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2014 Was a Desperate Year for UK Celebrities

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This post originally appeared on VICE UK

It's hard work being a celebrity in 2014. You're slumped in the new flat you can barely afford in Surrey, where the neighbors hate you because of that one time you managed to get on Through the Keyhole with Keith Lemon. You're scrolling through MailOnline and worrying you haven't been in the Sidebar of Shame for almost four days. And then your agent calls, and they are mad. "Any relationship dramas?" they're saying. "Is your boyfriend cheating on you? Are you cheating on him? Fucking come on—give me something. At least start a Twitter row with someone off of Geordie Shore. Snort meow-meow off someone's face. Please."

While fame can happen in an instant, staying famous is harder. It's not as easy as flashing your Ann Summers thong outside the launch of a new nightclub or having a "friend" tell the papers you've "got close to" a minor character on TOWIE. You have to hustle, and hustle hard—humiliate yourself to the very lowest level. You have to do things so embarrassing that you no longer feel that emotion, and instead just go numb all over until you see every single mortification heaped upon you as an overpriced cocktail at Mahiki, or a designer handbag, or a line of ket. You need to find a way of getting attention and keeping it on you. And most of all, it needs to look effortless. See, your shitty job sounds amazing now, right?

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Millie Mackintosh Sat In a Skip and Drank a Can of Pre-Mix Pimm's
Kerry Katona getting engaged in front of a wall of paparazzi ? That's fair enough—she's got five kids to feed and a husband whose only job seems to be posting misspelt tweets about her on Twitter. But Millie Mackintosh? The actual heir to the Quality Street empire (sold to Nestle in 1988 for more than $4 million)? Who is married to Professor Green? Granted, he's not exactly shifting loads of albums, but he's still endorsing any shit energy drink that crosses his path and going to every possible games launch in the country. Surely he could have lent Millie the $750 she would have got for this humiliating promotion: flogging cans of pre-mix Pimm's while sitting in a skip. That's 4 AM post-festival "I'm having a meltdown" behavior, not something girls whose daddies could pay to have you killed should be doing.

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Pregnant Katie Price Dressed Up as All Your Worst Comedown Nightmares
Here's the thing about Katie Price: She's funny. Right? This has to be a joke. If you'd caught your husband cheating on you with your best friend, you'd have every right to drink 45 pre-mix cans of Pimm's and climb into a skip. But not our Katie: She put on this rubbish bag of tat, smeared concealer on her lips, stole a pair of heels from one of those shops down the sticky street in Soho, and dragged her pregnant bump out for a press call in front of the UK's media. Well, some of them.

We're not saying the Financial Times was there, but there were a lot of journalists. And instead of fulfilling her promotional obligations and telling them about some hair dye or whatever she was paid to flog, she screamed about her best friend being "a whore" and told everyone, "I bet you can't wait for my next book," all while her tits looked so painful it was like they were about to explode. That, right there, is commitment to staying famous.

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Gemma Collins Bruised Her Boobs On Splash
The gutting thing about The Only Way Is Essex cast is just living with the fact that they make a lot of money off-screen. Like, more than your year's rent, in a week, by just going to a nightclub, getting on the mic, shouting "Oi oi!" at a room full of shitfaced students and going home again. Gemma Collins isn't stupid: She sells flammable pencil dresses for $90 a throw in her boutique in Essex to girls who work in accounts and think the tacky polyester can shield them from men on a "Pull a Porker" night, and they fucking love it.

So she doesn't need any more cash. She just needs fame. She needs us to tell her, "You go on Gemma, gel, you do you!" Which is exactly how she ended up shimmying along the poolside on ITV's diving reality show Splash!, like a skip full of jelly, crying and trying to look sexy all at the same time. Short story: She dived badly, smacked her massive tits on the water, and they bruised, right there on telly. Long story: Vernon Kay couldn't have looked more traumatized and she got voted off straight away.

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Everything Stevi Ritchie Did On The X Factor
The saddest thing about X Factor 's fall guy, Stevi Ritchie, is that he seemed to genuinely believe he had the talent and charisma to win the show. Every week, he'd willingly have honey poured over him while dressed as Cleopatra, or sing a Ricky Martin song just a tiny bit behind the beat, or rip his shirt off and get pawed by dancers who the papers claimed "fancied him," and we'd all laugh.

But he was clearly thinking: If I just do one more embarrassing thing, Simon Cowell will let me sing a ballad, everyone will realize my talent and I'll be a star! At one point, they actually tarred and feathered him as part of an Egyptian-themed performance. He was not allowed to do a ballad while this was happening.

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Kanye Admitted to Spending Four Days Editing an Instagram Post
This is what 2014 has done to us: In 2014, I went to a wedding, sat opposite a bride, and watched her pull out her iPhone and say, "Let's look at my wedding on Instagram!" She said those words. With her mouth. While literally at her own wedding.

It's the modern world, so it's best to let these things go now and again. But in May this year, Kanye West admitted with pride that he spent four days—FOUR DAYS—editing a photo of him and Kim Kardashian kissing in front of a wall of flowers at their wedding. "We sat there and worked on that photo for, like, four days because the flowers were off-colpr," he told the Cannes Lions Creativity Conference. "This was pissing my girl off during the honeymoon—she was exhausted because we worked on the photo so much."

She was exhausted by PHOTO EDITING. ON YOUR HONEYMOON. You spent FOUR DAYS STARING AT YOUR LAPTOP when you could have been repeatedly having sex with KIM ACTUAL KARDASHIAN. I'm increasingly starting to worry that fame might have broken Kanye West.

Follow Issy Sampson on Twitter.


After Aiding CIA, Canada's Open Door to Torture Shouldn't Be Ignored

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Prime Minister Stephen Harper. Photo via Flickr user Kashmera.

As the world reacted to the first public account of the CIA's torture program with shock and calls for prosecution, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper greeted the news with a shrug.

"This is a report of the United States Senate," Harper said. "It has nothing to do whatsoever with the government of Canada."

It's true that Canadians get scant mention in the Senate Intelligence Committee's summary of CIA brutality and deception. But Harper's dismissal ignores Canada's role in the Bush administration's global rendition and detention operation—and ongoing policies that could still involve us in torture abroad.

While Canada was not directly implicated in the horrors inflicted on US detainees—waterboarding, violent and sexual threats, week-long sleep deprivation, and "rectal feeding," among others—there are lingering questions over how the federal government lent a hand.

Declassified government documents show 20 CIA aircraft landed in Canada 74 times when the US flew prisoners to military jails and black sites around the world. Canadian officials were instructed to inform the media of "no credible information to suggest that these planes were used to ferry suspected terrorists."

Alex Neve, Secretary-General of Amnesty International Canada, told VICE his group first raised concerns about the flights in November 2005. "We weren't concerned about flight logs and safety checks—we wanted to look at international norms around torture, lawful arrest, and fair trials," Neve says. "At the end of the day we never received a full answer to our questions." The details of who was on board and where they were taken remain unknown.

Harper downplayed the CIA report while simultaneously rejecting calls to stop intelligence-sharing with torture-tainted foreign partners. Ministerial directives permit circumstances wherein Canada's five main security agencies can both weigh evidence likely obtained by torture and pass on information that might result in torture happening abroad.

The office of Public Safety Minister Steven Blaney told reporters that while Canada does not condone or engage in torture, it will continue to act on intelligence "from any source... to protect Canadian life and property." That ostensibly means Canada could use statements gleaned from, say, threatening a prisoner with a drill held to their head, or with having their mother's throat cut. While that's no longer a CIA practice, Canada appears to be telling its other brutality-prone buds: keep doing your thing, and holler at us if you find anything good.

This worries human rights advocates, who are calling for Canada to rescind the directives.

"This is very concerning, contrary to the absolute prohibition against torture in international law, and contrary to Canadian beliefs," Sukanya Pillay, executive director of the Canadian Civil Liberties Association, told VICE. "[We] should not encourage torture in other countries."

Amnesty International Canada's Neve agreed: "We're concerned that these ministerial directions legitimize, authorize, and in fact even require complicity in torture."

In addition to the legal and ethical issues, this anything-goes policy raises practical concerns. As the Senate report found, the abuse of prisoners leads to "fabricated information, resulting in faulty intelligence." Michel Juneau-Katsuya, a former senior intelligence officer and manager at CSIS, told VICE: "Torture is simply unreliable. As a field officer, I've seen people say whatever they think you want to hear, in normal interrogation circumstances, just to get the heat off of them. Torture and physical abuse simply increases the pressure to invent."

One person who experienced that first-hand is Canadian citizen Maher Arar, perhaps the best-known victim of the US's "extraordinary rendition" policy. Acting on a tip from the RCMP, US officials seized Arar during a 2002 New York layover and deported him to Syria. Imprisoned and tortured in an underground cell for nearly a year, Arar "confessed" to training at an al-Qaeda training camp in Afghanistan—a country he'd never set foot in. Even after securing Arar's release, Canadian officials continued to smear his reputation with media leaks and investigations. An official Commission of Inquiry ultimately led to a Canadian government apology and Arar receiving over $10 million in compensation.

The Arar commission spawned a separate inquiry into the cases of three Arab-Canadians who also wound up in Syrian torture chambers—Abdullah Almalki, Ahmad El-Maati, and Muayyed Nureddin. The 2008 probe found that Canada's intelligence-sharing with Syria and the US resulted in their imprisonment and abuse. But despite a parliamentary committee vote to apologize to the three men, the Harper government has blocked the group's bid for compensation, setting off a court battle now approaching its sixth year.

