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Looks Like We're Going to Get a Fifth Season of 'Arrested Development'

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It seems like the long-awaited fifth season of Arrested Development is actually going to happen. The show's executive producer Brian Glazer told the Wrap this week that they're "really close to pulling [a new season] off."

Arrested Development, of course, began its life on FOX in 2003, but the network killed it after three seasons because of bad ratings. The show became a cult hit, though, and its popularity only grew after it went off the air.

Netflix got the Bluths back together in 2013 and revived the series for a fourth season, but there hasn't been much in the way of fifth season plans until now. Glazer had hinted at the idea of another season back in 2015, but apparently the pieces are only falling into place now.

"All of the actors have agreed to do it, and I think they've agreed to their compensation structure," Glazer said. "It should be happening soon."

Netflix's fourth season was an obtuse, sometimes frustrating puzzle of interlocking plots that didn't really work on an episode level and only really came together when viewed as a whole. The wonky-ass narrative structure was mostly due to the fact that scheduling conflicts made it difficult to get the entire cast together in one place, so hopefully Glazer's got that figured out this time around.

There's still no official start date for filming or even a definitive promise that filming will actually happen, but a fifth season is at least a strong possibility at this point, so that's something.


Inside the Alt-Furry's Online Zoo

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Does it come as a surprise that the alt-right would identify themselves with beasts?

By now Pepe the frog, grotesque comic muse and focal point of widespread "meme magic," has become something of a household name. But a closer look at the alt-right reveals conservative animals of all stripes, a veritable zoo of foxes and wolves, mythical creatures and pastel-colored ponies led by a furry Trump, cast as an extremely smug-looking anthropomorphized lion.

I'm talking, of course, about alt-furries and alt-bronies, the mere mention of which is enough to provoke eye rolling and wholehearted despair in members of both the political left and right.

Personally I was baffled by the contradictions within a movement which preaches tolerance for fursuits and "yiffing" (furry sex), but which rails against Islam and Black Lives Matter. I also worried that I'd be offering the furry alt-right a free pass, by inviting them to explain themselves. Still, this unlikely faction goes some way to explaining absurdities of the broader movement, which—for all its gross-out humor and ragged edges—appears to be gaining mainstream credibility.

Read more on Motherboard

I Interviewed My Dad About His Career as an LSD Trafficker

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Illustrations by Ben van Brummelen

This article originally appeared on VICE Netherlands.

One day in 1988, border police stopped my father at the French crossing into Belgium. My dad rolled down the window of his dark grey Volvo and two officers asked him for his papers. He handed his passport to the most suspicious-looking one, who briefly checked it. "Could you step out of the car please, sir?" he asked. My father's heart was pounding, but his face didn't show his fear – he knew how to handle this; he'd prepared for this kind of situation.

What he hadn't prepared for was the officer holding up five small paper squares with stars printed on them. They looked a bit like tiny postal stamps, but that didn't fool the officer. He knew my dad had accidentally left five tabs of acid in his passport. What he didn't know yet was that all nooks and crannies of my dad's Volvo were stuffed with LSD.

"What are these, sir? They fell out your passport." My father tried to laugh breezily and told the officer they were his five lucky stars. "I got these from a guru when I visited Goa on holiday in India last year. He said they would bring me luck," he told the man. The officers sat him down in a chair on the side of the road while they thoroughly searched his car. My father felt a knot in his stomach – he wasn't looking forward to a stint in a French prison. But then the guard returned and told him he could go on. "But please leave your lucky stars in Goa next time."

My dad's criminal career started in the mid-1980s, when he suddenly decided to move to Amsterdam from London, all by himself. I wasn't born yet, but my half-brothers were – they were nine and seven at the time. My dad was a very successful dentist in London and had his own fancy clinic. He had a wife, two sons, a nice house, cars and a motorcycle. One day, he left all of that behind to become an LSD trafficker in another country. Because I never entirely understood what happened, or why, I recently decided to ask him about it.

He started off by telling me about his first experience with acid: "In 1971, an American friend of mine called Toby came to London with his girlfriend. He brought along 10,000 tabs of acid, which he'd stuck on two pieces of cardboard he'd tied around his legs. He'd worn thick socks over them and walked straight through security and customs. Drug trafficking and airline security weren't taken as seriously then as they are now. Toby sold the drugs in London, bought a white convertible and threw all these wild parties where people took a lot of drugs and had sex. His parties attracted a bunch of cool people and artists – London was a great city in the 1960s and 70s."

At one of those parties, Toby gave my dad and his then-wife some acid. "We had no idea what it was. My wife had a great trip, she saw beautiful colours everywhere," says my dad. "I had an extremely dark one – that first one was the worst of my life. Afterwards, I've often had flashbacks to that gruesome trip, especially while doing very mundane stuff – like filling cavities. As unpleasant as that particular experience was, it did awaken some deep desire in me to live a different sort of life. Still, it took years before I actually left everything behind and moved away."

In a traumatic turn of events for my brothers, my dad left them, divorced their mum and moved to Amsterdam. But once he arrived in this bright new city, the first thing he did was open a dental clinic again. Unsurprisingly, he found that the work didn't interest him any more. "Being a dentist didn't suit my new life in Amsterdam. There were interesting people to meet, Dutch ladies to date, joints to smoke. I wanted to immerse myself in the freedom of the city."

In 1985 he met Tony, an American actor, in one of Amsterdam's coffee shops. Soon after befriending him, my dad found out that Tony was in the drug trade. "After a while, he asked me if I'd ever considered earning money trafficking LSD." Shortly after that, my dad planned his first drug business trip. "It seemed so exciting – the criminal world was new to me. And I didn't have to justify anything to anyone; I lived alone."

"I started with small drug trafficking trips, and for the first two years I had some quite insignificant successes. After that I started earning pretty good money. On one trip to Spain I had brought along a big bag of vinyl. In that bag were records by The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Bob Dylan – all double LPs that had a total of 22,000 tabs of LSD hidden in them. It was Christmas Day and there were only a few people at the airport. The officers at customs were very happy they finally had something to do, so they grabbed my bag to take a closer look at my records. During the inspection they turned to me and said they were huge fans of The Stones and The Beatles. They just handed the bag back to me. I later found out that I could have spent at least eight years in prison for that."

My dad was pretty comfortable in the world of LSD production and trafficking, and often travelled to the US in the late 80s. "The businessmen I had to deal with there all dressed in Hawaiian shirts and picked me up at the airport, waiting for me with signs with my name on them. Back in those days they weren't hiding it much. Those guys called themselves Rainbow or Sunshine and always took me to beautiful villas brimming with art, surrounded by big gardens. I thought people in the LSD trade back then were generally very nice, interesting people – not the dodgy criminals that were involved with other kinds of drugs. At least, that's how it seemed to me."

After a fair few years of trafficking acid, however, the police started an investigation into my father and gathered enough evidence to arrest him, in 1991.

When I talk to my mum about my dad's shady career change she tells me she had no idea. I believe her, and if you knew her you would, too. She has worked as a civil servant since she was 20 and is the kind of person who never runs a red light. "We had a very free relationship at the time – we only saw each other a couple of times a week," she says. "He frequently said he was going on dentist training or business trips abroad." She found out about his criminal side when a newspaper ran a cartoon on the front page of a dentist giving his patients tabs of acid. The case against my dad didn't go by unnoticed by the media – the Dutch newspaper De Volkskrant went particularly big with it at the time. "Looking back on it, I should have wondered more about him being away so much, but my mother was terminally ill back then. She was my main concern."

