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Iran's Former American Embassy Is Now a Museum of Anti-American Art

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[body_image width='1051' height='700' path='images/content-images/2015/04/29/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/04/29/' filename='irans-former-american-embassy-museum-201-body-image-1430304862.jpg' id='50922']

The former American embassy in Tehran.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

I was traveling through Iran recently, documenting glaciers as part of Project Pressure, a photographic initiative that aims to highlight climate change and inspire people to campaign against it. I had a couple of days off midway through, so I decided to knock about in Tehran.

The Iranian capital is a beautiful city with no shortage of sights. However, the one that stuck out for me was the former American Embassy, which has been disused since November of 1979, ever since revolutionary students occupied it, taking dozens of American staff hostage. The building is now a museum—or rather a testament to Iran's distaste for anything American and Jewish, full of propagandist and, at times, extremist art.

At the end of a hallway, for instance, sits a bronze statue of the mushroom cloud of a nuclear blast. Nuclear fission is actually a theme running throughout the museum; there's also a small painting of a scale, with the US and Israel's bombs on one side and Iran's tiny nuclear particle on the other end. Iran's particle outweighing the others, of course.

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The most puzzling installation I came across was that of five life-size soldier heads impaled on a stick. It wasn't made clear to me how this gory piece was meant to be understood or whom it was depicting, but it made me feel uncomfortable.

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Part of the stairway graffiti—UN balloons, a dog barking, and a guy with a bag over his head

The pièce de résistance was a mural on the stairway: the Statue of Liberty as a skeleton, burning stars and stripes, a Jewish guy with a really big nose, a plane crashing into a pair of skyscrapers, the American eagle, the Eye of Providence, a yoyo carrying the words "Bin Laden," and more unsubtle propagandist images spread out over multiple floors.

I walked up and down that staircase a few times, mesmerized and slightly confused by the lurid messaging. I tried to scan the piece for a signature but sadly there was none, and no one was able to tell me who the artist was. After a while, our guide said we had to move on, so I left the old embassy begrudgingly, feeling slightly disappointed that I wasn't able to find out any more about this anti-imperialist shrine.

What I know for certain is that if you ever happen to be in Tehran, do yourself a favor and check out the old American embassy. And then let me know who painted that big weird anti-Semitic, anti-imperialist mural.


A Bonus Look at the Lives of Small-Time Penis Enlargers

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A month ago, VICE Germany brought you a look at the life of Miche, a man with a penis that had been permanently enlarged to superhuman proportions with silicone injections. Frederik Busch's chance encounter with Miche at a men's sex club called Laboratory in Berlin took him on a journey into the surprisingly friendly world of German people you can pay to enlarge your penis.

If you haven't already checked out that piece, titled What Life Is Like with a Giant, Silicone-Enhanced Penis, do so immediately, unless you don't care about humungous dicks.

Miche's quest for what might be the girthiest package on the planet wasn't a simple trip from point A (humdrum penis) to point B (penis that can be toted around town in a codpiece the size of a Prada handbag). Along the way, he tried every type of less permanent enhancement on offer. It turns out the lives of those who make those measures available are arguably as interesting as Miche's.

So today we're presenting a pair of bonus mini-documentaries about two of them.

Inside the base of operations at Dildoking, Berlin's premier erotic equipment emporium, we met the affable Bernd Hofmeister. In the previous video, Bernd told us he discretely fills 1,400-1,500 penis pump orders per month. But he ships a lot more than penis pumps. Here's a look at his day-to-day life, which he says includes receiving photos from satisfied customers that seem to defy medical logic.

Meanwhile, at AVS Clinic in Dresden, Eve Dynamite is a registered nurse who will safely inject saline wherever her patients need it. For instance, if you need saline in your scrotum before you play soccer so you can put your inflated sack on display for the other men, Eve is your gal.

But there's more to a day's work at AVS Clinic than saline injections. In addition to Eve, we spent some time with Anna Von Sax, a German dominatrix who is too good to be true. She looks like what Mel Brooks would have in mind if he phoned central casting and asked for a dominatrix, and then asked her to change his diaper.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

A Brit Explains the UK Election Results to Americans

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Americans don't usually pay attention when other countries vote. We don't know who the candidates are, or how those other electoral systems work, and unless a war breaks out afterward, we may not know there was an election at all. As a general rule, we're not interested in news that's not about us. Plus, now that our own presidential contest has turned into 18-month reality TV show starring Hillary Clinton and a rotating cast of right-wingers, anyone with even a vague interest in politics doesn't have time for anyone else's political issues.

But other countries do hold elections, and sometimes the results can be interesting, or at least can give you something to talk about when your friend starts yelling at the bar about America's need for a third party.

The UK held such an election last week. Billed as the most important political contest in a generation, the campaign was weird, at least by British standards, which means that it mostly involved a lot of doughy white guys talking politely about the deficit. Analysts predicted that the contest was going to be unprecedentedly close, but in the end they were all wrong: The Conservative Party, led by David Cameron, swept to a surprisingly strong victory. And unsurprisingly, lots of people aren't happy about the result.

To find out more about what all this means—and why we should care—I reached out to VICE UK's political correspondent Gavin Haynes and asked him to fill us in on what went down across the pond.

VICE: First of all, can you explain what exactly was so interesting or important about last week's election? Even American reporters were paying attention to it, at least for a minute.
Gavin Haynes: What was so important was that everyone thought it was going to be so close. In terms of "closing the deficit" or "dealing with the NHS [National Health Service]" or "solving the housing crisis," it was difficult to drive a Rizla between the big three parties and their boring, risk-averse campaigns.

But the polls had been tied for months. Nothing moved. So you had a real race on, plus a bunch of fragmentary pieces in play at the same time: The rise of smaller parties like UKIP [the anti-immigration UK Independence Party] and the Greens, and Scottish Nationalists, the SNP. This meant that, with every possibility of a hung parliament, political pundits could have a field day yakking up any of the 192 possible coalitions and minority governments that could have been formed based on the fractious multi-party shitshow everyone imagined emerging.

But you ended up electing the same guy you've had since 2010. What happened?
Voting. In many constituencies, people went into booths and in pure secret, told the politicians which ones could stay. The results were so many miles from the polls that the polling companies have now launched an official inquiry.

Indeed, US hero Nate Silver—who predicted the US 2012 election down to each state—came over, and made a program with the BBC in which he attempted to predict our own polls. His prediction:

Conservatives: 281 seats
Labour: 266 seats
SNP: 52 seats
Lib Dems: 26 seats

The ultimate outcome:

Conservative: 330 seats
Labour: 232 seats
SNP: 56 seats
Lib Dems: 8 seats

It's not all to be lumped at the door of the poor pollsters though: One in four voters hadn't made up their minds right up until polling day, according to some analysts. They simply went into the booth and let God guide their hands. Turns out God is a Tory.

During the campaign, there was a lot of talk about voter disillusionment and outrage—what happens to all of that anger now? What's the mood over there?
It spills onto the streets. This weekend, there were already protests in central London, where a broad range of anti-austerity campaigners decided that the British people had made the wrong choice and should simply go back and vote again till they got it right. More of this will come if [the Conservative government is] actually going to start putting through £12 billion ($18.7 billion) of welfare cuts. I suspect Cameron will move quickly—he suddenly has a lot of political capital to burn through, so expect an angry year.

Explain the UKIP — you aren't a fan, but why? It seems like they are sort of the Tea Party of the UK, but is that the most accurate American analogy?
UKIP are essentially one man—walking 70s time-traveller Nigel Farage—and a bunch of cranks he found down the back of his sofa, but mainly just him. They represent everyone from retired colonels in the Cotswolds to delivery drivers in Dagenham, who want to protest-vote against the 21st century and who retain a rather romantic view of Britain's historic destiny as an island nation (Nazis, Empires, etc...). Until recently, they were generally considered to be a joke—loopy bearers of the sacred flame of British patriotic anti-Europeanism, fanned by tabloid tales of the EU banning "bendy bananas."

That is, until they hit upon immigration as a neat dovetailing of the EU [issue], with something people were already hot under the collar about: migration. The rise of UKIP comes down to the 2005 decision by the Blair government to allow full immigration rights and benefits to all citizens of Eastern Europe, in accordance with EU law. Blair's team predicted "a few thousand" would make the trip, but there are now over a million Poles living in the UK, and some folks ain't too happy about it. UKIP then bang on about low-skilled wages dropping and schools and hospitals filling up, and they managed to coral 26 percent of the vote at the last European elections, and 11 percent in the General Election.

Nigel already has strong links with the US Tea Party—he is buds with Rand Paul—but perhaps the best antecedent is that woman in Arizona who wanted to make immigrants wear pink jumpsuits and drag manacles behind them, Jan Brewer, I think. [Note: Gav is confusing Brewer, the former Republican governor of Arizona, with Arizona's lunatic sheriff, Joe Arpaio, although neither is a fan of immigration.]

He is an ex-stockbroker and a tweedy pint-loving libertarian who wants to return smoking to pubs and personally thinks drugs should be legal. Hilariously, they once had an official policy to return Pullman steam trains to British railways. That is the level of misty romanticism they're digging.

This year's election was seen as a proxy battle for Jim Messina and David Axelrod, two of the leading strategists of Barack Obama's presidential campaigns. Are you guys experiencing some kind of Americanization of British campaigns?
Axelrod [who worked for Labour] was derided by the press for his lack of involvement: popping over to Britain in short hops rather than sticking it out here for the duration, all while collection a stoinking (by UK election standards) £250,000 (about half a million dollars) consultancy fee.

His supposed genius does not seem to have shone through. There were many cooks in the Labour kitchen making that tepid broth, and he seems to have been just one voice, shouted out by those arguing for the disastrous "35 percent" core-vote strategy, which meant that Labour ended up seeming economically incoherent and socially chippy.

God knows what Messina did—it was Lynton Crosby, Cameron's Australian spinner, who took all the laurels. I guess much like Nate Silver, being associated with success gives you a halo effect, and failure the opposite—the contribution itself is often dependent on uncontrollable economic and cultural factors.

It's already very Americanized in the sense that there is an absolute focus on the party leaders—the idea of collegiate government, of the prime minister as chairman of the board, that a Westminster system is meant to represent barely gets a look-in.

Thankfully, though, someone who should have a gold statue dedicated to them at the foot of Big Ben took the decision many years ago to ban all TV advertising. Meaning that our politics remains largely free of money. The Tories, for instance, spent double Labour's £8 million ($12.5 million) in 2010. By contrast, in 2012, Obama spent $775 million.

The one issue that rarely came up in this election was foreign policy. But will the results have any effect on the UK's relationship to the rest of the world?
We are going to bomb the US, starting with Maine and working our way along the Eastern Seaboard until we can do unto Washington what we did in 1812, but with Trident submarines.

As for the rest of the globe, well, they have re-employed World's Most Boring Man contest winner Phillip Hammond as Foreign Secretary, so no boats will be rocked, and foreign policy will mainly come straight down from Cameron, who is a sort of timid liberal interventionist. A dovish Blairite, you might say—he wanted to act over Syria, he bombed Libya, but overall, his ideas on foreign policy are managed decline of a dwindling power. Britain's armed forces have shrunk by a quarter since the last election. They're knackered after a decade in Afghanistan and Iraq. The new world order is almost upon us with the rise of China and Russia, and even Japanese re-armament on the horizon, but Cameron's a "domestic president'" as you guys might say: He doesn't want to go haring around re-shaping the globe like Tony did.

What about with Europe? Will the UK hold a referendum on EU membership any time soon?
[Cameron] is going to be bleeding Europe through the eyeballs for the next two years. He had promised a referendum in 2017, perhaps believing that he would conveniently be able to drop that as part of his next coalition negotiations. Now, he has to follow through.

He will be going to Brussels at some point to try and get concessions for Britain on various European issues—most notably the Eastern European migration thing that has lead to the rise of UKIP. Then, whatever concessions he gets, he will have put them to the people in an in-out vote.

But getting any concessions will mean getting 27 EU countries to agree unanimously to reverse the present policies—which is going to be nigh-on impossible for the big stuff. Obviously, Cameron is playing chicken with them on this front—"Give me the concessions I want, or else I'm gonna hafta ask my friends the British public, and they ain't gonna be too happy with you..." The rest of Europe definitely wants Britain in, or else it could unravel the whole EU project, so there is at least an incentive for them to bend.

He's taking a huge gamble. If he pulls it off, it'll be a stunning coup. If not, his head will roll by the end of 2017.

The other big story that came out of the election was the overwhelming gains by the SNP. What does this mean for the union? Are we going to see the break up of the UK?
Nothing will break down in the next 20 years—but after that, yes, almost certainly. As a concession after the mind-blowing rout by the Scottish National Party (who seek complete independence), Scotland is going to be given as much autonomy as Westminster can fill its boots with. This will buy them off, but by 2035, Scotland—pursuing a Scandinavian-style economic and social destiny—will look so different to England—Tory-dominated, lean and capitalist—that the next independence vote will simply be the formal seal on what everyone can already see with their own two eyes.

Of course, if Britain leaves the EU in 2017 and it is shown the Scots voted to remain, then this could all come hurtling back towards us far sooner than we'd imagined. It's a new world as of this week. It may soon require new maps too.

Follow Grace Wyler on Twitter.

Follow Gavin Haynes on Twitter.

Outraged People Just Got 'Sexy Buses' Banned from Cardiff, Wales

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[body_image width='960' height='1280' path='images/content-images/2015/05/11/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/11/' filename='sexy-buses-banned-after-half-a-day-in-cardiff-world-apparently-not-ready-for-sexy-buses-yet-909-body-image-1431354156.jpg' id='54705']Photo via Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Who among us has never wanted to fuck a bus? Not seeing many hands. Because such is the truth, the nib of human nature: Everyone, in some little way, wants to fuck a bus. Who has not seen a bus sashay its way through some gray and miserable gridlock and thought: I really want to be in that bus? Who has not looked at a bendy bus and gone: It would be like doing it with sexy twins? The answer is "nobody." Buses... there is just something about them.

Good, then, that Cardiff's New Adventure Travel (NAT) has put topless human people on the back of their buses. The topless men and women in the ads hold up signs saying "RIDE ME ALL DAY FOR £3," a message that serves two purposes: to make us aware of the affordable new day-saver ticket tariff, and also to drive us all so wild with desire that we run behind the bus, panting with raw human sexuality, roaring erotically, howling until our loins explode.

Unless you are a person in Cardiff, that is, or Wales, or just any person with a normal sense of how sexually charged bus adverts need to be. Because after outcry on social media, at 11:30 AM on Monday, May 11 in the Year of Our Lord 2015, the bus company vowed to pull the adverts, literally hours after debuting them.

They did this after a social media campaign from tweeters such as Georgia Lubrani, who took time out from her Literature and Philosophy degree at Cardiff University to tell NAT that yo, buses don't have to be sexy. "The idea that sex sells so much that it ought to be used to sell bus tickets is just ludicrous," she told me via email. "This advert is a shocking indicator of how commonplace it is for women to be objectified and degraded in today's society. Women apparently can't even ride the bus these days without being reminded that society values them only for their function as a sexual being."

[body_image width='960' height='655' path='images/content-images/2015/05/11/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/11/' filename='sexy-buses-banned-after-half-a-day-in-cardiff-world-apparently-not-ready-for-sexy-buses-yet-909-body-image-1431354196.jpg' id='54706']Photo via Twitter

Lubrani, who was one of the key people in getting Dapper Laughs banned from performing at Cardiff University, added: "It's great that people are using social media to speak up about adverts such as this. Although they seem like small victories, hopefully we are beginning to convey the message to the media that senseless, mindless objectification is not OK."

