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Dodging Fireworks and Flares at London's Million Mask March

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It's that time of year again, when people finish up their hand-painted placards, pull their V for Vendetta-inspired masks on and head out for the Million Mask March. Each year on the 5th of November, a load of people march against the establishment, meshing Anonymous' ethos with Guy Fawkes' attempted two fingers up to the Houses of Parliament.

Last year's march in London felt distinctly awkward to one of our writers, and this time around the protest pulled in a good number of people but seemed a bit directionless. On Thursday, the Met police announced they were going to place specific conditions on the march, and planned to disperse everyone by 9PM.

Things started off at 6PM in Trafalgar Square as people assembled, under a broad banner of speaking out against the government. There was a heavy police presence, with the Met restricting the march to a fairly tight rectangle between Parliament Square and Trafalgar Square in central London. After a while, with some people cracking open their tinnies and others participating in a few half-hearted chants, speakers were set up in Parliament Square.

Photographer Sam Sargeant was there, jumping over flying fire crackers and watching people dance by the speakers for a bit before they moved back to Nelson's Column. "No one know's where the fuck we're going innit?" Sam overheard someone say, as the protest fragmented here and there before police moved in a bit closer and starting making some of the 53 reported arrests from the evening.

"The government and the 1 percent have played their hand, now it is time to play ours," read the event's Facebook page beforehand. By about 10PM, when a massive group of police swooped into disperse the crowd for good, it wasn't clear whether that had been a complete success. But there's always next year.


Comics: 'Hyper Hair,' Today's Comic by Michel Esselbrugge

Vintage Photos of New York and Boston That Look Like 'Stills from a Horror Film'

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Grand Central Terminal, NYC, 1990

The following excerpt is from photographer Richard Sandler's new book 'The Eyes of the City' (out November 15 through powerHouse), which features nearly 200 street photos taken in New York and Boston between 1977 and 2001. In the text below, which appears in the book as an afterword, author Jonathan Ames explains what makes Sandler so special to him.

I am very lucky to have Richard Sandler as my friend. He is kind to me. He's funny and odd and tormented. He's pissed off and peaceful; nutty and wise; compassionate and cranky; and I'm just really lucky that I get to love him and be loved in return. And then there's this incredible bonus with knowing Richard. His art. His photographs and his movies. With them, he changed my eyes. He changed my brain. He changed the way I take in the world around me. He revealed things I hadn't seen before, or maybe I had, but he gave voice to them and now I was sure that they were there.

But what did he show me? What do we see in these pictures? I think a good deal of what we see is rather scary. They're of a time, roughly the quarter century before the events of September 11, 2001, and so we get to visit the past quite viscerally—and what a joy to see people unguarded, not staring at our new slave master the cell phone—but these pictures also very much root me in the present, like a history class that teaches us what is happening now. So I think we see in these reflections from the past our half-asleep march to death in the now. We see people as they were, like the frozen corpses in Pompeii. We see them and look in the mirror. This is a document of how we lived before we died. These photographs are like stills from a horror film, and yet they're the pictures of our lives. Specifically our lives in the city. What a play we put on in front of each other on the streets, living so close the way we do, like mice in a burrow. A play of greed, decay, venality, beauty, longing, hidden meanings, coincidences, love, terror, mundanity, suffering, boredom, loneliness.

Tremont St., Boston, 1978

These pictures are in part screaming at us to wake up and open our eyes to what's happening, to see how it's all rushing by, to see god's presence everywhere, in every shadow, if there is a God, and in part, Richard is just putting it all down, making a record, exploring his own loneliness and mortality, compelled to document as a way to say he's alive, while pointing with equal wonder at beauty and horror, showing us and himself how life and death, in and out of the shadows of the scurrying city, seem to walk hand in hand.

And then of course there's just his joy in making art. Finding in the split-second moment that street-photography demands, the perfect composition, trying to capture the tail end of the present like a wisp of smoke before it disappears and becomes the past. He must feel like—I saw it and I caught it! So I imagine there is a great delight and reward in what he does, but it must also be a terrible obsession and burden this desire to record, to live at all times like a camera. To give us these images, like a gift, he has spent thousands and thousands of hours, decades really, always waiting, vigilant, ready to bear witness like an astronomer who has lost his mind and never relaxes in his watching of the night sky, desperately wanting to understand our ever-changing universe and to then pass on what he saw.

I couldn't do it, but Richard did teach me to open my eyes more than I ever had, to share his obsession, even a little, and when you do you see how the teeming life around us avails itself if we look for it, revealing its beauty and terrifying ugliness; its lunatic phenomena and secret messages; its dreams and nightmares. But, despite what I said earlier, these pictures are much more than a horror film. They're also a love-letter. A love-letter to our world and everyone around us. Richard's saying, I saw you, you were here, you were incredible, I love you, I loved you.

'The Eyes of the City' is out November 15 through powerHouse books. Pre-order it here.

And on Sunday, November 6, there will be a book launch, print exhibit, and talk to celebrate Sandler's release at the Half King in NYC. For more information, visit here.

The VICE Guide to the 2016 Election: The Writers Who Make Presidents Funny

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Then president George W. Bush and impersonator Steve Bridges on stage at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner. (Photo by Roger L. Wollenberg-POOL/Getty Images)

Bruce Cherry swears George W. Bush is funny.

"Bush is perfect for comedy," he told me. "He knew how to pause and deliver a line. He's actually good. He's just a natural."

Cherry would know. He's a committed liberal, but he's written comedy material for Bush at such prestigious events as the White House Correspondents' Dinner and the Alfalfa Club, an annual gathering of the most powerful political movers in DC.

No one votes for a candidate just because they're funny—Al Franken didn't win his Senate seat based on his Stuart Smalley material. But telling jokes can demonstrate charm, charisma, and likability. It can make a politician seem almost human. And that's where writers like Cherry come in.

"Everyone wants to be able to tell jokes. And if someone can't be funny we think less of them," Cherry said. "If someone can be funny, it's impressive; you think that person can think on their feet. It's a skill."

Cherry got his gig with George W. Bush after writing material for a Bush impersonator named Steve Bridges. "Barbara Bush saw him at an event and loved him so much that she told George," Cherry recalled. Bush and his doppelganger appeared together on stage at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner, and Cherry was one of the team of writers in charge of the duo's material.

"Conservative audiences loved dumb George Bush jokes," Cherry said. "George Bush loved them!" The writer's favorite was actually delivered by Jeb Bush at an Alfalfa Club dinner: "George told me he's thinking of running again. I said, 'George, the Constitution prohibits you from running for a third term.' He said, 'Wow, they put my name in the Constitution!'"

That sort of self-deprecation can be freeing. "What I liked most about writing for politicians was pushing out the parameters of what they were able to say in public," Mark Katz, who injected humor into Bill Clinton's speeches during his eight years in the White House, told me. "Being part of the best strain of our political dialogue where politicians are telling more truths—saying the things using humor that they would otherwise strenuously deny the other 364 days of the year."

Katz went on to found the Soundbite Institute, a think tank predicated on the idea that humor is a necessary weapon in any politician's arsenal. "Jokes is the actually the wrong idea," he tells me. "It's really about what's the idea for the speech. What does the speech need to be? And then comes the jokes. Jokes are an execution—but the speech needs to be ideas."

A case study Katz loves to cite is a Clinton line from the 1993 White House Correspondents' Dinner. The president had had a rough 100 first days in office, and he didn't avoid the elephant in the room. The Katz-penned line was: "I don't think I'm doing that bad. After this point in his administration, William Henry Harrison had already been dead for 68 days."

"After the laughter receded, this lesson remained: Humor is a persuasive and underutilized tool in the realm of strategic communications" is how the Soundbite website describes the lesson from that moment.

"Humor flatters where spin insults," Katz told me. "It's a signifier of intellectual honesty. If this person is being honest with himself—then I trust this person to be honest with me.

"There are people I know who would unfriend me if they knew I've written for Bush," Cherry said. But he wasn't going to say no. "He is the President of the United States. And I am an American—so fuck it. I'm definitely not going to turn that down," Cherry added. "It's not like I'm moving his Iraq plan forward—I'm just letting him tell a few jokes." (He said he did refuse writing gigs from Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney, even though the money being offered was "insane.")

"In the White House there are maybe ten people who can write a joke—and there are 250 people who can kill a joke."
–Mark Katz

Sometimes, a politician doesn't need a team of writers to defuse a situation with a joke—recall Barack Obama saying, in a 2006 interview, that he "inhaled" marijuana when he was young because "that was the point."

But even when a statesman does have funnymen on hand, any joke has to be in the speaker's voice. Katz will invariably ask a politician to take a joke out of their speech if they're not completely sold on it. "I know if they don't believe in it—it's not going to work," he said. "Until you believe in a joke, you really should not say a joke out loud."

Katz had dozens of meetings with Clinton to go over every draft he prepared and the president would then select the material he thought would work best. When you're the leader of the free world, there are lots of things you can't say, even in jest. "In the White House there are maybe ten people who can write a joke—and there are 250 people who can kill a joke," Katz said. "So you're trying to get a speech through that gauntlet—that's the real challenge."

Material is one thing, delivering laughs another. Katz coached former United Nations Ambassador Madeline Albright by bringing in a professional standup comedian and having her listen to his comedic cadences as he read the material.

"Here's someone who speaks six or seven languages—she can pick up a cadence," Katz said.

Both Cherry and Katz said Obama has great natural comedic timing. "He pauses anyway, and that works really well if you're doing dry humor, which is the stuff they give him," explained Cherry. "It's very thoughtful and works out perfectly to the way he talks."

Katz agrees, but thinks Obama has found his true comedic voice only recently. "For a while, my critique of Obama was he looked like a guy who was really enjoying himself immensely as he read off a bunch of really funny jokes his staff had written for him," Katz said. "But it did not sound like his voice to me."

Obama's two potential successors had to put their own comedic chops on display at last month's Al Smith Dinner in New York. Katz said that Hillary Clinton should have been a little more self-deprecating. "I would have crossed out all but two or three of the jokes at Trump's expense," he told me. "To me, making fun of him at this point, is like poking a bear in a cage; it's practically beneath us. To try and provoke him, to me, is borderline cruel at this point."

"She's going to learn that conceding more brings bigger dividends," Katz added.

Trump, meanwhile, simply died onstage, and even got booed when his jibes turned into humorless insults.

"That's the worst I've seen a politician bomb," said Cherry. "He's not funny, he's just mean. That's what sells him. People who want mean like him."

"Trump has thrown out the entire political playbook as it existed before 2016," said Katz. "And humor is in that playbook. Nothing that he does corresponds to the standard operational procedure of using humor to win and influence people."

Trump's interpretation of humor, as Katz sees it, fails in all aspects of the effective political paradigm. "There's nothing kind. There's nothing self-defacing. There's nothing self-directed. There's nothing honest." His jokes "exist to hurt. So humor is probably the wrong word for it."

Follow Harmon Leon on Twitter.

What Sun Ra's Poetry Can Teach Us About Afrofuturism

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Sun Ra and his Sun Ra Archestra perform with a steel sculpture on September 23, 1978, at Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor, Michigan. (Photo by Leni Sinclair/Getty Images)

The Tower of Babel is a biblical myth explaining the formation of Earth's many languages, and it's been explored by artists in many different mediums. One of the most stirring examples is a mid-50s poem by legendary jazz musician Sun Ra. It begins innocuously enough, with an easy-metered, "Twas at Babylon they say/Ah, dread and drastic day," but blooms into a mission statement that would inform his life's work: "This is not to say/There'll never be a better day/Watch what you write, watch what you say!"

The quest for that "better day" came to define Sun Ra's interstellar-themed music and philosophy of Afrofuturism, and that urge to write and speak more carefully would become a rule by which he lived his extraordinary life. Most of his poetry has gone largely unnoticed, while his music—which has influenced genres as diverse as dub, Detroit house, and post-rock—has seemingly become more celebrated with each passing year. But inseparable from his wide-ranging free jazz experiments was a distinct philosophy and set of sociological observations that were equally revolutionary and forward-thinking.

On the surface, the flamboyant and often-costumed Sun Ra may seem like a free jazz eccentric, but delving into his lifelong writings—which have appeared on record jackets, hand-folded pamphlets, or personal diaries—on subjects that ranged from anthropology to science fiction reveals a profoundly studious man with a focused and well-defined worldview. The cosmic language he favored (take song titles like "Tapestry from an Asteroid," or the record Soul Vibrations of Man) can seem like a bunch of astrological, futuristic jargon and symbology selected at random to appear as extraterrestrial and "out there" as possible, but in every case there's well-placed significance to the celestial forms chosen that bleeds throughout all the jazz maestro's creativity.

Paul Youngquist's new book 'A Pure Solar World: Sun Ra and the Birth of Afrofuturism' (out now on University of Texas Press) reveals that this multidisciplinary approach was a constant in all of Sun Ra's exploits, whether that meant using a poem to explain the intricacies a specific song or using musical reinterpretations of standard spiritual hymns to critique the bible. Beginning with his youth in Alabama and stretching all the way to his final days in Philadelphia, the book is organized chronologically, but the chapters each contain a different pursuit or interest of the artist. Through analysis and creative reimagining of Sun Ra's personal writings, as well as in-depth looks at various texts the musician referenced in his work, Youngquist illustrates how Sun Ra formed his personal philosophy of Afrofuturism, which entails an optimistic, Afrocentric envisioning of a technologically superior future.

In covering Sun Ra's interest in religion, racial politics, technology, science fiction, history, philosophy, and many other fields, Youngquist also substantially de-mystifies one of the most enigmatic figures in 20th century music and shows how his artistic output was a sensible response to his surroundings, as well as an inspiration to artists following in his Afrofuture footsteps, such as Janelle Monae, Shabazz Palaces, and many others. I talked with Youngquist to learn more about how the Man from Saturn's far-flung and scattered exploits actually connect seamlessly.

VICE: Based on his music, I expected Sun Ra to be more eccentric, but the book made it clear he was able to justify quite literally all of his artistic output with multiple pieces of his personal philosophy. Do you think that's a common misperception?
Paul Youngquist: I think in some ways. Sun Ra was kind of a willfully strange guy who really loved saying outrageous things, and people have dismissed him on the basis of those things he's said. But I think he was responding very directly to the world he lived in and the conditions of his life. If you look at those contexts, you can see how his statements . I partly wanted to do that because Sun Ra does the same thing. He would say, "I am a myth," sort of asserting the fictionality of his own life and identity. He was mobilizing fiction on behalf of his message, and at moments I thought that to get to the creative and spiritual heart of Sun Ra, I had to do the same thing.

I took the chance fictionalizing some moments, and I've got to be honest, I was and still am nervous about some of those because they're the ones people can object to. But I think that fiction gets to something in Sun Ra that you can't get to in any other way, and that's his deep commitment to something he calls "the nothing." The fact that music and poetry are nothing, but in that nothing, we find the possibility of infinity. Fiction is also a version of that nothing, even if it's based on the realities of his life.

