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As someone who grew up in the 90s watching visually "trippy" films like Natural Born Killers, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and The Crow far too many times, seeing the opening scene of Paul Schrader's new film Dog Eat Dog was a bit of a weird flashback. In it, a tweaked-out Willem Dafoe goes through several stages of chemical-induced aggression in a trashy living room, all of which is bathed in sickeningly oversaturated lighting. The scene culminates in some fairly graphic and unnecessary killings, with Dafoe crazed and sweaty. I knew right away that Schrader was onto something interesting—maybe not exactly Oscar-worthy, but definitely interesting.

The death penalty is illegal in Canada. But that doesn't mean prisoners aren't dying in Manitoba.

The day after Donald Trump upset the planet with his presidential win, Ontario Court Justice Bernd Zabel did what any fine Canadian judge would do in the situation—he wore a "Make America Great Again" ball hat in his courtroom.

This is according to a breathless report from three (three!) reporters in today's Globe and Mail. Zabel addressed "numerous lawyers, police officers and defendants" while wearing the hat, according to the Globe's unnamed source in the courtroom.

Zabel reportedly said he was wearing the hat "because last night was an historic occasion," which is certainly one answer but hardly the whole story.

Obviously, I have questions for Justice Zabel.

With the election behind us, you're likely either finally breathing a sigh of relief or drinking yourself into a stupor as you prepare for the second American Civil War. However you're handling the election results, at least you know what they are. Imagine how much worse it would've been had this excruciating election cycle dragged on any longer. Imagine the ulcer you'd have formed if, while the fractured country started to put the pieces back together, you were kept in limbo, unaware of the results of the most important political contest of our lifetime. Imagine how much this week has sucked for me.

As I write this, I've just voted and am about to turn off notifications for all my texts, news apps, and social media accounts in an effort go as long as possible without learning who won the US Presidential election. Similar to abstract, knowledge-dependent games like "avoiding finding out the winner of the Super Bowl" or The Game (sorry), the premise is simple: try to live a (relatively) normal while avoiding the biggest news story in the world. The second I'm made aware of this information, I've lost.

ELECTION DAY

4:00 PM PST
I'm preparing to skip town and camp in the desert for the night. This may seem dramatic to some of you, but I live in Los Angeles, a voting map completely devoid of redness. The entire east LA skyline will be lit up with fireworks if Hillary wins. Getting clear of the county line seems like the only way to keep myself in the dark.

8:20 PM
My tent is all set up in a little patch of dirt just outside of Joshua Tree National Park. This could still be fun.

9:04 PM
I'm too anxious to read the book I've brought so I'll just be drinking whiskey and watching a downloaded movie to pass the time.

11:08 PM
I've no clue why I thought watching a documentary about Anthony Weiner would somehow calm my nerves about the election.

DAY 2

Photos by the author

8:10 AM
A strong gust of wind has unstaked my tent and flipped it upside down onto me, rousing me from a restless sleep, so I'm starting the day with my world literally inverted. I have no choice but to take this as a harbinger of doom.

10:40 AM
I need to kill more time before heading back to society (or the smoldering rubble of it) so I decide to catch an 11 AM screening of Doctor Strange at some desert town theater.

10:52 AM
At the concession stand a tired-looking older Latina woman sells me a pretzel. I wonder if she's tired from a night of celebration, or a night of frightened escape planning. Or maybe she's just sluggish because she's working an underpaid service industry job and would rather be anywhere else?

1:12 PM
Movie's over and it's time to make my way back home. I have a cat that needs food, even if I have to sneak through hordes of militias roaming the streets to get it to her.

2:35 PM
I'm an hour outside of LA and there's a wall of traffic for miles heading east out of town. I'm one of the few cars on the road heading west. Like that scene in Independence Day, or the opening credits of The Walking Dead. Shit.

2:37 PM
I remind myself that LA area traffic jams like this for no rhyme or reason every single day. This probably isn't some apocalyptic mass exodus.

3:21 PM
Back home, one of the apartments in my building has a bunch of furniture sitting outside the front door. This might be a sign they're fleeing. Or they could just be cleaning the floor. Every banal little moment is pregnant with perceived meaning.

4:40 PM
I have bottled energy that needs spending. The gym is off limits. TVs will be on everywhere. I make the risky decision to go for a run.

5:12 PM
I can't chance overhearing stray bits of conversation or a cheeky sidewalk sandwich board spilling the beans so I keep my earbuds cranked to max volume and eyes low as I run through LA's young and hip neighborhoods.

5:20 PM
I happen to glance at some graffiti that I don't understand. Is this a good omen or someone's impotent reaction to the news that bigotry had been voted into the oval office? And when did I start believing in omens?

6:35 PM
Despite notifications for incoming communications being turned off, I've still had to send a few text here and there. My workaround has been to slightly cross my eyes and hold my phone at an angle to make words illegible while I fumble around iOS to open a blank message. This has mostly worked but unfortunately I've just seen one unopened message from a friend asking "you ok?" I try not to think too much about what this might mean.

7:21 PM
Fuck, being trapped in my house with no internet is boring. Is my cat this bored every single day? I feel so guilty right now.

8:15 PM
My friend (and fellow VICE writer) Mike Pearl is kind enough to have a quick beer with me. As the brainchild of this project, he both owes me the human contact and can be trusted to uphold the integrity of the mission.

8:40 PM
After catching Mike up on what I've been doing and noticing, he gingerly points out that living in this Schroedinger's Election Results box I've built for myself is turning me into a Glenn Beck-esque conspiracy theorist, seeing patterns where none exist. Like how I assume every police siren I hear is on its way to a riot.

10:50 PM
Once again, I'm alone at home and wired from anxiety. I smoke pot that, thanks to California's prop 64, may or may not now be legal in the state of California. If it's not legal, I have a medical card. If it is legal, it was totally recreational. I decide that, while looking up local ballot initiative results would technically be within the rules of this game, it seems against the spirit. Besides, I'm going to need some tiny gifts of good news to unwrap should the darkest timeline await me.

DAY 3

8:00 AM
It's disgusting how programmed I am to reach for my phone and immediately check Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, etc. when I wake. I've had to hurriedly squint and close out of those apps after mindlessly opening them far too many times these past few days.

8:21 AM
Am I addicted to the internet or do I merely want what I can't have?

9:10 AM
Really, though, I can't do the majority of my job without unfettered internet access so I start doing chores around my apartment to pass time.

10:02 AM
I take my laundry down to my building's laundry room to discover it's under construction. Guess I'm venturing out to a laundromat.

10:24 AM
From my peripheral vision, I see the laundromat TVs are on a news channel. I keep my eyes low and make sure the blurry blob of a person on the screen never comes into focus.

1:32 PM
In an attempt at some much needed interpersonal connection, I try playing a multiplayer round of Battlefield 1. As soon as someone on my team starts using the n-word, I remember there's a huge overlap between his ilk and Trump supporters and turn off the game before he has a chance to reveal anything.

1:45 PM
I try to nap and just end up feeling shitty that my privilege allows me to indulge in a game like this when there could very well be people fearing for their lives right now based on the results.

2:32 PM
Today has been less filled with unease, but far more boring and lonely. I miss people. I hope I haven't pissed off anyone trying to reach me these past few days who isn't aware that I'm incommunicado.

3:56 PM
I run to the grocery store to get some food. There's a dark cloud hanging over everyone inside that I'm possibly imagining. I'm really starting to get scared that Trump got elected.

4:00 PM
In an attempt to remain Zen, I put my faith in Nate Silver and all the quants out there who were giving the W to Clinton, last I checked. The die is cast, no matter what I know or don't know, so why not use their cold, unbiased numbers as my rock in these trying times?

9:30 PM
I'm ending this tomorrow at the VICE offices. I will have the results revealed to me first thing in the morning. This is no way to live.

DAY 4

9:00 AM
I'm about to learn the results. I'm giddy with anticipation. I don't care which way this goes anymore, I'm just happy I get to return to society.

9:06 AM
Fuck. I retract my previous statement.

Follow Justin Caffier on Twitter.

Our new series PAYDAY isn't just about the different ways people make money—it's about the way young people are making money today. It's about the lengths people will go to to pay their bills on time and support themselves, and sometimes, a family. We follow a group of 20-somethings over the course of a single pay-period to see what they spend their money on, how they overcome struggle, and what pushes them to keep going.

PAYDAY airs Fridays at 9 PM on VICELAND.

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This article originally appeared on VICE US

In the cataclysmic shitstorm that is life in America right now, it's hard not to think about much else other than the future of this country. When I spoke with director Paul Verhoeven over the phone the morning after the election, it was consuming his mind, too. "I'm scared," he admitted. "In all honesty, I have the feeling that there is a big danger."

Danger is an integral element of Verhoeven's varied filmography, which ranges from allegorical action movies (RoboCop, Total Recall) to erotic dramas (Basic Instinct, Showgirls). He's also proved a lacerating satirist of America's ongoing military fetishization (Starship Troopers). In his most recent film, Elle, the Dutch auteur grounds his film in Paris, where a veritable businesswoman (Isabelle Huppert) finds herself hunting down the man who raped her.

As is the case with most of Verhoeven's work, his characters are more complex than they first appear. Huppert delivers an inimitable performance—something Verhoeven suggested when he said to me, "No American actress would ever take on such an amoral movie."

The amorality of Elle is something we discussed in conversation, along with feminism, sexual violence in contemporary cinema, and where Verhoeven thinks we're headed with Trump at the helm.

VICE: Did you wake up this morning OK?
Paul Verhoeven: I waited till the news came in that Hillary called Trump, and then I saw Trump arriving and talking and then I went to bed. I went to bed knowing what tragedy is unfolding here.

How do you feel about it?
Bad. Depressed. Dangerous. My daughter called me from the East coast and was completely in tears. She was not the only one. Some people were tearful during Hillary's concession speech. In all honesty, I have the feeling that there is a big danger. I'm scared.

Are you going to make a film about now?
It would be better to make about something in the past, than immediately jumping on this. You cannot judge it yet. When you're hit in your gut, you should abstain from immediately trying to translate that in art or expression. I think you have to wait and get more distance before you can attack something like what happened yesterday. It's strange, of course, that Starship Troopers is already describing a fascist utopia.