While my dad was facing pre-trial detention my mum found out she was pregnant with me, which was rough for her. My dad eventually spent a year in prison, and that obviously was a dark time for him, too. He told me he taught English to his fellow inmates and had convinced the guards that he was claustrophobic, so he had permission to leave his cell door ajar a bit. In prison, my dad discovered an aptitude for drawing, and so after his release he became a artist. He says he never turned to crime again.

More LSD on VICE:

The Trippy Life of the LSD Manufacturer Who 'Helped Create the 60s'

The Photographer Who Documented the Early Days of LSD-Fuelled Psychedelia

I Use LSD to Help Me Deal with the Trauma of Being Kidnapped by My Dad

The UK Is Waiting for the Queen to Die

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This post originally appeared on VICE UK

The Queen is alive, knees knocking against each other in the empty crusted-on stack of Sandringham House, and meanwhile her death fills the world. A specter is haunting Her Majesty in her frail and lonely power; her ghost crawls with the frost in those misty end-of-the-world mornings; it rasps her destiny through clanking ceilings late at night. The Queen is going to die. We're all going to die, some day, but the Queen's death is already here, drifting through the world even as she potters about absent-mindedly here and there in the ruins of her empire.

People are willing to believe that the Queen is dead at the slightest hint; even ardent monarchists have a secret forbidden desire for it. When she missed her traditional Christmas Day church service—a "heavy cold," the Palace told us—there were worries, get well soon messages, a nation gleefully gearing itself up for loss. When she hid herself away from the public for days on end we knew something was about to happen. Then the rumors started streaming in, cold wisps out from the ground: a media blackout, a hushed-up announcement, she was dead already and they weren't telling us.

And then something very strange happened. The Queen, wandering through her grounds at 3 AM (why? What strange nightmares propelled her?) was mistaken for an intruder by one of her own guards, and nearly shot. It would have been a strange end: all those near-miss illnesses, all that long work throughout the 20th century, protecting a feudal institution from the logic of modernity, updating an anachronism just enough so it can survive—and then she dies with a bullet to the chest, just like the Romanovs a century ago, just like all the other royals who couldn't empty themselves of all real content to make themselves acceptable to a changing world. Of course, the line that she was mistaken for an intruder is only the official story, and it's not really believable. How many intruders are tiny, frail women in brightly colored coats? How many intruders have their faces on the money? Is it possible that the guard nearly shot the Queen because he mistook her for her own ghost?

We're all waiting. Every newspaper has its own database of dead-Queen material, 32-page full-color supplements compiled over the decades. The police have been working out how to secure her funeral, the TV stations have Dead Queen Day schedules to be rolled out as soon as the doctors announce they couldn't save her, a million brands have soppy tweets sitting expectantly in their draft folders, quivering for death.

When the Queen dies we'll need a lot of bunting, a lot of flowers, a lot of British flags small and large, a lot of clubs to beat the anti-monarchists with, a lot of prison cells in which to hold them, a lot of nooses with which to hang them from the lamp-posts. And in an age of informational capitalism and just-in-time production, the people who make all those things need to constantly take this sudden boom in demand into account, every single day, because it will happen. Her own son, jug-eared and decaying, is living in an inverted Oedipal nightmare: he needs his mother to die so he can assume the long-reigning potency of the paternal phallus. An old woman is still alive, somewhere, but The Queen's Death exists, concretely, in the world; the ghost is real.

Hypothesis: she's been dead for a very long time. Why do people love the Queen so much? It's not as if she's ever actually done anything; she is, in all likelihood, just a dull old Tory living in several stupidly large palaces; her ceremonial role could be executed just as well by pretty much any member of the public, or by one of her corgis, or by one of her waxworks. Ask any devoted monarchist why they're so fond of this crinkled mediocrity and you'll probably get a variant on the same answer: she represents "tradition," she "provides stability," she's "always been there," she's been "patient," she doesn't go anywhere, she is beyond life and death.

People like the Queen because she's absolutely devoid of attributes. The Queen is a blank master-signifier, something that structures our national discourse without ever having to point towards anything other than itself. She just is. She glows with a halo of faint and unqualified is-ness. She is, in other words, an unexplained phenomenon. Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith is a thing that goes bump in the night.

When she took the crown an era ago in 1953, the person who was Liz Windsor died, and something else took over. She could no longer be just another person; whatever thoughts and feelings she may or may not have had fell into the void, and she became The Queen, utterly blank, a regal nothingness that lives forever on the edge of its own death. An opened set of dates waiting to be filled in again, a (1953-tomorrow), or the day after, or the day after that. She is her own ghost. The thing that was once Liz Windsor sits cold and terrified in some royal estate, and her death rules the country, waiting to happen. And like the faithful and obedient subjects we are, we wait impatiently for it to happen too.

Follow Sam Kriss on Twitter.

PnB Rock and His Lonely Hearts Club Bangers

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PnB Rock's first and only meaningful relationship began in the same place that it would end: a grocery store.

It was located Northeast Philadelphia, about 30 minutes from Germantown, the section of the city that Rock, born Rakim Allen, was raised in until his mid-teens. He was there with a court-appointed chaperone, a result of a recent arrest, and was doing some shopping. His single mom had recently moved the family, five boys in total, to the area to get away from the streets that had consumed Allen after his uncle, a father figure, was murdered. The suburban neighborhood's manicured lawns served as a stark contrast from the broken sidewalks of the Pastorius and Baynton Streets that his stage name derives from. "It was like two different worlds," he remembers.

While there, he spotted a beautiful girl who happened to live across the street. She didn't seem to notice the chaperone, and the tall and lanky 15-year-old with an easy smile was able to nab her number. Coincidentally, he was not the first Allen boy to do so; while riding the bus a few weeks earlier, his younger brother met the same girl and also bagged her digits. His bro tried to play it cool, however, and waited to call, leaving the door open for a chance encounter with Rakim, who had no idea it was the same girl that his sibling had come home and exuded about. For a time, both tried courting her from the same number (their home landline). The young girl had already made up her mind, however, and started dating Rakim not long after.

Read more on Noisey

Rudy Guiliani Is Going to Start Advising Trump on Cybersecurity Issues

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On Thursday, Donald Trump's transition team released a statement to announce that Rudy Guiliani will be acting as an informal advisor to the president-elect, offering insight on "private sector cybersecurity problems and emerging solutions developing in the private sector," CNN reports.

The statement was relatively vague about Guiliani's new responsibilities, but did mention that he would be setting up some meetings between Trump and various private-sector executives so that they can talk about things like hacking, data theft, and information security. The statement points out, though, that participants aren't required to provide any specific recommendations for the government or a report of any kind.

"This is a rapidly evolving field both as to intrusions and solutions and it is critically important to get timely information from all sources," the transition team said. "Mr. Giuliani was asked to initiate this process because of his long and very successful government career in law enforcement and his now sixteen years of work providing security solutions in the private sector."

Trump vowed to make American cybersecurity a top priority after he met with US intelligence chiefs about the DNC hacks. Trump called the meeting "constructive," but ultimately does not believe the hacks were an attempt to influence the election, despite the findings of the report.

Why Quebec’s First Single Malt Isn’t a Whisky… Yet

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Janos Sivo's distillery is located on a farm along the Canada-US border, in Franklin, Quebec.

"Two kilometers south of here, this would be a whisky," he says, pointing to a bottle of Quebec's first single malt.

In Canada, a whisky needs to be aged for three years in oak barrels in order to be called a whisky. Two kilometers south of Sivo's farm, in the Land of the Free, no such requirement exists; as long as the age is indicated on the bottle (but it's only considered a "straight whiskey" after two years).  

Continue reading on Munchies.

Here's Every Pop Culture Anniversary Retrospective You'll Read in 2017

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It is a cold, hard fact that the Internet journalism economy is built on the three pillars of cat videos, hot contrarian takes and ridiculously long pop culture retrospectives timed to the anniversaries of movie, TV and albums' release dates.