Experts call this "doing a Protein World," a new advertising method whereby companies, for literally no reason at all, use aspirational human torsos and the vague smell of sex to sell something like a 25-minute bus journey into the city center of Cardiff, or a special powder for bodybuilders to eat. Then there is a public outcry, and the advert gets banned, but not before it's done what its creators always intended, which is to make people aware of the product. Who now is not secretly thinking of doing a full loop of the X1 route around Cardiff on a £3 travel saver? Who could not now go for a cool, smooth protein shake while taking in the sights of Canton? And thus, the advertisers have done their jobs: got inside your sweet little head, touched your memories, made you want to buy a travel saver, and a £40 tub of protein with a bad font on it. Advertisers: Even more evil than you initially thought they were.

NAT have apologized: "Firstly we have stated that our objectives have been to make catching the bus attractive to the younger generation," they said in a statement. "We therefore developed an internal advertising campaign featuring males and females to hold boards to promote the cost of our daily tickets." You know how it is, you young people. Just horny as hell, every single second of every day. No way you're getting on a bus that doesn't have some nipples on it.

"The slogan of 'ride me all day for £3,' whilst being a little tongue-in-cheek, was in no way intended to cause offense to either men or women and, if the advert has done so then we apologize unreservedly. There has certainly been no intention to objectify either men or women." Is this the first recorded instance of a bus company citing the "it was just banter" defense?

Anyway, the adverts will be pulled in the next 24 hours, proving once and for all that Britain is not yet ready for its buses to be sexy. Back to the depot with you, sexy buses: go and frolic in the bus-washing machine together, getting all sudsy, before parking yourself in a garage overnight wearing nothing but a few dabs of Chanel No. 5. The world is not ready for your particular brand of arousing practicality, but one day it will be. One day.

Follow Joel on Twitter.

A Straight Girl's Guide to Being Single and Happy

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[body_image width='685' height='454' path='images/content-images/2015/05/06/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/06/' filename='being-a-single-girl-body-image-1430912557.png' id='53289']Photo by Jason Macdonald

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

For years, the single girl has been suffering from a PR crisis, one that can be traced from Joan of Arc through Elizabeth I to the fourth series of Miranda. Sure, we've stopped being drowned as witches but, in 2015, female singledom isn't exactly dripping with cachet, is it? It's still "poor Jen," it's still Shania Twain, it's still eating a chocolate mousse with your eyes closed. In the eyes of popular culture, all of us are up Jacob's Creek without a paddle.

Thing is, being single can be great. Last night, after I'd polished off my mousse, wiped away my gin tears, and finished screaming into the darkness, I realized that your 20s are kind of the perfect time to not be in a relationship. Because now is not the time for binge watching House of Cards or wiping someone else's piss off the toilet seat. Now is the time for binge drinking in the street and falling off the back of mopeds while your bones are still supple enough to knit themselves back together.

Being single doesn't have to mean a succession of all-girls brunches where you only talk about men; or a legitimate interest in those glasses that hold an entire bottle of wine; or spending Valentine's Day alone in a Dixy Chicken, sharing a sizzler burger with your pocket mirror. Instead, it can mean having a lot of fun with your friends and never having to worry about some guy leaving his shoes piled up at the end of your bed.

Here's our guide to making the best of what's too often billed as a bad situation.

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STOP BEING IN DENIAL

The first rule is to be honest. The Domino's man knows you live alone, so stop shouting, "It's here!" back into the apartment when he rings the doorbell. You're single and that's fine; you don't need to keep justifying it to yourself or anyone else.

Other giveaways to avoid: pledging your allegiance to the "sisterhood," quoting Beyonce like she's Gloria Steinem, and saying stuff like, "Personal growth is basically impossible when you've got a boyfriend, you know?" Hear that ping? That's your fault: every time you say, "I LOVE being single," in a slightly cracked voice, somewhere in the world another cannelloni-for-one is removed from the microwave.

Your friends are lying—men aren't intimidated by you. You just haven't found the right one yet. And you're not going to find the right one by spending all your free time watching Hulu and browsing Etsy. A bar of Mast Brothers can't go down on you, so stop telling people at hen parties that you prefer it to sex. You're making everyone feel really awkward.

Get out there and have some fun. Unlike your aunts, I'm not telling you that your uterus is expiring faster than a ripe avocado; I'm telling you that, before you start fretting about becoming a warty old maid, you might want to remember that contraceptives exist for a reason: so we can meet people in nightclubs, have sex with those people, and then slip away when we spot their jarred collection of navel fluff, all without the fear that their progeny might be growing inside us. Which brings us to...

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CASUAL SEX

One of the joys of being a single straight gal is that it's really quite likely that anyone you want to fuck will want to fuck you back. This means you are free to revel in a veritable buffet of dick. But be warned, ladies: at any great buffet there will still always be something festering at the back that nobody else has touched for a reason, like warm taramasalata. Whatever you do, do not put one of those warm taramasalata dicks in your mouth.

The first absolute cardinal rule of fucking around is to just accept it if it turns out you suck at casual sex. If being a slag makes you feel weird or sad, don't power on through, unless you want to end each night trying not to sob too audibly in the arms of a sleeping stranger.

Once you've made it this far, the next step is to find a semi-consistent casual sex partner. It's advisable to pick someone wildly inappropriate and breathtakingly thick. Think friends' exes, part-time DJs, Australians. Remember it's a given that these people will all have horrible bedrooms full of MDF furniture and mattresses with no sheets. It will be the interiors equivalent of having sex in the corner of an empty bag of Funyuns.

While in the bathroom, emergency-shaving with your roommate's razor, have a quiet little word with yourself. Ask yourself this: am I going to have an orgasm tonight? If you don't think you are, you should send him home immediately, because you are ruining feminism for everyone with your terrible, conciliatory, orgasm-less sex.

WATCH: Our recent documentary 'The Luxury Item' about the tax on tampons:


THE DATING 'SCENE'

The words alone send shivers up your spine, don't they? Unfortunately, there is absolutely no cool way to declare yourself "casually dating." The fact of the matter is that you're just going to have to start flinging handfuls of shit at the wall and hope some of it misses the fan. Most people you go on blind dates with will be boring or have one off-putting quality that couldn't possibly be captured in a profile picture, like a tippy-toes walk or a really earnest enthusiasm for acupuncture.

As far as dating apps go, don't bother trying to be ironic and aloof. Tinder is like cocaine: everyone pretends to hate it, yet uses it compulsively every weekend. Drop the act. Don't crop out your arms. He's going to have to see your arms eventually. And don't put up a profile picture of you in a group. Nothing screams "Do not date me!" like being the indeterminate one in a picture of six girls.

READ: A Girl's Guide to Not Being a Dick This Summer

Once things actually start to go right, you might find that getting off with loads of people all the time can be quite admin-intensive. Take a breather with the help of some good old nourishing flirting. Other people's dads are a really harmless bet. Or people whose actual job it is to flirt with you, like street fundraisers, Apple geniuses, and Pret staff. Be careful how far you take this, though: I don't care how well you "gelled" on the way home, it is never acceptable to sleep with your Uber driver.

[body_image width='621' height='414' path='images/content-images/2015/04/30/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/04/30/' filename='being-a-single-girl-body-image-1430410818.png' id='51690']Photo by Tom Jonhson

PEOPLE IN COUPLES

Any deviation from watching Netflix and gorging themselves into a pair of gray evening joggers is considered radical for the couples in your life. Their appetite for adventure has been all but lost to conversations about house plants.

So when a long-term couple invite you to what sounds like a promising event, don't be naïve: remember that people in couples are fucking liars. They can't help that their interests are diametrically opposed to the interests of your vagina.

Sometimes couples will pass the time by trying to set you up with any single people they can get their hands on. People in couples want you tucked up in bed. They certainly don't want to stay up and watch your jaw swing from side to side as the sun rises over a row of warehouses. They want to go home and have the kind of easy, spoon-y sex you don't even have to brush your teeth for. Then they want you to do the same so they don't have to be "worried about you."

Mind you, everyone knows that "worried about you" is code for "I'm miserable in my relationship." And who's going to have to pick up the pieces when their boyfriend finds someone else to do his white wash? You are.

GET THE RIGHT KIND OF FRIENDS

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"Best friends" are great. They're really good for hauling sofas up the stairs and listening to your shit and telling you when you've got snot in your hair. However, when you're trying to get laid, they're hopeless. Your best friend's been in a relationship for five years. Her hatchback is pretty much parked in the double garage of life. Your promise of "a party back at Dave's" isn't really doing much for her.

No, what you really need are night-out friends. The sort of disturbingly enthusiastic, secretly very competitive girls who wear body glitter and flowers in their hair. Someone who you fundamentally hate, but who'll split a gram with you and whose hand you'll find yourself cheerfully holding at a festival. Smother yourself in her body glitter, flirt with her attractive male friends, and get your goddamn bellybutton out, woman, before it's too late for a crop-top.

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This is an alliance of sheer convenience. It doesn't matter that you don't have anything to talk about as long as you're up for doing peace signs in her human pyramid selfies. The best news is your shitty new friends don't really like you either, which is perfect because they're not going to give two hoots when you ditch them at 11:30 to head back to your place with a man who may or may not have just been playing the bongos.

LOVE THYSELF

Also, while you're single, it's your god-given right to love yourself to kingdom cum. Lord knows it's taken you enough time to admit you do it, so enjoy it now that the time is here. I'm paraphrasing here, but I'm pretty certain there's something in the Bible along the lines of: you can't love your neighbor until you love yourself. Or rather, love yourself so you can adequately instruct your neighbour how to love you more tenderly. (Just so everyone is clear, we're talking about masturbation now.)

A lot of the orgasms in your single life are so fabulously low-octane it's quite hard to remember what all the fuss is about. In this serene landscape you're much more likely to strum yourself to sleep like a sylph than hit the high notes with your face pressed into the headboard. But don't let things go. Don't allow your masturbatory relations to become so pedestrian that, in fact, you sometimes fall asleep during, only to wake up having an argument with yourself about how things aren't as passionate as they used to be.

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That said, don't be that girl—the one who takes things too far. No one else wants to hear about your experience with yourself. Your dildo might be throbbing with more veins than a Vodka Revs doorman, and it very well may have cost more than your NutriBullet, but don't become unhealthily attached to your vibrating friend. Don't give it a name and start introducing it into conversation like it's a party guest, not least because that's going to ruin human dicks for you forever. Oh, and don't wash and dry it using a communal tea towel, 'cause that's just rude.

SPENDING TIME ALONE IS FUN

You're probably pretty chuffed with your own company by this point—or, at the very least, you should be. Think about it: there's no one you have more in common with than yourself. You're great. You're the best. You're really good at courgetti and your hair has bounce. You're just so you.

Carpe-your-single-diem, girlfriend, because before you know it you'll be obliged to listen to someone else's dreams, check their moles, and endure their tickly cough all night. You are doomed to meet someone and fall so dully in love that you spend the next five years saving up for a mortgage deposit together. One day someone will ask you what your weekend plans are and they mostly involve doing inventive new things with a $25 chorizo you bought from a farmer's market. And not even sex things: paella things.

There's so much more to life than waking up to the smell of the same scalp every day. Your energy to try new, exciting, weird, beautiful things is a precious commodity that will fade away with time, so it's up to you to spend it well while it lasts. Think of it like winning the lottery, but instead of winning actual money, you won a finite supply of youth, beauty, and moxie. Now you have a handle on that blunt analogy: spend that paper before your family tells you to do something sensible with it. Keep buying H&M playsuits even though you never learn. Wake up miles from home with an adult male who still likes skateboarding. Sincerely say the word "totes." Go blonde for a bit to ~see the world through the eyes of another~. Flirt with old men at high-class bars so they buy you fancy cocktails. Get gonorrhoea. Eat mousse. Do both at the same time. You can do what you want, because you're young and you're single and the only real responsibility you have is paying the contract up on that iPhone you cracked. Go out there and play fuckabout before you're trapped in the purgatory of a joint bank account forever.

Follow Lucy on Twitter.

The Patron Saint of Mexico’s Drug War Is Making Inroads in Canada

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Santa Muerte, face of the fastest-growing religious cult in the world. Photo via Flickr user Michele M. F.

Cindy remembers the first time she saw Santa Muerte: the skeletal figure, better known as the patron saint of the drug war raging in Mexico, was tattooed on her boyfriend's back.

Santa Muerte had kept him safe from violence in his hometown of Monterrey, he told her, and ultimately helped him come to Canada, he believed. The tattoo was a gesture of his gratitude.

Though skeptical at first, Cindy found herself turning to Santa Muerte in her own personal time of need.

"I was in a really dark place for a while," said Cindy, a 32-year-old Toronto healthcare worker who asked that her last name not be used for fear that exposure could affect her professional life. "I lost my job and couldn't find anything else. I was depressed, I didn't know what to do. I was desperate for the momentum to turn my life around."

Cindy considers herself part of a nascent community of non-Latino devotees in Canada who are drawn to Santa Muerte, otherwise known as Saint Death or Our Lady of the Holy Death. She's heard of public shrines in Montreal, although her own worshipping has been in the privacy of her own home, before votive candles purchased in Toronto's Kensington Market.

Santa Muerte, who is also worshipped by the poor and disenfranchised, has as many as 12 million devotees and her cult is the fastest growing in the world. When I came across my first shrine to Santa Muerte in Mexico City earlier this year, I was surprised that there were also non-Latinos there to offer prayers and light votive candles for the eerie skeleton-saint clad in a bride's dress and seated in a bed of flowers, figurines and candles.

But Andrew Chesnut, a professor of religious studies at Virginia Commonwealth University and author of Devoted to Death: Santa Muerte, the Skeleton Saint, the first English-language book about the saint, has been able to trace Santa Muerte's cult as far as Australia. He wasn't surprised when I brought up non-Latino worshippers.

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An image of Santa Muerte on a garbage can. Photo via Flickr user Brian Hillegas

"One of the great new trends that have come out is her growth in the US among African-Americans and Euro-Americans," said Chesnut.

He noted that about 90 percent of them are white Americans who hail from places like Ohio, Tennessee and Georgia, who don't speak Spanish, and who have never been to Mexico or had much contact with Latino culture.

"Part of it is that she's kind of hip and cool, but she also has this reputation of being extremely efficacious and potent in delivering on petitions, prayers, and miracles that folks are asking for so I think that's really important," said Chesnut, adding that Santa Muerte is more than a narco-saint.

"She's a multi-tasker," he said. "She's a huge love sorcerer and also a curandera, a folk healer."

Curious to understand how these new worshippers first become acquainted with the skeleton saint, I spoke to Steven Bragg, the first non-Latino devotee to set up a public shrine in New Orleans—the New Orleans Chapel of Santisima Muerte.

Bragg was displaced by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. He took up residence near Boston in Massachusetts where he met Nick Arnoldi, a man who had lived in Mexico and became familiar with the worship of Holy Death.

"He started sharing his teachings with me and started piecing things together and things got bigger and bigger," said Bragg. "She did some large favours for me, so I decided to repay her by building a shrine outside my house, which is a common thing you do in Mexico when any of the saints do something for you, to let the public know."

Three years ago he started holding monthly services inside his house, attracting between 15 to 20 devotees.

"The chapel services are typically non-Latino but a lot of the people that bring offerings to the outside shrine are Latino," said Bragg.

He said that people that are attracted to his service mostly hear about it through word of mouth. One common thread amongst everyone is that they are all interested in alternative spirituality, though there are a few that come from traditional denominations and view Santa Muerte as just another saint.

Derrik Chinn, a writer and schoolteacher who has lived in Tijuana for the past eight years, was surprised by the growing trend, though he noted that many aspects of Mexican culture are slowly being appropriated north of the border.

