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Photo by Bruce Davidson/Magnum Photos

Magnum Photos is the photo cooperative founded in 1947 by Robert Capa, Henri Cartier-Bresson, David Seymour and George Rodger. VICE readers will know the name because of our "VICE Loves Magnum" series. As photo agencies go, the place is famously old-school, and, for better or worse, grounded in tradition and some vague but admirable principles about the photographic medium. So, it's a little surprising and maybe refreshing to see Magnum using Instagram to sell somewhat "affordable art" in the form of what their calling #MAGNUMSquare prints.

In honor or the 67th anniversary of the organization, Magnum is offering signed 6x6" prints for $100 during a 67 hour window. The sale is raising eyebrows in the photo world (their site crashed due to traffic when the sale launched on Tuesday), and some are wonder if the agency has found a way to unite its stodgy history with a young, Instagramming audience. "That the site crashed due to too much traffic is expressive of something I wouldn’t  have guessed," Magnum photographer Susan Meiselas told VICE, "it's something we're still sorting out as a society: when everything is available online, why do people still want to own physical photographs? In some ways, the sale will inform us about what people today find valuable to have." 

Last chance to nab one of these Magnum originals is Friday at 7AM EST. Here are some of our favorites from the 44 photographs on offer:

Photo by Bruno Barbey/Magnum Photos

Photo by Michael Christopher Brown/Magnum Photos

Photo by Rene Burri/Magnum Photos

Photo by Susan Meiselas/Magnum Photos

Photo by Richard Kalvar/Magnum Photos

Photo by Mark Power/Magnum Photos

Photo by Trent Parke/Magnum Photos

Designing board graphics for skateboard companies in the 90s was a sweet gig. The industry was still small, and seminal artists like Marc Mckee and Sean Cliver could get away with detailed illustrations of masturbating women and Satan decapitating babies with minimal backlash from lawyers or overprotective parents. Then the calendar flipped into the new millennium and skateboarding found itself bowing to big corporate sponsors and overzealous stage parents’ ideas of what was obscene. Suddenly racy and thought-provoking illustrations were replaced with boring, logo-driven graphics that anyone with a font catalog could produce. The great artists of the 90s found themselves reduced to drones. Their creative freedom had been stripped and they were forced to crank out mindless logo deck after mindless logo deck to pay the rent.

One of the few artists to make it through those dark times with his integrity relatively unscathed is Venice, California’s Todd Francis. Francis got his start in the esteemed art department of San Francisco’s Deluxe Distribution (makers of Real, Krooked, Anti-Hero, Spitfire, Thunder, Venture). He is responsible for the eagle and pigeon logos that have become synonymous with Anti-Hero, as well as a wealth of fucked up, edgy, and awesome graphics for more brands than I care to count.

This week Mark Batty Publisher releases Look Away: The Art of Todd Francis, a 96-page softcover collection of Todd’s favorite, most well known and never-before-seen graphics from his 20-plus-year career in keeping skateshops’ board racks looking interesting. I sat down with Todd in his Venice studio to discuss working with Julien Stranger, the hilarity of Hitler, homeless deity worship, and a number of other ridiculous topics.

VICE: How did you get into creating skateboard graphics?
Todd Francis: I grew up skateboarding around the Venice and Santa Monica area. I used to draw on my friends’ skateboard decks because I was the one kid in the neighborhood who could draw. My one friend, his actual name is Jimmy Ream, would press his own decks in woodshop. They were somewhere between a longboard and an 80s freak show shape. He’d bring them home and have me draw skeleton armies fighting on the decks. I don’t know if that counts, but years after that I went to college and got a degree in art and moved up to San Francisco and was lucky enough to start working at Deluxe at an entry-level art job. That was 1993. There were only two or three of us in the art room, so the difference between entry-level and art director was a couple firings. A couple people took the job and left, and a year or two later I was elevated to art directing at Deluxe. I was at the right place at the right time.

You’ve worked on all of Deluxe’s brands, but you’re best known as the Anti-Hero artist. How did that relationship develop?
It’s the perfect proof of dumb luck. I had been working at Deluxe for a year and half. Julien [Stranger] was riding for Real, and they offered him and [John] Cardiel the opportunity to start their own company. I was kind of the main person in the art room at the time, so they had no choice but to work with me. They didn’t really know me that well and we were trying to figure it out on the fly. It was literally, “Hey, we’re starting a skateboard company and we’re going to make decks, t-shirts, and stickers next week. What are you guys going to do?” So we just kind of pulled a bunch of shit out of our asses to start. Some of it was pretty bad. The most memorable of the early stuff were things that I didn’t do like Chris Johanson’s series that was unbelievably great, and then a tattoo series that Jef Whitehead did. Right off the bat we had to come up with a company logo, and the pigeon was one of the first things I did. The eagle, obviously, was the next  thing and I’ve been tied into that ever since. It’s an honor to be considered that Anti-Hero artist guy, but I’m one of a number.

What is it like to work with the enigmatic Julien Stranger?
It’s not a very sophisticated process… there are no board meetings. One of us will get an idea or write down a phrase and then text it to the other person. Or sometimes it’ll start with something that’s really bugging one of us, like, “Hey, I’m really pissed about yuppies thinking their newborn baby is the Christ-child. What can we do with that?” And then we’ll start bouncing ideas back and forth. I’d say usually the ideas start from a place of anger.

It seems like you and Julien are on the same page, but have you had any ideas that have been rejected?
Julien has really good taste with what his company should and shouldn’t do, so he’ll reject ideas that I might give to him that are half-baked, and I appreciate that. Of all the stuff we’ve ever done it’s never been me in a room coming up with everything. It’s one of us coming up with an idea, the other one will make it better, and then I’ll draw it. It’s definitely a team effort. I’m not about to take credit for a whole lot of greatness.

Why didn’t “Hitler on Ice” work?
“Hitler on Ice” did not make it to press this year because the rider who it was going to be for was a little worried about scaring off his sponsor, and he was probably right.

But I’ve always felt Hitler is an endless source of comedy.
Hitler is one of history’s great comedians. I see your point on that, but in this case I had to step back and roll with the rider’s decision that maybe now was not the time for “Hitler on Ice.”

Well, it makes sense. It would work better for the winter catalog. Do you come from a family of comedians? You have a dark humor about yourself. Or did you grow up in some sort of Gummo place that was full of the mutants you draw?
My great, great grandfather was Adolf Hitler, so it means I have a real insight into what’s funny and what’s not funny. No, I grew up in Venice, California, but both my parents have a good sense of humor.

What do they think when they see a drawing of Seal Boy, or a homeless guy shitting on the ground?
My dad thinks all of it is funny; he’s pretty tasteless. My mom appreciates it because I did it, and while she might not think all of it is funny, she doesn’t find any of it upsetting or think it casts a shadow across the family. I’m still around every Thanksgiving. She just knows I’m a little different.

Do you catch any backlash on social media for the work you do, since everyone is a   goddamn critic these days? Or are you mostly preaching to the choir?
I only do Instagram, and people on there typically already know what I’m about so they tend to be, if not fans, than at least accepting. Even when it’s “Santa and the Holocaust” or something that’s really fiery, I don’t usually wind up catching a lot of hell from social media.

“Santa and the Holocaust” is one of my favorites. I have it hanging in my bedroom. How did that idea come about?
For a number of years I would hand paint a different Christmas card, and the theme each year was Santa Vs. the elves. I’d make 100 of them and just send them out to friends and people I wanted to work with. I don’t think I ever got a single job from a Santa vs. elves card. It started with Santa and the elves in a professional wrestling ring, where he’s brawling with a bunch of them. Then one year I was like, This is all cute and funny, but let’s see how far I can go with it. And the Holocaust, of course, being the wellspring of laughs that it is, seemed like the obvious choice. Friends of mine got mad but I don’t really care.

You’ve made a living off creating skateboard graphics for 21 years. How is that possible? I always thought doing board graphics was a lower level of starving artist than a starving artist.
It probably is. I guess I’ve been lucky enough to not run out of ideas so I haven’t been thrown out yet. But yeah, there’s a certain starvation factor that came into play. During the years at Deluxe I did it because it was a job creating art, and those kinds of jobs were so few and far between. I guess I’m addicted to that mentality of really enjoying what you do, having creativity and no restrictions. All you can hope to do in life is have a job that’s fun. Maybe I’m not putting a down payment on a yacht next week but I’ve managed to be comfortable my whole life.

Out of the shit ton of graphics you’ve done over the years, what’s your personal favorite?
That’s a tough one because there are so many, and there are a lot of shitty ones in there too. But for me the one that comes to mind is “Nature’s Revenge” for Anti-Hero. It was a K-9 graphic where a German Shepherd is attacking its policeman owner. I always liked that one because it’s very immediate. I love the green we chose for it, and it’s a very simple image that tells a great story.

What’s your take on the boring, logo-driven era of skateboard graphics that we are currently living through?
I think it’s a combination of two things: You have a lot of companies that are playing it safe and also being lazy. They’d rather a big, clean logo sell the company to an army of little robots whose parents want safe and clean graphics. I think it’s boring. I think in a lot of cases these companies are run by people who are getting up there in years, and maybe they aren’t as creative as they once were or have run out of ideas. If they can continue to sell decks with just a logo and a name then they’re going to do that, because they’re worried about mortgages instead of statements. Maybe I have some of those concerns, but I’d rather be proud of making a statement or an unusual message, even at the cost of working in an industry that’s not exactly going to buy me a helicopter. I don’t think there has ever been a better time for a company to stand out by doing original, thought-provoking shit, because most companies currently aren’t.

