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Illustrations by Alex Schubert

With high school graduations happening across the country this month, it's an important time to remember 18-year-olds know absolutely nothing. The summer after high school is a coming-of-age purgatory, when you feel like you've become a real grown-up, even though you're probably still asking your parents for $20 to see a movie or spend on weed.

When I was 18, I was about a year into doing stand-up comedy, eating grilled cheese sandwiches in my parents basement, and driving to open mics in Washington, DC. Now I'm 22, five years into doing stand-up comedy, eating grilled cheese sandwiches in my shared two-bedroom apartment, and finally getting paid enough to buy my own grilled cheese supplies. I still don't know a damn thing. So VICE asked me to email my famous comedy friends who are older than 30 and ask them what advice they'd give to their 18-year-old selves.

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Paul Scheer

If you're 18 and you're just out of high school, get a passport and get the fuck out of the country. For the rest of your life, you'll never be able to "find the time" or be able to get off work. This is the only time when it makes sense. You have no real responsibilities. So explore. Learn. Do it for a year and then come back and start your life. Even if you just go to college you'll be way ahead of the game. If that seems out of range, then just spend a week in Epcot Center in DisneyWorld. It's roughly the same thing, just about 75 percent more expensive.

Ian Karmel

Hey buddy, two huge things: You have to stop trying to be what you think girls want you to be. Like, really. Like, really, really, RILLUH (RILLUH RULLUH) try to be yourself and make yourself happy first. Follow that shit and develop yourself, don't just agree with everything a girl says. You don't really like Led Zepplin—you're just pretending to like Led Zepplin, 'cause that girl likes Led Zepplin. You're spending hours listening to dumbass Led Zep deep cuts so you can be like "Oh yeah, the 'Frost Owls of Zultamar,' underrated" or whatever their songs are called. Don't just nod your head and say "Oh yeah, of course" about this advice, either, 'cause you do that shit too. You're a smart kid, so you understand shit on a surface level, 'cause it sounds like what you're supposed to believe. But you don't understand it on a deep level. Really understand this on a deep level. Actually internalize it and live your life trying to be the most you possible.

Second thing: Cargo shorts are a poor choice and you will regret them half-way through your 29th year on Earth. Start regretting them now. People aren't "hating"—they're actually terrible.

TODD GLASS

OK Brandon, I want you to include every single thing in this interview with me, even what I just said. And quote me exactly, or I'll punch you in your fucking face. The question is "What advice would I give myself to me at 18?" which is a good question. But I'll tell you why I'm apprehensive to answer it. Because what you're really saying is, "what would you do different?" If you went back and gave your 18-year-old self advice, and hopefully you would take it, it would alter the way the events of your life fell in front of you. And as much as "yeah, I always want a little more, you want your career to be a little better," but I don't know if I would want it to happen any other way. I'm actually happy, so the advice I would give myself as an 18-year-old is nothing. I would shut the fuck up. Just let it happen the way it happened. But... if you're saying, "C'mon, Todd. Just do the interview. Stop being difficult," then I'm gonna have to say this: more pussy.

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Ron Funches

Hi, 18-year-old Ron. I bet you think that FUBU baseball jersey is gonna be a good look forever. It isn't. You're gonna wanna probably not even think about college and not waste the three weeks of time you're gonna spend before you drop out. Wear a condom and maybe ask yourself if the man really is holding you back, or are you just a lil bitch that likes to just take gravity bong hits and pass out all day? You're pretty cool on wrestling and video games though, that's gonna work out for you.

Jamie Lee

Don't date your best friend's ex-boyfriend. "Ex" doesn't mean she doesn't love him. Also: Stop baking full cans of biscuits and eating them in bed while watching Degrassi re-runs. Teenage eating-out-of-boredom is fleeting, but butt stretch marks are forever...

Things you shouldn't try: stand-up comedy... on acid!

Chelsea Peretti

Don't listen to the comedian onstage before you and get psyched out. Don't try to act tough all the time—let yourself be silly too. Have compassion for the audience but also know they are just a room of people on a given night. If some distracting thought crosses your mind onstage, say it. Let yourself go onstage looking raggedy sometimes. Record your sets. Bonding with comedians at festivals is more valuable than bonding with industry. Bring your own opener as soon as you can. Tell your comedy heroes you love them, because they die all the time.

Andy Kindler

Hey 18-year-old me. What's up? Would you like some advice from a fictional future-you? Here it is: Don't be so hard on yourself. Get off your own back. You have your whole life ahead of you, barring some horrible unforseen disaster. So have fun. But don't go blue. And even though it sounds like a brilliant idea, don't base your entire act on disparaging your co-workers.

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Jonah Ray

Hey idiot, I know all you want to do is move to LA and do comedy, but you are gonna stay in Hawaii, start drinking for the first time, playing in bands, and trying to get laid unsuccessfully. Then! A year later you are gonna move to Los Angeles thinking you'll start doing comedy, but all you are really gonna do is drink, do drugs, and sometimes successfully have sex. Then, a year later, you are gonna finally start going to open mics and continually think: "Fuck, I should've just moved straight to LA and started doing stand up at 18." This is gonna be a constant nag for years. But then, you realize: fuck that, I had fun, I fucked up, I got fucked up, I was a complete mess, and it was the best thing I coulda done with my life at that time. Things happen when they happen, your best bet is to not feel bad about the regrets you'll have.

KUMAIL NANJIANI

I know it all seems really hard right now. And it is. And it's going to get harder. Things are going to get very scary and you'll change your mind about lots of things, big things, that are currently very important to you. And your life is not going to go the way you want it to right now. But that's very good. Just know that, one day, it will get easier. And then each day will be better than the last. For now, work on being comfortable in your own skin and don't be too hard on yourself for things you can't control. And I know it seems impossible right now, but you will lose your virginity. Eventually. I promise.