Then there's Canadian citizen Omar Khadr, now serving the remainder of his sentence in Canada, who was the youngest prisoner and last Western citizen to be held at Guantanamo Bay. Khadr sued the Canadian government for conspiring with the US in his abuse, claiming he was subjected to sleep deprivation and other cruel acts before CSIS agents interrogated him at Guantanamo in 2003 and 2004. The Canadians were granted access to Khadr after agreeing to share any intelligence they obtained with the United States. The US has denied that his treatment amounted to torture.But in 2010, Canada's Supreme Court ruled in Khadr's favor, saying Canadian officials violated his Charter rights by taking part in the interrogation while he was under duress, indefinitely detained and deprived of legal counsel.

There are other troubling cases, including Canada's transfer of more than 400 prisoners to Afghan and US forces despite both countries' dubious records on torture. Detainees that ended up in Afghan custody reported being "beaten, whipped, starved, frozen, choked, and subjected to electric shocks." A senior Canadian diplomat bluntly informed Parliament in 2009 that it was likely "all the Afghans we handed over were tortured." The full picture has not yet come to light after Canadian officials stonewalled the official government probe. But it was among several cases that led the United Nations Committee Against Torture to accuse Canada of torture "complicity" in a 2012 report.

Although Harper claims there's nothing for us to see here, Canada could use the CIA's public shaming as an opportunity for a reckoning of our own.

"While of course [we're] nowhere near at the level and scope and scale of what has been revealed in the [US]," said Amnesty's Neve, "this does remind us that we have our own record of complicity and responsibility for torture that has still not been addressed, and should be." Key for Amnesty is implementing the Arar inquiry's call to end any intelligence sharing with foreign agencies that could lead to torture. "That was a very clear and unambiguous recommendation," Neve says. "But rather than act on that, the [federal government's] directives go in exactly the opposite direction."

Juneau-Katsuya, the former CSIS officer, says Maher Arar's ordeal has made Canadian agencies more cautious about sharing information with foreign governments. But when it comes to receiving intelligence, Juneau-Katsuya worries that Canada could be complicit in torture it won't perform itself. "If you're aware that someone is about to commit a crime and you benefit from the commission of that crime, in a court of law you're just as guilty," Juneau-Katsuya says. "The rationale works the same way here. You say you don't torture. But if you turn around and use intelligence from it, it's not just hypocrisy—you're as bad as the torturer."

Follow Aaron on Twitter.

Komp-Laint Dept.Manson vs. Mormon, and the Brides of Frankenstein

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[body_image width='1000' height='913' path='images/content-images/2014/12/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/18/' filename='manson-v-mormon-and-the-brides-of-frankenstein-body-image-1418940407.jpg' id='12608']Untitled, by Raymond Pettibon and Aïda Ruilova. Pencil, acrylic, and oil on paper

The recent acknowledgement by the Mormon Church that its revered founder, Joseph Smith, had as many as 40 wives, including teenage girls, oddly intersected with the news that the geriatric but still notorious and imprisoned Charlie Manson would marry a much younger woman. These stories became an instant topic of discussion between myself and one of my favorite writers, a fan of all things dark and damaged, Alissa Bennett. We met on a Sunday afternoon, the Lord's day of rest, to delve into our many mutual obsessions.

Bob Nickas: Among Joseph Smith's 40 wives there are women who were already married, some to close associates, a 14-year-old girl, and another he wed just a day after her 17th birthday. The church long held to the complete fiction that Smith had only ever been married once, to his wife Emma. There's a statue of the couple in the center of Temple Square in Salt Lake City. I guess they'll have to make room for a much bigger memorial. And now that the cats—and the kittens—are out of the bag, they've tried to soften the impact of a very belated admission. They claim that Smith struggled against polygamy, that he didn't want to take plural wives, and assented only after an angel confronted him "with a drawn sword, threatening Joseph with destruction unless he went forward and obeyed the commandment fully." Yet he certainly aimed to ennoble the practice, referring to it as "celestial marriage." Where were the parents of that just-turned 17-year-old? The mother had passed away and Joseph sent her father off for two years on a church mission. Apparently that angel, sent from heaven above, had also commanded Smith to rob the proverbial cradle.

Alissa Bennett: The fact that marriages between adults and children have historically been sanctioned within the Mormon Church, particularly by fundamentalists, is directly connected to an imperative. Men should maximize their reproductive potential, and girls should be immediately sequestered by domesticity to keep them docile and willing. The government tried to intervene in the early 1950s when the National Guard stormed an FLDS enclave in Short Creek, Arizona, arresting 122 adults and placing the children into foster care, attempting to publicly penalize polygamist behavior, an act that was ultimately a failure.

BN: FLDS—the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

AB: But it wasn't until the raid in Texas in 2008, with the arrest and imprisonment of child rapist and FLDS leader Warren Jeffs that the group faced any serious legal condemnation. I remember watching the ATF incinerate the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas, on live television in 1993, and I remember the rhetoric that suggested they were a cult posing as a religious order. The obvious corollaries got me thinking: How different is Warren Jeffs from David Koresh or Charles Manson?

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(L-R) Jeffs, Koresh, Manson, Smith

BN: Any number of cults cast themselves as religions, which exempts them from paying taxes, and allows them to claim "religious persecution" when they come under scrutiny or official investigation. It makes them appear more respectable within straight society—as if the roots of so many churches weren't riddled with con men and charlatans. Don't forget that cult is another term for church. What Manson and Koresh had in common was a need to be on stage and worshipped. They both sought but were denied rock stardom. Are you aware of the long-running rumor that Manson tried out for a part on the TV show The Monkees ?

AB: I'd never heard that.

BN: It's untrue, but still believable. Manson never tried out for the show—he was in jail at the time. The rumor was started by Davey Jones, who was one of the Monkees. He owned up to it many years later, but by then it had been repeated so widely that people fell for it, and still do.

AB: Well, it seems totally plausible given that the Tate/LaBianca murders were so thoroughly entrenched in Hollywood mythology. I remember that Manson had flirted with Scientology at one point. It seems logical that he would have auditioned for the original boy band.

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BN: Manson had musical aspirations. He hoped to get a record released with the help of Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys, to whom he had attached himself, like a barnacle at the bottom of a sailboat. Manson had an overblown sense of his meager talents and believed that he would be bigger than the Beatles. John Lennon once said that as far as young people were concerned, the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, to whom Manson, having assembled his devout Family, was sometimes compared. In his delusions of grandeur, Manson would be bigger than both the Beatles and Jesus. One of his songs, "Cease to Exist," was actually recorded by the Beach Boys in '68, although the title was changed—it became "Never Learn Not to Love"—and the phrase was altered to the more palatable "Cease to Resist." When Manson found out that his lyrics had been re-written and the song was credited solely to Wilson, he threatened to kill him. That was pretty much the end of Manson's time in the music industry, and possibly the beginning of his deadly equation: if you can't be famous, kill famous. When you say that the murders were entrenched in the Hollywood myth, I'm reminded that Manson, had he not been caught, might have orchestrated even more gruesome mayhem—drenched in celebrity blood. If you can believe the jailbird singing of Susan Atkins, there was a movie star "death list" that included Frank Sinatra, who was to have been skinned alive while his own songs played in the background. Take your pick: "Witchcraft," "That Old Black Magic," "Strangers in the Night." And if you can even begin to fathom the horrifying second act, "The Family would then make purses out of his skin and sell them in hippie shops." 1

AB: "Strangers In the Night," for sure. Who else was on the "death list"?

BN: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and Steve McQueen, who carried a gun for protection, and even had it on him at Sharon Tate's funeral. Now, had Manson and Koresh achieved any acclaim for their music, a lot of people might be alive today. Sharon Tate's baby would now be 45, and it's possible that Roman Polanski wouldn't be a wanted fugitive from American justice. For Manson and Koresh, if they couldn't be rock stars, they would be gods of another kind. Adoring fans can be manufactured. You assemble and brainwash your fan club, a cult, and settle for being their hero. You rule a little world of your own, and everyone does what they're told.

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In this respect it's worth going back in time to Joseph Smith. You can connect Manson to an age-old American tradition of systematically using and abusing the so-called second sex, turning them into pliable groupies, a harem that's subservient to its lord and master. Joseph Smith was born a dozen years after the publication of Mary Wollstonecraft's A Vindication of the Rights of Woman , a book I'm sure he never read. For the Smiths and the Mansons of this world, women have no rights. Even their children are the property of the father. And although cults are usually run by men, when Koresh first joined the Davidians in the early 80s, they were led by Lois Roden.

AB: What's interesting is that Roden had a pretty progressive organization going for a while. Her ministry was oriented around the belief that the Holy Spirit was a feminine presence. She was in her mid 70s when Koresh announced that God had sent him a message that he and Roden were meant to produce a child who would ultimately be "the chosen one." He was able to convince her to cede control to him with this insane fallacy! It reminds me of Thomas Mann's book The Black Swan, with the idea that a woman's sense of her ultimate value is linked to her reproductive capabilities. This relates to groupies and the kind of power connected to ruling a stable of attentive, obedient women—via ministry, fan club, and so on—and the pervasive notion that posits the female body as the ultimate vessel of immortality. Logically, this should lend itself to a theology that valorizes women, but that's never what happens. Did Manson have any children? I'm waiting for an E! True Hollywood Where Are They Now? special. Where the fuck are they now?