For more from Todd Francis visit his website and order a copy of his book here. If you happen to live in any of the fine cities listed on the flyer below, go get your book signed by Todd and say hi while you're at it.

More stupid can be found at ChrisNieratko.com or @Nieratko.

Photo by Mircea Topoleanu

When I graduated high school in 1998, our prom took place in a restaurant in the Romanian seaside. We didn't have the internet back then, so we had to make our dresses ourselves, copying those worn by celebrities in magazines. We did our best to be elegant, but all we had at our disposal were fabrics from leftover communist clothes from the 1980s, which were (at best) a pale grayish color.

So it makes sense then that when I recently found myself at the prom of Saint Sava High School—one of the oldest and most prestigious in Bucharest—I couldn't take my eyes off the glamorous girls in attendance. The event took place at the grand National Palace of the Military, where the photographers almost outnumbered the schoolkids. The whole thing felt like a red carpet event, so I figured I should interview some of the girls.

VICE: Is this what proms are like these days in Romania?
Roxana: Yeah, it's our 12th grade banquet so everybody has to be elegant—it's our time to shine.

Did you get any instructions on how you should dress?
No, we all dressed the way we wanted. I bought this dress especially for this occasion, but I don't think I'll ever wear it again. It's terrible, you have to stand straight and even with heels on, I still step on it. And on top of everything, it's raining.

So you bought this dress partly for you, and partly for everybody else.
Exactly. Don’t tell anybody I said so, but proms are for taking pictures. It's the students' time to look good and show everyone how beautiful we are.

How did you prepare for the banquet?
There's a store near where I live, which is where I bought the dress—it didn't cost a lot but I'm pleased with it. I went to get my makeup done, I did my hair myself, and I tried not to eat too much today.

VICE: How did you prepare for the ball?
Miruna: Like all girls—I tried on all sorts of dresses, and hired someone to do my makeup and my hair. I think the girls at Saint Sava are the most beautiful in all of Bucharest.

Did your headmaster tell you what to wear?
No. We just consider ourselves to be the elite of Bucharest.

Where did you buy your dress?
It was custom-made—the whole thing took three weeks. The concept was ”something wow.”

What makes it "something wow"?
My attitude.

What's going to happen tonight?
I don't know. I don't think there will be a band, it will just be like any other prom.

VICE: How long did it take to make this dress?
Casandra: One week. I got it from the tailor right as she was sewing these things on. It was inspired by the work of Elie Saab, who is a Lebanese designer.

I see you have laurels in your hair, are you an Olympic athlete or something?
No, these are just for the photos.

VICE: Will you ever wear this dress again?
Georgiana: I actually thought about that and I'm not sure. Maybe at some special occasion.

I saw that some of you came in limos.
Yeah, we formed groups and collected money from everyone. It costs a €100 ($135) an hour, which I thought was pretty decent.

What do you want to study in college?
Psychology.

VICE: Where are you going to study next year?
Diana: I got an offer from the University of Edinburgh but I'm afraid to leave because I would have to be on my own. So I might just study engineering here.

Was your dress custom-made?
Sort of. I got it from a Romanian designer I really like—her name is Elena or Ella. She had already made it, and I was lucky because all she had to do was to tighten it around the waist. I like it because it's long and elegant with a strong note of femininity.

VICE: How did you prepare for the ball?
Maria: Pretty quickly. I found the dress the day before yesterday, at a boutique downtown. It's just the right color.

Are parties at Saint Sava always so elegant?
The ball is a special occasion; it's our last time together.

Where are you going after this?
I am going to Germany to study Japanese and I also want to study music at the conservatory.

What will happen tonight?
I don't know. I've never been to a ball before. We'll probably have fun.

After your parents go home.
Probably.

VICE: How long did it take you to get ready for tonight?
Adelina: The hardest part was finding the right dress. It took about a month because I had to try it on five times. I didn't really want this style, but the designer insisted.

Will you ever wear this dress?
Yes, at weddings or christenings.

Tell me one thing you won't miss from high school.
Math. It was very unpleasant for me.

Did you come in a limo?
I know that this is the latest fad, but I wanted to be brought by my family so we could take some pictures.

VICE: What will you not miss from high school?
Miruna (left) and Cristina (right: Chemistry, maybe, because of the teacher. He's horrible.

Do the teachers dress as elegantly as you?
Yep, some even more so than us.

What kind of dress did you want?
Cristina: A dress that someone would wear on the red carpet. I wanted something red and backless because I'm blonde. I found this in a mall.

Will you ever wear these dresses again?
Only if we have them shortened.

Who do you want to dance with tonight?
With the history teacher—he's the cutest and most open-minded of them all.

Spain got a new king yesterday. His name is Felipe VI and he has a hot wife—just like Prince William, only William is still a prince so I guess Felipe wins. Anyway, loads of people took to the streets of Madrid on Thursday to celebrate that, including photographer Felipe Hernández who sent us those few photos and words:
 
"The truth is that when Real Madrid or Atletico win, there's way more people on the street. Other than that, the centre of the city smelled like horseshit and everywhere you looked you saw police. But they looked pretty bored (there really weren't that many people on the street) and most of them spent the time playing with their mobile phones.

I did however overhear a few weird conversations: "Madrid looks so beautiful with all these flags around. We should keep them around forever," said a 20-year-old in a polo shirt and loafers, while holding a little Spanish flag that carried the logo of the Spanish version of HELLO magazine. "This did not happen in Franco's time—people had enough respect to show up back then," said an old man at the Plaza de Oriente.

All photos via Twitter.
You've probably already heard of the free cash campaign in San Francisco, where an anonymous individual tweeted out clues to help people find envelopes stuffed with greenbacks. Well, that kind of viral charity campaign has caught on in Canada. It started in Vancouver with an account called @HiddenCashYVR that was planting $100 bills all around the city. But, since we're talking about Vancouver here, it wasn't very long before someone had the idea to stash weed around town as well. And thus, on June 4, Hidden Weed YVR was born.

Unfortunately, since Canadian law enforcement seem to think marijuana is Satan’s flower, the complimentary cannabis bonanza has been met with finger-wagging warnings from Canadian authorities; along with the threat of a drug trafficking charge. Vancouver’s nameless weed fairy recognized the threat and, slinking deeper into the shadows of anonymity, watched the operation grow.

Dozens of clues and 14 prizes (and counting) later, Hidden Weed YVR has inspired a replica in Toronto that has spiraled into an activist campaign, which encourages conversation about prohibition and criminalization. Clarifying the purpose of their mission, Hidden Weed YVR spoke to VICE to explain that, as much as its cash and beer predecessors, their first intention is to share and have fun. 

VICE: Why are you doing this?
Hidden Weed YVR: Because it's fun, and I believe that cannabis is a wonderful plant that should be shared.

How did Hidden Weed YVR start?
I saw Hidden Cash and decided to do Hidden Weed. It seemed like a fun idea. I got my Twitter account before Hidden Beer got started, but I think he hid his first beer before I hid my first buds.

How do you choose your hiding spots?
I try to spread them around the city, in places where no one will find it by accident. If I can think of a good clue for a particular spot, then that helps too.

Are you worried you’re going to get caught?
Not really. The VPD have better things to do, and they're pretty tolerant of cannabis here. There's a risk, but I don't think I'm risking jail. It's just fun, it makes people happy even if they never actually find any cannabis. It makes me feel good inside to share with others.

One of the main concerns by authorities is that children will find it, are you worried about that?
I hide it where it won't be found by accident. Only someone actively looking will find it. They're usually found within 15-30 minutes of me tweeting a clue.

Have you ever thought of expanding across Canada?
I see there's a @HiddenWeedYYZ for Toronto. That's got nothing to do with me, but I'm glad to see it spreading! I won't be flying across the country myself hiding weed in different cities though, others will need to take the initiative if it's going to spread nationwide.

The response from law enforcement to Hidden Weed has been pretty different from the beer and cash hunts. How are you handling the backlash?
I am a supporter of legalization. By celebrating cannabis with this little game, and encouraging regular people to out themselves on Twitter by following me and posting when they find a prize, I hope that in some small way, @HiddenWeedYVR is helping to contribute to the legalization of cannabis in Canada.

What’s the best strain of weed?
It's a matter of personal preference and desired effect. Strain is only one part of the equation. More important is how it was grown. 

I noticed you give out Bubba Kush, Pink Kush, and Nebula. What’s the difference?
They're all good.

Is one better than the other?
Is vanilla better than chocolate? Depends on your personal preference.

What do you think would happen if someone started hiding other drugs like MDMA or cocaine?
I don't know. I won't be doing that. Cannabis is safer than those substances, and also easier to tell if it has been adulterated. White powders are very difficult to tell the purity, adulterants or safety. I might smoke some buds left anonymously, but I wouldn't be taking a pill or a powder under those conditions.

HiddenWeedYVR has definitely sparked a dialogue about prohibition. What do you want to add to the conversation?
Marijuana should be legalized and regulated like alcohol. If my fun game helps normalize cannabis a little bit more and brings us slightly closer to legalization, then I'm happy.

What do you get out of doing this?
The satisfaction of spreading some fun and happiness is all the reward I need.

Do you have an end date in mind?
All things must come to an end one day, but I haven't really planned that far ahead. As long as I'm having fun with it then I'll keep hiding cannabis around town.

@claudiamcneilly

Photo via Andrew Weaver.
In an odd age when climate scientists deal with more beef than 90s gangster rappers, Dr. Andrew Weaver is a polarizing character. Beloved by many in left-leaning political circles and scientific communities, Canada’s leading climate change expert often finds himself under fire from social conservatives. Not one to pull a punch, he has learned to duck and weave the shots thrown his way from varying factions of the right-wing establishment and its mainstream media outlets.