'A Pure Solar World: Sun Ra and the Birth of Afrofuturism' is out now on University of Texas Press. Order a copy here.

Follow Patrick Lyons on Twitter.

Graffiti Artist CASH4 Does Not Want You to Vote

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CASH4 in his bedroom/studio, portrait by Ray Mock

All photos by the author

A few weeks before Election Day, Brooklyn-based graffiti writer and artist Russell Murphy—a.k.a. CASH4—was neck-deep in preparations for his upcoming show with fellow artist SMELLS. Bearing the title of "Mock the Vote," the signage-based exhibit is a crescendo of satire, cynicism, and all-out offensiveness that will open the evening of election day at 99 Bowery in Manhattan. "I want people to be like, Holy fuck, this is what these kids are thinking?" he told me. "It's open-ended, but provocative enough to make people question what the fuck is going on."

I met CASH4 around noon on a weekday; he was freshly-shaven, in good spirits, and surrounded by stacks of finished and half-finished pieces in his studio-slash-apartment. "You want a beer?" he asked me, and cracked a tallboy open for himself, chased by by a flask of cheap liquor and some weed over the course of our conversation.

CASH4 paint roller on South 5th street in Brooklyn

As a graffiti writer, CASH4 has a history of butting heads with conventions of style—as well as with other writers. His public persona also doesn't help in a scene where staying low-key is a virtue; he first earned notoriety when a photo of him kissing his then-girlfriend while being arrested was published on Gothamist in 2012.

Even before then, he'd built a reputation for thinking outside the norm and getting people's attention. CASH4 became known for painting giant roller letters bastardized by pixelation and cartoonish faces on countless rooftop spots. His throw-ups were amoebus blow-up letters, rather than conventional bubbles; his stickers and tags playfully mixed his name with slogans ("CLASS WAR," "CRASH FLOOR"); his fake pawn shop sign "campaign" with SMELLS ("CASH4SMELLS") straddled the lines between graffiti and street art while recalling the legendary posters that artists like REVS and COST used to slap everywhere. Yet CASH4 was doing exactly what's expected of many graffiti writers: Develop his own instantly-recognizable style—and get up a lot.

A self-declared asshole with a punk attitude, he's rubbed a few traditionalists the wrong way. But if others might've thrown in the towel after the arrests and fights CASH4 has faced, he's remained defiant and unrepentant. "I've been jumped," he told me. "Graffiti writers are pretty much pussy...I'm not trying to waste my time on another person that writes graffiti. This is not the 90s."

That defiant attitude of not giving a fuck has wound its way through CASH4's artwork as well: Effectively unmasked and sidelined by legal problems, he's shifted his focus to fine art—most recently, in the form of irreverent sign-painting, which comprises the majority of his exhibition with SMELLS. Purists value sign-painting as a skillful craft that displays precision and a mastery of letters; while CASH4 respects that tradition, the content defines how he uses his medium.

"I could sit here for fucking hours making the letters look like I printed them on the computer," he states, but CASH4 has the impulsive need to express himself quickly before moving on to the next idea. That kind of unfettered immediacy poses some risks, but after years of honing his skills on the street, the hits outnumber the misses. You may not agree with him, but CASH4 will tell you exactly how he feels in a style he has mastered through sheer energy and repetition.

Some sign-painting work from the gallery exhibition "Mock the Vote"

Unlike artists like Banksy or Shepard Fairey, who've used their platforms and success in the art world to push specific messages, CASH4's art isn't neatly aligned with any political movement. "I'm not an idealist—I'm an apathist," he insisted, albeit one brimming with opinions and full of contradictions who would like nothing more than to make you squirm.

His contribution to "Mock the Vote" consists of an a large number of hand-painted signs that adorn his studio as we talked: "Kill the Poor/ Protect the Oligarchy/ Vote," "Fight Oppression/ Rape Men," and "Pro-Incest," to name a few. Much like his graffiti, which rises above the visual white noise of the city, the volume and obnoxiousness of his catch phrases will stick in your brain, like them or not.

To CASH4, politicians are inherently corrupt, the media is "owned" and "an orchestra of misinformation"—and as for the election: "For people that come into the show thinking that either of these candidates or the majority of our government is legitimate, I just feel sorry for them." He quoted Thomas Jefferson on watering the tree of liberty with the blood of patriots and tyrants. "I don't know that we need to be killing more people, but I'm not necessarily against it either," he mused. "If Washington DC disappeared, would this country be in a better place? Yes. Hell yes."

In a loose scene that's largely apolitical and driven by achieving fame, CASH4 has an almost messianic urge to inject his work with meaning. He's enough of a classic vandal to believe that respect and legitimacy are earned on the street, but he's also among a subset of artists—including his associates in New York's 907 Crew—who put a premium on anarchic playfulness. For decades, 907 crew members such as UFO, OZE108, and, more recently, SADUE and DROID have eschewed conventions of style while also participating in large-scale installation and film projects.

Among hardcore graffiti writers, that slipperiness makes CASH4 both an insider and someone who openly brings alien perspectives to the game: A struggling artist who claims to have been "raised by three women," and who once trained to become an architect.

CASH4's fill-in on the Williamsburg Bridge in Brooklyn

"There's this attitude of, I'm a one-man-army, fuck your shit, fuck property, fuck the transit, fuck anything!" he recounted, and that attitude once fueled CASH4's work as a vandal. But unlike other writers, he doesn't hide what makes him different. It informs his graffiti and his art, and that's why he is going to be remembered, regardless of how much of his work you may find on the street in the future (and for legal reasons he was obliged to insist that there will be none).

Unsuspecting viewers are sure to be engaged—or at least entertained—by his exhibition. Having a sense of humor definitely helps. If anyone is offended, to CASH4 that's just great. "I'm going to get mad shit at this show, but I'm going to be drunk enough and there's going to be enough people there and people are going to have a good enough time where it just doesn't matter." Come what may, at least for this election hangover, there will be a cure on Wednesday morning.

See more photos of CASH4's past graffiti work and upcoming art show below. "Mock the Vote" is open November 8 at 99 Bowery Street in New York.

Ray Mock is the founder of Carnage NYC and has been documenting graffiti in New York and around the world for ten years, publishing more than two dozen limited edition zines and books. Follow him on Instagram.



CASH4 and SMELLS paint roller work shot in 2010.

CASH4 and SMELLS shot in 2009

Men and Women Tell Us About the Clothes They Wear to Work

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Mondays, etc. Photo by Jackie Dives

I sat patiently while a cheery, middle-aged woman gave me a black eye. She had just watched a documentary on the girl gangs of LA, so after she applied a half-moon shiner with green powder, she started drawing over my eyebrows with black liquid liner. That was how the lady-gangsters were doing their makeup, she told me, as if I might be inclined to copy the look at home. The night before, I'd gotten a phone call about the job. "You're a teen prostitute," my agent said, "They'll provide the wardrobe."

Movie extra work was easy. At the time, I was not yet 20 and generally untalented. The pay was decent; the skill level was low. When I wasn't needed in the background of a shoot, I fed off the snack table and read a book. I was living scenery—a body to be decorated as needed. The challenge lay in how I was required to look.

With my newly comical eyebrows and battered eye, I reported to the wardrobe trailer. A standard porn version of a schoolgirl kilt hung on the rack. Though I wasn't keen on spending the day standing leggy in the wind, at least it felt reminiscent of the punk ensembles I'd once donned voluntarily. But my nametag was not on the kilt. It was on a crumbled pile of black nylon. After squirming into ridged spandex and fastening a dozen snaps, I walked into the sunlight in a sports bra and tearaway trackpants, looking especially scrawny and Irish-pale. I folded my arms over my exposed midriff, trying to appear as confident as I could while feeling like a snake of uncooked dough with boobs drawn on it.

Emotional labour is difficult to measure. On set, I had the luxury of a clean break between my performances onscreen and off. Though I had to look vastly different from my everyday self, everyone knew it was a costume... right? I folded myself up in the trackpants wanting to hide, but was approached by a member of the crew. We chatted. He was funny, and attractive, and I began to feel comfortable despite the sports bra. It felt flirtatious, and when the shoot wrapped for the day, I was disappointed the conversation would end. But as we were headed back to wardrobe, he leaned in with a look of concern, "So, I don't mean to get in your business, but can I ask who gave you that black eye?" He wasn't joking. Umm... I suddenly couldn't wait to go home, put on an especially frumpy sweater, and wash my eyebrows.

When does what we have to wear to work—a uniform, a dress code, a full-on costume, or even just the expectation of a certain demeanour—make us feel professional and prepared for our jobs, and when does it make us feel alienated and disconnected from our own identities? VICE reached out to men and women to talk about the baggage and privilege that comes along with what we wear to work.

Formal polyester
Rachel, 32

Rachel worked at a high-end hotel that provided a full uniform. The hotel had an employee cafeteria hidden away from the guests where workers might remove their jackets. But while they were out front, they were required to wear the suit:

"Imagine the bellhop uniforms of Disney's Tower of Terror, but worse. A full burgundy pantsuit: burgundy pants, burgundy jacket, and shoulder pads that you could fly away with. The pants were ill fitting. They buttoned up way past the bellybutton and were so uncomfortable that I used to wear a pair of jeans underneath the pants and tuck in the top of the uniform into my jeans—because it was more comfortable to wear two pairs of pants then the uniform alone!

"There was ease with having a uniform, as they would wash it and have it ready at work, but that was probably the only positive."

Photo by Jackie Dives

Kitchen whites
Merri, 37

Merri works as a pastry chef in fine dining. The uniform demonstrates to diners that the chefs work cleanly, while offering some protection from the dangers of hot spills and sharp knives. For Merri, the uniform also has transformative powers:

"Maybe doctors and scientists feel the same way—you put on your uniform and you're somehow transformed into the professional you. In a kitchen, where for food safety reasons we can't dress up with jewellery, elaborate makeup, or hairstyles, coming to work means adopting a certain anonymity of style. I don't feel as prepared, professional, or focused without my whites.

"As you progress up the (horrifyingly hierarchical) ladder in the culinary world, you might get your name and your position embroidered on your whites. This is a symbol of rank. You might get assigned dress whites with your name, the name of the establishment you cook for, and any accolades, competitions, or associations you have embroidered on them. Dress whites are never used for cooking. They are what you wear to meet VIPs, circulate through the dining room, attend fundraisers and culinary functions, and appear at media events. I can't say I've ever been comfortable with this aspect of our field's use of uniforms—to distinguish the more important members of the kitchen from the less—however, I do hang my dress whites carefully and avoid staining them at all costs.

"Wearing whites can sometimes be wearisome. They are sexless, unglamourous, and hot. But when I've been away from work for a while, I look forward to transforming into the purposeful, focused pastry chef I am in my uniform."

Government green
Arne,* 43

Arne works for the government in a rural community. The uniform endorses him in his role, and also functions, for him, as a type of disguise:

"I am not a rancher. I went to art school, and only started eating meat in earnest the same time I got my driver's license—at thirty years old. But at work, I have a uniform. It's a government green that says, 'I'm subservient but also adequately competent!' It allows me to carry a bunch of keys, drive around in a big truck, or even a tractor. The uniform helps me project non-threatening authority. In my civvies, I don't think I could appear serious enough to interact with ranchers... Particularly with them wearing their tight jeans, neck scarves, massive hats, and waxed moustaches."

Little black dress
Mandy, 30

Mandy worked at a popular chain of 'casual fine dining' restaurants known for their attractive servers. As tips were involved, there was motivation for workers to push the limits of the dress code:

"We didn't have a uniform, but rather a dress code, so we had to pay for our own clothes. The official code was surprisingly prim: knee length skirts or dresses, low heels, and no tank tops. What employees actually chose to wear was quite different. It's hard to blame anyone—the tips were a lot better in 4 inch heels, tiny skirts and low cut tanks. I got in trouble for not following dress code properly a few times: my dress was too loose; stockings were not allowed; my blazer had a zipper on it.

"The language we were forced to use played into the trope as much as the clothing did. We had to call groups of men "gentlemen," ask them about their evening plans, and laugh at their jokes.

"The positive aspect in having a strict dress code, or having my income directly tied to how I looked, was that I spent more time in the morning getting ready, and it made me feel more confident. I've taken that lesson with me."

Millennial hoodie
Hannah,* 26

Hannah worked at a tech company. She was not given a dress code, but felt pressure on her appearance nonetheless. Each day, she attempted the demeanour desired in a culture were valued workers were 'chill' and ' delightful':

"When I left my job at a successful startup tech company, I had prepped myself for the exit interview of a lifetime. "...And you felt offended when our founder said that the product was like 'premature ejaculation.' Am I getting that right?" The HR Specialist transcribing the interview recited my comments back to me. I went on to list some further bullet points that she could jot down under Reason For Leaving: Culture Fit. I said manager speculations over 'whose Facebook profile was cuntiest' hadn't nourished my enthusiasm for the company mantra of 'surprise and delight.'

"My coworkers couldn't imagine a willful departure. They reminded me that there were office dogs here; all the beer you could drink every Friday at 3 PM, and no dress code at all! How could I abandon this utopia of American Apparel casual wear for a corporate gig full of "serious people"? My next employer wouldn't let me spend my health and wellness budget on flyboarding—THAT they could guarantee.

"The truth was, I had spent the last year emotionally drained. I was broken by having to wonder every day: "does this hoodie/craft beer/lewd remark make me millennial enough?" I was 25 and opting to work with a more diverse group of people. And they dressed in business casual."

*Names have been changed.

Follow Erin Ashenhurst on Twitter.

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How a Convicted Abuser Got Re-elected and Defended a NWT Anti-Violence Program

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Twice-convicted abuser and NWT politician Michael Nadli. Photo via

Member of the Northwest Territories' legislative assembly Michael Nadli has been convicted twice for assaulting his wife. In 2015, an election year, he pleaded guilty to an assault that broke his spouse's wrist.

In most parts of Canada, this would spell the end of a political career, but the Northwest Territories is not like the rest of the country. In the legislative assembly this week, Nadli himself acknowledged that the rate of police-reported family violence in the territory is nine times the national average, surpassed only by Nunavut.

Nadli served only eight days of a 45-day jail sentence, and was released just in time to file his papers to seek re-election. He won back his Deh Cho seat last November, despite calls from women's advocates to step out of the race. If he had remained in jail for the full sentence, Nadli wouldn't have been eligible to run.

No matter which way you look at it, the fact that Nadli still has a job in politics says a lot about the region's attitudes and response to family abuse. Only six months separated his crime and election win. "I wish I was shocked, but I think that's very representative of the attitude that the Northwest Territories has towards domestic violence and inter-partner violence," youth and women's outreach worker Nancy MacNeil told VICE at the time.

But what was widely seen as a local shame a year ago is now being used as an argument for "culturally appropriate" counselling for abusers. In Yellowknife this week, Nadli introduced a motion to extend government funding for a pilot program he was forced to enrol in following his jail sentence. Called A New Day, the project aims to stop domestic violence at its roots by addressing abusers' own trauma. In the North, that often means digging into the painful legacy of residential schools.

