Quantcast
Channel: VICE CA
Viewing all 38002 articles
Browse latest View live

We Won a Whopping 13 Webbys This Year

$
0
0

Image by Lia Kantrowitz

April is Webbys season, so every year around this time we hope and pray that the Webby people will recognize all our stunning content from the past 12 months and bestow a silver spring of recognition upon us. We've won some Webbys in the past, and those awards now sit on a big shelf in the VICE office.

Sometimes, in the midst of a thoroughly awful day, we will sneak up to the Webby shelf and run a finger up an award's spiraling metal, thinking to ourselves, You see? Someone noticed, someone cared. Then we slink back to our desks, feeling somehow more rejuvenated.

Well, we're going to have to get a bigger shelf, because this year, VICE took home a staggering 13 Webbys. Seven of those were awarded by the fine judges at the Webby Awards, naming VICE.com the best cultural site online, among other things. The other six awards are almost more exciting, though, because they were People's Voice awards—that means that all of you out there in cyberspace like us, and that really warms our hearts.

You can check out the whole official announcement over at the Webbys site, but here's a quick TL;DR.

VICE.com won a Webby Award and a People's Voice Award for best cultural blog/website. i-D also won a Webby and People's Voice for best fashion and beauty website. Broadly won a Webby for best lifestyle website, and its video The Power Suit won another one for best online fashion and beauty film.

VICE Germany's video, Room for Rent, won a People's Voice for best online news and politics film. Virtue's YouTube Music Awards won both a Webby and a People's Voice for best video channel in the music category.

Finally, Motherboard won a whopping four awards. Its video, Cloning the Wooly Mammoth, won a Webby and a People's Voice for best online science and education film. Another Motherboard video, The Dawn of the Killer Robots, was awarded both a Webby and a People's Voice in the best online tech film category.

Thank you, valued VICE readers, for clicking and sharing and reading and voting. We couldn't have done it without you. We will think of you all fondly as we stare up at our rows of gleaming silver springs for the next year.


The VICE Guide to the 2016 Election: It's Now Pretty Much Impossible for Republicans to Stop Trump

$
0
0

This week, the Republicans trying to stop Donald Trump from winning the presidential nomination and taking over their party went to new lengths to signal just how much they hate the real estate mogul. On Sunday night, Ohio Governor John Kasich and Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced they were entering into an alliance in order to stop Trump from picking up the 1,237 delegates he needs to get the nomination on the convention's first ballot. This was immediately blasted as coming too late, a weak last-ditch effort to throw the Trump train off track, and the next few days have demonstrated just how far the Cruz/Kasich team is behind.

First, Trump finally passed the 50 percent threshold of support among right-leaning voters in the polls—something he hadn't been able to pull off with a divided field until now. Then he won all five of Tuesday's primaries, earning over 50 percent of the vote in Pennsylvania, Maryland, Rhode Island, Delaware, and Connecticut. Although it was known going into Tuesday that he would win, his margins of victory exceeded expectations. He even surpassed Mitt Romney in votes won in a Republican primary—making him, by that measure at least, the most popular GOP candidate in modern history. Seriously.

At a glossy press conference, held, as usual, in Manhattan's Trump Tower, the billionaire businessman did not miss the opportunity to pat himself on the back. "I am so honored," he said. "This to me was our biggest night." He added later, "I consider myself the presumptive nominee."

That's not one of the candidate's trademark exaggerations—according to the Wall Street Journal, he needs to win around 56 percent of the remaining bound delegates to get to 1,237, which seems eminently doable, especially since several of the remaining primaries are winner take all.

Still, in a high school gym in Indiana, whose winner-take-most primary next Tuesday could be the anti-Trump's movement's last stand, Cruz was defiant as ever. "The media is going to have heart palpitations this evening," he said. "Tonight, this campaign moves back to more favorable terrain."

But even his own base may be abandoning that idea.

In an endless stream of polls, a majority of voters now say that the candidate with the most delegates going into the convention in Cleveland this summer should be the nominee, which at this point means Trump. It's no wonder that Trump has drawn more voters while labeling the nomination process as "rigged"—the Republican base wants this to be over, and it thinks, as Trump does, that whoever gets the most votes and most delegates should get the chance to face the Democrats (which likely means Hillary Clinton) in a general election.

Without 1,237 delegates in hand, no candidate can win the nomination on the first ballot, but allowing Cruz to take the prize from Trump on a second or third ballot at an open convention would be politically risky. Already, rank-and-file voters distrust the Republican Establishment, and the appearance of a bunch of elites screwing over the campaign's most popular candidate could cause an outright revolt that might damage the party as much, or even more, than backing Trump.

At the same time, putting Trump on the ticket could have serious, lasting consequences on the GOP brand. He is hated by two thirds of Americans, and reports of him acting more "presidential" of late appear to have been greatly exaggerated. On Tuesday night, Trump dismissed Clinton's appeal as being based on her gender, saying, "And frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she'd get five percent of the vote." Then there's the matter of his court appearance in the Trump University case, in which his real estate seminar is accused of being a scam. It was scheduled for the first day of the convention on Tuesday.

In other words, things are looking pretty good for the Democrats.

This is a Republican crisis to remember: Choose Trump, and hope he doesn't lose you Congress? Or ditch Trump, and pray that he and his supporters don't raise up in revolt? After Tuesday night, however, it's clear that there's a third possibility: Trump could just take the nomination through sheer popularity and leave the GOP without a choice.

Follow John Surico on Twitter.

Bangladesh Needs to Sort Out Its Rampant Machete Attack Problem

$
0
0

The bodies of Xulhaaz Mannan and Tanay Majumdar, who were hacked to death, are brought down from Mannan's apartment in Dhaka on April 25, 2016. Photo by Sony Ramany/NurPhoto via Getty Images

After a lull of several months, machete killings of writers, editors, and academics have returned to Bangladesh. On Monday, 35-year-old Xulhaz Mannan, the editor of the country's only LGBT magazine, Roopbaan, was hacked to death in his apartment in the upscale Kalabangan neighborhood of the capital city, Dhaka. The reported five or six attackers gained entry into the apartment by posing as couriers. Mannan worked at USAID and launched the magazine in 2014 to promote LGBT rights and visibility in the predominantly Islamic nation, where homosexuality remains a criminal offense.

A friend of Mannan's, an openly gay activist and local actor, Tanay Majumder, or "Tonoy" to friends, was also killed in the attack. In 2014, the two men organized the country's first "Rainbow Rally" to fight for LBGT rights and acceptance, though this year the event was canceled on orders from police, who cited security concerns.

Hardline Islamists continue to feel emboldened in Bangladesh, where the ruling party, though nominally secular, actively courts fringe religious elements to bolster its electoral support. The attack comes only two days after the murder of Rezaul Karim Siddique, a 58-year-old English professor who was hacked to death by men carrying machetes as he walked home from the bus station in the provincial city of Rajshahi. ISIS claimed responsibility for Siddique's death, accusing him of atheism. His daughter strongly disputed the charge, and she said she had no idea why he was targeted, as he was not an outspoken secularist, either in print or on social media.

This new spate of killings started earlier this month, when 28-year-old law student Nazimuddin Samad was hacked with machetes and then shot, reportedly for his social media activism on behalf of secularism. The latest murders mark a sudden escalation after the killings of several prominent bloggers and activists in 2015, including the October 31 murder of the publisher Faisal Deepan, who was also hacked to death in his office by a group of young men wielding machetes. The killers still have not been caught.

The global media response to the resurgence in extremist violence against writers, activists, and intellectuals in general has been predictably strong. In Bangladesh, following Siddique's murder, a scathing editorial appeared in the Dhaka Tribune, accusing the government of failing to stop the killings and "appeasing supporters by pointing fingers at victims and feeding the mind-set that people need to watch what they say and write, or suffer the consequences."

The ruling Awami League Party continues to send mixed messages: condemning the murders but refusing to come to a full-throated defense of Bangladesh's founding secular principles. As recently as April 14, a week after Samad was hacked to death, Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina said that "offending religious sentiments shows a perverted mind-set." On the day of the killing itself, Home Minister Asaduzzaman Khan said he would investigate "to see whether has written anything objectionable in his blogs."

Though Sheikh Hasina went on to condemn the killing, her conciliatory statements, along with others from her government, have contributed to a rising sense of impunity among those fringe Islamist elements, which are largely believed to be behind the murders. It has also led many to question her government's commitment not only to preventing future attacks but to bringing to justice the killers currently on the loose.

The Bangladeshi American writer and secular-rights activist Mahmud Rahman characterized Hasina's comments as essentially "the government giving a green light to targeting already marginalized people in the society." Terror attacks by homegrown Islamist extremists in Bangladesh date back to the 1990s, and recent claims by ISIS of their involvement, whether or not true, mask a larger issue: Bangladesh's murky relationship between terror and politics. While the current government maintains that it is committed to the ideal of a secular nation, it has continued to court hardline Islamist votes by arresting so-called atheist bloggers and often failing to sufficiently protect those currently under threat of murder.

On VICE News: A Crime Unpunished: Bangladeshi Gang Rape:

Only hours after the murders of Mannan and Majumdar, at a party meeting in Gonobhaban, Sheikh Hasina laid the blame for the killings with her political opposition, the Bangladesh National Party and Jamaat-e-Islami. "They have been burning people dead and committing other terrorist acts to destabilize the country from the time of the last general election," according to her press secretary Ihsanul Karim.

But, as the editorial in the Dhaka Tribune argued, the time for pointing fingers is over. "It doesn't matter whether they are from transnational terrorist groups like IS as they have claimed, or part of locally based militant networks, as the government argues," the editorial read. "What matters is that such fanatics are targeting individuals in Bangladesh to be slaughtered in public in cold blood. And they are acting with impunity. They are murderers who need to be brought to justice."

What's especially scary about these new killings, as Mahmud Rahman pointed out to me, is that they potentially represent a broadening of the targets. No longer is it just so-called atheist bloggers, but also members of the liberal elite of Dhaka, as well as provincial professors who seemed to have no connection to the broader call for strengthening secular voices in the public sphere. Now it seems almost any marginal voice in Bangladesh, whether an intellectual or activist, is a potential target. If this sudden spike in murders is an indication of things to come, the continued failure of the government's defense of minorities and secularism will only mean a descent into a widening cycle of violence and terror, an outcome only the extremists would welcome.

Follow Ranbir Singh Sidu for Twitter.

The VICE Guide to Right Now: Alberta Blames Social Media for Syphilis and Gonorrhea Outbreak

$
0
0


Just moments after it went down in the DM (photo via Flickr user Anya Belova)

Alberta is facing outbreak levels of sexually transmitted infections: Last year in the Canadian province, gonorrhea was up 80 percent from the previous year, and syphilis infections rates doubled. So, obviously, the Alberta government blamed on the spike in STIs on social media.

"We believe one of the key drivers in this particular spike in STIs is due to the use of social media to set up sexual encounters," said Dr. Karen Grimsrud, the Alberta Chief Medical Officer of Health, during a press conference.

