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Fringes: Underground Fighters of Japan

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Waru [bad boy] is a Japanese anything-goes fighting tournament started by movie producer and entrepreneur Yamamoto Yoshihisa. When it comes to organized fighting in Japan, it's about as rough as it gets—there’s no pretty-boy posturing from the combatants and there are hardly any rules. Fighters can't bite, hit each other in the dick, or strike at the face when their opponents are down, but that's it. Submissions are forbidden and KOs pay top dollar, so that's the end goal; usually, “matches end up pretty much just like street fights with someone stepping in to break things up,” according to Yamamoto. Waru is all about blood, sweat, and tears—as the red-stained rags used to mop the ring after bouts indicate.

Yamamoto started the tournament in dedication to his old karate mentor, the late Hisao Mak, the manga artist responsible for the comic Waru, from which the tournament takes its name. The producer was behind the the Takashi Miike film version of the comic, and Yamamoto looks more like an extra in one of Miike's over-the-top films than someone who would produce one, but there’s an unexpected authenticity to his kitschy B-movie Yakuza appearance, something that lends him charisma and makes him both formidable and likeable.

Through the karate circuit and his line of work, Yamamoto has been exposed to various elements and characters in the underground street-fighting scenes around Japan. With Waru, he wanted to put these elements to the ring and create a tournament that would “keep things as close to the street as possible.” He brought in men from across the country, hoping to find the meanest and toughest fighters he could, to embody the Waru or “dark hero” spirit in Maki’s comics.

Yamamoto currently has two favorite prodigies under his wing: Ken Moon and Sapp Nishinari, the latter of whom takes his second name from the area he hails from. Made up on one side by one of Japan’s oldest and largest red-light districts and on the other by homeless shelters and cheap one-coin bars, Nishinari is probably the only place in Japan that can legitimately call itself a ghetto. It's an obvious breeding ground for the kind of street-hardened talent that Yamamoto is after for Waru.

Ken and Sapp may look, dress, and drink like they’re auditioning for a Japanese version of Jersey Shore, but these guys are the real fucking deal. Ken has a face like a brick wall and is entirely unreserved about his motivations as a fighter. “The first time I saw someone using violence to pay the bills I knew that's what I wanted to do," he said. He originally came to the Yamane Dojo, where the two now train together, to challenge Sapp, a well-known Osaka talent at the time. In the end Sapp won, and the two have been tight ever since. As far as they’re concerned, together they’re now the best in the country.

On an evening out with Yamamoto the night before a big fight at Okayama Orange Hall, the pair drink and smoke in a way that would scandalize any normal professional athlete. Both are confident that hungover or not they’ll be able to bring the goods the next day. Yamamoto joked that they don't really practice either, but added that these guys “are naturally tough, so there’s nothing to worry about. Only people with strong hearts can take things to the end—like life or death. They have been in situations [out on the street] where they could’ve easily been killed, and it was only by luck that they survived.”

“Outside [on the street], the bottom line is you can’t lose,” chimed in Sapp.

Even though some Waru fighters have varying degrees of professional training, most of the them are armed with nothing more than street-level experience, which gives Waru a distinctly underground feel despite it being an organized tournament.

Yamamoto believes that violence goes through generational cycles. He compares the man-to-man fighting of his youth and the pure fighting depicted in the Hisao Maki comics to the use of weapons and foul play of kids today. To him, Waru is a way of taking things back to that purer form. Sapp, for his part, acknowledges that he's no stranger to weapons out on the street; he's had guns pointed at his face and lived to talk about it. His view is that what little rules there are in the ring help to make him tougher. By bringing street fighting and guys like Sapp and Ken Moon into the ring, Waru has created an untempered arena for conflict. It is unapologetic, unpretentious and as pure as it is frightening.

“I’m really grateful to Waru as it gives me a reason for violence,” Ken said.


We Don't Need to Defend Beyonce's Feminism Anymore Because We Have 'Beyonce'

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We Don't Need to Defend Beyonce's Feminism Anymore Because We Have 'Beyonce'

Your ADHD Meds Might Give You a Life-Threatening Erection

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Image via

The FDA issued a warning today that a small number of the 5 percent of young boys who have been diagnosed with ADHD are at risk for priapism, aka: boners that won't go away. Medications that contain methylphenidate can trap blood in the penises of men, and even more distressingly, young boys, who already suffer from the "terrible affliction" of hyperbonerism, which is funny, except when it's not.

Priapism, named after Priapus, the Greek fertility god pictured below, is most often caused by scarier and more painful conditions like––prepare to wince––kidney stones, hernias, or twisting of the spermatic cord, which can overshadow the severity of a persistent erection. Priapism on it's own, however, has to be treated or it can cause fertility problems, and, in the worst of cases, gangrene of the penis, which necessitates amputation.


Ancient image of Priapus. Public Domain

Products containing methylphenidate include Concerta, Daytrana, Focalin, Metadate CD, Methylin, Quillivant XR, and of course Ritalin, for which the FDA will require updates to the warning label. Their report also says that Strattera, which does not contain methylphenidate, can also cause priapism. The link between the drug and the condition is still unknown.

This announcement comes just on the heels of a New York Times longread by Alan Schwarz about the overdiagnosis of ADHD in order to sell drugs. In the piece, Schwarz mentions that the FDA has been on a multi-year mission to temper America's enthusiasm for stimulants as a safe and holistic solution for ADHD, which may or may not be their job. Psychiatrist and ADHD drug advocate William W. Dodson, is quoted in the piece as saying people "love a good conspiracy theory." He might note that the FDA timed more bad press for ADHD drug manufacturers to coincide with Schwarz's story.

That's not to say the drug companies haven't tried anything creepy to get kids on ADHD drugs. The New York Times piece details their emotionally manipulative ads that feature placid young boys (almost exclusively boys) in bucolic landscapes, eager to take out the trash and do their homework. Being a male is the leading risk factor for ADHD, and the ads seem to know this. The ADHD drug industrial complex even points the curious toward testosterone-heavy lists of famous ADHD sufferers including pro wrestler Matt Morgan, Woody Harrelson, Glenn Beck, and of course, Adam Levine. Levine has emerged as an ADHD figurehead in the way that Wilford Brimley became shorthand for diabetes treatments, and Jamie Lee Curtis is shorthand for constipation yogurt.


Image via

Interestingly, one of the conservative treatments for priapism, after they try an ice pack, is pseudoephedrine, another stimulant which ER doctors use to induce "detumescence," your vocabulary word of the day (It means dick softness). Pseudoephedrine, when used in this way, has a list of side effects that are similar to the side effects of methylphenidate, the chemical that caused your unwanted boner in the first place. Only a qualified pharmacologist could determine that an interaction between the two drugs would be worse than your painful, throbbing penis. You'd better hope the ice and pseudoephedrine work though, because the other treatment options are nasty. And they include the use of one of these:


Image via

If that's not graphic enough, I've gone ahead and queried Google Images for “corpus cavernosum irrigation” for you. Just click the link to check out what that means. Just kidding. Don't click that link, dum-dum! 

The FDA says priapism occured in patients ranging in age from 8-33 years-old, but that 12.5 is the median age. Two of the patients involved in the study had to have the surgeries I just mentioned, an outcome that would really put a damper on a bar mitzvah. 

@MikeLeePearl

How Much Is Our Digital Privacy Worth?

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How Much Is Our Digital Privacy Worth?

A Salvation Army Worker Was Assaulted for Not Saying "Merry Christmas"

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It's that time of year where Americans put their petty first-world problems aside and engage in a true battle, unlike any other. I'm obviously talking about the annual War on Christmas. It's back, and this year its army has grown stronger.

A kettle-bell ringer for the Salvation Army in Arizona was recently physically assaulted by a woman for saying “Happy Holidays” and not “Merry Christmas." Kristina Vindiola was standing outside of Walmart ringing her bell in an effort to raise money for the homeless. Being the godless heathen she is, she had the nerve to say “Happy Holidays” to an unnamed woman as opposed to “Merry Christmas," and all hell broke loose.