"The trend behind it is people getting frustrated by the lack of connection to spirituality and wanting something real to believe in. Death is certain, the afterlife might not be," said Chinn. "It is a universal notion, the idea of worshiping Saint Death because it's something we have in common. It's the only thing we all have in common because we all will die."

Chinn worried that some people may just be attracted to the dark glamour of the skeleton saint.

"She's creepy and kind of dark. I wonder if people are getting the right message," said Chinn.

For Cindy, who was not raised to adhere to a particular religion by a Catholic mother and an Anglican father, the ritual of praying to Santa Muerte has helped her focus. Her first experience was private, in her own home.

"I lit a candle and prayed to her the way I assumed you're supposed to pray to a saint," said Cindy.

"It worked. I was desperate for it to," she said. "I know it may just be coincidental, I'm cognizant of that and of how crazy this sounds, but I believe in her anyway. I've felt it on my own skin. After I started doing this little ritual I became way more grounded and focused. I managed to go back to school and got into the profession I'm in now."

Follow Maria Vanta on Twitter.

I Spent 12 Hours Listening to Drone on National Drone Day and Now I'm Mostly A Cloud

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I'm standing in the Polish Combatants' Hall in Toronto watching four people stand at the cardinal directions around a glowing cylinder spinning circles on a turntable. The witchy girls who made the installation art and who look like characters from The Craft have disappeared. Eventually, everyone from the light-gazers to the curiously mixed audience milling about the room to the collection of musicians on stage—either soundchecking, jamming, or performing practiced compositions, who can say?—is enveloped by a fog machine with a zealous operator. It's late on National Drone Day and I can't tell where the sound ends and the slow-moving rainbow mirk begins.

Last spring, Canada celebrated the first National Drone Day, a brand new concept that even European experimental-heads have to bow down to in respect. This year the holiday honouring music's most underappreciated, slow moving minimalist genre returned on a larger scale, with events in all provinces and territories (territories!) and locales including Yellowknife, Winnipeg, Sudbury, Cape Breton, and yes, even several cities in Alberta.

Marie LeBlanc Flanagan of music blog and distro Weird Canada launched the (still unofficial—hey Stephen Harper, aren't you adrone enthusiast?) holiday in 2014, frustrated by something most of us have forgotten our angst about in the age of (amazing) "25 Cats Who Just Can't Believe It's Christmas" listicles: the empty consumerism inherent to Canada's traditional annual celebrations.

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Drone Day aims to "celebrate a moment, to stake out a moment in the passage of our lives and give it meaning," which is perhaps a nice way of saying, "let the freaks have their day." The holiday is a chance for non-commercial and fringe musicians across Canada to connect on a national stage, even if that stage is more or less an Instagram tag.

In 2014 Toronto was home to three Drone Day events, including a set by Egyptrixx. This year, even with some false starts (a massive secret outdoor show got stamped out due to paranoia about the fuzz or something), Toronto again put together by far the biggest lineup: five shows between 1 PM and 1 AM at venues including a DIY art space, a Polish legion, a record shop, and a guerrilla street corner set-up. I went to all of them in search of the true meaning of drone. And possibly a spine realignment.

I started celebrating on Saturday in true #dronelife spirit: hunched over alone in my apartment, finishing and uploading a 25 minute drone track that almost no one will ever listen to, the Valley of the Dolls soundtrack as it would be heard in or at a swimming pool. (For what it's worth, I DJ the only drone show on Toronto internet radio station TRP. It's pretty funny.)

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Toronto's afternoon programming at DIY venue Ratio was put together by The AMBIENT PING. If you run in any avant circles, you know the type: old guard experimenters who start their shows on time and will never for the life of them figure out how to make a proper flyer in Photoshop. The venue had floor pillows, though, so I started my public droning there with an hour of duo dreamSTATE (overtly sincere titles abound in this scene).

The set was a mix of soothing space sounds and bubbling, reverb-laden video game effects—sometimes drone is a rocket lift-off on psychedelics launching from a field of daisies hidden in a crevasse on a haunted mountain; sometimes drone is a vision into the combination of bad taste and ample free time. As the 60-minute set wavered between the two, I attempted to get more inside my body: stretching out my legs and thinking disparaging thoughts about my posture as supported by various medical and therapeutic professionals. I wondered if, like EDM rave workouts, live drone yoga is a thing.

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As the two men on stage pedal-gazed in front of live projections on a sheet that completely obliterated the gorgeous afternoon sun, my unmeditative thoughts echoed complaints about the previous year's Drone Day—namely, brones, a.k.a. bro-nes, a.k.a. producers of beardgaze, the largely male chin stroking subset of drone that threatens the genre's potential from within (brones cannot gaze past their beards to their navels; even if brones don't have beards, they're stroking something). In the audience at Ratio, women were easily outnumbered 5-1.

Brones mean well, but coat their attempts at building cultural meaning with a sickly earnestness that reeks of long hours logged in solitary basements surrounded by too much gear and supported, I would assume, by message boards based in similar troll caverns. An artist with a tenacious ego can work, especially if they have a shade of self awareness, but it fails when the music sounds this ridiculous. Drone Day's appeal is as much as a comedic concept as a counter-cultural milestone, but here I mostly had to amuse myself. Female vocal samples rose in the mix and I fantasized that Married in Berdichev was to follow.

One early-day positive: mid-set, I resolved to pursue regular meditation as path through which to achieve a straighter spine. It was a Drone Day breakthrough. I later learned a friend had had the same line of thinking.

Back in the sunshine, my holiday picked up. At record shop LP's LP for the IRL incarnation of Drone Day's funniest Facebook invite—"If you'd like to contribute to the drone, please bring your refrigerator"—where Melissa J (Processor) and Jess Forrest (Castle If) were droning together for six hours.

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The duo at the pedals, synths, and cash register controlled a sound that built and changed so slowly it was just perceptible enough to captivate—in this setting, anyway. As they sold records and chatted together, the event demonstrated how environmental drone can be. In the sunlit shop, the layered sound was allowed to drift unobtrusively, highlighting the craft as an underrated art form. I stayed longer than I'd intended, browsing rare vinyl I couldn't afford, charmed by the beauty of the music.

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Outside the U of T Bookstore, Toronto's only guerrilla Drone Day event was just as gorgeous: a man droning on drums while yelling and moaning, challenging the widely held convention within the genre that percussion must be avoided much as globe-spanning legends Magical Unicellular Music do, while passers-by snapped Instagrams and climbed trees, inspired by solo weirdo klnr's free-spirited DIY approach and the silliness of his BDSM inspired mouth-gag microphone. Droners lounged on the pavement or in the grass. I felt free. This was my Drone Day: a black clad tribute to the ridiculous. Afterward, showing no interest in any evening event, klnr packed his gear onto a bike trailer and pedaled home.

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Drone Day evening was a blur of fog, beard-themed (!) and seizure-inducing art installations, and hours of solo and group broning (at one point at the Polish Combatants' Hall—where, thankfully, women were not only in attendance, but involved in the art exhibits—I did see a woman playing a wind instrument on stage, but I never said women couldn't brone).

These psychedelic visual installations at the Combatants' Hall supplemented the standard live gear-gaze + projections formula most drone shows rely heavily on. I'd guess it's like this: mainstream exposure to drone music is limited to haunting movie montages and documentaries about outer space. Thus, to make drone more palatable, musicians come armed with ready-made or live projections. But I'm suspicious of this drive to make the genre familiar and consumable.

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Born of organic audial matter rather than imposed structure, drone is an environmental form of music: it soaks up the atmosphere rather than creating one. It pulls us toward what we are; it is both the shroud and the shroud lifting. What I didn't find in Toronto was a collective search for what drone, or a noncommercial, outsider art holiday, could achieve.

Three-fifths of the shows featured rhythmless music rigidly followed traditional live-show organizational structures—(a gig with a giant, glowing, bearded head is still a gig). All shows were PWYC or free, but LeBlanc Flanagan's concept was not a stand on art economics but a question of what we want to be: an exploration of the beauty and ridiculousness of nature. There's almost nothing funnier than a holiday called "Drone Day," and that's why I love it.

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I ended the night in the Tranzac's tiny street-facing bar, where music from the nostalgic indie party in the main hall thudded like the pulse of the status quo through the walls as live projections of gelatinous liquid moved slowly on screen. I thought about the universe: its mysterious humour; how strange we are.

In the pause following the final applause, someone began singing along to a track the DJ was pumping next door, inciting the first laughter I'd heard all Drone Day. "Thank you for listening to our sculptures," smiled the MC in a way that I could almost allow myself, delirious with BPM-less sound as I was, to believe was tongue in cheek. "Happy Drone Day." As I stumbled home some drunk kids on College Street asked me if I wanted to join a slapping circle, and I was too spaced out to flaunt my jagged aluminum knuckle ring at them and say "always." Either peace or exhaustion was on my side.

Even my weirdest pals were alarmed by my stoic commitment to Drone Day, but like Agent Mulder, ever attuned to the organic, free wielding rumblings of space, I want to believe. The day would have turned many into quivering wrecks with perpetual swimmer's ear, but I've done my time touring with ambient noise projects and listening to every Natural Snow Buildingsrelease (kidding, no one has, but I try). The day, though predictably marred by brones, passed well and easily.

On Drone Day I got to split a slice of pizza with my favourite lo-fi throat singing metal vocalist, Doom Tickler, and even prolific Inyrdisk Records recluse Kevin Hainey left the house to celebrate. The Instagram tag will attest that Drone Day is bringing Canada's underground weirdos together in brave new ways, beigey beardgazers and reckless dreamers alike. May it, like the mysteries of the universe, live on endlessly to tease us with the wonders of oblivion. (PS, I'm so fucking jealous of Winnipeg's Drone Day gig. Fuck you, Winnipeg.)

Follow Kristel Jax on Twitter.

VICE Premiere: VICE Exclusive: Listen to Invisible Things' Ethereal Noise Rock

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Invisible Things is a Brooklyn/Chicago-based duo consisting of Mark Shippy, formerly of US Maple, on guitar, and Jim Sykes of Parts & Labor on drums. They make noisy post-punk music, sometimes straying into early no wave territory. This song, "Four Figures," is off their upcoming LP, Time as One Axis, coming soon via New Atlantis Records. It's textured and bleak, drums lapsing occasionally into militaristic beats, before the entire song transitions into a 60s psychedelic dreamscape drone spectacular.

Listen to more Invisible Things on Bandcamp and preorder their new record here.


Number of Police Officers Killed While on Duty Nearly Doubles in 2014

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Number of Police Officers Killed While on Duty Nearly Doubles in 2014

How the Internet Forever Changed Starting Your Own Country

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How the Internet Forever Changed Starting Your Own Country

Mime Over Chatter: Berlin’s Silent Answer to Drunk and Annoying Tourists

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All photos by Alexander Coggin.

When it comes to tourism, Berlin's got growing pains. Last summer, one of the enemies was rolling suitcases. The proposed antidote? A code of conduct for the 12 million tourists who visit annually—including proper trash disposal and rubber wheels for all that baggage clattering over the German capital's charming cobblestone streets.

That didn't go over well, as numerous German publications ridiculed the idea while other Berliners took to social media to lambast it ("Justice for the rolling suitcase!" mocked David Hugendick in Zeit Magazin).

This year, one of Berlin's boroughs is testing out a different approach: mimes. White-faced, white-clad street performers will patrol some of the noisier party miles in Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg and, with their wordless élan, campaign against noise and litter. The neighborhood the mimes are descending on, Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg, is especially in need of some peace and quiet. A 2014 poll by the tourism office found that every third person in the borough feels bothered by visitors.

Berlin isn't the first city to use mimes for this purpose: Barcelona ran a program for 14 years, and Paris has dozens of civility-promoting mimes on the streets. Here, the pilot project—running on weekend nights through the middle of July—is the result of a study comparing how 21 different European cities handle party-hardy tourists. The project was a collaborative effort by the Visit Berlin tourism association, the Association of Hotels and Restaurants, and various club owners.

"We wanted to do this in a Berlin way," says Lutz Leichsenring, a spokesman with Berlin's Clubcommission, a nightlife network here. "We were looking for a charming, sympathetic, and above all performative way to raise people's awareness."

"Charming" was a big buzzword at the project launch last Friday. Dozens of journalists—from the Tagesspiegel, Berliner Zeitung, and local TV stations—had been summoned to an outdoor press conference. There was free beer and bagel sandwiches. Questions about costs were answered brusquely—at the press conference two months ago, it was already made clear the project runs about 100,000 euros.

Eventually the five mimes emerged, dancing to a tinny techno rendition of "Ode to Joy." Their faces were painted white, a bit of blue flair around their eyes or lips, different than the classic black-and-white look of Parisian mimes. Rather than bang on invisible glass cages, they pouted at imaginary boom boxes and yawned dramatically. When posed questions, the mimes answered with enthusiastic thumbs-ups.

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We followed the mimes onto Friedrichshain's Simon-Dach Straße, a top destination for drunken balladeering and public disposal of bodily fluids. Several of the journalists, enjoying Germany's lack of open-container laws, brought their pilsners to-go. The mimes quickly descended on the restaurants' outdoor tables, where they pretended to steal cocktails and bottles of peppermint schnapps, dangled mini disco balls (real ones), and shone flashlights (also real) in faces. The mimes fluffed pillows—again, real, and pocket-sized—and snuggled against a stranger's shoulder. They hammed for the camera and appeared aghast at cigarette butts and gum wrappers on the sidewalk. Some diners were eager to return their hugs and high fives. Others had grimaces to match the mimes'.

When crowds gathered—and they quickly did, in part because of the TV cameras—a mediator hopped in to explain the project and dispense flyers. The project has five mimes and seven trained mediators (they speak a total of four languages), who'll normally head out in groups of four from 10 PM to 4 AM. On Friday, the response from passersby ranged from mild amusement to skepticism.

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"For that night, it could have an influence," said Laura Treviño, a Mexican living in Friedrichshain. "It's friendly. But most of the people here are just tourists, and they're gone after a week."

We followed the cheers farther down the street, where a British bachelor party—the groom-to-be wore a body-hugging black mini dress—had tumbled out of a Hundertwasser-themed restaurant. Edward Day, who has lived in Berlin for two years, thought residents should realize noise is inevitable. "If you walk down Simon-Dach-Straße, you can see that every other place is a bar," he told me. "People should check out the area before they move in. It's like getting a house on a floodplain."

And, he added, "If people are drunk, they're not going to be reasonable."

According to project coordinator Malena Medam, "Totally drunk people are not our target audience."

"We won't go into conflict situations," she said. "That's not our purpose. Same goes for totally drunk people. They're no longer reachable and must be handled through other measures."

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Which explains why the mimes tiptoed right past a group of belligerent guys in line at an ATM. Medam says success won't necessarily be measured by noise reduction. Instead, organizers will see how many flyers have been distributed, how many clicks the website has received, and how many Facebook likes they've racked up (current tally: 65).

"In one way it's about attracting an audience who wants to take photos and selfies with the mimes and talk about it," spokesman Leichsenring said over the phone. "The other thing is for the mimes to create a social pressure for the visitors to act appropriately."

Related: Immigrants Are Walking Hundreds of Miles from Greece to Germany

Sven Klaus sipped a beer outside a Späti, one of Berlin's ubiquitous late-night convenience stores. Klaus, a computer scientist, used to live in the area. "I understand the anger from people who lived here before the terror took off," he said. But, like Day, he had less sympathy for people who've moved to the neighborhood more recently. He is also unconvinced about the mimes' theatrics.

"I see that it's trying to get people's attention," Klaus said, "but I don't think it has any special connection to the neighborhood. It feels artificial and too highly organized. They shouldn't make such an event out of it."