With 2017 just beginning we thought we'd put together this handy guide for all the articles you'll see on your Facebook timeline throughout the year, so that you'll be able to adjust your expectations accordingly. (If we missed something, don't freak out, just write your own goddamn story.)

January

10th Anniversary of the iPhone
Some prick is going to write 'Here's Why the Original iPhone was the only good iPhone' for Slate.   

20th anniversary of Dennis Rodman kicking a cameraman in the nuts during a game
Before he was an unofficial ambassador to North Korea, Rodman was also a terror on the court.

February

25th Anniversary of Guns N' Roses 'November Rain' Video
It's hard to overstate how important this video—at the time the most expensive/ridiculous music video ever made—was to 14-year-old boys in 1992. 25 years later, we are still confused about the 'plot.'' We eagerly anticipate Chuck Klosterman's 10,000 word essay for AV Club.

10th Anniversary of Prince's Super Bowl performance aka pretty much the only good Super Bowl Performance
This one still hurts.

10th Anniversary of Britney Spears Shaving her Head
Remember when it seemed that Britney would win the Justin-Britney breakup?

25 years since Kriss Kross released the video for "Jump."
You know, that brief period in time when everyone started wearing their clothes backwards because fashion.

50th anniversary of Mr. Dressup's debut
Still the only good CBC show that's not The Kids in the Hall.   

25th anniversary of Tiger Woods' PGA debut
He was only 16. What the fuck were you doing at 16?

25th anniversary of comedian Bill Hicks' breakthrough album Relentless
"I have never heard one reason that rang true why marijuana is against the law… I mean marijuana grows everywhere, serves a thousand different functions—all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake." Bill was a visionary and don't fucking forget it for a second. RIP.

March

10th Anniversary of LCD Soundsystem Sound of Silver
What happens when nostalgia-obsessed art becomes nostalgia? We'll find out soon, Brooklyn!

20th anniversary of the death of Biggie
Notorious B.I.G., aka Christopher Wallace, was gunned down in his SUV while leaving the Soul Train Music Awards in LA. He was only 24 years old. His killer was never caught. We highly recommend this gets the American Crime Story treatment.  

25th anniversary of Body Count's Cop Killer album.
Still powerful after all these years, the album is most famous for inciting a massive First Amendment debate and for Ice T eventually being forced to remove the title track due to pressure from his record label.

25th anniversary of Basic Instinct
It's definitely time for a reappraisal of the Hitchcockian brilliance of this film (see also: Adam Nayman's appreciation of Verhoeven's Showgirls)

25th anniversary White Men Can't Jump
Though, Grantland already did the definitive oral history. RIP, Grantland.

10th anniversary of New York Times Magazine 's epic Arcade fire profile
Pegged to the release of Neon Bible and how amazing Montreal is for creative indie types, it has spawned countless stories during the past decade about Montreal being a creative hotspot in Canada.

20th anniversary of the premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on TV
As if the world needs a reason for any more Buffy thinkpieces. (Counterpoint: yes, it does.)

30th anniversary of the album Joshua Tree
This was the easiest part of the research for this article. Thanks U2!  

April

20 years since Ellen DeGeneres' "Yep, I'm gay"
In an iconic Time Magazine cover story, a memorable Oprah Winfrey Show appearance, and "The Puppy Episode" of her popular sitcom Ellen, DeGeneres announced to the world she is a lesbian.

25th anniversary of Metallica releasing the video for "Nothing Else Matters"
AKA the moment when Metallica officially "sold out."

25th Anniversary of Beethoven (the movie)

25th Anniversary of the First NHL Players' Strike
It lasted 10 days and it was so horrific we knew that there would never be another NHL work stoppage again.

25 years since the LA riots
Following acquittal of the four police officers accused of brutally beating a black man named Rodney King (which was caught on videotape and widely circulated), rioting and looting began in South Central LA (as it was called at the time). During the six days, thousands were injured and 55 killed, with damages estimated at $1 billion.

10th anniversary of Tay Zonday's "Chocolate Rain"
111 million views and counting.

May

50th anniversary of Jimi Hendrix's Are You Experienced
Get ready for a battle of the cover stories between Guitar Aficionado and Guitar World.

40th anniversary of Star Wars
Nerds are going to go all out this year celebrating something that came out an even longer time ago in a galaxy that's more frequently being recreated for immense profits. May the 4th be with you indeed. Faaaaaaack, sorry.

25th Anniversary of Billy Ray Cyrus' debut album Some Gave All
Yes, the one with "Achey Breaky Heart."

June

20th anniversary of Mike Tyson biting a part of Evander Holyfield's ear off in the ring
Later that year, Tyson evaded four years of jail time for cocaine possession, being sentenced to a mere 24 hours plus probation. So, all in all, a pretty solid year for Iron Mike.

50th anniversary of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles
This might be one of the last chances for boomers to brag about how their generation created the greatest pop music the world has ever seen—before they are all long gone.  

Radiohead's OK Computer turns 20
Radiohead is officially classic rock now.

10th anniversary of the end of The Sopranos
Spoiler alert, Tony totally...

15th anniversary of the debut of The Wire
As if that dude lurking near the keg at every party you've ever been to needs another reason to talk about how this was the greatest show on TV.

10th anniversary of Flight of the Conchords' HBO Show
Between Peter Jackson and these guys, New Zealand was almost relevant for a while there in the mid-2000s.

July

20th Anniversary of Limp Bizkit's debut album Three Dollar Bill, Y'all$
I can't wait for someone to attempt to over-intellectualize the importance of "Stink Finger" on the 21st Century.

20th anniversary of the all-female Lilith Fair's debut
Sarah McLachlan ruled and fuck you if you think otherwise.  

20th anniversary of Stargate SG-1's debut
Remember when Sci-Fi fans only had Stargate, Babylon Five and Star Trek: Voyager to argue over? How did we survive the late 90s?

August

20th anniversary of the premiere of South Park
Shit. Really? OK, now I feel old.

25th Anniversary of The Larry Sanders Show HBO Debut
"How Larry Sanders Built HBO into the Cable Giant It Is Today." There you go, free headline for you there, freelance culture writers.

25th Anniversary of Unforgiven
Didn't it feel like Clint Eastwood was a really, really old man when this was made?

September

The 25th Anniversary of the 1992 MTV Awards AKA the One Where Kurt Cobain and Axl Rose Nearly Killed Each Other
Very curious if anyone will let Steve Hyden write a book on this defining cultural event of the early 90s.  

10 years since Carly Rae Jepsen was eliminated from Canadian Idol
Four years later, after meeting the devil at the crossroads and making a deal for her eternal soul, she would resurface with the catchiest earworm in the history of the universe, "Call Me Maybe." Totally worth it.  

10-year anniversary of Kanye's Graduation
Hands up if you thought Kanye would still be the biggest rap artist in the world 10 years later.

20 years since Princess Diana was killed in a car crash fleeing from paparazzi
Celebrity culture is no less insane. Apparently no one learned anything from this.

10th anniversary of Feist's "1234" iPod Nano commercial  
At least one of those three things is still amazing.

20th anniversary of debut of Ally McBeal
That dancing baby is still creepy as hell.

25th Anniversary of Batman: The Animated Series
Better than Christopher Nolan's trilogy, tbh.

50th anniversary of The Prisoner
Hey, it's the original thing JJ Abrams remade as his own.   

October

25th Anniversary of the Toronto Blue Jays winning their first World Series
Aka the last time I felt joy.

10th anniversary of Radiohead surprise-releasing In Rainbows and effectively giving it away for free
Radiohead created a revolution in fanfare-free album releases and thwarted illegal downloaders by not bothering to worry about making money off of digital music releases (unless anyone picked their own price that was more than £0.00).