Oh, and invest in some kale farms.

Follow Brandon Wardell on Twitter.

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Look at Stephen Maurice Graham's website, tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram.

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This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

This article contains spoilers for old Halo games, obviously.

The cobwebs begin to clear, the rather hectic entry through the lower part of the atmosphere having rendered you dazed. You begin to regain focus: your damaged capsule is very much stuck on something, hanging high above the ground. You need to eject yourself to meet your team. A mini-game ensues, with you punching buttons to blast the door open and escape to the world below.

Those of you with short memories might be thinking I'm describing the beginning of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. Try again. This is the Rookie's opening sequence from 2009's Halo 3: ODST, which has just been re-released on Xbox One as DLC for Halo: The Master Chief Collection. ODST was originally intended to be DLC itself, to plug the gap between Halo 3 and Halo Reach. But it evolved into something far more substantial than filler and is, in my opinion, the best game of the entire franchise.

The lead writer on the game, Joseph Staten, envisioned a complete departure from the style of the series' previous installments. A new cast of characters would replace the iconic Master Chief and other regulars who were indisposed courtesy of Halo 3's plot. ODST's story would revolve around a team of Orbital Drop Shock Troopers—Staten calls them "the mysterious soldiers with the untold tale"—and a familiar, singular world provided the playground for the player to explore. The game featured more contemporary weapons and tech, such as silenced magnums, no shields, and a rather useful night-vision VISOR mode. From the basic controls to the feel of the gameplay, ODST is as recognizable as any other Halo release; but everything else makes it a very different game, and all the more enjoyable because of it.

The game begins halfway though the events of Halo 2, just as the Prophet of Regret obliterates the African city of New Mombasa by entering Slipspace above it. It's here you enter as the Rookie, marooned in a destroyed metropolis filled with enemies at every turn, trying to track down your team and follow the signals of possible rescue. Once you've escaped the pod the dark, Covenant-infested city becomes the unnerving setting for this detective noir, sending you on several quests to not only find your colleagues but also unravel the events that occurred while you were unconscious—guns, tools, helmets, and various other things scattered around the place trigger flashbacks. Your search for hints of the recent past takes you through the darker territories of the burning New Mombasa, like a pulp fiction detective shrouding himself in the shadows.

The ODST cast is made up of marines that you've only previously heard of in other Halo games. Thankfully, they're fleshed into reality most excellently, with several voiced by Firefly actors. Alan Tudyk, Adam Baldwin, and Nathan Fillion, who were regulars of the sci-fi series, appear in ODST as Mickey, Dutch, and gunnery sergeant Edward Buck respectively. Add in Romeo, played by Nolan North of Uncharted's Nathan Drake fame (and so much more), and the cagy ONI agent Veronica Dare, played by Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer, and you've got some real science-fiction and gaming gravitas going on. The acting really did lift ODST above its peers of the time, and it's got the beating of many of today's new-gen games, too.

Related: VICE's five-part documentary on eSports

ODST doesn't simply explain its story through playable flashback sequences. It presents meaningful and well-designed levels, and set pieces that highlight each character's strengths, weaknesses, and history perfectly. The design of these stages plays an essential role in developing each character's personality, helping the player know them better. And the very making of the game is a product of these ingredients—actors, environments, enemies, guns, gameplay, and story—coming together beautifully. The result is some of the best atmosphere you'll ever experience in the first-person shooter genre, atmosphere underpinned by a truly scintillating score.

Those of us who have played Destiny to death can probably tell which music cues are made by Marty O' Donnell before he and Bungie parted ways. His instantly recognizable Gregorian chants became a classical-rock crossover masterpiece for the original Halo trilogy, accompanied by evocative flair pieces like the quite amazing and moving "Unforgotten" from Halo 2. But the soundtrack to Halo 3: ODST is arguably an even better showcase of O'Donnell's work, alongside composing partner Michael Salvatori.

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The game world of Halo 3: ODST is dictated by a lot of combining factors, but none glue it together more perfectly than its score and the sound engineering. There are the obvious dynamics of fights and flashback missions that echo the series' rockier, more rhythmic elements. But there's also this undercurrent of jazz and atmospheric sounds, subtle piano and solo saxophone sequences, connected by long, sweeping strings. These haunting strains accompany the feeling of loneliness you experience as the wandering Rookie, stealthily moving along unfamiliar streets with danger everywhere and limited resources.

The sounds of New Mombasa spill out everywhere, from the ringing telephones and the attention-grabbing machines the AI sets off to tell Sadie's Story, to the chirps of the health stations. The greatest achievement though, and one that really encapsulates that isolated feeling, is the sense of distance evident in the audio design. There's no rain in ODST, as the engine couldn't render it—but it's out there, beyond the city. You'll hear it, as you're walking around after dark. It snaps you into the moment, into the game, into the Rookie's shoes, and is a true triumph of the Halo series. ODST is one of only three FPS games to win in the Best Original Music award at the (formerly Spike) Video Game Awards, the others being BioShock and Destiny, with the latter composed by the same team.

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Bang, bang, bang.

The game owes a lot to some very clever lighting, too, and some rather claustrophobic maneuvering. There's constant shifting between the dark and abandoned night and the busier daytime flashbacks and that very cool VISOR feature. Removing the high-tech aspects of Master Chief's armor makes you play this game in a different way to other Halos, creeping around flickering fires, pointing the way to lonely computer terminals. Its single location, just one environment, helps the player connect with the Rookie's situation—but the game, despite its darkness, never abandons hope. Beneath everything, there's an engaging and human story here—a relatable one, of obstacles that need combating, and of light overcoming the darkest of scenarios.