The next evening, I returned to Simon-Dach-Straße. I spotted the mimes—just two tonight, joined by two mediators and Medam—outside a cafe. It was 2:15 AM, and they had already called a cab. A few partygoers continued to weave down the street, bottles in hand.

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"The interactions tonight were deeper, more personal and more playful," Medam explained. "Lots of people had seen us in the news."

"It went well," one of the mimes agreed.

"You're speaking!" I said.

He nodded and gave a weary smile. "Quitting time," he said.

Rebecca Jacobson is a writer living in Berlin. Follow her on Twitter.

See more of Alexander's photos on his website here.

Comics: Grozary

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Look at Alexander Robnyn's Tumblr.

VICE Vs Video Games: What I’ve Learned from Being a Live-Action Video Game

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This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

There are 400 people screaming, "YOU DIE! YOU DIE! YOU DIE!" It's entirely your fault. And to make matters worse, directly in front of you, a poorly lit Australian man is laughing.

Hello, I'm John Robertson. I'm a live-action video game. Which I will now explain but, if your attitude to long reads is a quick skip to the comments to post "tl:dr," well, I hope that when you die someone says the very same thing about your life.

Anyway, over the last couple of years I've realized just how many popular video games mollycoddle their players by handing out charity where challenge should be. A great many AAA titles simply follow the same routine: pop-up text boxes tell you what to do, even when you're fairly certain you've got the hang of everything; whole stretches of gameplay are reduced to on-screen button prompts (the dreaded quick-time events); and, if you're doing badly, the game may even ask if you want to skip a section entirely.

That last one is horrible. L.A. Noire will let you skip a car chase if you don't appear to be doing well. Who skips a car chase? The new Mortal Kombat lets you buy fatalities, which nobody should be able to do without a lot of money and good connections with the Russian mob.

Watching big-budget games take shortcuts with the player really sickens me. If you've the money, skill, and team to model, say, a colossal interactive city, don't you have the ability to make the player learn by doing? Pop-up notifications reduce otherwise great games to "press A to win." Achievements give you nothing but the satisfaction of ticking things off a list. If that's what you enjoy, try cleaning your room. (On topic, does anyone care about pointless collectibles?)

What happens to young gamers who've never known anything but this strange mixture of cheap encouragement and self-playing games? Do they know they're being spoon-fed crap? Is crap delicious?

My response was to become a game. Being a "live-action video game" isn't some depressing bullshit about the futility of existence; it's literally what I do for a job. (And if you really think life's a game, I'd suggest it's Grand Theft Auto, only the police are slightly less likely to murder you for breathing in their personal space.)

I worry I've made The Indiest Indie Game of All Time. My distribution strategy is, 'Look, I've turned up.' My graphics are the worst, because they're just my face.

Since 2012, I've been performing a live show called The Dark Room. It's a multiplayer text adventure starring a floating head that wants to destroy you. It's a choose-your-own-adventure that breaks your brain. Options are projected onto a screen, and The Floating Head is me, holding a light and screaming abuse into your dumb, little face.

Players try to escape, but I stop them through a combination of logic and the kind of insults my high school PE teacher used to mistake for encouragement. Succeed and you'll win £1,000 [$1,500]. Fail, and YOU DIE.

It's hard, unforgiving, funny, and you can only play it in theaters where I'm performing. It's a video game you can only play if I'm there and you want to play it. I worry that this means I've made The Indiest Indie Game of All Time. I must have. My distribution strategy is, "Look, I've turned up." I'm so retro, I'm alive! My graphics are the worst, because they're just my face! I'm the greatest AI in history, because there's no "A" involved!

(Just quickly, on graphics: why are all these indie games so blocky? There seems to be a weird idea that 8-bit visuals automatically denote character and charm—but they don't, because sometimes they just turn your screen into a convincing simulation of glaucoma. Many times I've asked myself, "Are these the graphics, or has cataracts finally arrived?")

And what this weird little show of mine does to the brains of modern gamers is fascinating. Some rise to the occasion, while some just start begging.

Last year, I streamed The Dark Room over Twitch for about 250,000 people. (I appreciate that a live-action Skyrim was tried on Twitch recently, but a bunch of disembodied voices telling a man with cardboard weapons what to do isn't a video game, it's someone having a psychotic episode at a LARP.) They laughed, wailed, wept, and voted on what paths to take. Some tried to insult me back, but couldn't, as I only accept criticism in the following way: you write me a letter, I respond, we meet for a cup of tea, you give me your opinion, I fling my tea into your groin, and through this we learn that, one, tea is very hot and two, shut up.

Related: The Mystical Universe of Magic: The Gathering:

Some folks found the game exceptionally hard, and didn't understand why it, or any game, should be that way. Why shouldn't they be able to win immediately? Where were the achievements? How can anyone know they're doing well unless a notification appears, like a spam email offering to enlarge your ego? (God, that makes me angry. Why should a game congratulate you for playing it? Shouldn't it be well designed enough that if you're playing well, you feel good?)

Still, other players banded together in a huge group and started mapping their way through The Dark Room—and they got scarily close to winning. The game they'd chosen to play was difficult and a mystery, and they loved that.

This interested me. I'd conceived The Dark Room as a parody of 1980s text adventures, but it's become something else. If you fuse primitive games and stand-up, it turns out you get to go on a fun journey. Well, it's either that, or my players have Stockholm syndrome. (Hell, if it worked for Christian Grey, it can work for me.) Steadily, I've come to realize that my show illustrates that gaming tropes we assumed were standard have all but disappeared from the mainstream.

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The author presenting 'Videogame Nation.'

The Dark Room has a timer, through which I learned that there is a generation of gamers who've never played in a public space, where screen time is limited. Arcades, kids! Remember those? Ask your parents. Some players attempt to wait out the time limit, mistaking this as a kind of victory. Don't they understand that other people are queuing up to play Street Fighter II? Nope. Also, what's Street Fighter II?

Death is virtually gone from gaming, outside of select series. We may not be able to find a cure for cancer, but every game protagonist is immortal and respawns in a convenient place. I did one show where a little boy was told: "You awake to find yourself in a dark room." Four options appeared on the screen: "WHY?," "FIND LIGHT SWITCH," "SLEEP," and "GO NORTH." I asked the kid, "What do you want?" "Context," he said.

God bless that kid. The game's set in a dark room, there were four options on the screen relating to that—and he made his own fun. We're an inventive bunch, sometimes.

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The author in the playable-online version of 'The Dark Room,' still via YouTube.

My life as a live-action video game, mixed with sadomasochism and disguised as comedy, has resulted in some memorable discoveries, which I think all of gaming can learn from. For one thing, you definitely don't need a well-known IP behind your title, or fantastic graphics, to entertain a huge bunch of gamers. Also, players can function beautifully without having a game act like their nanny, and those who can't will one day learn there's nothing so impotent as someone who types "RAGEQUIT" into a chat box. And then there's cunning—large groups of people can get together to do this really well, even if they do sometimes pick the wrong option and die, and something-something-UK-general-election-something. You get what I'm saying.

But this one kid, he definitely didn't. By the time he'd reached his turn in The Dark Room, I'd already heard him use the word "swag" in conversation. The Floating Head addressed him, as he does all comers: "WHAT WILL YOU DO?"

"FIND LIGHT SWITCH," replied the kid, to be met with: "HOW WILL YOU FIND THE LIGHT SWITCH? YOU'RE IN A DARK ROOM." He made some of those noises teenagers make when their brains are loading. Five minutes later, he was dead—in the game, of course. He was grumpy. The whole room was chanting: "YOU DIE! YOU DIE! YOU DIE!"

"Bullshit!" he shouted. "I respawn! I get another go." "No," said The Floating Head. "YOLO." Then he got it.

John Robertson is a stand-up comic and host of Challenge's Videogame Nation. The Dark Room is being performed as part of the Udderbelly Festival, at London's Southbank Centre, on May 15—details here.

Follow John on Twitter.

George Zimmerman Was Involved in Another Shooting Monday

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George Zimmerman. Photo via Seminole County Sheriff's Office

George Zimmerman is seemingly incapable of staying out of trouble. On Monday afternoon, he was involved in a shooting in Lake Mary, Florida—just one of many run-ins the former neighborhood watchman's had with police since being acquitted in the 2012 shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

Details about Zimmerman's latest brush with the law are scant. Although initial reports said that he was shot in the head, Zimmerman's attorney, Don West, says it's more likely he was cut from a broken car window and has already been released from the hospital. For now, all we know for sure is that someone shot into Zimmerman's vehicle and that the injury seems to have been relatively minor.

"He walked normally into the ambulance, so he wasn't being helped or nothing," witness Ricardo Berrare told WESH Channel 2. "They actually backed up the ambulance next to his driver side so he could walk into the door."

One would think this guy might try and keep a low profile after becoming a national villain three years ago. Not so. In fact, Zimmerman made headlines only a couple weeks after his initial acquittal in July 2013 when he was pulled over 20 miles east of Dallas for aimlessly speeding (and found with a gun in his glove compartment box).

At the time, a representative from Zimmerman's legal team expressed consternation that people cared about a traffic stop. (He's been pulled over in at least two other traffic incidents since, according to the Associated Press.) But the tucked-away gun foreshadowed a string of bizarre events, often involving weapons. For instance, four months later, Zimmerman was arrested for aggregated battery after his girlfriend called 9-1-1 on him.

"He's in my house, breaking all my shit because I asked him to leave," Samantha Scheibe told the dispatcher. "He's got a freaking gun breaking all my stuff right now." (She later asked that the charges be dropped, and Zimmerman denied wrongdoing.)

In December 2013, Zimmerman made headlines by selling a painting on Ebay for more than $100,000. This verified that pretty much anything Zimmerman does —criminal or otherwise—is going to be a story for the rest of this guy's life.

Last September, he was involved in a road rage incident in which he allegedly told a driver, "Do you know who I am? I'll fucking kill you." (The Associated Press is reporting that the shooting Monday involved the same man—Matthew Apperson—that he addressed in that incident, and cited a police spokesperson saying Zimmerman was not the shooter.) Then came a repeat performance of Zimmerman's scuffle with his girlfriend this January, when she said he threw a wine bottle before recanting the claim.

Two months ago, an Orlando law firm interviewed Zimmerman about his involvement in the death that made him famous in the first place. He used the platform to blast President Obama for igniting racial tensions by inviting the Martin-Fulton family to the White House and asking them to reflect upon the fact that "all children's lives matter."

"Unfortunately for the president, I'm also my parents' child, and my life matters as well," Zimmerman said. "And for him to make incendiary comments as he did and direct the Department of Justice to pursue a baseless prosecution, he by far overstretched, overreached, and even broke the law in certain aspects to where you have an innocent American being prosecuted by the federal government, which should never happen."

Follow Allie Conti on Twitter.

Women in Uganda Can't Use Toilets Without Fear of Disease or Rape

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Municipal workers clearing a trench filled with sewage in Nankulabye slum in Kampala. The faces of the workers are obscured to protect their privacy. Photo by Katie Moore

Mary Businge was in the doctor's seat, diagnosing a patient, when the municipal workers arrived. They were in a foul mood as they rolled up their sleeves and descended into a trench filled with sewage. The trench, stretching across the Nankulabye slum in Uganda's capital city Kampala, was where the slum's roughly 40,000 residents dropped their waste: discarded cans, torn shoes, playing cards, cigarette butts, documents, sanitary napkins, and bags containing feces.

When it rained, the acrid water rose like a breathing thing, and so the city government sent their workers to empty the trench. On their last visit, the workers, who went in ankle-deep equipped only with gumboots, latex gloves, and shovels, had found a fetus wrapped in a polythene bag.

Businge, a 52-year-old nurse who runs her medical practice from a room across the trench, wondered how long it would take for the trench to fill up. About a week, she estimated. There were not enough toilets in the slum—each was shared by between ten and 50 people—and they were poorly maintained. If you had a school or office, you could wait to use the toilet there. But if you had to stay home and you were a woman, it was often easier to use a plastic bag at home and fling it into the trench. "We are falling sick every day," she said in Luganda. "But we are embarrassed to talk about these diseases we get from the toilets. We are ashamed."

"We are suffering quietly, but we are suffering a lot." –Businge

Women contribute critically to the success of sanitation programs worldwide, noted a study conducted by Sanitation and Hygiene Applied Research for Equity, consortium of five NGOs and academic institutions. "But the consideration of women and sanitation cannot focus solely on what women can do for sanitation," the report said. "It must also consider what inadequate sanitation is doing to them."

Businge diagnosed women from a table cluttered with diaries, a matchbox, a spatula, scissors, aspirin, a roll of bandage, and antibiotics. She could treat the physical discomforts, but had no cure for the anxieties her patients were tormented by: what would their husbands think, what did this disease say about them and their sexual practices, how shameful it was to contract a disease down there. "Hygiene is the only way to fight disease," she said. "But if they have a disease, they should not hide it because it can get bad. Even if they are scared their husbands will think they are unfaithful."

Each week, Businge, who trained at Nsambya Hospital, treats between eight and ten women with abdominal pain, malodorous discharge, itching, and vomiting, symptoms of urinary tract infections, and candidiasis, which she said came from exposure to pit latrines covered in feces, urine, and vomit. Sometimes they even come with intestinal and respiratory infections. The consultation costs 10,000 Ugandan shillings, or $3, less than the fee for a hospital visit. Over the past year, she has repeatedly treated herself for candidiasis, which she suspected she got from using a pit latrine she and her daughter share with at least 15 other families. "We are suffering quietly, but we are suffering a lot," she said.

In Uganda, only 19 percent of the population has access to improved sanitation (meaning a toilet that is not shared and has a mechanism that separates waste from human contact) according to the latest Demographic and Health Survey conducted by the Uganda Bureau of Statistics in 2011. The researchers from Sanitation and Hygiene Applied Research for Equity interviewed 32 women across three slums in Kampala, and found a "firm link between a lack of access to adequate sanitation and women's experiences of humiliation and violence." They mapped five trends—inadequate number of toilets, risk to safety, a deep sense of shame associated with lack of privacy, inadequate sanitation as a burden that fell largely on women, and a pervasive feeling of helplessness. "When an individual is deprived of their right to sanitation, they can also be deprived of their right to dignity, privacy, and safety," the report said.

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A block of improved pit latrines, where the toilet floor is tiled so that fluid drains into a hole in the ground, in Nankulabye. Photo by Katie Moore

Fatimah Nagawa, 18, will not use the communal toilet unless someone accompanies her. She will wait, or use a bucket at home, she said. In Wankulukuku, a slum on the boundaries of an industrial zone with about 16,000 residents, "There are many dangers," she said. "I feel harassed, I feel I will be attacked. Funny boys come there, they ask who is inside, and then they start to say stupid things like, 'What are you doing?' 'Can I come inside?' 'I love you,' 'I want to take your body.'"

Nagawa's mother was away through the day working for a tailor, designating her to care of her siblings Kasim, 12, Matridah, nine, and Zaharah, six. A year ago, a friend Nagawa had gone to school with said she had been raped inside a toilet here, and she had disappeared with her family almost overnight. "She could not stay here anymore," Nagawa said. "I think about where she is and I worry about my sisters."

Next door, Aminah Namujju, 36, was drying clothes on the floor in her home because it had been drizzling outside. Four-year-old Suleyman, her fifth child, was standing behind a curtain, calling out to his mother and hiding. Namujju said she could name at least ten women who said they had been assaulted in communal toilets in this slum. She did not know where they were now. "It is dangerous but when you have to go, you have to go," she said.

Namujju, like many in the slum, did not own rights to the land she lived on. She viewed building a toilet here as a pointless expense. "And it is a slumply area so whether you have your own toilet or not, it will overflow in the rains," she said.