Weaver is an academic with abounding accolades. He is the lead author of four of five UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) scientific assessments, the author of two books on the topic, Canada Research Chair in climate modeling at the University of Victoria and deputy leader of the Green Party of British Columbia. Yet, even in his new role as politician, Weaver continues to be a man with nearly as many foes as friends.

He was recently lambasted by Ethical Oil blowhard Ezra Levant and is entangled in a defamation lawsuit with the National Post. The case against the Post centres on the claim he never suggested two break-ins at his UVIC office in 2009 were part of a plan to hack into IPCC email at the University of East Anglia in England. Though he couldn’t discuss the particulars of the case, I caught up with Weaver, who was on route to Hamilton to receive an honorary doctorate from McMaster, to discuss his critics, pipelines, politics, and the weight of wearing the country’s climate change crown.

VICE: Most of the pipeline chatter of late has surrounded Enbridge’s Northern Gateway, but your focus has been on Kinder Morgan’s Trans Mountain project. How troubling is it that approval of the proposal would see an increase from 60 to over 400 oil tankers yearly departing from Vancouver harbour?
Dr. Andrew Weaver: Vancouver is trying to brand itself as the world’s greenest city, the most sustainable city in the world by 2020. The proposal, as well as a proposal for increased coal exports through Fraser Surrey Docks, is turning it into the world’s biggest fossil fuel exporter. You can’t have it both ways. What’s deeply troubling about the Kinder Morgan proposal is they plan to ship diluted bitumen. If diluted bitumen comes into contact with heavy sediments, it sinks, and we know there is no shortage of that in Fraser River. Also, there are tidal fronts there, the estuary front—it would be an unmitigated disaster if there were to be an oil spill in one of the most beautiful places in Canada.

You’re the only MLA in British Columbia with intervenor status in the National Energy Board’s hearings on Trans Mountain. What exactly does that role entail?
As an intervenor I’m allowed to ask questions, and my team and I put together about 500 questions that we put to Kinder Morgan… that allows us to put in a final submission to the National Energy Board with respect to whether or not this is in the interest of British Columbians. We analyzed thousands of pages and it’s very clear that Kinder Morgan does not understand what would happen—there’s no scientific understanding of what would happen—in the case of a diluted bitumen oil spill in the coastal waters. There’s a lot of work to be done before we can even contemplate this.

Canadian National Railway reported recently that revenue from petroleum and chemicals rose 23 percent. Do you fear the anti-pipeline movement could be bolstering the push to move and export oil by rail?
There’s no question that that’s the case. Under the common carrier obligation rail companies essentially cannot say no if they’re being asked to ship oil by rail. The problem with that is we all know oil by rail is far less safe than pipeline. But why are we shipping diluted bitumen? Nobody wants diluted bitumen. Refined products are far less damaging—upgrading and piping synthetic crude is a far safer than piping diluted bitumen. Shipping gasoline is safer than shipping diluted bitumen. And jobs and economic benefits are in Canada if we were to upgrade in Alberta and ship refined products.

You testified at a hearing in your lawsuit against the National Post that the fossil fuel industry’s nefarious campaign to undermine climate science was to blame for the IPCC hacking. Are similar campaigns still underway?
I wouldn’t blame the fossil fuel industry, per se. Libertarians, individuals who are wealthy, there’s a diversity of groups… yes it is happening still but I think to a lesser extent. I’ve had lobbyists come to see me before. Lobbying is alive and well in Canada, and vested interests lobby for their interest. It is always going on.

Sun Media’s resident instigator Ezra Levant called you a bully claiming “he loves to use oil and gas himself, jetting around the world, using fossil fuels for his very important life, while telling the rest of us not to.” How do you react to that criticism?
I think that when most people look at what he’s writing, they think it’s outlandish. The reality is if he’d actually ever spoken to me. What I would say is that I’ve never said we need to ban fossil fuels. We have a big problem—the problem of climate change, global warming I call it—and the reality is we know what’s causing it, the combustion of fossil fuels. What we should be doing is thinking about ways forward, not ignoring the problem. How do you do that? You internalize externalities; you introduce market measures like carbon pricing; you start to eliminate subsidies for an area [the oil industry] that doesn’t need it; you start to diversify your economy into tomorrow’s economy. I’m not saying we can’t drive cars—I’m in a car right now, it’s a little tiny Fiat. It doesn’t mean we can’t drive cars, it means we should be trying to move towards driving cars that are not as polluting.

Is it at times as much a gift as a curse being considered Canada’s leading climate change expert?
Yes and no. If there’s an issue that you don’t like and there’s a person who you believe is associated with that issue, if you try to take out the person or attack the person, you can hope that the issue goes with it. It’s a sad testament of our times when science is the inconvenience and, rather than deal with the science, you attack the individual. But I don’t think about that stuff. I just do what I believe passionately in and I don’t worry about what people think about me, in terms of whether I’m an expert or not in the subject. I just do my thing.

You were the first Green Party member elected to a legislative assembly in Canadian history and took that title running on a platform of climate change. Were you surprised to win Oak Bay-Gordon Head, which was considered a Liberal stronghold before your victory?
It had been Liberal for 17 years and it was a sitting cabinet minister in that riding. People want change and they want to have something to vote for, they want you to provide a vision. And I provided a vision—we provided a vision as a party—to actually build tomorrow’s economy on renewable energy. I ran on a campaign of hope, offering solutions and viable options. It [the race] wasn’t close, so I was overwhelmed.

Now that you’re in a position of political power, how do intend on continuing to push the environmental agenda forward in the BC legislature?
You try to make the point that it’s not about the economy or environment or social programs. They are inherently coupled. So what you do is talk about the economic opportunity associated with the environment. I don’t just say no to coal. I say no to coal and yes to container transport. I don’t just say no without providing an alternate. The way to do it, and it continues to be successful, is focusing on solutions. Tomorrow’s economy does think about the environment. 

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: The Perry Family

Screencaps via CBS Boston

The incident: A family was told they were not allowed to bring knives into an amusement park.

The appropriate response: Nothing. Why on earth would you be allowed to bring a knife into an amusement park?

The actual response: They attacked two cops and started a mini riot.

On Monday, five members of the Perry family attempted to visit Canobie Lake Amusement Park in Salem, New Hampshire.

At least two members of the family had hunting knives attached to their belts as they tried to enter the park. Predictably, a member of staff told them they were not allowed to take the knives into the park, and would have to leave them in their car. 

This didn't sit too well with the family, who reportedly became "belligerent" and launched a "swear-filled tirade" against the staff member. 

Two police officers who were already at the park tried to intervene. After giving several verbal warnings to the family, an officer told a male member of the family that he was under arrest and attempted to handcuff him. 

As he placed the cuffs on the man, the rest of the family attacked, jumping on the officers' backs, punching them, kicking them, and attempting to grab their weapons. Both officers were injured. One had to be treated for a dislocated shoulder. 

When backup arrived and moved to arrest everyone, the mother of the family faked a seizure. She was examined by paramedics at the scene, who concluded she was a massive fucking liar. 

The family was charged with a range of crimes including felony riot, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. 

Cry-Baby #2: Megan Elizabeth Everett

The incident: A woman didn't want her daughter to be vaccinated or taught about black people at school.

The appropriate response: Ceasing being a moron.

The actual response: She kidnapped her daughter. 

Megan Elizabeth Everett (pictured above left) and Robert Baumann have a two-year-old daughter together named Lily (above right.) Megan and Robert share 50/50 custody of the child. 

Or they did up until May 6, when Megan kidnapped Lily.

The last time Robert saw his daughter was when he dropped her off at Megan's home in Sunrise, Florida on May 6. As per the terms of their shared-custody agreement, Megan was meant to return the child a week later. 

She never showed up. Instead, she left a note for Robert, which, according to the Sun Sentinel, read:

"You are a great dad. If I let them take her and vaccinate her and brainwash her, I wouldn't be doing what's right. I cannot let a judge tell me how my daughter should be raised. We will miss you. But I had to leave."

The word "great" was underlined.

There is currently a warrant out for the arrest of Megan on charges of interference with custody, kidnapping, and concealing a minor contrary to court order. 

The Sun-Sentinel reports that Megan went off the rails when she became involved with a new boyfriend, whom they describe as a "Confederate-flag-waving gun enthusiast."

"One of the issues we had was, she wanted to homeschool my daughter," Robert, the kidnapped girl's father, told the paper. "She didn't want Lilly to learn about black history. She just wanted her to learn about the Confederacy."

Robert had planned to enroll his daughter in preschool the next time he had her. He also planned to have her vaccinated. "She found this new idea that vaccines are horrible," he said. 

"In the state of mind my daughter is in, Lily would be better off with Robert," Megan's mom, Pam Everett said.

After Robert reported Lilly's disappearance, Sunrise Police went to Megan's last known address, where they found her new boyfriend. 

He told them that Megan and Lily were gone and "not coming back." According to court documents, "[he] informed detectives that [Megan] knew she would have to live her life as a fugitive... However, in her mind, the time that she spent with her daughter 'free' of Baumann would be 'worth it,' regardless of how brief it was."

Megan and Lilly are currently still missing. 

Which of this lot is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll, please:

Previously: Some women who got mad because they were fined for littering vs. a school that suspended a kid for accidentally bringing in a toy gun.

Winner: The cigarette ladies!!!