Your films have had a prescience to them. Do you think your work is able to forecast in part because you're not American?
Because I'm not American—despite living here for 30 years—I have a certain lack of understanding of the US. I didn't grow up here. On the other hand, because of the distance, I'm more inclined to look at the US more objectively, because I'm on the sideline, and because I don't completely identify with the situation. I keep my European view.

What you're saying is, since you're not entirely part of the system, it's easier for you to analyze as an outsider.
Probably, but there will be elements that I miss anyhow because of not being in the USA. It's an advantage and disadvantage. On Starship Troopers, Edward Neumeier and I were not looking at Buenos Aires. We were looking at the US.

That was evident. In thinking about your latest film, you have a character that says, "It's not about the quality of work. It's about a certain demographic." It feels like you—and, in turn, your art—lives inside that quote.
It's not that you make these movies to be successful. You hope they're successful enough so that you can make the next movie. If you make three flops in a row, then you're in 10 years of Hollywood prison. You're very aware, as a filmmaker, that film is not only art. It's an economy. Painting doesn't need money. A composer only needs a pencil and paper. For film, you need ten, twenty, thirty, two hundred million dollars. You're working in a compromise between economy and art. I've always been aware of that. But if you look at wonderful movies, like Lawrence of Arabia, there is a possibility to combine these two elements. You could reach an audience and still tell the people something that isn't completely empty.

Paul Verhoeven and Isabelle Huppert

How do you define success for yourself?
I would say, ten years later, looking at the movie and seeing if it still works or not. When I re-see movies—especially in these retrospectives—I see certain movies where time has not destroyed them. That's true of Lawrence of Arabia, La Dolce Vita, and the films of Charlie Chaplin. If it stands time, like Mozart, that's the most satisfying thing about your work—that it's still meaningful.

You said in a recent interview, "Any argument about filmmaking or art is lost." Do you feel like you've made any art in the last two decades?
I've been trying! Elle is certainly an attempt to be artistic. It's not trying to seduce the audience to like it. It's controversial. It's a very precise expression of what art should be. Even Black Book has these elements—although that may be more in the direction of entertainment. Do I think Hollow Man falls into that category of art? No. I won't say Hollow Man is as hollow as the movie says, but it's certainly, for me, much further away from art than RoboCop. In Hollow Man, I did not succeed.

You noted earlier the "controversial" elements of your films, which are generally your depictions of violence against women.
Violence against women? There's also violence against men, to be honest.

Certainly, but perhaps the controversy is about the fact that it's coming from the vantage point of a man.
OK. Well sure. 1,900 rapes a day, isn't it? In the United States. There is a rape every minute.

Do you think there's a reason in your filmmaking that you continue circling back to this subject?
No, not really. This was a novel, the rape simulation. They were written in the book, and I chose that book. That's my responsibility. I didn't invent it, but I chose that book. I think in our lives, rape, especially for women, that it's a daily threat. More so than guns or traffic accidents. So being aware of the violence in the universe—we're not talking about Earth, we're talking about the whole universe being filled with destruction. Galaxies eating itself up. The scale of destruction in this universe is way, way beyond what we can imagine. This whole universe is based on continuous destruction. Although there is, of course, continuous birth and construction. But the destruction level is staggering. If you look at movies—cars exploding, etc.—our love for destruction is undeniable. To bring that forward is as fundamental as sexuality.

Do you consider yourself a feminist?
No, not the way you say it. I express myself through women better than through men. I'm more at ease with women than with men. I trust myself with women much more than I trust myself with men. I feel at ease with every woman, while with man there is this tension. In that respect, for me, women are extremely important in my life. If that's a feminist...OK. I feel women are fully equal, and sometimes superior.

Are there women filmmakers who have inspired you?
No, I don't know that really well. Really, recently, I've only been inspired by Michael Haneke. When I was younger, there were people in France. When I look at movies I don't think too much about whether the director is male or female. I don't care. I've not been paying attention to that.

We were talking about the sexual violence in film, which is something American cinema has routinely shied away from.
Because it immediately gives you an R-rating, doesn't it? The studios are avoiding R-ratings as much as possible. It will all go to PG.

But do you think that shifting rating—from R to PG-13—is just as much about the shifting ideals of American culture?
There is clearly a desire for studios to make PG and PG-13. It's clear. It has a lot to do with avoiding controversy, or the audience may be walking out. That audiences would be offended, disturbed. That possibility is eliminated as much as possible, while the world is extremely disturbing, if you look around. If you look at the front page—or you open the front page and look inside—it's about disturbance, it's about negativity, it's about what goes wrong, explosions, where people are disagreeing and fighting with each other. The amount of violence in this world is on the front page and most of the pages of any newspaper, including The New York Times. There's a desire on the media side to bring you bad news. You can compare now to the 30s, when they decided when democracy was old-fashioned and should be thrown out the window. It is now rampant again. To become anti-democratic again. To think democracy is not the solution.

You think that's where we're headed?
We're certainly headed towards that at the moment. That doesn't mean we're headed toward World War III, but we're flirting with that.

Last question here. Trump was won. He is going to be President. You are 78, and I assume have more filmmaking in you. What do you think your next couple of years will look like?
There's always an escape to France, right?

Follow Sam Fragoso on Twitter.

As blue America took to the streets this week to rail against of an impending Trump presidency, young queer people especially came out in force—a group searching for answers and solidarity in face of an administration that threatens to roll back their civil rights over the next four years. We met them out in New York City to record their thoughts, feelings, and moods.

Mike Bailey-Gates, 23, Photographer

My greatest fear in the wake of this tragedy is the safety of the people I love—I fear that having a bigot as a popular symbol of power gives other bigots a fire, and gives them a sense of permission. It's already happening. I won't allow that to happen to anyone in front of me. You'll see more resisting, everyone being louder and coming together. Destroy this algorithm that separates our country from our media.

Yera, 23, Stylist

In such a time of despair, there's a lot of things coursing through my mind. What will happen to people of color? People with disabilities? Will my family get deported, even though they've been legal immigrants for years? Will people of color be pursued as criminals more aggressively (as if things weren't aggressive enough)? How brutal and strong will our nation's police forces become? What will happen to my affordable healthcare? Will I no longer have affordable access to my dosage of Truvada? Will that continue the spread of AIDS between low-income folks? What will happen to trans and queer folks? Will these women and men no longer be able to receive proper hormone therapy? Surgeries they need? Will women not be able to wear hijabs? Will they lose their rights to abortions, birth control and access to Planned Parenthood? Will rates of rape and sexual assault rise? Will I not be able to walk outside in heels, makeup, and skirts, and feel as safe as I do today—which is already pretty minimal? Will I have to go through shock therapy? Will I kill myself or will I have to buy a gun?

Hope is difficult, things are in such a terrible state. They will whitewash us like they've done to the news, to his supporters, and to everyone who falls deep into white supremacy—even my own father has fallen suit. It's fucking scary. I have a lot of hope. Some people don't have as much, and that's OK! It's OK to be scared! Hone it, and let it power you to see the change we need. We are more than what they spin us to be. We are such a strong, accepting, beautiful generation. Our hope for a better America is so concrete. I've seen so many colors of change from each side. We have to believe in the power of us—power in numbers, and power in our democracy. We have to believe in the power of people taking power of their government. Not the other way around. United, we are so much stronger than this president.

Quinton Mulvey, 20, Stylist

I'm feeling devastated but inspired. I feel like the only thing left to do is get involved, and I regret not doing it earlier. I'm fearful of everything right now, but most hopeful that love will persevere. This is forcing everyone to come together. I think the community just needs to help each other and force each other to stand up. I'm focusing on anything I can do toward social progress right now, even small things.

From left to right: Eddy, Myles, and Riley, Art Students

My greatest fear is that this election will make hate crimes and discrimination a more public act, just like after 9/11, where Muslims were publicly targeted and attacked. People are going to feel justified in committing crimes and spewing hate towards minorities. I'm hopeful that a majority of millennials were in support of Hillary and not Trump. It's comforting to know that the next generation is more progressive and doesn't share Trump's divisive and toxic mindset.

Sabrina Fuentes, 17, Casting Director

I just fear that he's going to have complete control of the Supreme Court if he chooses to put a Republican in. That's going to influence everything that happens to me. I'm a woman, and I'm afraid that rape cases are going to be dismissed and completely normalized. He's already normalizing sexual violence. He also wants to take back marriage equality, which would directly impact me and almost all of my friends. He wants to deport immigrants and I come from a long line of Latin immigrants.

I want to offer a hand to anybody in need during times like this and times to come, whether it be in the immediate or the long run. I just want to help whoever needs help. I don't know what I'm feeling hopeful for right now. I guess that there are as many people as are protesting tonight that agree with me. At least it seems like it.

Will Knutson, 18, Mixed Media Artist

I'm very frustrated and disappointed in our country. I moved to New York hoping to escape a lot of the beliefs that are common in South Carolina. I feel as if all those terrifying beliefs just became president.

I am so absolutely filled with fear. Who is going to represent the people? Who is going to stand up for women, people of color, LGBTQ people? The only ones who are being represented by Trump are white males. We were all filled with a lot of hope that's things would keep improving before this. We've come so far in the past few years, and this is a huge blow. This is 50 steps back. I'm hopeful that we can take it upon ourselves to promote change.

We need to stick together more now than ever, and we need to be looking out for each other, because we know that the White House is not looking out for us. I make a lot of queer art, and looking a few years ahead, are my First Amendment rights going to be infringed upon? I'm looking at all the artists of color, female artists, queer artists. Continue to grow, continue to work hard, and continue to push back. Make art. Promote change any way you can. Lend a hand to anyone in need.

Leo Avedon, 18, Illustrator

I would really like white gays to be in solidarity with us people of color, but also support and leave space for us to take the forefront, and not just reject our movement or take up space in our movement and force us to the background. I think that's really important for people to be aware of.

I'm fearful that people will become further desensitized to the kind of violence that has been going on in this country for as long as this country has been established. That's my fear because it's been happening and this only furthers it. I know a lot of my friends who had yet to be targeted now have, and that's scary. I don't really have a choice to help or not. This is my life, it's been my life, I've been living my life, I've always been in danger, and I don't have the privilege not to stand up for myself and my siblings of this movement, of this world, of this generation. I have to be working towards a collectively better future. I have no choice. So I'll be in the streets, whenever I can. Hope is something we need, but we also can't be blinded by it to the point where we succumb to ignorance, where we just hope for a better future but don't actively move towards one. I do think hope exists and it's important to not become bitter, and so blinded by our bitterness that we become stagnant.