A New Day is expected to wind down by December 31, unless the justice minister approves new funding.

Wednesday wasn't the first time Nadli opened up about his abuse history and healing process in public, but for the first time he had 11 members standing behind him. Nadli connected the New Day project to the territory's commitments to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission and to acting on missing and murdered Indigenous women. After a culture that excuses violence eased his return to power, Nadli is now being held up by his community as an unlikely hero for change.

"Mr. Speaker, I'm living proof that the New Day program can help us come to terms with our past and move beyond the use of violence as a way of coping with the things we all struggle with," he told the assembly. "Let's not eliminate one of the few programs that is available and working."

Among Nadli's supporters was former YWCA community director Julie Green, who seconded the motion, and said she was moved by Nadli's progress. She acknowledged that at the heart of the project is a fundamental shift in how to deal with family abuse.

"The Coalition against Family Violence and the Department of Justice spent more than two years looking at programs that would help men stop using violence," she told the assembly. "What they came up with was not an off-the-shelf program, but one which is culturally appropriate and community based."

Instead of sending away abusers, the New Day program pushes them to take responsibility for their actions, and aims to reintegrate them into their families and communities whenever possible. Through individual and group therapy, they explore what triggers violence and feelings of anger and powerlessness—for many, it's memories of abuse in residential schools—and work on resolving that trauma.

Nadli is himself a residential school survivor, and acknowledged his mistake in front of his peers. "I made a wrong choice and sought help to understand myself and how abuse affects our families and our communities," he said.

In the assembly, MLAs quibbled with Justice Minister Louis Sebert about how many had accessed the restorative program. Only 16 had completed all the sessions, said Sebert, but about 350 have accessed some of the services, argued MLAs. At a cost of nearly $1 million over three years, the ministry is still holding out on a decision about whether the pilot will continue. A third-party evaluation is expected to be released in the coming days.

Counsellors that facilitate the program acknowledge that treating abusers and victims together is controversial. Before any group sessions can happen, A New Day staff first make sure women know there are shelters and victims' resources available, and inform them that participation in the program doesn't guarantee safety. In many cases women say they don't want the relationship to end, they just want the violence to stop.

As an outsider, it's hard not to take the rallying behind Nadli as further pardoning of terrible behaviour. It goes against "zero tolerance" rules that the assembly has aimed to uphold in the past. Yet it also marks a shift in conversation, one that values the restorative approach many victims request, over punishments imposed from outside.

MLAs like Green urged the minister to act soon, arguing an interruption in services could reverse some of the healing work that's already in progress. "I have no quarrel with evaluating the pilot," she told the assembly. "That is the right thing to do, but the prospect of shutting the program down before coming up with a replacement is completely unacceptable."

Follow Sarah on Twitter.


I Spent a Summer Undercover to Find Out How Magaluf Became the UK's Favourite Hedonistic Holiday Spot

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Some tourists having a lovely time in Magaluf (Photo: Jamie Lee Curtis Taete)

This article was originally published in VICE UK.

Of all the plastic paradise holiday resorts with a reputation for pissed-up British tourists, Magaluf on the Spanish island of Majorca roars the loudest. Thanks to its status as one of the most popular destinations for young people from Glasgow to Southend-On-Sea to go drinking, vomiting and shagging ever summer, "Maga" is never too far from the front pages.

In 2014, the Magaluf "Blow Job Girl" video went viral, sparking global horror at the debauched state of British youth. Subsequent clampdowns on pub crawls, nakedness and street drinking on Magaluf's main strip of neon-lit bars and clubs have since evaporated. So this summer, the place was again buzzing with tales of hellfire and brimstone, and the newspapers loved it. Tabloids salivated over the resort's "hideous glory" with endless photos of half naked, drunk young women; footage of a street fight recorded on a mobile phone; and video of a young British woman in a bikini getting beaten up by hotel security guards.

Teenagers were warned about catching the "Maga Clap", about "creepy" foreign porn filmmakers waiting to pounce on drunk young women and even "a giant African who bear-hugs his victims until they pass out". There were reports of "deadly" hippy crack, crystal meth sellers and drink-spiking gangs, and two British tour reps were arrested for being part of a Magaluf cocaine smuggling ring that sold drugs to tourists.

Of course, all of this likely works more as an advertisement than a put-off to young Brits looking for a hedonistic week away. But beyond that, what is it that keeps people going back for more year on year and, in some cases, getting jobs out there?

Ethnographer and criminologist Daniel Briggs, a Londoner who now lives in Madrid, has been documenting young British holidaymakers abroad for several years, initially in San Antonio in Ibiza and this summer, alongside colleague Anthony Ellis from the University of Salford, in Magaluf. As a result he's gained unprecedented, below-the-surface insight into what makes this industry tick. So I decided to speak to him.

Some more Brits just having a bit of fun in Magaluf (Photo: Jamie Lee Curtis Taete)

VICE: Why did you start researching Brits abroad?
Daniel Briggs: I remember reading a newspaper article ten years ago about how young working class British tourists were an embarrassment to the middle classes. It was making fun of people lower down the social chain, looking down on working class holidaymakers. They get STDs, they get injured in fights, they're found dead floating in swimming pools. It didn't sound like fun, so I wanted to find out a bit more about why people went to these places.

You spent a lot of time on a previous research project hanging out in crack houses. Did your research into Spanish resorts follow the same gonzo methodology?
In a way. A lot of the existing research into British tourists abroad consisted of surveys done at airports, asking people how much they had drunk and how often they'd had sex on holiday. But this was flawed, because no one can remember in hindsight. I thought it would be much better to go there and throw myself into it, do what the tourists do: get drunk, go to strip clubs and wake up at dawn on the beach.

So as part of your research you spent a week going native in Magaluf?
A colleague and I were there over the first week of August. We spent most of our time in Punta Ballena, also known as the "strip", where most of the nightlife in Magaluf is centred. We recorded what we saw and the conversations we had, and interviewed 150 British tourists for a survey about their attitudes, intentions and what they had got up to. We also looked at the amount they were spending and how the tourism industry worked on the ground.

And a couple more (Photo: Jamie Lee Curtis Taete)

What did your interviews with the British tourists tell you?
Most were English, Scottish and young. Two-thirds were aged between 17 to 20 and for most it was their first holiday they had been on without their families. Less than one in ten of them were interested in "seeing the sites" of Majorca. They told us coming to Magaluf was all about taking advantage of opportunities and seizing what is on offer. One in four admitted they were going to take illegal drugs. One in six had been in a fight, and the same proportion had been involved in an accident, from small falls to hospitalisation. Their motive was about the bars, clubs and cheap booze; about committing themselves, and their money, to the Magaluf resort.

How much is spent on the strip?
Our estimate is that, from April to July this year, British tourists aged 16 to 30 spent €88 million (£78.6 million) in Magaluf's main resort. That's €700,000 (£625,000) a night being spent almost entirely on the strip. It is this intense spending that dictates everything about how Magaluf operates.

A big presence on the strip are the PRs, the people employed by bars and clubs to drag in punters with cheap booze offers. What part do they play?
Tour reps and PRs are a bit like mini-celebrities here. To be a PR in Magaluf is to be seen to possess a higher social status than the tourist. Working holidays are sold by a number of different private agencies in the UK as something you should do if you want to live a fulfilled life. Agencies say you can work and play at the same time and get free drinks, which sounds great to impressionable young people who are bored with their lives at home, and where the job market doesn't offer them a lot. So this work for them becomes quite important.

But your research found that often things don't quite work out for those working in Magaluf, whatever their smiley Instagram pictures might show.
The PRs are seen as fodder. They quite happily accept these jobs for a bed and €20 a night – if they're lucky, depending on how "bubbly" they are. Some I met were working in oppressive circumstances, having to bunk up illegally with other PR workers, managed by people who in some instances have taken away their passport so they are obliged to stay and prevented from leaving. They don't register with authorities, so they are completely stuck.

You have a small group of PRs who come though agencies: they're official and registered and usually wear pink bibs. But the problem is, such is the demand for revenue during the peak season that a lot of bars and clubs will risk fines to employ PRs illegally. On the surface the PRs are having a great time, but when you ask them whether they enjoy what they are doing, it falls apart quickly. Many of them told us they don't enjoy it, as it drains them of their energy and health. The reality of working as a PR can actually be pretty miserable. But it can lead to trouble, too.

Like what?
Drug culture goes hand in hand with some elements of the PR industry here. PRs are much more likely to take and sell drugs than the regular tourists. Because of the shitty wages they get, PRs will often look to augment this in some way. So when they sell boat party tickets, some will sell a bit of cocaine on the side. It's a nice way to top up. A lot of them will consume what they are dealing as well. Coupled with wanting to spend more and more and seize as many opportunities they can, they get completely towed away by the lifestyle. The ideology of the good life becomes so much of a pull that their grey existence at home is forgotten and they stay out there and live this kind of party lifestyle. For some it becomes too much in that they struggle to manage the drugs they use. They can fall into debt and end up selling or smuggling drugs, like I believe the Peru Two did while working in Ibiza.

(Photo: Daniel Briggs)

Is there an undercurrent of crime in Magaluf?
A lot of incidents in the resort go unrecorded; there is a massive hidden crime rate here. I photographed a huge amount of blood on a wall one night, and by the next day it had been washed away. It was a small symbolism of the violence that goes on here every night. There is a fear of reporting crime – police are not that interested, they don't take it seriously and there's hardly any police on the resort anyway. About 25 police officers are charged with dealing with thousands of people in this resort. Outside the minuscule police presence, a lot of crimes are permitted: drug use and drug dealing, prostitution, robbery and victimisation. There is widespread corruption on the island. In fact, the chief of police has been suspended over claims of corruption and extortion linked to clubs on the strip.

Who runs the drug trade in Magaluf?
The police and tourists unfairly blame a lot of robbery and drug crime on African immigrants. But the big part of the drug selling is done by the British. The drug trade there is haphazard; there's no hierarchy with one big top guy sitting on top of a pyramid. There are the Brits – those who go there intentionally to sell drugs who will have good connections on the island already – who are higher up the chain. Then you have the individual entrepreneurs who will drive cars from the UK with drugs hidden away, or plug themselves with drugs on a flight.

Why did Magaluf become so popular with young Brits in the first place?
It became more youth-oriented in 2007 because of the economic climate around that time. Families spend less because they budget. Young people on holiday do the reverse. The resort needed a new marketing strategy around the tourists most likely to sustain it: young people. Tourist companies drove the price down of the holidays, upped the marketing around a youth scene and increased the number of all-inclusive hotels.

This did several things. It put off families and deterred other international tourists, as the culture of tourism clashed with that of young working class Brits whose lives revolve around nighttime activities such as drinking and drugs. It also turned up the heat on existing businesses such as tourist shops and local Spanish restaurants, which shut down as all the tourist spending became concentrated in bars and clubs on drink and drugs. New businesses start offering exactly what the British tourists wanted: 2-4-1 drinks and cheap breakfasts. So essentially the space reinvented itself around the demand for young British tourists. Recently, this has been bolstered by the lack of interest in other tourist destinations because of terrorism and political instability. Turkey, Egypt and Tunisia are no-gos for many people now.

But now, in an attempt to attract a different set of tourists, the authorities in Magaluf are making it more upmarket, including opening the resort's first five star hotel. Will this put the usual crowd of Brits off?
No. The authorities think they are going to solve it by building plush hotels and increasing alcohol prices. But as proven in San Antonio, it invites the same category of tourist back, just to spend more money because they want to afford what is on offer. The motive to go back and return is linked to the ongoing need to maintain an ideological social status and be seen to be participating constantly in activities or at places which reflect the good life.

Thanks, Daniel.

@Narcomania

More on VICE:

A Big Night Out in... Magaluf!

Photos of the Tattoos Drunk British Tourists Got in Magaluf

We Went to a Foam Party in Magaluf

10 Questions You Always Wanted to Ask: 10 Questions You Always Wanted to Ask a Person Who Is HIV Positive

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Photo courtesy of Alex Sparrowhawk

Some time in 2009, Alex Sparrowhawk hooked up with a guy and, in the throes of passion, the pair decided not to use a condom. A couple of weeks later he started feeling unwell and developed a cough that lasted a bit too long. While the first HIV test came back negative, the second one did not. Today, he is one of the 103,000 people estimated to be living with HIV in the UK.

A few years after his diagnosis Alex left his job in insurance to work for the Terrence Higgins Trust, in their My HIV online peer support forum. "It's nice to do something you know can make a difference rather than just pay the bills," he told me over the phone, when I called him to ask a few questions.

VICE: What's it like to live with HIV today?
Alex Sparrowhawk:
It sounds weird to say, but its probably the best time to be diagnosed right now. The medication is improving all the time. I didn't let it stop me working and I've been really lucky to have a good support network.

What is still a problem is the stigma surrounding it. The comments below online articles about HIV, for instance, are horrendous. Or, like a year ago, when the Charlie Sheen story came out, hearing people talk about it in the pub I'd just think, 'You're clueless – you have no idea what having this virus means today.'

What was your first reaction when you found out?
When I got the message asking me to come back into the clinic a few days after the second test, I knew that something was wrong. They wouldn't ask you back if it was all clear. So I contacted an ex, who is HIV positive, and he came with me to the clinic. When they told me, I had so many questions, like: "Am I going to get ill?" "Am I going to have to quit work?" "Am I ever going to meet anyone again?" The doctor and my friend tried to reassure me, but I didn't take much of it in. Even though I went in there guessing what was going to happen, it was still quite a shock.

Are you currently in a relationship?
Three months after my diagnosis I met someone and we were together for six-and-a-half years. We just split up this summer – nothing to do with the virus, though. But it's crazy, because when I was first diagnosed, I thought I would never meet someone – then I met my ex quite quickly.

How do you first tell people you're dating that you're positive?
Because I met my ex, I didn't really have to deal with too many of those conversations about my status. Now I think: 'How do I bring it into conversation without it being weird?' It's not that I'm not happy to talk about it, it's just that it doesn't lend itself easily to small talk.

I've been avoiding dating apps since the break-up because it feels like a bit of a headache deciding how to go about it. Like, am I just going to attract ignorant people? Friends of mine who are also HIV positive have shown me some of the horrible stuff that they've been sent on Grindr, like, "You shouldn't be on here, you're spreading it!" So I'm not sure if I can be bothered with all that.

Do you ever get paranoid about passing it on, in the way people who are not HIV positive sometimes are?
I'm OK with it – I think I'm confident enough in the science and research behind it that I know that I'm not "infectious". I don't feel like I'm putting anyone at risk. Once you are on PrEP, and the virus is at an undetectable level and has been for six months or more, the risk is negligible. It's amazing that we've reached the point, where you can stop transmission just by getting people on treatment.


Photo courtesy of Alex Sparrowhawk

Am I right to assume you are on a lot of medication? If so, what's that like?
I just take one tablet a day. I do have to take it every day, but it's become a part of my daily routine, just like brushing my teeth. Some people have told me they find it difficult because maybe for the rest of the day they can forget about being positive, but that moment is a daily reminder that they have HIV. I think it's important not to make it into a big deal, so I just neck mine with dinner and a glass of water every evening.