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BN: Well, he had a son with his first wife, Rosalie, whom he married when she was 15. The boy, born in 1956, Charles Manson Jr., later changed his name to Jay White, and ended up taking his own life in '93, possibly the result of marriage trouble, a separation, or divorce. Manson had another son in 1963 with his second wife, Leona Rae, named Charles Luther Manson, who all but disappeared from view—and can you blame him? Leona Rae had worked the streets for Charlie, and he only married her after being arrested for transporting women over state lines for the purpose of prostitution. As his wife, she couldn't testify against him. But you're probably wondering, as most do, about any children Manson may have fathered within the Family prior to the murders. That would be his son Valentine Michael Manson, born in 1968, and known in his infancy as Pooh Bear. His mother, Mary Brunner, was Manson's first and possibly most devoted follower. He named the baby after the character in the novel Stranger in a Strange Land , one of his favorite books. That character is a human raised by Martians, which may have parallels with a child raised by hippies on LSD who are alienated both psychologically and physically from society. There was no stranger land than America at the end of the 60s, which Manson fully exploited to his advantage. Here, I'm reminded of a particularly Mansonian line from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein: "If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear!"

AB: Mary Shelley, the daughter of Mary Wollstonecraft, who died just days after giving birth to her.

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(L) Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson, published by Simon & Schuster. (R) Charles Manson, age 5

BN: I've seen an interview with Michael Brunner when he was in his mid 20s, and he seems relatively well-adjusted, having been raised by his maternal grandparents in a stable home environment. What underlies your question is a suspicion that Manson's offspring may conform to our notion of "the bad seed," a child innately born bad. But it's Manson who was the monster—born to a delinquent teenage mother who was criminally-minded, abandoned by the child's biological father, almost indifferent to her own baby. Manson claims that she once traded him for a pitcher of beer. Now before you start feeling sorry for his child self, keep in mind that Manson was a sociopath from a young age. Everything that made him the devil that he became was firmly in place by the time he entered school. According to Jeff Guinn, who wrote Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson , six-year-old Charlie had been bullied by a boy at school, and somehow convinced a group of girls to beat him up. When this was discovered and Charlie was called into the principal's office, he insisted that the girls had done what they wanted, that he hadn't told them to do anything. Sounds eerily similar to what would happen 30 years later.

AB: What an incredibly prescient detail. A Child Army, Crusaders for The Family! It dovetails nicely with something you brought up earlier, which is that there is a profound difference in how Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkle and Leslie Van Houten are remembered for their roles in the Tate/LaBianca murders and how Manson is. A lot of this stems from the fact that violence committed by women is often positioned as being borne of errant, and often romantic, devotion.

BN: In this culture, murderous women are, to apply Wollstonecraft's equation, "objects of pity bordering on contempt," yet it's contempt that prevails. Perhaps the greatest punishment for the Manson girls is the charade of continuously bringing them before parole boards who would never in a million years release them. For these women, an extreme fidelity to Manson—being under his control and doing whatever they were told—and the endless prison sentences it brought them, can be summed up in the age-old vow: "Til death do us part."

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AB: The romantic view posits a woman's actions as being a matter of hysteria or psychosis or weakness of will rather than choice, a classic hangover from the 19th century. I'm reminded of W.I.T.C.H.—the Women's International Terrorist Conspiracy From Hell. They staged a number of theatrical public interventions that incorporated witch costumes and the chanting of hexes, playing on the popular belief that women who engage in political activity are inherently crazy and sexless. They were primarily active in '68 and '69, long after the Summer of Love had grown cold.

BN: When I think of protestors as crazy and sexless, I see those dumpy, bloated guys who are on the front lines of anti-abortion rallies. I mean, who wants to have a child with one of them? Maybe they go to these rallies to meet women? My favorite protest by W.I.T.C.H. was the one in New York in '69, when they descended upon a bridal fair to "confront the whoremakers." They wore black veils and chanted, "Here come the slaves, off to their graves." Of course if you're talking about whoremakers, look no further than Joseph Smith and Charlie Manson. Both believed that women were to be completely subservient to men. But Manson, the one-time petty pimp, routinely turned girls out from The Family to make money, to manipulate producers into offering a record contract, to win over bikers. For Manson, the sexual liberation of the '60s allowed him to con women into carnal exploitation. Support the power of pussy? Charlie's unspoken motto was exploit the power of pussy. I'm reminded of a contemporary to Manson and W.I.T.C.H.—Valerie Solanas—who claimed that a man will "swim a river of snot, wade nostril-deep through a mile of vomit, if he thinks there'll be a friendly pussy awaiting him." Manson would have readily agreed with her. This comes from Solanas's S.C.U.M. Manifesto of 1967. The Society For Cutting Up Men. Too bad she couldn't have rallied a few hardcore recruits and headed west. Today we might alternately decode S.C.U.M. as The Society For Cutting Up Manson.

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AB: In The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir very convincingly argues that masculine anxiety is largely rooted in a fear of female biological activity—menstruation, lactation, and ovulation—all bound linguistically to the idea of a Dionysian swamp, a hidden recess of fluids that, if women's bodies are not carefully policed, threatens to take down the whole system. It's interesting that Solanas upended this by co-opting that fear and representing it as legitimately threatening in a totally animal way.

BN: She also insisted that to call man an animal was insulting—to animals.

AB: It strangely reminds me of a tract allegedly written by Joseph Smith himself, called The Peace Maker. It's not particularly long, but it works exclusively to extoll the virtues of polygamist living with a strangely carnal bend. One memorable line states: "Here, the wife is pronounced the husband's property, as much so as his manservant, his maidservant, his ox, or his horse." Have you ever looked at the family trees of people in the FLDS? It's like tracing the patri-lineage in puppy-mill animal husbandry. This reference to farm animals suggests a call to enforce that bizarrely Christian paradigm of woman as a fucking and lactating sow. There is a strong commonality between Manson and Smith where belief and sex coincide and cannot be separated. Mormons literally think that God wants as much reproduction as possible, not only to multiply and replenish the Earth, but believing that if they're righteous enough they will create and populate their own worlds, with Adams and Eves on all of them. This concept is exaggerated within the fundamentalist arm of the religion, wherein disgraced or excommunicated men are subject to having their wives and children removed as property, and then re-designated to the household of another man.

BN: The author of The Peace Maker was Udney Hay Jacob, and its publisher was Joseph Smith. In the book Under the Banner of Heaven, John Krakauer affirms that it was conceived and set into motion by Smith. This gave him an opportunity he had long waited for—to bring the notion of polygamy before his followers and see how it might be accepted. Unfortunately, it went down very badly, forcing Smith to claim that he hadn't been aware of its content—an absolutely baldfaced lie. It was published in 1842, and by then he had secretly been taking plural wives for almost ten years. What's really incredible is that shortly before Joseph Smith was killed, his wife Emma confronted him with his ongoing infidelity, insisting that if he didn't give up these women she was entitled to another husband. This defiance took a lot of nerve on her part, and you can imagine it was the last thing he expected to hear. Smith's so-called, self-serving revelation, dictated by him word-for-word, at one point states: "And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore he is justified ..." Not only does Smith want women plural and with total immunity, he wants virgins, which suggests young girls, pure and ripe for the picking. If only every run-of-the-mill cheater might blessedly receive a commandment from God, that he was bound to take plural wives and their daughters, granddaughters, and the babysitter ...

AB: Take the baby too!

BN: ... but no, a mere mortal has to stick his tail between his legs and more or less behave. The divining rod of a self-proclaimed Prophet lets him follow the scent in every direction. That title, The Peace Maker, it's not about sowing the seeds of harmony.

[body_image width='1003' height='462' path='images/content-images/2014/12/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/18/' filename='manson-v-mormon-and-the-brides-of-frankenstein-body-image-1418945625.jpg' id='12629'](L) Vincent Price as Joseph Smith, in Brigham Young (1940), (R) Mary Wollstonecraft's A Vindication of the Rights of Women (1792)

AB: You know that I'm an avid consumer of crime programs like Dateline, 48 Hours, and 20/20. These shows often report on FLDS runaways and the systems that are in place to help them assimilate into 21st century American society, a kind of underground railroad for religiously oppressed white people. When you listen to these young women describe their lives within the confines of the church, there is nothing that could be remotely considered harmonious. They talk about rape and incest and the complete absence of agency, the absolute fear of domestic bondage that they feel from early adolescence, and abuse not only at the hands of their father-husbands, but by other wives in the household who are not their mothers. I recently saw one that dealt with secret prescription drug abuse among Mormon women, which is becoming rapidly more prevalent. They talked a lot about how exhausting it is to "keep sweet," how difficult it is having to pretend all the time. It's just another type of violence.

BN: The meaning of "keep sweet" has changed over time. For Rulon Jeffs, the father of Warren Jeffs, it meant that "the Holy Spirit of the Lord ... must be a permanent thing in our very nature, and a part of our character." For his son, "If you are keeping sweet no matter what, you are a person ready to give up your own will and just obey the priesthood over you." The original message is clearly directed at all followers, but it later becomes a warning to women and girls, and not to "keep sweet" so much as to keep silent.