Namujju, who ran a poultry business, lost her husband, a driver, two years ago. She now lives with her seven children. "It is embarrassing to go the hospital and say I am itchy down there even though I don't have a husband. They will wonder, 'How did you get it?'"

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Two pit latrines and a bathing unit in Nankulabye slum. Photo by Katie Moore

According to a 2012 study conducted by a team of six researchers, academics, and NGO workers from Kampala and Zurich, 78 percent of the people they talked to from 1,500 slum households shared a toilet with an average of six households. Of those, about 10 percent shared a toilet with up to 100 households. The researchers photographed 1,500 communal latrines and rated them for cleanliness, observing that 20 percent of them had considerable amount of solid material (paper, excrements, construction materials), big puddles, and liquids on the toilet, making it "difficult to use the toilet without getting dirty."

Grace Apiro was polishing her shoes at the threshold of her home in Kifumbira, a slum in northern Kampala, getting ready to leave for work. Someone had vomited in the communal toilet here the night before and she hadn't been able to step inside. "Only at times, they wash the toilet," she said. "When you go, there is no water inside, you have to pinch your nose."

Each visit to the toilet here cost 100 shillings, or 30 cents. Part of that money was supposed to go the janitor, an overworked man with pale skin and hooded eyes, who earned 50,000 Ugandan shillings, less than $17, every month to clean four toilets with only a broom, water, and disinfectant. But there were several days when he was too sick from cleaning the toilets.

"When it rains, the toilets overflow and we get fevers. When they fill up, cockroaches enter our houses and make us sick." –Evlin Kafero

The Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA), the city government, was committed to improving sanitation in slums, having constructed about 15 toilets in informal settlements since 2012, Jude Zziwa, a spokesperson, said in an email interview. Community toilets in slums across the city's five divisions were emptied at a subsidized fee, garbage was collected for free, and drainage channels were cleaned, she said. "KCCA provides free toilet services at 18 places in the city (taxi parks, busy streets, and markets). The target population for this service is the transient population, part of whom come from the informal settlements," she added.

During Sanitation Week, which took place between March 12 and 18 this year, over 100 toilets were emptied across selected slums. "About 393,000 liters of fecal sludge were delivered. All the fecal sludge was from informal settlements," according to Zziwa. But maintenance of community toilets was the responsibility of committees nominated within slums, she said; the KCCA could only provide technical support.

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A toilet for rent in Kifumbira slum, which costs 100 Ugandan Shillings (three cents) to use. Photo by Katie Moore

Evlin Kafero, a midwife and the secretary of a women's group in Kifumbira, said there were gaps between policy and practice. Committees existed, but she said the burden to keep toilets clean fell on women like her. "If you hire a maid and you come back home to find she hasn't done her work, would you refuse to do it yourself because it is not your job?" she asked. "You will, because it is a hazard to you and your family. When it rains, the toilets overflow and we get fevers. When they fill up, cockroaches enter our houses and make us sick."

Kafero, who spoke in a soft, low voice, was sitting outside a grocery shop. This is where she had wanted to hold meetings to educate women about how to prevent diseases by soaking underclothes in salted hot water, buying underwear with cotton lining, ironing them before use, where to dispose sanitary napkins, how to clean a toilet. But getting women to come out when they could be working was tiresome. "They don't bother attending. They say it's a waste of time, it's too far, they are [too] tired to walk, they have become lazy. They don't think it is important," she said. And when she landed up at doorsteps, women who worried that her health campaign would turn into their husbands suspecting infidelity turned her away. "The mentality is not good," she said.

Betty Nyangoma, 25, was taking a lunch break from her job as the cook of a sidewalk restaurant selling beans and rice in Kifumbira. The problem with women, she said, was that they did not think about themselves. They suffered from diseases but did not do enough to alleviate their condition. "They think about everyone but themselves," she said. "They have their own thinking."

Nyangoma lived with her aunt and her four-year-old son, Jonathan in this slum, sharing a toilet with five other families. She had a diploma in hotel management but had been so far unable to get a job. "For me, I need my own toilet but if I don't have money, of course I don't have an option. Right now I have to focus on starting a new business, I have to think about my family and my son," she said. "But when I have money, I will have my own house and I will build my own toilet. That is my thinking."

Reporting for this story was made possible by the International Women's Media Foundation's African Great Lakes Reporting Initiative.

Follow Mansi Choksi on Twitter.


PC Music’s Pop Cube Launch Was a Bizarro Fun House of Branded Content

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PC Music’s Pop Cube Launch Was a Bizarro Fun House of Branded Content

The Ecotourism Industry Is Saving Tanzania’s Animals and Threatening Its Indigenous People

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Photos and video by Noah Friedman-Rudovsky

Before he was shot, on July 9, 2014, Olunjai Timan slaughtered a cow and his wife made stew. Not wanting to miss the fresh meal, the wiry Maasai herder sent two of his sons to graze the family's cattle on their own. But before Timan could finish eating, the boys came racing back. They had mistakenly wandered onto the adjacent property, a 12,000-acre tract operated by the Boston-based ecotourism outfitter Thomson Safaris.

This, the boys knew, was a no-no, because the company prohibits grazing on the property during the tourist high season. Thomson's guards had descended on them, the boys said, and scattered the herd. Unable to round up the cows themselves, the boys returned for help.

Timan, annoyed, put down his food. The father of seven grabbed his spear and went out in search of his herd. It took him an hour to find his cattle, which were still on the wrong side of the invisible line dividing his village in Tanzania's northwestern Loliondo District from the company's land. He said that he was steering them home when a vehicle appeared with two Thomson guards and two local policemen inside. This did not surprise him—Thomson guards are unarmed, and locals say they are quick to call in police backup when trespassers are found. According to Timan, the men got out of the SUV. Then he heard a voice say, "Shoot! Shoot!" One of the men fired a gun, sending a bullet through the herder's right thigh.

He tried to run but could only walk. Residents in the local bomas (homesteads) later reported hearing his screams. On cell phones, one of the few modern inventions Maasai in this area have embraced, neighbors alerted one another. Soon other policemen showed up and escorted him to an ambulance.

While Timan was being treated, crowds amassed. Several hundred young Maasai men with drooping earlobes assembled, armed with spears and gasoline. "They wanted to burn Thomson's campsite to the ground," recalled Joshua Makko, the chairman of Timan's village, Mondorosi, referring to the property's luxury tent complex, where tourists pay $535 a night for an all-inclusive safari package. The incident was only the second alleged shooting of a villager to have been carried out by police called in by Thomson, but residents of Mondorosi and neighboring villages say that, for the past nine years, Thomson guards and police acting on their behalf have regularly harassed and assaulted Maasai who graze cattle on the property—accusations that Thomson Safaris denies. In Maasai culture, land is king and cows are wealth, power, and respect. For a few hours, it looked like this incident would set the region aflame.

Move over the black and white image to play the video. Move the cursor away to pause:

Maanda Ngoitiko speaks with a local woman in a typical Maasai home in the Loliondo region.

The contested land is a tan and green plateau in a valley surrounded on all sides by Maasai villages where men have more than one wife and homes are held together by cow dung. The disputed property's open pasture, seasonal rivers, and high water table had made it prized grazing and watering space for the region's pastoralists for decades. But in 2006, the owners of Thomson Safaris, an American couple named Rick Thomson and Judi Wineland, paid $1.2 million for the property's lease under the name of their Tanzanian-registered company, Tanzania Conservation Ltd.—leasing it because Tanzania, a nominally socialist state, does not allow foreigners to own property, only extended land titles. It turned out that what made the area great for grazing also meant it had potential as a tourist hot spot. It was set on the doorstep of Serengeti National Park, and human encroachment had driven away what had once been a rich wildlife population, including giraffe, wildebeest, and big cats. Thomson and Wineland were enticed by the challenge of bringing the animals back.

Their first step was to put "limits on grazing for the health of the environment, to control overgrazing," Daniel Yamat, a Maasai man who is the outfitter's project manager of the disputed territory, told me. The tract is Thomson Safaris' Eastern Serengeti Reserve site, which the company nicknamed "Enashiva," a Maasai word for "happiness." Thomson Safaris let it be known that grazing was prohibited during much of the year, particularly during tourist high seasons—which happened to be when most grazing there occurred.

Some residents in the area obeyed. Many did not. "This is a matter of survival," Makko said. His ancestors once roamed what's now the Serengeti, but his parents' generation was forced to move to Loliondo when the National Park was established in the 1950s, prohibiting anyone from living inside its perimeter. According to Makko, tourist development and droughts, made more intense by the effects of climate change, have left his village and their neighbors with few viable options for their herds. The Thomson land was the best, and only, reasonable option.


Olunjai Timan shows the bullet wound he says he suffered at the hands of policemen accompanying Thomson Safaris' guards.

Villagers' willful trespass drew consequences: frequent dispersal or temporary confiscation of herds by Thomson guards, beatings and arrests, prolonged detention in the local jail, and two shootings to date, according to locals' testimony. Residents speaking out against Thomson Safaris were routinely called in for police questioning. Journalists and aid workers who went to Loliondo to investigate started getting kicked out by local authorities. In 2009 and again in 2011, the UN Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination ordered the Tanzanian government to look into human-rights-abuse allegations on the property, but the requests went nowhere. Rumors of a conspiracy between Thomson Safaris and the Tanzanian government began to circulate. In 2008, a New Zealand reporter was murdered under suspicious circumstances, shortly after investigating the company's operations in Loliondo.

Over this same period of time, the international reputation of Thomson Safaris, a sister company of the couple's long-established Thomson Family Adventures, soared. The outfitter and its trips have won almost a dozen recent awards and accolades, including a citation in the National Geographic Best Adventure Travel Companies on Earth list, Condé Nast Traveler's World Savers Award, Outside magazine's Active Travel Award, and for Wineland, Thomson Safaris' director, a lifetime-achievement award from the Adventure Travel Trade Association.

The company's website includes a promotional video for Enashiva that's difficult to reconcile with the stories coming from the ground. Smiling Maasai dance and sing; they give thanks for the community projects—including building classrooms and a medical dispensary—that the company has enabled. Rare public statements by Wineland and other company officials regarding the abuse allegations present a counternarrative: The so-called conflict is entirely fabricated. A small group of Maasai are the aggressors. The company, they say, is the victim.

A Maasai man walks out of his home. The Maasai have a few modern conveniences such as cell phones, but for the most part they live as they have for centuries.

The conflict, a five-month VICE investigation shows, continues to rage and is emblematic of a much larger problem faced by indigenous groups around the world: For more than a century, the Maasai have been corralled into smaller and smaller pieces of land in order to conserve the environment and precious animals—and to make room for deluxe suites and armies of tourists. The developed world has largely cheered these efforts. Ecotourism has offered a new vision of how Westerners could interact with land and people.

But the Maasai of Loliondo are not alone in disputing these supposed benefits. Worldwide, 8 million square miles—a landmass almost as large as the entire African continent—have been classified as protected areas by governments and conservation groups. In turn, the locals have mostly been pushed off their lands. Though no one formally counts people displaced for the sake of environmental preservation, data from the UN and the International Union for the Conservation of Nature on park footprints and population density estimate that the total number of removed people could be near 20 million.

These are our world's conservation refugees—from the Dominican Republic to Kenya, Bolivia to Brazil. They are the Batwa of Uganda, who were forced out of their native forests when they were falsely accused of killing silverback gorillas. Many are now squatters without access to water or sanitation, living on the edge of parks that protect the great apes. They are the Hmong of northern Thailand, who were plunged into food shortage when the government, under pressure from the UN's Global Environment Facility, created a national park system. This presaged the arrival of men with guns, giving them no option but to give up their way of life.

The forces arrayed against conservation refugees are the ostensible good guys: environmental NGOs and eco-businesses wishing to build a friendlier, greener world. But the dangers of this advance have, for indigenous groups, even begun to rival those posed by the operations of big agriculture and mining and oil exploration. In a 2004 meeting of the United Nations' International Forum on Indigenous Mapping, all 200 delegates signed a declaration stating that the "activities of conservation organizations now represent the single biggest threat to the integrity of indigenous lands."

Loliondo elder Tulito Olemguriem Lemgume, who has gray hair and milky eyes, remembers the day he realized his people's place among elite conservationists' priorities. In 2006, his boma was just inside the property newly titled to Thomson Safaris. According to Lemgume, local authorities told him and a handful of neighbors that "the land now belonged to an investor and we could no longer live there. We told them we have nowhere to go. We said, 'This is our place. This is our home.'" So the police arrived with gasoline, he said. The bomas went up in flames. Then "[the police] shot at us," Lemgume recalled. "It's like we were the animals and they were chasing us away."

An interview with Tulito Oleguriem Legume.


A lion prowls near a tourist jeep on a private safari on the edge of the Serengeti. Some tour operators, like &Beyond, have achieved peaceful coexistence with their Maasai neighbors by allowing the land to remain in community hands, while others, like Thomson Safaris, are accused of running the Maasai off their land.

The roots of the current conflict date back to when the Maasai themselves were the displacers. The tribe emigrated from the Nile Valley in the 15th century and trampled or pushed aside the indigenous groups in their path. By the end of the 1700s they were dominating large swaths of present-day Kenya and Tanzania. They rarely hunted, and while they have farmed for centuries, their agricultural footprint has always been minimal. The grazing of their herds of cattle followed a rhythm, never diminishing any pasture to the point of ruin, and leaving enough for the native wildlife that shared the plains. Their disinterest in most material goods and permanent structures kept the natural spaces they inhabited intact. The Maasai's presence in the heart of East Africa was, for centuries, part of a stable relationship with the surrounding environment.

A Maasai boy separates younger goats from their mothers in a traditional corral.

But they took up a lot of space. For pastoralists, there is no need more fundamental than sufficient land to feed their animals—cows and, recently, sheep and goats—which function both as an economic foundation and as a social system (in crude terms, the Maasai with more cows have more power). But by the beginning of the 20th century, British colonial leaders in Kenya and Tanzania wanted to make their dominions more productive, so they started giving away their land to settlers and farmers. Midcentury, under pressure from international conservationists, the British saw the potential economic benefit of making Tanzania's stunning landscape a set of official protected areas, the majority of which fell under the feet of the Maasai. Later, after independence in 1964, Tanzanian leaders set aside one third of the country's land for conservation (a goal achieved recently) and embarked on decades of deregulation to facilitate private investment in the tourism industry.

The Maasai were given a choice: relocate to government-supported reserves within a distant region called Ngorongoro Crater or settle wherever else they wanted—as long as it was outside the parks. What was then the sparsely populated area of Loliondo, which borders Kenya, was the easiest option. Quickly, Loliondo became a sea of red shukas, or traditional Maasai garments, and today it has more than 60,000 Maasai inhabitants, 90 percent of whom rely on pastoralism for their survival.

As the Maasai were forced onto ever-shrinking territories, their new closeness to the modern world of hospitals and schools, and their entrance into the cash economy, transformed the living conditions of the group. Over just a few decades, the average Maasai life-span increased several years while maternal and infant mortality plunged. Their population went from 40,000 in Kenya and Tanzania at the turn of the 20th century to close to 700,000 in Tanzania alone today.

All of those people needed ample land for their cows to survive—the one thing the Maasai, and the country, no longer had. And so a solution was found: The Maasai had to change. The group's old practices, once heralded as environmentally symbiotic, were now deemed "overgrazing." By maintaining large herds of cattle, they were putting themselves, the wildlife, and their country in danger, officials said. Schools in Maasai areas started developing environmental-sustainability curricula. Public education campaigns underlined the need for smaller herds. NGOs introduced new breeds that give more cuts of beef per head.