Though Alberta has seen an increase across the board with STIs, gonorrhea and syphilis are of particular concern. Edmonton and Calgary have the highest rates of infection throughout the province for both. In 2015, there were 82 gonorrhea cases per every 100,000 Albertan, breaking peak infection rates set in the late 1980s. Over 350 cases of syphilis were also reported last year, surpassing a historic rate of infection set in 2009.

We have a feeling the Alberta government would be pretty freaked out if it knew about the concept of sliding into DMs.

"We will be using Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever else comes along more intensely than we have... If we can identify the websites people are going to hook up, then we can target," said Dr. Gerry Predy, senior medical officer of health for Alberta Health Services (AHS).

While the Alberta government identified the holy trinity of popular social media sites, they declined to mention dating apps such as the massive human petri dish Tinder, where people are much more likely to be looking for randoms to fuck rather than recent photos of old high school friends.


The Alberta government's apparent answer to rampant STIs (screenshot via Sexgerms.com)

In order to target aforementioned millennial internet sex fiends, the Alberta government set up the delicately worded Sexgerms.com. In addition to providing important info about accessing health services and the like, it allows you to push a button and generate a fake STI name on some sort of deranged slot machine-like tool: "Have you heard about dickgitis? What about vagfluenza, scrotoma or buttholiosis? If you haven't, it's ok. There aren't a whole slew of new STIs for you to be worried about. Just new strains of the ones we've all come to know and fear."

Though they hope Sexgerms.com will encourage people to talk about STIs, we're not sure the word "poonereptus" is exactly a conversation starter.

Follow Allison Elkin on Twitter.

We Asked Drone Enthusiasts to Defend Their Flying Death Machines

$
0
0

It's weird, isn't it? Here we were thinking that nuclear war or cyber terrorism or hyper-resistant Ebola was going to herald the end of civilization when it turns out all we should really have been worried about are little remote control cars that fly. In the past few years, drones have ushered in a new era of random killings, as well as massively undermining privacy.

In the UK, the drone situation is becoming more acute by the day. Recently a British Airways plane appeared to hit a drone during its descent into Heathrow. There have been similar incidents reported at City Airport, Gatwick, Stansted, and Manchester over recent years.

There are now increasing calls to ban public drones, and indeed a ban was briefly enacted when President Obama visited the UK earlier this month. Others believe we are now past a simple ban and have touted the use of "death-ray" devices to potentially obliterate handcrafted drones flying near airports.

With so much negative press, it's difficult to work out what exactly is the point of drones. When they're not attempting to give planes engine failure, flying drugs into prisons, or guiding missiles to strike civilian targets, do they have a nice side? I spoke to a couple of drone enthusiasts, and one concerned air traffic controller, to see if any of them could successfully defend these flying death machines.

First up, Ethan Kerswell of Extreme Fliers, a drone company that first reached public attention on Dragon's Den.


Ethan's husband and Extreme Fliers co-founder, Vernon, flying Micro Drone 3.0. Photo by Ethan Kerswell

VICE: Imagine that the government bans all drones tomorrow. What would happen to the world?
Ethan: That would actually be huge. Drones have changed people's lives, not just in terms of personal entertainment. They are the future when it comes to government research, videos, photography, education, fuel, Amazon Prime air delivery, and rescue services, to name a few. If an ambulance is stuck in traffic, a drone could potentially save a life. They could potentially see us saving a lot of money on postage and fuel. There is no limit for technology and ideas. It would be difficult to ban them.

What's the best thing you've done with a drone?
A few years ago, no one knew what a drone was. Vernon was in Washington, DC, doing some filming outside the White House on a mini drone. A security guard caught him in the act. He assumed Vernon was a spy. But then he just started asking him questions about it, like where and when he would be able to buy one.

Can flying a drone make you feel good about yourself?
The first time you fly a drone, you feel amazing. These days you can use a virtual reality headset while you're flying it, such as a 3D $15 Google Cardboard. It's as if you are flying with the birds, just on another level of feeling.

Next, I spoke to the guy behind the Facebook Group UK Drone Racing, Johnny Finnerty, for his thoughts on why humanity needs drones.

Photo by Johnny Finnerty

VICE: Tell me about your Facebook page.
Johnny: I have a drone track in Leicester where people race. We build our drones from scratch so that when they inevitably get smashed up, we can easily repair them. Our motto is built not bought. I'm an electrical engineer.

So what do you and your group's members think of drone restrictions?
At the moment, regulation is good but needs revisiting. People still don't know the rules. The Dutch government was looking at using trained eagles to bring down drones. It is ridiculous and absolutely absurd to start using animals to take out flying machinery. UK councils are starting litigations to try and ban flying drones in particular areas, despite the fact they may not actually rule the land. Personally, I don't want a drone hovering in my back garden. But I would never fly my drone anywhere near my house. We have a designated area to fly drones safely.

How can drones change the world for the better?
I want to take kids off their PlayStations and put them in a field to experience this amazing, new technology.

That's all very well, but what about someone who has to deal with drones on a daily basis? I spoke to Paul Beauchamp, who works for air traffic control organization NATS, about drones, danger, and aviation.

Photo via kov-A-c

VICE: Air traffic control is, in part, responsible for the safe landing of airplanes. What risks do drones pose?
Paul Beauchamp: From an air traffic control point of view, they're not something we can see on radar. They're sort of invisible to us, which is an issue. Another issue is that no one quite knows what impact a drone would have on an aircraft's engine. Precautions must be taken.

You mentioned precautions. If a pilot reports a drone sighting to air traffic control, what precautionary measures do you take?
As drones are not on radar, it is our job to warn all other aircrafts in the vicinity about the sighting. We may have to stop arrivals or departures until it had a chance to be investigated, including by police. You are looking at quite a lot of disruption, really.

What lessons can drone users learn from the recent report of a near collision at Heathrow?
Drones are an exciting new technology. But people need to understand that when they fly drones, they have the same responsibilities as a conventional pilot. There are rules and regulations to follow. The trouble is, a lot of people do not know they exist. You would have thought there was no need to tell someone to fly a drone in the vicinity of an airport.

What It’s Really Like to Spend Time in a Canadian Prison

$
0
0


Photo via Flickr user Henry Hagnäs

I'd heard the horror stories about prison. I'd seen the TV shows, movies, and news reports about the rampant violence, race-based wars, and sexual abuse that occurs behind the walls. I heard the advice from friends on how to survive in jail. Some say to find the biggest guy on a range (what inmates call a cell block) and pick a fight with him immediately. Some say to keep your head down and stick to yourself. Some say to go into protective custody. But above all, don't drop the soap. So when I spoke to my lawyer for the first time and heard I was facing over two years in prison, I was scared—two years and over in Canada means time in a federal penitentiary.

I was 5'9", weighed less than 160 pounds, and was overall a very docile person. I didn't know how I'd make it two years in the pen. The Crown offered me an olive branch and I turned it down because, above all, there was the cardinal rule—don't snitch.

So I sat there for 12 months in pretrial detention at Elgin-Middlesex Detention Centre (EMDC). The Crown argued that since the police were still looking for more accomplices, and that I mainly worked unsupervised from a company truck for my job, there was a risk I could compromise the police's investigation. During my time there, EMDC gained a lot of public notoriety, and became the subject of a class-action lawsuit (full disclosure: I'm a member of the suit) for civil-rights violations and deplorable living conditions. It was a place where no cameras existed (this has changed since my time, though), and lockdowns were a near-daily occurrence. For the first four weeks I sat in the exact same spot day-in and day-out, staring at the reflection through a cell-door window to make sure nobody would sneak up behind me.

I was out of my element—a nerdy-looking, brown-skinned 24-year-old whom everybody believed was in for some petty crime. Nobody talked to me except to measure me up and see if they could try and punk me. Until they found out I was in for doing a home invasion on an alleged drug dealer and that, no matter what, I was going "down below," as the inmates say in reference to federal time.

Then the former pen-timers took notice and took me under their wing. They liked me because I was quiet, respectful, and didn't get involved in anybody's business. They told me that the pen was full of guys like me—mature men who just want to do their own time. They told me that nobody ever really gets raped in jail because the general population looks down on it like they look down on a man raping a woman—except the victim would probably get beat down too. They told me that, typically, the "heavies" (prison versions of bullies) don't last in the pen because nobody will tolerate them. They told me to have the utmost respect for lifers because they have nothing to lose, but not to trust them either for the same reason. They told me if I could stay out of trouble, my time would fly by.

They also emphasized that it was no joke either. I would be a short-timer but I'd be living among dangerous offenders and lifers. I would need to stand up for myself if it came down to it. They told me to avoid the politics, the drugs, and gambling, because that's when people get stabbed. I tried to beat my charges and lost, and in the end I went from facing two years to being sentenced to five.

The day the COs (corrections officers) in EMDC told me to pack my shit, I was nervous. I was comfortable on my range "at the London bucket"—I was the second-most senior inmate on my range at the time. I no longer had to ask to use the phone, and I got extra food from the servers if I wanted. Everybody knew my name, who my family was, and that I was solid. The COs called me a survivor, because I never checked into protective custody or ever had to switch ranges, and did all that without ever having to raise a fist.

So when I got to Millhaven Institution's Assessment Unit in Bath, Ontario, I felt like I was starting over again. Right out of the gate it was culture shock. My tattoo was photographed and sent to the Security Intelligence Officer to investigate any gang ties. They had me write down any emergency contacts they might need to know. They instantly put $80 of my personal money on hold until my release—but I knew that would happen. Months before, I asked a former pen-timer why they did it, and he chuckled and said, "For your body bag."

Walking down the wide corridor towards my new unit, I could see COs behind bulletproof glass with assault rifles slung over their shoulders, and small gun-ports in the glass. My range in assessment unit was merely a long hallway with steel, electric sliding doors on either wall. A control room with gun ports in the glass overlooked the hallway; it reminded me of a gun range.


Photo via Flickr user Joshua Davis

I was told that Assessment was purposefully designed to be stressful, to find an inmate's breaking point and see exactly what level of security he needed. I spent every day in 22-hour lockdown with a cellmate. We got 20 minutes every two days to use the phone and/or shower, which 40 other guys were trying to use at the same time.

But we also had an hour-and-a-half yard time every day. During the week our yard time was at night, and since I hadn't set foot outside at night in over a year, I barely ever missed a chance. My first time going to yard in Millhaven (on a Saturday, so we got it in the morning) I felt slightly agoraphobic. At EMDC only 60 inmates were allowed out at a time in an octagonal concrete yard in the centre of the jail itself. Here at Millhaven I set foot on grass for the first time in 12 months, and was surrounded by hundreds of other inmates. Once I found some people from EMDC who knew me, I felt normal again.

I could also open the window in my cell—my first night there I wrote my mother and told her I could actually hear crickets. I could also switch on and off my own light, and own a TV in my cell. Almost every day I would just lay down on my bunk, write my novel and watch TV.