Chad, 24, Performance Artist

I'm feeling hopefully but scared, you know? I'm hoping that we can come together, but at the same time I don't know how to support somebody who says things that I don't believe in.

My biggest fears are for those who are already scared by the campaign itself—Muslims, my friends, the gay community, people who are disabled, the people who felt disenfranchised by the words that Donald Trump said. I feel like it will only get worse or that they're just scared to even come out and speak up at this point, because now he's our president.

To be honest, I'm trying to find out what I can put into this. I came out here to feel what everyone else is feeling, to be part of a movement, you know? Yes, I am going to accept the fact that Donald Trump is our president, but I am also going to be around people who might not be happy about it, and I think that's OK. We don't have to accept it. We can be peaceful about it and move forward but we don't have to say that this is right, because it's not.

Simon Liber, 14, Painter

America betrayed me. I'm terrified knowing that there are still so many people out there who are against the liberation of queer culture, and so many who support such bigotry. I just hope that there will be a time in my life when I don't feel like this—that one day, I can know that the voices of the queer community are heard just as loudly as my cisgender, heterosexual peers.

Ryker Allen is a photographer based in New York. You can follow his work here.

Fran Tirado is an editor based in New York. You can follow his work here.

The author getting in the Christmas spirit

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

If you're basic enough to follow a Very British Problems-style Twitter account, or you just pay minimal attention to what's going on around you, you'll have noticed that Christmas is coming. Fancy crackers an pigs-and-blankets are being advertised, and John Lewis has done its big thing.

But it's not just products and food you can consume before celebrating the birth of that old dog Jesus Christ in December. There's a whole TV channel on Sky, Christmas 24, dedicated to showing Christmas films – traditionally heartwarming fare – all day, every day.

So on the day of the US election – you know, the one with the racist and the grinning woman people seemed to really hate – I wanted to spend an entire 24 hours of my life watching these films to see if they could make everything better. Let's see how it goes, shall we?

11:04: The antagonist in this story is an English actor who is the fiancé of the attractive lady who will be kissing some guy in the lift. Seems that, even at Christmas, Americans are still sore about the colonies. Get over it, lads!

11:11: There are lots of funeral ads on this channel, which isn't very Christmassy.

11:58: There's only the tiniest tenuous link to Christmas in this film. The whole thing is set in San Francisco, which is sunny, and the plot is more centred around an engagement party than actual Christmas day. It's only little tidbits like a nutcracker doll or a bit of mistletoe that remind you it's supposed to feel festive. Fucking lame.

12:12: Good lord, all these adverts are about PPI compensation, hospices and life insurance. ☹

12:56 One down. The fake fire is back on.

13:01: This one stars Lacey Chabert, who was in Mean Girls and also played Meg Griffin in the first series of Family Guy. Going to go ahead and assume that if she was still doing that she probably wouldn't be starring in the Motion Picture Corporation of America's production of A Royal Christmas.

13:12: This is one is already better. It has snow, a cantankerous mother-in-law in the form of Jane Seymour, it's more knowingly silly. But the adverts about how expensive hearses and coffins are is dragging me right out of the Christmas vibe.

13:39: I fucking love this film. It's Christmassy, it's fun, there's not weird, needless conflict to bolster the jeopardy. For a shitty TV movie it's doing pretty well.

14:00: This is like a Christmas-themed Downton Abbey but with more cutesy bullshit and less young men going to die boneless in the Somme.

14:02: Might start drinking soon.

14:23: Wish I was rich. I'd gladly go full Tory to dance a waltz in a ballroom and then do some £200 gear in the bogs with a man in a kilt.

15:00 That was a great Christmas film, I even misted up a little bit. She was from the wrong side of the tracks but she got her Christmas miracle in the end. Beautiful. Next up, a businesswoman inherits a Christmas tree "farm" and, get this, a lawyer (?!) convinces her not to sell it. Come with me, readers, on this seasonal adventure, while I try to stop myself from drinking spirits.

15:06: Already off to a good start: it's snowing, it's in NYC, there's a sad act Santa hanging around in the cold. If I see another one of these set in fucking Death Valley or some hot-all-year-round shithole I'm gonna be angry.

15:14: Funnily enough, the charming lawyer in this looks like he could also play The Punisher.

15:17: All these yokels want this woman to move back to Hicksville, USA so she can run a business that would only be profitable once a year, and even then it would probably struggle. She has a good job that she's clearly worked hard for. Patriarchy, much? Santa is a man after all.

15:27: There isn't a lot of magic in any of these films. They seem to be just normal situations centred around Christmas as opposed to elves and sleigh bells and stuff. Where's the love?

15:53: Cot dang this film fucking sucks.

16:14: It hasn't got any better. There's this really annoying subplot in which "the city" sucks and Yokeltown is the nice place where all the good, kind people live, even though they're probably all Trump-voting Christmas fascists who think baby Jesus is going to return from the heavens on a blinding white stallion, sword in hand, destroying every mosque he sees. Those guys suck.

16:44: Really bad film. Going to start drinking.

17:00: Okay, next up is A Mission for Christmas, which is about a dead woman coming back as an angel to help with some Christmas stuff or whatever. That's what we need more of: more actual wonder, even if it does involved a reanimated corpse. Magical delight at the most perfect time of year.

17:10: The woman in heaven has an iPad. Heaven probably would have iPads, in fairness, but good ones that wouldn't break, and all the apps would be free, and there would be no waiting times on The Simpsons: Tapped Out.

17:17: Hmm. Steve Job's ghost is here, too. And there's Apple Watches. Is... this ... shitty... Christmas movie... sponsored by Apple?

17:25: It's set in Portland, this one. It's a hipster angel Christmas film; bang into it so far. Six-and-a-half hours in, things are looking up, guys. There always seems to be some rando English actors in these films – is that because so many English people go to America to find fame but actually find themselves in these weird lame TV movies? Is this where they all go?

17:40: I sense this is going to become very difficult. Six hours in it's not so bad. The alcohol is helping. Hilariously, many of the actors in these movies look very similar to more successful actors. There was a fake Tom Hiddleston in the royals movie; this one has a fake Chris Pratt.

19:20: All of these films are about self-absorbed New Yorkers. Isn't Christmas about family? Togetherness? Are these movies aimed at self-centred millennials? Because if so, I think they're barking up the wrong tree.

19:30: So fucking bored wow.

19:47: Okay, this one is straight up just a rom-com; not even trying to be Christmassy.

20:16: Another common theme with these American "Christmas" films is a dichotomy between the country and the city, and somehow trying to find your "heart" in either of them. The heart is lost in the city and found again in rural areas.

20:44: Not even halfway done. Lordy-loo.

21:45: Watching another rom-com style one rn. I've checked the next one and it's at least got actual Santa in it, so I'm holding out hope. Is Santa copyrighted or something? Can you not do a film about Santa unless you pay Coca Cola a million quid?

22:01: I really, really want to do anything that isn't watching these films right now. Just seen a MacMillan advert where a bloke with cancer rings up the call centre crying and the woman just goes, "Walk on. Walk on." Now, I'm no therapist, but telling a guy with cancer to jog on seems a bit harsh.

23:01: Right, let's do this. This one has real Christmas shit in it. Prancer's here! Remember Prancer? He's one of the reindeers along with Rudolf and all those other guys. Prancer's hoof is busted and they have to get another reindeer. Enter stage left: a hard-faced, hard-on-her-luck mother with a fucked up reindeer ranch who's in dire need of a Christmas miracle. Only 12 more hours to go!

23:59: Mrs. Claus is basically Meddlesome Ratbag from Viz in this film.

00:14: As I'm watching these, the American election is being declared. This is a happy coincidence. I was supposed to do this last week but it fell through. How can sitting at home watching TV fall through, you ask? It can, trust me.

00:26: Might silently watch some porn as a distraction, just to change it up a little.

00:46: Trump is taking an early lead as this, my seventh Christmas film of the day, reaches its emotional peak. That PornHub tab is looking mighty fine right about now!

00:51: The magic is over. Next up is a "romantic drama". Someone give me a fentanyl enema.

00:58: Got a cognac on the go now. Ready to be bored out of my fucking skull again during the upcoming "romantic drama".

01:12: I don't really know what's going on in the election – just seeing a big red map of the USA. Trump looking pre-tty good from here. The film is very easy to follow. There's a woman from True Blood in it who's afraid of commitment, and her love interest has a bet that he can't get a girl to commit before Christmas. We all know what's happening.

01:14: Getting another drink.

01:27 This one has a John C. Reilly lookalike in it, if John C. Reilly was pumped full of dog food.

01:39: I'm trying to watch this boring Christ-rom, but it's looking a little bit like Donald Trump is going to be the president of America, ergo planet Earth. Tough to concentrate on this shitty movie, NGL.

01:42: I've got a feeling Trump's going to win this. Remember Brexit and how that was going to be chill and we all thought "no way" and then it turned out to be very "yes way"? Feels a bit like that. I also have nine more hours of fucking trash to go.

02:03: I've got Alex Jones on Infowars screaming over all the people singing carols on TV.

02:14: They just did the thing again where the man character is doing something righteous and the music plays over him talking and slow zooms on the girls face as she swoons with festive delight. Trump is projected to win Arkansas.

02:29: Starting to get quite tired now.

02:31: Not one person has mentioned Christmas once in this fucking film. Why is it even on this channel?

02:40: It's raining. A Bride for Christmas has just finished. Only one more film until teleshopping begins. I've downloaded It's A Wonderful Life for this eventuality so I have something to watch in the two-hour interval before normal programming resumes at 7AM.

02:45: The crackling of the fake fire on the TV is rattling through me. Some New York Times graphic is telling me that there's a 54 percent chance of Trump winning the election.

02:58: The fake fire is torture. Hell is not real fire. Hell is fake fire taunting you with its lack of purpose.

03:01: Awwwwwwww shit, Meadow from The Sopranos is the main character in this one. This may not seem a big deal to you, but 17 hours in, a familiar face has really excited me.