10th anniversary of Drake (aka, Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks) dropping his verse to "Tell Me Lies" on TV
The one when he saves Ashley from a bombing set by joining her on stage for the part of the song he wrote with her but she had deleted. Started from the bottom indeed.

10th anniversary of Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Kris literally redefined the world of reality television and spawned an entire universe of copycat shows, brands and gym bodies. No one thought the series would get renewed for a second season, let alone have a decade's worth of staying power. Ten years later, a new generation has picked up where the older three left off, gifting us Kendall and Kylie. Here's to another 10.

November

One-Year Anniversary of Supreme Commander Donald Trump Winning the Election in a Landslide
All hail the Golden Lord!

20th anniversary of Shania Twain releasing Come on Over
Remember when Shania was the biggest country music star in the universe? Timmins represent!

20th anniversary of Tenacious D's HBO Series
It wasn't the first web series but it sure looked like one.

December

10th anniversary of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet DVD release
The first 21 episodes in one place.  

50th anniversary of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner / The Graduate
Can't wait to read another piece about how important the 1960s were!

20th Anniversary of Titanic
Rose totally had room for Jake on that plank. What an asshole.   

25th Anniversary of Dr. Dre's The Chronic
Whatever happened to Dre?

Follow Josh Visser and Chris Bilton on Twitter.

Lead illustration via Joe Frontel.


An Illustrated Guide to Sunwing’s Very Bad Month

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Sunwing Airlines, the United of Canada, had a pretty shitty end to 2016 and start to 2017. Sunwing advertises themselves as "Canada's leading low cost airline" that specializes in discount and last minute flights all across the western hemisphere. While customer complaints aren't anything unusual for an airline, the sheer intensity of Sunwing's recent public relation fails are truly something special.

So special were these fuck-ups, that they required having an illustrator help tell the story.

To start, on New Year's Eve, one of their pilots in Calgary got just rip roaring drunk and almost flew a plane. Not normal, man-I-shouldn't-drive-drunk, but like piss your pants and fight a cop drunk. In that state this man got as far as behind the cockpit which is where he  promptly passed out and was found by the flight crew. Some inspectors called it "the worst case they've ever seen."

Kudos to Sunwing for the minute they realized his ass was sauced he was hauled out of the cockpit seat in quick time before being charged with alcohol impairment but think about just how dangerously close this man got to flying that plane. Before we move on, let's let that one sink in, shall we?

A pilot, who works for a major airline, who was allegedly drunk out of his mind (three-times past the legal limit) got as far as the cockpit of a big-ass flying machine filled with paying customers before someone said to themselves "well, something's not right with Captain Morgan here."

And the story doesn't get better from here.

Then Sunwing turned their eyes to their customers who, for some reason, they apparently don't want to have as returning customers. The plane (yes, the one the drunk man almost flew) eventually landed two hours and 47 minutes late in Cancun, but they refused to reimburse the customers. They cited a rule that if the plane lands within three hours they don't offer any compensation.

While a Sunwing spokesperson stated that the company is "very apologetic for any upset that this has caused and would like to assure our customers that safety remains our utmost priority," some passengers called the whole situation "deplorable."

The company also attempted to pass off the pilot as sick to their passengers and ignored the fact that they almost let a hammered-as-hell man fly them, presumably, into the nearest McDonald's for a late night snack at several hundred miles an hour.

Finally, in mid-January it came out that a Sunwing pilot (starting to see a correlation here?) caused a massive bomb scare at Pearson Airport in November. The story goes that he mistook a battery for an explosive object stuffed into his personal mailbox. Disturbed by this finding the pilot alerted Toronto Police who dispatched an elite force that focuses on counter-terrorism.  

Apparently, the battery was from an antique clock and was put there by another Sunwing employee who thought it would be "cool" to do so , that it would make a good "joke." The mistake caused two large buildings near the airport to be evacuated.

Trying to explain the situation away, Sunwing, talking to the CBC, said the whole thing was "a misunderstanding between the pilot who left the battery and the pilot who found it."  No one was charged in the event but police weren't too happy with "Canada's leading low cost airline."

Nice job guys! It's starting to become evident how you keep those flight prices so low.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on  Twitter  and see more of Adam Waito's work  on Tumblr.

Man Convicted of Rape After Removing Condom During Sex Without Consent

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In a landmark legal case, a Swiss man has been convicted of rape after secretly removing a condom during sex without his partner's consent.

The Independent reports the 47-year-old man (who has not been named publicly) met his partner on Tinder and they began to have consensual sex with a condom. Afterwards, the woman realized he had removed the condom at some point without her knowledge or approval.

Now, the Federal Supreme Court in Lausanne—the highest court in Switzerland—has judged that such actions do constitute rape, passing down a one-year suspended sentence. In comments to news agency RTS, the victim's lawyer described it as "a first in Switzerland."

Our understanding of consent has evolved hugely in recent years, thanks largely to the dedicated work of feminist activists and anti-sexual violence campaigners. However, for many a question mark hovers over whether removing a condom during sex is legally the same as rape. For the avoidance of any doubt: under UK law, it is.

"This comes down to a discussion about 'conditional consent,'" says Dr. Sinead Ring of the University of Kent. Ring refers me to the Sexual Offences Act 2003, which she describes as a "really good piece of law." In particular, Section 74 of the act covers conditional consent. In it, everyone's least favorite self-styled anti-government warrior gets a mention.

Read more on Broadly

I Tried to Get Off Ativan

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In 2006 I had a really, really bad year. My older daughter got sick and nearly died, my younger daughter got depressed, and my beloved mother-in-law developed terminal lung cancer. For weeks all I could do was cry and panic and cry some more.

When a psychiatrist suggested I take a small dose of lorazepam (the generic name for Ativan) three times a day, I said yes please. The relief was immediate: I could sleep. I could think. I could cope with the multiple traumas our family was facing.

I was in good company. According to a new report based on government data, one in five American women (and one in ten men) has taken at least one psychiatric medication, mostly antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs like Ativan. And most of these patients take the meds regularly, many for years and years. Like me.

Our annus horribilis eventually came to an end: My daughters got better and my mother-in-law died. But eight years later I was still slipping a tiny white pill under my tongue three times a day, and I wanted to stop. I asked my doctor if he could help me get off it, and his response, more or less, was "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

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Are Duolingo Users Actually Learning Anything Useful?

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When I first tried the free language learning app Duolingo, which calls itself "the most popular way to learn languages in the world," I was delighted. I told it that I wanted to beef up my Latin American Spanish, and it launched into a brief quiz that took me on a whirlwind tour of the language. The quiz took me from insultingly basic phrases like "hola," to the stuff I got sick of in 9th grade like "¿Dónde está mi bolígrafo?," to tougher stuff in a few minutes. At the end, I was told I was 65 percent fluent.

That's a grade worth bragging about, considering my Spanish is complete trash.

Anyone who has ever heard me try and communicate in Spanish knows I barely muddle through it. My attempts at conversation in the language often fail completely; if the other person can speak English, the conversations end up taking place in English instead. I encounter opportunities to speak Spanish every day of my life, but I break out in a cold sweat when I have to—so getting better at speaking my city's second pseudo-official language seemed essential.

I enjoyed accruing Duolingo's currency, lingots, and got a rush from competing with myself thanks to the app's lauded gamification. I also enjoyed the cartoon graphics and weirdly dark sentences embedded in the lessons ("He can't swim!" "I have no nationality!"). But after a few months with Duolingo, the most popular educational app in iTunes, when it came time to speak Spanish, I hadn't noticeably improved. What gives?