Have you ever been discriminated against at work for being HIV positive?
I think I've been really lucky. I never had issues in my last job, and obviously now that I work for an HIV charity, I don't. I came out on social media and in my workplace back in 2012 because I wanted to be more visible in activism, and I had nothing but support from people. I explained that I'd already had HIV for three years, and obviously during that time I hadn't changed at all as a person. And I think I'm confident enough now that even if there was an issue, I'd know how to challenge it and where to get the right advice so that it didn't happen to anyone else in the future.

Has your status affected your view of your future at all?
I guess you have to play the cards you've been dealt in life, and that's what I've done with HIV. I think I've become more confident and stronger and, these days, I am doing things that I don't think I would have pushed myself to do had I not been diagnosed. I guess it's challenged me to get more out of life because I don't want to waste it. Even though I knew I wasn't going to die and that I was going to be healthy, I wanted to make sure I was having fun.

Do you have much hope that scientists are going to develop a full cure?
I don't think I need curing. I take one pill a day, and that being enough to stop me transmitting it, I feel that's all the cure I need. Obviously it's different for everyone and, maybe, when I'm older I'll be more susceptible to different conditions and then I might feel differently. But I think you have to be realistic, and a cure is probably decades off.

What do you wish other people knew about HIV that they currently seem to be getting wrong?
I think everyone should know that people who take their medication can't transmit the virus to anyone else. We can have normal, healthy lives and do anything that anyone else can do. And I think you can only achieve that by being visible and talking about it – even if it's just within your own social circle.

More on VICE:

Young, British and Living with HIV

We Spoke With the Club Owner Who Organises Sex Parties for HIV Positive Men

What It's Like to Tell Your Boss That You're HIV Positive

The VICE Guide to Finance 2016: How to Have a Night Out in London Without Spending a Penny

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This article was originally published in VICE UK.

One of the biggest sources of anxiety I have in life is that feeling I get hidden in bed and hungover after a night out in London, haunted by the idea of my bank balance. I just can't cope. And with the incessant redevelopment, club closures and noise control sanitising the city, it's not like going out in the capital is even any good - crammed in a pub cubicle talking to Dave from IT about why you guys don't do this more often. Yes, at this point, London is shite to go out in, and it's impossible to do it without haemorrhaging your entire week's food budget. But does it have to be that way?

With the city's endless stream of tech launches, PR nights and gallery openings, there is a constant of open bars, but who for? Certainly not me. This is for people entitled beyond money or bank balances: Tory hybrids, industry types and the like. Yet I've always wondered whether we could – if we all suited up and walked around with that same air of entitlement – make the city work for us in the same way? To get blasted without dipping into our pockets? As a matter of public interest, I was going to find out. I emptied my wallet, slipped into some Tory garb and jumped on a bus to Oxford Circus with the mission to paint the town red – no, green.

Sure, this was a big night out. But I wasn't going where Regular Oobah – who woke up this morning to the sound of squirrels gnawing his window frame – would go. I'm heading straight into London's entitlement heartlands: Mayfair, for a visit to Fortnum and Mason. It's where the Queen shops, and Tory Oobah fucking loves the Queen. Another person he fucking loves is his mother. And, brainwave, he's just remembered it's her birthday! The problem is: she loves flashy things, things that are very expensive that one must – of course – sample before use. But one does not simply slip on a blazer, jump on the 176 bus, stroll up the road and have the red carpet rolled out in front of them, surely?

Walking through the store's lush, patterned corridors, I'm enticed by a sweet bouquet of jasmine, orange and ashen fragrances. Before I know it, my nose is buried in a small pot of dried leaves.

"Excuse me, can I help you at all?" A lady peeks over my shoulder and I'm shaking my head, ready to bolt. "Would you like to try a cup of that?

"Please, yeah. That would be incredible." She pours the first from an ornate lamp. I guzzle it and, before it slides down my throat, there's another. I catch the price on the minute pot of tea: £20. I'd just sipped through a fiver's worth of tea gold, and nobody gave a shit! This place has a deli, a wine bar, a barber... the possibilities are endless. But I couldn't take the piss.

"My price range is £100-ish and above, really." I breathe heavily over the whisky counter. "Something really high quality for my mother. It's her birthday today."

"Fantastic," Laura scuttles toward an amber-lit bar, gesturing me over. She places whisky bottles on the counter, burying her nose into the bottle and inhaling dotingly. "Are you into whisky?" "Oh yeah, I love whisky," I shoot back, without hesitation. She pours out three shots, naming the prices of the bottle. £65 for this bottle, £115 for this, £135 for this – fuck. And the next three were out in front of me: £54, £135, £150. This is insane: I'm drinking singles worth even more than a London pint.

A couple more come and go, and I ask Laura about whether she likes the Elgar that's playing in-store. She prefers shoegaze. Then it takes me 15 minutes of discussing Lotus Plaza's Spooky Action At A Distance to realise that I'm feeling it; it's pretty much sub-human to be caning whisky like this at 5pm. I need a new scene.

NET: +£45. EXPENDITURE: £0.

Offices are spilling out into the pubs and, with them, opportunity. I've lost count of the amount of times I've been caught up in that Friday finishing work hew, buying rounds for wankers I've never seen before because they're putting their hand in the air. And I've always thought: why can't I be one of those beautiful wankers? So I follow the swarms of loosened shirts and clicking heels to the Red Lion. If I just perch on the edge bar, I can catch their eye. And here's the perfect target: glazed look, teethy smile, he's counting out numbers and – yes, you got it – I'm up for it!

Sure, the fella simply scrunches his face at my request but it's nothing to be too disheartened about.

I lean in as the lady is reaching the punchline in a joke about her ex's cooking. As she gets there I heartily chortle, slamming the bar with my fist.

"That's great, Melissa!" I shout.

"You what?"

"I'll get one if there's one going."

She looks me up and down, "You look about 12, love!" Spinning off, hands full, toward her table. This wasn't working: the people of London weren't having anything. Ready to leave, I overhear two guys discussing where they were when Brexit happened.

"You know guys," I interject. "I can top it. I can top it – I was at Glastonbury, still up at 6am, sat at the Stone Circle. My mate had just been puking into his hat and, I was on a different planet at the time, loving life. Then he lifts his head up and says 'We've voted to leave the European Union.' I've never been dragged back down to earth so hard." They start laughing. We giggle together and, after introducing themselves, offer a pint. Gus, Mike: you're the good guys. Me: a successful bar wanker. Dreams come true.

NET: +£49. EXPENDITURE: £0.

It's a good start, but I can feel my head swelling in size and cheeks flaming. It's this empty stomach, making me need food. Everybody knows somebody who brags about the time a Pret guy gave them a free croissant, coffee or some other wanker treat, but I've never been lucky. Clearly they can see straight through my wafer-thin, dead-eyed smile. But tonight was different: I'd have to try harder - relentlessly flirting until something is thrown at me. And having lathered myself in Fortnum and Mason's finest aftershave, I was on form. Coming through the door, I meet the eyes of a man over the counter: Saul.

"My word, your eyes are startling, sir."

"Thank you! What would you like?"

"I would like to know where you're from," I gaze at his nametag, "Saul."

He smiles and looks to his friend. "Mexico."

"I love Mexico, Saul. You know I travelled around it a year or two ago? There's something very romantic about that place."

"Sure, sure. I miss it. So, sorry, what do you want?"

"I don't know whether it's the whisky talking, but you've got such presence, Saul. Has anybody ever told you that?" At this point, Saul begins serving the man behind me on the other till. We carry on playing this game of cat and mouse for the next 20 minutes: he's toying with me. So I start singing David Bowie's 'Soul Love', pointing at him every time 'Saul' is sang. Eventually he walks over: "I'm really sorry but listen, I can't give you anything. My duty manager is the only one he can give things out; I can't risk it."

Depleted, I halt mid-song and turn toward the door. I hear "Hey!" sound across the room.

A latte! I knew it: this would help straighten me out. We gazed lovingly into one another's eyes, smitten.

VALUE: £51.50. EXPENDITURE: £0.

Piccadilly: London's buskers sing aloud, trying to bridge tributaries of tourists, boozers and commuters. Each pub, crowded and spewing its guts onto the street, is a bouncer-fronted no-go. I start traversing the main roads, taking one of those Soho shortcuts that seem to bend the very fabric of the universe. Somehow, I end up on a cobbled street I've never seen in the night. And there is a bar I'm not familiar with. Perched on its steps are a mix of people dressed in sportswear and casual office wear, sucking back beers. There is no bouncer.

I head up to the bar, which a few people stand behind. I grab a girl's attention: "Two beers, please." She shoots back over the bar, "Why don't you get them yourself?" Startled, I stand frozen. She rolls her eyes, slams a few Heinekens in front of me and walks off to drink with her friends. Is this an open bar? Not exactly; this is an open advertising agency, with a bar. Good lord! Must play this cool.

Two Heinekens go down; I grab myself two more. Looking around the room, I wonder whether everybody here is on the same journey as me: chasing the complimentary dragon. What if some other fly-on-the-wall is penning some sort of postmodern experiment about privilege, with me as their example? At this point, I'm definitely drunk.

Things start to wind down, and I ask my new friend Marcus what the plan is now. The feeling I get is that the kind people of the ad agency are A) sick of me or B) legitimately want to go home. Either way, they provide me with the name of a club promoter who runs a place not far from here – a guy who may be able to 'sort me out'. God bless advertising.

VALUE: £71. EXPENDITURE: £0.

And they were right: a wink and handshake as I bellow his name works a treat. Fuck the £20 entry fee, I'm hot property. "Take care of him," the promoter says to the maitre d. I'm led to the VIP tables in the club, where large bottles of Grey Goose wait in large buckets of ice.

I've never been so VIP. It's like another reality. People look at you like: 'Why is this moonboy, with his bowl haircut and train ticket around his neck, getting special treatment?' But I don't give a shite. There's a dancing platform specifically set up for the people from the main club to jealously leer at us VIP-ers dancing. So I get a groove going.

This was indeed a classy affair. Soon the staff begin shooing us off the stage back to the tables. Clearly somebody more VIP-ier than us is destined for the stage and – eventually – they arrive. It's time to find somewhere else.

VALUE: £100. EXPENDITURE: £0.

Club after club turn me away and I begin pulling my hair out. They can tell by the look in my eyes and sweat on my forehead that I'm operating on another planet; I need to sober up. I've not eaten in hours, but there is no Pret light in sight. What do the hungry creatures of the night do in a city that shuts down at 2am?

The foxes and freegans may be onto something. There has to be something worth rifling. There has to be.

Nope, absolutely nothing. This is a low point. Possessed by my stomach, I start to understand the danger of desperation. When mugged at knifepoint in Highbury a month or two back, I was dumbfounded why it should be me, but I get it now: it could have been anybody. And when you're in a grave situation, you have to make grave decisions. I have to use all of my street smarts to survive this. I have to politely mug somebody.

"Hey, punk!" I tap his shoulder as he points out cigarettes. "Please, please buy this Mars bar for me. I mean it!"

"What the fuck, mate?"

"Listen, punk: I'm really hungry. I really, really want you to buy me this Mars bar, please." This could go either way: is he going to bolt, to call the fuzz?

"You're one of the weirdest fellas I've ever met. I mean, the cheek!" He scratches his chin, looking me up and down. "Alright, mate. And here's 50p too: spend that on whatever you like. Fill your boots. Weirdo."

I made out of there quicker than a jackrabbit! I'd done him before the sirens had even had chance to sound! I was post-money saver; a man up on funds. Swallowing chunks of Mars bar, I #Believe! I'm going to take this 50p and turn it into my fortune. I have the land of money in my sights. The strip that never sleeps: Leicester Square.

VALUE: £101.70. EXPENDITURE: £0.

Things have changed. People are looking at me differently. I've become somebody the city would listen to; somebody they'd respect.

I felt the weight of the world in my hands; capitalism screaming in apoplexy. They had won. I drop the heptagonal silver.

Onto the ground, and get out of there. Money is the route of all evil. It turned me to crime, all in the name of greed, but the truth is: I no longer need it. I'd evolved beyond it in a night. I'm beyond the rat race - I am the rat, surviving on scraps and thriving on the underground. So join me – go out into the city and live off the land. Let them pick up the cheque, for we are party-hopping, bin-rifling, round-gobbling free spirits. Viva La Londo-lucion!

Tonight, I'm going to sleep well, knowing that my bank balance has been untouched. Now, just the small matter of home time.

I fucking hate this city.

@oobahs

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Aviva.

Read more from The VICE Guide to Finance 2016 here

The VICE Morning Bulletin

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Everything you need to know about the world this morning, curated by VICE.


Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images

US News

FBI Clears Clinton (Again), Trump (Again) Says System 'Rigged'
Donald Trump criticized FBI director James Comey's decision to exonerate Hillary Clinton Sunday, telling supporters at a Michigan rally that the recently discovered emails had not been properly investigated. "She is being protected by a rigged system," the Republican nominee said. Comey wrote a letter to Congress the same day explaining the new batch of emails did not change his previous conclusion that criminal charges were unwarranted.—NBC News

Ohio Court Lifts New Rules on Voter Intimidation
The Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals in Ohio threw out new constraints Democrats hoped would discourage voter intimidation in the state on Election Day. A previous lower court ruling had cleared the way for harsher penalties on anyone found blocking, harassing, or taking photos of voters. —CBS News

South Carolina Man Charged with Quadruple Homicide
Police have charged Todd Kohlhepp, already booked for allegedly keeping a 30-year-old Kala Brown chained up "like a dog" in a storage shed, with four counts of murder. Investigators say he confessed to an unsolved quadruple homicide from 2003, as well as the murder of 32-year-old Charles Carver, Brown's boyfriend, whose body was dug up Friday.—USA Today

Seniors Evacuated After Quake Hits Oklahoma
Central Oklahoma was shaken by a 5.0 magnitude earthquake shortly on Sunday night, damaging buildings in the town of Cushing. Though no injuries were initially reported, residents at a senior-living complex were evacuated and taken to a gymnasium.—CNN

International News

Syrian Rebels Announce Assault on Islamic State Stronghold
The Syrian Democratic Forces, a US-backed alliance of Kurdish and Arab forces, has launched an attempt to seize the key city of Raqqa from the Islamic State. Brett McGurk, President Obama's envoy to the anti-ISIS coalition, says the campaign will unfold in "very deliberate phases."—BBC News

China Stops Hong Kong MPs from Taking Office
China's government in Beijing is blocking two young pro-independence Hong Kong politicians from taking seats in the city's parliament in a sign of more aggressive intervention in its territory, which the British controlled until 1997. —Reuters

Indian Government Declares Delhi Pollution 'Emergency'
The Indian government says Delhi's record-breaking toxic air pollution is now an "emergency situation." A coal-fired power station in the city will be shut down for ten days, and schools have been ordered closed for three days as well.—The Guardian

Nicaraguan President Set to Win Third Term as Opposition Cries Foul
Daniel Ortega was close to securing a third consecutive term as Nicaraguan president after early results showed him with a commanding lead. With roughly 20 percent of ballots counted, Ortega had more than 71 percent of the votes, the Supreme Electoral Council announced late Sunday, though opposition leaders said the contest was stacked against insurgents and urged a boycott.—Al Jazeera

Everything Else

'Doctor Strange' Dominates Worldwide Box Office
Marvel's Doctor Strange enjoyed a huge opening weekend at the US box office, taking in some $85 million. The Benedict Cumberbatch movie debuted a week earlier in some markets, and has now raked in $325.4 million worldwide.—The Hollywood Reporter

Snowden Dismisses FBI Conspiracy Theories
Edward Snowden says the FBI had plenty of time to examine the latest batch of Clinton emails. The whistleblower noted investigators would have subtracted duplicate emails: "Old laptops could do it in minutes-to-hours," he tweeted.—Huffington Post

Australian Robber Shot in the Ass with Bow and Arrow
A 68-year-old man in Sydney, Australia, shot a suspected home intruder in the butt with a bow and arrow. Police are still hunting for the alleged thief, believed to be a white male in his 30s, and have advised him to seek medical attention for his injury.—The Australian

Boiler Room Festival Shut Down After Arrest
The Ray Ban x Boiler Room Weekender in Lake Harmony, Pennsylvania, was shut down early Sunday after witnesses saw cops making arrests. Video footage obtained shows a young black woman handcuffed and surrounded by police.—Thump

Canada Spent Over Half a Million on Royal Visit
Canada spent about $649,000 on the latest visit of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in late September, according to figures obtained through an access to information request. William and Kate spent about $13,000 on hospitality alone.—VICE

The XX Release Another 55-Second Clip on Spotify
British chillwave heroes the XX teased fans again Sunday with another 55-second clip of new music on Spotify. It was the second time in three days the group floated new material.—Noisey

Carnival's New Voluntourism Cruise Doesn't Help or Hurt Anyone

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Volunteers gather at a reforestation activity.