Vindiola recalled, “The lady looked at me. I thought she was going to put money in the kettle. She came up to me and said, 'Do you believe in God?' And she says, ‘You're supposed to say Merry Christmas,' and that's when she hit me.” The woman hit her on the arm, and then continued on to the store where she surely got incredible deals on great products the way God commanded good Christians do this time of year.

Vindiola does plan to take legal action against the woman. She said further, “She should've just been happy I said 'Happy Holidays,' but I got hit because I didn't say 'Merry Christmas.”


The victim, Kristina Vindiola

This December debate doesn't seem to be going away any time soon. Year after year, people argue over whether or not someone should say “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas." As a Jew, I feel it's time for me to express my feelings on the matter, and hope that once and for all we end this mess.

I hate to break it to you Gentiles, but Christmas is less a religious holiday and more an excuse to get off work and buy more things. I'm pretty sure we all know by now that Jesus was not even born on December 25. Also, how many of you devout Christians actually go to church on Christmas? Those who do treat is as a religious holiday are more and more in the minority, according to a survey from the Public Religion Research Institute. In their findings, they state, “The most popular activity among those celebrating Christmas is watching Christmas movies such as It’s a Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story. Nearly 8-in-10 (79 percent) report that their family watches Christmas movies during the holiday."

If you really want strangers to tell you “Merry Christmas” that badly, you can have it. Hearing “Happy Holidays” doesn't change the fact that this time of year is oversaturated with Christmas films, Christmas television, Christmas decorations, and horrible Christmas sweaters. When I walk around my city during this time of year, and see things like a “holiday tree," I know it's bullshit. That's a Christmas tree. I'm sure most businesses pushing the “Happy Holidays” slogan don't even know that Hannukkah is already over, and that Kwanzaa begins the day after Christmas. So right now, sure... say "Merry Christmas." You might offend the humanists celebrating HumanLight or the pagans with their Winter Solstice, but something tells me you could care less.

Better yet, the perfect solution to all this is having people of all faiths come together and celebrate Christmas the way we celebrate a holiday like Thanksgiving: completely indifferent to its actual origins. We should all let out a big “Jesus Shmesus” and take Christmas into our hands. My fellow Jews, don't you think it'd be fun to chug on Kosher egg nog while munching on Christmas kugel? If more faiths came together and made Christmas their own, hearing “Merry Christmas” would not be offensive and everyone would win. Would that make the warriors happy?

@JustAboutGlad

Searching for Mecca

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Malcolm Shabazz, the 28-year-old grandson of Malcolm X, was killed in Mexico City this past May. All illustrations by Esra Røise.

Malcolm L. Shabazz, the 28-year-old grandson of Malcolm X, crossed the border from California into Tijuana in early May for two reasons. His labor-activist friend, Miguel Suarez, had just been deported from the Bay Area, and Malcolm wanted to offer moral support and eventually get him back to California.

Malcolm was also running from himself. Back in the United States, he had bounced from one arrest to another for various misdeeds like public drunkenness, marijuana possession, and petty larceny. The trip south, he hoped, would provide refuge and anonymity from his troubled history and inspire him to overcome his own doubts about whether he could live up to his legacy as the first male heir to one of the fiercest crusaders for African American rights in US history.

On a two-day bus ride from Tijuana to the country’s capital, Malcolm and Miguel swapped tales, took in the scenery, and sampled street food at the tiny towns along the route. They conjured up a grandiose plan to unite black and brown people across the US and Latin America by connecting Mexico’s African heritage with Malcolm X’s message of self-defense and human rights.

Malcolm and Miguel, in other words, had big dreams. They wanted to climb the Teotihuacan pyramids outside the capital and explore the African Mexican communities of Veracruz state. They had even planned to hop over to Cuba, hang out with fugitive and former Black Panther Assata Shakur, and maybe even pay a visit to Fidel Castro.

But they only made it as far as the Plaza Garibaldi, a hustler’s hunting ground in the center of Mexico City where mariachis tantalize tourists with music and prostitutes scout for johns. On May 8, 2013, the day after their arrival, they followed a couple of beautiful women into a seedy bar called the Palace Club. Something went terribly wrong: within several hours, Malcolm was dead, his near lifeless body discovered on the sidewalk.

It was global news, a tragic twist to the Malcolm X story. “Grandson of Malcolm X Said to Have Died in Mexico,” read the New York Times story on May 10. Yet the newspapers—like the police and everyone else—had little idea what exactly had happened in the hours and days before young Malcolm’s death.

In a country where few murders ever result in prison sentences—only 1.8 percent of all homicides in 2012—Mexican police and prosecutors are unusually tight-lipped about murder cases. We decided the only way to even get close to the truth was to travel to the scene and investigate for ourselves.

When we began our reporting, the details of Malcolm’s murder were still murky, but one thing was clear. He and Miguel had fallen victim to one of Mexico City’s most infamous bar scams: pretty ladies lure you into a club, chat you up, convince you to buy them drinks, and dance with you for hours. When the bill arrives—a dozen beers for close to a thousand dollars—you either pay or fight.

But typical bar scams don’t end in murder, and after word of the passing of Malcolm X’s grandson trickled out on social media, blogs, and news outlets, all sorts of theories were floated. Was he thrown off a rooftop or beaten inside the Palace Club and dragged out afterward? Was Miguel, his friend and travel partner, somehow involved? There were even suggestions that Malcolm’s death was part of a sinister government plot—the kind, some believe, that was behind his grandfather’s assassination in the Audubon Ballroom in New York City in February 1965.

1 On April 1, Malcolm L. Shabazz was arrested at a bar in South Bend, Indiana, where he was visiting friends. “America is eating me alive,” he told his imam.
2 He returned to his hometown in the Hudson Valley and flew to Los Angeles to meet his friend Miguel Suarez.
3 Miguel, a 30-year-old undocumented immigrant and labor organizer, was deported from Oakland on April 18. Malcolm met him in Tijuana, hoping a trip south would inspire him to live up to his legacy as Malcolm X’s grandson.
4 Miguel and Malcolm took a two-day bus ride to Mexico City. They dreamed up a plan to unite black and brown people in Mexico and beyond.
5 On May 8, their plans—and Malcolm’s tumultuous life—were cut short after a bar scam they fell for went horribly wrong near the Plaza Garibaldi.
Map by Chris Classens

Before any serious investigation could take place, we had to answer one question: Who was Malcolm Shabazz? He was born in Paris on October 8, 1984, to Malcolm X’s daughter Qubilah Shabazz. He never had a relationship with his father. When Qubilah returned to the US with young Malcolm, they drifted from city to city. They moved to Minneapolis, where, in 1995, Qubilah became ensnared by an FBI informant and implicated in a plot to assassinate the Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, whom she and some of her family blamed for her father’s death. Under a plea bargain, she took responsibility for her actions and agreed to undergo psychological counseling and treatment for drug and alcohol abuse.

Like many other members of the Malcolm X clan, the defining event in Malcolm’s life was a tragedy. When Malcolm was 12 years old, he was living with his grandmother—Betty Shabazz, Malcolm X’s widow—in Yonkers, New York. In a misguided cry for attention, he set a fire in the apartment. His grandmother suffered burns on more than 80 percent of her body while trying to rescue young Malcolm, and later died. At Malcolm’s juvenile-court trial for arson, experts described him as psychotic and schizophrenic, but also brilliant. He spent four years in juvenile detention.

At Leake & Watts Children’s Home in Yonkers, Malcolm had a surprising amount of freedom. According to a 2003 New York Times profile, he would sneak out of the compound and travel to Middletown, New York, a small city in the Hudson Valley about an hour north that would become his de facto hometown. In those years, he acquired the nickname Mecca, and the handle captured one of the contradictions of Malcolm’s early life. It’s rumored that his nickname signified a gang allegiance, but Malcolm never acknowledged it meant anything other than a tribute to his family’s legacy of spirituality and activism.