03:26: Good GOD this one is depressing. Lots of dead mums and dads and lost children. Bumming me out, but somehow making me feel strangely alive? Trump leads 150 to 109, though I don't really know what that means. 109 what? Thought there would be more votes than that, to be honest. Another ad break.

03:56: Seven more hours.

04:22: Literally don't know what is going on any more. I'm so very tired. My brain is completely filled with shit. These films feel like something the government would stick on to make you forget that they're flooding your nervous system with fluoride and nuclear runoff.

04:38: There goes the ninth film, washed away like a liquorice rollie into a near-overflowing gutter. I will now watch It's A Wonderful Life.

05:02: It's Trump: 244, Clinton: 209. Probably going to win by the looks of it.

But nothing about this election follows any formula I'm aware of. It was the same with Brexit: the walls around me melted and I scrunched up my face and frowned at a computer screen – the same thing I do when I see the line-up of the celebrity edition of a reality show. I feel completely disconnected, and worse feel impotently unable to connect, and in many ways I don't want to connect. I'm quite happy to release myself into the sanctuary of mental comfort, only poking my head out of the anthill to produce a tiny opinion worthless against a landslide of insanity – but my insanity is millions of other people's salvation.

I don't understand the extreme polarisation. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough. Maybe I'm just too tired and am talking bollocks.

06:25: George Bailey's life is a shit show. The films are not stopping. They won't announce who the president is yet and my chest is tightening. I don't know how much more depressing Christmas movie x depressing autumnal reality I can take.

06:53: I'm calling it, guys. James Stewart is about to jump off a bridge and I think it's high time we all joined him. America has, once again, in its own special microcosmic way, decided to fuck not only itself, but potentially everyone else. Whereas at the start of this journey to the heart of chintz I believed their lives would remain largely untouched by this election, I now, in my exhausted delirium, think the opposite, and it's all guns blazing from here on out.

Nice one, lads. Good job. At least we're no longer responsible for the worst decision of 2016. And we have better Christmas films.

@joe_bish

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Donald Trump with Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi—who his foundation once gave money to in violation of IRS rules and who is now on his presidential transition team—in the rain in April. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert, File)

This article originally appeared on VICE US

A lot of things make Donald Trump—who is about to be president—an unusual commander-in-chief, and one is that he has 75 pending lawsuits against him. One of those suits, which alleges that Trump funded a fraud-based business seminar for six years, has a trial date this month, meaning the president-elect may have to testify in court before he is sworn in on January. (As of Friday, it's looking more likely that he'll wind up settling in that case.)

Famous people attract all kinds of nonsense lawsuits from unhinged people—one dude recently sued the Democrats and the Republicans, including Trump, for all being puppets of the Illuminati. But Trump has suits pending against him that sound a lot more credible than that, like the one saying a golf club he owns collected membership fees from some people while not allowing them to use the facilities. (Trump has said that his son Eric runs the club).

Then of course there's the huge number of informal complaints relating to Trump's alleged habit of sexually assaulting and demeaning women. If those turn into lawsuits—and at least one looks like it may—the ensuing legal proceedings might bog the Trump administration down in tabloid spectacle.

To find out more about how lawsuits against the most powerful person in the country work, I got in touch with University of Texas law professor and political law pundit Stephen Vladeck. He reminded me that Americans have a rich tradition of suing our presidents, but he also predicted that individuals trying to sue over Trump's government policies will be one of the biggest stories to watch over the next four years.

VICE: If Trump has to testify in the Trump University case, does being president-elect give him any special priveleges?
Stephen Vladeck: Nope. There's no special protection that a president-elect has as compared to say a private person, or a major party nominee. All the privileges and immunities that come with being president don't actually kick in until you're actually the president.

But do you think he'll get some kind of preferential treatment anyway?
Let's be honest: Judges are humans. There's no question that the status of the president-elect will surely weigh on the judges as they consider threshold procedural questions in these cases. The point is that none of those are formal.

"He has something called 'absolute immunity' which means he cannot be sued anything he does in a personal capacity while he's president."

What about the inevitable litigation that will crop up after he takes the oath of office?
The critical distinction that the Supreme Court has drawn is between immunity from suits for conduct undertaken while he's president, and his immunity from suits for conduct that predates his presidency.

What happens if he's sued for something he does while he's president?
He has something called "absolute immunity" which means he cannot be sued anything he does in a personal capacity while he's president.

When you say "in a personal capacity," are you saying that doesn't include lawsuits over his policies?
You wouldn't be suing him personally. You'd be suing the United States.

What's something the sitting president could do "in a personal capacity" that's protected by that immunity?
If President Trump were to, y'know, sexually harass a White House employee. Now, that employee might have a civil service–related claim, but she's not gonna have a personal tort claim against President Trump.

Can she sue him after his term is up?
He retains the immunity after he leaves office for conduct undertaken while he's president. This all comes from a 1982 case called Nixon v. Fitzgerald. A former employee tried to sue for retaliation.

What about lawsuits over things President Trump allegedly did before he took office?
The Supreme Court in 1997 distinguished Nixon v. Fitzgerald in a case called Clinton v. Jones—the Paula Jones case—and held unanimously that the absolute immunity recognized in the Nixon case does not extend to actions taken by the president prior to assuming office. It was because of Clinton v. Jones that the deposition was taken in which President Clinton lied. And then all hell broke loose.

I want to touch on that, because Clinton eventually got impeached because of that lie. Could the fallout from any of Trump's impending legal problems result in his impeachment?
"High crimes and misdemeanors"—the constitutional grounds for impeachment—is really not a precise or well-understood term, and frankly encompasses whatever conduct two-thirds of the House and Senate agree that it encompasses.

So just being orange could be grounds for impeachment if two-thirds of the House and Senate said so?
...Or if he was a Taylor Swift fan. There are very good histo-political reasons why, historically, Congress has construed that term much more narrowly. But ultimately what that term means is up to Congress and Congress alone in that context. Congress has oftentimes relied on the view that "high crimes and misdemeanors" is a special and narrow category of offenses, it's unhelpful to conflate that with civil and criminal liability. It's unique in the sense that it's all a creature of what Congress wants it to be.

"Once he becomes president, Donald Trump basically is the federal government, and there's lots of ways to sue the federal government when it violates your rights."

Back to lawsuits: Even if something goes to court, he's the president, so is it safe to doubt that any trial would be normal?
Clinton v. Jones did suggest that courts should think carefully about how they conduct such litigation to minimize the burden on the president's ability to discharge his duties, including perhaps in some cases putting litigation on hold for some time, perhaps even the entire duration of the presidency. But the Constitution does not require that. Only Justice Breyer, who wrote a separate concurrent opinion in Clinton v. Jones, thought that the Constitution might have been offended by the possibility of civil litigation interfering with the president's duties.

But what if I wanted to sue Trump for damages his government did to me or my family?
Once he becomes president, Donald Trump basically is the federal government, and there's lots of ways to sue the federal government when it violates your rights. But I think one thing people are gonna find out if they don't know already is that the Supreme Court has been remarkably successful for the last 35 years at making harder for private individuals to sue the federal government. My hope is that that won't come back to bite us in the next four or eight years, but I'm not optimistic.

So that case where those kids are suing President Obama over global warming isn't looking good?
We're a long way away from it turning into damages.

Why?
There are so many procedural obstacles that courts and to a lesser degree Congress have imposed that allow courts to get rid of these cases without actually ruling on the merits—without actually saying whether it was lawful. The result of that is a world in which there's less and less new law made every day by the federal courts. Whether that new law is pro-government, or pro-plaintiff, it's just not happening either way. And that's going to become more and more apparent when the government is taking novel action against particular groups of its citizens, or novel inaction to protect the rights of its citizens.

Will categories of people who are the targets of "novel action" as you put it—say, Muslims who don't like being targeted by unwarranted surveillance—be able to sue?
This is the biggest structural legal question of a Donald Trump administration: whether courts are going to, all of a sudden, re-assert the importance of private civil litigation as a check on unlawful government action.

Will the ACLU be able to keep its promise to wage constitutional warfare on President Trump?
It might be hard to do that if the courthouse doors are functionally closed to those kinds of claims. The question about Donald Trump's immunity from suit is just one part in a larger—and in some ways much darker—story about the difficulties that any private citizen would have today in suing the government for violating his or her rights.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

A still from 'The Love 'Witch'

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

An alluring outsider arrives in a new town. People start to disappear. Rumors of murder begin to circulate. The cop on the case is all hard-boiled masculinity, but he has a weakness for women and his loyalties are split. The tropes are classic noir, but Anna Biller's new thriller subverts them with a distinctly feminine twist.

The Love Witch is a playful, plush, and gory romp about a young sorceress who cruises into a coastal California town, desperate to lure a new love.

Elaine, played by Samantha Robison, is fleeing the mysterious death of her ex-husband. Disappointed by men in her past and the deficit between how they see her and how she wants to be seen, she's turned to love spells to achieve her romantic dreams. Trippy sex scenes and Wiccan rituals follow, along with a dash of magic involving a used tampon. Soon, Elaine's paramours find themselves enchanted. And then they find themselves dead.

Unable to handle the intense feelings the young witch has stirred in them, and proving themselves inadequate for Elaine, they die of curious causes that the film leaves purposely ambiguous. Is it the potions? Or can they just not handle a powerful woman taking control?

Still from 'The Love Witch'

Through arch dialogue and a complete conviction in its retro set (inspired by the Thoth tarot deck, and handmade—down to the pentagram rug—by Biller herself) the film is a camp tragicomedy whose overall effect somehow manages to be totally sincere. A Hammer Horror movie where the monster is, if not the patriarchy, then patriarchy's Frankenstein: a woman driven mad and murderous by trying to cater to male desire.

In the Western imagination, witches are often anchored in misogynistic anxieties around female agency. But we have always been as likely to covet as well as cower from them—something Anna Biller knows well.

"Elaine represents two things," she tells me over Skype. "One is the fear of female sexuality and female power. The other is the strength that women feel when they own their sexuality and allure." Elaine, who looks like Edwige Fenech crossed with Lana del Rey, has the kind of face that acts like a mirror. As a female viewer you can project yourself onto her and feel infused with the character's irresistible charms.