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter

Illustration by Sofya Levina

Back in 2010, rapper and Harlem native Smoke DZA started the Smokers Club with Jonny Shipes, Steve-O, SHiest BUbz, and Bud Guru. The goal was “to share their love of weed culture and music with the rest of the world.” It was a collective mission to unite potheads across the globe under one roof with good music and better weed. For that first tour in 2010, they brought along budding (at the time) bud-loving rappers like Wiz Khalifa, Dom Kennedy, and Curren$y.

The tour—helmed by Smoke DZA in support of his Substance Abuse, Substance Abuse 1.5: The Headstach, and George Kush Da Button mixtapes—began on the East Coast with crowds of 400. By the time they made it out West, the packed houses reached 1,200 people. Now, the Smokers Club is a full-fledged community of kush and music lovers around the world complete with a growing list of affiliated rappers, a record label, and a clothing line. If you’re a smoker who’s into rap, or a rapper who’s into smoke, there is a place for you in the Smokers Club.

So it didn’t come as a surprise when Smoke DZA rolled up to our interview in a Jeep Wrangler reeking of green before he even opened the door. Once he did though, the sun sparkled playfully off of the Bob Marley chain hanging over his Patrick Ewing Knicks Jersey, as he took a couple tokes of from an almost finished blunt and came to sit next to me on the stoop of his Harlem Brownstown.

Smoke DZA’s third and most recent album Dream.ZONE.Achieve—what DZA actually stands for—came out in April, but the day we met in early May, he was preparing for his album release show at New York’s SOBs by running errands, shopping at Denim & Supply, and stopping by his jeweler. Although DZA made a name for himself with mixtapes like Rolling Stoned, he claimed that with this latest release, he’s ready to move onto his next chapter, beyond his weed-smoking persona.

Surrounded by the sweet summery May breeze and overlooking an ice cream truck down the block, it was the perfect day to talk about smoking lots and lots of weed with the self-proclaimed kush god. 

VICE: How does the Smokers Club work?
Smoke DZA: It’s as a hub for all official smokers and potheads around the globe to come party and smoke pot together. Potheads attract good potheads, especially potheads that smoke good weed. Everywhere I go around the world, I got friends that have a particular strain. It wasn’t hard because the cannabis world is so connected. It just happens organically. Weed brings everybody together.

What’s your favorite strain?
OG Kush. It’s more of an indica. I like hard weed and that distinctive taste.

What does it taste like?
It tastes like coffee. OG Kush smells like Folgers. It’s better than coffee.

But does it wake you up?
Yeah, it wakes you up. I do it when I wake up. It puts me right in my zone—that’s the best.

How old were you the first time you smoked?
I might’ve been like 13 the first time I smoked some trash.

Do you remember the first time you got high?
I’ll tell you about the first time I smoked good weed. It was in 7th grade with my man Jose, God rest his soul. He used to live on Audobon Ave. That’s where all the good weed was back then—all the purple haze and stuff. He was Spanish so he calls it pudé. He used to be like, Yo don’t bring none of that porcada—that’s what they called dirt—cuz we got the pudé. I smoked with him at around 9:30 AM and I was high until 4PM. It was one of those highs where I was riding the bus going home at the end of the day like, Am I ever going to come down? I was panicking because I was going home to my mom’s. That was the first time I smoked good weed.

And the first time you freaked out?
The first time I caught the shakes.

How’d you get over it?
I think I might’ve just ate mad snacks—I had the crazy munchies. I went home and I ate them off and I think I might’ve fell asleep and then I woke up and I was cool.

Where do you get good weed around here now?
I’m the kush god so the good weed just comes to me. It just grows off the trees. When I touch the tree bark, cannabis flows out to me. It starts budding.

How do you become a kush god?
You become a kush god by knowing what you're smoking, by other people knowing what you smoke, by you smoking nothing but what you say you smoke. That’s the trinity. The three steps.

Where’s the best place to learn about weed?
I educated myself through travelling. I spent a lot of time in LA before I actually was rapping about weed like that. Purple haze and all that shit was on the market, so I’ve seen all types of weed come before my eyes. That’s the best way to learn what’s good and what’s bad.

Is that what you would recommend for other people?
Spend some time in LA and try to go to some dispensaries. Go to Denver, try to get into some dispensaries. Go to San Francisco.

What’s your favorite way to smoke weed?
Well I’m from New York, so I like smoking in Dutch Masters and I like smoking in raw papers.

What about spliffs?
Spliffs are a New York thing. Sprinkle a little tobacco on there and it goes straight to the head and gives you a cleaner way of smoking a blunt. I’m not a real fan of spliffs, but I smoke them from time-to-time with Dame. Dame Dash smokes spliffs. Harry Fraud smokes spliffs. I might indulge with them every now and then, but it’s not really my thing.

Are you into edibles?
I used to be a big fan of brownies. Me and Jonny Shipes used to bake brownies. We used to let the oil and the weed simmer for a few hours and get that shit nice and right and then we’d put it in the brownies and mix it all up. But I haven’t ate edibles in a long time. My last trip on brownies wasn’t too good. I drink, but I’m not a big drinker. I don’t like feeling drunk. I ate too many brownies and started to feel a little drunk. The body high started to turn into some other shit that I wasn’t fucking with.

What are your thoughts on legalization?
I think legalization is cool, but I’m more of a fan of decriminalization. I think if it’s decriminalized then that means anybody can just be smoking weed right here and you won’t get in trouble—no ticket, no nothing. Legalized is you actually have to get it from somewhere that’s approved. In New York, we don’t have dispensaries, so legalized wouldn’t do anything for us over here. Anyway, they can’t find a way to tax it, so it’ll probably be a little while before New York sees what that’s about.

I hear in Colorado they’re making billions of dollars on weed.
For sure. Colorado has great weed. Colorado is not California, but it’s something.

What will happen to all the drug dealers if it’s legalized?
A lot of people will be out because that’s the way they’ll make it legal. They’ll get the other guys out. In Harlem, it’s nothing but hustlers out here, so we’ll find a way. We’ll figure it out.

How do you stay motivated when you smoke so much weed?
Smoking weed is like meditation for me. I stay focused because of my grind. I have so many short term goals that I haven’t accomplished yet. I’m focused on my goals, so the weed don’t really stop me from doing what I got to do if I don’t have my goals accomplished. Plus, other than that, I have a family. I have a wife and kids that I have to provide for, so that always keeps me afloat to actually focus and do what I got to do.

How old are your kids?
I have two five-year-old twins and a 10-year-old son.

Would you smoke with them?
Nah, I don’t even smoke around them. Not right now.

Did you ever smoke with your parents?
By the time I started smoking, my dad stopped smoking.

That’s what you think.
My dad’s a pretty solid guy. We talk about too much for him to lie to me about smoking weed.

Do your parents care that you smoke so much?
They just don’t want me smoking in the street. My mom is like, You’re not over that, yet? When are you going to be over it?

But you’re a rapper! What are some of your goals?
One of them that I can say out loud is to score a major deal imprint for my company and all my friends that’s with me. That would be really fucking cool.

Definitely.
A lot of my goals I already accomplished. To be on television more—you might catch me here or there. It’s nothing wrong with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, those guys. I’m trying to really get on TV. I want to act. I want to do different things. I’m working on a movie about my life. It’s not actually a documentary. It’s not based on real events, but it’s little parts of real events that I’m trying to tie in. I’m working with Dame on it.

Do you play Smoke DZA in it?
I don’t play Smoke DZA. I’m playing a character.

Are you going to film it in Harlem?
Of course.

Follow Lauren on Twitter

Bukowski with his wife, Linda, 1996. Photo via Getty Images

Regardless of your opinions on Bukowski—whether you think he was a no-talent nihilistic fuck-machine who ran on whores and anything with an ABV, the voice for a generation of post-war blue-collar workers fed up with the factories, or a combination of both—the fact that he is a large figure in Los Angeles’s literary history is undeniable. So a few years back, when we were working on an edition of the magazine devoted to Hollywood called the Showbiz Issue, I decided to reach out to Bukowski’s longtime publisher, John Martin. I wanted to try and cut through the folklore and figure out what the late “poet laureate of sour alleys and dark bars” was like in his daily life.

If there is one man alive who knew the real Charles Bukowski, it is Martin. Bukowski’s publisher for most of his career, Martin is the reason you know who the Buk is, and either love or hate him today. In 1965 Martin offered Bukwoski $100 per month, for the rest of his life, to quit his job at the post office and write full-time for his publishing house, Black Sparrow. Bukowski delivered, and Martin kept to his word, eventually paying him $10,000 every two weeks. He was the best man at Bukowski’s wedding, and represented a source of security in what was often a very unstable life.

In the end, despite getting some great stuff out of Martin (like the quote in the headline of this article), the interview didn’t run in the issue and was shelved for various reasons. Fast-forward to this month, when we published a fashion shoot titled "Bukowski’s Women" featuring a number of nubile young ladies dolled up like characters from the author’s novels. This seemed as good an excuse as any to unearth the interview with Martin, so that’s what we’re doing.

John Martin. Photo courtesy Kurt Rogers/SF Gate

VICE: Was Bukowski the sole reason you started Black Sparrow?
John Martin: Yes. I started Black Sparrow to publish Charles Bukowski. I’d seen his work in underground magazines, and I just became convinced—almost obsessively—that he was the new Walt Whitman. He was publishing these little tiny eight-, ten-, 12-page chapbooks in editions of 100 with small press publishers around the country who were basically just his fans—they weren’t really publishers at all. They didn’t make any attempt to distribute his books or anything like that.