ODST's graphics were praised for getting more life out of Halo 3's dated engine, but on release its "add-on" sales pitch left people feeling the game was too short and incomplete. Now, with the Master Chief Collection, it really is an add-on, albeit probably the best single player add-on out there. If you need an excuse to go back to the remastered collection, the new 1080p/60fps version of Halo 3: ODST will open your eyes to the greater universe beyond the MJOLNIR armor and SPARTAN program, and might just become your favorite Halo game, too.

Follow Sean on Twitter.

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All photos by the author.

One of the first times I hung out with Greg Miskha, owner of the New York-based clothing company that takes his last name, we drove around Orlando checking out yard sales. This was the early 2000s, and he was already making steady money on eBay by selling rare toys, records, books, and all sorts of collectibles.

Back then, eBay wasn't yet the primary place to buy and sell collectibles, as plenty of people were still doing fine out of brick and mortar storefronts. For a cognizant few, though, it was a resource that could produce coveted results if you had the patience and the endurance. Greg was one of the savvy people who was able to capitalize on a new marketplace that could deliver obscure artifacts to the collectors who sought them at top dollar. And because the source of these artifacts was the secondhand "junk" marketplaces of thrift stores, yard sales, and flea markets, Greg's eBay page was stocked with goods sourced from a world that was mostly ignorant of their value.

For as long as I've known him, Greg has been incredibly knowledgable about all kinds of music, movies, art, and design—he came up in the secretly hyper-influential early 2000s Orlando hip-hop scene—and he's always had a very unique take on it all. But his seemingly endless knowledge of every obscurity under the sun doesn't feel like a buffer between him and other people, rather, it's more of a humble invitation to learn from a master. He's one of those rare individuals all about connecting the dots, not shattering the veil.

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Once Mishka NYC got started Greg's toy collection became the basis for a company that continues to capture what it means to have a certain set of sensibilities. I recently stopped by his new LA office to talk about his collection, and check out the obscurities that constitute his everyday surroundings.

VICE: What toy has been in your collection the longest, and how did you come to acquire it?
Greg Mishka: At this point it's a rare Frankenstein toy from Spain in the 70s. It's called El Monstro De Sanchezstein. It's from a very obscure 1970s Spanish TV show. It comes in the box and is extremely rare. I bought it at a toy show in Florida in the mid-90s.

Which toy took you the longest to find, and how did you finally get your hands on it?
Probably the Mr.T toy guitar. It's almost impossible to find. It finally popped up one day on eBay.

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Greg's Mr. T Gabloob figure.

What is your most coveted toy?
It's not a toy, per se, but a toy prototype that was made for trade shows. I have the prototype for the 6" Mr. T A-Team Galoob figure. I bought it from a guy over the phone in the late 90s while I was working at a vintage toy shop in Central Florida. Before PayPal, we were able to accept credit cards over the phone through our processor so people would call up to pay for eBay auctions and I would talk to them. Long story short the guy had just bought a collection of prototypes from a man that worked at Galoob. I got really, really lucky.

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A close-up of the toys above Greg's hat display in his LA shop.

How did you get into Kaiju (Japanese monster toys), and how would you compare the Kaiju market in the US when you first started collecting them to now?
I got into Kaiju mostly through Super7. I had some old Japanese magazines and books before that, but I had no clue what they were from or what they were. Super7 was the first magazine that talked about and described Japanese Kaiju in English. The market now has blown up. Especially with US toy makers, it's not only easier to find it here to buy, it's really easy to make your own if you have some extra money.

What's the oldest toy in your collection?
Again it's not a toy, but I have an actual mummified hand. It's from Ancient Egypt so it's a couple thousand years old.

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A real-life mummified hand.

What is the creepiest toy you've ever owned?
I once had a haunted doll that I sold on eBay. His name is Haunted Harold. I sort of made the story up but the new owner has a twitter account and says it's ACTUALLY haunted.

How do you think your passion for toys has contributed to Mishka, and what do you think the results are?
I think my collecting nature has brought me to see and appreciate toys as sculpture and art. Sometimes it's the actual object and other times it's the packaging. I think both have helped develop a lot of the thoughts and visions behind the brand.

See more photos of Greg's toy collection below.

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Greg's Lobster Roll toys

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Porcelain Yoda shaka and Kaijus in a display case

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Various oddities and Egyptian collectibles

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Greg's custom Lobster Roll toys

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A Jesus comic book

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Handmade Mr. T doll

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Kaijus (with penises)

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Charlie Chaplin doll

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Various Egyptian/Occult memorabilia

Follow Zach on Twitter.

WIN WIN is the Brooklyn-based trio featuring Alex Epton—also known as "XXXChange"—who produced rapper Spank Rock's hit debut album in 2006 and has been working on his own stuff ever since. The group released their first album in 2011, featuring some eclectic and semi-high profile collaborations, like Alexis Taylor of Hot Chip and Lizzi Bougatsos of Gang Gang Dance, among others. Now, WIN WIN is preparing to drop a third record, called Primaries, due out June 30 via Arts & Crafts Records, and we are premiering their video for the song "Been So Long." The track blends electronic instrumentation with a freak-folk pop vibe, and the video itself is a bizarre computer-generated psychedelic dance wormhole. Watch it above.

Preorder the new album here.

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Photo by Flickr user Katheirne Hitt

During one of my bi-weekly attempts to quit smoking pot, my naturopath suggested I read Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I did and it worked! But not in the way I had intended.

After reading the book, my mostly indifferent attitudes towards cigarettes shifted drastically. They were suddenly revolting to me. While I'd been a social smoker as a teen (read: I'd mooch off people and never bought my own pack), I'd only smoke cigarettes as an adult when visiting Paris.