Tourism was also touted as the best way for Maasai to benefit economically from the land without "harming" it any longer. They could sell handicrafts and charge for tours through their homes or for performing traditional dances. In Loliondo, tour companies arrived in the early 1990s with their own objective of luring zebras, rhinos, and lions back to the areas where pastoralists had once lived. The region had appeal for developers because by setting up just outside the Serengeti there was access to wildlife populations—which don't respect park boundaries—but with lower fees and fewer bureaucratic hassles than operating in the park would have entailed. The Ortello Business Corporation (OBC), an ostentatious Dubai-based outfitter that flies in Arab royalty to hunt and kill rare cats for pleasure, was apportioned vast "hunting blocks," giving the company the right to conduct its expeditions throughout virtually the entire Loliondo territory.

A little while later, Wineland and Thomson read a newspaper ad for a plot of land with a title for sale. They were enticed not only by the possibility of reestablishing wildlife populations but also by the property's proximity to the Maasai themselves. Pioneers in the global-adventure-travel business, the couple had been specializing in "community-based tourism" for decades in more than a dozen countries. Rather than attracting business with exotic animals, Wineland said, they had always placed "pictures of people on the front cover of [our] brochures." They had done some charitable work in other Maasai areas of Tanzania and were excited to bring their business model to Loliondo.

For Wineland and Thomson, making their business benefit the local Maasai was a prime objective. "We believe in a symbiotic relationship," Wineland has said. "Tourism has to benefit us, our guests, the wildlife, and the communities." They hoped this land would be the newest jewel in the company's emerging ecotourism empire, "a beautiful thing for us and our mission."


Thomson Safaris and other tour companies perform charitable work in the region, donating schools, hospitals, and wells to the Maasai.

In December, I went to Loliondo to try to understand what exactly had gone wrong. How had the people behind a seemingly well-meaning company found themselves entangled in a conflict that included claims of harassment of indigenous people, shootings, and whispers of government conspiracy and murder? I hoped that the investigation would reveal a broader truth about growing conflicts between indigenous groups and the conservation and experiential-tourism movements worldwide.

Before arriving, I had gotten a lot of warnings—from fellow journalists, from international activists, from researchers, all of whom had gotten kicked out of the area for poking their nose into the land issue. It wasn't just the Thomson case. OBC, the largest tour operator in the area, had been under fire for years for land grabbing and political corruption. Maasai resistance and foreign attention helped to thwart a bill that would have turned 40,000 square miles of Maasai land into a protected "wildlife migration corridor," with the company as its new lease holder. But just before my arrival, Tanzania's parliament was trying to press the legislation again, and the region was heating up. I was told to steer clear of the highest local government authority, the district commissioner, who is said to go to any length to make his area friendly to investors.

Still, on my first morning in Loliondo, ten hours from the nearest sizable city, I didn't expect to conduct my first interview in a ditch. My interviewee, an aging, panicked priest from Sukenya village named Olushipa Rogey, led our car far from the road and then walked me to where the sandy soil had caved in—so that even a herder passing by would have to fall in to see us.

Rogey wore a faded pinstripe suit that seemed older than the man himself. His watch, which didn't work, hung from his wrist by a string. He traced his finger along a deep scar that went from his nose down through his lip. "This is because of what I was saying about Thomson," he told me. Sukenya, a broad swath of arid soil and thickets of cacti, butts up against Thomson Safaris' land. Rogey was one of the first villagers to question the company's restricted-grazing policy. He started holding secret meetings to strategize a response and was publicly threatened by the company's manager, he said—a big deal in Maasai culture, where respect and politeness are of the utmost importance. Soon after, he said, he was attacked on a road walking home from church. It was the sort of violent personal assault that's rare in rural areas, so he and others are convinced it was a warning from the company. Thomson Safaris was never formally linked to the crime.

Though Rogey seemed sincere, I was skeptical. The police deemed it a robbery (his wallet had been stolen). The department is friendly with the company; according to Thomson Safaris, officers are sometimes stationed at the campsite to protect tourists against wild animals and are called in for backup for any safety issue, but I had no evidence of outright collusion. Was this what all the supposed abuse was like? I didn't understand his nerves or the hideout, and I wouldn't until days later. He only said that as Thomson has increased its charitable spending, winning over many of his neighbors, he's now treated as a local pariah and didn't want to be seen with me. Before we parted, he told me several times to be careful—that the government and the outfitter have informants everywhere.

After speaking with Rogey, I spent the afternoon at the compound of Shagwa Ndekerei, a charismatic man with, he said, 100 cows, two wives, and 11 kids, tallying the last number on his fingers.

His boma, in Sukenya, sits on a rise. His backyard has a breathtaking view of rolling pasture and forest in which he takes no delight. "That's the Thomson land," he said, sitting down next to me. (The campsite was not visible but remains standing; village elders calmed the mob in July after Timan's shooting.) Then he explained the history. The land was collectively owned by villagers until 1984, when the state brewing company, Tanzania Breweries Ltd., or TBL, was given the right to the acreage. To transfer the title, it was required to get the permission of the adjacent villages. Locals say that the government and the company lied about receiving their permission. Residents were outraged and even brought a legal challenge, but the case was thrown out on a technicality.


Shagwa Ndekerei's son gazes at him in their boma.

By all accounts, the sale was a terrible idea. The land wasn't particularly fertile, and animals, wild and domestic, snacked on the hops and barley that did manage to sprout. The company farmed about 700 acres for a few years, before abandoning the area entirely. Importantly, the company never forbade grazing. Most locals forgot the title had even been lost.

That changed in 2006, when the since-privatized TBL put their lease up for sale. Ndekerei said they heard rumors that it would be bought by a tour company and believed that, as is custom and law, villagers would be consulted on the idea. But neither of the owners of Thomson Safaris visited the area to speak with residents before the sale. The deal was sealed, the outfitter's owners acquired title to the land, and the trouble began.

Ndekerei's sons were arrested a few years ago, while grazing on Thomson Safaris' land. Police records and villager testimony reveal more than 60 alleged incidents like this, and there are rumors that on several occasions people have been held for days without food. I discovered after my trip that the company has a ten-page "Grazing Policy" that explains when and where grazing may or may not be allowed, depending on a bewildering array of factors, but it is an internal document, not distributed to local residents. Many times, Ndekerei told me, he'd had his herd scattered or had his cows "arrested," which, he said, means the guards drove the herd into their own corral to hold them for a while. Over the course of the next few days, I'd hear dozens of similar stories. Later, I would meet lawyers for the Maasai who have a list of more than 80 incidents of arrests or physical assault by the guards or police, many of which have some sort of corroborating document, such as a hospital report. Lawyers said that since victims didn't know to ask for paperwork and because, when it was given, keeping official documents for posterity is not a Maasai custom, the real numbers are likely much higher.

Ndekerei was at pains to tell me that he wasn't opposed to change. The key to the Maasai's survival, he said, is to take what they want from their new proximity to the modern world and leave aside what is not needed. All his kids, for example, at the age of four, had one incisor tooth removed to enable feeding through a straw if he or she ever passes out from hunger. But his sons also attend school, and Ndekerei takes them to the hospital when they are sick.

"The problem is not tourism," Ndekerei said to me. "That can be OK. Sure, let women sell jewelry to foreigners. Build a school. The problem is when others make decisions without including us. If someone comes to your land and there is no conversation and they didn't get the land in the right way, that man cannot fit into your society. It's not right that they decide what is right for everyone."

Later, I met a teenage boy named Tajewu Nayoi as his family led their sheep and goats out of their corral. Dressed in a yellow fleece against the highland chill, he told me about what happened to him one morning in May 2011. He and his cousin Tobiko, 11 and 13 at the time, knew they weren't supposed to go onto Thomson Safaris' land. But, he said, "the cows led us there. They are used to it and like grazing there." It was easier to let the herd lead than fight them on it, so they entered the prohibited territory.


Olushipa Rogey says he suffered scars on his face and neck after a violent attack years ago that he attributes to his activism against Thomson Safaris.

After they had been grazing for a while, he said, a Thomson Safaris security vehicle approached. They tried to run, but the car caught them. One man came toward Nayoi, he said, and began hitting him with a blunt object. The other men scattered the cows. He said he remembered hearing the guard saying something like: "You are not allowed to drive your cows and graze here! It is an investor's land, and we are protecting it!"

After a few blows, the boys said, they managed to run and hide in the forest. Nayoi's arm was swollen and throbbing. Tobiko's head was bleeding. They stayed in the forest until they felt certain the guards were gone and then ran back to their homestead.

Nayoi's sentences were barely more than a few words each. He had frozen entirely in front of our video camera, so we quickly put it aside. Even still, he fidgeted and looked down, occasionally touching his arm, which, he said, still hurts when he lifts anything heavy. His older brother, Robert, explained to me that ever since the accident, the boy has talked less in general and is constantly nervous. He'd been spooked by our arrival too. From a distance, we were white faces in a white SUV. He thought we were "Thomson people" coming to get him.

"We are victims of our own conservation," Maanda Ngoitiko told me on a different day. Ngoitiko is the founder of Pastoral Women's Council (PWC), a Maasai women's organization that provides scholarships for girls and organizes women's rights groups nationwide. But the arrival of tourist operators in Loliondo has pulled her into the land struggle. PWC was the main force behind last year's victory against OBC's expansion, and Ngoitiko plays a key role in organizing efforts against Thomson Safaris. In turn, company representatives blame her for the conflict in the area—claiming she cries "land grab!" only to raise PWC's profile and secure funding from liberal white donors.

"I have been accused repeatedly and very strongly by Thomson Safaris and the government of fueling the conflict," she told me. "Sincerely, this is my home. This is where my father is buried. This is my life. I also have an obligation to fight for this land and see justice. Whether Thomson Safaris gives billions and billions [of dollars] to this area, we want the land back. They have been told that many times, and they never want to understand."

An interview with Maanda Ngoitiko.

As Maasai herders continued to complain about harassment, Ngoitiko teamed up with her fellow villagers to strategize a response: a new lawsuit challenging Thomson Safaris' title purchase. In 2010, three villages adjacent to the Enashiva property filed a case arguing that the land's former titleholder, TBL, the state brewing company, abandoned the property so long ago that it legally reverted to village land long before the sale to the safari outfitter. Since Maasai villagers had not been consulted regarding the sale, this would make the 2006 transaction invalid under Tanzanian law. The trial began in Tanzania's High Court at the end of last year and will resume on May 11.


Maanda Ngoitiko is a Maasai woman who runs the NGO Pastoral Women's Council, which seeks to empower women in Maasai communities.

For days I'd been circling Enashiva from afar. The open pasture and forest was visible from the houses of almost everyone I'd met. (I'd visited during the off-season, so there were no guests at the property.) From certain angles, the sun reflected off the campsite's roofs.

I had no idea whether I'd be let onto Thomson Safaris' property, given their reported hostility toward journalists. But the company's general manager in Arusha set up a visit when I requested one on short notice. So there I was, several days into my stay in Loliondo, in the lounge of Enashiva Nature Refuge, sinking into a faux-leather chair and staring at a giant black-and-white close-up photo of a lion couple snuggling, gazing softly into the distance. A yoga mat stuck out from below a sofa.

A lion prowls on a private safari near the Serengeti. The attraction of Safaris outside of national parks is that tourists can get closer to the animals by driving off roads and taking nighttime walking trips.

Across from me, Daniel Yamat, the longtime project manager at Enashiva, leaned back on the red-and-black checkered couch. "We [humans] are selfish," he began. "We think the space is for us. But what about the animals?" When Thomson Safaris first got the property, "you could barely see gazelle or zebra," he said. Within three years, a family of 36 giraffe were regulars, and now—close to a decade into the company's land tenure—visitors regularly spy wildebeest, giraffe, zebra, wild dogs, and even the occasional leopard and cheetah. Yamat said that guests are able to enjoy the animals without the crowds found inside Serengeti National Park and can even do walking tours instead of just peering from their vehicles. Enashiva, he said, is about "seeking the art of coexistence, where we conserve the animals and humans' existence doesn't jeopardize that."

Guests also come to Enashiva to enjoy a "real authentic Maasai experience," he said. In other parts of the country tourists visit bomas, but "a lot of that is staged. Here, you go and find what's happening," he said.

Yamat touted the company's charitable work in the area and told me that Thomson Safaris strives to be a good neighbor and local business. The staff is almost entirely Maasai, and the company uses its vehicles as ambulances when villagers need a ride to the hospital. He mentioned several times that were it not for Thomson Safaris offering unrestricted grazing on their land during a drought in 2009, the loss of cattle in the area would have been greater than it already was.

He also said that part of the company's vision is to "prepare them to be able to be better," continuing to refer to his own ethnic group in the third person. He explained that for a family to meet its own needs, it only needs 7.5 cows per person, down from 15 a few years ago. "The way forward is to go to school and have medical treatment," he said, and to improve their lives in other ways, like utilizing the development and infrastructure that tourism companies bring. It hasn't been an easy sell. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," he said.


Daniel Yamat, right, is the longtime project manager for Thomson Safaris at its disputed Enashiva lodge. Yamat is Maasai and says his people must modernize and leave behind much of their pastoral customs.

When it comes to grazing, Yamat said that every day there are herders on the land, and most of the time they continue unbothered, especially since the company's eight scouts can't possibly oversee all 12,000-plus acres. When they do find herders, they are "politely asked" to move their cows off the property, and most herders, he said, readily comply. As for the "cattle arrests" I'd been hearing about, really what happens is that sometimes scouts come across a herd with no owner, he said, and so the Thomson employees hold the cows for "safekeeping" until the owner comes to pick them up.

As for arrests of herders themselves, and accusations of violence by police, he blamed Maasai herders who respond aggressively to the scouts' diplomacy. Yamat showed me a picture of a Thomson Safaris guard bloodied and bandaged from a June 2014 incident with a grazer on the property. "Whoever has been arrested by police, it is not because they were grazing," he said. "It is because they were coming to attack us."

The claim that locals are sometimes the aggressors was corroborated by others later. "They came to hurt us," said a young man I'll call Leroy, whom I met in Arusha and who worked for Thomson Safaris as ground staff at Enashiva and their other Tanzanian properties for almost a decade. (He quit several months before we met.) The only bad incidents he witnessed between grazers and the company were when the villagers came looking for a fight, like in February 2014, when a group came to the campsite "armed with bows and arrows and threatening us" (there were no guests at the time). The guards called the police, and the group dispersed after officers fired shots into the air, Leroy said.

Yamat offered two reasons for why he believed his company was being victimized by a small group of locals. The first was old clan tensions, difficult for outsiders to perceive. Because Thomson Safaris had disrupted the long-standing order of things by creating jobs and doing charitable work for all local clans, the groups that used to have more power made up stories about the company in retribution.

The second reason was Maanda Ngoitiko, the women's rights activist, who's become an object of obsession for Thomson Safaris and its backers. "Just look at this," Yamat said, handing me two pieces of paper. The pages were printouts from PWC's own website, their 2011 and 2012 funding sources. He explained that if I dug deeper I'd see that Ngoitiko was inventing a conflict with Thomson Safaris to enrich herself and build her international profile. Also, he said, she was taking money from a rival tour operator to boot Thomson Safaris from the land. He insisted that what Thomson Safaris had planned for me for the rest of the day would help me see the light about her and this entire fictitious conflict.

"Everything we do is out of very good intentions," Yamat said. "We end up with undesirable consequences."


A Maasai warrior takes his cattle back to their corral at sunset.