AB: Silence is an edict built into Mormonism from its inception. Insulation is the primary mechanism of all cults, right? But Mormonism is such a specifically American religion, and given the romanticization of what this country was founded on—insurrection and individualism—it's relatively easy to construct a series of Us-versus-Them binaries that ultimately serve a separatist sub-narrative in ways that are profoundly political. This explains the sort of dropout culture that Warren Jeffs has taken to its absolute limits. He continues to issue increasingly insane religious premonitions and edicts from his jail cell. In 2012, he received a message from "God" that only 15 men in the Boulder City FLDS enclave would be allowed to have sex with the women of the group. Sex could only be for the purpose of procreation, and the act must be witnessed, start to finish, by two other men.

BN: Anyone listening in now is likely wondering, what exactly are the links between Manson and the Mormons? And what are these two tripping out on? Well, back when little Charlie was being taken care of by his grandmother, she tried to set him on the right path, which included dragging him along to the church of the Nazarenes in McMechen, West Virginia. They were fundamentalists, and believed that women are intended to serve and be subservient to men. This was ingrained in Manson from an early age. Now, children can be very adept at getting parents and guardians—and other children—to do what they want, but Manson made a lifetime career out of it. He was a user and a master manipulator. When he was in prison at Terminal Island outside of L.A. he learned how to control women from older inmates who had been pimps. You alternately dole out love and beatings, adoration and degradation, and you turn them out to earn money, never allowing them to have any. This limits their means of escape. Within the Family, Manson held onto the IDs and driver's licenses of his followers, lest they try to run away. The Mormon "keep sweet" can be translated into the criminal/Manson everyday in no uncertain terms: "Do as you're told. Or else." You don't need to alienate the rights of women if those rights are nearly non-existent. When one of the craziest of the Manson girls, Susan Atkins, was briefly talked into cutting a deal to save her own skin, she spoke of Manson's hold on the Family, and claimed, "We belong to him, not to ourselves." And don't forget that central line in "Cease to Exist," when Manson sang, "Submission is a gift, give it to your brother."

[body_image width='1000' height='814' path='images/content-images/2014/12/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/18/' filename='manson-v-mormon-and-the-brides-of-frankenstein-body-image-1418945784.jpg' id='12630']
Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff in Bride Of Frankenstein, 1935. (Photo by Universal/Getty Images)

AB: "Here come the slaves ..."

BN: Enter the brides of Frankenstein, stage left.

AB: Interesting how in both of these instances sex is turned into a mechanism of capital and volume: women's bodies are expected to be fruitful, to generate material goods, be those goods monetary revenue or enough offspring to populate a private planet. Belong to Manson and you will fuck for life. Belong to FLDS and you will fuck for the afterlife.

BN: There's a big difference between Mormons and fundamentalists, and yet they share the same fundamental philosophy in terms of their history, and that history is violent. Blood Atonement—the sacred oath of vengeance. Manson would have understood that all too well. And appearances can be deceiving. After he got out of prison and encountered the hippies, Manson grew his hair long and seemed to be one of them. He didn't hide the fact that he served time. This gave him even more credibility as someone who had stood up to "the man." With the Mormons, the squeaky clean image that many of us have, particularly since Mitt Romney ran for president and they were more visible and under scrutiny, is like much of reality in this country, a surface that reveals very little of its interior drive and its ulterior motives. Imagine if Romney had ever crossed paths with Squeaky Fromme. It's worth noting as well that Utah, basically a Mormon state, has the most subscribers of paid internet porn, and the highest incidence of fraud and white collar crime in the country.

AB: Smith got his taste for leading people on when he became involved in what was then referred to as "money digging"—hunting for buried treasure. He would put a stone into a hat and stare at it until he received a vision that told him where to dig, a practice he was eventually prosecuted for because he conned a lot of people out of their money even though he never unearthed any. After his visitations from the prophet Moroni—which, not coincidentally, involved the discovery and subsequent loss of a religious text engraved on gold plates—he was able to play off the economic desperation of the times and establish a following. He began moving Westward as the gold rush was getting underway. Both Manson and Smith were very lucky in their timing. Periods of national violence and spiritual longing compel people to seek a community in which they can participate and feel safe.

BN: By the late 1840s Smith had been killed and Brigham Young was leading the Mormons, and he didn't want his followers running off to prospect. Many did anyway, and they were referred to as Gold Missionaries. As the Mormons relentlessly go out in search of new converts to expand and enrich their church, this is exactly what they are today.

AB: It's the fastest growing religion in the world.

[body_image width='1000' height='625' path='images/content-images/2014/12/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/18/' filename='manson-v-mormon-and-the-brides-of-frankenstein-body-image-1418945167.jpg' id='12628']Mountain Meadows Massacre, from The Life and Confession of John D. Lee, Barclay & Co. published 1877

BN: Another commonality between Manson and the Mormon church is that they brought their followers out to the desert, to get beyond the reach of the federal government and law enforcement. Manson and the Mormons both considered blacks to be inferior. It's quite possible that Mormons believed that everyone was inferior to them. Do they still believe this? After all, they are the Saints. Manson wanted to start a race war and have it blamed on the Black Panthers. When Mormons slaughtered an estimated 120 people traveling through Utah by wagon train in 1857, including scores of women and children—the infamous Mountain Meadow massacre—they laid the blame on the Piute indians. Not only had they lured the Piutes into joining them in their dirty work, some of the Mormons who led the attack were disguised as indians. Here I can't help but picture Manson dressed in his buckskin outfit. In 1969 it was "blame the Panthers." In 1857, in a scheme worthy of Manson himself, it was blame the Piutes.

AB: This feeds right back into Otherness: do not trust the other, because whether they are black men or a country full of heathens they will lead us down the path to ruin. Manson and Joseph Smith assembled their ministries from a cast of misfits who related deeply to having been disenfranchised. We know that Manson looked for runaways and outcasts with tenuous family anchors, people with a profound desire to be included in something—anything—that made them feel socially and emotionally unified. Manson himself had this need.

[body_image width='1000' height='483' path='images/content-images/2014/12/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/18/' filename='manson-v-mormon-and-the-brides-of-frankenstein-body-image-1418944979.jpg' id='12626']
(L) How to Win Friends and Influence People, (R) Tex Watson's map of the Spahn Ranch

BN: When he was in prison, the only time Charlie made any effort to better himself was when he took the Dale Carnegie course based on the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People . With good-time Charlie Manson this might have been re-written as How to Kill Friends and Manipulate Your Flock. His followers were under the influence—in more ways than one.

AB: The idea of appearance as a malleable asset reminds me of theater, in the way that an audience is able to buy into and commit to a fiction because in the dark we're more easily convinced that what we're seeing on stage is real. Reality within the worlds of both Manson and Mormonism only remains intact if the fourth wall isn't breached. Once again, the importance of separation and isolation for cults. Particularly interesting when you think about the fact that Spahn Ranch, where the Manson Family lived, was an old movie lot. There were horses and a barn, a bunkhouse, a saloon, even a killer named Tex.

BN: Almost everyone in the Family was given a stage name. They were characters, they had parts to play. LSD amplified a kind of method acting—a method to their madness. And the movie in which they were trapped was, of course, a Western.

AB: And the sunset they were riding into was blood red.

[body_image width='800' height='513' path='images/content-images/2014/12/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/18/' filename='manson-v-mormon-and-the-brides-of-frankenstein-body-image-1418945075.jpg' id='12627'] Illustration by Norman Sanders, 1958

BN: Here in the present, the theater/fiction you imagine actually exists. There's a rather successful play called The Book of Mormon. But something tells me that it doesn't include a scene of the Mountain Meadow massacre. All singing, all dancing, all slaughter! The horrible description of the killing of the women and children that you'll find in the book Under the Banner of Heaven almost sounds like the Tate murders: "Painted Saints and Piutes rushed upon these victims with guns and knives and began shooting and bludgeoning them to death and slashing their throats." From eyewitness accounts, the Mormons were even more savage than the indians. The frenzy of Blood Atonement must be equivalent to a few tabs of acid and a line of speed. Maybe Manson's story will make it onto the stage one day.

AB: There are still people shaving their heads and carving Xs into their foreheads. Incarceration be damned, the beat goes on.

BN: Even though California abolished the death penalty after Manson was convicted, they might have made an exception in his case. He should have been the last one sent to the gas chamber. How symbolic that would have been. But no, he keeps on living as some sort of endless act of spite. And the Manson musical gets a perfectly scripted happy ending. Manson, who at 80 years old is doing life in prison, marries one last time, and gets another little stab at happiness. But at 26, isn't she a little old for him?

AB: Trust me, at 80, beggars can't be choosers.

note:
1. "Charles Manson and the Manson Family," Marilyn Bardsley, on Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods,
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/notorio...

Getting Turnt with Pepperoni Slices and Dance Legends at a Pizza Rave

The Iranian Government Erected a Monument to Make Nice with Its Jewish Citizens

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A pair of Jews who are not Iranian. Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Earlier this week, the government of Iran unveiled a new monument in the capital of Tehran commemorating the Jewish soldiers who died fighting for the Islamic Republic in the grueling 1980 to 1988 Iran-Iraq War. This comes as a surprise to many, both for demographic reasons—of the conflict's million-plus casualties, only a handful were Jews—and because of Iran's international representation as a virulently anti-Semitic nation. But the monument points towards the little-known history of Iran's mild tolerance towards its sizable native Jewish community, and the minority's courtship by President Hassan Rouhani's year-old administration.