Millhaven wasn't just a jail for guys to be assessed on their security level, it was also the institution where maximum-security inmates lived. Over on J-Unit—the long-term custody side of Millhaven—riots happened almost every week, and I could smell the tear gas leaking through my vents. I woke up every Friday morning to the sounds of gunshots at the firing range.

After 90 days I was classified medium security, and approved placement at Fenbrook Institution—one of the best institutions to be placed in Ontario. From what I heard, it was basically the medium-security joint that was more like a minimum-security institution.

When the COs came and told me to pack my shit I was nervous, because I was comfortable there, and had to start all over again.

I was also very anxious to see what was next for me. For 90 days I was only allowed out of my cell to shower and walk in a counterclockwise circle out in the yard. The only time I was allowed out of my cell during the day was to grab my food, or have appointments with staff members of almost every profession except for the guards. I received several stacks of paper that detailed almost every aspect of my life and gave it a point rating to determine my security level. They knew who I was, who I interacted with, and what I wanted and needed. They asked me if I wanted to keep the papers on me or put them in storage, and I chose to keep them. Partly because I was amazed at the functionality of CSC's OMS—Offender Management System. But mainly as my "paperwork" in the pen, it was proof to any cellmate I might have that I wasn't a rat, child abuser, or sex offender.

The way I saw it, the hardest part of my time in prison was over. And I would be a damn fool to screw anything up and be transferred to a worse prison, or J-Unit. And given what I had just experienced and what I witnessed when it came to the vast network of professions, I felt like federal time, in an ironic way, deserved its term "down below." It was nothing like a provincial jail in Ontario—it was more like an alternate society living on the outskirts of Canadian cities, uniquely different to civilian life or military life.

Like I said, I thought the hardest part of my time in prison was over.

The first in a three-part series.

​Uber Drivers Tell Us About Their Worst Customers

$
0
0



Few things are more comforting when drunk than the glow of an Uber driver's map. All photos by author

Uber is a mixed blessing. It provides for quick, cheap rides from school to work, work to home, or your favourite bar to the house of that person you drunkenly messaged on Tinder Saturday night. While the Canadian battle between the taxi industry and app-based ride services continues to remain muddled in terms of what's fair and ethical, one thing is extremely clear: Uber is sweeping the market with unimpeded ease.

With a greater demand for Uber rides has come a bigger opening for Uber drivers. Thanks to practically non-existent background checks and flimsy regulation in Toronto, everyone from your grandma to your pot dealer is driving Uber in their spare time. It's easy money, but that also comes at the risk of getting stuck with shitty passengers (even 4.7 passengers can be a 1 star sometimes) when drivers get bombarded by anonymous orders that pop on their phone.

While the most lucrative times for an Uber driver are during hours where prices surge—such as rush hour or when there's a transportation disaster—the constant hotspot for ride requests is on the weekend, when we're all too drunk or disorganized to bother taking transit. To find out what it's like to be on the receiving end of the equation, we asked Uber drivers in Toronto about their worst customers.

October, 35
You're an Uber Black driver. I assume you get some pretty interesting clients?
You would think, yeah? But no. It's people with money to spend—not people with money. Sometimes kiddies get money from mommy and daddy and take for their friends to party in. Some people just want a big ride to themselves. These aren't necessarily rich people.

But you must have some bougie clients.
During the day, yes. People on Bay St. don't like rolling out of their office meetings or whatever they're at in a poor man's sedan. Many times it's on the company's tab.

Tell me about your shittiest Uber customer.
Yesterday. Some guy had asked me that I drive him to a number of locations over a two hour period, which is fine, that's something I can do. But he assumed that when we stopped, I would just shut off my fare and wait for him. Like, a personal chauffeur paid by the hour. When I finally dropped him off, the bill hit his email and was something like $400. He absolutely lost it and wouldn't leave. He kept yelling, "Fix it! Fix it. I'm not paying this."

What'd you do?
I told him there was nothing I could do and that the app automatically accumulates fare based on distance, the surge he agreed to, and time spent. I also told him that I needed to get to another customer, but he wouldn't get out of the car. He told me to call my manager—like I fucking have one—and then he threatened to report me to the police. I just parked the car and asked him repeatedly to leave. He finally got out, but not before slamming my door and taking a video of me and my license plate.

Jesus Christ. Do you think it's worth the stress?
Well, I made a few hundred dollars off two hours of driving. I would say yes. I have anxiety meds for this sort of thing.

Rikael, 48
You're kind of old, aren't you? Not that Uber drivers aren't typically old, but I feel like you've seen more shit.
Uh, yeah. I used to be a driver for , and I am no idiot, so I went to Uber. I had really bad experiences as a taxi driver, not as much with Uber.

But you've had some, surely?
I've had fewer, but the worst ones? They are with Uber.

Is it the millennials? How do you feel about driving around drunk teens?
They are not always the worst. They are just loud, it can be hard to bear their yelling and a lot of them want to talk to you the whole ride when they're drunk, or can be very rude. I think many of them understand Uber more and treat . They have jobs. They are not what you'd imagine them to be.

Tell me about your worst ride.
OK. I picked someone up from Pearson Airport who wanted to go back to Hamilton, so it was a long ride. This person, I don't know where they had come from or if they were new to so they could urinate.

Did you do it?
No! I told them I would get a ticket and that I would bring them to a gas station, and then they started saying that because they had paid me, I should do whatever I told him to do. I brought him to the nearest gas station and told him to leave. He was angry but he got out of the car, and I cancelled the trip.

That's OG. You don't take no shit from anybody, eh?
I am a peaceful person, but I was raised with respect for myself.

Rylie, 29
How much do you like driving Uber?
It's a mixed bag. I try to only drive during the morning when everyone's trying to get to work and the surge is high, and around rush hour when it's the same sort of deal except people are trying to get home and don't want to talk to you.

So I'm assuming you aren't a fan of Friday night drunks?
It's where a large portion of the money's at so I have to do it, but I hate it. Yeah, I don't like it, that's fair to say.

What's your worst Uber experience been like?
I actually got propositioned by one of my passengers for a threesome.

That doesn't sound horrible.
Well, it was, because they were basically finger-banging in the back of my car—two older women—and then they asked if I wanted to join, and the destination was so far, so I told them no and I had to focus on the road but I really just didn't want to at all. I kept asking them to stop, and they just kept giggling and doing whatever it was they were, y'know, going at it back there. I tried to ignore it, but they were full on moaning so it was kind of uncomfortable. I was in an irritated mood, otherwise I might have found it kind of funny.

Did you get them to stop?
Nah dog, they were on it the whole ride. I was driving really fast on the highway and turned the music up, but I'm dead sure that just turned them on more. I dropped them off at their place and they slipped me a number on a piece of rolling paper—very ratchet stuff. I'm from Scarborough and I haven't seen freak shit like that in public. I think they stained my back seat so I got it scrubbed.

Zena, 20
You drive Uber in your mom's car. How does she feel about that?
It's extra cash! She never cares what I'm doing with the car, as long as I'm not drinking and driving or having sex in it, so it works out. I get really bored on the weekends or when I'm not at school. I'll probably be doing a lot more in the summer.

Do you enjoy it?
I take Uber pretty often so I know what people, around our age and stuff, want out of a driver. You gotta have the AUX cable and good tunes, and be conversational. I like it because I get to meet a lot of cool people.

Have you had a bad Uber ride before?
I actually did just a few weeks ago when I picked up my ex from a restaurant where he had his date.

Wait, seriously?
Yep. Yep. It was horrible. I really don't like this guy—we just left on a really bad note, worse than I usually leave with my exes. He got in and immediately started stuttering and looking at his phone. His date didn't know what was going on.

Did you confront him in front of his date?
Nope, but I looove to torture people mentally, so I kept dropping subtle hints as I made conversation with them. Just little references to our past and really tried to poke fun at them being on a date in a non-aggressive way. When they got out, I got a text from him twenty minutes later. Like, a really long paragraph and it was just all over the place. He was sorry but also angry and then he said that we shouldn't talk until after his date was gone. Like, sorry bud, I didn't want to talk to you anyway.

What'd you do after you dropped him off?
I actually did a few hours more of driving to blow off steam. The nice thing is that I can decline rides when I want to, and there's nothing like flying down the highway with the Rolling Stones blasting to just let it go.

Jawan, 23
How long have you been driving Uber for?
Since I started my second year of university. About two years.

Why did you start driving Uber?
I'm a real jackass while driving because I just love going fast and listening to good music. I would rather be driving than going to a party or something—it's just for me and I figured I should get paid for doing it.

What's the worst experience you've had driving Uber?
There was this guy who told me that he had to be at the train station —but that I still need to get him there on time.

That sounds annoying. What happened?
OK but wait, that's not even the worst of it. So I pick up his friend—some girl, I think she must have been 10 or 12 younger than him and he was, like, 40 or some shit—and she gets in the car totally messed up. She was drunk enough that would normally make me cancel the ride, because chances are someone will throw up or die in your car and I don't need that noise. So, whatever, I am driving them to Union , I still have five minutes to spare, but out of nowhere I get pulled over. Now I'm like, "What the fuck?" And the guy in the back is like, "What the fuck! I'm going to miss my train."

Why did the cop pull you over?
Just hold on because this is where I lost it. The cop comes up and says, "Are you an Uber?" and I don't know what to say because I know it's not technically legal, so I just say, "Uh, I don't know." The cop just tells me he doesn't care, but he wants my passengers to get out of the car and for me to shut the car off. I have no idea what's happening now, but I just go ahead and flip the car off. The guy in the back is now saying he "can't believe this," and I'm just thinking, "Fuck this man to hell and back."

The cop wanted the passengers?
Yep, and right when that happened, the girl is getting out, and she throws up. All over my fucking door. It's leather interior and it got in all the nooks of the door and stunk terribly, just awful. She must have ate and drank. Then the cop goes over and said, "Ma'am, we were told that you skipped out on a bill. Did you pay your tab?" She starts mumbling and the cop could tell she's messed up, so they just detained her on the spot.

What happened to you and the other guy?
The cop told us we could go, but he was pissed because he missed his train and his friend—or girlfriend—got taken by the cops, so he just slammed my door and said he would walk. I got a one-star rating, which fucked me up and I had to call Uber to fix it.

You still drive though?
Definitely. The girl ended up having to pay for my cleaning.

Follow Jake Kivanc on Twitter.



How to Tell When Statistics Are Bullshit

$
0
0

It's basically impossible to illustrate a story about statistics with anything other than weird 90s business stock–imagery. This one's called "Statistics, Transparency, Company" via.

In this world of competing and confusing numbers, More or Less, a statistics show hosted by Tim Harford, is a small oasis of mathematical rigor in a sea of endless numerical bullshit.