Still from 'The Love Witch'

"That's something I like to feel when I'm watching beautiful women on screen. I like to feel that I am that woman. I have that beauty, I have that power. It's a kind of narcissistic attachment," Biller agrees. She says that when she was making films in college she had an epiphany about how to create art. "Be true to yourself and who you really are, but also, be true to yourself as a woman." For the young filmmaker, that still felt radical. The narcissistic identification that she'd grown to love watching older movies—raised on a diet of VHS tapes and visits to old prop warehouses—wasn't really present in contemporary films. So she vowed to make work that dealt with her life experience, and, crucially, to make things that gave her pleasure.

Biller admits that the film is designed to produce a different effect on women and men. A lot of the early reviewers were male critics who focused primarily on the movie's style; Biller's ornately crafted sets and the tropes she borrowed from horror and giallo movies. It's a source of frustration for the filmmaker, who evokes those genres to subvert them rather than to pay homage. She says it's been funny because the moments a lot of male reviewers are saying "this is where the film drags" are the moments she sees as anchoring the film thematically, and the ones female viewers most respond to.

Still from 'The Love Witch'

"For men, they get this incredibly stunning woman to look at, but on the other hand there's nothing emotionally gratifying for them. It just makes them surly," she laughs. Many of these moments are discussions about love and female selfhood, with Trish, Elaine's new friend, doubling as her foil. When Elaine discloses her thoughts on how to get a man to fall in love with her, Trish tells her that she sounds as though she's been brainwashed by the patriarchy.

Biller is very clear about distinguishing between a woman discovering and owning her sexuality and a woman feeling societally or financially pressured into becoming a sexualized being. The film's core theme concerns an age-old dance between feminine dichotomies. Men in the movie lament that they can't find an intellectual woman who attracts them sexually, or a woman who turns them on and offers stimulating conversation. For all the time she spends making herself pliant and doll-like, what's really bubbling in Elaine's cauldron is rage against these fabricated polarities. "A single woman has so many dimensions within her. We're not like these stereotypes that men make of us," Biller says, adding that she drew on her own life and love experiences writing The Love Witch; relationships where she didn't feel seen and an adolescence surrounded by girls anxiously vying for male attention.

I tell Biller that I sometimes felt like a witch growing up, and she says she did too. For her, part of it was the appeal of having power, but it was also about feeling othered. "Living in a patriarchy and having a lot of these things that feel natural and innate to you feeling as though they're evil or different." The film initially premiered at horror festivals around the world, where its bright, kitschy aesthetics must have stood out against the other offerings. But the horror in The Love Witch is not about blood and gore (though there is a high body count). It's about the horror of being a woman.

Still from 'The Love Witch'

One of the genre's biggest clichés is a man exacting revenge on women who refuse to conform, the "slut" figure who always dies first. The director argues that men can feel relaxed by the spectacle of women getting killed because "it kind of sublimates the hidden rage they have that they're not even conscious of." The Love Witch might work similarly on female-identified viewers: "I think with female audiences, they don't even see the film as violent. It's the same thing; they're kind of relaxed. They see these jerks dying and it's kind of satisfying."

Witchcraft aside, The Love Witch feels like alchemy itself. An entire universe crafted from one female auteur's imagination. Biller not only wrote and directed the film, she also created the sets, costumes, and even composed original songs. "Being an artist and creating things, it all feels like magic to me, so I think the film is also about that."

Follow Kate Loftus O'Brien on Twitter.

I've driven across Canada before, but I only saw the postcards. This summer I decided to take my time: My partner and I bought a 1987 motorhome off Kijiji and took our Brazilian doberwiener* on a penniless, unplanned four-month road trip. The highlight? Almost everything in between the highlights, from weird-ass small towns straight out of The Twilight Zone to adjourning a quarrel with my boyfriend when I realized we were driving through the goddamn Northern Lights. After leading a nomadic life for the last four years, it was pretty epic to show my little Brazilian family how mind-blowing Canada is.

To see more of Stephanie Foden's work, check out her website.

*At the time of the publishing of this story, Brazilian doberwieners were still not a thing. Let's make it happen.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

Well sure: I do not think this is going to be the last photo of the Trump presidency that we are going to dive deeply into. There is the photo of President Trump firing an M16 carbine into the white heat of a desert training range (Nov '17). President Trump getting his dick caught in a White House issued paper shredder (March '18). President Trump spilling a gallon jug of Diet Coke over the nuclear control panel, his lips curling round in the shape of a dental dam while he destroys Canada (Jan '17). There are, we can all agree, going to be a lot of pictures.

This is the first picture:

(Photo: Pablo Martinez Monsivais AP/Press Association Images)

Yesterday, president-elect Trump met President Obama for the first time (this is a picture of that). On the surface it doesn't look like a whole lot: Trump's doing his usual the-dude-in-the-locker-room-who-has-to-use-doctor-prescribed-deodorant-describes-sex-he-definitely-did-with-a-French-girl-but-she-doesn't-go-to-this-school-you-wouldn't-know-her hand loop, and Obama's doing his I-can't-believe-she-got-with-him-straight-after-me pining-yet-brave ex-boyfriend look, and yeah, everyone's playing more or less to form.

There's a video of the press conference they did below: the two spoke for an hour-and-a-half in private before meeting the press, and I can only assume by the shellshocked look on Trump's face throughout that Obama showed him Some Extremely Gnarly Area 51 Shit, or the blood ritual room, or something. Gently led him to a basement where he has Osama Bin Laden, still alive and trussed by the nuts to a car battery, begging in fractured US English for the sweet release of death. That sort of thing.

But let's not think about Osama Bin Laden's testicles twitching softly in slow pulsing time with what's left of his heartbeat. Let's instead look closer at the five key flash points which I think really tell the story of this picture. Siri, analyse:

DONALD TRUMP'S AMERICA BADGE

Is this the most American badge it is possible to get? Unless there is an enamel pin of a bald eagle dropping some slow-cooked pork into the mouth of Honey Boo Boo (Etsy, wys?), then yes, almost definitely. This is merch. This is merch that says: "I am the most American person in America."

Which makes me think: what sweet merch do you get for being president? First day at VICE I got a bunch of sweet merch: a pen, embossed notebook, a load of printed out HR codes of behaviour, a tote bag, business cards, a business card holder, stickers. And I'm not even important, both in the grand scheme of the universe and here at this company. Imagine what the president gets. He gets a million dollar armoured tank of a car as standard. He gets his own jet with a cool nickname. That's just the stuff we know about. Does Donald Trump get silk, American flag bedsheets now? A £100,000 pen for signing important documents? What about tiny soaps? What is the tiny soap selection at the White House like? Does he get a little tied-with-a-ribbon plastic sachet of decorative fudges and chocolates, like you get in nice hotels? Did he get that just now? Did he have a cheeky fudge or chocolate, or did he save the packet to take home to his kid, like every other dad on Earth? I have to know these things. I have to know what the presidential merch situation is like.

OBAMA'S HANDS

I do this hand gesture in those weird last eight minutes of a meeting that everyone knows is over and it's time to go to lunch but the person leading the meeting keeps idly questioning into the ether "is there anything we forgot to mention?" and shuffling papers and saying stuff like "oh yeah: actually, no, you know what, I'll send a follow up e-mail" and asking simple pointless questions like "so we'll do this again next... Tuuuuuesday?" and waits for someone to audibly say "yes" before they go "OK" and get up to leave, and so essentially what Obama is doing here, with his hands, is very politely and quietly resisting the urge to punch himself and then Trump.

TRUMP'S HANDS

This is the exact hand gesture of a clown who has wobbled off the rails and made a giant balloon animal penis at a kid's party that makes so many children cry it gets in the local paper. This is also apparently the hand gesture of the president now. I don't think people pay attention to Trump's hand gestures enough. This is your auntie describing a really good pasta plate she had at Jamie's Italian this weekend. This is the hand gesture I do to my barber when he's fucked up my undercut but I'm too polite to tell him. This is an assassin pulling a wire of floss taut between his fingers before yanking it through the neck of a political rival. Trump doing a double-OK leers me out like no other gesture on earth.

OBAMA FACE

If I have learnt anything from anime, based on that temple vein alone Obama is about to yell for about 60 straight seconds and then shoot a beam of light out of his two balled up fists before executing a perfect Ryu kick-attack that takes Trump's K.O. bar to zero in front of a crowd of men nestled around barrels.

TRUMP'S EXTREMELY FUCKED UP TIE, OH MY GOD

MOTHERFUCKER HOW BIG IS YOUR TIE

WHO TIES A TIE LIKE THIS

YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND YOU TIE YOUR TIE WORSE THAN THE ONE TIME A YEAR I HAVE TO TIE A TIE FOR A WEDDING

IT TAKES ME SIX GOES TO TIE A TIE AND I STILL TIE IT BETTER THAN THIS

BRO WHAT THE FUCK MAN DO U GET YOUR TIES ESPECIALLY MADE

'HELLO CHINA? I WANT THE MOST FUCKED UP TIE IN THE WORLD. YUGE TIE. FANTASTIC MASSIVE MENTAL TIE.'

'TIE LIKE A WALL BETWEEN MY DICK AND MY MOUTH'

'THE TIE MUST TOUCH THE DICK. MUST. ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT THAT MY TIE FLOPS IDLY AGAINST MY DICK.'

'PLEASE EMBROID THE WORDS "TRUMP'S DICK TICKLER" IN THE BACK OF THE TIE SO THAT I KNOW THIS ABSURD EXTRA LARGE TIE IS MY OWN.'

HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW TO UNBUTTON HIS SUIT JACKET WHEN HE SITS DOWN

YOU VOTED FOR THIS

YOU VOTED FOR A GUY WHO HASN'T READ 'GQ' EVEN ONCE

HE MAKES A $6,000 SUIT LOOK LIKE AN EXTREMELY HARROWINGLY AGED CHILD WEARING A MOSS BROS HIRE SUIT TO PROM

SOME ROBIN WILLIAMS JACK (1996) SHIT

SINGLE CONDOM IN HIS BREAST POCKET

£50-PER-HOUR LIMO RIDE BUT NO FRIENDS TO GO WITH HIM

SLOW DANCING ALONE, LEANING HIS LEGS FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER, HANDS CLICKING SLIGHTLY OUT OF TIME

CRIES IN THE TOILETS TWO ENTIRE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT

TELLS THE TEACHER ABOUT SOME OTHER KIDS, COOLER KIDS, FURTIVELY SMOKING POT

BARELY DISGUISED ERECTION AGAINST THE BAND OF HIS PANTS WHEN HE SEES TWO GIRLS CHASTELY HUG

WET LOOK HAIR GEL COMBED THROUGH HIS FRINGE AND NOWHERE ELSE

HAS TO GO TO HOSPITAL AFTER A SINGLE PLASTIC BEAKER OF PUNCH

THIS

THIS IS YOUR PRESIDENT

@joelgolby

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This article originally appeared on VICE Australia/New Zealand

Even in the age of body-positivity, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone that cannot identify one physical insecurity. The universal quest for perfection means self-improvement is ingrained. In fact, I was raised on it. My friends and I were discussing thigh gaps as young as nine. By 12 we could all identify what we would "get done", if we lived in an ideal world where elective surgery was affordable and without social stigma. Ten years later, two of my friends have now had cosmetic surgery.