This story appeared in the November issue of VICE magazine. Click HERE to subscribe.

On the night of July 4, somewhere between Florida and the Dominican Republic, the sea is calm, but the cruise ship is not. The resident band is covering country tunes by Zac Brown, and a few songs by the less overtly patriotic Justin Bieber, who is, in fact, Canadian. But if anyone notices, they don't seem to mind. The youngest and oldest passengers tear up a dance floor decked out in American flare, while the middle-aged just watch.

Sitting at the bar wearing a red, white, and blue lei necklace is Ross Velton. "Everywhere I look, I'm getting laid," he says dryly. An approachable, middle-aged guy from Orlando, Velton has a relaxed demeanor that wouldn't lead you to guess he spends his free time racing cars. He's the type of person who can hold an earnest conversation with anyone.

For now, though, Velton is alone, nursing a Dominican beer, soaking it all in. Velton isn't here to celebrate. He's here to lose at USA-themed bar trivia, and because he's come across a great deal with Fathom, the world's first-ever cruise line for vacationers who don't just want to do beaches, spas, and shopping, but to do good.

Launched in April, Fathom consists of a 704-person ship, the Adonia, that sets sail every two weeks from Miami to Puerto Plata, where cruisers volunteer to plant trees, build floors, teach English, and otherwise make the Dominican Republic a better place. (On the off-week, the boat heads to Cuba.) But Fathom isn't the handiwork of some Christian missionary or celebrity NGO. It's a subsidiary of Carnival, the world's largest cruise operator, with revenues of $16 billion a year.

Fathom exists to make money, but it also exists to fill a growing demand in the global-tourism industry: volunteering, a trend widely referred to as "voluntourism." One might think that vacationing and work are inherently at odds. But a 2008 study by Tourism Research & Marketing found that more than 1.5 million people vacation to volunteer, spending about $2 billion annually. Fathom may be the largest single manifestation of that trend to date: In its first year, it claims it could ferry 18,000 passengers who could generate upward of 200,000 volunteer-hours—the equivalent of more than 100 full-time NGO workers. It calls its program "impact+travel," "travel with purpose," that, according to its website, "provides the opportunity to build community with like-minded travelers, become immersed in another culture, and work alongside its people to create enduring social impact."

It's a bold claim. Most volunteer organizations have similar goals—the Peace Corps, America's most renowned foreign volunteer organization, strives for "lasting impact" in the communities where it works. But Peace Corps volunteers go abroad for periods of two and a half years, not two and a half days, and they tend to be frank about not knowing for certain what effects, if any, their efforts may have. This is why critics of voluntourism—such as the filmmaker Chloé Sanguinetti, whose documentary The Voluntourist follows a group of foreign volunteers in Southeast Asia—question why companies like Fathom can't pursue just a hearts-and-mind exchange. Better, they say, to leave development work to the professionals and avoid the patriarchal assumption that ordinary people, while on vacation no less, are qualified to help ease complex poverty in a matter of hours.

Having written skeptically about voluntourism in the past, I had similar questions when I first heard about Fathom and what the company calls its "long-term," "unique business model that allows for sustained impact and lasting development." But when I started looking into it, I was impressed. Fathom could have picked whichever volunteer activities would be most likely to sell cruises—visiting orphanages, perhaps. Instead, it consulted with respected local organizations—one of which helped train the Peace Corps, and had even taught me about health and development in the DR when I was a study-abroad student years ago. These local organizations in turn vetted 32 aid programs to determine which ones volunteers might actually be good at. Then, Fathom selected only the eight best of those.

Curious to find out whether Fathom had devised a model to make voluntourism work—and on a massive, profit-making scale—I set sail on its cruise.

Cruisers lounge on the deck of the Adonia.

The Fourth of July celebration on Fathom's boat is, first and foremost, a celebration of America. But it's also a celebration of how America likes to see itself and its place in the world: as an influencer, shipping its missionaries across the globe as a force for good. As I discover at the party, however, not all of the cruisers are there primarily for the volunteering.

"Some of these people are having wet dreams over helping those people," a skinny, red-haired woman named Lisa Cook tells me at the bar. "Doing arts and crafts and music and kumbaya and teaching English in the homes—some people really drank the Kool-Aid."

Cook is on the boat because the ticket is cheap. "If all the money people spent on this they just sent to an organization, think of all the people they could help," she says after berating me for my choice of cruise-ship beer. "But they wouldn't."

That's the secondary argument Fathom makes about its cruises: that the company is directing tourists' money into local communities and organizations that otherwise wouldn't get it. "What makes you think that saying, 'Oh, people, donate to this, support that,' will make people donate?" Ambra Attus, Fathom's on-ground director, later told me. "You don't feel for that cause."

Unlike Cook or the Kool-Aid-drunk cruisers she describes, Velton is going into it all with an earnest curiosity about the ramifications of his volunteering.

"Other than tossing a soccer ball around with kids, I have no teaching ability," he says. "My friends are like, 'What are you doing?' They expect to hear 'zip-line.'"

Velton has measured expectations about volunteering. "'Impact' is a strong word," he tells me. At best, he sees Fathom as a patchwork operation. "You're a drug company—you create a new pill to solve one thing. But we still have headaches."

"It's a roll of the dice," Velton says. "But if it influences even one person, then that's great. Where's the harm in that?"

The Adonia docked at Amber Cove, Carnival's $80 million private port.

The next morning, Velton is attending a prep session for volunteers as the ship neared the palm-treed coastline of Puerto Plata. A perky Fathom impact guide named Tatiana Seles was conducting a multiple-choice quiz that included the island's indigenous inhabitants (Arawak, Taino), the name of the country's most notorious dictator (Trujillo), and the nation from which the Dominican Republic won its independence (Haiti, not Spain).

Seles transitions to more practical things: Don't pet the stray dogs, don't throw toilet paper in the toilet, and if there's no running water, flush with a bucket or let the attendant do it for you. "If someone flushes the toilet for you, are you supposed to tip them?" one woman asks. "No, not here," says Seles.

Seles introduces Velton and his cohort to the term "paternalism" and politely suggests that instead of jumping off the boat and snapping images of poor people, they ought to wait until the end of a volunteer activity, and then ask permission, and even then just take photos with the people, which is less patronizing than taking photos of them.

Toward the end of the session, Seles reads a series of vignettes, each describing an everyday Dominican. There's Miriam, the elementary school teacher who loves teaching, and Robin, the humble handyman who, when asked what he'd do if he won a million pesos, said he'd give it to his family, "without a second thought."

"Look at all the things they don't have. And yet, they're totally happy," Seles says. "DR, happiest country on earth, honestly."

When the session ends, Velton and I walk outside to one of the boat's balconies, where we watch the ship inch slowly into Carnival's new private port, which it opened last year at a cost of $80 million. Velton mentions the simplicity of the narratives that Seles read. "The presentation was like, 'We're really poor, but we're really happy.'

"I'm not trying to be cynical. But she wrapped it up with, 'This is the real DR,'" he continues. "But you and your company spent millions of dollars to make that port, and now you're showing me someone who's poor!"

A few french fries fall in front of us from an upper deck, landing on the dock below. As we look down, we see eager passengers beginning to disembark. Velton wonders what his volunteering will entail. He hopes the work will be hard—that it will feel rewarding. He wants to be the guy getting his hands dirty while pouring heavy concrete with a shovel. "But I know that they've planned this as, You're gonna be standing over here smiling with a bottle of water."

A group of tourists on one of Fathom's buses, en route to a volunteer activity

An hour later, I'm sitting in a church in Puerto Plata listening to a Dominican woman employed by Fathom's local partner, Entrena, tell a room full of Fathom volunteers that "all of you are part of history." Puerto Plata, she says, is "a city that has been waiting for something. And now something has arrived."

"On the count of three, we're gonna say, 'Oh, yes!'" she shouts. "One, two, three—'Oh, yes!,'" the crowd cheers. The volunteers disperse, following Dominican women and children to their houses nearby. We're part of one of Fathom's English-tutoring programs, a volunteer activity that, to Fathom's credit, seems to strike a perfect balance between what Dominicans need and what sun-seeking cruisers can do.

Inside a well-furnished living room, a 13-year-old Dominican girl named Sandra tells me she's learning English to get into the tourism industry. "It's very hard to find opportunities without English." Her friend Luigi, also 13, says they're taught English in school but admits they don't really learn it.

In another home, nearly a dozen children crowd around four volunteers. "Tee-shirt. TEE-shirt," one volunteer repeats to a little boy, pointing at the boy's T-shirt. The home belongs to Manuela Roselyn Castillo, 25. She tells me she's worked as a waitress in some prominent tourist hotels here but couldn't hold down a job because her English wasn't good enough.

As the tutoring wraps up, one volunteer tells the Dominican women how grateful she is that her teenage son had the chance to meet kids his own age in an entirely foreign place. "I'm sure these memories will last him a lifetime," she says.

A guide leads volunteers in a cheer at the Wine to Water ceramics factory

The next day, I'm on a bus with Velton and 25 other volunteers en route to a small factory to make water filters out of clay and sawdust. I'm sitting in the back next to Taylor Schear, an enthusiastic teenager from Fort Lauderdale. Even though it's been less than three months since Fathom's launch, Taylor is here for the second time. Her mom, Julie Schear, is a travel agent, which earned her a free trip and a reduced-price one for her daughter and her husband in May. They enjoyed Fathom so much that they bought a second trip out of pocket, this time bringing along Taylor's best friend, Michelle Norgren.

Taylor is the type of traveler Fathom wants to attract: She began taking college-level courses her freshman year of high school, knows American Sign Language, and has worked as a volunteer and a mentor at an orphanage near her family's home. On her last Fathom trip, she says she made a Dominican friend. This time, she tells me, "I'm going to try and hold a full Spanish conversation."

As our bus winds its way inland, a thin, 22-year-old Dominican guide named Frank Manuel Vasquez explains that the lack of clean drinking water is a huge problem in the Dominican Republic. "In my home, we buy bottled water at $1.10 for a five-gallon container. This can be very expensive, in some cases impossible for many people, in a country where the minimum wage is $170 a month," Vasquez says.

The North Carolina–based NGO Wine to Water (W2W), which operates the ceramic-filter factory where we're heading, claims that "water related disease take the lives of an estimated 1,300 people a year" in the Dominican Republic, with 15 percent of Dominicans lacking access to improved drinking water. Vasquez tells us that each family we make a filter for today will experience a 4 percent reduction in waterborne illness, which will lower unemployment, keep children in schools, and save families money. On its website, Fathom promises travelers "you will bring clean drinking water to communities in need" and that families' "lives will improve with easier access to clean water and additional income saved by not having to purchase more expensive clean water." (One Fathom contractor later estimated that some families spend 10 to 15 percent of their income on bottled water.)

"I don't care what any anybody says," Bryant Vega told me. "I know I made a difference. This guy has a floor in his fucking house.

"In just five years, Fathom travelers could provide 15,000 homes with water filters and reduce student absenteeism due to sickness by 35 percent," Fathom claims.

When the bus arrives at the ceramics factory, the volunteers are split into four groups and set to work. Taylor, her mom, and Norgren put on breathing masks and start sifting dried clay through a large sieve. Yellow dust fills the air and sticks to their clothes. "It's a great look," jokes Taylor, who tries out a word or two of Spanish on the Dominican craftsmen, to little effect.

The Dominican workers—mainly men who look to be in their 20s—stand behind the volunteers, occasionally offering tips or instructions, but mostly just watching. I talk to one artisan named José Veras, who tells me that in a normal day he and the other workers can sift ten bags of the clay. Today they're aiming for just seven.

Over in the filter-molding room, Velton has sweat running down his face as he rolls a mixture of moist clay and sawdust into large balls, drops them loudly on the ground to flatten them, and carries them to the hydraulic press that will shape the stuff into something resembling an oversize gardening pot. Velton pushes a button to make the machine go, but the lead Dominican craftsman does the skilled work, using pieces of plastic to remove excess clay and shape it. He tells me that in a typical day, a team of three Dominican employees could make 100 filters, but today they're shooting for 25—one for each volunteer.

An older woman who tends to annoy the other volunteers by asking too many questions tells an American consultant for the project, "It seems like we didn't accomplish very much."

"Oh no—you were productive," he responds. "They're counting them right now."

Taylor Schear (front left), Julie Schear (front right), and other volunteers in the initial stages of making ceramic water filters, sifting dry clay through a sieve

After a few group photos, we're ushered back to the bus to distribute some of the water filters to Dominican families. We ascend a winding path into the hills of Los Llanos, a collection of houses along a dirt road not far from the port. We walk to a small yard where four Dominican filter recipients greet us warmly with a prayer. Vasquez teaches them how they're supposed to clean the filters each week, doing a partial demonstration.