Here's a good example of what they do well. Recently they looked at the issue of shared parental leave. A year ago, the law changed on maternity and paternity leave in the UK to allow eligible couples to share parental leave between partners. This was a big policy for the government, and a year on a survey was conducted to find out how many fathers had taken up the option. Here's how the Telegraph reported it:

"On the first anniversary of a revolutionary policy that gives men the opportunity to care full time for their new baby, a new study reveals that just 1% of men have so far taken up the opportunity to do so... reasons for the reluctance include it being 'financially unworkable ', 'a lack of awareness,' and 'women (55%) refusing to share their maternity leave.'"

The Guardian, BBC News, and others reported the story in much the same way. But when the staff at More or Less looked into the story, they found the survey was conducted in a way that is close to insanity. It turned out that it wasn't 1 percent of new fathers who were eligible for shared parental leave who took it, but 1 percent of all men in the workforce, whether they had fathered a child in the past year or not. They found that even if every man who was eligible for shared parental leave had taken it, that overall figure would only have been 5 percent.

All of this is more relevant now than ever before, because most news operations are 24-hour rolling cycles, where press releases, particularly those from official-sounding bodies, may be posted unchecked. The shared parental-leave story ended up being analyzed by politicians and comment writers, and everything they were saying was based on utter, utter bullshit. And that's just traditional news sources. Increasingly, we are getting our information from Facebook memes and social media, and those statistics are even less verified.

More or Less, as well as doing some more whimsical stuff like "How long would it take to ride to the moon on a number 8 bus?", delves into the statistics that are bandied about by newspapers and politicians and tries to find out where they come from. I spoke to its host, statistics bad boy and Financial Times writer Tim Harford, to find out what we should be looking for when we see stats in the news.

VICE: The word "statistics" has a bad reputation. They are often seen as the most boring part of a news story. Why should we care about them?
Tim: Statistics are a very important way of understanding the world. There are sixty to sixty-five million people in the UK. There are seven billion people in the world. You can't get a picture of what's happening purely by anecdote. You need to see what the numbers actually say—whether you're trying to understand the doctors strike, inequality, health stories, the financial crisis, environmental change, anything really. Statistics will tell you things you can't learn any other way. One of the things that we do on More or Less is to ask quite simple questions that other people could ask but don't.

This one is called "Silhouettes Businessmen Man Woman Businessman" via.

OK, so when you see a news story with a lot of statistics in, what are the sort of things that might raise a red flag?
I think there's a basic reality check you can do on most statistical claims. You can just ask: Does that sound reasonable? For example, somebody was tweeting me saying, "Apparently we throw away millions of disposable coffee cups every day, can this be true?" And I figured, well, I don't go out and count them personally, but even if it were six million, that would mean that ten percent of the population throws away a disposable coffee cup every day. Is it likely that ten percent of the population goes to Starbucks, buys a coffee, and then throws it away? Yeah, that sounds about right.

When I replied, she said, "Well that's a shocking waste." I thought, But is it? A lot of things times sixty million are going to seem like big numbers. It's not that difficult.

So are there certain big numbers, like the number of adults in the UK or the total UK public spending, that are worth keeping in our heads, so when we see stories that have big numbers in, we can provide some context?
The thing is, it's not very hard to check. A lot of this stuff you can find really quickly. If you've got Google, you can often find a proper fact-check of a claim that you doubt quite quickly from organizations that devote themselves to independent fact-checking, such as Full Fact. Or Snopes, who look at urban myths, the sort of statistics you might see on Facebook.

What does a statistical urban myth look like?
Well, for example, with the EU referendum, there's one going around saying that the EU has a twenty-seven thousand word memo on the regulation of cabbages, as a way of showing that it's a big unnecessary bureaucracy. And Snopes very simply lays it out and explains that story started in America in the 1940s and has been doing the rounds ever since. It's never been true.

If all this information is widely available, why do you think we are still misled by statistics in news stories?
I think we instinctively reject the statistics that were made by people we perceive to be political opponents, and accept the ones that chime with our view of the world. I saw a graphic on Instagram, I think it was from the Washington Post, which should know better, and it was about support for some aspect of gay rights. I can't remember the details, but it was showing that support for gay marriage is increasing in the US. And for me, that's wonderful news, I'm very pro-gay rights, so I just retweeted that. Then someone replied and said, "Have you seen the axis on that graph?" I looked, and the first two dots were twenty years apart. Then the next dot was two years further on. It was just a very dodgy graph. I hadn't checked. It would have taken about five seconds for me to have a proper look at that graph, but I just retweeted it, because it said something that I emotionally responded to, and that's just what we do.

Bullshit circulates at a higher velocity than it's ever circulated before.


Is the amount of statistics available on the internet a problem? Even when you have very good sources, it sometimes feels as if you get competing facts. That wealth of information can sometimes feel as though it's having a negative impact on trying to find the truth.
I think as with anything, the internet makes it very easy to drown in low quality noise if you're not careful, but it also makes it easier than ever to find high quality analysis. It used to be quite hard to find out things like development trends—what's happening to child mortality, for example—but now you can just click and download the data. You can see academics in the area blogging and analyzing. It's much easier to get really good, solid analysis than it ever was, but obviously bullshit circulates at a higher velocity than it's ever circulated before.

This one doesn't have a name, but I'm going to call it "Those Trends Are HUGE" via.

In terms of the years you've been doing the show, are there particular cases where statistics have been incredibly misleading that stick out to you?
In health and nutrition journalism, you see single studies given a lot of prominence, when in most cases there will have been hundreds of studies, and some new study doesn't overturn all the studies that have already been done. So often you'll see the new study reported as a sudden new truth.

In the field of politics, I think the issue is that often politicians are very good at making statements that are true but not helpful, or are a bit misleading. There's a situation where one side of the debate is yelling this not very useful number, people on the other side of the debate are rejecting it out of hand, and the fact-checker in the middle is in a tricky situation because the details are a bit complicated and weigh people down.

What if we want to be that fact-checker? What should we ask?
OK, so first, if you've been given a number, just ask: compared to what? What was it last year, what was it five years ago, what was it ten years ago? What was it under a previous government? What is it in other countries? Is it going up or down? Does it go up and down all the time? So just a bit of context.

The second thing is—what does the statistic actually refer to? If you see a claim that inequality is up, there are lots of things you could be unequal about, notably: wealth, income, consumption. It can be measured in different ways. You can measure the share of the top 1 percent, or you can measure something called the GE coefficient. There are lots of different ways of doing it, so just ask yourself when this claim is being made, what is actually being said.

A couple of weeks ago you looked at the Oxfam report on wealth, which said just sixty-two people have an equal level of wealth to the poorest half of the world. But you said wealth might not be a very useful figure here, because someone on a $1 a day actually has more wealth than a banker in millions of dollars of debt.
Wealth tells you a lot about the people with a lot of wealth, but not about people with not much wealth. Levels of income can tell you more, and there's an argument that says levels of consumption are even more informative. Let's say you're a banker, you have a good income, you decide to switch firms, and you're put on garden leave for a year, so you've got no income. How do you spot that, statistically? Well actually it's very easy: look at consumption. If someone's spending lots, then he or she is comfortably off, even if his or her actual income is low temporarily. So for that reason, the IFS, in a lot of its work, will look at consumption rather than income. There's no single right way to measure any of this, but there's always a gap between, for example, an academic trying to understand the world, and a campaigning organization that is not trying to understand the world but tell a message or sell their brand.

I feel like we should talk a little bit about the EU referendum, because it feels so much like a statistics referendum, particularly for the Remain campaign. Can you actually work out whether or not Britain will be worse off out of the EU?
I wouldn't take any particular number too seriously. For example, the Treasury says each household will be £4,300 better off if we stay in, and I question figures like that. The Leave campaign points to the fact that trade with China is growing by half, and it says the future is China. But hang on, context. How big is trade with China? It turns out that we still don't trade that much with China compared with the EU. It is increasing very rapidly, but our trade relationship with the EU is vastly bigger than with China. Which is not surprising, but just understanding that sort of thing helps you understand the decision involved.

Or EU membership fees—how much do we pay? How much is that per person? I lose track because I've debunked so many false claims. The answer is basically that it's not a huge number, but it's not small either. But you need to understand that there are a lot of situations where if we left the EU, we would still have to pay some of that money: Switzerland has to pay some of that money, and Norway has to pay some of that money. They're outside the EU, but they have to pay these fees, and that's for access to a single market. This sort of thing is not going to tell anybody which way to vote, but it provides some context, and I think context is very important.

Listen to More Or Less on the Radio 4 Website

Tim's latest book, The Undercover Economist Strikes Back, is out now.


Team Toy Machine Is Working Toward Its First Victory on 'Thrasher' Magazine's 'King of the Road' Competition

$
0
0

We visit Billy Marks at home before he heads out on the 'King of the Road' competition.

King of the Road is an institution in skateboarding. Started by Thrasher magazine in 2003, it's a demented, roving adventure that follows various skate teams across the country as they compete to accomplish a list of tasks, some of which carry great risk of bodily harm, and others that don't involve skateboarding at all (but still might carry great risk of bodily harm).

VICELAND has teamed up with Thrasher for the latest season, which will feature the Birdhouse, Chocolate, and Toy Machine teams hauling ass across America, throwing their bodies and whatever dignity they might have had into the wind for a chance to become the reigning King of the Road.

This year, Toy Machine returns for its third King of the Road competition. Toy Machine has brought Daniel Lutheran, Blake Carpenter, Billy Marks, Collin Provost, and newcomer Axel Cruysberghs on board to do pretty much whatever it takes to earn the team's first victory.

KING OF THE ROAD premieres Thursday, April 28, on VICELAND at 11 PM ET/PT. Until then, watch the documentary following the last ten years of the competition.


The Chosen Ones: Watch: How American Men Are Redefining Masculinity

$
0
0

Although stereotypical measures of masculinity, like fraternity hazings, monster truck rallies, and competitive eating competitions still persist, some men are reevaluating what it means to be a masculine member of society in the face of shifting ideals toward gender identity.

VICE correspondent Gavin Haynes heads to America in search of men who are redefining the conventions of machoism. He talks manliness with a competitive eater while trying to devour a giant sloppy joe in 30 minutes, discusses the "feminization" of education with a men's studies professor, meets a troupe of stay-at-home dads, and spends the night out in the woods with a radical men's group all in an attempt to understand what it means to be a modern American man.

The VICE Guide to Right Now: Former House Speaker and 'Serial Child Molester' Dennis Hastert Is Going to Prison

$
0
0


Dennis Hastert arrives at court last year during his trial. (AP Photo/Paul Beaty)

Dennis Hastert, the former Republican congressman from Illinois who rose to become the speaker of the house from 1999 to 2007, was sentenced on Wednesday to 15 months in federal prison on charges related to paying hush money to men he sexually abused decades ago, when he was their wrestling coach.

The statute of limitations had run out on potential molestation charges, so he was never arrested for sexual misconduct, though prosecutors said he molested five teenage boys while serving as the wrestling coach at Yorkville High School in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s. But he was caught withdrawing large amounts of cash in order to pay $3.5 million to a man known in court documents as "Individual A." Then he lied to the FBI about it. The 74-year-old pled guilty to that charge in October, and in November, he suffered a stroke that left him largely confined to a wheelchair.