To find out, I checked in with linguists who focus on language acquisition. Most of them weren't into Duolingo at all, nor did they love its more expensive cousins like Wanikani and Rosetta Stone. "Many of us in academia have quite a bit of disdain for the endless series of gadgets and apps that are supposedly going to solve all our problems," Robert M. De Keyser, professor of second language acquisition at University of Maryland's School of Languages, Literatures, and Cultures, told me in an email.

According to Roumen Vesselinov, assistant professor of statistics at Queens College at The City University of New York, "Generally [Duolingo] seems to work." In an experiment commissioned by Duolingo itself, Vesselinov and his team found that using Duolingo for 34 hours is about the equivalent of a one-semester language class. It's an impressive result to be sure.

However, Vesselinov also told me that the evaluation process relied on a text-based online quiz called WebCAPE. "In other studies, with other software packages, we were able to use oral tests," he told me, referring to comparable tests of the language applications Rosetta Stone and Busuu. "You give a recording to evaluators, they listen, and they evaluate your communication skills," he explained, and he said this produces a result that is "more objective." Vesselinov said it "would be nice to test Duolingo for both vocabulary and oral proficiency."

What's more, he said, "the biggest measurable progress is when you start from zero." According to his report, the difference between beginner and advanced progress was "noteworthy" and not "statistically significant," because of the small sample size. But with beginners achieving 9.2 test points of progress on the WebCAPE, and more advanced students achieving a paltry 0.6 points of progress, Vesselinov wrote that, "with [a] larger sample, the result would have been significant."

"It's more difficult when you're at an advanced stage to improve further," he told me point blank.

Since I'm not able to have what I think is a normal conversation, I'm not at what I consider an advanced stage in my Spanish knowledge—but I seem to have reached a plateau. This is most likely because, as MIT linguist Suzanne Flynn told me in an email, apps like Duolingo are "good for learning new vocabulary at best," and don't have "what is needed for true language acquisition to take place—immersion or immersion-like language experiences."

Immersion is, of course, the gold standard of language teaching methods; generally, anyone who teaches a language recommends moving for a while so you can be among native speakers if you want to make real progress. But I'd imagined that, at the intermediate and upper levels, an app like Duolingo (or Rosetta Stone, if I wanted to spend more money) could get me close enough, and that I'd only need immersion if I wanted to speak with the panache of a native.

I now know from experience that an app won't even let me successfully eavesdrop on a conversation between two native speakers.

Robert Daland, a UCLA linguistics professor, explained that my ability to form a sentence pieced together from snippets, as learned from Duolingo, isn't even fighting half the battle. "An equally important part of language acquisition—in fact I would say maybe even a more important component—is perception, the ability to understand what someone means when they say something to you." He said each language comes with unique challenges when it comes to just understanding a normal sentence—things he referred to as "lazinesses or sloppinesses," that make everyday speech baffling to a non-native speaker.

Let's take an example, in English: go ahead and say the elementary sentence, "It's in that green box over there," out loud. According to Daland, you just confused any non-native speaker by referring to a "greem box." The unwritten rules of spoken English say that when you hear an "m" at the end of green, that's actually an "n," and you've probably never given it a second thought. And it's not just that all languages allow for muddled consonants, he explained. "The way languages allow this is different," and currently, no app really teaches this kind of thing, even though the problems it presents materialize at a very basic level of speech.

"Any kind of strategy that's going to help you learn words is going to beneficial for you in the long run, as long as you're learning frequent and useful words," Daland told me. But I'll never, ever get anywhere close to fluent with Duolingo. "It is going to possibly be a very helpful part of a multi-component program," he said.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

Donald Glover Can Pretty Much Do Whatever He Wants for FX Now

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Donald Glover had a pretty good 2016, unlike the rest of us. He released a new Childish Gambino album, scored a role in the upcoming Han Solo Star Wars movie, had a kid, and took home a few Golden Globes last Sunday for his hit FX TV show, Atlanta.

Now, the network is so hyped on the show's success that it's given Glover an exclusive overall deal, which means that he'll be able to create and produce anything he wants exclusively for the network and its streaming services. It's basically the same deal it gave to Louis CK a while back.

"Atlanta was just the beginning, the breakout comedy of the year and a series revered as much for its originality as its honest look at the experience of being aspiring, young and black in that legendary city," the network's president of original programming, Nick Grad, said in a statement. "We're proud to partner with Donald in an overall deal that will allow him to continue turning his creative vision into incredible television."

And if that's not enough, the 33-year-old will continue to executive produce, write, direct, and star in Atlanta. FX announced that the second season won't be coming until 2018, though, due to Glover's production schedule, not to mention he's a little busy being really good at everything.

At Least 46 Anti-Abortion Bills Are Already in Front of State Legislatures in 2017

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State legislatures have been back in session a little more than a week and lawmakers are already going after abortion rights. At least 46 anti-abortion bills have been introduced or are pending in 14 states as of Thursday morning—15 in Missouri alone, according to research compiled by the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit group that supports abortion rights, and additional reporting by VICE News. Many of these measures are nearly identical and fit distinct patterns, such as "personhood" bills in Missouri, Texas, and Florida that aim to grant fetuses a right to life from the moment of conception.

Lawmakers in five states (Kentucky, New Jersey, Virginia, Texas, and Florida) introduced bills to ban abortion after 20 weeks of fertilization, when, they argue, fetuses can feel pain. These bills are modeled after legislation drafted by the anti-abortion organization National Right to Life, which has made passing the "Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act" in states around the country a priority in recent years. Nebraska was the first state to adopt this law, in 2010, and now at least 14 other states have 20-week bans in place, according to Guttmacher. Ohio Republican Gov. John Kasich signed a 20-week ban into law late last year after months of controversy surrounding a different bill that would have banned abortions at six weeks.

Read more on VICE News

Atoy Wilson, the Jackie Robinson of Figure Skating

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Fifty-one years after he became the first African-American to win a national championship in figure skating, Atoy Wilson remembers how it very nearly slipped away.

It was January 27, 1966 in Berkeley, Calif. Wilson, 14 years old at the time, was in first place in the novice division at the 48th U.S. Figure Skating Championships. Now, as he took the ice for his freestyle routine, he stood four minutes and thirty seconds away from history.

Wilson, 65, still remembers the crescendo of the music as he approached his first jump. He and his coach, Peter Betts, had toiled for months to synchronize everything just so to the high points of his routine.

Dah-nuh-nuh ...

"I'm skating, getting ready and the big jump ..."

Dah-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh ...

"I tore into it, I really ripped into the edge and ..."

" DAH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH ...

"The effing edge gave out on me," he laughs. "It was a belly flop ... right on the music, too!"

Wilson would recover well enough to win the event, as well the championship. Not long afterward, he retired, ahead of his prime and a possible berth in the 1972 Olympics. Yet within the sport, and especially to the African-American skaters who succeeded him, Wilson remains a seminal figure. He demonstrated that victory was achievable to anyone, no matter the circumstances.

Read more on VICE Sports


Will Trump Follow Through on His Promise to Reduce Drug Prices?

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Donald Trump held a press conference Wednesday in New York City that mostly concerned his campaign's alleged (and very, very unproven) ties to Russian government operatives. But when one reporter broached the subject of the Obamacare repeal that is set to slowly work its way through Congress, Trump responded with a bit of blink-and-you'll-miss it news: He wants the federal government to be able to negotiate with drug companies on medication prices.

The US, he said, needed to "create new bidding procedures for the drug industry because they're getting away with murder... We're the largest buyer of drugs in the world and yet we don't bid properly and we're going to start bidding and we're going to save billions of dollars over a period of time." (Drug prices are abnormally high in America compared to other countries, and a potential factor is that Medicare, one of the biggest buyers of drugs, isn't allowed to negotiate with pharma companies.)