Malcolm was released at age 18, but he spent the next few years in and out of jail for other petty crimes. It wasn’t until 2008—when Malcolm was 24—that he was once again a free man determined to accept his family’s legacy and not recoil from it. “I am the grandson, namesake, and first male heir to El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz,” he would tell audiences during political speaking tours that he began giving around this time, referring to Malcolm X’s chosen Islamic name.

But wherever he went, he was often confronted by questions about the fire he set as a troubled 12-year-old. “For anyone to lose a grandmother, that hurts,” he told an audience in Philadelphia. “I lost my grandmother through my own careless and reckless action. It’s something I ask for forgiveness for, and I continue to ask for forgiveness for and always ask for forgiveness for.”

In turn, Malcolm embraced his grandfather’s legacy. He had converted to Shia Islam in prison, and after his release lived in Damascus, Syria, for a year, and traveled throughout much of the Middle East. He visited Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, and Lebanon. He also visited Saudi Arabia, where he made the hajj, following in the footsteps of his grandfather. The pilgrimage lent his street name—Mecca—a clearer significance that distanced him further from the teenage gang affiliation that he renounced while in prison.

It was in 2011 that Malcolm met Miguel at the Black Dot Café in Oakland, where Malcolm gave a speech about racism in America. Miguel was born in Mexico in 1982, but he’d lived in the Bay Area since he was 17, where he had for years been an undocumented immigrant. He worked as a construction worker and, in his spare time, a labor organizer.

After the speech, the two introduced themselves, and became fast friends. In coming months, Miguel would help organize events for Malcolm whenever his friend was in town, distributing flyers and packing each venue with supporters. Malcolm would promise to raise money among friends in the Middle East to build a mosque, which Miguel had found a site for in Oakland, and at night the two men would hit the clubs. They both had a wild side, but also a politically radical streak—a combination that solidified their bond.

The same year Malcolm got to know Miguel, he joined a delegation led by former US Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney and visited a conference in Libya where he met Muammar al-Gaddafi. By that time, Malcolm’s face was all over the internet—tall and thin with a bright smile—posed in photos based on iconic images of his grandfather, and he appeared in a music video produced in Amsterdam, featuring a Moroccan-born singer.

By the spring of 2013, however, Malcolm’s world was closing in on him. He had gotten engaged, and his fiancée was pregnant; his mother was in the hospital. Malcolm, according to his fiancée, was taking medication for a bleeding ulcer. And to top it all off, at least four arrest warrants had been issued after repeated brushes with the law.

On his personal website in March, Malcolm accused the police in Middletown, where he then shared an apartment with his fiancée, of working with an FBI counterterrorism unit to harass him and his friends. According to Middletown police records, Malcolm was arrested six times from August 2012 through February 2013, on charges ranging from domestic abuse to noise complaints, consuming alcohol in public, failing to use the crosswalk, petty larceny, and attempted assault.

Hashim Ali Alauddeen, Malcolm’s Islamic spiritual advisor in Richmond, California, said he believed the police were likely targeting Malcolm, but the young man was also suffering inner turmoil. That’s when Malcolm began making arrangements to get out of the country. That deep conflict, Iman Alaudeen said, was part of his struggle with his faith.

“It’s not like you become a Muslim, someone throws some water on you, and you are perfect,” Alauddeen said. “It doesn’t happen overnight. It may not happen, but this is the struggle. The greatest jihad is the fight you have within yourself.”

On April 1, police reported that Malcolm was found, reeking of alcohol, trying to open the front door of a South Bend, Indiana, bar at three in the morning. He was in the Midwest visiting Muslim friends. The waitress had kicked Malcolm out after she claimed he refused to leave and made sexual advances at her.

He continued loitering around the restaurant and was arrested on the spot and released later on bail. Malcolm returned to Middletown and, shortly afterward, flew to Los Angeles, around the same time he learned that his old pal Miguel had been deported. Malcolm arranged to meet Miguel in Tijuana, and they traveled down to Mexico City together.

“America is eating me alive,” he told Alauddeen. The iman was making arrangements for Malcolm to fly to a Muslim country when he learned he’d gone to Mexico.

Malcolm Shabazz, at age 12, being led from a juvenile-court hearing in Yonkers, New York, after he set a fire that killed his grandmother. Experts at his trial described him as psychotic and schizophrenic, but also brilliant.

Less than a month after Malcolm’s murder, we retrieved his personal belongings from Miguel and delivered them to Qubilah Shabazz, Malcolm’s mother. She lives in a hamlet tucked in the Catskills of upstate New York. Intensely private, she had refused any and all requests for interviews after her son’s murder, but she agreed to meet us for breakfast at a diner near her house.

 

Qubilah, a massage therapist, maintained her isolation by keeping intimate details of her life under wraps. Malcolm X named the second of his six daughters after Kublai Khan, the grandson of Genghis Khan. At the age of four, she witnessed—and still remembers—her father’s assassination.

Malcolm’s two small backpacks were packed tight with light clothing, toiletries, cell phones, a Qur’an, a Bible, an introduction to Freemasonry, and a small burgundy prayer rug, among other personal items that would seem more fit for a spiritual retreat than a drinking binge in Mexico City.

Inside the restaurant, Qubilah said that she was convinced that Miguel was withholding information about the murder, but she also wondered how her son might have contributed to his own demise.

“My son died because he was spread too thin,” she said softly.

Qubilah objected to Malcolm’s travels overseas and meetings with international figures. She disapproved of the photographs he posed for, replicating the classic images of her father, in a 60s-era suit, holding a rifle before a window.

Malcolm X knew to guard himself against risk—or at least where to draw the line. He never sat with his back to the door, yet he was still snatched away from this earth without warning, gunned down before her eyes.

“You can’t trust everyone,” she told us. “You can’t really be trusting of anyone.”

A year after Malcolm was released from prison, after he had traveled to the Middle East and began his transformation into a political activist, Qubilah asked journalist A. Peter Bailey, a pallbearer at Malcolm X’s funeral, to advise her son about the obstacles he faced.

“Don’t let people use you. Study your grandfather,” Peter recalled telling Malcolm when we reached him by phone. “You need to take six months to a year to learn as much as you can about your grandfather before stepping out on your own.” Malcolm’s grandson had “potential,” but needed time to flourish.

While we were at the diner, Qubilah looked back on her own childhood too, recalling how her godfather, Gordon Parks, the renowned photographer, mistook her lack of outward emotion over her father’s death as an absence of sorrow.

That same outer reserve served as a source of strength when she was called to view her son’s severely beaten corpse before the traditional Muslim bathing by Alauddeen in preparation for the funeral at the Islamic Cultural Center in Oakland. Most of the men in the room broke down and cried when they saw the body.

“Qubilah stood firm,” Alauddeen said. “She was a soldier. She gave us strength.”

Outside the diner, amid an awkward silence, we put her son’s belongings into the trunk of her aging Cadillac—as if somehow the arrival of the two backpacks from Mexico made the reality of Malcolm’s death all the more final, his quest for redemption an ultimately fruitless effort.

At Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale, New York, Malcolm’s grave still doesn’t have a marker more than six months after his burial. He is interred not far from his grandfather and grandmother.

Malcolm’s mom, Qubilah Shabazz, lives in upstate New York and rarely speaks publicly about the death of her son or father, Malcolm X.

After Malcolm’s murder, police questioned Miguel, who was one of the first people to discover Malcolm’s body on the sidewalk outside the Palace Club. Miguel told authorities that he hadn’t seen the actual murder. He was simply, like Malcolm, a victim of the scam and had just been lucky to escape with his own life. After he was questioned, he fled Mexico City and went into hiding in his family’s hometown in Veracruz state.

We found Miguel after talking to a taxi driver who drove Miguel around Mexico City that night. He gave us Miguel’s number, since Miguel had borrowed his phone to call his father in Veracruz. We called Miguel and arranged to meet in his father’s town, which he asked us not to name for security reasons. Other news sources had contacted him, he said, but he’d agreed to talk to us because he trusted us. He wanted to air his complete side of the story. We talked to him all day and recovered Malcolm’s backpacks several days later.

On that first visit with Miguel, ten days after Malcolm’s death, we learned that Miguel had received death threats and been accused of complicity in the murder. Some of the messages even urged him to commit suicide.