In the beginning I had another job that I would work from 7:30 in the morning to 5:00 in the afternoon. Then I’d go home and have dinner with my wife and daughter before going to my Black Sparrow office at 7:00 and work until 12:00 or 1:00 AM. I did that for years. Eventually, around ’74, he [Bukowski] had just gotten so big I couldn’t handle it myself, and so I got an assistant and a book-packer.

Tell me about your initial deal with Bukowski. You agreed to give him $100 per month, right?
That’s a great moment in time for me and Bukowski, and, I think, for poetry. We sat down with a little piece of paper. I sat there with a pen, and he listed out all of his monthly expenses—and you’ve got to remember, this was 1965, when his rent was $35 a month. He had $15 in child support, $3 for cigarettes, $10 for liquor, and another $15 for food. And yet, even though that sounds pitifully small, at the time he was feeding himself and had nice clothes, drove a very old car, and lived in this completely or partially destroyed unit in East Hollywood. He could get along on $100 a month. I was only earning $400 a month, so I was giving him 25 percent of my income. But as soon as the thing took off we did much better.

At the very end, I paid him a retainer so I wouldn’t owe him some horrible amount of money. Eventually I paid him $10,000 every two weeks. So he went from $100 every month to $10,000 every two weeks, and then at the end of the year I’d make up whatever I still owed him. Later, the really big money came in when we started to sell his books for movies and stuff like that.

Were other novels, besides Factotum and Barfly, turned into screenplays?
Yes. They were sold but have never been made. Post Office was sold to Taylor Hackford way back in the early 70s, Ham on Rye was also sold… You’re kinda catching me off the cuff here… Factotum was sold, Women was sold to Paul Verhoeven, and Barfly of course was sold.

Do you think they’re going to make any in the future?
You know what? At this point, I could care less. I wanted to make Bukowski independent, and he died a millionaire. He was very frugal with his money and not at all ostentatious. I remember once I went with him to buy a new car, a BMW.  He walked in with his flannel pants and a flannel shirt and a pen in his breast pocket—he always carried a pin clipped into his breast pocket—and he skulked around until he found the car he wanted. The salespeople wouldn’t even look at him. Finally someone comes over and, in a very kind of sarcastic tone, says, “Can I help you, sir?” And he said, “Yeah, I decided I want this car.”

“Do you want to finance it?” The guy asked.

“No, I’ll give you a check.”

The salesman asked, “Now?” and Bukowski said, “Yes.” The guy was just flabbergasted, but suddenly the coffee and coffeecakes and donuts were produced and soft chairs came out from nowhere. They were all huddled around. He filled out the paperwork, wrote out the check, got in the car, and drove off.

Such a classic story. Was there ever a time when you were skeptical about giving this drunk guy a quarter of your money?
No. Never. I believed in him as much as he believed in himself. It was almost like a religious conversion, where a person can’t be dissuaded. They’re gonna go on that crusade on the back of a mule or whatever, regardless of anything. That’s the way I felt about publishing Bukowski.

How did Bukowski feel about having his books turned into screenplays? It seems like he had mixed feelings about Hollywood.
Well he makes fun of it in the novel Hollywood, but at the same time he was a guy who, before he went to work for the post office, had slept more than one night on a park bench. He was a guy who had been carted off to die in Los Angeles’s biggest hospital as a charity patient and almost bled to death. He was a guy who had worked—if you read Factotum—in a dog biscuit factory. He worked nights putting up those little placards in the subway cars, those little advertising placards that you slide into a slot. He worked in a framing shop framing pictures. I mean, he’d really been through the ringer.

Later, just by the power of his writing, he began to attract interesting and famous people to him, like Elliott Gould, Bono… his biggest fan was Sean Penn—he loved him. They were as close as two men have ever been. And those were sort of the spoils; you know what I mean? In the old days, medieval times, they would sack a city and then there were the spoils—all the jewelry and artworks and whatever—it belonged to the invading army. He had earned those spoils. Not that he ever looked down on anybody, but I can remember at one point Bono was giving a concert at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles and invited Bukowski and his wife to be his guests. He started the concert by saying, “This concert is for Charles Bukowksi.” And the crowd cheered! They knew who he was.

What was the Elliott Gould connection?
It’s another famous Bukowski story. Bukowski began to feel ill, he had a temperature and a cough. Gould said, “You’ve gotta see my doctor.” Took him over to Beverly Hills and the expensive Beverly Hills specialist checked him out and said, “You’re just run down. Take some vitamins and relax for a while.” He kept on having a temperature and a cough, and so Sean Penn took him to his doctor, who was another Beverly Hills specialist. The doctor looked him over and said, “I don’t see anything wrong. You’re just run down. Don’t stay up so late at work,” and that kind of thing. One day one of his cats—Bukowksi was a great cat-lover—got hurt in a fight. Bukowksi took it to a veterinarian near where he lived in San Pedro, which is a tough sailor area, and the guy fixed up the cat, bandaged it, and did whatever needed to be done. Bukowski told him, “You know, I’ve been to these two doctors, I feel terrible, I’ve got this cough, this fever,” the guy looks at him and says, “You’ve got tuberculosis.” The Beverly Hills doctors had never seen a case of tuberculosis! It’s a poor person’s disease. This was the vet—without even taking his temperature—looked at him, listened to his cough, and said, “Well, you’ve got tuberculosis.” So Sean Penn took him back to his doctor, who was thoroughly humiliated, and he was put on a regiment, and within a year he was OK.

I hope that veterinarian got a raise. Going back to those menial jobs, while they sounded like hell at the time, they did end up providing him with a lot of material.
He didn’t hate them as much as he was angry. In other words, a person who hates their job—that’s a small person. That’s a person without any character or self-knowledge. But you can be angry at being forced to go to a job, and that’s what he was, because he wanted to write.

How did his first novel, Post Office, come about?
This is a good story. So we made that deal in December for $100 a month—early December, as I recall—and so he gave notice to the post office, and his last day there was going to be December 31. He said, “OK, I’m going to work for you on January 2, because January 1 is New Year’s Day and I’m going to take that as a holiday. We thought that was really funny. About three or four weeks went by, I think it was still in January, or at worst the first week in February, and he called me—oh, and I had told him earlier, “If you ever think of writing a novel, that’s easier to sell than poetry. It would help if you could write a novel.”—so he called me up at the very end of January or the first week of February, out of the blue, and said, “I got it, come and get it.” I said, “What?” And he said, “My novel.” I said, “You’ve written a novel since I saw you last?” And he said, “Yes.” I asked how that was possible, and he said, “Fear can accomplish a lot.” And that novel was Post Office.

Do you think if you had met him when he was younger and offered him money to write full time, instead of working those jobs that he had to work, that his work would have suffered if he hadn’t had that experience?
You know, everything adds up to what we are and he needed every bit of what went on prior to becoming successful. It’s like Henry Miller, practically down and out in the streets in Paris. If he hadn’t had that experience, how could he have written Tropic of Cancer? Bukowski hit bottom again and again.  The only stable period in his life after he left home was during the few years that he worked at the post office. Because it was a job to go to every day, he had to be sober, he had to be on time, and yet he was just burning with this desire to write. Remember he had stopped writing at the end of the 40s and didn’t write for ten years—he was just on a ten-year drunk. And then at the end of the 50s, or the late 50s, is when he had the physical collapse, where he ended up in that hospital, bleeding from the rectum. He almost died.

Were you involved in the production of Barfly?
No. All I did was worry.

Why did you worry?
Because when he is surrounded by those people—Hank was not comfortable among people, in a crowd, even at a small gathering, he was a real loner. He wanted to get up in the morning, have a quick breakfast with his wife, read the paper, leave the house about noon, go to the track, come home at 6:00, have dinner about 7:00, go upstairs at 8:00, and write until two in the morning, and he wanted nothing to interfere with that routine. And he did that seven days a week. I mean, we spent time together, and he enjoyed being with Sean Penn, but I knew not to drop in on him every day—he would have hated it. He’d have been polite—he was the most polite man I’ve ever known, and the most honest man I’ve ever known. He was so deferential and polite and so concerned for your comfort, and whether you were happy or not, when you were with him.

That doesn’t always come across in his writing.
[laughs] It doesn’t come across at all. I mean, his public persona is very unlike the man.

How so, besides him being polite?
I knew him for what, 35 years or more? I never saw him drunk. Never once, never.

What? Really? Was he drinking a lot, just in moderation?
No, I think just the opposite. He was not drinking very often, but when he did he drank a lot. I mean he drank every day, and toward the end it was good wine. Remember, he lived to write, and just like lots of writers during the course of writing say between 8:00 in the evening and 2:00 in the morning he would sip wine, it kept him sort of greased.

Bukowski at a screening of 'Barfly,' November 4, 1987. Photo via WireImage

So he was more of a social drinker? He would just have enough to keep him loose throughout the day?
Right. Unless it was like during the filming of Barfly, when he was being invited to cast parties and playing a kind of cameo role in the movie and that sort of thing. He would just drink blindly because he was so frightened. I mean he was frightened of people.

So just to be clear, you knew him for 35 years but never saw him drunk. 
Well, I met him in ’65, he died in ’94, so no, about 30 years I knew him, and I never saw him drunk, no.