This was not a brand-new position—Trump talked about negotiating with drug makers during the campaign—but almost immediately after his press conference remarks, pharma stocks dipped and stayed down until trading closed.

Big pharma stocks soared just after Trump got elected, as did the broader market, on the assumption that Trump's anti-regulation views would make him an unabashadely pro-business president. But the president-elect's apparent support for letting Medicare negotiate drug prices—a position normally held by Democrats—is potentially bad news for the pharma industry.

There a lot of questions, however: Will Trump really follow through on his pledge to stop drug companies "getting away with murder"? And if Medicare does negotiate with big pharma, will that really drive down prices? To find out more, I spoke to Daniel Hartung, a pharmacist and associate professor at Oregon State University who conducted a study on skyrocketing drug costs in 2015. He told me it literally might be easier to lower drug costs by tweeting at big pharma than by trying to negotiate.

VICE: Is Trump right about big pharma getting away with murder?
Daniel Hartung: Well, it's pretty clear that the pharmaceutical industry does not [give] a favorable impression to the public, so it's always a good political point to make.

Can Trump just decide to let Medicare negotiate drug prices?
There would have to be some sort of congressional action that would take place to allow that to occur. Many people debate whether that would be effective from a pragmatic standpoint—having a gigantic federal bureaucracy negotiate prices for every drug that Medicare purchases.

What does that debate involve?
Just from the Medicare perspective, when [the Medicare Prescription Drug Modernization Act] was legislated in the early 2000s, the compromise to get the thing passed, to get support from pharma, was to put in the provision that the federal government wouldn't negotiate directly [with drug companies], but basically have all the business dealings and purchasing done by the private Part D plans.

Why would that provision be a good idea?
The theory was that competition on the part of the Part D plans would bring down costs for beneficiaries, and to some extent that's happened. Over the years, legislators have talked—this pricing issue has been around for a while, and it's kind of resurfaced again—and people have discussed the notion of allowing Medicare as a federal purchaser to negotiate by itself to try and get better rebates or discounts.

Has there ever been any progress on making that more than just a notion?
It's always been kind of a political nonstarter, largely because the pharmaceutical industry has such a big lobbying arm. But it was definitely a talking point in the last presidential elections, with, I think [Bernie] Sanders and [Hillary] Clinton [supporting it]. And Trump.

Do you see legislation passing under Trump that would allow for these kinds of negotiations?
I'm not sure. For or a person who comes from a business background, it's hard to imagine that he could propose, and get the political will together to put forward, a broad-based, aggressive price-setting, or more aggressive negotiating tactics against the pharmaceutical industry. I think his rhetoric right now is still in campaign mode, where it's just very popular to say what he said about the pharmaceutical industry getting away with murder. Supposedly there's going to be something in the new version of the Affordable Care Act, when it's replaced, that speaks to drug prices, but I have no idea [what that would be]. I don't think anyone else knows either.

Are there any other ways to stop these prices from climbing?
In the days leading up to the inauguration he's aggressively gone after companies in specific industries on Twitter and whatnot. And from a public perspective, seems to have elicited specific changes in response, real or perceived. That's not a coherent policy solution to the problem, but I think there are, perhaps, some things that could be done.

Are you saying he might be able to tweet at pharmaceutical companies and force them to make price changes?
Given the fact that pharma is really acutely aware of its PR image right now, and also partly aware that the new president is not afraid to publicly excoriate any particular company over unpopular things they've done. Perhaps there may be a slowing in some of the increases that have been observed, because of the fear of being publicly castigated by Trump. I can see that happening. But I can't envision a policy solution that would be proactive that would have a real tangible effect.

Would the effect of bullying the companies be lower prices?
I definitely find it realistic that there could be a slowing in some of those [price] increases that have been observed just because there's a massive amount of public scrutiny on this issue right now. There might be some fear like, "We need to rein ourselves in right now, because who knows what might happen from a legislative perspective." I could see an increasingly vocal president having some kind of effect in terms of the public image of pharma, and them not wanting to reap any sort of increased regulation, or any regulatory stick aimed at them.

What policy would you suggest Trump pursue if he wanted to reduce healthcare costs?
If I could make one suggestion that would save some money very quickly—and I'm not sure what would be required legislatively—it would be allowing dual-care Medicare-Medicaid enrollees to receive their benefits from the Medicaid side. There would be more rebates coming in than we currently see gathered from the Medicare program. I think there's potentially billions there that could be saved.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

Health Canada Issued a Weed Recall, What a Glorious Time We Live In

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Remember, like three years ago, when you got some bunk weed from your dealer your only recall was either not use them again or make a mental note to never, ever pay money for "UK Cheddar" (unless you're really really desperate)?

Those were the bad old days.

Now, with the impending legalization of weed and the budding (sorry) industry that is legal weed, we're starting to actually see customer protections for all the pot smokers out there.

Take for example the recall Health Canada just announced for some products grown by Organigram Inc. (who are partnering with the Trailer Park Boys by the way.)

On January 9, a Type 2 and 3 drug recall for dried marijuana and cannabis oil that was produced by the company between February 1, 2016 and December 16, 2016 was issued. The reason being some of their grass tested positive for myclobutanil and/or bifenazate, two pesticides that, while allowed in food production, are not allowed in the marijuana growing process.

The Type 2 recall refers to one where "exposure to a product may cause temporary adverse health consequences," and Type 3 is where "exposure to a product is not likely to cause any adverse health consequences." Organigram is complying fully and asking people who have bought the affected product to stop using it immediately and contact the company.

Over the past few years several marijuana recalls have happened, all for legitimate reasons in regards to weed. One batch was recalled because it was mouldy, another for unacceptable amounts of bacteria.  

Think about how crazy this is.

While there are numerous people who use marijuana for legitimate medical purposes there are also just as many that smoke weed recreationally and just have a, uh, bad back. These marijuana users are now protected from some bad bud and/or shoddy growers—something unheard of just a few years back.

The gatekeeper isn't a man that goes by the name "John Green" who meets you outside a gas station in an old station wagon with a tumbler of rum and coke in his drink holder anymore (yes, that was a real weed dealer I had in my hometown, Alberta represent!) but are now scientists and doctors.

What a glorious time we live in friends… what a glorious, hazy time.

Lead photo via Flickr user Mark.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter .

Eddie Huang on Why Immigrants Need to Charge Customers 'Full Fucking Price'

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Last month, chef, memoirist, and longtime VICE and VICELAND collaborator Eddie Huang delivered a powerful keynote address at the National Immigrant Integration Conference in Nashville, Tennessee. The annual conference, which is in its ninth year, is the largest of its kind and was attended by over 1,000 people, and Huang's speech, titled "No Coupons," was an impassioned message for immigrants to literally stop selling themselves short.

"Being a natural-born American, I refuse to see myself as a guest or an alien, no matter how many people tell me to go back to China," the Huang's World host told the audience. He connected his immigrant father's plight as a Chinese restaurant owner in Orlando, offering steep discounts because "immigrants can't sell anything full price in America," to Huang's own experience today as the accomplished 34-year-old Taiwanese American chef in New York and LA selling Taiwanese gua bao for "full fucking price."

"As immigrants, we must tell our stories if we want to be understood at full market value," the Fresh Off the Boat author said, stressing the value of narratives as "the bridges to familiarity."

Huang's message for understanding and solidarity arrives at a time when immigrants in American are under attack from an incoming administration that has threatened to build an enormous wall between the US and Mexico border, start a Muslim registry, and deport millions of undocumented workers, and an American society that has seen a sharp uptick of hate incidents, Islamophobia, and intolerance since the election.