Marino Nicasio, the mayor of the community, asks, "How is this different from the sand filters?" Tim Kiefer, an Entrena consultant on the trip, explains that these new filters won't break as easily. Privately, Kiefer tells me that a few years ago, Los Llanos had received bio-sand water filters from the Peace Corps. But some of those filters wore out or broke over time. It occurs to me that perhaps the people receiving filters already had clean and affordable water—the sand filters, or even bottled water, which I had seen in many Dominican homes before—and I make a note to return later to find out.

After the ceremony, as the volunteers shuffle quickly back to the bus, Norgren and Taylor hang back to exchange a few kind words with Nicasio and Eva de Rodriguez Bonilla, an elderly woman who's also receiving a filter. They ask me to translate before hugging and kissing them goodbye. I ask Nicasio about the sand filters—the ones he said "didn't serve well," that "broke before their time."

"Maybe these are better," he tells me.

That night, back on the boat, I find another cruiser named Steven Baines at a meetup for former Peace Corps volunteers (PCVs) in a lounge on one of the ship's upper decks. Baines was joined by three other former PCVs, all of whom now work for Fathom.

Baines, who volunteered in Bolivia, mentions that the projects he and other PCVs pursued took a considerable amount of time to pan out, if they did at all. Gil Lang, an impact guide who volunteered in Romania, admits that he hasn't heard of many Peace Corps projects "that last. But it's about relationships."

I ask Lang if, given how hard it is even for PCVs to achieve lasting change in a foreign country, Fathom's travelers were going away with an inflated sense of accomplishment. He assures me they were not. One sunburned passenger named Bryant Vega, who had just spent the day helping to build a concrete floor, chimes in. "I don't care what any anybody says. I know I made a difference. This guy has a floor in his fucking house."

The next morning, Velton, Taylor, and her family are back at it: this time, building a concrete floor for a family that doesn't have one. On the bus to El Javillar, a lower-income neighborhood of Puerto Plata, Felix Desangles, a bearded Dominican American facilitator with Fathom's local partner, IDDI, leads an orientation.


The pool at Amber Cove

"Thank you for coming over to this island to make this a better place," he begins. Desangles wears dark sunglasses and long sleeves, and he tells us that 80 percent of the people in this neighborhood don't have concrete floors. Imagine how muddy it gets when it rains, or how hard it is to clean a floor made of gravel or dirt, he says. A dirt floor increases the risk of parasites getting into the feet of children, sickening them, making them miss school, and sometimes even hospitalizing them—a costly expense for any family.

"Getting a concrete floor is like winning the lottery," says Desangles. The families get the floors for free, courtesy of the volunteers' cruise tickets and the additional $20 they each paid to do this particular activity.

We descend into an alley where three Dominican boys are already using shovels to mix water, cement, and sand. Desangles calls over Gleni Peralta, whose floor we'll be building. A short, energetic woman in a casual red dress who wears braces and a smile, Peralta gives a speech. "I would like to thank God for sending each and every one of you. This was the only thing left for me to be able to move into my new house."

We set to work. The neighborhood boys who were mixing the concrete are told to hand their shovels to the volunteers. Looks of confusion cross their faces as a Fathom contractor pours half of the cement out of the buckets the boys had just finished filling. It's so the buckets aren't too heavy for the volunteers.

A dozen volunteers form a bucket brigade to pass the cement from the mixing pile down a narrow path to Peralta's house. There are so many volunteers that they have to stand shoulder to shoulder, somewhat gratuitously passing each bucket only a couple feet to the next person.

The guy doing the more skilled work of measuring the ingredients for the concrete is a thin but muscular 27-year-old named Chen Valentine. I ask him if it's necessary to have the tourists here helping with the work. He tells me outright that it isn't—that all the men in the neighborhood know how to mix concrete. But would they do it for free for Peralta, like the tourists are doing? "Claro," he says—of course. In a close-knit neighborhood like this, people help one another out. Besides, with high unemployment, there isn't much else to do.

"I feel like it's helping us more than them," Taylor says, watching Valentine and a volunteer spread concrete on the floor. "But at least it shows them that Americans care." Velton tells me it feels good to be helping Peralta finish her first home. "I couldn't believe so many people live here," he says, looking around the crowded neighborhood. "It makes me feel guilty for playing Grand Theft Auto V."

By midday, the volunteers' work has come to an end, and Peralta thanks them for their help, smiling and laughing. Back on the bus, Desangles wraps things up by reminding the volunteers of the lasting impact they've just achieved. "If there's one thing that they will never forget, every morning that they wake up and put their feet on the cold concrete floor, they're gonna remember what you did for them."

Ross Velton molds clay and sawdust for a ceramic filter.

As the ship chugged back toward Miami, Fathom's impact guides told travelers about the collective impacts they'd achieved—the number of water filters produced since Fathom's inception, the number of floors built, trees planted, hours of English tutored. "These impact activities are going to go on," Seles said to Velton and his cohort. "This is sustainable impact. It's not just gonna disappear."

After our cruise, I returned to the island to see the effects of this impact firsthand. My first stop was Los Llanos, the community where we'd given out water filters. When I arrived at Nicasio's house, I found that he already had plentiful and affordable clean drinking water. There was the sand filter, provided years ago by the Peace Corps, through which he filters his tap water. Other families' sand filters had broken, but Nicasio said his still works just fine. Nearby was a dispenser for blue, Culligan-style five-gallon jugs, called botellones, a second source of clean water. The ceramic W2W filter made three. "I think after I filter it through the sand I'm gonna filter it through the one, too," he told me. In fact, I soon discovered that all four Dominicans who received Fathom's filters that day had already had clean water in their homes.

"I think the tourist has a responsibility to think, Is this company a company that I want to do business with?" Steven Baines told me.

Nicasio explained to me that their community first began drinking purified water 20 years ago, as botellones became readily available and the cost of purified water dropped. He said nearly everyone he knows in Los Llanos drinks clean water, and he didn't mention expense as an issue. (When I spoke to him a few months later, he told me that, because of the W2W filter, he had stopped buying bottled water, though he didn't say whether it was saving him much money). I was glad to see that Nicasio had such ready access to clean water. But I wondered whether the volunteers I had accompanied realized that they were bringing clean water to people who already had it, knew how to get it, and could afford it.

Leaving Los Llanos, I headed on to Puerto Plata to follow up with some of the Dominicans who'd been tutored in English the week before. Emelda Garcia, a quiet, kind woman who owned the house where I had met the two Dominican teenagers, invited me inside. I asked her whether she learns more English during the tutoring sessions with the Fathom volunteers than she does on the off-weeks when the boat isn't here—when young Dominican instructors tutor her instead. "We learn more with the muchachos, of course," she said, referring to the paid instructors. "Any question you can ask them, they know the answer." Fathom employees pointed out to me that, without the travelers' money, this tutoring wouldn't happen. But that seemed to imply that travelers could do even more good if they skipped the cruise altogether and sent their money straight to Entrena's English tutors instead.

A volunteer passes a bucket of cement.

Finally, I paid a visit to Peralta, who had invited me back to see her house, which was nearly complete. It wasn't until Peralta brought me across the alleyway into her old home, the one she shared with her mom, that I looked down and realized that she already had a concrete floor. In fact, in contrast to what Desangles had implied to the volunteers on the bus ride home that day, Peralta has had a concrete floor her whole life. So have all of her children.

Seeking an explanation for these apparent discrepancies, I reached out to Fathom and its contractors. Recalling how Fathom's contractors assured the volunteers that they do regular follow-ups with past filter recipients to be sure that their filters achieve what they claim, I called Josh Elliot, W2W's director of international operations, to ask to see that research. To my surprise, he said it doesn't exist.

How much money did Dominican families save by using the filters? No way to know. Any research showing that its filters had reduced waterborne illness among the Dominican families that received them? That school absenteeism declined by 35 percent as Fathom claimed? Nope. "Our filter water is definitely superior" to the purified water most Dominicans buy, Elliot assured me. So W2W or Fathom has tested them both in the homes? Well, no. Elliot pointed to a limited survey that a partner organization had conducted of W2W's filter recipients. But when I consulted it, I found that of only 68 people surveyed, 13 had problems with their filter, 21 had to have it replaced because it broke, and no statistically significant correlation to reduction in disease or diarrhea was found.

But surely W2W could show me research that its own filters worked in other countries? Actually, says Elliot, "the only area that we do ceramic water filters is in the DR. It's our newest program." In fact, it started just a year ago. Not only does the organization Fathom chose for its volunteers lack evidence that its filters actually work—this is the first time they've even tried it.

Thinking back to the day I watched Fathom's volunteers distribute those filters, I recalled how on the bus ride down the hill from Los Llanos, Vasquez had tried admirably to engage the weary volunteers in a wrap-up discussion about what they'd achieved. "The first time you step on the island, you're already making an impact," he assured them.

A volunteer, with the help of a RePapel employee, takes paper pulp out of a sieve.

"Can we say objectively this family in the DR, in a public-health trial, will experience what this family in Mexico experienced? Not yet, because we haven't measured it," admitted Sarah Binion, a Fathom impact guide, referring to a Mexican government program that measurably improved families' health by giving them concrete floors. She's in a great position to know. When I spoke with Binion in July, she was completing her PhD in international development with a focus on measuring impacts. In fact, she told me she had created a monitoring and evaluation plan that outlines "a systematic way" to measure and evaluate the impact of Fathom's volunteer activities—things like whether families that got water filters and concrete floors report being healthier, happier, or better off for it. She had just submitted the plan to the company for consideration that month, but nothing like it had yet been implemented.

She continued, "As far as what we know, so far, it's very little. All we have right now are outputs"—the number of filters created, floors built. Those "don't translate to outcomes, and don't translate to impacts." "Impacts" meaning whether those filters and floors actually improved health or incomes and whether those improvements stood the test of time—precisely the thing on which Fathom built its brand.

When pressed, some Fathom employees said it's too early to tell about impacts—the company is only in its first year. But if Fathom had been serious about impact, before it started it could have conducted a baseline study, common in development-aid work. This would have entailed visiting each community where activities were to take place to survey residents about their income, health, happiness, and more, so that Fathom could do so again later on to compare change and measure any improvement over time. Yet Binion herself had told me that the only data they had were their outputs.

And while it's true that you can't measure all the impacts

of volunteering, the fact that you can't measure something shouldn't give you the right to simply declare that it works. Two Fathom employees were so confident in Fathom's volunteering that they told me that the problems facing these Dominican communities—problems Fathom is hardly the first organization to attempt to fix—will soon be solved entirely. "If two years from now you come back to the DR and we're still doing the same things, we haven't succeeded," Lang told me on the boat.

But during my return trip to the country, I caught up with John Seibel, the founder and director of one Fathom's partners, Entrena, who admitted that without a study like Binion's, there isn't any way to know if the sweat equity the volunteers invested while making water filters, for instance, actually improved health or wealth among the families that receive them.

"I think that's a pretty good assumption. But the only way to prove that is to see if the water filters are being used," said Seibel. And "obviously," he told me, "you're not at a point where you can determine, 'Will it reduce waterborne disease, or will it not reduce waterborne disease?'"

Well, obvious to everybody but Fathom. I asked Seibel outright: Is it dishonest for Fathom to go on telling its passengers that the water filters those volunteers make will reduce waterborne illness for those families? "I don't know if you can get that specific right now," he told me. "If you're gonna be making assumptions like that, you need to do an impact analysis."

"'Sustainability,'" Seibel continues, "is a word that people talk about, but it's perhaps the hardest thing to achieve." Fathom's current volunteer projects are built on the assumption that Fathom will be in this for the long-term. That's problematic when you consider that Fathom has no assurances that it will.

The fact that there were only 525 passengers on the 700-person boat during my voyage—even after giving free rides to journalists and travel agents and lowering ticket prices last-minute from $1,465 to as little as $200—raises questions as to whether the venture will prove profitable enough for both Carnival and the ship's owner to renew. On the boat, I learned that Fathom's contract with the Adonia, the British ship, was slated to end in 2017. What's more, Seibel told me Fathom's contract with Entrena ends in November. It may or may not be renewed.

That's not what Fathom told Julie—Taylor's mom, and a travel agent who Fathom has asked to help sell its cruises. Julie said she spoke in August with Fathom's regional sales representative, who "assured me that, being backed by Carnival, that they've made long-term commitments to IDDI and Entrena. The commitment that they gave is that they're there as long as they're needed."

Rows of ceramic filters

When I told Julie that the director of Entrena said that wasn't necessarily true, she paused. "That's disappointing. That's really disappointing."

Julie had a similar reaction when I told her that the families to whom they'd given water filters already had clean water. "That's so deeply disappointing. Not disappointing that they had clean water—but now I'm thinking that there are families out there that don't have clean water that really could have benefited from this.

"Well, at least there's the concrete," Julie said. "At least that woman didn't already have a concrete floor. Or are you gonna tell me otherwise?" she added, almost as a joke. I told her what I'd learned about Peralta.

"You can't fluff that," said Julie, a bit angry. "That woman didn't have a concrete floor, and now she does"—those were the words Julie recalled Fathom's local partners saying. "The emphasis on our bus was the health issue, and 'this is gonna make things so much healthier and change their lives.'"

When I followed up with Julie's daughter, Taylor, she told me it wasn't just on the bus that Fathom promised travelers they'd be making a difference, but on the boat too. "It was a whole conversation from multiple Fathom people about how there's a lot of disease that comes from dirt floors because it rains and then all the bacteria... which is true. But it doesn't apply when they already have a concrete floor," she told me. Same with the ceramic filers: "Those Fathom people did not mention anything about how they already had clean water."

"If they're not gonna be credible about what they say, how am I supposed to believe the other things?"

How, for example, was she to believe what she'd heard from Tim Kiefer, the American contractor for Entrena, that ceramic water filters had worked elsewhere and therefore it was safe to assume they'd work here?

"That's the whole conversation we had with Tim," said Taylor. "We were trying to get him to explain how it works, and it was more like, 'We know it works.'"

In "Shipping Out," his famous essay about a luxury cruise, David Foster Wallace writes that "the promise is not that you can experience great pleasure but that you will. They'll make certain of it." Time and again, on the boat and off it, Fathom seems to express this same attitude to its volunteers: not merely that you can make a difference, but that you will.

Volunteers shredding paper by hand

Fathom sells its cruises on that promise. On its website, Fathom claims it provides an opportunity for travelers "to create enduring social impact." The truth might read more like, "It's possible your volunteering will create an enduring impact, but it's also possible it won't, and because we haven't done the proper research, we just don't know."

Looking back, Taylor said, "I think it was meant almost not to be super clear. It seemed sort of sketchy, and it seems like maybe that's the way it was meant to be, so people wouldn't question."

She pointed to those final cohort sessions on the boat, the ones where Fathom impact guides presented them with the raw numbers of what they'd achieved.

"It seems great because of the numerical value," she said. "But I'm not an expert in any of these things. Perhaps if I was a water-filter specialist, I would know that these numbers mean this. But I can't really judge it. And I feel like that's kind of what they're banking on."

When I called up Velton to tell him about what I'd learned, he said it was "a little deceiving" to have been told there was research that showed Fathom's filters were already improving lives in the DR when in fact there wasn't. Still, he doesn't think Fathom acted with malice.