Two weeks ago, my 21-year-old friend told me she was undergoing elective surgery to change her nose. The 21st-century me thought, 'sure, we all have our "things" (body hang ups), but should we really invest that much time and effort simply to conform to media-propagated beauty standards? Who, in this hyper self-oriented universe, stops thinking about themselves long enough to really judge someone else?'

Then there was the 12-year-old me, who was extremely envious that I couldn't, wouldn't, or wasn't brave enough, to invest in my self-esteem and improve myself the way she did.

Auckland surgeon Stephen Mills says there has been a prominent increase in young women seeking cosmetic surgery in New Zealand. While body insecurity has always run rampant among teens, Dr Mills attributes this growing desire for surgery to the information age. He says young people are seeing cosmetic procedure results shared online so are more aware of what is available and "less prepared to put up with issues, especially when there are possible solutions".

" are so focussed on the here and now that they don't always give sufficient consideration to the future, they can also be very sensitive to negative comments. Without being patronising, it is important for a surgeon to be aware of these issues and always maintain a sensible position."

Enter the Kylie Jenner-conundrum. The reality star and makeup mogul is perhaps the youngest celebrity to admit to having undergone cosmetic procedure. She finally acknowledged her lip injections, after a whole lot of conjecture, at age 18. She's also a multi-millionaire in her own right. There are millions of memes dedicated to before and after photos of Kylie, consoling audiences with the fact that no one's ugly, they're just "poor".

Image via Flickr user Rakesh Sharma.

That's just it, my friends aren't rich. They can't really afford these surgeries and, honestly neither can I. It's not a case of having an extra 20 grand around that you don't know what to do with; we are young people with student loans, young people who want to travel the world. Instead they (or their parents) are investing years of savings to actively address their insecurity.

This concerns Dr Mills. An increased desire for plastic surgery among young people, coupled the massive cost of procedures, might drive younger patients to seek a more affordable option, or as Dr Mills worries, under the scalpels of untrained surgeons who "may not have the patient's best interests as their prime motivation".

Even though my friends were willing to fork out for the best possible treatment, the lure of a quick-fix might mean people forgo research for a cheaper option.

Michaiah Simmons-Villari learned the hard way the importance of research when it comes to plastic surgery. She has just had her breast implants from her early 20s removed as a result of silicone toxicity poisoning. She later discovered that silicone implants were banned by the FDA until 2006, then controversially put back into production.

Michaiah Simmons-Villari. Image supplied.

Michaiah would have been one of the first to get silicone implants—which for her meant a decade of fainting, seizures, insomnia and many more symptoms. By 31 she felt like she was dying, so she looked online and secured an emergency surgery to get them removed. Only recently has Michaiah really considered the reasons she sought augmentation to begin with, which were rooted in her desire to look like early 90s Pamela Anderson.

"I realise now that while I did it for myself and because I wanted to, that aspiring to look like someone else is not the best thing for someone. I actually didn't even tell my family, I just made up my mind and did it."

Acknowledging your own vanity to friends and family can be even more difficult than mustering the sum for surgery. As more celebrities have become increasingly vocal about their plastic surgery, they are often admonished, or when their beauty is in question, disregarded for not being "natural". I've often heard Kylie Jenner, objectively beautiful even before surgery, being called "fake" after she admitted to lip enhancements.

Rachel*, who had her breasts enlarged at 22, was naturally worried about how those around her would react. "My reservations were toward the negative attention that comes along with it, people judging was a real concern."

Anna*, also in her early 20s, is soon to have breast augmentation surgery. She says she never considered what people might think, what really mattered to her was that her body will finally be in proportion. She also thinks much of the elective surgery stigma comes from those who overdo it.

"Socially I think when people hear you have had your boobs done there are stereotypes of big fake tits, but I think many more people have been getting their boobs done and you can barely tell. I'm getting the operation to make me happier with my body and build my self esteem. I've thought about it since I was probably 17."

As happy I was that, like Anna, my friend was actively taking control of her insecurities, my dissonance was far beyond the usual fact that cosmetic surgery is messing with nature. What I found most concerning was that when my friend spoke of her surgery she categorised her life so far as "pre-nose", while she was soon to be "post-nose." It was as if she hadn't even been alive prior. I was disappointed. Disappointed that she felt like she had to adhere to what was "conventional" beauty. Disappointed because I couldn't see anything wrong about her nose to begin with.

No matter how much Rachel loves her bigger breasts, she says she's "bit bummed that conformed to a standardised version of beauty".

"There's no such thing as a cookie-cutter perfect body. Femininity cannot be defined by cup size. I don't regret anything, but at the age I am now, I don't think I would go through with the procedure."

We want to fit in and that's fine. In fact, we conform in an aesthetic sense, every day. We colour our hair, our skin, our eyelashes. So what do we really have to fear? Should we worry about turning into clones? Or be concerned that those of us that can't afford self-improvement, will be ostracised from society as "ugly" and unable to keep up?

Sure, surgery is more expensive and more invasive than other beauty treatments, but regardless of your age, if you've got issues with yourself, you've got issues. It's definitely worth evaluating where those issues derive from, but if they're prominent enough to affect your quality of life, they should be addressed. Although as Rachel explains, it's dangerous to treat any cosmetic procedure as a magic fix-all for all your inner hang-ups.

"The older I get the more I realise that beauty definitely comes from within. The good in your soul radiates out. Curves are womanly, but being womanly is also about the way you carry yourself, grace, intelligence and all that, which should have just as much of an emphasis."

You can have a flawless nose or perky, bra-less breasts, but a perfectly proportional body will still only get you so far because afterwards, you'll likely still be the same person. It's also important to remember it's still 2016, no one really has any time to think about your body "thing", whatever it may be—we're too busy thinking about ourselves.

Follow Beatrice on Instagram.

Erbil flea market in Iraq (All photos by Ahmed Twaij)

This post originally appeared on VICE UK

There aren't that many safe havens left in Iraq. Erbil, one of a few, has seen a massive influx of internally displaced persons (IDPs) over the last two years, following the alarming and brutal spread of ISIS forces across Iraq.

Erbil's famous flea market, Souk Al-Lenga, sells second-hand items from across Kurdistan and is a common place for both tourists and locals to pick up a few bits and pieces. Over the last two years, the market has developed to cater for the needs of IDPs who've fled their homes, escaping the destructive path of war with often nothing but the clothes on their backs.

With winter on its way, these IDPs search for a cheap way to renew their wardrobes and stay warm. We asked a few people we met, most of whom couldn't show their faces for the sake of their families' safety, to show us the items they needed most. Here's what they had to say.

Mohammed Moneeb, 38, from Mosul

"I've been looking for winter clothes. This is a dress for my daughter, just seeing her happy makes me so excited. We need clothes, having left with nothing. We've left our homes and are now paying rent. It's difficult for us."

Barzan Hussain Mohammed, 21, an IDP from Shirqat.

"The reason I liked this jumper is because the price was suitable for me. We left everything behind when we fled. I don't have any winter clothes, I hope this will keep me warm."

Khawla Mowaffaq Ahmed, 35, a widower with four children.

"I bought this top as it's what I can afford. I've had to borrow money to buy this. Winter has come and we don't have clothes."

Mahmood Hamad Hassan, 54, an unemployed teacher and IDP from Ramadi.

"I'm actually looking for a coat for my brother. He lives with me in Erbil but he's planning on going back to Ramadi so this is to keep him warm on the cold journey back."

Maysa Anwar, 20, a nursing student and IDP from Salaheddin.

"This long dress is the only thing suitable for wearing in the hospital. I hope the nursing school approves otherwise I have to return it. I shop at the flea market as I can find everything here; work, home and going out clothes. And the price is good."

Qasim Manaa. 33, a former taxi driver from Salaheddin.

"This is my favourite purchase, I liked this jacket the most because my daughter picked it out. Prices are reasonable here. We left with no clothes other than what we were wearing, and we need winter clothing. The clothes here are clean and suitable for the kids."

Mahmud Jadaan, 18, who hopes to study Economics when he gets back to Fallujah later this year.

"It's a simple and pretty dress, that my sister really likes. I've come to buy clothes for my sisters; they come so often. Me? Not so much. The prices here are good and there is so much to choose from."

Zaid Saleh, 11, from Salaheddin.

"I liked this toy, I like things which are different, it keeps me happy."

"It keeps him occupied," adds Fazia Ahmed Mutlaq, his mother. "it's my favourite buy today, seeing him enjoy himself."

@twaiji

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Check out Ida's Tumblr, blog, and Instagram.

All photos by Chris Bethell

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

If 2016 were a small child, it would be on Santa's naughty list. The lump of coal it would get instead of a present would crush it. But that doesn't mean we can't celebrate Christmas this year! In times like this, when everyone has weirder views, and traditions like "resisting fascism" head for the door, do we even know what Christmas means?

To find out, I went down to a central London Christmas lights turning-on event, held by Spanish party masters Elrow on Carnaby Street. I needed to find out about the true meaning of the festive season. I also dressed as Santa, because banter.

When I got there at ??PM, I was greeted by what can only really be described as an event that was "popping off". Carnaby Street had been turned into a massive rave, with a DJ booth blasting out pumping tech house and half the crowd looking completely bemused or scared and the other half positively having it large, mate.

Then the countdown for the Christmas lights began – to the sound of the official best Christmas song, Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" – and when it reached zero, confetti blasted out whilst actors dressed in fancy dress (Frida Khalo, Prince, The Beatles on stilts) danced around.