But when he was hanging out with these Hollywood types he was getting drunk.
Yes, but I wasn’t there. I was living in Santa Barbra. When he started to get really famous—I moved to Santa Barbra in ’75, and that’s when he really—I knew what was coming. I remember once going over there when he was living in this dump in East Hollywood, and he had this little apartment right on the street, ground floor, with a little porch. And on the porch was a couch, a beat-up old couch. I wouldn’t have even sat in it, it looked so dirty. Anyway, I went over to see him, and there, sitting on the couch are the two most beautiful little blonde girls. Small, gracious, tender little girls, you know? I thought, what the hell are they doing here? And so as I came up the porch one of them says, “You’re not Bukowski.” And I said, “No, but I’m going to meet him here in about ten or 15 minutes.” And she says, “Oh, we’ve come all the way from Holland to meet him.” I said, “Well, that’s very nice. He’ll be pleased to meet you,” or something lame.  And I said, “That’s an awful long way to come just to meet him.” And they said, “Oh, we want to fuck him.”

They were just that blunt about it, huh?
Yeah. They said they came all the way from Amsterdam to fuck Charles Bukowski.  

Did he come back and fuck them?
Ah, I doubt it. This was while he was writing Women, or just before. When he got there—I’m thinking about it—we all sat down and talked for about 15, 20 minutes, and when they saw that I wasn’t going to leave, they said, “Well we’ll come back later,” and he told me they never came back. So, I don’t know. They may have come back, he wouldn’t have told me.

Was Women a pretty accurate representation of the way he was living?
Oh, yeah. He wrote that in like ‘76 and ‘77, maybe ‘75, ‘76, ‘77. And I published it in ‘78. He would send me the manuscript chapter by chapter as he finished it, and after each chapter I’d have to sit down and compose myself and hope that it wasn’t all real.

Did you ask him how much of it was real?
I would just call him and say, “Are you OK? Are you behaving yourself?” Because, you know, he was always scrupulously on good behavior when I was around. Let’s face it: I became sort of the exit out of the life he’d had before. I have a thing I treasure framed on my wall. It’s just a piece of white paper, and he’s typed at the top:

Dear Johnny,

You’re the best boss I ever had.

And then a drawing of himself and signed, Henry Chinaski.

That’s great.
And every two weeks he got a check. I mean, I represented stability and hard work—because he knew how hard I was working at my end, and he appreciated it. So it was an ideal relationship. He used to call me up, and in this deep voice he’d say, Mr. Rolls, this is Mr. Royce.

Is that when the money was starting to come in?
Yes. I used to kid him: One day you’ll light your cigars with 50-dollar bills. He’d say, Only 50, what about 100? And this was a guy who, if he dropped a nickel, change in the street, he’d stop, walk over, pick it up and put it in his pocket. Not that he was tight, because he could be very generous with people, but he was frugal, he knew what it meant maybe to have only 20 or 30 cents in your pocket and be hungry.

Jonathan does not care about your opinions on Bukowski. Follow him on Twitter.

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is a pro when it comes to the game of ethnic politics. Photo via Flickr user Diana Robinson

In the spring of 1989, when New York City was still replete with porno theaters and squegee men and Spike Lee was taking advantage of Rosie Perez in Do The Right Thing, a 28-year-old investment banker at Solomon Brothers was brutally beaten and raped while jogging one night in Central Park. Back then, the local tabloids working themselves into a frenzy over some spectacularly grisly crime was a fairly common occurrence, with race never far beneath the surface. Two years earlier, a group of angry white youth had chased a black man to death after his car broke down in what became known as the Howard Beach incident (they forced him into traffic on a busy highway, where he was hit by another car). But this latest outrage really struck a chord, with seemingly every media outlet in the City, from the Village Voice to the New York Times, largely buying the police narrative about the Central Park Five—the black and Hispanic teenagers the NYPD coerced into a confession.

The affair resurfaced in the media in 2002, when District Attorney Robert M. Morgenthau reopened the case and overturned all five convictions after Matias Reyes, an actual monster and serial rapist, admitted to the whole thing. The kids may have committed other felonies that night, and even beaten a man—and they had seemingly confessed to the rapes on tape—but they did not assault the woman in question, who was beaten within an inch of her life and spent 12 days in a coma.

Of course, by the time the powers that be recognized their mistake, the boys had already served between seven and 13 years in prison. Naturally, they pursued legal action, only to be rebuffed by Michael Bloomberg, Gotham's recently departed billionaire mayor, who staunchly resisted a deal for more than a decade. Now, 25 years after the fact, the Central Park Five are poised for some sweet justice: The City has tentatively agreed to a settlement worth $40 million, it was reported late Thursday, or about $1 million for each year served—well above the national average for exonerations.

In addition to heralding a major upgrade in lifestyle for the not-so-young-anymore men whose lives were upended, the settlement represents a victory for NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio, who had signaled he would reverse the City's stance on a settlement and strike a deal as soon as possible. For a man whose biracial family is a key part of his political identity (and who made reducing racial tension a rather explicit part of his pitch to voters), dishing out some cash and implicitly acknowledging the NYPD fucked this one up is priceless. After all, this isn't just some obscure historical event, but a real miscarriage of justice kept alive in part by a 2012 documentary Ken Burns made about the case in collaboration with his daughter, Sarah. The settlement will resonate with everyone from the gilded liberals toiling away at investment banks in Manhattan to the projects in the outer boroughs, seemingly confirming de Blasio's commitment to the principle of justice—even if his NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton is still doing reactionary stuff like arresting way too many black and Hispanic kids for smoking pot.

It will take more than settling this case and others like it to assuage the concerns of the mayor's supporters about the sprawling reach of New York City's law enforcement regime. But as far as symbolic gestures that also have a tangible impact go—the settlement must first be approved by the city comptroller and a judge—this one stands out. Perhaps the mayor will find a way to milk the moment for all its worth with some kind of public spectacle given his background as a political strategist who knows how to use acts of theater to connect with liberal-minded urbanites on a visceral level. It's not an economic change like providing universal pre-K to the city's children, but somehow I suspect de Blasio hasn't been riding quite this high since Bill and Hillary Clinton coronated him in January. 

Follow Matt Taylor on Twitter.

Tings Chak from the End Immigration Detention Network in front of the Public Services Canada building in Ottawa where activists shut down the building last weekend. Photo courtesy the End Immigration Detention Network.
Over 100 detained migrants in Canada are boycotting their only chance for release. They say the system is rigged, and they're willing to give up a chance for freedom to make the point.

The system in question is Canada's immigration detention system, and its business is policing migrants without permanent residence status. Migrants include people claiming refugee status, or undocumented people or people who’ve had their status revoked. They’re detained by the Canadian Border Services Agency on three grounds; they’re a danger to the public, unable to prove their identity, or seem unlikely to appear for immigration proceedings.

Last year between 7,373 and 9,932 migrants were detained. Just over 200 of them were children.

There’s no time limit on migrant detention; the only mechanism reviewing individual cases are detention reviews, a standard process administered by the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada where each detained migrant's case is reviewed monthly after initial processing to determine whether Canada should deport them, continue to hold them or release them.

These detention reviews are the focal point of some migrants’ boycott campaign. It was organized by detainees and spans three Ontario maximum security prisons, where immigration detainees are held once centres run out of room.

The campaign comes after a year of rising tension; a 65-day hunger strike took place in Ontario detention centres last fall, and the death of a Mexican migrant in detention in a Vancouver centre prompted outcry for an investigation of the system.

Detainees participating in the boycott say they odds are against them, the system is unfair, unjust and they see no way out. And their claims have legs.

A new report, based on access to information requests gathered over the course of seven months, shows trends that where you are in Canada and which IRB official presides of your case determines your chance of being released. 

The report was written by the End Immigration Detention Network, a working group of No One is Illegal Toronto. They began to file access to information requests in October 2013, a month into the detainees' fall hunger strike. The documents date from 2008 to 2013.

According to the report, rates of release from detention varies between province and between IRB members. The decision over whether a detainee will be released or remain in detention is up to the IRB member reviewing the case. Whether deportation happens or not is the CBSA’s job to determine.

For each year the group obtained data (2008, 2012 and 2013), the rate of release decreased. Currently, the national average rate of release is 15 percent. In the western and eastern regions the rate hovers at 27 and 24 percent respectively. In Ontario, the rate is 9 percent. The rate for Ontario was 21 per cent in 2008.

For researcher Syed Hussan, the documents add up to one conclusion. "Somebody is instructing or something is making these politically-appointed board members release less people each year. "

"The report is... making a very groundbreaking claim. We’re saying that there are signs of political interference in what must be a fair arbitration process where individuals are judged based on the merits of their case."

Immigration consultation Macdonald Scott has represented about 12 detainees since 1998. He supports the report's conclusion that interference is occurring and worked with NOII and the End Immigration Detention Network to gather documents for the report.

"The rates had dropped in such an alarming way in the last three to five years that I don’t know what else could say it... That wouldn’t happen just because Board members are waking up more cranky every day."

"The Board members are getting a signal that they have to not let people go."

But none of the documents obtained show a paper trail of interference, a fact that doesn't necessarily rule out the claim but makes the claim harder to prove—particularly when the IRB denies claims of any interference.

"Contrary to the allegations made by the End Immigration Detention Network, there is no 'policy or decision to systematically reduce detention release rates' by the Immigration Division," read the IRB's statement to VICE. "ID members are independent and not subject to political interference or influence."

Hussan maintains that there are other methods of interfering "outside of the transparency of what is supposed to be a transparent system" without leaving a paper trail.

"This is analogous to if people who are going through the criminal justice system coordinated a boycott of the entire court system in the context of a report coming out showing political interference in the judges. This is a massive scandal."

NOII and the End Immigration Detention Network are appealing to everyone, particularly Parliamentarians, to ask the Harper government to explain the trends the report shows. Last week a series of actions and demonstrations were organized by both groups in Ottawa.