“If they want to go to war, I’m going to the war,” he told us, referring to those who suspected that he had a hand in Malcolm’s death. “Because this isn’t fair, man. This isn’t fair at all.”

In his version of events, the fateful night had begun with him and Malcolm sharing a cheap bottle of mezcal they’d bought on their bus ride from Tijuana to Mexico City. They arrived at Plaza Garibaldi amid a blur of tourists, mariachis, and street vendors. A family acquaintance of Miguel’s had invited them to dinner there, and arriving early, the two friends waited in the plaza’s only classy spot, the modern, glass-faced Tequila and Mezcal Museum.

Covering a drab half block in the heart of Mexico City, Plaza Garibaldi glowed with neon menace despite the government’s attempts over the years to clean it up. Musicians prowled the pavement looking for tips as disco lights leaked out of crumbling bars widely known as fronts for prostitution. According to Miguel, their night consisted of ordering shots of tequila at the museum and later having beers and dinner at an outdoor restaurant.

By midnight, Malcolm and Miguel were ready to head back to the hotel. An architect friend of Miguel’s was picking them up early the next morning to visit the pyramids, an excursion that had been an impetus for the trip down south; Malcolm, Miguel told us, was eager to re-create the famous picture of his grandfather standing in front of the Giza pyramids in Egypt.

But before they could leave, two blond girls approached them. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” Miguel recalled. “Told us they were not from the city and that they were recommended to this nice lounge.”

Outside the Palace Club, where Malcolm and Miguel were given an inflated bar tab, after being lured in by two women they’d met a few hours earlier. Photo by Eunice Adorno

This was the Palace Club, situated on the second floor of a beige, three-story building on the other side of the Eje Central, one of Mexico City’s main boulevards.

“I look at Malcolm,” Miguel said, “and he has this big smile like, ‘Let’s go,’ and I said, ‘OK, let’s go.’ I always told my friends, ‘How can I say no to the grandson of Malcolm X, man?’”

Miguel’s account of what happened runs smoothly up to this point, with no one else we talked to seriously contesting the details. But then, as he and Malcolm followed the women to the bar, the story splits into alternate versions, depending on who’s talking.

According to Miguel, prosecutors, and a witness inside the bar whom we interviewed under the condition of anonymity, the two men followed the women into the Palace Club. Miguel told us they were then asked to present their IDs, which confirmed they were both Americans (though he’d been deported, Miguel still had a California ID). They ordered two buckets of beer, containing six to eight bottles each, requested songs from the DJ, and danced with the women.

At around 3 AM, the bar presented Miguel with the bill, which he said added up to 11,800 pesos, or over $900. According to the witness, each beer they bought for the women cost 400 pesos ($30). Each song requested cost 25 pesos (about $2). The privilege of dancing with the women alone was priced at 4,200 pesos ($320), a fee they didn’t know they were incurring.

Miguel had hoped to take the women back to their hotel near the Virgin of Guadalupe shrine, unaware their companions worked for the bar and were in on the scam. At first, Miguel said, he thought the bill was a joke, but when the long-haired “Spanish-looking” cashier demanded payment, Miguel complained that they were being ripped off. Malcolm was dancing with one of the women by a row of windows overlooking the Eje Central, oblivious to the rising tensions, Miguel said.

“They got pissed off when I told them it was extortion and that I was really sad about what my country has become,” Miguel told us. Suddenly, according to Miguel, a short, muscular man appeared with a small gun.

“Here,” he said, seemingly referring to Mexico, “you pay us!” Miguel recalled him saying, while another man with gelled hair twisted his arm behind his back. Miguel said he hadn’t seen the two men before. They forced him into a cramped dressing room near the front door, the gun pressed to Miguel’s forehead.

This is where the various accounts of the story diverge. The witness we interviewed said only the short man confronted Miguel and never held a gun—instead, he simply pushed Miguel into the dressing room.

Marco Enrique Reyes Peña, the main prosecutor on the investigation, told us that based on witness accounts, two waiters—Daniel Hernández Cruz and Manuel Alejandro Pérez de Jesús—were later arrested in connection with the murder. He also told us that his office was looking for an additional two men who are believed to be connected to the murder; he hinted that they were the men Miguel alleges forced him into the dressing room.

Miguel Suarez, who was in Mexico City with Malcolm, went into hiding after the murder.

While Miguel said he couldn’t see what was going on in the bar once he was in the dressing room, the witness who spoke to us said the short man stripped off his shirt and confronted Malcolm, who the witness said appeared to be high or drunk. Malcolm knew only a few words of Spanish; the witness didn’t hear the short man speak any English.

Tests later put Malcolm’s blood alcohol level at the time of his death at 267.82 milligrams, which is enough to severely inhibit the motor skills of an average adult. Still, the witness said, Malcolm somehow managed to run across the dance floor to the emergency exit, with the short man in pursuit.

The bar’s employees later told investigators that Malcolm had climbed two flights of stairs to the building’s roof and either fell off or was pushed three floors down onto the sidewalk. The employees weren’t on the roof and had no way of knowing what transpired up there. When we visited the building months after the incident, we noticed that if Malcolm had dashed out of the emergency exit, he would have come out right where the stairs climbed up to the third floor and then to the roof. His only other option would have been to make it to another set of stairs down to the street. But that option would have meant first running the length of the hallway and passing the Palace’s main entrance, where his assailants could have been waiting. Either way, he would have been cut off.

What happened to Malcolm while Miguel was trapped in the dressing room is perhaps the biggest split in the narrative and the crux of the mystery. According to Miguel, he was there for about ten minutes, with a gun pressed against his head. He, like the bar’s employees, didn’t see what happened.

According to the prosecutor, the autopsy revealed that Malcolm died from injuries to the ribs, jaw, and in particular, the back of the skull—wounds consistent with receiving a fierce beating with a blunt object rather than a fall off a three-story roof.

The prosecutor added that based on the detained waiters’ testimony, the attack went down inside the bar, and Malcolm’s body was later carried downstairs and left on the sidewalk in front of a gay club next door. Adding to the confusion, the prosecutor said at least one of the waiters had first testified after his arrest that Malcolm jumped off the roof, contradicting the account of the other waiter who said the beating had happened inside the bar. Prosecutors ultimately concluded that the first account was false.

During the confrontation the patrons of the Palace Club evacuated and people rushed into the dressing room, where Miguel was being held, to gather their belongings. Miguel said he managed to escape in the fracas and that he didn’t hear the sounds of any beating or yelling. As the bar cleared out, he searched for Malcolm, but the only thing he found was Malcolm’s passport, left on the couch where they had been sitting near the front door.

Once out on the street, Miguel said he considered the possibility that Malcolm had left the bar and was wandering the neighborhood. He crossed Eje Central to grab a taxi, and the driver told him Malcolm was lying outside the bar, Miguel said. He found his friend still conscious, moaning for Miguel to “take me out of here, bro.”

“I grab him, and I put him on my knee,” Miguel recalled to us. “I’m rubbing his chest, cleaning his blood, and telling him everything’s going to be fine. And I start yelling, ‘What happened? Who did this to my friend? Come on, didn’t anybody see anything?’”

The prosecutor said investigators couldn’t find anyone who could account for how Malcolm made it to the sidewalk, but everyone agrees that’s where he ended up. How he got there no one will say. We talked to mariachis, parking-garage attendants, and street vendors near the bar. Everyone said they hadn’t seen a thing.

An ambulance ultimately arrived and took Malcolm to the Hospital General Balbuena, about four miles from Plaza Garibaldi. Although several hospitals were much closer to the Palace, Malcolm ended up at Balbuena, near Mexico City’s international airport, because its ambulance got to the scene first. The hospital refused to comment on the case and directed us to Mexico City’s health secretary, who also didn’t comment

According to Miguel, a nurse at the hospital told him Malcolm’s condition was stable. There was nowhere for him to wait inside the hospital, so Miguel took a taxi back to the hotel to collect their belongings. When he returned a few hours later, Malcolm was dead.