It was, to be scientific about it, absolute madness. Not immediately what comes to mind when you think of Christmas but then hey, what do I know? It's not like I'm bloody Santa Claus or anything. Oh wait, I am. So what does everyone want from me, Santa Claus, for Christmas? What things should I lay under your tree after having stealthily broken into your house, at night, whilst you were sleeping, and eaten all your food?

I spoke to Susan, 51, and her daughter Bella, 23, to find out. "Well actually, my mother had a nasty fall recently and isn't able to walk at the moment. I think what we'd all want as a family is for her to get better and be able to walk."

She looked lovingly at Bella, who silently nodded her head, and smiled.

Right in the feels. As they tottered off to do some shopping and I had to take a short break because I just had something in my eye, I was confronted by a massive chicken with a sign that read "FREE HUGS". This was the Elrow chicken, the Elrow party mascot, whose main job is, it seems, to go round filling up everyone's Instagram feeds with selfies while giving out those hugs free. I asked him, while dancing, how he feels about Christmas?

"Well Christmas is actually a sad time for me because my brother, the turkey, get's a right trouncing." That sounds sad, Elrow chicken. It sounds like you need a hug, from Santa. And hug we did, oh brothers and sisters, hug we did.

I still hadn't quite found out the definitive meaning of the festive spirit at a time of year dominated by one major religion's immaculate conception story. I felt the good vibes, the sense of goodwill and peace to everyone jostling around to the music, but still needed to learn more about what gives the day its weight and relevance to people who may not be devout Christians.

I then bumped into these two quite lively looking fellas, Jacob and Jordan, who were basically like a modern day version of Kevin and Perry Do Ibiza. They were getting into the rave vibe, shouting "OI OI" and doing that fist pump thing you do if you can't dance but dance music is playing anyway. I thought these two would definitely know about the true meaning of Christmas.

"It's about family. I don't get to see my family much, so when it comes to Christmas I like to go see them, and really enjoy spending that time together. They are really important to me," said Jacob, somewhat surprisingly.

"Yeah, but it's also about getting really fucked," said Jordan, somewhat less surprisingly.

And what could I, Santa Claus, get you lads for Christmas this year, I wondered? "Some ketamine and some hookers."

Bloody hell. They danced off, fist pumping as they went. It had almost come to the end of the Elrow party, for it wasn't a full-blown rave. It was a school night, with the event only going on till 9PM – that didn't stop some of the fancy dress actors shouting, "ECSTASY, MAGIC MUSHROOMS" as they handed out free sweets, though.

All told, I'd learnt a lot dressed as Santa and going around asking people about Christmas. From what I heard, people genuinely cared about using Christmas as a means of celebrating the bond of the people in their lives they love. I think it can be unbearably bleak in Britain, and in the world now things aren't looking much better, so having time to settle down with those that are close to you and taking a moment to be grateful for the love of your friends and family is becoming more and more important than ever. Also, getting really fucking smashed.

As I was leaving Carnaby Street I saw one last trio of people that I thought would really know about the true meaning of Christmas: Kiss, on stilts. Hey Kiss on stilts, what's the true meaning of Christmas?

"MEOW, I'M A CAT," said the drummer.

Couldn't have put it better myself. Feliz Navidad everyone!

@williamwasteman

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If you really sat down and tried, you could turn a lot of pages in the span of 30 days. While we provide you with about 120 of those pages every month, it turns out VICE isn't the only magazine in the world. This series, Ink Spots, is a helpful guide to which of those zines, pamphlets, and publications you should be reading when you're not reading ours.

Considering Ink Spots has its two-year birthday this month, it feels strange that we haven't talked about Buffalo Zine yet. Intelligent without conceit, funny without focusing on funny people, and with an ever-changing aesthetic identity, it really is a magazine at the vanguard of print culture.

Buffalo was founded in 2011 by creative director Adrián González-Cohen and art director and graphic designer David Uzquiza, two exceptionally talented Spanish creatives who met one another back in 1999 while they were students. The long-term friendship, they say, makes the process of making Buffalo a semi-harmonious one. And we can see how it would get stressful—for each issue, the pair totally overhaul the magazine's design, starting from scratch. Issue one took three and a half years to put together, issues two and three took two years each.

Issue four, the most recent, came quicker, since Adrián and David both moved to London in early 2016 to focus on the magazine. And the result is a delight, featuring seven different covers (each a piss-take/throwback that sends up fashion mags of yesteryear), a focus on the concept of desire, as well as an interview in which the iconic artist Jeff Koons goes shopping in Berlin with the luxurious Gloria, Princess of Thurn and Taxis. Its masthead reads like a who's who of European photographers and stylists, and the content is thought-provoking and humorous, wavering from sardonic style guides to conversations between modern philosophers. In order to give Buffalo Zine the treatment it deserves, we emailed David and Adrián a few questions about their amazing print "baby."

Kiera Rose Gormley and her son on the Henry Hoover vacuum. Photo by Oliver Hadlee Pearch, courtesy of Buffalo Zine.

VICE: Describe Buffalo in a sentence.
Adrián González-Cohen: Like the radio station we've been listening to lately at the office: Jazzy Funky Kool.

David Uzquiza: Like a stampede of horny buffalos.

Has that changed at all since it's inception?
David: For every new issue, everything changes—from the logo, to the format, layout, themes... We think aesthetics are in constant evolution, so Buffalo needs to be too. It's not about reflecting current aesthetic trends, but doing what we feel at the moment. So far, we've come up with the idea of making an issue about a concept, and the aesthetic has followed. And also the other way around, coming up with the idea of making an issue focused on a determined aesthetic, and then the themes and ideas for the content follow. It's liberating not to be constrained to a specific structure, look, or design.

When you first started the publication, what were some of your biggest challenges?
Adrián: Pretty much the same as now: advertising. TBH, we didn't think about advertising at the beginning, as we did the first issue just as a hobby, for the joy of doing it together. We wanted a newspaper format, and it was very cheap to print, but the minimum run was 3000 copies. We kept them all in our friend's garage and it was a spooky amount. So then we decided to distribute it. Basically, our first baby wasn't an expected one.

David: Also living in two different countries and dealing with shitty Skype connections .

Gloria, Princess of Turn and Taxi. Photo by Victoria, Hely-Hutchinson, courtesy of Buffalo Zine.

How did you build the right team?
Adrián: Basically, we haven't. It's been pretty much David and me. Some friends joined us for the first issue, and in this last one we had the tremendous help of Liam Hess, who has joined us as Deputy Editor. And also our friend Andrea Lazarov who helps us with special projects, merch, digital... modern things.

David: We need to expand the team: interns, dealers, all that stuff... but we are too busy to get help.

Do you ever argue with one another creatively?
Adrián: OMG, every freaking day. When there is violence involved, nobody wins.

You've just dropped issue four—talk me through the many covers.
Adrián: Philippe Jarrigeon shot two of the seven covers with the amazing model Lea Rostain. In one of them, Lea is wearing this Perspex bodysuit by Alyx that we love and also pretend is a sauna suit to lose weight! Charlotte Wales shot that Americana cover with upcoming beauty Skylar Tartz. We love Charlotte because she has a unique tension between extremely perfect and "something went wrong."

David: Oliver Hadlee Pearch shot model Kiera Rose Gormley and her son on top of a Henry Hoover. The Henry Hoover is one of the most eccentric objects British people have ever popularized. We are always perplexed by Henry , and he definitely deserved a cover. Then, we have three limited edition covers by Reto Schmid, featuring icons Isabelle Huppert, Juliette Binoche, and Emmanuelle Seigner playing society renegades. We couldn't think of better cover girls for this issue.

Artwork by Kalen Hollomon, courtesy of Buffalo Zine.

The first thing I noticed in the issue was that, alongside real ads, you've got spreads of Kalen Hollomon's work—collages masquerading as Céline and Chanel ads. Why did you want to feature him?
David: Kalen's remixes of advertising campaigns have been making us laugh for some time. In addition to his good taste, we appreciate the sense of humor—something we value big time. Sometimes a bit hardcore and incorrect, like when he plays with delicate issues like mixing poverty and high fashion. Others are simply aesthetically pleasant and beautiful.

Why did it feel like the right time to do an issue on desire?
David: Like Yann Dall'Aglio says, humans are obsessed with being liked, being valued, being accepted, and being loved: "Am I desirable? How desirable? How many people are going to love me? And how do we respond to this anxiety? By hysterically collecting symbols of desirability: Luxury."

I cant believe you got a story where Gloria, Princess of Thorn and Taxis goes shopping with Jeff Koons...
Adrián: Our deputy editor, Liam Hess, wrote Gloria using an email address he found online. Gloria herself replied and she started proposing and organizing everything. She came up with the idea of two interviews, one with [former American Vogue Editor-at-Large] André Leon Talley and another one with Jeff Koons in this store in Berlin. She organized a photoshoot at her castle. She's a smart, grounded, hardworking princess and made a great guest editor. Oh, and she has real sense of humor as well.

Emmanuelle Seigner, who also appears on the cover. Photo by Reto Schmid, courtesy of Buffalo Zine.

What are some of the other highlights of issue four?
David: I would have never thought that we had the slightest chance of Emmanuelle Seigner saying yes to the story in the issue. She didn't only say yes, but actually was up for being shot drinking cans of beer sitting on a park bench in daylight. Or that Isabelle Huppert would be up for it. I mean, she's supposed to be really intense and hard to get, but actually she was really light and easy!

Adrián: She never wants to do anything for any magazine, apparently she keeps saying no to Vogue.

How important is humor to Buffalo?
Adrián: For me, right now, humor is the most important thing in general in life.

David: I heard that serious mags are over...

Shoe by Miu Miu, photo by Adrián González-Cohen.

A last thought on desire: Yann Dall'Aglio's excellent essay at the beginning of the issue explains how "we only accumulate objects in order to communicate with other minds." The idea being that all purchases are signifiers, with which we're trying to put out desirable signals. After making this issue, do you really believe that?
David: That essay actually comes from a lecture on TED Talks. When we first saw it, we were really moved and thought there was something really special in there. I had never seen anyone talking about materialism in a positive light before, actually the very opposite. It made me feel sympathy and tenderness for myself and everyone else. I think we really have no clue on how to be desirable, so we turn to acquiring things that will make us look more special to others. We thought that was something worth talking about.