The boycott of detention reviews is set to continue until June 30. The results of the boycott remain to be seen. Scott expects the real outcomes for detainees taking part in boycott to become apparent next month, when they appear for their next detention review.

@EK_Husdon

Welcome to another edition of This Week in Racism. I’ll be ranking news stories on a scale of one to RACIST, with “one” being the least racist and “RACIST” being the most racist.

–Emojis—the text icons that have quickly become the most popular communications craze humanity has seen since the Gutenberg Bible—are getting a much needed update. Sure, when you want to explain to a friend/coworker/family member that you just painted your nails or saw a giant turd shaped like a pile of ice cream with eyes and a mouth on the sidewalk, that is taken care of. But what about when you need to tell someone that you're against all forms of piracy?

Lucky for you the emoji update—250 new emjois in all—has finally encapsulated all of human experience in just a few colorful, eye-catching graphics... unless you're a minority.

Despite the repeated demands of non-white text message enthusiasts all across the world, the emoji update doesn't have a single new brown or black face. There's still the cheerful, young Sikh boy in the turban, who presumably is supposed to stand in for all non-white/non-cartoon yellow humans. Also, there's the gay emojis, which everyone loves and are fantastic. Look at how cute they are! Seriously. I'm into the gay emojis.

The Unicode Consortium, a non-profit which regulates computer text coding standards, has not issued a statement regarding their homogenous view of humanity. According to a report on Mashabale, Apple, Google, and Microsoft are all members of this shadowy organization (a.k.a "The Man") keeping the "brother" down. Instead of minority emojis, we got a wide variety of symbols which are sure to be useful in standard, everyday personal communication:

• Circled Information Source
• Sleeping Accommodation
• Very Heavy Reverse Solidus
• Downwards Rocket
• South East Pointing Bud
• Optical Disc Icon
• Notched Right Semicircle With Three Dots
• Chipmunk
• Black Droplet

More than half of these I can't even picture in my mind, and sound more like weird sex positions than emoticons. Did you know that famous pop star Sting is so adept at tantric sex that he's mastered the Very Heavy Reverse Solidus? I heard that Richard Gere once shoved a chipmunk up his Circled Information Source.

At least the droplet is black. Also, if you squint, the "No Piracy" emoji kinda looks like a Mexican person with an eyepatch. I suppose life really is all about the small victories. Of course, if you're still mad at the Unicode Consortium, you've got a leg up in expressing your disgust: There's a middle finger emoji. 7

–On Wednesday, the US Patent Office canceled the trademark registration for the Washington Redskins football team. In a 2–1 decision, the Patent Office found that the nickname is "disparaging of Native Americans." Trademarks that are found to "disparage or belittle other groups" are not permitted by federal law. This doesn't mean the Redskins have to change their name any time soon. It just means that the Redskins organization can no longer prevent other people from selling merchandise with the team name on it.

The Redskins' owner, Dan Snyder, has said on numerous occasions that he will never change the name, and former players have lined up in support of his decision. Instead of seeing this as an issue where a racial slur is being used as a team nickname in America's most popular sport, pundits like Rush Limbaugh are blaming this issue on—wait for it—Barack Obama. Hardly anyone takes Rush Limbaugh seriously anymore, but this might be a bigger stretch than when Rush tries to squeeze into his jeans every morning. RACIST

The Most Racist Tweets of the Week:

That call is straight bullshit fucking gook ass ref

— Squids Messiah (@SirSquids) June 12, 2014

@Gonth93 fuck off you welsh nigger

— Jacob Southwart (@JakeLUFC97) June 19, 2014

If ur name is Juan Carlos I will automatically think ur a wetback

— Chicken (@Pollo_Uresti) June 18, 2014

Seriously, this sand nigger with ugly ass kids just won because I accidentally knocked in the 8 ball.

— tyler (@bigdaddytyty) June 18, 2014

On the Redskin name. I was proud to wear the uniform & always will b. It is Mr. Syder's choice if it stays. 80yr tradition #HTTR

— Joe Theismann (@Theismann7) June 18, 2014

Follow Dave Schilling on Twitter.

Wren Kauffmann. Image via YouTube.
This week brings equal parts party and bullshit in gender politics news.

Happily, 12-year-old Wren Kauffman, a young trans* man from Alberta, is working to destroy Alberta’s discriminatory laws against him, and this week, he successfully had the sex on his birth certificate changed to reflect who he is—a boy.

But also, mainstream media organizations are still publishing horrifically misogynist epistles, and white male internet trolls are creating fake Twitter accounts to “divide and conquer” feminists of colour.

Image via YouTube.
Alberta Recognizes Little Boy As Little Boy On His Birth Certificate

Let’s all take a second to recognize Wren Kauffman, a 12-year-old Alberta boy making huge strides for the country’s trans* community. Wren is trans*, and he received a new birth certificate this week recognizing that he is a boy, not a girl, as he was labeled at birth.

Parents have been fighting for their trans* children’s rights for a long time in Canada. Kauffman decided he was done with being mislabeled, and requested to have the sex on his birth certificate changed. He was denied, so he filed a complaint with the Alberta Human Rights Commission. In a precedent-setting case, his rights were recognized during a Pride brunch on Sunday.

The case is precedent-setting because Alberta law states that in order for a person to change the sex on their birth certificates, they must first undergo reassignment surgery. In April, premier Dave Hancock said that requirement would be dropped. It’s a good thing, because this law has not been updated since the 1970s. Happily, a judge ruled that Alberta’s laws surrounding birth certificates violates trans* people’s rights shortly after Hancock’s announcement.

Wren Kauffman’s story is an inspiration, and it’s kicking the government’s ass into gear. That’s especially important in a country so transsexist that it that refuses trans* people access to the healthcare they need, and doctors largely deny hormone therapy.

This story has garnered some excellent media coverage, though, some of the language used in mainstream media leaves much to be desired. Trans* experiences are often complex and varied, and rampant assumptions and mislabeling in the media is making it nearly possible for cis people to respect that. This comes from the Toronto Star in an otherwise respectful article:

“Wren, who was born a girl, had said it was stressful being listed as female.”

Wren, actually, was born a boy, and that’s why he is now a boy according to his official government-issued documents. If you want to refer to the fact that a trans* person has made a transition of sorts, it’s better to say they were assigned a particular sex or gender at birth. If a trans* woman identifies as a woman, she is a woman, and there’s not much more to be said. (While it’s important to avoid labeling someone as being “born as” a certain thing, some trans* people will explain it this way, and that’s 100 percent perfect and fine. But it’s wrong for cis people and news people to cast all trans* experiences in that light.)

If you’re looking for more ways to love and respect people of trans* experience, this guide offers some wonderful ways to do so.

Screenshot via Buzzfeed.
Beware 4chan Trolls Posing as Women of Colour and Trying To Dismantle Social Justice Efforts Online

Well, this is some serious bullshit. 4chan trolls are impersonating feminists women of colour through fake Twitter accounts that attempt to hijack hashtags and try to turn social justice activists against one another. The goal is, apparently, to “infiltrate feminists movements.”

It started with #EndFathersDay to make feminists look ridiculous, and was later revealed to be a thing called Operation Lollipop, orchestrated mostly by MRAs, and aiming to embarrass Black feminists specifically by adopting images of Black women as avatars and putting unwelcome, anti-feminist words in their mouths—and into other people’s discussions.

The happy news is, social justice activists are also usually the smartest people on the internet, and they have sniffed out the offending accounts. But beware: #yourslipisshowing is organizing to out the bastards and figure out who needs to be blocked. The hashtag calls attention to the fact that trolls are trying to hijack and derail Black feminists’ discussions, and points out specific accounts committing the harassment.

What a world.

bell hooks, photo via WikiMedia Commons.
Get bell hooks to Expel That Creeper in the Bar

A few weeks ago, I was out celebrating a friend’s new job with a group of girls. We were having an intimate conversation when a tall, lanky personage, complete with too-tight polo and military haircut, inserted himself to the right of our group. “Hi!” he shouted. “I’m Ben!”

“Not interested, Ben,” I said. He kept on prattling so I (having years of practice spurning unwanted male advances) put my hand up, in his actual face, and said, again, “Not interested.”

My friends chimed in and said they had boyfriends. Because you know, if another dude appears to own you, creepers will generally step off. I said I was married and held up my left hand ring finger.

“Well, what are you guys even doing out then?” Ben asked, disgusted, before shuffling off.

Yes, ladies, it’s a veritable battlefield of poor pick-up artists on the loose out there. But now, bell hooks can be your own personal warrior. She will text or call these unwelcome infringers and fire back with feminist zingers. Calling your new number will lead to a statement like this:

“If any female feels she needs anything beyond herself to legitimate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency.”

Thanks, bell, for loving us all of these years <3

Screenshot via the Globe and Mail.
Dear Ladies, Please Stop Waiting So Long To Have Babies, and Refusing To Marry Your Baby Daddy Once You Finally Do So

Last week, I read two perfectly wretched columns, and I feel compelled to share them with you as pointers on how not to write about women’s bodies and choices:

Dr. Beth Taylor wrote in the Globe and Mail the earth shattering news that if a woman plans to have a baby, it might be—ahem—a tad difficult the later in life she decides to wait. Dr. Taylor advises thusly:

“If you are in a relationship, do not delay trying to conceive. Many of us want to wait until we have a house, ideal job or all of our debts paid off before having a child. Unfortunately, the wait to achieve most of those goals is years and usually covers peak reproductive years.”

And, regarding women in law school, she says by the time a woman is through articling and lands a job in her mid-to-late thirties, and “may feel ready to try and conceive,” there is a one in four chance she’ll be infertile.