On April 8, the prosecution recommended a six-month prison sentence, but Judge Thomas M. Durkin instead ordered Hastert to serve 15 months in a decision that didn't spare the former politician. "Nothing is more stunning than having 'serial child molester' and 'speaker of the house' in the same sentence," the judge said, according to the New York Times, adding that "if there's a public shaming of the defendant because of the conduct he's engaged in, so be it." The judge did acknowledge Hastert's poor health by saying that he should be sent to a prison hospital.

In court, Hastert read from a written statement, saying he felt "deeply ashamed" and acknowledging that he had "mistreated some of the athletes" who were entrusted to him, according to the Washington Post. Also appearing in court on Wednesday was Scott Cross, one of Hastert's alleged victims. Cross, now 53, told a story about Hastert offering to give him a massage one day when he stayed late after practice. At some point during the massage, Hastert reportedly pulled Cross's shorts down and fondled him.

When asked by the judge whether he had sexually abused the boys, Hastert stopped short of an admission of guilt. "I don't remember doing that," he said of Cross's story, "but I accept his statement."

The VICE Guide to Right Now: An Apple Employee Was Found Dead in a Conference Room

$
0
0

A dead body was discovered on Wednesday morning in a conference room at Apple's headquarters in Cupertino, California. According to the San Jose Mercury News, the deceased was a male employee of the tech giant who suffered a head wound.

Santa Clara County Sheriff's Sergeant Andrea Urena said in a press conference that the death was an isolated incident, and that no suspect is being sought—an indication cops don't believe there was foul play.

The initial emergency call came in around 8:35 AM local time on Wednesday, resulting in initial reports that security was escorting a wounded person around the Apple campus who may have had a gun. Members of the Santa Clara Fire Department showed up to assist with the wounded person, but law enforcement sent them on their away.

"This is currently a coroner's case, and we don't have further details at this time. It will be up to the coroner to determine the manner and cause of death," Urena said at the press conference. "There's nobody else at risk, and nobody else is involved."

The sheriff confirmed the tech company's campus remains open Wednesday, though employees have reportedly been told they can take the rest of the day off, and grief counseling has been made available.

Apple had yet to release a statement about the incident at the time of publication.

The VICE Guide to Right Now: You Can Have Orgies Through Tinder Now, but Everyone Will Know

$
0
0

Photo via Flickr user Sam Chua

Read: You Can Pay $5 to Find Out If Your Significant Other Is Secretly Using Tinder

Tinder just rolled out a new feature called "Tinder Social" that will help you plan orgies from the comfort of your own home, the company announced Tuesday.

Tinder writes that the feature is about "meeting great groups of new people, and turning a basic night out into a night you'll never forget," which sounds like PR speak for winding up at someone's Airbnb for coke-fueled group sex.

The basic idea is that Tinder will allow you to match with groups of people, rather than just one boring jamoke. It sounds a little like that threesome-finding app 3nder, but with a small catch: All your Facebook friends will know you're searching for an Eyes Wide Shut sort of evening.

Because Tinder relies on users' Facebook information, you can see which of your Facebook friends—male, female, taken, or single—is on Tinder, and peep their profiles to see if you want to partner up. Since not everybody wants their friends, exes, and distant relatives to know they're swiping for love or group sex on Tinder, some users are a little pissed.

In response to the outrage about users being outed on Facebook, Tinder updated its initial post by saying that "any user who would prefer not to be added to groups can opt out of Tinder Social through his/her settings to no longer appear on their friends' lists."

Tinder also made sure to note that the feature is only being tested in Australia right now—but if all goes well Down Under, we'll be setting up our Tinder orgies stateside soon.

Is the UK Government's Anti-Terror Strategy Damaging School Kids?

$
0
0

Illustration by Ella Strickland de Souza

In the summer of 2015, then 16-year old Rahmaan Mohammadi, a student at the Challney High School for Boys near the town of Luton, England, found himself questioned by police on suspicion of "extremist tendencies."

All Rahmaan had done, he repeatedly contested, was participate in pro-Palestinian activism, before being reprimanded by a senior staff member for wearing a "Free Palestine" badge and wristband, and for attempting to raise money for charities getting clean water to children in the Gaza Strip.

The conflict—which Rahmaan claims ended in a staff member asking him and a friend if they were "sure the money's not going to ISIS"—led to two police officers showing up at his house. "They came in and interrogated me for a good forty-five minutes," he says. "Asking questions like, 'What do you think about what's going on in Palestine? What do you think of Israel? What do you think of Syria, President Assad, ISIS?' General Middle East questions."

While Bedfordshire police have said they came to the conclusion that Rahmaan was "not at risk" because of his responses to a range of questions, the teenager insists it was one answer in particular that changed their minds:

"It came down to a simple question in the end: 'What sect of Islam are you?' I replied that I'm a Shi'a Muslim, and what said was, 'Oh well, we're only looking for certain types of Muslim.' What he obviously means by that is that if you're a Shi'a, then you obviously aren't gonna be a radical, but if you're Sunni, then you're someone to keep an eye on. I thought that was extremely discriminatory to other sects of Islam."

Rahmaan had been questioned under "Prevent," a key pillar of the government's anti-terrorism strategy, and one that's supposed to root out the kinds of extremist political ideas that encourage young people to join groups opposed to "British values," from the Islamic State (ISIS) to anarchist collectives.

Part of the broader "CONTEST" counter-terrorism strategy, which includes provisions to "Pursue" (detect terrorist plots), "Protect" (strengthen protection against these plots), and "Prepare" (ensure the country can withstand terror attacks), the Prevent strategy is carried out through a complex network of local authorities, grassroots organizations, and dedicated law enforcement bodies. The rules have shifted over time, and since last year, if a teacher or staff member believes that a child is showing signs of extremist behavior, they now have a statutory duty to involve Prevent officers. If the child is deemed at risk, they have to refer them to the Channel de-radicalization program. Failure to do so could put their jobs at risk.

While the other strands of CONTEST are intended to be no-nonsense intelligence-gathering and attack-preventing arms of the state, Prevent is, at least in theory, the carrot to CONTEST's stick.

"It's responding to the reality that young people now are vulnerable to radicalization," says Kalsoom Bashir, co-director of Inspire, a counter-extremist organization that supports the government's efforts. "There are people out there recruiting people for their own terrorist purposes, and this threat is very real."

Three British schoolgirls who fled to join the Islamic State last year. Photo courtesy of the Metropolitan Police

Whether or not Prevent actually works is another question altogether. Last year, as ISIS saturated the internet with graphic videos of executions and ethnic cleansing, it seemed as though a steady stream of young British Muslims couldn't resist the allure of waging jihad in the war zones of Syria and Iraq.

Prevent was designed to stop this kind of thing from happening in the first place. Devised originally by the Blair government in 2003, the coalition government updated the approach as part of a wider revision of counter-terrorism in 2011.

"When we produced the policy, nobody involved in it had any idea that ISIL would rise in the way that it has," admits Lord Alex Carlile, one of Britain's leading law experts and an independent reviewer of counter-terrorism strategy between 2001 and 2011, from his office in Gray's Inn. "The scale of the problem has increased—the nature of the problem has increased."

Lord Carlile doesn't think this means Prevent should be ended. If anything, he argues, it strengthens its necessity. But one of the many issues with the policy is that its success is impossible to measure: If it's working, nothing happens. It's hard to track how many people don't travel to Syria to join ISIS.

However, it's hard to ignore the impact the policy is having on the people it's meant to be helping. Prevent Watch is a not-for-profit organization that offers support services to the people negatively affected by the strategy, and since being set up in 2014, it claims to have worked on more than 150 cases of Prevent being misused or applied in a discriminatory or heavy-handed way. Speaking to VICE over the phone, Mohammed Khan, the group's project manager, describes a policy that is discriminatory and draconian.

"Our idea is to essentially document what's going on out there and provide a level of support," he says. "That's across the country, and it was very much a reaction to a need in the community, with a view to evidencing the fact that it was broken."

Prevent Watch has compiled several instances where, it argues, Prevent has been misused or applied in a discriminatory way. A recent example, Khan says, is an instance in a school where a four-year-old Muslim boy drew a picture of his father chopping cucumbers. When asked by a teacher what he was drawing, the boy, struggling to say the long word, mispronounced it.

"It came out as 'cook-a-bum'," says Khan. "The teacher then repeats to the child 'cooker bomb?', and the child picks up the word 'bomb'... and then this discussion goes off in a completely left-field direction. It's unreal. The teacher refers the mother, the child, and the siblings to Prevent. And she's actually submitted the forms and submitted them to social services."

Another is the now-notorious "eco-warrior" case, where Hackney mom Ifhat Smith found her son questioned by Prevent officers using the term "eco-terrorist" in a classroom discussion about deforestation.

"He had to follow this adult who he didn't know, and he was taken into a inclusion center, which is effectively where they put misbehaved children," says Smith.

At this point, her son was questioned by two senior staff members and told he was being questioned because of his use of the phrase "terrorist."

Smith complained to the school and was told there was nothing to be concerned about, but that they had been obliged to investigate the case under the Prevent strategy. But the damage has been done, Smith argues, and being "interrogated" has had a marked effect on her child.

"For my son, he's got a mixed array of friends at the school, from different backgrounds and different nationalities," she says. "He felt really, really embedded in that school community; he thought he had a brilliant relationship with all the teachers. He absolutely loved the school, so when that happened, it really shook him to the core. It was the first time he'd felt like an other, or not belonging."

Prevent Watch and the eco-warrior case have not been without controversy themselves, facing a tough backlash from right-wing newspapers keen to support the government's policy. In a provocatively titled piece from the end of January, the Daily Telegraph alleged that Ifhat Smith was "a key figure in the Islamist Muslim Brotherhood" and that Prevent Watch was affiliated with groups, such as the controversial CAGE, that have been accused of sympathizing with terrorists.

Prevent Watch strongly contests this, of course, as does Smith, who says that while she's previously done voluntary work with affiliates of Tunisia's moderate Islamist Ennahda Movement as part of a campaign called Islam Is Peace in the aftermath of the 7/7 bombings, she has no official connection to the Muslim Brotherhood.

Much of this coverage is a distraction from the very real issues around the policy, and calls for a major reevaluation of Prevent are growing. In 2015, after the Counter-Terrorism and Security Act added statutory obligations to teachers, 360 leading academics and education professionals signed a joint statement condemning it as discriminatory and authoritarian.

"Prevent will have a chilling effect on open debate, free speech, and political dissent," the report argued. "It will create an environment in which political change can no longer be discussed openly, and will withdraw to unsupervised spaces."

Senior political figures have also expressed real concerns that Prevent is having a damaging effect on social cohesion. In February, the government's independent reviewer of counter-terrorism legislation, David Anderson QC, argued in written evidence to a parliamentary select committee that the policy had become a "significant source of grievance" among British Muslims and that it encouraged "mistrust to spread and to fester" among the communities it was meant to help. The only solution to these endemic issues, he argued, was a full inquiry.