I was seriously impressed that the book had done such a number on me, though it did precious little to influence my dependency on the devil's lettuce. It also left me wondering why something equally as effective and lucrative (Carr's book has sold more than 13 million copies) hadn't yet happened for marijuana. As pot becomes more entrenched in the mainstream, with entrepreneurs scrambling to get in on this growing market, the number of people who become dependent on it will likely increase. So, why aren't more savvy businesspeople jumping on the quit smoking pot market?

Depending on whom you talk to, it can go either way. Some say a market for quitting pot will be as likely to exist as a market for quitting coffee—in that, it will never happen. Others see a huge potential based on all the new potheads that will be cropping up in the years to come, as legalization ever so slowly sweeps across North America.

According to researchers at the Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse, there is evidence that shows marijuana can create physical and psychological dependency. While quitting pot is nothing comparable to heroin or even prescription pills, the challenge to quit will depend on things like your genetic makeup, predisposition to addiction, and how young you were when you started toking. It's said that up to 10 percent of pot smokers are dependent on the substance.

While perusing through Amazon for resources that might help, I found a few dozen mostly self-published books, along with guided hypnosis tracks, and tank tops that say "Fuck It I Quit" with a fist bursting through a pot leaf.

Dr. Tony DeRamus, a Texas-based chiropractor, self-published a book called The Secret Addiction: Overcoming Your Marijuana Dependency in 2011. It's sold, on average, 150 copies a month since then and has an accompanying website.

As a former pot smoker, he felt his habit was incongruent with regularly telling his patients to take care of themselves. He started writing the book in 2007, but only pushed himself to complete it, and kick his habit for good, after facing some bad business decisions. DeRamus felt he needed to take on his hardship with a clear mind—and eventually succeeded.

"Some people can make the decision and walk away from it," he says. "That's not the norm for someone who's smoked daily for several years."

He admits it's a small market at this point, and that the people who are putting out books and products are doing it from an altruistic standpoint. But, based on the rapid growth of the marijuana industry, DeRamus expects that to change within the next five years, which he says is the amount of time it takes for someone to realize they have a problem

"It never allows you to hit rock bottom like another drug would," he says. "That's a problem. Marijuana allows you to float through life. It takes a while for someone to realize they're missing out on certain aspects of their life."

While he's not opposed to marijuana use for medicinal purposes, he's against legalization since he feels it gives people another substance to become attached to.

"Anything that can stimulate dopamine can be addictive," DeRamus says. "We really have to be ready to meet the demand of the people wanting to get away from the addiction."

There are currently no prescriptive drugs on the market to help with kicking the pot habit, like Zyban does for cigarettes, but that's likely to change.

A 2014 study titled "Pharmacotherapies for cannabis dependence" found that "antidepressants, bupropion, buspirone and atomoxetine are probably of little value in the treatment of cannabis dependence" but "preparations containing tetrahydrocannabinol (THC)... are of potential value in the treatment of cannabis dependence, but limitations in the evidence are such that this application of THC preparations should be considered still experimental."

The study also found that gabapentin, an anti-epileptic medication, and N-acetylcysteine, an amino-acid derivative, had potential but needed further research.

A professor of pharmacology with the University of Maryland School of Medicine that I reached out to mentioned working with the National Institute for Drug Research to develop ideas about new pharmacological interventions to help quit pot. He said it was too early to talk about it though, and to try him again in a few months.

Zach Walsh, psychology professor at the University of British Columbia, focuses much of his research on medical marijuana. He predicts that there won't be much of a market for those looking to cash in on helping potheads with dependency, because it's simply not that problematic.

"It would be a lifestyle switch," he says. "It's not the kind of thing that if they wanted to do it, they'd need to engage in intensive psycho-behavioral reorganization of their lives to conquer the addiction. There is a modest dependence profile of cannabis, less profound than with caffeine."

He adds that if you want to make money off pot somehow, "you're better off just starting a vaporizer company."

Follow Elianna Lev on Twitter.

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One of several pictures cops took of the pig, Daisy, in custody. All photos by Sgt. Larry Rice

"It's kinda crazy how this has blown up," Sergeant Larry Rice of the Shelby Township, Michigan, Police Department says over the phone.

He's referring, of course, to the delightful picture he snapped of a pig in the backseat of Officer Kevin Treworgy's car last Thursday. You've probably seen that photo—just about every outlet on Earth has featured it online.

"A friend of mine lives over in Spain, in Madrid actually, and said she's got connections—she has friends all over Europe and stuff—and someone sent her a picture of the pig from Germany," Rice, who had no clue he was in possession of internet gold, tells VICE. "Honest to God, I would never in a million years have thought that."

The pig photo was a welcome break in the news cycle. We tend to talk about American police these days solely in the context of horrific incidents of brutality, a fact that isn't lost on these Michigan cops.

It's a "funny story, not shooting an unarmed subject, or choking somebody, or whatever," Officer Treworgy says. "Kind of a funny story for a change." Though not everyone was happy at all the attention the department, he added: "Honestly, there's guys at work who are pissed off at looking like a bunch of hillbillies."

The pig was eventually returned to its owner, who Treworgy says wrestled it in the parking lot at the police station. But my primary interest was in Rice and his breakthrough as a photographer. Here's what he had to say.

VICE: How did you get involved in this incident in the first place?
Sergeant Larry Rice: When they dispatched me, I actually sent a message over computer to dispatch [to confirm it]. I said, "Was that a pig?!" When I pulled up, Officer Treworgy had the pig, he was kind of holding it, and he had a dog leash kind of wrapped around it. I pulled up and kind of started laughing. I couldn't believe Treworgy had a pig—I was expecting a potbelly pig that people have as pets. But it was a full-grown pig. He said, "I don't think I can hold him much longer." We went over there and [the pig] fought with us, put up a little bit of a fight, but we were able to get it over to the car.