Malcolm Shabazz’s unmarked grave in Ferncliff, New York. His grandfather and grandmother are buried in the same cemetery. Photos by Christian Storm

In the five months since Malcolm’s death, prosecutors say they’ve interviewed approximately 20 people about the case and inspected the bar more than four times. The Palace was closed following the incident and was still shuttered as of press time.

Still, the authorities haven’t arrested the Palace Club’s owner, and prosecutors say the bar’s security-camera recordings, which would go a long way to clearing up this mystery, were themselves mysteriously removed before police secured the scene.

Meanwhile, the arrested waiters are awaiting trial in Mexico City’s eastern prison. Their government-appointed attorney refused to comment on the case.

Miguel said he hasn’t spoken to the authorities since the day of the murder and hasn’t been called to identify anyone in a lineup. Miguel’s hometown is a few hundred miles from Mexico City and the prosecutor said investigators were sent to Miguel’s home once but were unable to locate him. He said Miguel’s testimony, taken just hours after the crime, in addition to testimony from witnesses from the scene of the crime were enough to charge the waiters.

As we prepared to leave Veracruz and said goodbye to Miguel, he insisted a final time that he had nothing to do with the murder. Why would he have set up his pal? After all, he and Malcolm were dear friends and comrades.

As evidence, Miguel recalled one emotional night in California, back when he and Malcolm were still kicking around the dreams of opening up a mosque and uniting blacks and Latinos. After a night of partying in Oakland, Malcolm had pulled out an iPod and portable speakers and cranked up a rare recording of his grandfather’s assassination, while tearfully confessing his frustrations with living up to his familiy’s legacy. As the voices and shots rang out, Malcolm told Miguel not to look at him.

The Mormon Church No Longer Believes That Dark Skin Is a Punishment from God

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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormon Church, was started about 30 years before the Civil War by a bunch of white farmers, so it should come as no surprise that their track record on race relations has been, at best, mixed. For over 150 years of their 180-year existence, members of the church with African ancestry have been barred from serving in the pastorate, and despite a revelation in 1978 lifting the ban, the issue of race and priesthood have never been directly addressed, that is, until now.

In an article released this month by the LDS from their headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah, church leaders and historians are cited in what is meant to be an explicit disapproval of past racially restrictive policies. Yet, an actual read of the article is disappointing.

What should be a mixture of apology and hope for black members reads more like a quasi-historical blame game, dumping some of it on Brigham Young, most of it on America’s mores during the early 19th century, yet none of it on the racism inherent in the doctrine. At no point does the LDS’s statement break canon or actually admit fault.

They even suggest that Brigham Young actually wanted black members to be part of the church by referring to the quote, “blacks would ‘have [all] the privilege and more’ of other members in the future” from a speech in 1852, which also includes gems like, “Cain and his posterity must wear the mark which God put upon them; and his white friends may wash the race of Cain with fuller's soap every day; they cannot wash away Gods mark" (Page 2, “To The Saints”).

This view is still the driving justification behind racism against black members in multiple religious groups, including Syriac Christianity and the Southern Baptist church. Those same ideals are echoed in sermons today, but no responsibility is taken for the incongruent racial implications because they are part of the Holy Scripture, and therein lies the problem. This is especially difficult for black members of the LDS church, who’ve had to ignore the worldview where they are not worthy of attaining higher rank or ultimate salvation.

Nearly ten years after the ban on priesthood was lifted, historian Wayne J. Embry interviewed African American members of the LDS church, and found that in all of the interviews there were “reported incidents of aloofness on the part of white members, a reluctance or a refusal to shake hands with them or sit by them, and racist comments made to them." Some even reported being called the n-word. At church.

Perhaps the biggest modern issue is with black members themselves, who are more comfortable accepting their “cursed” status because it is gospel. As recently as 1998, a professor at BYU wrote of the African American congregants, “They tell me these ideas came from their parents or Seminary and Sunday School teachers, and they have never questioned them. They seem largely untroubled by the implicit contradiction to basic gospel teachings.” Despite the church’s increasing attempts at diversity, their demographics are still skewed 87 percent white, and historically the church has been slow and resistant to change, like civil rights and gay marriage.

So no matter what the LDS church says about the history of the American West and the disavowal of blameless theories, the ideas that “black skin is a sign of divine disfavor or curse, or that it reflects actions in a pre-mortal life; that mixed-race marriages are a sin; or that blacks or people of any other race or ethnicity are inferior in any way to anyone else,” there will still always be racism in the heart of the church, right there in "reformed Egyptian" on a couple of golden tablets in Heaven.

@jules_su

Erry Day ’I’m Hustlin’

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Fuct T-shirt, Nike pants, Adidas shoes, Alleyon Apparel hat, vintage watch; Adidas top, Adidas x KZK x Mark McNairy shorts, vintage long johns, Palladium boots, Alleyon Apparel hat, vintage bracelet

PHOTOS BY BRAYDEN OLSON
STYLIST: MIYAKO BELLIZZI

Photo Assistant: Bobby Viteri
Models: Alex Lee, Ackime Snow, Bobby Viteri, Heather Schwalb, Honor Titus, Jahzrel Henderson, Michelle Salem, Rhamier Auguste, Stanley Mondesir, Will Thompson

Vintage jacket, Huf T-shirt, Tim Hamilton pants, vintage shoes and bracelet, Huf hat

Mark McNairy jacket, ASOS dress, vintage jeans, vintage shoes

Mishka jacket, the Hundreds pants, Vans shoes, vintage socks

Shades of Grey by Micah Cohen jacket, American Apparel top, Rhianna for River Island pants, Karen London earrings

Mark McNairy jacket, Marc Jacobs shirt, the Hundreds pants, Timberland boots, vintage hat; vintage jacket, Nicklas Kunz sweater, vintage pants, OC X Timberland boots, vintage jewelry and hat; Marc by Marc Jacobs jacket, 6397 top, Dickies pants, Nike shoes, vintage earrings and rings

Marc by Marc Jacobs coat, Bar III suit, Marc by Marc Jacobs top, Ray-Ban sunglasses, vintage jewelry

Obesity and Speed jacket, RVCA pants, Dr. Martens boots; Fuct T-shirt, Levi’s jeans, Chrome shoes

Huf vest, Dertbag top, Mark McNairy pants, Nike shoes, Happy Socks socks, Fuct hat; Koonhor jacket, Nasty Gal top, Tess Giberson skirt, Unif shoes, American Apparel tights, Quay sunglasses


We Are Not Men: Maurtified

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Desperation is mostly inseparable from masculinity. Men strain for fame, for female attention, for sad, trivial triumphs over one another. We are a people perpetually trying to figure it all out—flexing in the mirror, using lines we've heard before, trying to seem bold and dignified. We're not cowboys or poets. If we are, we wear it as a disguise. Mostly, we are vulnerable and self-conscious and probably masturbating for the third time on a Tuesday afternoon, because we're off work and that Lea Thompson scene in All the Right Moves just came on. We are not men, but almost. Note: columns may also contain William Holden hero worship and meditations on cured meats.

I am standing in dim lights watching a girl dance on a platform like she wants to simultaneously take home every man in the universe and none of them at all. She is by herself; her eyes are closed; she is moving her body like a 90s Microsoft screensaver. She is wearing a black thong, which I can only report because it has ridden well above her hips, and now there it is, just below the lump of stomach fat she most aggressively does not give a fuck about. From this distance the thong is microscopic, and proof that no matter how small your underwear, sometimes there’s just too much ass for your pants to fit anything else.

It is a Wednesday night in early December, and I am waiting in the lobby of the Rich Forum Theatre in Stamford, Connecticut, because I am here to see a taping of Maury, because I am an American, and gawking at the calamitous decisions of strangers is what we do to feel alive. A dance contest has been organized for the audience members who are waiting to be admitted to the studio. There is a DJ, and Maury beer koozies and t-shirts to be given to the top three dancers. The crowd has formed an impenetrable multi-rowed semicircle around the platform. A girl mentions that there was free pizza last time, but there is none tonight, and that is bullshit, because if she had known she would have stopped somewhere on the way. Everything about this moment—witnessing it, participating in it—seems absolutely essential to the lives of everyone involved. Lots of them are recording this on their phones. One of the dance contestants finishes, and the DJ tells everyone to make some noise. Everyone makes some noise.