Baines was disappointed to learn that Fathom wasn't doing more to find out whether its volunteers were changing lives. After his time in the Peace Corps, Baines spent three years doing development work for a major NGO in Malawi, where he was required to do monitoring to ensure his health projects were actually working. He was disappointed to learn that Fathom hadn't conducted a baseline survey before it launched. When I told him in August that the company was considering investing in Binion's proposal to study impacts in the future, he said, "I'm a little concerned that you're saying they're considering it as opposed to it being a part of what they already are doing. That shouldn't be something that's up for consideration.

"Given that they have several people that are Peace Corps volunteers, they know that that's important. It's just good business to be able to have baselines," he said. "You have donors you need to report to. If you don't have donors, you don't have investors." Donors, investors—these are the people who, in theory, hold NGOs accountable for their work in foreign countries. But who would do the same for a cruise line?

Most tourists "aren't going to sit back and do a critical analysis of it," said Baines. They're not the professionals. "I think the tourist has a responsibility to think, Is this company a company that I want to do business with?


Volunteers who have signed up to build concrete floors mixing water, cement, and sand

"What I would really hate would be for the families in the DR, for them to lose out in some way," he said. "Fathom, they can take a hit and move on to something else. For the tourists, someone like me, we had an experience. But for the people in the DR, this is their livelihood.

"I think there's a responsibility," Baines said of Fathom's creators. "If that wasn't foremost on their mind, what was?"

As a travel agent, Julie surmised that perhaps the reason Fathom "embellished," as she put it, was to sell more cruises. If so, that worried her even more: What if Julie had unwittingly passed along Fathom's misinformation to her own clients? Since its inception, Julie had felt passionately about Fathom's mission, and she'd twice fallen in love with the experience herself. I asked her if, knowing all this, she'd continue selling Fathom cruises to her clients with such vigor. "I won't sell something I don't believe in," she told me. "I can't be quite so enthusiastic about it now."

Julie said she can't understand why Fathom wasn't more forthcoming in the first place. "If it was presented the way it really is, I still would have enjoyed it," Julie said. "But when you find out the reality is not what was presented, it makes you feel like you've been duped."

I told Julie that I planned to present my findings to Fathom's creator and president, Tara Russell. Julie said she'd read great things about Russell. "It seems like she's the type of person that would take your research and your information to heart. I'm just hoping that they're open to take some feedback and make a change."

The entrance to a gift shop at Amber Cove

Over a phone call, I described to Russell what I'd found. She was surprised to learn that Peralta already had a concrete floor—Russell had thought that her volunteers were giving floors to families that didn't already have them. When I asked her about the water filters, she said their primary purpose was to save families money. When I told her that Wine to Water didn't have any research showing that they do, she said she was "disappointed."

Russell insisted that Fathom has "taken a rigorous and detailed approach" to its volunteering. "We have held ourselves to the highest standard" by "doing robust impact evaluation," she told me.

But Binion had told me in July that Fathom hadn't yet done any sort of studies that could truly measure impact. Russell said Fathom has since begun those evaluations. But when I asked Binion for the details, she wrote, "I'm not at liberty to share because the proposal itself is proprietary and belongs to Fathom." Instead, Fathom sent excerpts from the abstract of that proposal, which didn't explain what metrics it would be monitoring in each community, or how. Fathom also sent a blank questionnaire it said it used early on to fill in logistical notes about each community (distance from port, restrooms, capacity) with tiny boxes for "impact outcomes" that couldn't have fit more than a few words each—nothing resembling or even approaching a baseline study.

Russell admitted "we can't say with certainty, with confidence, what exactly the full extent of that outcome is yet.

"No one could promise to know what would be the outcome," she told me.

When I pointed out that Fathom does make such promises regularly, she said Fathom had merely repeated the information provided by its partners. That sounded unlikely to me since John Seibel, head of Entrena, had told me that without having done the research, the company couldn't possibly know the impact of its activities.

"It's unfortunate we don't have data," Russell told me. "But we do have the anecdotal, strong belief that it has made a demonstrable impact for these families."

Russell's faith in anecdotes became clear when she told me a story about a Dominican woman she met who had "severe breathing conditions and asthmatic conditions," whose family had spent "basically all the money they had trying to keep her alive, in and out of the hospital.

"We came in, were able to put in a cement floor, and by the time I met her, she looked healthy. She was able to go back to work. The kids had gone back to school," Russell said. "So when I think about the impact we've had just on her as a family, it's dramatic."

When I asked Russell what evidence she had come across that made her think that concrete floors cure asthma, she paused. "I don't have all the data around that," she said. Then how could she be sure that Fathom's concrete floor was what had transformed the woman's life?

"This has never been done before," Russell reminded me of Fathom's undertaking. "Do we expect that what we're doing is perfect? No.

"Doing good is complicated."

This story appeared in the November issue of VICE magazine. Click HERE to subscribe.


The VICE Guide to Right Now: Trump's Staff Has Banned Him from Twitter Until the Election

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Image by Matthew James-Wilson

On Sunday, the New York Times reported that Trump's campaign staff has taken over control of the GOP candidate's Twitter account so that he can't go on any late-night rants during the last few hours of the 2016 election season.

President Obama found the news pretty funny, especially since he will be handing over the @POTUS Twitter account to Trump if the election goes Donald's way on Tuesday.

"Apparently his campaign has taken away his Twitter," the president said at a Clinton rally in Florida. "In the last two days, they had so little confidence in his self-control, they said: 'We're just going to take away your Twitter.' Now, if somebody can't handle a Twitter account, they can't handle the nuclear code."

Trump's staffers are currently keeping his feed pretty bland—over the last few days, the former reality star's usual hateful Twitter screeds have been replaced by some generic, spammy tweets about getting out the vote.

Since Trump's not at the helm of his account anymore, we won't know what kind of vitriolic thing he might have to say in response to Obama's dig. But judging by Trump's archive of tweets about Obama, he'd probably toss out a line about how there won't be another black president for generations or something.

Westworld: 'The Adversary' Was the Most Beautiful and Deadly Episode of 'Westworld' Yet

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Warning: Spoilers for episode six ahead.

Westworld is a show that keeps hinting at mysteries and secrets, but has, so far, saved the big reveals for later. With so much shrouded in mystery, it's no surprise that fans are scouring the show for clues as thoroughly as the Man in Black searches the park for his maze. This week's episode, "The Adversary," continues the biblical title trend from last week, employing a classic name for Satan.

Biblical references are seemingly scattered throughout the characters' names here: Bad guy bandit Hector Escaton's (Rodrigo Santoro) may refer to "eschaton" a.k.a. the end of the world. Good guy gunslinger Teddy Flood's (James Marsden) last name calls to mind the biblical flood. Dolores's (Evan Rachel Wood) name comes from the Spanish term for Our Lady of Sorrows a.k.a. the Virgin Mary.

Of course, plenty of other names reference non-biblical things. Dr. Ford (Anthony Hopkins) may reference Henry Ford, the pioneer of mass production. Arnold calls to mind the famous traitor Benedict Arnold. What do all these references mean? Well, we don't know yet. But Westworld is certainly keeping us guessing as they build up to what promises to be an escalating series of reveals in the final episodes.

Hey Arnold!

"The Adversary" is Lucifer, the fallen right-hand man of God who now works to destroy his heavenly realm. For Robert Ford, the genius behind Westworld who touts himself as a god, this adversary is certainly Arnold. Ford starts episode six as a benevolent god. He decides not to destroy an entire village when the construction crew tells him it's in the way of his new storyline. But surveying his world, Ford finds something out of place: the maze symbol scratched into a wooden table.

What do you do when you've attained the power of a god but still have some Freudian issues to work out? If you're Ford, you keep a secret little house filled with robot replicants of your family to play around with. Bernhard (Jeffrey Wright) stumbles upon this unhappy home when he notices there are five unidentified robots hanging out in an unused section of the park. Bernhard is more interested in practical questions and marvels at the first-generation robots whose faces flower open to reveal glittering metal skulls. "Arnold built them as a gift," Ford explains. "He said that great artists always hid themselves in their work."

In episode five, Dolores told Ford that Arnold had enlisted her—or at least encoded her—in his quest to destroy the park. Arnold hasn't gotten to it yet, but he does begin destroying Ford's model family. When Ford finds his kidbot to play fetch with their shared dogbot, the dog is dead. He interrogates the child, who admits that "a voice," Arnold's, told him he needed to kill the dog, so it couldn't hurt anything anymore.

What is Westworld to the robots but a place where they are constantly hurt?

While we're on the subject of names, Arnold and Bernard do sound a bit similar, don't they? Perhaps Ford's family isn't the only bit of the past Ford has kept around in robot form...

Raw Pulp of Truth

While writers like Ford may be the gods of their stories, the frustrated Lee "on sick leave" Sizemore (Simon Quarterman) can only wallow by the hotel pool drinking margaritas. Theresa (Sidse Babett Knudsen) wants him to "start plugging" the holes that Ford is creating in his stories, but Sizemore can't get over his workshop critique from episode two: "I'm talking about the years of my life squeezed down to the essence, the raw pulp of truth, my truth, in one transcendent narrative." "Is that where the whore-o-borus came in?" she quips.

Sizemore tries to hit on a guest at the pool bar, played by Tessa Thompson, but gets interrupted. Further frustrated, he goes and urinates across the giant map of the park, before finding out the woman who got away was the executive director of the board. And he tucks himself back in.

Elsie Wants to Believe

Elsewhere this episode, Elsie (Shannon Woodward) roots through dim, cluttered rooms to untangle the mystery of the transmitter she found last episode. She thinks she'll get a big pay raise from the "corporate overloads" for doing so. This subplot has a nice X-Files feel to it, and Elsie learns that the voices the robots have been hearing have been broadcasted. And their core programming has been changed by Arnold, who is a "pretty efficient coder for a dead guy." Then someone grabs her from behind.

The Road to Pariah

The Man in Black (Ed Harris) gets Teddy to regale him with the "old native myth" of the maze as they ride to the unsubtly named outcast town of Pariah. He starts out talking about how the maze is "the sum of a man's life," but then switches to a story about one man who'd "seen enough of fighting" and built a maze so complicated no one could find him. Teddy himself may theoretically have had enough of fighting, but when they're spied and captured by the Union soldiers guarding the tunnel to Pariah—and who interestingly use the mysterious maze symbol as a brand—Teddy breaks free and uses the gatling gun to kill every last soldier. He may be named Flood, but he kills with lead.

Workshop of the Gods

The star of this week's episode is Maeve (Thandie Newton) whose name is Gaelic for "she who intoxicates." This week, she's intoxicating Felix, the repairman with a heart of gold. To get to him, she finds the roughest-looking brothel customer and insults him until he chokes her to death. Back in the repair area, she wakes herself up and begins asking probing questions about her existence. Felix reluctantly explains that she's a robot while he's human, like the guests who come to her each day... as well as those who control her.

Hosts and guests may look the same, notes Felix, but there's "one big difference": The processing power in Maeve's head is way beyond what ordinary humans have. Still, the robots are completely controlled by their creators. Felix pairs Maeve's brain to his tablet and watches her watch her own speech unfold in a series of algorithmic choices until she fritzes out.

Then comes one of the show's most entrancing scenes so far, as Felix walks Maeve around the upper levels of the headquarters. As a sweeping string instrumental of Radiohead's "Motion Picture Soundtrack" plays, they wander past dead bodies being hosed of blood, workers carrying trays of body parts, nude plastic bodies being pumped to life with blood, programmers testing buffalo and horses, and more. We see Maeve express immense wonder as wanders through god's workshop.

"What the fuck, ding-dong!?" Sylvester, Felix's co-worker, shouts to break the spell. (Felix and Sylvester are the names of famous cartoon cats... Although, I doubt that's the key to any mystery.) Sylvester is, how do I put this, a raging asshole, but with the work of a well-placed scalpel, Maeve is able to convince both him and the sympathetic Felix to tweak her robot brain by lowering her loyalty and feelings of pain, and ramping up her intelligence and agility up to max.

What do the gods do when their creations become more powerful than their makers? It looks like we might find out soon.

Follow Lincoln Michel on Twitter.



What It's Like to Live with Epilepsy

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Illustration by Marta Parszeniew

I have epilepsy. That's something I wouldn't have felt comfortable admitting ten years ago. I guess I thought I could grow out of it—like some children do. But now I just see it as a conversation topic; I'll say something casually like, "I can't drive." "Why?" the other person will say, "Just can't be bothered?" "No," I'll say. "I have epilepsy." Suddenly I'm really interesting. "How often does... it happen?"

It means a fit. And that's what people think epilepsy is all about. I prefer to say seizure rather than fit—it sounds less medieval. I tell them that I don't have seizures very often and that they are well controlled with meds. Knowing that the girl they've just met at a party isn't going to make things weird by having it on the floor usually reassures them.

Epilepsy doesn't just manifest itself in seizures. There's also what is known as a complex partial seizure, which is when you appear conscious but are actually completely unconscious of what you're doing. Once, I sat down on the floor of the Museum of Modern Art in Dublin, took off my shoes, and emptied out the entire contents of my bag. My then boyfriend was filming the exhibition at the time so caught the whole thing on camera.

I had no recollection of it happening.

There are times when it is really awkward. Earlier this year, I was working as an ESL teacher. I'd previously been teaching in Spain and Vietnam, and this was my first job back in the UK. One day in class, teaching a group of students in their 20s, I took off my shoes and unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt. Luckily I was wearing a vest underneath. After the lesson, I went into the staff room and announced that I couldn't find my shoes. A colleague took me back up to the room I was teaching in, and we found them.

I struggle with the identity of being epileptic. My pen still hovers over the box marked 'yes' on a questionnaire in which I'm asked: Are you disabled?

We all empty our bags, take off our shoes, or unbutton our shirts most days without thinking about it—but most people do this in places that are appropriate and when it's necessary. This ability to perform simple tasks without being fully conscious is, on one level, fascinating. But when it's happening to you, it's scary.

My partial complex seizures—or "absences," as I call them—have increased recently, which is in direct correlation with a difficult period in my life. I lost my job—I wasn't enjoying teaching, and it showed. It's a relief not to be teaching any longer. But now I have no money and spend way too much time alone in my apartment.

My sister came around recently. Apparently I suddenly panicked and started asking where everyone had gone. She tried to reassure me—she told me it had always been just the two of us in the apartment. But I was unperturbed and started counting the coats hung up in my hall, "This is mine, and this is mine," I said, to no one.

She tried to calm me down by pointing to a picture that I'd drawn in an art class I'd been in that evening. "Is that yours?" she asked. "I've never seen it before in my life," I told her. When my sister retells me this story, she can't understand how I don't worry that I'm going mad. Counting coats and imagining people in my apartment could be seen as madness, but it could also be a quite rational symptom of a brain that is too clogged up by other thoughts to simply say, "I feel lonely today."

Most people like to feel as though they're in control of their actions. Knowing that I have the capacity to not be in control has had a negative impact on relationships and careers, stopping me from trusting myself and others.