Interested in pigs? Check out this MUNCHIES investigation of the Dutch farm where pigs go to be massaged until they die.

Once you got the pig in the car, it kinda wrecked it, right?
She didn't actually wreck the car, but we put her in there and once we got her in there, we were cracking up and there were a couple neighborhood people watching. I looked over at Treworgy and said, "Dude, I gotta get a picture of this," went to my car, grabbed my phone, took a couple pictures. At that point, she was just looking out the window.

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Officer Kevin Treworgy's car did not make it out of this incident without sustaining some damage, mostly of the filthy variety.

Did you expect these photos to make noise online?
We were kinda shocked. Seriously, I just sent it to some of the guys on shift. I sent a picture to my wife and some of the guys that were off at the time. Treworgy asked me to send him some of the pictures, and then he ended up talking to Leslie Heisler—an officer in charge of our Facebook page—and then it just blew up from there. The next thing you know, a couple hours later, I was in the Lieutenant's office and we got a phone call from the media wanting to know about the pig.

Do you take other pictures? Is photography a passion of yours?
It was literally just me grabbing my cell phone. If you were to look at my cell phone, 99 out of 100 pictures are of my kids and then there's like two or three pictures of the pig. All I did was walk over to the back window and take some pictures, and it wasn't even something where I could make sure it was zooming in [properly] or anything. If you've seen the picture that's been all over the internet, there's major glare. When I take pictures of my kids, I try to be [careful].

How does this stack up to other crazy shit you've seen on the job?
Honestly, I've seen a lot of crazy stuff. I've been a police officer for going on 18 years, and four of 'em was in Detroit. But [when it comes to] lightheartedness and fun, this will be up there, will be something everybody will be referencing [forever]. My dad was a police officer and he ended up having to chase down an actual bull that was running around their town all over the place. My dad had the bull, I have the pig now. It's kinda funny. I've seen bad stuff and I've seen funny stuff and, actually, we always like to just talk about the good, funny stuff.

Follow Matt Taylor on Twitter.

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A homeless man in Hackney. Photo by Tom Johnson

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Imagine you have almost nothing in the world. No job, no home, no possessions. You have no material wealth at all. The only thing you have is your right to exist, your only possession your right to sit, to sleep, to literally just be.

Now imagine having that taken from you as well.

This pretty much just happened, in London. Not in Qatar, or Russia, or one of countless other places where human rights abuses are about as common as passing traffic.

This happened in Hackney, where the council recently introduced a Public Space Protection Order allowing police and council officers to issue fines of up to £1,000 ($1,500) for a range of so-called offenses including begging, loitering, and rough sleeping.

In other words, a London borough just criminalized being homeless.

Homeless people have faced an increasing infringement of their rights in recent years. Until now, this has largely been driven by the private sector, which uses armies of security guards and "defensive architecture" such as anti-homeless spikes and anti-sleeping benches to ensure only the right kind of people are allowed access to their properties. This is itself a problem, given the rate at which public space is being seized by the grasping hands of private companies. But the fact that a local authority—a body which has a duty to protect its most vulnerable residents—is criminalizing homelessness, marks a shocking escalation of an already disturbing trend.

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Photo by Tom Johnson.

Jon Sparkes, chief executive at homelessness charity Crisis described Hackney's policy as "counterproductive," pointing out that "people in desperate circumstances deserve better than to be treated as a nuisance." Mark McPherson, director of strategy at Homeless Link, said, "any move to criminalize sleeping rough could simply create additional problems to be overcome." In Oxford, a similar proposed ban on rough sleeping was scrapped after an outcry during the consultation process. By contrast, Hackney Council didn't bother conducting a public consultation before introducing the policy. If they had, they might have heard from tens of thousands of people who have signed a petition calling for the rough sleeping ban to be lifted.

All this probably shouldn't come as a surprise. This is a local authority which, when it's not harassing rough sleepers, goes about bulldozing historic buildings, clamping down on nightlife, and generally turning its patch of East London into one big gentrification Disneyland where the strict rules and expensive food are all worthwhile so long as the value of Sleeping Beauty's Castle keeps rocketing upwards every year. But making homelessness illegal? This is a new low.

The council has claimed that enforcement will be a last option and that the order is intended to persuade rough sleepers to take up the help that is on offer. By doing so, it suggests that anyone still sleeping rough is doing so out of choice and is engaged in "persistent anti-social behavior." Speaking to charities working with homeless people in the area, they tell a different story, pointing out that certain groups such as immigrants are often ineligible for hostel accommodation unless they agree to return to their home countries.

Reasons for the policy apparently include people "fighting" and "spitting on passers-by." That stuff is not cool, but is clearly already illegal. Other parts of the policy seem reasonable on the face of it—like banning people from "defecating in a public place." Except it's not that reasonable when the number of public toilets is in decline and you can't afford to be a customer in a bougie café or a cocktail bar. It's not like anyone's shitting in the street for a laugh.

Related: Watch out film about the battle to live in London, 'Regeneration Game'

Other offenses are so gloriously vague it would seem almost impossible to avoid breaking them. How long do you have to stand around before it counts as loitering? The council argues that it's not seeking to criminalize homelessness, but would it really be possible for a homeless person to go a day without committing any of these offenses? The £1,000 penalty makes the policy as laughable as it is outrageous. In case you missed it, homeless people tend to be a bit short on cash. They might as well ask for payment in magic beans.

Over on Noisey: British Music Is Booming Right Now

So far, despite mounting outrage over the policy, the council has refused to back down. Deputy mayor Sophie Linden published a statement which said Hackney's residents have a "right to live in a safe, non-threatening environment," which raises troubling questions about who decides what's "safe" and "nonthreatening," and why homeless people don't also share that right.