The monument's commemoration, attended by Iranian Jews and Muslim clerics alike, featured a banner with images of fallen Jewish soldiers, honoring them as martyrs. Amidst remembrances, such as laying wreaths at the foot of the memorial, the event featured an appearance by one high-ranking member of the national government: Vice Speaker of the Majlis (Parliament) Mohammad Hassan Aboutorabi-Fard. Standing at a dais flanked by an Iranian flag and a picture of a menorah, the bigwig delivered a speech praising Iran's Jews for standing by the country's Islamic regime, denouncing Israeli violence and Western demands for concessions in their nuclear program, and highlighting the common divine origins of Islam and Judaism.

These words of friendship seem at odds given the ruling regime's public track record. During the 1978 to 1979 Revolution, which brought the Islamic Republic to power, the leader of the Jewish community was executed and upwards of 60,000 of the country's 100,000 Jews fled bigoted persecution (many arriving in Israel, New York, and Los Angeles). Never a major force in the now-80-million-man, vastly Shi'a Muslim nation, since the Revolution only 9,000 to 30,000 remain, largely restricted to enclaves in Isfahan, Shiraz, and Tehran.

[tweet text="#Iran unveils monument dedicated to #Jewish citizens who lost their lives in 8-year Iraqi imposed war in the 80s pic.twitter.com/3T75eMFD9v" byline="— Meet Iran (@MeetIran)" user_id="MeetIran" tweet_id="544849069789966336" tweet_visual_time="December 16, 2014"]

The Islamic Republic has subsequently arrested or harassed dozens of Jews, and allegedly executed over 20, on accusations of spying for national archenemy Israel. Over the course of his 2005 to 2013 presidency, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad famously denied the Holocaust, while his vice president, Mohammad Reza Rahimi, accused Jews of being drug dealers. This and other vitriolic (but sometimes mistranslated and misrepresented) statements led then-Israeli opposition leader Benjamin Netanyahu to in 2007 directly compare Iran to Nazi Germany. The equation has not been helped by continued signs of clandestine operations, open rhetoric, and public sentiment violently condemning Israel—specifically its Jewish regime and majority.

Many Iranian Jews and observers, however, view their Revolution-era persecution as an anomaly in a long history of tolerance, dating back to at least the 8th century BC and reaching its peak just before 1978. They point out that, upon his return from exile in Paris, the nation's first Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, declared the Jews a protected people and Iranian citizens, ending the era's reactionary violence against them. He allowed them to maintain their own communal organizations, such as their numerous synagogues, Hebrew schools, a Jewish Library with thousands of manuscripts, and more. One seat in the 290-member Majlis is reserved for a Jewish representative (alongside four other seats for Christian and Zoroastrian minorities). In 2006, Maurice Motamed, then the Jewish representative in the Majlis with a good track record of pushing for and attaining incremental legal equality for Jews, even publicly challenged Ahmadinejad's Holocaust denial. And despite the two nations' hostilities, many Iranian Jews report they are able to travel freely to visit their relatives in Israel.

Popular sentiment towards Jews is also more positive than one might expect. Earlier this year, the anti-Semitism watchdog Anti-Defamation League released polling data showing that Iran was the least anti-Semitic nation in the Middle East. Although 56 percent expressed some negative view about Jews, this pales to 69 percent of Turks and 93 percent of Palestinians. (Or, for better comparison, note that only 18 percent of Iranians believed Jews should just stop talking about the Holocaust already, whereas 22 percent of Americans held this opinion.) Even during the worst anti-Jewish violence in 1978 and 1979, the nation never scourged its Jewish population as thoroughly as did Algeria, Egypt, Iraq, Morocco, Syria, and Yemen, leaving Iran with the region's second-largest Jewish population after Israel. And for all his posturing about Israel, President Ahmadinejad's office still donated significant sums to Tehran's Jewish Hospital.

There is some evidence that Ahmadinejad himself was born Jewish or is of recent Jewish descent, and his bombastic rhetoric may be compensatory populist drivel.

Although most of the Jewish participants in the Iran-Iraq war were probably roped in via conscription, this relative tolerance, and the long history of cultural assimilation and Iranian self-identification amongst Jews may explain their shows of support for the Islamic Republic and reluctance to respond to incentive-based invitations to immigrate to Israel.

"We are not tenants in this country," summed up Camak Morsadegh, the Jewish Majlis representative since 2008, in a recent statement. "We are Iranians, and we have been for 30 centuries."

Some of this support and acceptance of the Islamic regime may be overstated. Observers note that many Jews still struggle with negative depictions in the media and the popular (if not official) conflation of Judaism with Israel. More alienated from their Muslim neighbors than in the past, often viewed as spies, and legally protected but far from equal to other Iranians, there's plenty for Iranian Jews to take issue with. Yet viewing the out-and-out persecution of the unprotected Baha'i faith, many may hold their tongues to maintain what rights they have.

Still, the recently unveiled monument goes beyond tenuous tolerance—and far beyond the low bar set by President Ahmadinejad. It seems to be part of a campaign by President Rouhai to woo and visibly demonstrate his respect for this minority. Last year, the Rouhani administration for the first time allowed Jewish schools to close on Shabbat. He also invited Morsadegh to accompany him as one of two Majlis representatives to New York for the annual United Nations Summit. And although it's unclear whether a tweet attributed to the President wishing all Jews a happy Rosh Hashanah in 2013 was authentic, his Foreign Minister, Mohammad Javad Zarif, has vocally condemned Holocaust denial on social media and beyond in the face of hardline opposition. This year Rouhani also donated $400,000 to Tehran's Jewish Hospital.

"The [Rouhani] government has listened to our grievances and requests," said Tehran Jewish Association leader Homayoun Samiah recently. "That we are being consulted is an important step forward."

This monument and all that precedes it doesn't mean that Rouhani's about to play dreidel with Netanyahu this week, or break out a Haggadah in the Majlis come spring. It's certainly no reflection on state policy towards Israel. But it's a welcome gesture for Iranian Jews, and a giant I Am Not Ahmadinejad road sign to international readers that won't ruffle too many feathers amongst the hard liners. It's no Hanukkah miracle, but it's something nice to close the year on.

Follow Mark Hay on Twitter.

VICE News: VICE News Capsule

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The VICE News Capsule is a news roundup that looks beyond the headlines. This week, Kenyan lawmakers approve controversial anti-terror legislation, PETA uncovers a shocking dog-skin trade in China, the US Navy shows off a drone that looks like it belongs in Jaws, and vigilante groups fight in western Mexico.

How to Make Slow-Roasted Short Rib with Michael Solomonov

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How to Make Slow-Roasted Short Rib with Michael Solomonov

Flirtmojis Are Emojis for Dirty Sexting Fiends

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Images courtesy of Flirtmoji

Don't you hate it when you're in the mood to put on a latex mask and shave your lover's pubes but you don't have an emoji to convey the way you feel? Well, worry no more because graphic designers Jeremy Yingling and Katy McCarthy have created a new dirty line of emojis called Flirtmoji to serve your sexting needs.

Yingling and McCarthy may sound a bit ridiculous when they identify themselves as "artists, avid sexters, and penis pencilers," but their new emojis are no joke—they want to help sexters say exactly what's on their dirty little minds. Thanks to Apple's bizarre guidelines regarding apps' keyboards, using Flirtmoji is more complicated than simply sending your boyfriend the eggplant emoji. For now, you have to save the website to your home screen, browse through the emojis, then copy and paste the symbols into a text. Interested in learning more about why the developers decided to improve our sexting lives, I called Yingling and McCarthy to discuss the inspiration behind their new business, standard emojis' racial issues, and alternatives to dick pics.

VICE: How did you come up with the idea for Flirtmoji?
Jeremy Yingling: Katy and I met at a figure drawing group that we participate in just amongst friends.

Katy McCarthy: Friends taking their clothes off professionally.

Jeremy: Well, barely professionally—anyways, it got us both thinking about bodies. A few months into that Katy approached me about a project she was working on. We all kicked it into new gear at the same time, and [Flirtmoji] took off from there. It's definitely been the year of the body.

Katy: We designed them to be a little bit of everything, and it's grown as we start to look at it as a comprehensive whole set of the effects, because sex is all of those things: Sex is explicit, sex is flirty. You could use this if you weren't having sex too—you can use flirty icons, you can use heart hands, a tongue licking lips. There is just a lot of variety.

What makes a good Flirtmoji?
Katy:
To pass the test it needs to be kind, non-aggressive, nonviolent, communicative, or sexy. We have packs like BDSMS—that's sort of our kinky leather pack— and then we have a Fetish 101, which we conceive of as being entry-level fetish, with a candle dripping wax and an ice cube and a feather. And then also have party time—these packs that are sort of like playful sexts, scenarios in which you are encountering sex and sex energy.