I have juvenile myoclonic epilepsy, which means I didn't have a generalized seizure—when electrical energy sweeps through your brain and causes convulsions—until I was 16. Before that, I'd had one absence. I went to college and assumed I was safe—it hadn't affected me for ages. Then just before my second year, during a stressful last-minute house hunt, I had two generalized seizures in one weekend. It all happened in front of my new college friends, who I barely knew at the time. It really affected my confidence; I was so embarrassed—I was convinced everyone thought I was mad.

I started smoking weed a lot, which didn't help with my paranoia. I also went on an anti-epileptic called Tegretol Retard, which was designed for people who are prone to seizures every day. It made me sedated. Now I'm on Levetiracetam, which is specifically designed for my type of epilepsy. I have been seizure free for a year now. I shouldn't drink or take drugs, but sometimes I cave, even though I know it's irresponsible.

I struggle with the identity of being epileptic. My pen still hovers over the box marked "yes" on a questionnaire in which I'm asked: Are you disabled? Partly because it's a hidden disability, but also what kind of disability is it? It seems to occupy this weird middle ground between mental and physical impairment.

Mental health and epilepsy are interlinked—I can get intense feelings of fear or panic. Once I was sitting on the bus on the way to a job I'd been doing for a month when I was suddenly struck with an intense fear. I rang my sister and asked, "Do you know why I am on this bus to Northenden?" I couldn't remember. A little nugget of panic spread to my whole brain. "You work there," she said. "Maybe you should get off the bus and have a sit down."

Having a condition that makes me do odd, inappropriate things creates a distance between me and so-called normal people. But the older I get, the less I care what people think. My epilepsy is not going to go away. Accepting that and seeing it as part of who I am makes me feel less ashamed. It's taken me a long time to view it in sober, practical terms as a condition that affects me but doesn't define me.

The VICE Guide to the 2016 Election: Women Will Be the Ones to Save America from Trump

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If Hillary Clinton wins the election on Tuesday and saves America from the perils of a Donald Trump presidency, thank the nearest woman, and the nearest feminist.

It's women who are supporting Clinton with the kind of force that could win her the election. It's women of color, college-educated white women, and single women who are particularly strong supporters. And it's feminists who have laid the decades-long groundwork to get us here.

While Clinton has a diverse coalition behind her, Trump's Anti-Establishment candidacy ironically relies on the most traditionally powerful Establishment group around: white men. White men without college degrees are voting for Trump (as are married white women), but so are white male college graduates. If only men voted, Trump would win 350 electoral votes to Clinton's 158, according to FiveThirtyEight's projection tool. If only white men cast ballots, Trump would win all but 45 electoral votes.

This is not a coincidence. Every American election since 1980 has seen a gender gap, with women generally supporting the Democratic candidate and men supporting the Republican one. But the gap this year is particularly pronounced, especially among the subgroups of women who are most likely to come out to the voting booth. Higher education, single status, and financial freedom all make women more likely to back Clinton. The more independent, formidable, and self-reliant a woman is, the more likely she is to support a feminist-minded woman for president.

That women are even in a position to split politically from their fathers and husbands is relatively new. When women gained the right to vote in 1920, only about one in ten married women worked outside the home. Even fewer graduated from college. In the first half of the 20th century, women tended to marry young, began having children in their early 20s, and were financially dependent on a male authority—a father, a husband—for most of their lives. Suffrage was an early feminist victory, and along with that newfound political power came expansions in women's social and economic power, too—women entered college and the workforce in greater numbers, and their average number of children went down while the average age they had those children went up.

But then came the anti-feminist backlash: In the 1950s, when Hillary Clinton was a child, women saw many of those social gains rolled back as nuclear families retreated to the suburbs and women started having more children, and having them younger. (Despite ongoing handwringing about babies having babies, teenage pregnancy actually peaked in 1957.)

The story of what happened next has been told many times before, for good reason: It was one of the most consequential social changes in US history. New movements for gender equality in the 1960s and 70s changed the landscape for women yet again. Feminists advocated for access to birth control and abortion, laws protecting domestic violence victims and rape survivors, and equality in education and the workplace. Women became freer than ever to pursue pleasure and ambition on their own terms, and they began choosing to have children later and later in life. More women attended college and graduate school than ever before; more of them earned leadership positions in government and industry.

Men, particularly the white ones, have long relied on the US government for help.

The daughters and granddaughters of the women who secured the right to vote exercised that electoral power, and the freedom and information they gained along with education, bodily autonomy, and expanded social roles led many of them to conclude that perhaps their interests were different from their fathers' and husbands'. As the Republican Party began shaping itself into the party of white Christian traditionalism and anti-feminism, women increasingly began backing candidates who explicitly supported their rights and freedoms, who advocated for them to take a bigger slice of the American pie.

In this, they took a cue from men. Men, particularly the white ones, have long relied on the US government for help. The GI Bill helped many white men purchase their first home in the wake of World War II, laying the foundations not just of white suburban sprawl across America, but of familial wealth that would endure for generations. Government-funded infrastructure projects have employed millions of men over the past century, many of them without college degrees. Unemployment and disability payments have allowed men to make ends meet when the going got tough. Benefits for workers were often conceived of with a male employee in mind: Domestic workers (who were mostly female) were one category of employees not originally covered by Social Security. And women's at-home labor hasn't been deemed deserving of compensation or government support—even though in those traditional nuclear families, wives working at home were what enabled men to go work outside of it.

Women have been demanding that politicians address their needs for decades, but this has been a slow process. The United States remains one of the only countries in the world without mandatory paid maternity leave, it has no nationalized childcare system, and requiring that insurance companies cover the full cost of birth control is a very recent innovation (insurers still aren't required to cover abortion services). But as women have expanded their public power, the issues that impact women's lives have gained political salience.

For the past several decades, Republicans have been the party of white male welfare, and now they're upset that women and people of color are asking for a piece.

Conservative commentators often describe this march toward equality as women demanding handouts from the government. The American man, in this view, is self-made. The American woman is chronically needy.

"Hillary Clinton needs the single ladies vote. I call them the 'Beyoncé Voters' — the single ladies," Fox News host Jesse Watters said in 2014. "Obama won single ladies by 76 percent last time, and made up about a quarter of the electorate. They depend on government because they're not depending on their husbands. They need contraception, healthcare, and they love to talk about equal pay."

This is in many ways the underpinning of the gender gap: For the past several decades, Republicans have been the party of white male welfare, and now they're upset that women and people of color are asking for a piece. That is more or less what driving force of Trump's candidacy, but he only magnifies and makes more obvious what many in the GOP have long whispered. Republicans claim to champion small government, but have been perfectly happy to support programs and corporate-friendly policies that disproportionately benefit men, and to keep government exactly large enough to intrude into women's doctors' offices. Many in the GOP seem to think women are basically defective men, creatures with weird body parts that lead us to demand special treatment—free birth control to have all the sex we want, paid vacation in order to have babies.

This strategy has worked because many Americans tacitly accept that to be a woman is to sacrifice. Women have long been expected to forgo their own interests in favor of someone else—to selflessly give all of their love and energy to their children, to cede their identities into their husbands', to deny themselves food to maintain an impossible physical ideal. To demand something for ourselves seems greedy, or worse: The woman who is sexually insatiable is a whore, the mother who puts herself first unforgivable.

The women supporting Clinton are same ones who are the least dependent on men and the traditional white American family structure.

Today, a broader feminist consciousness has more women rejecting this cult of female sacrifice while still holding fast to the idea that there is a collective social obligation to help others as well as ourselves. Millennial women, who support Clinton overwhelmingly, mostly grew up in households where mothers worked. We are more likely to attend college than our male peers. We share many concerns with young men—student loan debt, narrowed job prospects—but also have our own: preventing unintended pregnancies, ending those we don't want, and being paid the same as our male colleagues. But women are not a special interest group or a minority—we are half the population. We're finally starting to act like it.

Which is why the women supporting Clinton are same ones who are the least dependent on men and the traditional white American family structure—single women, women of color, women with college degrees. Meanwhile, Trump, a man who has bragged about being able to sexually assault women, has made feminist activism feel all the more urgent. Perhaps this will be the year many women realize collectively that there are limits to what they are willing to accept from the men they vote into office—and maybe even at home.

That Hillary Clinton has even made it to this point is evidence itself of just how far American women have come. If she wins, it won't be just because women vote; it will be because feminists have finally convinced a critical mass of women that our interests and priorities are just as important as men's. This is the first presidential election where a candidate's casual sexism has become a central issue—a rejection of Trump will mean that women have rejected those values en mass.

Trump's candidacy, of course, is itself a backlash to feminist gains, and a Clinton victory won't snuff out the forces underpinning Trump's rise—the men angry about not being wholly in charge anymore will remain. But they will have been outnumbered, and their ranks will grow ever smaller.

Hopefully, this incarnation of dying white male power will find himself soundly, conclusively defeated come Wednesday morning. For that, you can thank a feminist. Or at the very least, if Trump wins, you can't blame us.

Jill Filipovic is a journalist and author of the forthcoming The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness.

The VICE Guide to Right Now: The 'You've Got Mail' Voice Actor Is a Midwestern Uber Driver Now

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The guy says he made $200 for the AOL voice acting job and went on to work at a Cleveland news station before retiring and turning to Uber.

Casting Spells with Manhattan's Planeswalkers

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Before Pokemon, before Yu-Gi-Oh, before Candy Crush, the one game to rule them all was Magic the Gathering. Created in 1993, it has stuck with us through the years. Nerds like me still wait expectantly for Wizards of the Coast, the company that puts out the cards, to release new expansions. After each release, stores across the nation hold tournaments that are called "Game Day." On one of the recent Game Days, we headed over to Nebulous Gaming in Manhattan's Lower East Side to hang with some MTG fans and talk about their favorite cards.

Name: Ibby

MTG Origin: I've been playing since the last time the Eldrazi showed their face, so... 2010.

Favorite Card: Kolaghan, the Storm's Fury, it's a 5 drop 4/5 red/black, when it's on the battlefield. It gives all your dragon creatures +1/+0 whenever they attack, until the end of turn. If you play it for its dash cost it has haste and it returns itself into your hand during your end step.

Deck: Red/black Eldrazi... Red for haste and the black for mobil, combined you can rush your opponent before they get their footing. If they do get their footing and you need to fall back, the red/black lets you remove anything they have, except enchantments. I can't remove those.

Name: Ethan and Ethan's mom, Varda

Origin: We've been playing since Gatecrash, so three and half years. started playing at camp, and over spring break he needed someone to play against, so he taught me to play. I thought I'd be humoring him, but I turned out to be really into it. I played Bakugan and Pokemon with him since he was little. We had been playing less than a week when we went to a Friday Night Magic and drafted. We played together as one person. Our first pick was a 7/6 red/green worm.

Ethan's Deck: A weird red/white mid-range deck that didn't work out too well. I got pretty unlucky, I went against the Colossus and that was really hard.

Varda's Deck: A white weenie deck with a little black in it for control. I did OK, I got flooded a couple times, and mana screwed. The one time I didn't, I won! That match, I went up against a bunch of Planeswalkers, but I kept Stasis Snaring them and Anguished Unmaking them. I'm like, "goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye."

Ethan's Favorite Card: Chandra Ablaze from Zendikar, I don't remember what it does, but I've always loved Chandra. My second favorite is Nihiri, the Habringer.

Varda's Favorite Card: I'm an EDH player, there's so many great cards, but I do love Azusa and good old Sensei's Divining Top.

Name: Russell Dubarry

Origin: Three years. I was competitive in a game called Yu Gi Oh, but Magic just seemed more stable and better for the players. I played YGO for over 10 years. It was very good to me. I did well at tournaments, so I thought it would be good if I converted to MTG.

Deck Type: Jund Planeswalkers, so Jund Superfriends. There was a deck last season green/white tokens. I played a deck that was Naya Superfriends, so I converted into a newer deck, but keep in Radiant Flames because it's really good against aggro decks and Planeswalkers are good against control decks. I thought this would be good for the meta thats not set yet.

Favorite Card: Blood Moon, it just says you can't play unless you play red cards.

Name: James Rosenblum

MTG Origin: Started when I was a kid in 1994, took about 10 years off, and came back in 2010. At that time, they were printing Magic 2010 which had a lot of my favorites like Royal Assassin and Ser Angle, these are the cards I remember from '94. I just thought, "I don't care if it's a game for children, I have fun playing it, I'm gonna come back and play it."

Deck Type: Blue Red Metalwork Colossus. Built around Metalwork Colossus it's a 10/10 11 drop, however the 11 mana cost is reduced by the mana costs of all the artifacts you have in play. It also runs a land called Sanctum of Ugin, which lets you play a second big colorless creature, when you play a big colorless creature, so you can get a bunch of non-creature artifacts and then just play the Colossus for free. If you have Sanctum of Ugin, you can search your library for another one and cast that for free. You can also search for Elder Deep-Fiend, which can tap down the opponent's resources and allow you to attack with these massive 10/10's.

Favorite Card: All time favorite cards are the little white one drops like Thraben Inspector and Doomed Traveler. They're one mana, they have utility, and if you look at which decks actually win the pro-tour, cards like these are often in there.

Name: Sebastian Paz

MTG Origin: I've been playing about 15 years, I'm 26 and I started when I was like 11. It's always been there for me, I never sold my collection. I moved to New York two years ago and it was the best way for me to meet people. You instantly have something in common and can dive into the world with someone. There's so much creativity in deck building and that's so rewarding when you can kick ass with it. Magic isn't just for nerds, it's for everyone.

Deck Type: Blue black red, wanna mess up your opponent's plan, disrupt whatever they're doing. The evil mastermind strategy.

Favorite Card: In this deck, Jace is really good. He's weak on his own, but if you keep him long enough, you can really gain control of the game and force your opponent's hand.

The VICE Guide to Right Now: Someone Bought Hitler's Wife's Underwear for $4,000

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Eva Braun with Adolf Hitler in 1942. Photo via Wikimedia Commons

There's already a thriving online market for people looking to drop a ton of cash on women's used underwear, and WWII collectors have been known to pay top dollar for Hitler memorabilia, too. So it's not a huge leap to assume that there are at least a few people who fall into both those camps and would be willing to shell out some serious bucks on old Nazi panties.

That's exactly what happened this week, when someone dropped nearly $4,000 on an old pair of lacy purple underwear that belonged to Hitler's wife, Eva Braun.

According to the BBC, the Philip Serrell auction house in England sold the underwear—in addition to a tube of red lipstick, a gold ring, and a silver box Braun left behind after committing suicide with the Nazi leader in his bunker—to private collectors during an auction on Monday.

"It is generally people fascinated with that period of history," auctioneer Sophie Jones said of the sale. "I think people who were bidding on them were private collectors more than dealers."

Still, four grand seems like a lot of money to spend on ancient underwear—that amount could have easily bought both William Shatner's kidney stone and Truman Capote's ashes, with a little cash left over to pick up a statue of a different, burned umber-colored demagogue.

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