Adrian: I think every single body gesture we do is to ultimately communicate with others and be loved. The way you hold a . I think humans are very cute, like little squirrels. Also very stupid.

Issue four of 'Buffalo Zine' is out now. Visit the magazine's website for more from the amazing publication.

Follow Amelia on Twitter.

Photo via CP

Did you guys know that it's illegal in Canada to have anal sex if you're under 18?

Take a look at the criminal code, it's right there, in Section 159.

"Every person who engages in an act of anal intercourse is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years or is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction," it reads.

If you're married and if both consenting partners are over 18 it is legal but if not, off to the slammer with you, bud. It's also illegal if "it is engaged in in a public place or if more than two persons take part or are present." So no anal threeways are allowed by the government of Canada.

For those of you keeping count, 18 is two years older than 16—the typical age of consent in Canada

But, fear not, because, according to the Huffington Post, at the start of next week the Liberal government are expected to bring forward legislation on Tuesday that would repeal Section 159.

Previously, the 159 has been found to be unconstitutional in front of three courts. In a 1995 ruling Justice Rosalie Abella, for the Court of Appeal for Ontario, explained it was unconstitutional.

"Gays and lesbians form a historically disadvantaged group, and s. 159 violates s. 15(1) of the Charter because it arbitrarily disadvantages individuals in that historically disadvantaged group—gay men—by denying to them until they are 18 a choice available at the age of 14 to those who are not gay, namely, their choice of sexual expression with a consenting partner to whom they are not married. Anal intercourse is a basic form of sexual expression for gay men."

But even though it had been deemed unconstitutional it remained on the books and police have the power to continue to enforce it. For years activists and politicians have worked to repeal the section but to no avail.

The sections repealing was the first thing listed in the "Current Issues" section of the Equality for Gays And Lesbians Everywhere Canada (Egale) report that came out this June.

They recommend the Government of Canada "repeals the existing provision governing the age of consent to anal intercourse to bring it in line with provision governing heterosexual conduct under the Criminal Code."

Of course, some people won't be too happy about it. Renowned purveyors of bad and outdated ideas, REAL Women of Canada, said previously that they were opposed to the repealing of 159 writing, in a response to the Egale report, that "it would mean that anal sex would be available anywhere, anytime with anyone without any restrictions as to age. This is alarming!"

Dr. Kristopher Wells, the faculty director of the Institute for Sexual Minority Studies at the University of Alberta, is traveling to Ottawa for the start of next week. Wells told VICE he applauds "the Trudeau government for continuing to make Canada a human rights leader around the world."

"All of our laws must be modernized so they no longer discriminate against LGBTQ people."

Yeah, seems about right.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter

Rizwan migrated to Delhi from Nazibabad. He is a practicing Muslim and lives with his family. When he was eight, he was suspended from his religious school because he was considered too feminine and therefore a bad influence on the other students. Now he works with a community center for HIV awareness.

All photos by Sunil Gupta and Charan Singh. This post originally appeared on VICE US

Photographers Sunil Gupta and Charan Singh met at an HIV conference in Delhi in 2009. Both had been a part of India's queer scene for years. Gupta had been photographing LGBT Indians since the 1980s, and had recently moved back to Delhi from London. Singh had worked to build a network of public health educators for working-class queer men in Delhi. Immediately, the two began talking about ways to interact with and capture what it is like to be queer in India.

In many ways, the country has transformed rapidly. Gay men and women are increasingly coming out and not marrying, according to the two photographers. But queer culture is still secretive and being LGBT in India can be dangerous.

So when Gupta and Singh were asked by the New Press to put together a book showing the ways India's LGBT scene had evolved over the years, they knew they'd be in for a big challenge. Not only is it hard to gain the trust of Indians'LGBT community and navigate secretive queer spaces, it's also hard to translate those spaces into something readable to a global audience without glossing over the thins that make India special. But in Delhi: Communities of Belonging, the duo have managed to paint an intimate portrait of Delhi's queer scene that still feels universal. Through photos and text, the book follows several queer Indians as they navigate their daily lives, such as closeted men with wives and children who go cruising in secret, and openly gay couples who fear that one day they will be persecuted for their relationship.

VICE spoke with the two authors about how they approached the process of documenting LGBTQ Indians, and how the queer community has changed over the years with increasing globalization.

Zahid and Ranjan are among the few openly gay couples in Delhi. "Even though people are more out today, there is that thing in the back of the mind saying this is still illegal in this country. If they decide to crack down on it, we are too exposed already, so we would be in a lot of trouble," says Ranjan.

VICE: How long have you been photographing the LGBT community in India?

A protest encampment near the proposed site of the Dakota Access Pipeline in September. (ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

This article originally appeared on VICE US

Over the past few months, the Standing Rock Sioux tribe's protests of the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) have gained momentum and attracted national attention, even celebrity support. Thousands have joined the protests, in an attempt to block the nearly 1,200-mile, $3.7-million dollar pipeline that is intended to run from North Dakota to Illinois.

Then, on September 23, shortly after the federal government temporarily blocked construction of a section of the controversial pipeline, a letter went out to over 500 tribal leaders in the country. It was an invitation to work more closely with the government clearly motivated by a desire to avoid other high-profile crises that turn into PR disasters.

"Recent events have highlighted the need for a broader review," the letter read, before going on to invite tribal leaders to a series of meetings on how the government can "better account for, and integrate tribal views, on future infrastructure decisions throughout the country."

Much of the land in question was taken back from the Sioux by the US government in the 1950s without the tribe's consent, according to the tribe's federal lawsuit against the US Army Corps of Engineers.

"Under the current system, a shopping mall requires more environmental review and public process than a new crude oil pipeline," said Jan Hasselman, an attorney with Earthjustice, an nonprofit legal group representing the Standing Rock Sioux tribe in the lawsuit.

"One of the reasons we have a crisis out at Standing Rock is that the federal government rubber stamps these massive projects—virtually no environmental analysis, tribal consultation, or public process. That has to change. And the government recognized that it has to change," Hasselman told VICE.

The government said it's hoping that these meetings will be a first step toward better communication. The Department of the Interior declined VICE's request for comment, but wrote in a press release that the meetings will focus on ways to "better ensure meaningful tribal input," and "will also explore with tribes whether new legislation should be proposed to Congress to alter the current statutory framework."

While protests continued along the site of the DAPL, tribal leaders from all over the country traveled to Phoenix in October for the first of several joint meetings. It was not entirely amicable.

"It's amazing that we've had this relationship with the Federal Government for— some of us, 500 years—and they're still trying to figure out how to deal with us," Brian Cladoosby, president of the National Congress of American Indians said at the meeting.

Representatives from the Department of Justice (DOJ), the Department of the Interior, and the Army all were present, set up on a stage in a ballroom in the Phoenix Convention Center.

"If you took an aerial photograph of your part of the United States," Sam Hirsch of the Environmental Resources Division of the DOJ said to the group, according to transcripts, "there would be all sorts of infrastructure that wasn't there seven generations ago. Some of that's great, some of that's not so great. What we know is definitely not great is that very little of it was put there after any kind of meaningful input from the tribes."

Jason Schlender a member of the tribal council of the Lac Courte Oreilles Band of Ojibwe in Wisconsin, attended the conference in Phoenix and said he's optimistic. On the whole, he said, the US government has gotten better with its consultation process.

"There's still obviously room for improvement," he told VICE.

But Schlender also noted a larger disconnect: Tribes have an inherently competing agenda with corporations and the federal government.

"Sometimes major corporations tend to have no respect for something they may think is not a real thing," he said, referring to the guiding principles of many indigenous people. "Human beings are placed in a certain part of the world to take care of the Earth. In exchange, they are fed by the Earth, taken care of by the Earth," he said. "Major oil companies, timber companies, steel companies—those big businesses may not have that same worldview. Maybe they don't hunt for food, fish to eat. They live a different lifestyle."

And maybe, he said, the federal government is so fed by those businesses "that they have to do whatever they have to do in order to keep this way of life going."

"Cultural exchange is necessary," Schlender added. "There needs to be some kind of infusion of spirituality because a lot of tribal people are ceremonial people." He noted that in many of the early days of Indian treaties with the US, the negotiations often took place in a teepee, or whatever dwelling the tribe used. "They all sat down together," he said. "A lot of ceremonial things took place—singing, praying, having a feast."

Folding those elements into current negotiations, Schlender thinks, would be a significant sign of respect from the government.

"Tribes need to assert themselves ceremoniously and the federal agencies should allow that to happen because they would do that anywhere else," Schlender said. "If they were meeting with Russia, people from China to Japan to Mexico, the United States would never say, 'This is the way we're going to meet today.' It's rude."

There are three more meetings set for the year so far.

Taylor Keen, professor at Creighton University and a member of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, who is not directly involved in the meetings, is doubtful that these new government conversations with the tribes will yield any real change.

"It sounds like a false promise to me," Keen said.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump's victory in the presidential election likely signals trouble for the DAPL protests.

Energy Transfer Partners LP, the Texas company building the pipeline, was already moving forward as recently as Tuesday, despite the Army Corps of Engineers' request to slow down construction. Last week Obama said he was asking the Army Corp to look into alternate routes for the pipeline, to steer clear of land sacred to the tribe. On Friday, Energy Transfer Partners CEO Kelcy Warren was confident, telling CBS, "We will get this easement and we will complete our project."

President-elect Trump has not yet publically discussed the pipeline, but on his campaign website he criticizes Obama's rejection of the Keystone XL Pipeline and also encouraged lifting of regulations in North Dakota specifically. Maybe more importantly, Trump owns a stake in the company, and Warren donated to the Trump campaign.

What would it take to prevent another DAPL situation?

"Sadly, I don't know if there is anything," Keen answered. "The company that owns the pipeline is finally saying maybe they're going to move it because they're getting such bad press. But there's nothing structural that's going to stop it from happening again unless the government actually makes some serious policy changes."

That's obviously unlikely now.

"What do we need to do to coexist with each other?" Schlender asked. For him, the answer involves folding rituals into the process. "However the ceremony unfolds—sharing tobacco or food with one another—If we can show a little respect for each other, let's take the time to do that and have a meaningful conversation."

"We're not extinct," Schlender said. "We're contributing to society."

Cole Kazdin is a writer in Los Angeles.