While supporters argue that cases of misuse are the result of a lack of adequate training by education professions and are not symptomatic of the broader policy, some argue that incidents are an inevitable result of a fundamentally Islamophobic approach to counter-terrorism.

"It is not focused on individuals who are suspected of involvement in criminal activity; rather, it targets a much broader group of people—the whole Muslim population—and defines them as a suspect community," argues Arun Kundnani, author of a 2009 report for the Institute of Race Relations on the policy and a professor at NYU. "The assumption behind the program is that cultural values and ideology are the root causes of terrorism and so need to be addressed to protect national security. But this assumption is not backed up."

What's worrying is that Prevent could be feeding exactly the kind of alienated mindsets that push people into terrorism and extremism in the first place. Cases like that of Rahmaan Mohammadi, or the disastrous Project Champion debacle in Birmingham, perpetuate the idea among young Muslims that the state is against them—because it is.

"Prevent is really dangerous, and whatever comes in its place will have the same problem... seeing our children as criminals before they've even done anything wrong," argues Ifhat Smith. "It's easy to see a child as a Muslim, then equate them with terrorism and radicalization."

Follow Oliver Hotham on Twitter.

Hollywood’s Latest Whitewash: What Doctor Strange's Casting of Tilda Swinton Means

$
0
0

Still via 'Doctor Strange'

If you're not white, chances are when you're watching a movie or a TV series, you'll catch yourself on the lookout for anyone who's not white.

It's a very minor event, this trying to find someone who looks like you onscreen, and most of us probably do it unconsciously.

That Hollywood has blind spots when it comes to race and race-based issues is not a groundbreaking revelation. Its audience, increasingly non-white and vocal, are challenging the films and their filmmakers about this gap when it comes to who is shown on-screen and who isn't.

It's in this context that we find Doctor Strange. Screenwriter C. Robert Cargill, in a fit of exasperation and indignation, responded to criticisms recently that his movie committed the age-old Hollywood tradition of whitewashing by casting Tilda Swinton in the role of the Ancient One. In the Marvel comic book lore, the Ancient One was based on a Tibetan mystical master. He guides the titular hero (portrayed onscreen by Benedict Cumberbatch) in his journey from a brilliant but ordinary surgeon, to a brilliant and powerful superhero; cloaked and ready to join the pantheon of Marvel characters, and the next instalment of the money-printing enterprise that is the Avengers series.

As Cargill explains it, the decision to cast Swinton was not done lightly. "The Ancient One was a racist stereotype who comes from a region of the world that is in a very weird political place," he says in a video interview posted on YouTube. "He originates from Tibet, so if you acknowledge that Tibet is a place and that he's Tibetan, you risk alienating one billion people who think that that's bullshit."

The one billion people that Cargill is referring to are the Chinese people. He continues:

" risk the Chinese government going, 'Hey, you know one of the biggest film-watching countries in the world? We're not going to show your movie because you decided to get political.'"

He ends this matter by saying that anyone who proposes casting a Chinese actor in this role as a workaround is "out of talking about."

Cargill is referring to some comments online that suggested the movie could have cast Michelle Yeoh, who is Chinese-Malaysian, instead of Tilda Swinton.

Tilda Swinton as "the Ancient One"—bald, but still not Tibetan.

Many Tibetans, like myself, remember the time when Kundun, a film by Martin Scorsese about the Dalai Lama's escape from Tibet to India, first came out. Scorsese and many of his colleagues were subsequently banned from entering China. That was almost 20 years ago. Disney at the time stood by its project, even in the face of harsh retribution from the Chinese government. In the intervening years, the Chinese market for Hollywood films has grown exponentially.

The demands of "one billion people" outstrip those who number far fewer than 10 million. This is basic economics.

But let me tell you how thrilling it was to see Kundun as a Tibetan. When the movie was screened in theatres in Nepal and India (where there is historically, and still remains, the largest influx of Tibetan refugees) grown men wept and old women prostrated to the image of their spiritual leader on aisles between the seats.

I was around 12 years old at the time in Nepal, and even though I was mostly preoccupied by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and WWE (WWF then), I remember vividly how big of a deal it was that this movie was coming out. Scorsese became a kind of a hero, even though I knew next to nothing at the time about one of the greatest living filmmakers.

There was that undeniable magic of cinema—when a character looms larger than life onscreen, against the backdrop of the expansive Tibetan landscape (by way of Morocco)—that swells your heart and transposes you from inside that packed auditorium to the mountains of Tibet, alongside the Dalai Lama, kicking ass, being kind, crying over the loss of loved ones, and just being human.

Still from the movie 'Kundun' (1997) featuring: actual Tibetans as Tibetan monks

There is no amount of dollars or marketing strategy that will quite capture that sense of seeing yourself, or someone like you, projected and humanized on a giant theatre screen. We knew then that in spite of what the mighty Chinese government wanted (the elision of all things Dalai Lama and Tibetan), a short, plucky Italian-American director from the Bronx gave them the finger and realized his vision.

Cargill, it seems, has thrown up his hands. Even though he could doubtless imagine and write pages upon pages of heroic, magical feats for Doctor Strange, on the matter of casting a Tibetan actor, that well is nigh empty. Sorry, but not sorry, because dollars. At least he was honest about it.

The very fact of my existence is a sore point for the Chinese government. Cargill and his ilk would like you to believe that their hands are tied on this matter, but I don't buy it. Their influence over our (and the Chinese audience's) decision to buy tickets to their shows extends beyond just cold hard economics. There is something to be said for doing it the right way. For imagining a world (or at least an America) where, for once, the white skin is not the default, neutral canvas.

In the age of #OscarsSoWhite, Cargill's decision (and his white, male background) is political. Of the panoply of controversies to navigate and confront, he chooses a route that inconveniences him the least.

It's also a bit rich hearing Cargill speak about how he and his team had to carefully, painfully, consider not casting Asians so as to not reaffirm past stereotypes. That consideration falls flat when Hollywood keeps pumping out movies that showcase white dudes in white saviour roles (see: The Legend of Tarzan, coming to a screen near you later this summer).

For what it's worth, between a white actor and a non-Tibetan but Asian-American actor playing the role of the Ancient One, my vote (and dollars) will easily go for the latter. In an industry where it's already hard enough to find roles beyond just extras in the background, here is a character tailor-made for an Asian American actor to shine in. And it goes to Tilda Swinton.

Oh well. I continue to be on the lookout for faces like me. Somewhere in Toronto or Los Angeles, there is a Tibetan kid dreaming to be the next Denzel Washington or Tilda Swinton. I hope she gets a fair shake.

Follow Gelek Badheytsang on Twitter.


What We Know About the Largest-Ever Gang Bust in New York

$
0
0

Photo via NY1 News

More than 120 people were charged by the feds on Wednesday in the largest gang bust in New York City history. In two indictments handed down by US Attorney Preet Bharara, members of the Northern Bronx's Big Money Bosses and the 2Fly YGz gangs were accused of violence against each other, a third faction known as the Slut Gang, and plenty of innocent victims, including a 92-year-old named Sadie Mitchell who was killed in her own home by a stray bullet in 2009.

In all, the gang members are suspected of having a hand in at least eight murders—as well as terrorizing New Yorkers with the ever-looming threat of random violence.

"Today, we seek to eviscerate two violent street gangs––2Fly and BMB––that have allegedly wreaked havoc on the streets of the Northern Bronx for years, by committing countless acts of violence against rival gang members and innocents alike," Bharara said in a statement. "We bring these charges today so that all New Yorkers, including those in or near NYCHA public housing, can live their lives as they deserve: free of drugs, free of guns, and free of gang violence."

Two years ago, shootings soared in the northernmost stretches of the Bronx. To combat the escalating violence, cops were ordered to begin making regular visits with at least one family on every block in the 47th precinct. At the time, compiling email addresses, phone numbers, and names was said to be a nifty way to address quality of life issues—and not about creating a roster of would-be snitches.

No matter what those contact lists were used for, it's safe to say the feds didn't let the area's gang violence out of their sights. Although Bharara has been referred to as the "Sheriff of Wall Street" for taking on shady bankers in years past, the US attorney has also been behind a handful of big gang takedowns, including one that nabbed 87 people in 2011.

This bust is by far his most ambitious yet, and the indictments suggest prosecutors developed deep knowledge of the gangs and how they operate. For starters, almost all of the 120 people charged are identified by street names like "Money Making Kenny" and "Mark the Gritty Shark."

2Fly YGz is described as a faction of the Young Gunnaz that operated in the Eastchester Gardens housing development. They're accused of stashing guns and drugs in an area playground, as well as stabbing a 15-year-old to death in 2010 and shooting a 17-year-old in 2013. Laquan Parrish (also known as Maddog and Quanzaa), Andre Bent (also known as Dula), and Aaron Rodriguez (also known as Gunz and Cita) were the gang's "Big Guns," and they recruited new members, according to the indictment.

Meanwhile, higher-ups in the Big Money Bosses—a faction of the Young Bosses gang—are described by the feds as fitting into a hierarchy of Big Suits, Burberry Suits, Gucci Suits, Ferragamo Suits, or Sean John Suits. Besides murder, robbery, and drug dealing, the men are accused of bank fraud and counterfeiting US currency.

The bust got under way early Wednesday, reportedly around 2 AM. More than 700 investigators with the NYPD and various federal agencies raided housing projects in the area and began bringing in suspects for processing. Nearly 80 people are set to appear in Manhattan federal court for arraignment.

"Unless you like jail or death, don't do it," Bharara said of gang life Wednesday.

Follow Allie Conti on Twitter.

Radioactive Man: Meet the Outlaw Guide Smuggling Tourists Into Chernobyl

$
0
0

All photos by Kiril Stepanets

This article originally appeared on VICE Greece

Every year, thousands of tourists visit the restricted zone around Chernobyl, where on April 26th 1986 the worst nuclear accident in human history took place. After the accident, the area around the plant was evacuated and authorities declared an elimination zone of almost 20 miles around nuclear reactor 4. That area includes the city of Pripyat, the town of Chernobyl, and dozens of smaller villages. More recently, access to the area is permitted only with special permission and accompaniment of an official guide.

Of course, an official ban won't keep everyone away. There are several guides who'll take you into the exclusion zone illegally and will accompany you wherever you want to go. These guides are called "Stalkers", and 27-year-old Kiril Stepanets is one of them. A few years ago, about 10 to 15 people would illegally enter the area, but according to Kiril, these days that number nears the hundreds.

I spoke to Kiril about risk, romance and losing your toes inside the exclusion zone.

Kiril Stepanets

VICE: How did you start giving tours in the area?
Kiril Stepanets: I took an official tour through the zone in 2009, that was the first time I went. But it was immediately clear that those organised tours don't really offer anything – they take your money and you don't really know where you are. I illegally entered for the first time in 2011 with a group of friends, and never stopped going.