A tall, slouching security guard named Owen is standing next to me. Owen is completely unresponsive to my questions, because he is watching the girls on stage, and the girls in the crowd, and the girls on their way to the bathroom, and every girl who has ever lived, probably. When he finally acknowledges me, it is only to nudge my shoulder with his and nod toward the platform, so that I will fully appreciate his ability to watch girls. He is squinting and leaning back with his arms crossed. Owen is pretty great at watching girls.

The girl with the black thong will finish in third place, but before the results are even announced she has, without solicitation, begun her routine again. A white woman’s willingness to embarrass herself under neon strobe lights is irrepressible and knows no limits, and never has that been more apparent than it is on this night, which, again, is a Wednesday.


Maury is Church For People Who Have Previously Made a Scene in a Burger King Drive Thru. It is a place where the audience and guests are not only permitted to be rambunctious and incendiary and rude, but where that is celebrated. Everyone is dressed “nicely,” in the sense that something with buttons is “nice” and getting a haircut makes you “presentable.” There are women in shirts that look like they’re made of Oriental rugs, tugging constantly on the fabric of their clothing to hide one area and expose another. There has never in one place been a denser concentration of people whose torsos and limbs are not traditional shapes but just vague, undefined polygons. Thighs morph into back fat; heads appear to sit directly on shoulders like preschool drawings. Men wear gargantuan bubble vests over sweaters, cufflinks on shirts that are untucked, sunglasses indoors, Buffalo Wild Wings t-shirts, jeans that fit so poorly it’s as if the wearer found a spool of denim in a parking lot and assembled them on the drive over. They are people who carry their oddness and defiance of good taste on their shoulders, like a boom box. Maury is, for all its forgery, all its fabrication, a place where these people seem comfortable being the realest, most impulsive, amplified version of themselves.

Behind me sits a short, doughy woman with spiky, dyed-blonde hair that looks like it is made of copper pipe shavings. After nearly every catastrophic bit of information revealed by Maury to the female guests, she laughs until she wheezes, composing herself only when she is on the brink of self-asphyxiation. Every time she sits and stands her stomach brushes against the back of my head. She seems completely undeterred by her reality, which is that of an odd, deranged little woman who has apparently come to Maury, by herself, to laugh until she nearly loses consciousness, at the image of another woman helpless and exposed.

It is the governing principle of the Maury universe: we are an immeasurably flawed people, but there is always someone more abnormal than you are. That is why we’re here, why we’re mocking and shouting. It is why, when the spectacularly round, chubby-cheeked sister of one guest walks off stage, a man in the audience repeatedly MOOS at her until she disappears. Then, at a security member’s request, he does it once more.

Screengrab courtesy holymaurymotherofgod.tumblr


Before Maury appears, a producer describes for the audience a few generic scenarios, and what its corresponding reactions should be. “Let me see your face if you’re shocked; if you’re sad; if you’re pissed; if you see a cute baby on the screen; if someone says, ‘Those aren’t sex scratches, I have eczema!’” He rehearses them all, the heartened awwwws and scandalous ooohhhhhs and I’m-not-gonna-take-this-from-you-anymore triumphant applause, until the entire audience is synchronized and at a volume that matches the hypothetical .wav file on the MAURY RESPONSE soundboard.

During the taping of each segment, another producer buzzes around one of the cameras, holding a clipboard and wearing a pair of headphones, deliriously imploring the crowd to respond, pantomiming the desired reaction, doing it as explosively as one possibly could without making a sound. She is communicating in emojis, a language immediately familiar to the audience. We are a people who respond to spectacle, because it makes us feel like we are a part of something. Something ostensibly SAD happened, so you should feel SAD. People are happy to be a part of the SADNESS, as long as it is not their sadness, as long as there is detachment. Periodically, the producer will write all-caps commands or brief clarifications in black marker on rectangular white signs. (A selection: “HUGE REACTION,” “MORE ENERGY,” “THEY ARE LESBIANS.”) There are no commercial breaks, no time dedicated to generating anticipation, just something being mechanically and blatantly produced, contrivance humming along on a conveyor belt in the shape of an overweight white woman flailing at her boyfriend’s new girlfriend. We are enraptured by this manipulation, but that’s kind of why we’re here.

Maury himself is just an instrument. He behaves like he has been configured specifically to accommodate our short attention spans and our desire to interpret only Emphatic Gestures and nothing more subtle than chairs getting knocked over. He varies from Stern Inquisition to Glee to Vindication to tossed-off We’ll Be Right Backs. Everything is an affectation. He is not the god of the Maury universe but rather an inane thought bubble that hovers above the head of his show’s guests. YOU'VE GOT TO FEEL BETRAYED, RIGHT? The skin on his face looks permanently constricted, like a pile of wet, knotted laundry, like years of pretending to be dismayed has made his face stay this way. He is extraordinarily skilled at beginning and then abruptly halting his fake laughs, contorting his face and his voice. He never at any point seems to communicate on a level beyond basic narration. Solemnly crossing his arms, putting his glasses on as he prepares to read test results, letting his mouth hang wide open.

Gif courtesy holymaurymotherofgod.tumblr

At the end of one cheating-themed segment, a female guest, who ran backstage after learning that her boyfriend had been unfaithful to her, unexpectedly returns. She walks down the entrance ramp, looking sad and confused and starkly alone, no cameramen following her, no applause, no empowering music. The audience laughs, like, umm, what are YOU doing here? The producers do the same, and then direct her to leave the set. Maury just stands there, half-smiling, wondering why this human didn’t evaporate like the others. She is still sad, but they don’t need her to be sad anymore. They don’t need her for anything. So she turns around and leaves again. She is gone. Heartbreak is painful, but this is television, and eventually that’s all the time we have for today.


During a paternity segment a 53-year-old man named Leonard, who is roughly the size and shape of a vending machine, stomps onto the stage, slightly bent at the waist and perpetually fixing his pants. He tells his 26-year-old girlfriend, “SIT DOWN; THIS MY TIME.” He is wearing a shiny crucifix, baggy jeans, and a suit jacket that, as he walks and his hunch becomes more pronounced, almost reaches his knees. His voice sounds like Tom Waits hyperventilating. He insists that he is too old to impregnate a woman, but his girlfriend counters that he isn’t too old to be getting that pussy, which is fair logic. She has already had ten children, she claims, and Leonard suspects one of her ex-boyfriends could be the father. Maury reads the results of the blood test, which confirm that Leonard is the father. Then, instead of despair, Leonard instantly executes a series of inexplicably athletic pelvic thrusts all over the stage, and then into the audience, up the tiers where the seats are, thrusting as he does that too. Leonard very nearly becomes the first person to ever impregnate gravity.

Leonard’s celebration is preposterous, but that, in itself, makes it as unequivocally Maury as anything could ever be. It is a show that condenses a relationship into eight minutes, eight minutes into a blood test, a blood test into a reaction, into Leonard having violent sex with this fleeting, never-again chance at mattering, to strangers, at any cost. We are a culture that traffics in Likes, in Attention, even if it evaporates on a Tumblr page that scrolls infinitely. In 2013, our legacies are only as long as .gifs.

Gif courtesy holymaurymotherofgod.tumblr

@RBUAS

VICE's Top 50 Albums of 2013

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Frank Zappa once said that "music criticism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read." We're onboard with that statement, which is why this time of year always gets our goat, and then rams a splintery chopstick up our poor goat's dickhole. It's year-end top-50 review season.

Allow us to explain a few things about year-end top-50 review season. It's a moment when neck-beard music critics get to throw their weight around, kick their Converse up on their desks, and wax critical about something that's fully accepted as impossible to quantify—the best albums of the year. According to Billboard, something like 75,000 albums are released each year, and that's not counting stuff your dirtbag cousin throws on Bandcamp. With an average running time of 45 minutes per record, the average human could listen to music 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and not make a dent. 