[body_image width='640' height='1136' path='images/content-images/2014/12/17/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/17/' filename='flirmojis-are-emojis-for-dirty-sexting-fiends-768-body-image-1418850728.png' id='12164']

Are there Flirtmojis available for all sexual orientations?
Jeremy:
We really tried to be more open and inclusive and just take all these weird icons, which are sexy for different reasons, [and] stir them up, blend them together. We've certainly been thinking about orientations, different genders, and really just trying to incorporate them into every step of the way however we can. That said, we're not the most diverse group of developers, so again, we're always looking for feedback or ways that we can be more inclusive or more sensitive to other people's interests.

Katy: Something you'll notice is that there are very few actions which you have two bodies together—so in that way we really see it as being open to anyone identifying with a particular genital and then using it as icons to send to anyone else. You can identify any which way and use boobs or use the butthole icon. We haven't assigned a sexual orientation to any of those.

Traditional emojis have been criticized for their race problem. Does Flirtmoji reflect America's diversity?
Katy:
That's obviously a problem we've had with the present emojis. It's taking an aggressive stance by just having one skin color. It's not good for people. It's not good for feeling like you're represented. You can see that we're thinking and using a variety of skin tones that we've developed. We have a light, a medium, a dark, and then this sort of alien option—this green option. It's non-identifying; it's open to everyone.

[Flirtmojis] we're planning on launching soon are genitals and body parts, each one in every color. So you could go here, you could see [different colored genitals]—we have 20 pussies for example. There are different types of vaginas, there are different labial folds, and they're in each color. And that's really important to us—this idea that you could go to the site and you could find your genital that you identify with based on your anatomy and the color of your skin.

How do you hope having self-identifying emojis will change the way people sext?
Jeremy:
You can start sexting with that instead of taking a photo of your genitals and putting that out there, because we all know how that is likely to end up: the Fappening, revenge porn, and all of these scandals.

Katy: This is actually a really safe option for sexting—especially for people who aren't of legal age in their jurisdiction. It's sexy. It's anatomically thoughtful and correct in many ways, but they're not your own genitals. I don't have a problem with people sending their own pictures to partners. But I think that something we're really wanting—and something we're trying to reshape the dialogue around—is that this is really safe language. If teens are presently sexting and using their phones in that way—which we know they are based on research—then how can we present them with a tool that they can use more safely without sending pictures of [their personal] genitals over the internet?

Do you also have emojis encouraging safe sex?
Katy:
"Safe sext" is what we're calling it. Something that we've been thinking about a lot lately—especially with seeing how many people are abusing it right now—is providing another level of language that is about safety and birth control and clean partnerships and consent. That's something that we're putting out right now, and we're really curious to see how people use it.

What is the most downloaded Flirtmoji?
Jeremy:
Right now our most popular free icon, which everyone has access to, is the bunnies making sweet love. Other popular ones are licking lips, and boner in gym shorts is pretty popular.

Is there one that looks like period blood on fingers?
Katy:
Yeah. That's an early icon. Don't you love that diamond ring?

Follow Sophie on Twitter.


​I Went to a Pro-NYPD Rally Last Night and It Got Ugly

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All photos by the author

It took less than half an hour for a fight to break out. A trio of counter-demonstrators were infiltrating the pro-New York Police Department (NYPD) rally outside of City Hall in Lower Manhattan. There was plenty of pushing and shoving, fueled by a repetition of "Go fuck yourself." It was every Facebook conversation you've seen over police brutality in recent weeks playing out in real time.

On a cold Friday night, about 40 to 50 people had gathered to show their support for the boys in blue, a delayed response to the city exploding with protests over the recent grand jury decisions not to indict the cops who shot Eric Garner and Michael Brown, both unarmed black men killed by white police officers. Organized by a group known as "Thank You NYPD," the banner slogan stated "Blue Lives Matter," a play, of course, on "Black Lives Matter," the three words that have come to define the nationwide anti-police-brutality movement.

"The rally is a collaborative effort from the 14,000 members of the page who want to show their support while our officers get spit on/assaulted/and mocked," the founder, who wished to remain anonymous, told me over Facebook beforehand. "But they will be the first ones called into action when a problem arises. It's not against the protests. It's just a way for the people who appreciate them to say thank you."

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It didn't take too long for that idealistic scenario to dissolve. Almost immediately, a larger group of counter-demonstrators arrived, sparking emotional name-calling back and forths over the five-foot-long No Man's Land that divided the two masses. Chants of "Obey the law!" followed by "Or get killed!" followed by "Get a job!" followed by "Racist fuck!" In between, actual police officers remained the calm and collected ones, holding back these people like angry ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends, ready to kill each other over them.

"I know prejudice—I'm not prejudiced. I believe in society and its laws," Andrew Imsandi, a pro-cop protester from Long Island, told me. "These demonstrators are deluded; they can't understand the statistics. More police officers die each year than minorities."

Imsandi praised former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani for cleaning up the city and bringing respect back to the badge in the 90s. He went on to lambast David Dinkins, the first African American mayor of New York whom Giuliani unseated in 1993, for being "out of control" with policing, as well as the current mayor, Bill de Blasio. "He's going down the wrong path," he told me. "He's not a leader, he's divisive."

The vitriol towards the mayor, epitomized in the chant "de Blasio sucks!" was a calling card of the pro-cop crowd. This sentiment rides off of remarks made earlier this week by Policemen Benevolents Association chief Patrick Lynch, who requested officers sign petitions to not let the mayor attend NYPD funerals. "He is not running the city of New York," Lynch said at a private dinner in Queens. "He thinks he's running a fucking revolution."

Surprisingly enough, that may be the one thing uniting these two angry groups: they both think de Blasio is fucking up. Of course, to the "Black Lives Matter" protesters, it was for the opposite reason: that he's too cozy with the cops and the system, too content with the way the legal process has played out. Makings things worse is that de Blasio told NYPD officers at a promotion ceremony earlier Friday that "respect for the NYPD has grown." It was hard to find anyone, on either side, who agreed with him.

There were numerous dissections of the Eric Garner video, and what actually took place in front of our collective eyes. The consensus among the pro-cop crowd was that 31 previous arrests made Garner—who sold individual, "loosie" cigarettes on Staten Island—a criminal, and the chokehold that killed him was a necessary takedown, albeit an illegal tactic in the NYPD handbook. And Garner, protesters argued, was breathing as he lay dying on the floor, contrary to the medical examiner's report that deemed the incident a homicide. In fact, several shirts were spotted reading, "I can breathe," a twisted play on Garner's final words.

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"If people were arrested, they wouldn't be knocked down. They'd be arrested and go through the legal system, like the rest of us," Philip McManus, another pro-NYPD protester from Queens, told me. "If people didn't resist arrest, there wouldn't be police brutality. No one wants anyone to die."

McManus argued that "Our group isn't gonna stop traffic, or close businesses, or ruin the American Dream for anyone else." To him, "the way to stay united is safety," which made for another popular slogan of the crowd: "I have a family—safety matters."

The protest was actually a bit like anti-war protests over Vietnam and Iraq, the idea being that if you're not a soldier (or a cop), you can't say a damned thing. "If these protesters had to wear those police uniforms for a day, they wouldn't be out here protesting!" one pro-cop supporter seethed. "Put that in the fucking press!"

"I don't think they know what they stand for," Kim Gembecki, the mother of an NYPD officer, said of the counter-demonstrators. "It's inappropriate behavior for adults and children to be raised like this. And [de Blasio] has come out against the NYPD, who risk their lives to keep New Yorkers safe. It's a disgrace."

That zeitgeist was key on Friday night: In between two arguing masses, we were transported back to 1989. This was Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing New York, when racial tensions were bubbling to a point of spontaneous combustion. You could feel it in the cold, blistering air: a sense that the city, once again, was tearing itself apart. The lines drawn in cement said it all, and yes, the demographic and age makeup was clear. This was, for the most part, whites versus a multi-racial melting pot, old versus young.

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On one side, you had law-and-order, "Silent Majority" types, defending New York's record-low crime rates, America, and everything else in between. Some were unable to keep their shit together, calling for better parenting and fewer abortions in the African American community. These are the people who hated Occupy Wall Street, hate Al Sharpton, and will go nuts if an accusation of racism gets thrown at them.

Across the barricade, you had the activist crowd, who see racial profiling in those very same statistics. They sometimes were unable to hold themselves back from calling the opposition racist murderers. In select situations on Friday night, this led to actual violence, which of course was totally contrary to the messages of both groups.

The last person I spoke to was a 76-year-old man named Kevin Thomas, an Irish immigrant's son who moved from Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, to Santiago, Chile. Thomas flew up from South America to visit family and attend this rally, simply to see what the hell was going on in his native city after reading the news. Although he found himself on the pro-cop end of the spectrum, Thomas said he hated hearing the angry rhetoric on both sides.

"We need to have the protest come to a peaceful solution," he told me. "As a white individual, I'd like to try to see what both sides are saying. I was trying to tell them, 'We have to look up and thank God we were born white.' Because if I was black and had my hands up, discriminated against, I wouldn't be so happy."

When asked if he was disappointed with what he saw on Friday night, Thomas responded, "No, just sad."

Follow John Surico on Twitter.

The Family of the CIA Operative Released in US-Cuba Prisoner Swap Has No Idea Where He Is

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The Family of the CIA Operative Released in US-Cuba Prisoner Swap Has No Idea Where He Is

Comics: Roy in Hollywood: Am I a Comic Character?

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Read more of Gilbert Hernandez's work at Fantagraphics.