I left Enashiva, following Yamat's vehicle in my car, feeling good. I hadn't yet been arrested like other reporters and was on my way to getting Thomson Safaris' side of the story. Then, halfway back to Sukenya, Yamat's car stopped in an open field as scores of Maasai were appearing on the horizon, closing in around us. The company had, without my knowing, organized a giant community meeting for me to hear directly from locals on the matter. Yamat didn't stay—"so that you can see this is impartial"—and instead handed us off to a village chairman named William Alias, who would make sure we had "anything we needed."

Under the sparse shade of leafless trees, I stood between a giant group of men on one side and an equally large contingent of women on the other. I introduced myself and my photographer and translator and opened the floor for people to speak their mind on Thomson Safaris, tourism, development, and Maasai life in the 21st century. I asked those speaking to alternate between men and women.

The first to rise was a man named Gabriel Olikilie. "NGOs are a cancer on our society!" he said, referring to PWC and other local NGOs that have joined the campaign against Thomson Safaris. He then launched into a ten-minute tirade in impeccable English. "Writing a lot of Facebook blah, blah, blah, terrorizing investors to stop assistance to help the poor people. We need them! America, we need investors! Europe, we need investors!" he railed. "We have to use our own land to benefit. We cannot stay forever like this—with ignorance and poverty. The NGOs are blocking us from developing." After he was done, he tried to sit down. I reminded him he ought to say it all again, in Maasai, so that everyone else could understand. He begrudgingly obliged.

Gabriel Olikile addresses a tense community meeting organized by Thomson officials, with calls for the Maasai to modernize and to reject local NGOs.

One man rose in objection and said the meeting was a fraud. Only certain people, those who would speak highly of the company, had been told about the meeting, he claimed. Still, I listened intently to almost three hours of short personal testimony about the good Thomson Safaris has done in the community. "They use their vehicles to drive us to the hospital," one man said, after the disgruntled critic sat. "They have built us schools and are trying to improve our lives," a woman added. Several women said they were grateful for the added income they got from selling beadwork to tourists.

After the meeting, my translator and I approached several people requesting one-on-one interviews for the next day. Then exhausted—I was almost five months pregnant at the time—I needed to rest. I told Alias, the chief who'd been organizing the event, that we'd have to postpone our prearranged visits to Thomson-funded projects until the following day. He also seemed to think I had an obligation to interview him; I said I would, but that I'd do it at the end of the day, after speaking with others. He insisted we visit just one school that was on our way, and I agreed. We followed his car out, but when we discovered he was leading us in the opposite direction from the guesthouse where I was staying, we told him we were turning around. He wasn't happy.

The next morning, I did an early interview at our guesthouse. As I finished, Noah, the photographer traveling with me (who is also my brother), stepped in. "We've got trouble," he said.

He led me to a skinny man with thin lips and a stiff jaw, dressed in a fine suit, who greeted us with a glare. He told us to sit down in the dining area of the guesthouse and introduced himself as Loliondo's district commissioner, Elias Wawa Lali. He demanded our passports and visa papers. A few minutes later I sat with Loliondo's head of security. "What happens in your country when someone breaks the law?" he asked as he flipped through my passport. "Do they just get to go free?"


A tense community meeting organized by Thomson Safaris where villagers debated the role of tour operators and NGOs

A three-hour interrogation began. The local officials who questioned us started with allegations that we had taken pictures of children without parental permission. This was an odd charge, given the likely number of foreigners in Tanzania who shoot pictures of Maasai kids every day. Then they said we didn't have our visa paperwork in order, though they had to back off that one when their own immigration agent arrived and told them that we did. They were also mad that we didn't follow what they said was protocol: Upon arrival we should have gone to the district commissioner to explain our reporting and get personal permission (it's true we didn't, wanting to get the story rather than being immediately kicked out, as had been the fate of previous journalists who had followed "protocol").

Quickly, however, they shifted focus from what we had done wrong to fishing for underlying motives. They wanted to know who "had sent us to Loliondo" and were not satisfied by the explanation that we had arrived on our own volition and not at the behest of someone with something to gain in the dispute. They wanted to know who had arranged for our entrance into communities, who had taken us around in previous days, and the names of people we had spoken with. They took Noah's cameras and reviewed his photos to see whether they could be grounds for arrest. Once it became clear that we weren't going to reveal our sources, they spent an hour focused on our translator, threatening to let him "rot in prison" if he didn't spill everything. (Despite his nerves, he held his ground.)

I was frantically calling lawyers off to the side as the baby kicked up a storm in my belly. Noah and I communicated via text until we were ordered not to use our phones. When I tried to insist that they give our translator a chance to tell us what they were saying to him, the district commissioner told him not to translate a word and then barked at me, "You keep your mouth shut!"

Though very shaken, I wasn't surprised. It was clear who had brought the district commissioner to us. Noah had seen him enter with Alias, Thomson Safaris' man on the ground, whom I had pissed off the day before. Noah confronted him, asking whether he was the one who had handed us over to the local authorities. "Yes," Alias said, "I did."

So we played a final card. After hours of back-and-forth and not-so-veiled threats of jail, when it seemed like our being kicked out—or worse—was imminent, we explained that we had planned to use our last day to visit Thomson Safaris projects, speak to their supporters, and interview Alias as promised—all of which was true. Suddenly, we were granted a 24-hour grace period on the condition that we'd stick to the program set out for us and must then leave at 7:30 AM the following day. Alias and his men insisted on coming in our vehicle; one later clarified that the commissioner told him not to leave us alone.

The ensuing corporate good-works tour lasted several hours. We saw an OBC-funded well, teacher housing built by Thomson Safaris, and a school they helped finance. "You see," one of the men said to me, "investors are the ones who care about the Maasai people." But a strange trend arose on our final day: Even the people Alias was leading me to didn't deny the allegations against Thomson Safaris when I spoke to them one-on-one.

During my last interview, a man from Sukenya named Olegelumo Olaise began by telling me that "Thomson are good people because they try to help us." As we talked more, though, he said that his "heart became painful" when Thomson Safaris took the land, because his family depended on that area for grazing. He said he still goes there despite the prohibition, and he's had his cattle "arrested" by the company's guards several times. He runs when a Thomson Safaris vehicle approaches, he told me, fearing that, if caught, "I will be shot or punished or arrested."


A Maasai warrior walks across the plains in the Loliondo District of Tanzania.

After leaving Tanzania, I knew I had to speak directly with Judi Wineland and Rick Thomson. Easier said than done. They often refuse interview requests and had even brought a lawsuit against an anonymous blogger of a website that reported on the allegations I was writing about. (The suit recently settled, and the site has been taken down.) We went back and forth over email several times before they agreed to a spoken interview. They, like the district commissioner, asked whether I had been hired by Ngoitiko's group or any other NGO with a vested interest in this fight. "I am extremely concerned about talking with you," Wineland wrote in an early exchange. "Have you considered that the story that has been perpetuated is totally fictitious? [...] Something not right here, Jean."

But they acquiesced and we connected on Skype: me from my home in Vietnam, and them from "a windy place," they said. "We don't actually mention to anybody when we travel where we are."

We talked for more than two hours. They started at the beginning, with Wineland's lifelong love of travel and intercultural exchange, which began with "a guitar and a group of women" in the burn wards of Japan, Korea, and Guam in the late 60s. She started Overseas Adventure Travel in 1978 with $300 out of a Harvard Square apartment that was barely bigger than a bathroom. She said she'd been the only woman running an adventure outfitter in the US at the time and she got people to go to Nepal and Kenya and Peru to do backpacking and immerse themselves culturally.

The couple's connection to Tanzania began in the early 1980s, near Lake Natron, a Maasai area not far from Loliondo, where a plaque still stands commemorating Wineland and a women's group as the founders of the region's first school. She spoke of their "really good Maasai friends" and recalled having "discussions with elders lasting days," about education, patriarchy, and the future of the Maasai people. "They were so clear that tourism would be a good thing," she said.

The 2006 newspaper ad for the plot in Loliondo was therefore "just the opportunity to continue the work and passion that began in Lake Natron." They already had three other businesses in Tanzania but none in such close proximity to rural Maasai villages, where, they believed, locals could benefit greatly from the charitable work the couple planned to enable.

I asked Wineland whether she had looked into the history of the land and the region before purchasing. "Did we know there was controversy? No, we did not," she told me. They had not visited the site to consult with locals before purchasing the title. When Wineland did eventually hear that some people thought the land belonged to the community and should not have been sold to them, they didn't pay it any mind. "There are so many millions of stories out there," Wineland said. She emphasized the transparency of the sale, citing a Tanzanian government investigation that found that the company had purchased the land legally.

Wineland insisted they'd had extensive conversations with "local elders" about their plans once the title was purchased, explaining how they'd hoped their business would benefit the local communities. "There was great excitement" in those meetings, the couple recalled. "It was very encouraging for us."

When it comes to the abuse allegations, they insisted that their scouts are "really nice to the people," and that scouts know that if they lay a hand on any grazer they will be fired. The only time police get involved is if staff or guest safety is threatened, they said. Regarding the charges of abuse and shootings, they challenged me to find one instance that was indisputably "true." I explained that they were right—hospital records of injuries don't prove their guards were the attackers. Who is to say that those arrested for trespassing weren't on the verge of throwing spears at guests or staff members? There is no written record that any company official had ordered the police to burn Lemgume's boma in 2006. I had dug and dug, and there is no tangible evidence that links Timan's shooting to a policeman called in by Thomson Safaris. In every case, it's the word of the victim against that of the company. It could all be an elaborate conspiracy.


Maasai villagers gather at Tanzania's High Court in Arusha.

But when it comes to why someone or some group would go to such lengths to discredit Thomson Safaris, the company's founders are at a loss. They reiterated the possibilities of clan division and the role of provocateurs.

By this time it was hard for me to put much stock in either. While in Loliondo, I had been told that Thomson Safaris is using historical clan tensions to their advantage, not the other way around. As for the charges that local activists had a financial stake in resisting their title, I had already investigated Yamat's claims, and none had panned out. Nogikoto's NGO granted VICE access to all of its financial documents, and I spoke with donors. I found nothing to substantiate claims that they were using the dispute to enrich themselves. Nor had Nogikoto ever been employed by a rival safari company, as Yamat had claimed. Yamat had given me lots of other "leads" that were dead ends as well—such as the idea that Timan's wound could not have been caused by a bullet, a theory that a forensic pathologist in the US I consulted refuted. 1

Still, I wanted to hear Wineland and Thomson out. They said the proof that they weren't guilty of anything was that they were still operating and even applauded by the Tanzanian government. (Their company is a three-time honoree of the Tanzania Tourist Board: 2001's Tour Operator of the Year, 2005's Humanitarian of the Year, and 2009's Tanzania Conservation Award.) They told me about the "investigation" by the government, a several-hundred-word document, which concluded that Thomson Safaris had purchased the property legally.

I mentioned to Wineland and Thomson a conversation I'd had with an expert in Arusha on land issues who asked to remain nameless. "There is no question the government is on the side of Thomson Safaris," he told me. "[The government] gives a kind of respect to investors so long as they pay taxes and bring in tourist dollars. For the public, the government uses the reasoning of putting the environment above all else. Investors can even violate human rights and the government is not going to look into it or punish them for it."

"[If there was] anything illegal about this," Thomson told me in reply, "it would have been stopped long ago, and we would have been kicked out."

Wineland then said that it's always been the company's aim to do more than just build schools. They plan to "pass the baton" to locals in the long run, but that power transfer is a long way off. "We need to be able to teach them to do this," she said. Their first step was taking a group of local Maasai to Kenya to view some alternative community-tourism models in which villages have a say in operations. Another idea is to teach wildlife management to community members before handing over control. No one in Loliondo mentioned this long-term vision to me. Wineland said the community strife has blocked their every turn. "It's been nine years of difficulty in getting to hit the go button to make this all happen," Thomson said.

Before ending the call, I wanted to float one more theory about how, after almost a decade, there could be a situation of two such contrasting realities. In Loliondo, several people said to me that they had met Wineland or Thomson and that they seemed like genuinely good people. Maybe, Loliondo residents told me, things had gone awry because of over-enforcement on the ground. Maybe Wineland and Thomson really didn't know.

The couple, however, quickly disputed this. They said they are at Enashiva several times a year and always ask Yamat and their scouts—whom they said they trust completely—for detailed reports on everything that's gone on.

"But," I asked, in all these years, "have you ever gone and tried to have direct conversations with any of the individuals [who make the allegations]?"

"Some of them you can't even find!" Thomson interjected, mumbling about how the police say some arrest records have been falsified with fictitious names.

"But some of them you can," I said, "because I talked to them."

There was a pause, and then Wineland answered: "Personally?" she said. "No."


1 The Arusha Regional Police would not address any of the allegations in this piece, and an official stated only that he had "no time to speak with any journalist about crimes." He also said that "the only work a journalist does is to fool people." The district commissioner, Elias Wawa Lali, retired this February, and when I asked him for comment, he replied, "I am the retired DC and old in age; I do not need to be disturbed anymore."


A Maasai man is sworn in to give testimony in Tanzania's High Court.

Outside the one-story High Court building in Arusha, on a brisk December morning, Makko, the Mondorosi village chairman, stood in a huddle with Ndekerei and several other Loliondo residents. Ngoitiko was on her way. A little before 9 AM, the men, in shukas and secondhand suit jackets, filed down a narrow hallway lined with shelves of unorganized manila folders, followed by lawyers in long black robes. It was hard getting through; the door to the courtroom was partially blocked by an old lawnmower left in the way.

I sat in on the first days of the proceedings brought by three Loliondo villages against Thomson Safaris. "The case is based on a legal principle known as adverse possession," Rashid S. Rashid, a lawyer for the Maasai plaintiffs, told me. "If an owner of a land does not prohibit someone coming in, doesn't do anything to dispute them using the land for a certain period of time—in Tanzania it's twelve years—then that piece of property reverts to that person. It's like squatter's rights, but much stronger." Rashid is arguing on behalf of the Maasai that the brewery that sold the title to Thomson Safaris' owners abandoned the property 16 years before Wineland and Thomson ever saw the ad in the newspaper. The sale was therefore illegal, they argue, and the land title should be returned to its rightful owners, the villages. Wineland and Thomson refused to comment on anything related to the trial and would not give their counsel in Tanzania permission to be interviewed for this story.

Regardless of the outcome, the court battle holds significance far greater than the fate of 12,000 square acres in the geographic center of Africa. "This is not an exceptional story of evil conservation," said Ben Gardner, an anthropologist who chairs the African studies program at the University of Washington. What's unique, he said, is that the plaintiffs are arguing in favor of the most controversial idea in conservation politics: giving the land back to its original owners. "If something is for sale and you buy it, how could you possibly be culpable of wrongdoing? Investors get a veil of moral cleanliness. You don't have to account for any history of dispossession or colonialism or the consequences of conservation work."

With much of the natural world in the Global North already past the point of no return, and with the effects of climate change multiplying yearly, more and more of the Global South is being cordoned off in service of a global patrimony that has little relevance to the lives of the people closest to the land. The collateral social damage of these conservationist policies presents a conundrum, a Sophie's Choice. Whose rights are preeminent—those of nature or those of the people who have always lived closest to it?

Often, native groups are kicked off and then, like the Maasai, told to adapt. "We have a tendency to blame the victim, and we don't even realize we are doing it," said Charles Geisler, a professor of development sociology at Cornell University and an expert on conservation refugees. "The onus is always on the conservation refugee to change. We impose lower grazing ratios or reduced water rights... Very slowly, they have no choice but to overutilize the ecosystem. Or they exit, and in the course of losing their homeland, they lose their identity."

Young boys may not shake hands with elders until they are circumcised as teenagers. Instead, they greet their fathers by bowing their heads.