All this mathy stuff illustrates that year-end lists are based 100% on taste. There is no canon of pop music, and anyone who says there is most likely just wants to keep his job as a music journalist. So allow us to present our taste, in order, as collected in 12 issues of VICE Magazine over the past year. Before you get all pissy in the comments and accuse us of neglecting HAIM, Chance the Rapper, Jon Hopkins, or whatever garbage you think deserves critical respect, keep in mind that A) 99% of all music is terrible, B) some of these reviews are on the top 50 because we liked the review, not the band, and C) we really, really, really don't care.

 

50.

VARIOUS ARTISTS
Christian Workout Power Pack
Capital Christian Distribution

You were probably proud when you found the Desperate Bicycles’ Remorse Code LP in the dollar bin, but when I came across this gem I felt like fucking Friedrich Miescher. Get this: it’s specifically and explicitly a triple-disc collection made for Christian women aged 30 to 45 to help them break a sweat at the local YWCA. Plus, there are no digital downloads, it’s only available in Christian bookstores, and Christianity is a vicious celestial dictatorship that encourages ignorance, cruelty, and genocide.

AVRIL MEURSAULT

49.

UV RACE/EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING
Bad News

Almost Ready

Australian punks are the best punks. This is because they drink the blood of kangaroos, which makes them all “hopping mad” and really good at pogoing. Does this mean that kangaroos are the punkest of all animals? I dunno, but I am sure those fuckers will kick you in the face something fierce, with or without steel-toed Docs. They definitely get some kind of props for that.

MISTER BLISTER

48.

SURVIVAL
Self Titled

Thrill Jockey

When he’s not busy making proggy black metal with his other band, Liturgy, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix (son of Helen and Jimi, for all you flower children out there) is making blackish prog rock with his new project, Survival, and—hey, Joe—let me just tell you, I’m mad about this album. Hunt-Hendrix, along with bandmates Greg Smith and Jeff Bobula, expertly revives first-wave math rock with the added punch of hardcore gravitas, and it’s got me floating, got it? I would almost even go so far as to say it’s as good as it gets! I know what women (and men, sometimes) want, and it’s more spasmodic rhythms and unpredictable melodic narratives from this Brooklyn trio. Are you experienced, yet? I’m just trying to pay it forward and bask in the rays of the new rising sun.

SUE SORRY

47.

PAMPERS
Self Titled

In The Red

Sometimes when I’m listening to Drake’s lyrics, I’m all like, “Oh, for fuck’s sake, this is totally something my mom would say.” Not so with these dudes. Sure, they could be talking about white-wine spritzers and alimony, but who the fuck can tell? They’re loud, they have unintelligible lyrics, and they named their band after a diaper. Drake can go shit his pants standing and then suck a good man’s dick.

SHANDWICHES

46.

TYLER, THE CREATOR
Wolf

Odd Future/XL

Kids are so fucking scary now. I’ve always thought that the most terrifying horror and thriller movies are the ones with really stoic, black-eyed kids in formal wear who have no emotions and wait around to slash your ankles or face with found objects. I would literally be afraid to be in the same room as Tyler, the Creator. He looks like he’d peel off a person’s top layer of skin with the very tips of his front teeth and fingernails so that he could later don the victim’s epidermis as a cape onstage while calling your mother a series of very bad names. Which, I think, is exactly what he’s going for, so we can do nothing but encourage it (or die).

RYAN GOSLING

45.

THE SPACE LADY
The Space Lady's Greatest Hits

Night School

Susan Dietrich, a.k.a. the Space Lady, a.k.a. my galactic wet dream, was this weirdo homeless dropout busker chick who drifted between Boston and the Bay Area back in the 70s, supporting her draft-dodging husband and three kids by playing zonked-out space-themed psych covers in a winged Viking helmet. Most street musicians have a story like that, but most of them also make music that belongs in the environment where it was conceived: a quaint little town I like to call “Covered in Human Turds and Boxed Wine in the Dumpster Behind Carl’s Jr.”

DINAH SHORE’S TOOTHED OVARIAN CYST

44.

THE HOLYDRUG COUPLE
Noctuary

Sacred Bones

I want to give this a puke face out of sheer annoyance but can’t because it was made by two people from Chile who put out a perfect hazy summer psychedelia album with that nice, warm buzz tone that tingles the tip of your dick when you’re stoned. And they’re doing it in the dead of winter as a fuck-you to the entire Northern Hemisphere. I live up here, assholes. It’s nine degrees. Right now they’re probably all growing their hair long and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cartoons and shouting “Cowabunga, dude” and surfing and hand-feeding grapes to naked women with green eyes or whatever the fuck they do down there. Just invite me, dudes. Please.

BEN JOHNSON

43.

JULIANNA BARWICK
Nepenthe

Dead Oceans

This record came at a really good time for me, which is to say I was cooking Rice-A-Roni while bumping the Mallrats soundtrack. As I ran a food train on my fanus (face anus) with the San Francisco Treat, I perused the press release, which dropped some smarty-pants nuggets like “light-dappled,” “lingering magic,” and even “alien landscapes.” I thought to myself, Sure, I can definitely hear that. Sophisticated people with good taste, I envy your dedication to grown-ass-woman music like this. I too am a grown-ass woman, and I actually like this a lot. That being said, it did trigger my extreme guilt for having zero interest in ever doing yoga. Especially Bikram.

ENYA FACE

42.

DJ RASHAD
Double Cup

Hyperdub

These days, the proverbial South Side of Chicago is often cited as a “vibrant music scene,” not a spawning pool for dead-eyed child soldiers who can occasionally be coaxed into creating the bleak-as-death drill music that straight white male music critics are currently pounding off to ad speculum. But there’s another side to the city that has nothing to do with tubesteaks of any sort, one that’s centered around a different bass-heavy breed of club music called “footwork.” It’s a lot less murder-y, and DJ Rashad is its reigning (if oft-overlooked) king. This record is crack, but its only problem is a release through some limey professor dude’s vanity label. So I guess straight white male music critics are gonna be the only ones listening to this outside of the Big Onion after all.

TEKLIFE INTERN

41.

ONEOHTRIX POINT NEVER
R Plus Never

Warp

You know when it’s 4 AM on a Tuesday and you realize you’ve just watched the entirety of a two-hour infomercial for some carpet cleaner you’re never gonna buy, but you just can’t turn off the TV because it’s bright and shiny, and you’re a depressed insomniac? That’s how it feels to listen to this record. It’s like getting a late-capitalist massage in a postindustrial spa on the internet in 1080p. Yes, the vibes are totally vapor-wavy, but not in your typical made-by-a-15-year-old-kid-in-Norway way. Whatever.

STEVE HANDJOBS

40.

YEAH YEAH YEAHS
Mosquito

Universal

I just finished listening to this for two straight days, and I love it, which brings to mind that age-old saying, “If you don’t have anything shitty to shit on, don’t shitty shit on any shit at all.”

HEY SALLY

39.

OOZING WOUND
Retrash

Thrill Jockey

I sit next to VICE’s reviews editor. She’s got a pyromaniac streak and a lot of weird habits, like refusing to eat fruit. One time she sighed, slowly removed her headphones, turned to me, and said, “The only place to find serious art these days is in extreme, progressive metal.” Of course, I told her that a job where one listens to popular music and writes about it will, at best, lower one’s standards for art, and, at worst, retard the cognitive faculties to an eight-year-old’s comprehension level. But then, out loud, I told her she was probably right. Point is, I’m sort of surprised she recommended this record. It doesn’t sound particularly “serious” to me. It sounds like Bay Area 80s thrash and weed.

NEBBISH ORIPASH

38.

FAT TONY
Smart Ass Black Boy

Young One

Fat Tony is the kind of guy who wears nail polish, which is a trend I'm noticing and liking in "weird" modern rappers. Fat Tony is the rap game's guy you want to hug the most. This is a really fun record—not like a "party record," where you have fun while it's playing, but listening to the record feels like reading MAD or Wizard Magazine when you were little and entering a clubhouse of people who got you. What I think I'm saying is that Fat Tony is the black Alfred E. Neuman.