Why do you go there?
I live next door. The drive from Kiev is about an hour and a half. Other people go to the Carpathian Mountains or the Alps to unwind; I go to Chernobyl. For a while I worked as an official guide but they didn't want to work with me any more. There were so many cliques there, and people who seemed almost in love with the area – who didn't really want to share it with others. It was a weird place to work. That's why I decided to take people there illegally.

How do you get in?
We go to the checkpoint by car or bus, and then we enter through one of the illegal entry points. Once we're in, we can go anywhere. You'll need to walk a couple of days to get to Pripyat – the big city in the area. It takes less time to get to the nearby villages. When I go by myself, I like walking around in places where no one has set foot in for 30 years. There's a lot of that, but there's also a lot of tourism. On my way to Pripyat the other day I passed about 40 people on the road.

Do you bring instruments with you to measure the level of radiation?
Not any more, because if I get caught my instruments are confiscated, and they're expensive. But I know where I'm going, so I don't need them now.

Do authorities actively look for illegal tourists?
Yes, I've been caught a couple of times. Nothing much happens: they check your things, they file a case, it goes to court and you'll eventually get a small fine. That's only if you walk around to take a look. It's different when you steal stuff from the area, like iron or timber. Apparently, smugglers can make a killing, but I stay out of that.

What kind of people do you take on your trips?
Anyone, really: corporate types who are looking for some excitement, or journalists looking for a good shot. Or anyone just curious to see the Chernobyl they've heard about for so many years. Of course, 90 percent of the people go to stand on a building in Pripyat at sunset and get drunk overlooking the dead city.

Where do you stay when you're there?
We have some apartments we stay in, in Pripyat and in the smaller villages. There's some supplies there, and some furniture to collapse on after having walked around for 25 miles.

How many stalkers are there?
I have no idea. It used to be about 15 people, everybody knew each other. Now it's much more than that, and there's a lot of rivalry too. This other guy knows the places I stay at when I'm here. He'll break the windows of those places and piss on my bed when I'm not there. Or he spies on me. In general, the zone tends to draw some mentally unstable characters.

Have you met good people, too?
Oh sure, so many of them. I met a girl from Moscow in Pripyat who had illegally entered as well, and I started dating her. We used to go there together, I called it a radioactive relationship. We've split up now, though.

Do things ever go wrong? What kind of accidents happen?
One of my best friends from Russia went there in the winter, got drunk and fell asleep on a building. His feet were wet and in the morning he couldn't feel them any more. He dragged himself to the main road, called the police and gave himself up. Eventually he lost the toes on both feet.

He got overly confident?
Yes, but he was very experienced in Chernobyl. That's not very surprising, though: it's usually the more experienced ones that get in trouble, not the newbies.


More from VICE on Chernobyl:

Inside the Belarusian Institutions for Chernobyl Radiation Victims

Hanging Out With the Only Residents of Chernobyl's Exclusion Zone

Gerd Ludwig Photographs the Effects of the World's Biggest Nuclear Catastrophe

Inside the West Texas Sanctuary for Kids Who Killed Their Parents

$
0
0

All photos courtesy of Dan Dailey

According to Google Earth, Estrella Vista doesn't exist. You can't see the little adobe house that sits on 80 acres of arid land in the Los Chisos Mountains, the part of West Texas that most people pass through on their way to the Rio Grande. The nearest town, Terlingua, is little more than a collection of tents, motorhomes, and boomtown ruins whose unofficial motto is "just a few exits past the end of the world."

The house at Estrella Vista is long and low-slung, with a tin roof and small windows overlooking the brutal dreamscape that is the Chihuahuan desert. Dan Dailey and Alex King, the only people who live there, don't seem to mind. "Even though the land is cheap, it's poor as hell, and nothing will grow here, it's incredibly beautiful," Dan told me.

Alex, now 27, spent most of his youth in a prison cell. He and his brother Derek made national headlines in 2001 as the youngest inmates in the Florida Correctional System, at 12 and 13, respectively. Derek had used a baseball bat to bludgeon their sleeping father to death while Alex watched, encouraging him. The boys set fire to the house and fled to their hideout—the basement of Rick Chavis, a 41-year-old family friend who routinely molested Alex and often hosted the boys when they needed to escape their allegedly abusive father. He had encouraged them to run away from home.

A sympathetic judge determined that Chavis' role in the killing plot exempted the boys from the life sentence called for by a charge of murder in the first degree. Alex and Derek pleaded guilty to third-degree murder and arson and were sentenced to prison terms of seven and eight years, respectively.

Dan, a widowed retiree who was living in Minneapolis at the time, noticed the media firestorm surrounding the trial. On a whim, Dan sent $100 to the brothers' defense attorney, and a box of books to the imprisoned boys. Eventually, he and Derek began exchanging letters.

As their relationship progressed, Dan, whose son Henry had recently left home to start his adult life, began to feel like a father figure to Derek. "I had great parents," Dan explained. "They never hurt me in any way. The thought of any parent abusing or abandoning their child just seemed outrageous to me. I came to the conclusion that these kids needed a good parent."

Alex King at Estrella Vista

In the King brothers and others like them, Dan saw children who had made desperate attempts to free themselves from abusive households. "The fact is that these juvenile parricides have for the most part eliminated their problems when they kill their parents," he told me. "It's actually, in my opinion, the best and the brightest that strike back. The best and the brightest are those that defend themselves and don't take the bullshit." (The research on juvenile parricides isn't quite so cut and dry: Many parricides are afflicted with major mental disorders, while others are "prosocial individuals who feared for their lives.")

When the justice system gets its hands on these kids, Dan believes it deprives them of their freedom—and their childhoods—a second time. "I mean, they've lived their whole life in prison. That's like living on a worse desert than I live in. That's worse than death."

When he was released at age 20, Alex says he was "completely overwhelmed." He worked a number of construction odd jobs, but found himself bouncing around, unable to secure steady employment or a lease due to his record. "I ended up in a pretty bad situation, and that's how I came to Estrella Vista," Alex told me. "Dan was always in my corner. He always answered the phone."

Dan had his own regrets to overcome: Dan's parents divorced when he was young, and by the time his father passed away in 1988, Dan hadn't spoken to him in years. Overwhelmed by remorse, Dan spearheaded a park expansion project as a tribute to his late father, ultimately annexing about 80 acres to the Minneapolis park system.

Over the years, however, Dan grew increasingly unhappy in Minneapolis. A former managing partner at a business consulting company, he was living alone under a mountain of debt, and his health was failing. "I woke up one morning and I thought to myself, 'I hate this life,'" he told me. The city had begun to encroach on his park, and watching it decay was like experiencing his father's death all over again.

So he loaded up his BMW and moved to Marathon, Texas, in search of a peaceful bit of desert. He was ready to go off the grid, and he'd realized that with a little land, he could create a retreat for kids like Alex and Derek. Dan would be their surrogate father.

Dan Dailey at Estrella Vista

Soon after, in West Texas, Dan saw his chance. He heard about large swaths of land, way out in the desert, selling for practically nothing. He packed his things in Marathon and signed a mortgage on 80 acres of dust. Derek promised to move into the ranch after his release, writing to Dan about becoming an adventure guide, and maybe even starting a wilderness outfitter business.

Dan would call his piece of desert Estrella Vista. There, he'd finally live on his own terms, while giving parricides a chance to live on theirs—for many, their first real chance. It's theWestern frontier taken to its logical extreme: literally the land of no parents, where the earth and sky seem brand new. A place where a person is just a person, not the sum of his associations, and certainly not his history. Estrella Vista is the only context.

By then, Dan had started an advocacy organization called The Redemption Project, which hires lawyers to defend parricides in court, and provides financial assistance and mentorship to help them from prison back into society. From his organization, he named four trustees for Estrella Vista: his biological son Henry and three parricides, Alex King, Nathan Ybanez, and Lone Heron. Ybanez, 18, was sentenced to life in prison without parole after he strangled his mother; Heron, a female parricide, plans to move to Estrella Villa permanently in the near future. Right now, only Alex and Dan live at the retreat.

Although it isn't yet the full-blown sanctuary that he envisions, Dan has big plans for Estrella Vista's future. If any of the 13 or 14 other parricides Dan advocates for gets released, they'll be partial inheritors of the property. Anyone who wants to visit will be welcomed with what he calls "spiritual hospitality."

But the living's not easy. If they want to see a barber, doctor, or dentist they must drive 60 miles to Alpine, Texas; even the mailbox is six-and-a-half miles downhill. Flies swarm during the day, moths at night. "We shit in buckets, shower once a week, and use about 17 gallons of water per week per person," Dan said. Derek King, Alex's brother, moved to Estrella Vista just days after his release, and he spent his first three nights there wide-awake, shivering in the fetal position. He called his mother every day, until a storm killed the phones. Lonely, he left after six months.

Alex and Dan don't mind the isolation and the harsh conditions. "We are a bit removed from society," said Alex. "To me, that's of no consequence one way or another."

At this strange oasis that might one day be a home for the world's renegades, runaways, outcasts, and orphans, Alex is finally free to make his own future. These days, he's building a frame for solar panels and learning how to make adobe bricks, so he can add another structure to the property.

"Nothing appeals to me so much as having a true purpose and a true goal somewhere," Alex says. "Something that I can do to help people. Truly help them." He and Dan are working to create a spiritual sanctuary for any wandering spirit who happens to drift their way—"a place to rest, a place to sit and think, and a place to heal a little bit, to reflect." The possibilities are endless.

Follow Emma Collins on Twitter.

I Asked Strangers on the Internet to Insult Me for a Laugh

$
0
0

All photos via r/RoastMe

Ever since I spent a full human hour crafting my first MSN username, I was hooked. We all were. It didn't matter if it was a Hi5 status or someone profoundly over-sharing on Bebo, the internet represented the best opportunity the world had ever known for people to open up their inner monologues to a mass audience.

It took us a while, however, to realise that most of the time, the auditorium was empty. That we were screaming into a void. Carefully curating a profile playlist on Myspace, only for people to pause it literally as soon as it started. Posting very earnest political statuses to Facebook, which were Liked by exactly no one.

As time chugged on – as Google evolved from a noun into a verb – the things people were willing to do to get some kind of online validation became both more incredible and more inane. Case in point: Periscope. Watch the first thing that comes up to see how far it's gone. I've just done it; a sunburnt, pained-looking man is live-streaming himself planting corn, and hundreds of people are watching.

A subreddit that went viral yesterday, r/RoastMe, where Redditors upload photos of themselves so strangers can take the piss out of them, is another recent example. Televised roasts are usually reserved for fading figures like David Hasselhoff or Flava Flav and performed by people they actually know. So it's a strange thing to want strangers to do it to you, right? Surely it can't be enjoyable? Maybe it's cathartic in some weird, masochistic way?

To put an end to these questions – and so we could all talk about me for a bit – I washed my face, brushed my hair, set a timer on my camera and uploaded my photo to see how it feels when people you don't know attack you for loads of stuff you're really insecure about:

"You look like you faceswaped with anxiety."