The Maasai are attempting to maintain a delicate balance between choices they've been given, and they don't all have the same answers. After my trip, I kept thinking about the community meeting Thomson Safaris had arranged for us. Despite their fame as warriors, the group was extremely civil when dealing with one another. It was their facial expressions, subtle noises, and silent protests (one contingent of women walked away during one man's speech, for example) during the meeting that made me realize why the Sukenya priest I interviewed on the first day wanted to sit in a ditch. This was a community being torn apart at its seams.

It's not always so hard. There are community-based tourism models in Tanzania and elsewhere in the world in which locals retain land rights so that they can negotiate whatever matters most to them, be it grazing rights or farming acreage or fishing access. For instance, just a short drive from Sukenya, the company &Beyond leases acreage from a local community on which they operate tours. Members of the community limit their herding and police themselves. It's not a perfect arrangement, the company and villagers told us, but both sides benefit from a peaceful coexistence. There are also conservation models in which native groups administer their own business projects—touristic or otherwise—on protected land. Success of these projects will be essential for the health both of natural environments and indigenous communities in an era of climate change and growing populations.

But Loliondo may be well beyond such compromise. At this point, there are two likely ways out. The courts could offer a tidy resolution starting this May. If the villages win, Wineland and Thomson said, they will appeal, but if that fails, they will respect the ruling and leave. If the villages lose the court case, neat closure is probably impossible. Several Loliondo residents told me that while they are proud to have brought the suit, they don't trust Tanzania's notorious judicial system, which is more corrupt than even the country's politicians. If the side with more power and money comes out on top, it's doubtful anyone could calm the Maasai. "We are no longer being hunted," the local elder Lemgume said to me the day we met. "Now we are hunting. That's our ground, and we will get it back."

See more images below.

Follow Jean and Noah on Twitter.

Driving through Maasai land in Loliondo, near the Kenyan border.

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A Maasai man herds his cattle on the edge of Thomson property, defying the company's rules and intimidation practices. Guards are often dispatched to seize the cattle, and, according to witnesses, to beat herdsmen. But locals continue to risk violence because they say they have nowhere else to graze their cattle in the parched plains.

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The Maasai are considered one of the most patriarchal societies in the world. Men can have multiple wives who are often chosen when they are as young as ten. Women spend most of the day gathering firewood, cooking, and caring for children.

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Impoverished Maasai communities live side by side with high luxury.

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Gold Mining, Hope, and My Long, Fruitless Pursuit of Fame

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All photos by the author

Gold was first discovered in California in 1848, but it's been here for 200 million years. It formed in the veins of the quartz that was once pressed below our fertile soil, before it slowly festered its way toward the surface of the crystal, then the earth itself; more like a splinter than a treasure. Gold drips from California's pores like sweat, so its value is hard to explain. We only know that we want it because it's a shiny thing, but the world is full of other shiny things we overlook and undervalue. There is something in gold, real gold, that is worth losing love and giving our lives to. Unlike the paper currencies that change across time and countries, gold is inherently valuable.

In Coloma, California, you can still visit Sutter's Mill, where James Marshall accidentally found gold while looking at sawdust, and thus pulled countless dissatisfied souls away from their safe lives through frost bite and dysentery and unimaginable despair with the magnetic promise that they were destined for something greater. It's dead quiet in Coloma now. On a recent visit, I could hear the American River echoing everywhere in town. There was a cute coffee shop serving handmade dog biscuits and a company that rents kayaks for the day, but the miners are all gone from Coloma—the living ones, anyway.

Now California collects its prey down south, in Los Angeles, where the nation's wild hearts set up camp in the big box apartments of the San Fernando Valley and spend their days doing sit ups and sending cold emails, sure they will strike fame, which is itself a kind of gold.

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The women in Coloma, who are themselves actors

Years ago, I needed to be an actor. I studied at a serious theater school and used to sit in traffic in a car that had no air conditioning, on my way to classes about "emotional preparation." I would use red lights to peel off my waitressing uniform as I swabbed my body with baby wipes to hide the stink of hours spent hauling lasagne and yelling at chefs and being called "sweetie." I would get to class and pay a dollar if I was late and nervously ruminate on whichever fictional situation I had prepared for the day and worry that when onstage, I wouldn't be able to cry.

The teacher would take roll and read quotes from Meryl Streep and maybe if we listened intently enough, we would be the next Meryl Steep. Or maybe the circumstances of the scene we'd brought that day didn't feel real, the way they were supposed to. Maybe they never really did. Maybe we weren't actually very good at believing. Class announcements always ended with a list of who in the school was working: Someone booked a co-star on Friends. Someone was still shooting in Hungary. An advanced student named James Franco had just booked a TV movie about James Dean. Always, there was proof that there was gold in the hills.


I saw people panning for gold in Coloma, but none of them were actually doing it to strike rich. The structures from the old boom town still stood, and under wooden coverings, re-enactors paced around troughs filled with sand and running water. In full costume, they sipped coffee from to-go cups and waited for school tours to arrive. This, according to the "miners," who are now actors, is how you pan for gold:

Dip your pan into the water and fill it three-fourth the way with gravel. Swirl it around until the clay separates. Pick out the bigger rocks with your hands. Sift until the gravel separates. Do you see gold yet? Repeat. Swirl. Sift. Dip. There will be tiny flecks. The gold is always be mixed in with the black sand. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones. Repeat. You just have to stick with it. Swirl. Patience. Sift. You have to believe that today could be the day. Dip.

If you just stayed at it long enough, hard enough, the constant, obsessive 12-hour days, hunching over in the cold American River all would be been worth it.

Related: VICE News visits illegal mines near Johannesburg to meet the people risking life and limb every day in the violent struggle for South Africa's illegal gold.

[youtube src='//www.youtube.com/embed/sVQWFmy2A_k' width='640' height='360']

Before I learned to ride a bike, before I lost my first tooth, and right around the time I stopped believing in Santa, I started wanting to be an actor. I got headshots and a fancy acting coach. By the time I was in second grade, I had a pager, in case my agent needed to contact me during cursive lessons. I spent my recesses fixating obsessively over whether, at home, there was a red light on my answering machine because my agent had called with good news. Every callback I got meant days of fantasizing that I'd gotten the part, followed by the inevitable call that someone else's dreams were coming true. My parents would ask me if I wanted to quit. I would tell them no. It was back to the river for me.

The kids I went to acting class with starred in movies and sitcoms and commercials. (It was only a few of them, though it felt like everyone except for me.) I stuck around and kept sifting the dirt. Eventually, we all got older and became awkward-looking teens who had only been kind-of famous at best. Even the girls who had been the best criers in my class, who had booked an arc on Days of Our Lives, eventually gave up and got their real estate license or moved home. I couldn't blame them. The incessant rejection, the cover letters to nowhere, the stack of post cards with your headshot on them that you knew would become trash on a casting director's floor, could and would kill you if you didn't know when to fold.

There wasn't a definitive day that I quit acting. Instead, I let the passion that had driven me as long as I could remember die like a campfire smoldering at dawn. I told people stand-up was enough to fulfill my need to perform. I insisted that writing had been my plan all along. Mostly, these things are true, but there will always be a part of me who wonders if I left the gold fields a day too early.

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One of the author's childhood headshots

All that still stands in Coloma are the shells of the businesses that cropped up to support the rush: miners who were lucky enough to not believe in luck became blacksmiths and suppliers and other people who could hold desperate fools' dreams ransom. These are the people who strike it rich in a rush.

There are no remnants of the miners' camps in Coloma at all; no record of the chilly nights they spent, bone tired, staring at the stars or of sloppy whiskey sex as the river hummed away or of the hopeful tales they told themselves because that was the only way they could bring themselves to step into the water one more day.

Most people who came to Coloma never found what they were looking for. They left poorer than they came, if they left at all. No one knows their names. No one ever recognized the greatness they were destined for. Gold is just a shiny thing anyway, though. Much more valuable is that it protects you from the perils of a sheltered existence and hurls you outside, to tend your own corner of the river, with no one watching over your shoulder except the pine covered mountains that will be here long after you're gone.

Follow Tess Barker on Twitter.

Meet the Coca-Cola-Obsessed Woman Who Made Her House into a Soda Shrine

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Meet the Coca-Cola-Obsessed Woman Who Made Her House into a Soda Shrine

Inside the Mind Control Methods the Islamic State Uses to Recruit Teenagers

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Illustration by Imogen Reeves

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

It's reported that at least 1,600 people from the UK have left to join the Islamic State. Some of them are teenagers, and a few high-profile runaways—like the Bethnal Green Academy trio—are teenage girls, plucked from stable, happy families. So what is it that makes these recruits want to leave all that behind and instead throw themselves into a world of conflict and brutality?

More often than not, the extreme dedication to the caliphate seems sudden and surprising to friends and family members. However, it's often down to a longer campaign of online grooming than first seems apparent. The loyalty has less to do with an adherence to the Islamic State's extreme, apocalyptic brand of Islam, and more to do with advanced persuasion techniques, similar to those seen in cults like the Children of God, Heaven's Gate, and the People's Temple.

To find out more, I spoke to Steven Hassan—a former member of the Moonies and author of Combating Cult Mind Control—about the methods the Islamic State uses to gain absolute control over some of Britain's young Muslims.

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Islamic State fighters at the border of Syria and Iraq

VICE: Maybe you could start by explaining the difference between brainwashing and mind control?
Steven Hassan: Brainwashing was coined in the 1950s about communist indoctrination. Patty Hearst, for example, was kidnapped out of her apartment, put in a closet, raped, and tortured. She became a member of the Symbionese Liberation Army. She was what I'd call brainwashed, in the sense that, initially, she would have never gone with these people—she was taken by force, and quite brutally assaulted.

OK.
Mind control is much more subtle. You're more likely to be seduced by the recruiter—if not sexually, then emotionally, where you think of them as a friend or a mentor, or someone you really look up to. So there's much more of a sense of what I call the illusion of choice, or the illusion of control. And in that sense, the indoctrination is subtler and deeper—because there's more sense of co-ownership over their new beliefs.

So what happens when we're talking about the kind of influence the Islamic State uses over the internet?
With ISIS it's a soft sell at the beginning, what we call a "grooming seduction period," where there's love bombing and flattery, and it's, "What can we do for you?" But once they get their hooks into [a recruit], they'll threaten their lives, they'll threaten to kill their families, and if you ever leave, "We will kill you, and we'll track down your family and kill them too."

Girls recruited from the UK have often been clever and studious. Are mind control methods not affected by intelligence?
One key concept is that people are not making informed choices. They don't know what it is they're getting involved with fully. They're given enough information to formulate a fantasy or projection. Like my group [the Moonies]—I thought we were going to end poverty, end war, end crime, make an ideal kingdom of heaven on earth. That was the fantasy that I was told initially; it wasn't a religious group at all. And, within two weeks, I find out we're all bowing to an altar, praying for God to help the messiah to take over the world, and we'll all speak Korean. I only found out two years into it that we would kill everybody who didn't convert—which is exactly what ISIS is doing.

"It's easy to say these terrorist bombers are sickos, they're psychopaths, they're criminals. But if you look at who they were before they were recruited, a lot of them were very good, moral people from great homes, with good education."

There's a fierce stigma towards people who have become radicalized. Is that fair?
From us looking in from the outside, it looks like people are making really bad decisions, or that there is something wrong with them to get involved with something so obviously weird. But stepping inside the mind of a person who is being recruited, it's typically this science of social psychology—what buttons to push to activate people's motivation, curiosity, and interest. And what these groups want are essentially people who want to improve themselves, or want to make the world a better place, in one way or another.

What's your own experience of indoctrination tactics?
When I was in the Moonies I was a major recruiter and indoctrinator. The model that we were taught was the four-part model: People are either thinkers, feelers, doers, or believers. And so, as you're talking to this prospective convert, you want to analyze them. Because if they're a thinker, you're going to want to talk very intellectually and engage them in a very abstract way. If they're feelers, you want them to feel like they're loved and they're a part of a community, and it's very emotion-driven. If they're very justice-orientated, it's about saving lives, it's about protecting children, it's about fighting the evil and enemies that are repressing our people. Or if they're believers—then God has chosen you. At a certain time in your life, depending on the context and who you're hanging out with, one of those four angles can find a way into you.

Right—so you'd be using what you've learned about them to customize your manipulation?
It's an incremental progression. If you can control those four components I've just mentioned, you can reshape someone's identity. This new identity is now dependent and obedient. And in the case of Islamist cults, they will literally change your name—kind of baptize you into this new identity. The indoctrinated don't think they're following human beings, they think they're following the divine.

It seems they're often complete victims.
The general public is operating on what social psychology refers to as the fundamental attribution of error. It's the single most important principle of social psychology. And very simply, what it refers to is that when people try to understand what other people are doing, they have this error, or a bias, to over-attributing personality variables and under attributing social, environmental influences.

[body_image width='640' height='427' path='images/content-images/2015/05/11/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/11/' filename='isis-mind-control-young-british-muslims-857-body-image-1431369547.jpg' id='54882']

Islamic State fighters in Raqqa

OK.
It's easy to say these terrorist bombers are sickos, they're psychopaths, they're criminals. But if you look at who they were before they were recruited, a lot of them were very good, moral people from great homes, with good education. And so you must understand that recruiters performed quite a deliberate transformation on them.

How does mind control work online?
A big piece of it is how to hook someone so that they keep coming back for more and more indoctrination, but give them the illusion that it's of their choosing. It's what we call double bind—to use a hypnotic term. Double bind is where the manipulator or hypnotist is giving an illusion of choice. But whatever the person does, they need to do what you want them to do.

So, like the Islamic State's use of propaganda. What's your assessment of the material they create?
They've clearly studied social psychology; they've clearly studied the principles of influence.

How do the indoctrinators avoid family and friends breaking the influence?
Well, they'll often encourage people to keep it to themselves and not tell their family and friends, and not be overtly changed because they've learnt families will react. Unfortunately, by trying to talk young people out of it, most people end up talking them deeper into it. Especially if parents try to use their authority. That's a big mistake.

We often see converted Islamic Sate members happily promoting their new way of life on social media. Is it genuine or a facade?
I think that's their cult identity, doing what they're told they should be doing. It's a dual identity model—there is their true self and their cult self. And the cult self is saying, "You need to cut someone's head off." And they're surrounded by people going, "Yes! Go for it!" That's what's normal, that's what's expected. That's what's going to be rewarded—that's reality for them.

WATCH: The Islamic State

[youtube src='//www.youtube.com/embed/AUjHb4C7b94' width='640' height='360']

Even the most sadistic behavior can become normalized, then.
Well, yeah. Because you're programmed not to look at the person you're killing as a human being with real feelings and family members. You're programmed to believe this is an agent of the devil, and you're just ridding the world of a devil to make the world purer for the new sharia Islamic state to take over.

Yeah.
So the people who died at Heaven's Gate in 1997—they didn't think they were committing suicide. They thought they were leaving their container—their loaded language for the body—so they could beam up to the spaceship that they were told was waiting to take them back home. They weren't really humans; they were from another planet.

Is there a point of no return for the indoctrinated?
If someone had a relatively intact identity before getting into the cult, I would like to believe, based on all my decades of experience, that if we had them in custody, where they wouldn't run away, that we could devise a way to help anybody. But the issue is running away. The way someone's been programmed—it's better to kill yourself than leave the group.

Finally, in your opinion, what's the best way to tackle Islamic State recruitment?
Part of it is developing more education and an inoculation program, especially to help young people to understand influence techniques. There also needs to be recovery for ex-members, so if they do get disillusioned they can learn what happened to them and no longer be a threat. A certain number of those people could potentially make good spokespeople in the inoculation, education, and intervention process.

Follow Sam and Imogen on Twitter.

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