You may have heard when news broke that the Toronto comic artist and journalist Chip Dzarsky had been fucking with an Applebee’s fanpage in his hometown of Barrie. For months, he has been doting on chicken caesar salad photos with hilarious commentary. It’s like Spike Jonze’s Her, “if ScarJo were a riblet,” reports the Atlantic.
Dzarsky has created a section of his Tumblr devout to his Applebee series. From conversations about what he should be for Halloween (“Batman?” suggests Applebee’s) to explaining that he’s been sober for 11 years (“Awesome!” says Applebee’s), Zdarsky has been getting to know the Applebee’s Barrie fanpage since May. He even created Melvin Zdarsky, a fake uncle profile based on a Photoshopped version of himself, to talk about his own food preferences. Even in stretched moments of etiquette, never has the fanpage crossed the line into rudeness, as the corporate management skills remain chipper. Same goes for Chip, the polite customer always knowing when to leave a thread alone.
Ever since this fiasco hit the news, the fanpage is obviously is brimming with Chip fans who want to play with Applebee’s, too. Chip (whose real name is Steve Murray) talks to us about how he got sucked into liking the fanpage more than anyone, even his ‘rents in Barrie.
VICE: Hi Chip. You missed a post on the Applebee’s Barrie fanpage on New Year’s Eve and people were commenting for you! Are you that much of an online regular?
Chip: I do tend to jump on the postings, yes. But recently my interactions with Applebee's took off enough for people to seek it out and ruin things a bit by name-checking me. It used to be manageable, where I could just email people individually and ask them to back off and not ruin this, as they sensed the switchblade in my hand. But that's over now.
When did this start?
I think I started posting in May. I had no idea that my hometown Applebee's had a Facebook page until one day I saw both of my parents 'like' a photo of a hamburger from it. I thought it was funny so I joined in, like one big happy family validating a city's chain restaurant. But then I got sucked in. I don't think my parents even posted there after I started.
That's almost nine months ago, what kept you going?
Well, it didn't really take any time to do, so it was pretty low-investment to keep doing it. At first it was to make my friends laugh, and then it became a game to try and get the person running the account to break from their playbook as often as possible. One of my Tumblr posts about it made the rounds and I saw people heading to the Facebook page to try and join in, which signaled the end nearing. Then the Buzzfeed thing happened and now the page is overrun with people asking about me. Seemed like a good time to end it.
Some people doubt that your uncle Mel exists, does he really exist and does he have specific food requests? Does he have any allergies?
No! He is entirely fictional. It's just my face photoshopped into an old man's head. I created him years ago as a cranky senior citizen character so I could write letters to the Toronto Sun. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can I ask why there is a red strikethrough of the Applebee's city name in that Buzzfeed article? Are you trying to protect them? If so, why?
Yeah, when Buzzfeed contacted me about this, I asked if they wouldn't mind censoring the name of the Applebee's. I kind of just wanted it to be a little tricky to find them so they wouldn't get flooded with people, ruining the experience. Sadly, that didn't work and it's pretty overrun with people right now. At least relative to the usual two or three people who post there.
If you gave a percentage, how much of what you are saying is true?
On the page? None of it is true, but all of it feels genuine. Does that make sense?
Do you know who is behind the fanpage? Do you care or is it inconsequential?
Because it's my hometown Applebee's, I've heard that it's a manager who works there that runs the account, but I don't know for certain. I would actually love to meet them. I think that would be fantastic. There's nothing mean-spirited in our interactions, so I think it would be okay.
Do you expect a free meal on your next visit to Applebee's?
With great prices like that, who needs it to be free?
Lastly, does this tie in any way to your latest comic book?
Ha! No, but we did give a name check to Applebee's on the cover of issue one's fourth printing (out this Wednesday!). This was before the Buzzfeed story so I'm sure it'll just rocket up in value now. Creators' pale, old faces AND an Applebee's reference? Look out, Spawn.