Huang continued: "I hope that one day America will acknowledge my identity and accept that I am a yellow-blooded, whole American, entitled to equal rights, because nowhere in our creation story is whiteness tied to the definition of an American.

"There is a lie I've seen told to white immigrants somewhere between the first and second generation, which convinces them that their struggle is the American one, and no other immigrant struggle can be understand as such and that inequalities against anyone wearing an SPF lower than 50 are somehow ordained," he said. "This is the lie that has propelled Trump to the White House. And whoever wrote this lie, voted for this lie, or turns a blind eye to this lie needs to stand with us today and dispel it, because the rest of America has to live it."

Check out the full video of Eddie's speech above. Huang's World airs on VICELAND.

Follow James Yeh on Twitter.

YouTube 'Social Experiments' Are the Worst Kind of Smug White Racism

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If there's anything more troubling than grown men doing YouTube stunts, it's grown men doing racist YouTube stunts. Or, as they would call them, "social experiments".

Amateur actor James Slattery, from Kent, was convicted this week of racially aggravated harassment after conducting one of his "experiments" in Liverpool. While being filmed, he told a black woman that he "hated black people" and asked her if her family was "from a tribe". After publicly humiliating the woman, he then came clean. "Don't worry," he told her, "it's a social experiment."

Slattery was sentenced to eight weeks in prison, suspended for 12 months (meaning he'll serve no jail time), and ordered to pay £200 compensation to victim Sharna Sinclair. His defence was that he was trying to "raise awareness" of racism – but how exactly "being openly racist to someone, as a joke" serves to move the conversation forward is anyone's guess.

Although there appears to be no footage online of his harassment of Sinclair, what does exist on YouTube is another one of his videos – filmed on the same day in Liverpool's Slavery Museum. In it, Slattery approaches a black man, points at an exhibit and asks him, "Did your lot make all this sort of stuff?" He carries on, while most of the white passersby shake their heads but fail to challenge him. The video culminates with him telling the man: "Black people were slaves for a reason… There was nothing else between the ears, you had the build for slavery."

Slattery's video proves nothing, besides the fact that – as already recognised within the black, Asian and minority ethnic community in the UK – white people need to do a better job of supporting people who are being racially harassed.

The video he was prosecuted for is part of a genre of "social experiment" YouTube pranks that revolve around white men mocking ethnic minorities in the UK, the US and beyond. The most common are "hood pranks", where smug white boys head into black neighbourhoods in America and aggravate people by, for instance, stepping on their Jordans, egging their cars or calling people "neighbours" (but making it sound like "niggers"). They splice together the worst footage of the people they encounter, with "hood pranks gone wrong" videos showing the YouTubers being beaten up or having guns pulled on them. It's true that a lot of the makers of these videos are smarter than Slattery was, using actors to portray the black men and women they abuse. But in general, it's nothing more than lazy racism.

YouTuber Joey Salads, for instance, produced two controversial videos in late 2016 – a year marked by a number of prominent shootings of unarmed black men by police, and months of Donald Trump's inflammatory rhetoric that stretched tensions between the black and white communities in the States. In the first video, Joey wanted to test the idea that Black Lives Matter is "racist". To do so, he went into a white neighbourhood and held up a "Black Lives Matter" sign. Hardly anyone cared. He then went into a black neighbourhood, held up an "All Lives Matter" sign and was "beaten up" (he wasn't beaten up; someone just knocked the sign out of his hand).

In his second video Joey left a car in a black neighbourhood covered in Trump stickers. The car was destroyed. It was later exposed that the video was a fake, and that Joey had worked with the black men who appeared in it. In an interview with another YouTuber, H3H3, Joey said he "never intended for it to generalise the entire black race". He's since taken down both of these videos, but it's hard to take his statement seriously when his "hood prank" videos still remain on his channel.

The stereotype of black men – and, to a similar degree, black women – as being violent and aggressive is one so many of us are desperately trying to leave behind. It's a hangover from the era of slavery, exacerbated due to our "urban" status and the fact that we are disproportionately affected by poverty and treated terribly by the police and the criminal justice system.

A lot of us do so much to become "acceptable" for white society, to flatten and modify our blackness. We straighten our hair, cross the road when we think we might scare someone, lower our voices and eyes to be demure and dress plainly. So the way we are portrayed in YouTube videos matters just as much as how we are portrayed in the mainstream media. It all feeds into a narrative which ultimately sees us more likely to serve custodial sentences in the UK for the same crimes that white people commit, and struggle to get jobs in certain industries.

Not all social experiments featuring race are bad. Jane Elliot spent years putting together her infamous "Blue Eyes vs Brown Eyes" project, an extreme experiment filmed for Channel 4 that created segregation based on eye colour. It aimed to show how physical differences between people can manifest into racism and division.

But even with seemingly meaningful YouTube social experiments and pranks, it's always people of colour and women who bear the brunt. In a widely shared video of a woman walking around New York for ten hours and being sexually harassed by a range of different men, it was quickly picked up that very few white men were shown. "Racists are actually using the video – whose intention is to comment on sexism – to validate their racist beliefs," wrote Alicia Lu for Bustle.

The main outcome of YouTube social experiments seems to be cementing harmful stereotypes that black people are prone to violence and aggression, and with the rise of Facebook Live and its ilk we're only likely to see more of them.

But at least James Slattery's conviction will serve as a reminder to YouTubers that their videos are not harmless or even smart – that they are no more than petty white people attempting to goad POC into behaving like lazy stereotypes.

@CharlieBCuff

Joseph Boyden’s Apology and the Strange History of ‘Pretendians’

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When author Joseph Boyden's Indigenous heritage recently fell under intense media scrutiny, the investigation brought attention to an uncomfortable historical reality: North America has a long history of white folks pretending to be First Nations.

It took a damning investigation from Jorge Barrera for APTN to give mainstream attention to what many have been quietly questioning for years. Who is Boyden, the author of stone-cold Canadian classics like Three Day Road and The Orenda, to tell Indigenous stories as his own, and gain fame and fortune from doing so?

After going virtually silent following the APTN investigation, besides a vague Twitter post, Boyden broke his silence yesterday in a statement and in interviews with the Globe and Mail and CBC. (One serious caveat though, Boyden only agreed to speak to the Globe on the condition it was with Books Editor Mark Medley, someone he's known for years. His interviewer at the CBC was also a "friend.")

Boyden told Medley he would "not be defensive about my heritage" and said he would no longer speak on behalf of the Indigenous community.

To me, a person of Cree and Irish ancestry, his apology has fulfilled his obligation to the public, but the matter does not seem to have a clear resolve. It's quite possible that Boyden maliciously fabricated an Indian identity to exploit a niche in the writing world, or perhaps he does have a genuine, if tenuous connection to the community. Who's to say?

But whether it is fair or not, Boyden has been lumped with a bunch of individuals who make up the strange history of "pretendians." What's certain is that he is not the first person to use an Indigenous identity to sell books.

There are extreme examples, like when in 1991 The New York Times listed The Education of Little Tree, an autobiography of a young Indian orphan, as the top non-fiction bestseller. Unfortunately, author Forrest Carter was exposed to be a Ku Klux Klan thug who also wrote Western novels and anti-Semitic pamphlets, on top of the regular Indian stuff.

Then there are people like Pauline Johnson, whose mother was English and whose father was a hereditary Mohawk Chief. She grew up on the Six Nations reserve in Brantford, Ontario, in a colonial mansion built by her father who ran the home with a strong British influence. In 1892, Johnson captivated white audiences with her poems, and became famous for her romantic laments, appearing like the quintessential Indigenous woman. However, her sophisticated, upper-class upbringing required her to exaggerate her "Indian-ness" to please the masses who believed in her exotic image. Where does Boyden fall between these two examples?