Yeah, this is actually a pretty good comment. Both zeitgeist-y and accurate: I'm an anxious person already and I was extra anxious when I was taking the picture, knowing that it was going online specifically so the vile people of the internet could point out how I look like Steve Buscemi's parasitic twin, or how the size of my mouth doesn't tally with the rest of my face.

Not sure if the comment is really "roast" material, though. If, say, Ludacris had tried it at Justin Bieber's Comedy Central Roast, it probably would have just about inspired one of those dead-eyed, Dermot O'Leary sympathy laughs.

"TIL: redditors actually live in their mothers basement"

I actually genuinely live in a shed, mate. A basement is a step up from a shed, and this is a victory as far as I'm concerned.

"You look like a character being controlled by Andy Serkis in a motion capture suit."

Okay, this is spot on. I've been prepping myself for Gollum comparisons since I became self-aware. This one is like calling David Cameron "spam-head" or Piers Morgan "the skin of a boy stretched over the body of a toad" – it's a given. I've put enough hours in the mirror to accept and soak up that one.

"You look like someone has photoshopped all of your facial features and made them smaller."

This is a good comment, but slightly off: I think that visual thing is more down to the size of my head than the size of my features. I have an exceptionally-sized head for someone who is a mere 5ft 9 – you try finding soft Celtic features that will fill it.

"Clockwork Orange meets 'Gollum'"

Yep. We all get that and we can all see it's true.

"Was your father Donald Trump??? I don't know whose hair is less convincing....."

This is textbook roast material. The kind of pre-scripted burn you'd hear word-for-word from a sweaty Seth McFarlane, who's pretending it's an off-the-cuff thing he's just thought up. Topical with the Trump reference, sweet and damning. I didn't know my hair was that silly, but it turns out it is. I'm switching back to a middle parting.

"Have you just had a flashback to that cold night with Uncle Stephen..."

I get it: you're attributing the worry lines and general look of desperation to me being molested as a child. Very, very shit roast. The kind of burn that probably wouldn't even coax a laugh out of a pissed up uni rugby team.

"Glad you took time out of your busy schedule of planning to shoot up a mall to post here on Reddit"

So this was one of a few "you look like a murderer"/"killing spree"-themed roasts. And like Reeves and Mortimer one way and David Spade the other, this one is lost on the trip over the Atlantic. Perhaps in the United States, where tragic mass shootings actually happen on a daily basis, this taps into that Frankie Boyle vein of shock-humour? But I have to say: it didn't do it for me.

"Doing it for a piece? Oh come on. I would call this lazy journalism, but it's hardly journalism and at least laziness looks appealing. Nothing about you, or this situation looks enjoyable. When boring old men complain about millennials being broke because they're too scared to do a real job involving real work, you're the kind of prick they're talking about. Everyone under 30 gets chucked under the bus because faux-intellectuals like you want to write 'You know guys, I really learned something today' articles for a living, confusing a career with Kyle's monologues at the end of a South Park episode. Is that good enough to satisfy whichever Murdoch-owned, click-baiting, race-to-the-bottom, content churning media cesspit you're getting 5p a word for? Oh, and if the eyes went any further back into your head, they'd be staring at the balls of the dinosaur on the wall behind you. BTW, dinosaurs on the wall, have you had that up since your sixth or seventh birthday party?"

I mean, a lot to process here. But first: do not worry, enraged stranger; I wasn't expecting to win a Pulitzer with this. It's just a bit of fun, isn't it?

It's strange – despite the comment being so dense and targeted, the one part that really sticks out for me is the dinosaur thing. I guess I want to tell him it's a signed Stewart Lee poster. Enraged Redditor: it is a signed Stewart Lee poster. Look – it says, "To Oobah, You a Cunt."

I feel like you'll like that? You seem like an intelligent, angry guy, so even if you don't like me, presumably you like Stewart Lee? A lot of us intellectuals do.

However, you definitely won't like this: I feel like I did learn something today. For all the semi-solid burns that actually made me smile, there were just as many that fell incredibly flat.

So what did that teach me? That loads of people on the internet have shit banter.

If you want to tear into me for being a small-mouthed, floppy-haired cunt, you can do so here.

More on VICE:

How the Internet Is Destroying Our Favourite TV Talk Shows

Meet the 'Tulpamancers': The Internet's Newest Subculture Is Incredibly Weird

Is My Internet Generation Finally Coming Unstuck?

I Tested All the Changing Room Mirrors of My Downtown to See If They Made Me Look Any Different

$
0
0


All images by the author

This article originally appeared on VICE Spain

Earlier this month, I read an article in Spanish newspaper La Vanguardia, in which a Russian journalist had taken selfies in high street clothing shops and concluded that many shops use mirrors that have been manipulated in order to make shoppers look thinner. Ever since reading that, I've been suspicious of every mirror I've seen myself in. Was it really me in the mirror, or a thinner, prettier version of me? Which is the real me? Is there even a real version of my body if it's reflected to me in different ways? Can I really know myself if I don't know what my body looks like? Etcetera, etcetera. Pretty heavy stuff.

I'm perfectly fine with my body, it's not that. I'm built pretty average, usually a medium. It just seemed absurd to think that big brands have been tricking me for 27 years, and I've never realised. Can I hold these brands accountable? Can I request compensation for those trousers that I tried on in Zara that seemed to fit perfectly at the time but made my legs look like sausages when I got home – not sexy hot dog legs but very unsexy sausage legs? But what if it wasn't true? What if the journalist was faking it? Her hair looked three inches longer in the changing room photos, her face looked touched up with Perfect365 and she seems to weigh about 2 lbs less. I only knew one thing at this point – to trust no one.

To get some perspective, I got in touch with Carles Casas – a specialist in sensorial marketing and very familiar with the world of retail. According to him, the main goal is not to make customers buy more but to buy better. "We focus on the sensorial experience within the buying process as a whole. The changing room is a moment in this process, which can dramatically affect it – positively or negatively. On a sensorial level, the shopper's experience in the changing room depends on the lighting, the temperature, the volume of the music, or indeed the fragrance in the room. We work to identify all details that may influence this experience and we try to improve them."

I asked him to what extent companies are manipulating us with all of these different techniques. "It's all completely legal and regulated. But the biggest regulators are the buyers themselves. Brands don't actively try to fool or manipulate the general public, because they're aware that – beyond questions of ethics – it's bad for their brand and bad for sales in the long term. People aren't stupid. And they're not forgiving. If you believe that a brand has tricked you, you're bad news for them. Not only because you won't come back but because people around you might not either."

To see if Spanish shops trick their shoppers in the same way as the Russian shops did in the article I read, I spent four hours in Barcelona's city centre, going from shop to shop.

I started in Bershka, which in Spain is better known for the unrelenting music they blast than for their merch. The lighting in the changing room was quite yellow but there were so many shadows that I ended up looking like something out of a Caravaggio painting.

The spotlight on my cleavage created shadows above my belly, which made my waist seem smaller. My legs seemed more slender, my head bigger. Which on paper would make me seem like a Disney princess but that wasn't the reality of the changing room.

My second stop was at Spanish high-street store, Lefties. The changing room had red curtains, which gave it a somewhat sophisticated and weirdly sensuous vibe.

Like, I'd be up for calling the changing room something classy, like "boudoir" or something, had it not been for the fact that A) I was in a noisy and hot changing room on one of Barcelona's busiest shopping streets, and B) the lighting showed every single wrinkle in my trousers and made my clothes look baggy. It showed every imperfection in my outfit and my hand looked like the claw of a geriatric bird. I don't have claws IRL, I promise.


The smell in the next shop, Stradivarius, was overpowering – it filled the whole changing area. As did my suddenly bafflingly enormous chest – in the mirror, at least. There was literally a spotlight on my chest. For the first time ever, I knew how people with big breasts and small thighs must feel.

It made me feel like buying every single item in the store so I'm glad I don't have huge tits and small thighs in real life, because I'd be penniless.


After that I went to women'secret – an underwear store. The intimate lighting was nice but didn't help for my figure. The orange frame around the enormous mirror made me feel pretty tall at first but when I looked again, I was suddenly stockier – as if my bottom had been cropped and my waist was much higher than it should be. It was weird.

In Oysho – another lingerie and swimwear shop – I discovered that, with the right lighting, my face can be vaguely reminiscent of Michael Jackson's – in his final, sad years.

In Zara, the dim lighting made my face look like that of a porcelain doll, which is always a plus. There were mirrors in every corner of the changing room, which all made me look thinner. However I was standing, I got a good look at a thin version of myself.

I felt bamboozled and happy to be bamboozled – the small, contained compartment of the changing room suddenly making me feel very comfortable.

At Pull & Bear, they went one step further in making you paler and it had the same effect: I felt immaculate – one industrial strength fan and a smoke machine away from being the face of some perfume ad. And my belly was completely gone. Where had my belly gone?

It certainly didn't get a head start to the H&M, my next stop, because it wasn't there either.

I need this mirror in my bedroom – or better: I needed to make this changing room my bedroom. Not only was the light so perfect that it hid all imperfections in my face, it also made my chest my legs look stronger. My skin looked pre-pubescently flawless. I never wanted to leave.

There were a lot of mirrors in the changing room at Springfield, so I didn't know where to look but I liked what I saw. My skin looked wonderfully and unnaturally smoothly tanned.

My more conventionally attractive, healthy looking twin sister looked back at me. It wasn't real, it wasn't real. It was just the lighting. But still: it was technically also me.

Much to my regret I left and headed to the changing room belonging to El Corte Inglés – the biggest chain of malls in Europe. I looked way thinner there too.

Although the changing room itself was the tattiest one that I visited, the mirror made it clear that some sort of trick was being played. I'm absolutely sure that I'm not built like this.

In Topshop, my jeans seemed to suit me much better than they actually do. The gentle light coming from above highlighted my forehead and cheekbones. Light colours were highlighted and stood out against the cold colours, which appeared darker.

Lastly, I stepped into a shop in my own neighbourhood, called Friends. The improvised changing room was just the bathroom without a toilet. A curtain divided the shop from the changing room and a basket on top of the sink indicated that it couldn't be used.

But the shop did provide a towel, just in case I really couldn't help myself and justhadto wash my hands. It was so dark in the back of the room that I had to get up close to the mirror to be able to see myself properly.

So, I had been wrong. I had never noticed the huge differences between changing rooms and felt a bit cheated. I called up with Raimon Margalef, a legal representative for the Union of Consumers of Catalonia, to find out if consumers can do anything about this: "You could say they willingly show you in a better light, which could be a base for an official complaint filed with Catalan Consumer Agency. But even if you do, you won't be compensated. The reported company would be required to pay a sanction for the breach which would go directly to the CCA. There's also the possibility to take a legal route if you can find an expert who claims that the mirror caused non-material harm," he explained.

Since that is as difficult to prove as it is costly, it's unlikely many consumers will pursue that. Instead, they'll likely just keep feeling a little disappointed when they get home and see themselves in a different light.

Viewing all 38002 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images