Two Cops Were Shot to Death in Brooklyn on Saturday

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Near the crime scene in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. Photo by the author

Two police officers were shot while in their patrol car this afternoon in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant. Both officers have died, and the suspect allegedly killed himself in a nearby subway station shortly afterward.

According to the New York Times, the shooting took place just before 3 PM near the intersection of Myrtle and Tompkins Avenues. The Daily News is reporting that the shooter's name is Ismaaiyl Brinsley, and that he's a gang member from Baltimore who wounded his girlfriend outside that city before traveling to New York with the intention of carrying out this shooting.

After allegedly shooting the police, Brinsley is said to have run to the Myrtle-Willoughby G train station, at which point he shot himself in the head, NYPD Deputy Chief Kim Royster told the Times.

So far, reports haven't offered a coherent motive for the attack, which law enforcement officials are describing to local tabloids as "an execution"-style slaying possibly carried out in "revenge" for the non-indictment of the cop who put Eric Garner in a lethal chokehold on Staten Island this summer.

On Twitter, many have been posting screen grabs purporting to show the gunman's now-deactivated Instagram account. One post is a picture of a gun along with the comment, "I'm Putting Wings On Pigs Today. They Take 1 Of Ours...... Let's Take 2 of Theirs #ShootThePolice #RIPErivGardner [sic] #RIPMikeBrown This May Be My Final Post [ten gunshot emojis, one gun emoji] I'm Putting Pigs In A Blanket." Another user claims that the man's account showed that he shot a woman earlier on Saturday.

As we've reported, the last six months have seen tensions between the NYPD and citizens reach a boiling point. Tens of thousands of people have protested across the country, and Eric Garner's final words, "I can't breathe," have become something of a metaphor for life as a black American.

On Friday, supporters of the NYPD held a counter-protest where things got heated almost immediately, a reflection of the tense climate in the city.

Unsurprisingly, Bed-Stuy is currently awash with police cars, sirens, and helicopters. Head to VICE News for ongoing coverage of the shooting, with updates expected throughout the night as developments come in.

Follow Hanson O'Haver on Twitter.

Comics: Girls Only

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To read more of Stephanie's comics, check out her blog.

THUMP Just Hit 100K SoundCloud Followers

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THUMP Just Hit 100K SoundCloud Followers

The VICE Guide to Film: North Korean Film Madness - Part 1

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You could say that North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il has two primary obsessions: maintaining nuclear weapons capability as a means of protecting his “hermit kingdom,” and thwarting pressure from outside forces like America and the rest of the industrialized world to open his country to modern things like electricity… and he’s obsessed with film. He loves movies. It’s rumored that he has one of the largest private film collections in the world. His favorite film is Gone with the Wind and his favorite actress is Elizabeth Taylor. He’s a film collector and bona fide cinephile, but he’s much more. He’s everything really. He’s a director, a producer, a financier, a costume maker, set designer, screenwriter, cameraman, sound engineer… and he’s also a film theorist. His masterwork on aesthetics and practice is “On the Art of Cinema” (written and published in the early 1970s). In it he gives himself the humble title, “Genius of the Cinema.” He built an extensive film studio in Pyongyang and when he couldn’t find someone to make his film he did what any self-respecting eternal leader and great president would do… he kidnapped one.


Vice founder Shane Smith visits North Korea to try and penetrate the Korean Feature Film Studio, the state-run film production facility west of Pyongyang: a sprawling lot that at its height produced around 40 films a year.


Being Gay Is Beautiful: Being Gay Is Beautiful in Berlin

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Besides dealing with homophobic politicians, hate crimes, and a whole lot of other crap, LGBT people are living beautiful, diverse lives in a variety of cities across the world. Our photo column "Being Gay Is Beautiful" explores this idea, showcasing photos of a different city's LGBT community every other week, displaying how being queer is fucking awesome. This week, the column takes us to Berlin, where Joseph Wolfgang Ohlert makes delicate, natural light portraits of guys in their homes.

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[body_image width='1000' height='1500' path='images/content-images/2014/12/19/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/12/19/' filename='being-gay-is-beautiful-body-image-1419015167.jpg' id='12939']

The Fear Digest: What Are Americans Terrified of This Week?

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Photo via Sony Pictures

Welcome back to the Fear Digest, where we rank the top ten paranoid fantasies of the collective American unconscious. Read last week's column here.

10. Weed
The United States is a nation of Chicken Littles in the best of times, and this wasn't one of our good weeks—we cried about the sky falling at every little piece of news that came our way. Our various governments weren't immune from creeping panic: This month Oklahoma and Nebraska filed a lawsuit to put an end to Colorado's legal recreational weed market. The attorneys general for both states say that their neighbor's blossoming marijuana industry is causing a lot of fire-ass chronic to (predictably) flow across their borders. "Federal law classifies marijuana as an illegal drug. The health and safety risks posed by marijuana, especially to children and teens, are well documented," said Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt. "The illegal products being distributed in Colorado are being trafficked across state lines thereby injuring neighboring states like Oklahoma and Nebraska." Good to know that there's still some old-school drug warriors fighting the good fight!
Last week's rank: Unranked

9. A Missile Attack
Also in government paranoia: The US Army is about to launch some fancy blimps over the nation's capital to help the military detect incoming cruise missiles. It doesn't seem as if a cruise missile attack is imminent, but hey, if we've got these big-ass blimps lying around, we might as well use 'em.
Last week's rank: Unranked

8. The Islamic State
One thing that the blimps won't have to protect us from is the Islamic State, which this week continued doing awful things in Iraq and Syria ( it just executed 100 people for "desertion") but fell out of the headlines, partly because they didn't behead any Western captives, but partly because there was just so much other stuff to panic about.
Last week's rank: 4

7. Pregnant Mothers
One of those things to panic over was the disturbing case of Tamara Loerstcher, a pregnant Wisconsin woman who got sent to jail because she was using drugs—like several states, Wisconsin has essentially made it illegal for moms-to-be to use drugs. This attempt to protect fetuses looked pretty horrific, as Feministing noted:

During her time in jail, Loerstcher didn't have access to prenatal care and when she was experiencing cramping, she wasn't allowed to see her regular doctor. She was told she'd need to see a jail-appointed doctor who demanded she take a test to confirm the pregnancy—even though the only reason she was in jail in the first place was because she was pregnant. When she refused, she was thrown in solitary confinement and threatened with a taser.

Last week's rank: Unranked

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6. Russia
When the ruble abruptly fell in value this week thanks to a combination of sanctions and a decline in oil prices, President Vladimir Putin reacted with his characteristic restraint:

"Sometimes I wonder, maybe the bear should just sit quietly, munch on berries and honey rather than chasing after piglets, maybe then, they would leave it alone?" he said according to the Guardian. "But no, they wouldn't, because they will always try to chain it up. And as soon as they chain it up, they will pull out its teeth and claws."

It's only natural that leaders bluster and project confidence when their economies suffer. It's just that Putin's brand of bluster is a little more... threat-y? than most. At least he gave the Drudge Report a good headline.
Last week's rank: Unranked

5. Cuba
International tension decreased elsewhere, as the US normalized relations with Cuba after more than a half-century of semi-open hostility. This was thanks to a major diplomatic undertaking that involved the pope and clandestine meetings in Canada, reported the New York Times. This made a bunch of Republicans really upset—Florida Senator Marco Rubio vowed to stop anyone from ever becoming ambassador to Cuba. Never mind that this was a regime that had stayed in power through decades of embargoes and that the old diplomatic strategies weren't exactly reducing the Castro regime to its knees. Any time the GOP gets to complain about Obama's "appeasement" of the Bad Guys, it's going to. (Reason's Matt Welch has a thorough rebuttal of the Republican party line, if you're interested.)
Last week's rank: Unranked

[youtube src='//www.youtube.com/embed/eNGUM5tznZQ' width='640' height='480']

4. The Cops
If the right has visions of communist invasions dancing in their heads this holiday season, the left has a creeping fear of the police. You had the above beating of a black kid in New York, you had Cleveland Police Union President Jeffrey Follmer going on MSNBC and insisting the shooting of 12-year-old Tamir Rice was "justified," and you had CNN's #AskACop hashtag turn into a place for anti-cop activists to vent their frustrations. This week New York police union leader Pat Lynch told a roomful of cops to use "extreme discretion" when doing their jobs. That could presumably be taken to mean, "Don't try too hard on patrol or stick your neck out"—then again, at this point a lot of people might be happier if the cops slacked off a bit.
Last week's rank: 1

3. The Existence of Racism
Undergirding the fear of the cops is a fear of racism and racists, which isn't all that unreasonable considering the centuries-long history of slavery, genocide, and race-based hate in America. But we're not just afraid that people will hate us for the color of our skin. We're afraid of the notion that people will think that we harbor racism in our hearts, or simply afraid that the US is fundamentally a hateful place. At times, this expresses itself in a fear of even talking about racism—that's how you get conservatives dismissing the Obamas' anecdotes, shared with People, about being treated differently because they're black. That's also how you get Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell yelling on The View about who gets to call what racist (or something). As of press time, America remained pretty dang racist.