Hackney's Public Space Protection Order does the exact opposite of protecting public space. By outlawing the "antisocial," it destroys the social function of our public spaces, where people from all walks of life interact. It's bad enough that our cities are being bought up by corporations with a stronger responsibility to their bottom line than to the poor and disenfranchised, without public authorities going down the same path. Public spaces should be for everyone—not least those who have no private spaces to call their own.

In the opening paragraph of his 2001 book, Tearing Down the Streets, professor Jeff Ferrell wrote: "Something's gone wrong. Something has shifted away, away from what it means to live our lives together in public, away from a sense of the city as an open, inclusive community." Nearly 15 years on, things are still going wrong. And it seems they're only getting worse.

Follow Mark on Twitter.

This July, VICE will partner with The Orchard to promote the release of Cartel Land—a Sundance Award–winning documentary about two vigilante groups and their shared enemy, the drug cartels who wreak havoc on their towns. Director Matthew Heineman and executive producer Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker, Zero DarkThirty) got a visceral, on-the-ground look at an uprising in the Mexican state of Michoacán that is fighting off the violent Knights Templar cartel and an Arizona veteran who is leading a small paramilitary group to make sure Mexico's drug wars don't seep across the border.

The documentary provides a window into the ways people have come together to maintain justice after larger institutions have crumbled and left them behind. Heineman received both the 2015 Sundance Directing Award as well as the Special Jury Award for Cinematography in the US Documentary competition, and we are proud to help get the film the notice it deserves. Watch the trailer above.

Cartel Land will be in theaters in July 2015. Follow on Facebook and at their website for updates.

The Washington Post's Swati Sharma just noticed something weird about the Islamic State's radio bulletins: They sound almost exactly like news updates from NPR.

The bulletins, which began in April, start with "We thank our listeners for tuning in and present the following Islamic State news bulletin," and the host speaks in calm, sane-sounding American English. He keeps things so sober that even when he mentions a guy who died in a suicide attack, and says, "May Allah accept him amongst the shuhadā,'" it sounds like the next thing out of his mouth is going to be an appeal for you to subscribe and get a free tote bag.

Any self-respecting group of murderous radicals needs to broadcast their ideology, so it's never really a surprise when we hear how much propaganda the Islamic State churns out. The forms and styles of the products consistently blow minds, though. For instance, those who tuned into the video of Jordanian pilot Moath al-Kasasbeh being horribly burned to death (don't click that), were treated to a quick-cut prelude that could have passed for one of the crappier political documentaries on Netflix.

Now, the Islamic State has its own Steve Inskeep and a radio program that could slip right into your Stitcher feed and you would barely even notice.

Want more in-depth stories about the Islamic State?

1. Air Strike Hits Islamic State Car Bomb Factory in Iraq
2. Iraq Pleads for More Help From West as Bombs Continue to Drop on Islamic State
3. Watch Our Peabody Award Winning Documentary:The Islamic State
4. Check Out the Trailer for Our New Documentary about the Peshmurga's Fight Against the Islamic State

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All photos by Jake Tucker.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Feral Vector ran at a loss of £300 [$460] this year.

David Hayward, the event's organizer, is angry. He's not angry about the loss: he's happy to cover the costs to provide something for the community. "I'm angry at senior video game figures that can't talk about the culture of video games," he says in an impassioned opening speech to kick off Feral Vector's festivities. "It always comes back to the money. Every time. That creates a bleak future for them and for us."

It's brave to hold a games event outside of London, especially in the small town of Hebden Bridge, but Hayward has form. After "accidentally" getting into games while trying to use Unreal Engine to design a house, he's been organizing events like this one for as long as the UK indie scene has existed, undertaking curator duties for EGX, Rezzed, and Virgin Media's Game Space.

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"I started to think that conferences were a little dull," Hayward muses, when I ask him about what inspired him to create events like this. "The people I was inviting were quite nervous about speaking on a stage in a hall, but they were really interesting creative people who could do all kinds of stuff. There were things happening at the same time, like Hide & Seek's Sandpit festival, full of amazing games where you run around the Southbank, pretending to be a bee, or you have a room full of contraband that you have to smuggle to somewhere else in the Royal Festival Hall, past people dressed up as security guards without them realizing what you're carrying. And, you know, there was little stuff, but that game had things like chairs and a rolled-up carpet and a person pretending to be unconscious.

"And I realized that games events could be a lot more fun, a lot more useful, because I always fall asleep at conferences. Like, in the afternoon, after you've had lunch, you go into some sweaty, stuffy room and listen to some guy droning on from a stage. It just sends me straight to sleep, and I don't want my events to be like that."

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There's a real feeling of optimism to Feral Vector. From David's opening speech to the final breakfast on Sunday morning, there's a sense here that gaming is coming together as a community, rather than just an industry.

"I come here for many reasons, but I think one of the main ones is that it's nothing to do with money," says Simon Roth, developer of Maia. "It's nice to go to events and learn stuff, but I'm tired of people telling me that I need to do things just for the money. There's no talk of free to play here, no one is trying to sell me a new business model."

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"As an industry we need lots of innovation," he continues, "and here you can bring your little game and get people's reactions without spending £2,000 for a booth or $250 for a conference pass. You can just get out and connect to people."

He stops, stifling giggles as four players all flail into the water as one at the end of a tense round of Gang Beasts. Cheers ring around the large hall. Tickets for Feral Vector started at £30 [$45] for the full weekend. Small clusters of people are trying out new games for the first time on laptops as their developers look on nervously, while popular party games are being played out in the main space.