Many people claim to have Indigenous ancestry, and many are on journeys to discover their cultural roots. Inside of that, there are people who simply feel Indigenous. The term 'Cherokee Syndrome," explains this phenomena of people professing to be Indian at heart. Then there are people who knowingly falsify their heritage, and benefit from it. A recent infamous case involved Andrea Smith, a co-founder of INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence. Her reputation and advocacy for Indigenous women came undone when a Tumblr post, exposing her phony Cherokee claims, was picked up by the media in 2015. In a similar case, author and activist Ward Churchill, was fired from the University of Colorado upon being publicly renounced by the very tribe he claimed heritage to.

READ MORE: What Colour Is Your Beadwork, Joseph Boyden?

A historical explanation for this behavior, is offered by Daniel Francis in his book The Imaginary Indian, where he explains how resentment grew out of the overpopulated, over-polluted, crime-ridden cities that were built upon the factory industry of the early 1800's.

"There was a growing feeling that Indian character and culture had something positive to teach Euro-Canadians," wrote Francis.

Few exemplified this sentiment better then naturalist, illustrator, writer and children's educator, Ernest Thompson Seton. From Scottish descent, Seton grew up in Toronto and expressed his admiration for Indigenous culture by penning a children's book called Two Little Savages, which told the fictional story of two boys who play Indian. As an adult, this admiration continued with his work promoting environmentalism through the Woodcraft Indians in 1902. A weekend retreat for boys, and later girls, which consisted of camping, storytelling, games and woodcrafts. All the while, Seton organized the children into a hierarchy which included a Chief, a Second Chief, a Keeper of the Tally, and a Keeper of the Wampum. No Indigenous children actually attended Seton's camp. Eventually, Indigenous qualities and values were replaced with military influence. The Boy Scouts of America was created in the image of Seton's vision.

Grey Owl feeding a beaver a jelly roll. Photo via Wikipedia

Public interest in Indigenous values and culture grew throughout the 1900s and in 1931, an "Ojibway" trapper from northern Ontario, named Grey Owl, wrote Men of the Last Frontier, which quickly became a popular piece of conservationist literature. He became immensely successful in North America and Europe, and during his lecture circuit would wear a buckskin jacket and braided black hair, seemingly personifying the stereotypical Indian image to the rest of the world. When he died in 1938, Archie "Grey Owl" Belaney was revealed to the public to actually be an Englishman, born in Hastings.

These cases of fraudulent Indigenous identity boomed in the late 1960s when the hippies came to the inevitable conclusion that Indians, the grooviest of oppressed people, had a thing or two to teach modern society. Spiral Nature Magazine describes the hippie mindset as holding the belief that Indigenous people were "morally superior to American culture." Through native teachings and ceremonies, those "turned on" were able to rebirth themselves as the Natural Man, such as the characters in Paradise Now, a play performed by the experimental Haight-Ashbury acting group, The Living Theatre. Still, the trend went farther than that.

New Age plastic shamans emerged from this scene and began distributing written materials (which is ironic, considering First Nations are traditionally oral communicators) that promoted a spirituality akin to Eastern and First Nation teachings, but were modified for a homogenous audience. Yoga, meditation, sweat lodges, corner store dream catchers, and basically all forms of secular spiritual practice were a result of this cultural trend.

An online forum called New Age Frauds & Plastic Shamans, is focused on raising awareness about spiritual exploitation. Moderator Al Caroll, told VICE:

"The New Age or so called neo-shamans are a huge, multi-billion dollar industry that takes advantage of the general public knowing so little about American Indian traditions, which neither seek nor want converts."   

Of course, the inevitable end of this trend resulted in disaster.

Enter James Arthur Ray, a now-discredited spiritual leader who, in 2009, organized a $10,000 "Spiritual Warrior" weekend retreat. His malpractice during a sweat-lodge ceremony killed three people in the Arizona desert heat.

These inauthentic voices even find their way into politics. During the election, Trump called Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas," to draw attention to her identity claims. Warren listed herself as a minority in the directory of law professors and critics of Warren accused her of using the Native American tag to find sympathy. She has since responded, and much like Boyden, has cited her family's ancestral shame to be the reason for her flimsy cultural connections.

"I knew my father's family didn't like that (my mother) was part Cherokee and part Delaware, so my parents had to elope," she said in her response.

Gyasi Ross, a Blackfeet author, attorney, rapper and storyteller, spoke to VICE about the perils of cultural shame.

"I happen to believe the number one killer within our communities, whether we're talking about suicide, drugs, alcohol or domestic violence, is shame."

When asked about the public's response to Boyden, Ross told us, "If the answer is shunning, we can accomplish that without public shaming. We can do that in a way that is not intended to be ugly."

Considering the history of appropriation, it is understood why many feel the need to shame Boyden. Responses to his tweet concerning APTN were wrought with lines of contention. Some simply asked, "where are you from?", while others called out exactly what Boyden did wrong.  

Nobody likes to see a darling of the Canlit community disgraced, but this is someone who has benefited materially from the community he has claimed to represent and hasn't been shy about the life he's lived because of it. In his interview with The Globe and Mail, Boyden claims that he never took money from Indigenous awards, and that argument is valid to some degree. The article does share research which shows that Canada Council for the Arts has listed Boyden to have received six grants and prizes since 2007, totaling $16,800. However, it is unclear if these awards were meant for Indigenous writers. Still, we cannot remove the fact that what people saw in Boyden, when they lauded him with awards and grew his platform, was not entirely real. The last thing these communities need is another supposed outsider taking resources for themselves and this is something Boyden clearly understands.

Celia Haig-Brown, a professor at York University, who works closely with First Nations communities, spoke with VICE about admiration versus appropriation.

"When I was six, I used to pretend I was a Navajo boy but I was never confused enough to think that it was more than pretence. Childish pretence, which is much more devious when it becomes deliberate deception by an adult."

This statement brings to mind a question that many Indigenous people, myself included, across North America ask themselves. Am I Indian enough? More importantly, if I didn't grow up 'Native,' in what capacity am I able to discover that side of myself?

"There is no singular experience of 'being Native enough," says Haig-Brown, "To think in those terms is to return to racist stereotyping. People need to be able to articulate their relationship to the community they are claiming to be connected to."

Comedian and writer Ryan McMahon, knew this when he asked Boyden, "What Colour Is Your Beadwork?" in a VICE article. Connecting to your people through language and location are supremely important but not necessary. For McMahon, there should be other elements which connect you to your people. Without that element of community, are voices like Boyden's deemed valueless? Not entirely, but let this be an alarm for us to refocus Indigenous voices in Canada, in a way that is truly genuine. To try and find perspective, I spoke to Elder Jimmy Dick from Moose Factory. He made it clear this sort of behavior isn't going to fool anyone for too long.

"This has been going on since 1492. A lot of people are territorial. They'll know what family you're from, because that's how they identify you. Because their families have been there a long time. That's how you claim to be part of that community."

There wasn't any anger in his voice. He seemed to accept the world we live in, but did acknowledge the importance of genuine voices.

"Floyd Westerman wrote songs that were as true then as they are today. Talking about those people who claim to be related to the 'Great Princess' or the 'Great Chief.' They see being native as romantic. They just want to feel happy. They don't want to suffer like the Indians suffer."

Apparently, Joseph Boyden has suffered. In a video message, he describes his battle with suicide and depression as a sixteen-year-old boy. But is it the right kind of suffering to align him with pain felt by First Nations? This is, admittedly, a ridiculous question and one people will have to answer for themselves. As for Elder Jimmy, he was content to simply sing away his worries.

"And the anthros still keep coming
Like death and taxes to our land;
To study their feathered freaks
With funded money in their hand."

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