Last week's rank: Unranked

2. People Who Hate the Police
On Saturday evening in Brooklyn, a disturbed man shot two police officers through the window of their cruiser, killing them instantly. He then ran to a subway platform and shot himself. According to the authorities, Ismaaiyl Brinsley had killed an ex-girlfriend of his in Baltimore before driving to New York specifically to kill cops; on Instagram he had claimed that he was out to avenge the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner. That turned a tragedy into a political issue—Brinsley isn't being regarded solely as a crazy person but as an incarnation of left-wing rage. "There is blood on many hands tonight. Those that incited violence on the street under the guise of protests that tried to tear down what New York City police officers did every day," Lynch said according to Capital New York. "That blood on their hands," he added, "starts on the steps of City Hall in the office of the mayor."
Last week's rank: Unranked

[tweet text="I think it is disgraceful that these theaters are not showing The Interview. Will they pull any movie that gets an anonymous threat now?" byline="— Judd Apatow (@JuddApatow)" user_id="JuddApatow" tweet_id="545304296573501441" tweet_visual_time="December 17, 2014"]

1. North Korean Hackers
Want final proof that we're a nation prone to wild accusations and panic? How about the whole response to a hacking attack on Sony Pictures supposedly perpetrated by a North Korean regime unhappy about how it was depicted in The Interview, a comedy about Seth Rogen putting things in his butt. The hack led to the release of a bunch of leaked emails and, eventually, a threat that scared most major theater chains from showing The Interview; then Sony decided to shelve the film indefinitely, even though the threat was, many experts say, complete and utter bullshit. The people who weren't panicking about the idea that unnamed "terrorists" would bomb cinemas were getting on their high horses to talk about what a "dangerous precedent" this set—according to that line of thinking, this will lead to more threats against controversial movies about Seth Rogen putting things in his butt, which will lead to those movies being cancelled, thus setting up a system of fear-based censorship. This isn't a slippery slope, however, this is a few executives at some large corporations being overly cautious and fucking up as a result. If anything, the tidal wave of bad publicity Sony got over the movie's non-release will convince studios in the future not to follow its example. Don't worry guys, I'm sure we'll be able to see Seth Rogen insert objects into his anus very, very soon.
Last week's rank: Unranked

Masked Thieves Rob a Luxury Department Store in Berlin

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Masked Thieves Rob a Luxury Department Store in Berlin

Two NYPD Officers Shot in Brooklyn 'Ambush' Attack

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Two NYPD Officers Shot in Brooklyn 'Ambush' Attack

I Toured NYC's Least Hygienic Restaurants and They Were Delicious

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Over the past couple of months, our friends at VICE offices around the globe have been hitting up the dirtiest restaurants in their respective towns to see what they have on offer. London sells wet bags of fish, Melbourne has maggot dumplings, and Liverpudians eat what looks like angry paper bags full of vomit—but what gross stuff do New Yorkers cram into their maws?

To find out, I decided to take a visit to my town's dirtiest restaurants. Figuring out where these places were turned out to be tricky, however. After some inquiries, the New York Department of Health sent me a spreadsheet with every restaurant in New York sorted by the number of health code violations it received during its last inspection. The places with few or no violations get an A grade, those with more violations get B's or C's, and the really bad spots get shut down. On the surface, this appears to be a pretty straightforward way of mapping out the worst restaurants. But of course it's actually more complicated than that.

Inspectors subtract points (out of 1,000) for various violations, and some of these have nothing to do with cleanliness—restaurants can get dinged for not having a choking sign or for not having proper ventilation over a panini press. It doesn't take much to knock an A down to a B, and as one chef complained on CNN's Eatocracy blog, "The violations game is completely open to the whims of the given inspector on the given day. That's how one of Restaurant magazine's top 50 establishments of 2014, Per Se, got slapped with a C rating this year, while the deli near my house can get an A even though the sandwich guy always has a snotty nose.

What this means for my project, though, is that I couldn't go by grade alone—so for my purposes I picked a cross-section of restaurants, some with poor health ratings, some with really disgusting Yelp reviews, and one Chinese spot that my roommate swears gave him the worst food poisoning of his life.

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I grabbed my trusty photographer Meredith, who, bless her heart, consistently agrees to watch me do a variety of bad things to my body. Our first stop was Chinatown, specifically a restaurant called Pho Bang, which bagged 47 violation points during an inspection last summer.

I am not exactly a food critic. I would describe my eating habits as "garbage disposal-esque." Food-cart burritos, beef patties, bits of chicken that's been sitting under heat lamps for hours—I eat it all, I enjoy it, and I tend to shrug off what others might regard as culinary red flags. In high school, I lived on prepackaged supermarket sushi for longer than was probably appropriate. All that's to say I wasn't too concerned about any of the places on my itinerary, especially not Pho Bang, which is an old haunt of mine. It seemed clean and delicious every time I've been there. At least clean enough for me.

Meredith and I grabbed a big table and soon the waiter seated another pair of Pho Bang customers with us—one of them was a hairstylist for Project Runway and the second was a makeup artist. When I told them what I was doing, they sang Pho Bang's praises and immediately ordered the entire menu to prove that everything was good. The hairstylist even fed me a bite of some strange egg-based loaf with glass noodles inside.

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The meat in my pho was raw, but that's how it's supposed to be. It cooked quickly in the broth, and I piled in fistfuls of bean sprouts and mint, inhaling the aroma. A distant voice in my head dutifully reminded me of the Salmonella-infected bean sprout epidemic that's been ravaging New York City recently, but I shrugged that that as not being in the spirit of things.

Bellies full of pho and whatever else the hairstylist fed me, Meredith and I then went up to Midtown to grab the second of our many meals, at the Warwick Hotel's Murals on 54. It's the sort of place that sells a fruit salad for roughly the price of an orchard, but it lost a whopping 121 points in an inspection last March—more than any other restaurant I could find.

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We arrived at quarter to three, but Mural's revolving doors wouldn't budge—it closed 15 minutes before we got there, according to a sign outside. Where was I supposed to eat a potentially hazardous lunch?

Luckily, there was a Halal cart only a few blocks away that blew up the internet a few weeks ago after someone snapped a picture of a bunch of pigeons picking meat directly off the grill. I ran over and bought a heaping pile of chicken and yellow rice doused in something that tasted like bleu cheese dressing. When I sat down to feast a swarm of pigeons descended on me, all vying for a bite. The cart must have the pigeon equivalent of three Michelin stars.

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Only a small section of the aforementioned pigeon swarm

I figured if it was good enough for flying rats that eat literal garbage it was good enough for me, so I gobbled it down and Meredith and I hopped on the subway to see what sort of delicious, bacteria-ridden cuisines the outer boroughs have to offer.

We ended up at Clinton Hill's Golden Hing, one of the city's countless hole-in-the-wall Chinese joints. What distinguished it from all the other slightly shady spots in Brooklyn is that it gave my roommate the worst case of food poisoning he's ever had. I went straight for the beef with oyster sauce, since that was what he warned me against.

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The beef melted in my mouth, which is not really something that cooked cow is supposed to do, and the "oyster" sauce had the consistency of molasses. I wouldn't have been particularly surprised to find that the meat was made of crickets, like the Jell-O nutrient slabs the poor folks eat in Snowpiercer. (That's not to say I've got anything against eating crickets. When I was seven years old, someone gave me a lollipop with a huge cricket suspended inside, and I was so impressed with the thing that I refused to eat it. Instead, I kept it in the glove compartment of my dad's Toyota until a particularly hot day when it melted and turned the auto insurance and registration papers into a goopy, cricket-y mess. I wish Golden Hing sold insect pops. But anyway.)

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To cap off the evening we ventured slightly deeper into Bed-Stuy to visit Sushi Tatsu, a restaurant that scored 55 violation points last fall. Not only that, they took hits for things like "cold food items stored at warm temperatures." It was well below freezing outside, so I could use a hot meal. Ideally, that hot meal wouldn't be sushi, but I wasn't picky.

After Golden Hing, Sushi Tatsu was a pleasant surprise. The restaurant was nicely decorated and the waitstaff were friendly. They even brought me a massive Sapporo and even poured it in a glass for me. I was sure the food was going to be fine. But I was sorely mistaken.

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The sushi looked good, but so does the plastic toy sushi decorating plates in those fake dining rooms at IKEA—and those probably taste better. The salmon was manageable, but the tuna had a waxy residue all over it, like the chef had slathered it in Chapstick to soothe my weather-damaged lips. I downed my Sapporo, but the sushi stayed where it was. For once, the Health Department may have been right when it slapped a giant "C" on this window.

It was a gelatinous bile, looking vaguely like the melted remains of that cricket lollipop.

That was the official end of my experiment, and I didn't feel any worse for wear after my risky feasting. I even went to a show that night. But things took a turn around 1 AM, when I was standing outside the venue. Without warning, I threw up right there on the sidewalk, an outpouring of gelatinous bile that looked vaguely like the melted remains of that cricket lollipop. I can't say it was food poisoning—eating five different ethnic cuisines one after the other would make anybody queasy. Plus, I'd just bounced around in a crowd for an hour and drank an entire row of sweating, firetruck-red Tecates. I probably can't blame my yakking on the food.

I finally ended up at home around two, purged and empty. I was hungry, in fact. So I made my way to the bodega next to my house and bought a cheesesteak with extra jalapenos. I'm not sure if the guy wore gloves or what condition the grill was in or whether he dropped the hero on the floor—all I know is I inhaled its 12 greasy inches on my walk back to my apartment. Then I slept.

Follow River Donaghey on Twitter.

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