Related: The Secret History of Cabbage Patch Kids

You may also love: The Mystical Universe of 'Magic: The Gathering'

"Here, there's massive explosions of stuff coming together in new ways that are completely awesome, rather than just incremental improvements," Roth says. "That means that someone here is going to go home and invent the next indie breakout. It's not about if these games are commercially viable, but whether or not they're innovative."

Rather than focussing on video games as a medium, Feral Vector is championing the values behind games and play. George Buckenham's Twitter Bot Workshop wasn't about video games, rather creativity and innovation: he wrote a tool before the event to allow attendees without coding experience to learn easily, which is now available for all to use.

Other activities have a similar ethos: Botany walks featured Proteus developer Ed Key chowing down on various (hopefully) edible plants and Harry Giles' game-poem exercise had attendees showing off their best primal screams and discovering the workshop areas weren't soundproofed. A spontaneous micro-talk at the counter for tea focussed on one attendee's love for Neko Atsume, a cat collecting game available solely in Japanese that infiltrates the smartphones of every person that comes into contact with it. For the rest of the event people were furtively showing off pictures of digital cats they'd charmed.

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If you love this kind of coverage, you'll love Motherboard

This is what Feral Vector is all about. There's a human side to games that can get swallowed up between all the hype and bluster of the triple-A machine. This event and others like it are giving people new experiences and new opportunities. The sense that the games industry is moving forwards here, in a small building in Yorkshire, is equal parts humorous and invigorating.

It's not easy going. Without the big money publishers throw at the larger industry events, this area could be starting to flounder. William Pugh, one of the writers behind The Stanley Parable, is showing Bird Ball and The Kevin Patterson Experience at the show, and thinks this level of event is essential.

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"I deeply wish that there is a trend to events like this," he tells me. "But I don't know if I'd say that there was. I'd say that it's becoming increasingly difficult to get funding for these sorts of things. I mean, I know people who run stuff like Screenshake over in Belgium, more than half the energy that they're putting into their festivals is trying to acquire funding via stuff like Indiegogo. I wouldn't think you'd see Arts Council England funding something like this. I don't want to get... I'm not getting political, but I think I'd be very worried about the trajectory that we see, like, the notion of publicly funded arts stuff going, with the new government.

"So, I'm saying that I deeply, deeply wish that there is a trend towards this sort of stuff, but I worry for its future."

I'm happy to get political about it. Inclusive and exploratory occasions like Feral Vector are essential for shaping the next wave of video games. The future isn't sticky controllers while people paw at the latest Call of Duty in humid conference halls: it's in these smaller events, that bring people together and let them share ideas in a safe space, where everyone can speak up and be heard.

Follow Jake on Twitter.

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Photos by Megan Koester and Jaime Lee Curtis Taete

Writers will endlessly pen articles about why Los Angeles is better than New York, or why New York is actually the best, or why you should really move to Pittsburgh instead, but ultimately the point is moot, since all cities are the same, save for small changes in architecture and public transit systems. Now, finally, there is a place you can move that exists wholly outside the crushing reality of our 2015 world—a place that recalls a simpler time, when men were men and women were women and cars were powered by your own two feet. That place is called Bedrock City, and it can be yours for the low, low price of $2 million.

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Bedrock City is a Flintstones-themed amusement park in Arizona near the Grand Canyon which opened in 1972 and has delighted successively fewer and fewer young children over the last four decades. The 30-acre park is full of aging, stucco recreations of the homes of Fred, Wilma, Barney, and the rest of the gang, and is also home to hulking, pastel-colored dinosaur statues. It's up for sale according to their brochure, which says it is the perfect place for casinos, resorts, time shares, or just a nice place to settle down when you want to escape the city grind. It also seems like the best place to start a cult since Manson took over an old Western movie set.

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Want Some In-Depth Stories About Cartoons?

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4. Johnny Woods Creates Art That Dives into the Uncanny Valley

Follow River on Twitter.

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Yesterday, Kendall and Kylie Jenner debuted their new fashion line at Topshop in The Grove, the same Los Angeles mall where Kim Kardashian recently held a book signing for Selfie. Like Kim's book signing, the place was packed: Teens started lining up outside the store at 6 AM, vying for a chance to meet one of the sisters (only the first 100 people got the chance to do so) when the line officially launched at 4 PM.

The sisters told Topshop that the line, called Kendall + Kylie, is inspired by "the LA girl—who she is, what she loves to do, and what her dream capsule wardrobe would be." If the crowd yesterday is any indication, then their target customers are kids with mouths full of metal.

See more of Michelle Groskopf's photography on her website and on Instagram.

Our VICE Mexico team took us to La Esperanza. A little town in the nowadays violent state of Guerrero where indigenous people have the very lovely tradition of beating the shit out of each other in order to ask the gods for a good rainy season.

Their host, Lucia Anaya, got to be a part of a full day of drinking mezcal, dancing, praying, and inflating turkey stomachs like balloons. Then, the people of La Esperanza took them to the battlefield, where once a year they meet up with their neighbor town and fight. The tradition says that every drop of blood will turn into a drop of rain, and Lucia was determined to spill some blood in the name of La Esperanza.

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Jonathan Ames. Photo courtesy of Pushkin Press.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Alan Blair is a neurotic, alcoholic, struggling artist. He has an uncle who is fanatical about firearms and a butler called Jeeves who may or may not be imaginary. He is also the main character of a fictional novel called Wake Up, Sir!

The book was written by Jonathan Ames, a multi-talented New Yorker with a lackadaisical drawl and a taste for English literature. It was published in America in 2004, but is only just reaching British shelves now. In that interim period, Ames has gone from writing self-effacing confessional columns to writing a hit HBO show, Bored to Death, with some boxing and graphic novel writing in between.