Yes, OK. Taylor says she is only trying to make you aware of the numbers. She’s trying to warn women against the disappointment of infertility. She suggests other options, such as freezing your eggs, in case you’re too busy or simply just disinterested by the thought of pushing a watermelon out your vagina in the very near future.

But to me, this sounds a lot like “Hurry up and get breeding,” especially when paired with her idea of “the art of being a woman,” which supposedly includes such items as shaving our legs and walking in heels.

For the record: I highly respect and revere mothers. My issue is that this woman is trying to rush women into motherhood. Just because you’re in a relationship and also want a baby does not mean you should start immediately trying to conceive with that person. (The column is heteronormative, but the same holds true for queer partnerships, IMHO. Unrelenting pressure from a partner to procreate just because you’re ready is not cool.)

Lady columnists: please stop hating on other ladies. It’s not cute.

And in Washington, this horrific article by the utterly confused W. Bradford Wilcox and Robin Fretwell Wilson escaped an editor’s clutches and made it onto the Washington Post’s site. It claims: “the bottom line is that married women are less likely to be raped, assaulted, or robbed than their unmarried peers.”

From the article, in reference to Rodger’s killings and #YesAllWomen:

“This social media outpouring makes it clear that some men pose a real threat to the physical and psychic welfare of women and girls. But obscured in the public conversation about the violence against women is the fact that some other men are more likely to protect women, directly and indirectly, from the threat of male violence: married biological fathers. The bottom line is this: Married women are notably safer than their unmarried peers.”

YOU HEARD RIGHT, LADIES. If you’d prefer not to be beaten, get online and start reading the top 57 reasons why he will not put a ring on it, then coerce him into reversing that decision! (Pro tip: Learn How To Keep Yourself Attractive! And for Christ’s sake, Learn How To Cook.) Because it is your job to calm him and coo him into to a merciful, non-barbaric state. Everybody knows men can’t control themselves. Right?

Kill me now. Though I guess that would be a sensible outcome for me, since I grew up WITHOUT MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER!

Just no. The best way to stop violence against women is to teach men not to be violent from a young age, not to leave the onus on women to marry a man and make him her protector.

@sarratch

Screenshot via YouTube.

Markus Waxenegger, a stone-cold Steve Austin look-alike from the Alps, is Austria’s biggest porn export and the star of such classics as Rita and Her Fuckmares, Ass is a Must, Cum from the Rooftop and Hotel Fuckmegood (and no, the titles don’t sound less ridiculous in German).

He embodies the Alps like nobody else has done since the days of Arnold Schwarzenegger – and just like his idol, he uses the clichés people hold against stupid and primal strongmen and incorporates them into his gimmick. That’s why he regularly plays a bullying sexual predator with an ever-horny and always abusive agenda, who nevertheless never fails to bring joy and happiness to the ladies he forces into having sex with him.

In Waxenegger’s porn universe, “I’ll put a stick up your ass” counts as foreplay, “Shut up bitch” is perfectly acceptable pillow talk and when he cums, he roars like a boar, screaming “You pig!” and giving both male and female spectators something to think about.

In 2012, Waxenegger retired from active porn duty to get involved in some topics he personally cares about. At that point, he had starred in over 1,500 movies and won multiple awards, such as the German “Venus Award” and the “Erotic Lounge Award“ for Best Performer. But besides his notorious reputation as an on-screen rapist and his even more notorious lines that earned him the nickname “world’s funniest porn star”, Waxenegger’s personal passion points do not revolve around porn or even sex. Maybe a bit surprisingly, the one thing on top of his list is animal rights.

I talked to him about his life in and after porn, his thoughts on romance and eating meat as well as Viagra, S&M and his mum. Oh, and about what it’s like to spit into a gaping asshole. He was the nicest guy I've met in a while and during the interview, he kept his shirt off. I guess you can take the man out of the porn, and so forth.

VICE: You quit your career as a professional porn star in 2012 – shortly after the Venus Awards. What are you up to at the moment? 
Markus Waxenegger: I am a trained chef and as of now I am back working as that. A lot of people out there actually don´t know that I am not doing porn flicks anymore. But I made that decision and returned to my “normal” life. On top of that, my mum died of bone marrow cancer at the end of 2012 – that made me want to start all over again.  

Are you satisfied with your job as a chef?
Well, its not bad. Although my long-term goal is to do something in the fitness industry – personal training, for example. I am also working with a company on developing nutritional supplements.

What was the cause of your retirement? Was it the death of your mother?
The death of my mother was one reason. She was never happy with the stuff I did, even though she accepted it. First and foremost she wanted me to be happy. The main reason why I quit was the way the industry dealt with health issues. I don’t want to take part in this game of Russian roulette anymore. For me, it was always important to arrive and return healthy from the set. This is not the case anymore. A lot of girls will take part in a gang bang with 20 to 30, sometimes even more guys the night before but don’t get tested and then come to work the next day. It just got too risky for me.

Why do you think the industry changed the way it deals with safe sex?
The internet played a big part in this. Companies work differently nowadays – they don’t earn as much money as they used to. Budgets are limited. That's why the actors have to resort to things like public gang bangs to earn their living. But I can’t accept that my private life has to suffer because of my career. Especially for so little money – it's just not worth it.

Do people in the industry talk openly about HIV?
To be honest, it is not really talked about. The producers would act differently if they took the issue more seriously.  

How do you become a porn star?
I went into the porn industry because I was keen on having sex in front of a camera. I really liked it. The fact it developed into a real job was a coincidence. I actually just wanted to have fun. I was in a relationship that was pretty dysfunctional and after that I just wanted to live it up.

How was your first scene?
I was unbelievably nervous and nothing worked out. I couldn’t get it up. The pressure to perform was just too high. My producer said that we would try it again in the afternoon. At this point the only people there were the camera guy, the sound guy and of course the beautiful lady on set. I had not any other distractions. From then on everything worked splendidly. A week later I was shooting in Ibiza. That was really cool.

Sounds good.
It worked to my advantage that I was one of the few, if not the only, porn actor in Germany that had a fit body. It was something very special, because everyone else looked just average. I was trained and potent.

Would you consider yourself a pioneer in the field of buff porn stallions?
I don’t know. All I can say is that it is still not a given that German male actors are well-trained – at least in the hetero sector. In the US or the Czech Republic that’s very common.

In your movies you often played the role of the very dominant macho man, who takes what he wants without asking. Does this reflect your personality or did you just play the role?
I often tried to act like myself. Of course you have to play the role that the producer or the director asks you, but after a while I just went with the flow and I didn’t need any directions anymore. I have to say, I do like to just take the woman, but I always made sure that the woman had as much fun as I was did. I am not the kind of person who enjoys being humiliated – I'm more the type of guy who calls the shots.

So porn was fun?
I was able to do a lot of things sexually that I wouldn’t have done in my private life. Things that I wouldn’t even dare to try. Also some of the script don't correspond to real-life experiences. For example, I would never have sex with multiple women in my personal life.

What wouldn’t you have dared to do in private?
Anal sex with a woman. Or fucking multiple chicks in their asses. Sometimes it is even hard to get your own girl to do things like that. You just dip in the finger really quick and that's that. But I am talking about taking a closer look inside and spitting in it and so forth.

Where there any scenes that you didn’t like?
Of course. I mean, I did try a lot of things – I did some S&M stuff. I played the submissive, all chained-up. That totally didn’t feel like my kind of thing. 

How did you manage to keep your boner and even get an orgasm then? I always concentrated on certain parts of the body. If I, for example, liked the boobs, I focused on them. I also developed quite a good imagination. A lot of people think that you can get rock hard with the support of certain supplements but it's not true. You can nibble on a little bit of Viagra but you won’t get horny just by doing that. 

My experience is the more practice you get, the more potent you get. Your hormone levels rise and you are more likely to get off. I perform better sexually when I exercise on a regular basis. You should also never underestimate the importance of a healthy diet. If you eat fries drenched in mayo and ketchup all day and wash it down with beer, then you shouldn’t be surprised if you can't get it up.

Is it important for a porn star to also be an actor?
There are definitely movies for which filming takes a whole day. I think that's the time to flourish as an actor. In conventional films, in which you are in bed within the first five minutes, I could never deliver good acting performances. That's because my brain had sunk down in my pants already.

Screenshot via YouTube.

Do you watch porn yourself?
Yes, I do. I watched it before I started working in porn and for as long as my career lasted. I just try to avoid watching movies made by people I know – that can get awkward. So I watch foreign porn. If I know what the actors are like in their private lives, I don't get turned on.

Do you have any sex advice for our male readers?
Look into her eyes from time to time and try to understand whether she really likes what you are doing. Some guys are too shy to talk about what they want in bed or even talk to women. The question is, why? If I like someone – even if it's the girl at the cash register at the supermarket – I'll try to give her my phone number. One out of ten will actually get back to you. You just have to man up.

Last question – something besides porn: Is it true that you're into animal rights?
This is an important issue. I think it is very sad that a lot of people – too many people -– have no respect for the environment. I am also looking at this from a chef´s perspective – it is quite sad how animals can be kept. I have seen a lot of misery in various places. Why do you pet and love a dog but treat pigs and other animals like trash? You don’t have to become a vegetarian – I eat meat but only in small amounts – but you should still treat the animals with respect. Today's technology has given us the tools to kill animals but not let them suffer.

I've seen cows being mistreated, and heard them crying. They know what is happening, it's horrible. In some slaughterhouses you see cows cut open in half, still alive, hanging from a hook. That's pure torture. I think it is important to help the weaker links. Everyone should have a voice.