I spoke to Ames about how his life, his writing style and the world at large have changed between the publication of Wake Up, Sir! in the US and the UK.

VICE: Is it strange to have to talk about a book you wrote ten years ago?
Jonathan Ames: I remember writing it, so it's not totally strange. I think it may have taken so long to come out here because it pays homage to [PG] Wodehouse, who is kind of a national treasure in the UK. Maybe it was a bit much that an American would even presume to play with Wodehouse. But it is out of complete affection and admiration and fascination that I wrote the book.

There's a distinct strain of Britishness in Wake Up, Sir!, and in all your work. What is it about Britain that appeals to you so much? You can be as complimentary as you like.
It's the literature that has appealed to me over the years, mostly in my formative years as a writer. When I was writing Wake Up, Sir! I was enamored by Wodehouse—it was the only thing I read. Two of my favorite writers, Raymond Chandler and PG Wodehouse, were in school at the same time at Dulwich. What I love about both these writers is their sentences. Whoever taught grammar at that school must have been phenomenal.

In your HBO show, Bored to Death, the character Jonathan Ames is really into Raymond Chandler. You seem to wear your influences on your sleeve; do you think you are easily influenced?
There is a documentary about jazz by Ken Burns. In it, all the great jazz musicians talk about how, when they made music, they were responding to people whose music they loved. They were responding to sounds they had heard.

Writing and music are very similar. I respond to the sounds of sentences I hear in my mind and the kinds of stories I enjoy reading. So, in that sense, I do wear my influences on my sleeve.

A while ago you said there were more writers now and less readers. What do you think the implications of this are?
I don't remember saying that, but it sounds good. It's an epigrammatic statement that could probably easily be proved wrong. But we all know that there has been a radical shift in literature because of the internet. I don't know what will happen to reading, but I don't know what will happen to the oceans. I'm just like all of us, hanging on in my middle class way.

Into literature? Then you'll enjoy our interview with the author of 'Rise of the Warrior Cop,' Radley Balko

How have these changes affected you?
There must be something about the internet that affects our brain the same way cocaine affects a rat's brain. We all keep dipping at it, but it doesn't require the sustained attention that a novel requires or the sustained solitude of just sitting down and reading.

Consciousness is becoming more fragmented. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It's simply change. Luckily, for now, we still have books, and Wake Up, Sir! is coming out soon.

In the book, Blair struggles to write his second novel and turns to drink. A lot of writers seem to have dependency issues—or, at least, the ones with dependency issues have very public dependency issues. Do you think the creative process and overindulging go hand in hand?
Well, lots of professionals other than writers have dependency issues. Lots of humans have dependency issues, in fact. Probably, if you're artistic, you're oversensitive and need to express your oversensitivity. Or you're a whiner or a complainer and you want the world to know how much pain you're in, and so maybe you self medicate.

At the time when I was writing the book, I was somewhat fascinated by the notion of chemical dependency. That was something I was trying to figure out in my own life. That doesn't interest me so much any more.

How have your interests changed over time?
In the 90s, my work was much more autobiographical. I had a column in a newspaper and used myself as a character. When I wrote nonfiction people would say: "Oh, come on! You made that up." And when I wrote fiction people would say: "Why don't you just call it a memoir?"

As I got older, the need to use myself as a character to confess became less strong. It would embarrass me now to talk so much about myself.

Read on Motherboard: There Are Only Six Basic Book Plots, According to Computers

A lot of your characters have either fucked up or are in the process of fucking up. In the past, this came from the autobiographical aspect of your process, but doesn't match up any more. How has your success changed your writing?
First of all, I think all human beings are screwing up all the time. Human existence is mostly defined by confusion, or at least that's my confused perspective. Most of my characters are confused but trying to find their way. In that sense, things are still autobiographical, and I can put my confusions into all my characters, even if their circumstances are different from mine.

I'm still definitely struggling, at least mentally. That never really goes away. I guess you get a little bit better at being alive, but then the older you get the less you know. It never gets easy. Or maybe it does when you're senile. I don't know.

I sometimes think that people who seem to be confident and are comfortable with themselves lack some self-awareness.
Yeah. I'm not good with tweeting and such, because as soon as I say something I doubt it. But we project a lot. We may see people who seem completely on top of things, but who knows what they are like when at home alone. Think about sports heroes—who knows what Roger Federer is like behind closed doors?

In Wake Up, Sir! Blair and Jeeves have a conversation about everyone being sexually tormented in one way or another. Do you think we're getting more or less healthy in our attitudes to sex?
I think maybe in London and New York and Los Angeles there's greater tolerance, but I can't speak about the rest of the world. I live in a privileged ghetto. People will always have a lot of issues about sex, but they will also always enjoy it. It's an interesting one. Sex and the toilet are areas people have issues. Let's leave it at that.

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Photo courtesy of Pushkin Press.

You released Sexual Metamorphosis, which is about trans people, in 2005. How do you feel about the advances that have been made since then?
I've always been fascinated by trans issues, and I think the greater acceptance of transgender people is a bit of a phenomenon in the 21st century. I wonder if it speaks to a change in humanity itself. This could just be one stage in our development and humanity is moving to a more androgynous place, and a more androgynous place would be a less violent place.

You often take a playful approach to violence. The boxing match in Bored to Death, for example, or Blair's uncle's gun obsession. Is that a reflection of your perspective on violence?
In You Were Never Really Here, a novella I wrote a few years ago, there are some violent passages, mostly just because of my fascination with the pulp and noir genres. But then I thought: 'Why am I adding more senseless violence to the world?'

Then again, it's hard to get away from violence. The human condition is defined by just two things. Comedy celebrates life. Tragedy ends with death. These two genres are hard to escape from. Even the internet can't get rid of life and death.

Thanks, Jonathan.

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