SMARTER ASS BLACK BLOB

37.

BLACK PUS
All My Relations

Thrill Jockey

Black Pus’s new jam All My Relationschannels the ghosts of robotic demons past, escaping their industrial hell. They’re clawing outward and upward, into your backyard with ruthless moves and chops. Swirling oscillator growls gnarl around Brian Chippendale’s patented drum abuse. This is not for casual listening; this is to spur men on the verge of losing everything to take that final plunge. No letting up. Full-on fucking chaos.

WILLIAM CODY WATSON

36.

JAMES FERRARO
NYC, Hell 3:00 AM

Hippos In Tanks

Sure, Eskimos have identified a thousand types of snow or whatever, but lately I’ve been seeking high-level collaborative-research grants to discover and map the innumerable types of boners on God’s green earth. I’ve learned a lot, and one surprising result of my research proves that not all lap rockets originate from normal feelings of intimacy and love. (Note: see the “MDMA street-pee stiffy” or good-old morning wood for contemporary and classical examples of what I’m talking about here.) All I had to do to fully experience the Fear Flute was listen to James Ferraro’s new album, which is so pants-shittingly terrifying that it sucked all the blood vessels from my face and brain and transported them southward faster than a van’s worth of AR-15s breezing past Mexican customs.

GLADYS GOOPINSTEIN

35.

POSTAL SERVICE
Give Up (Deluxe 10th Anniversary Edition)

Sub Pop

Somewhere in the hyperdistant future, after civilization as we know it has long been erased from the pages of time, after an eons-long ice age has thawed, a new, vibrant society, governed by cognizant, trans-aquatic creatures, will be delighted with a gift for their senses. One day, on a journey into the rocky hills, one of these fish people, a common villager, will discover a shimmering disc tucked in the rib bones of a fossilized megalizard. Fueled by an obsessive thirst for knowledge, the he-fish will attempt to retrieve the information from the disc. Much time will pass. The he-fish will die, but his work will be continued by his offspring and, eventually, his offspring’s offspring. Finally, before a massive congregation of trans-aquatic land creatures from all sects and classes, the information on the disc will be retrieved and revealed much to the delight of almost everyone, even a lot of trans-aquatic land creatures who you wouldn’t normally expect to be into that sort of thing.

NOOB SAIBOT

34.

THE-DREAM
IV Play

Radio Killa/Def Jam

This album is incredible. Illustrious. Illuminati level. Four-on-the-Floor, meet DJ Screw. Beyoncé, we’d like to introduce you to Lee “Scratch” Perry. The-Dream, here’s our good friend, reverse-drumbeat sound. The-Dream is Terius Youngdell Nash, and the point of Terius Youngdell Nash is he’s a try-hard, but a try-hard in the best possible way. The bass on this is so intense that it will give you a headache. Synth lines cascade like your ex-girlfriend’s tears when you dumped her. There are so many songs about fucking. One of them is just called “Pussy.” If you conceive a baby to this album, your offspring is guaranteed to come out 10 percent more charismatic, intelligent, and straight-up attractive than it would have otherwise. Seriously, there’s a sticker that says so on the cover.

THE-DREW

33.

WAVVES
Afraid of Heights

Mom + Pop

Man, this record is so good. I did the cover art for the last one, which was fine but just not as exciting as the other Wavves records. This feels like a true successor to King of the Beach. It’s a big exciting beast with tunes you can boogie to, oddly looped samples with tons of echo, and that thing with Nathan Williams’s voice where you can’t quite tell if he’s a man or a boy. The first song of the album, which is also its lead single, starts with piano tinkles before kicking in to “Sail to the Sun.” The tracks range from fun, poppy tunes full of paranoia and self-loathing to slower, psychish songs about being anxious and angry. Great record from beginning to end and it makes me want everyone to be my best friend.

EGGO WAVVLES

32.

SAVAGES
Silence Yourself

Matador/Pop Noire

Savages is the band equivalent to that pair of emergency Urban Outfitters jeans you bought after an unfortunate tahini incident that left you with a conspicuous stain on the ol’ crotchola. When anyone asks you about them, you’re like, “Oh, these? Yeah, I only bought them ’cause I had to. Did you know Urban Outfitters supports Monsanto, though?” Then you still wear them because, fuck it, they’re super comfortable and make your butt look fly.

SASHA “NAOMI KLEIN” HECHT

31.

BASS DRUM OF DEATH
Self-Titled

Innovative Leisure

American youth! Jean jackets! Leather jackets! Ripped up pants and T-shirts and beer and backseat sex and rollercoasters! Drugs, shows, and parties and driving fast! This is a good record.

BRINDSEY BRENNARD

30.

PISSED JEANS
Honeys

Sub Pop

There is a photo, which one may find through the most basic of internet searches, that depicts a young Henry Rollins shaking hands with a young Nick Cave. They are both looking at the camera with expressions that seem to say, “See? We’re cool. Happy now?” Taken sometime in or around 1984, this photo is like a punk version of the Reykjavik Summit: Rollins plays the role of Ronald Reagan while Cave nicely balances things out as Mikhail Gorbachev. In my mind, this Pissed Jeans record reimagines this photo through music. And even without all of this historical reinterpretation nonsense, it still rocks like a fucking hammer to the head.

DREN GLANZIG

29.

SANNHET
Known Flood

Sacrament

When women aren’t thinking about DIY nail art and how to get our various body holes back to that fresh-off-the-playground tightness, we’re carefully considering what kind of trouble we’d get into if we magically sprouted a dick for the day. What would I do with a glistening man-lance? I’d rent the Royal Suite at the Ritz-Carlton in Central Park, punch a hole through one of its massive park-view windows, and with blood dripping down my arm and the city stretched out below me, I would thrust my temporary twat torpedo through this makeshift glory hole and fuck the world in its fucking face. AndKnown Flood would be blaring through the speakers all the while like that scene inAmerican Psycho.

GIRL REPORTER

28.

BARNETT & COLOCCIA
Retrieval

Blackest Ever Black

I’ve been weirdly dizzy for the past week, and this morning I finally got it together to see a doctor, who immediately diagnosed me with “an extreme form of pseudovertigo.” Aside from obsessively cataloguing every single drug I’ve taken in the past three months, and wondering if I’m personally responsible for the tunnel vision and heinous I’m-on-a-boat feeling I’ve been dealing with, I’ve also been basking in the cognitive dissonance that comes with diagnosing a condition with the prefix pseudo- as “extreme.” Is that even possible? Listening to this record, which sounds like an “extreme” version of a pseudo-Are You Afraid of the Dark? theme, I’m pretty sure it is. This music feels tailor-made for the moment when an ailment becomes so intolerable that the only prescription is to take your anger out on society at large. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to google how to get this damn Bacillus anthracis onto a postage stamp.

DUKUS P. TEKUM

27.

ROBBIE BASHO
Visions of the Country

Gnome Life

I can’t feel too bad for artists who pop their clogs before their time. Everybody dies sometime, and this way you get that cool “fly in amber” effect and are considered perfect forever, even if you abused your pets or children—look at John Lennon! Robbie Basho didn’t abuse anyone, but there’s something about the way he died (fatal stroke caused by torn artery due to an experimental “intentional whiplash” treatment encouraged by his chiropractor) that makes my eyes get all sweaty and makes the medical profession look just how Tom Cruise imagines it. The next time you get a crick in your neck, it might be smarter to throw on a shawl-collar cardigan, hike to the top of a verdant hillock, and throw this reissue of perfect Hindu-inspired, guitar-focused, late-70s new age on your portable record player before you die of a stroke. Dude can also whistle, which is a talent frequently abused but rarely perfected.

GENEVIEVE MAY DOBBINS

26.

MAGIK MARKERS
Surrender to the Fantasy

Drag City

I used to use this band as my alarm clock throughout my mid-20s. That was a dark time for me. I remember one summer morning when I woke up and slammed my alarm clock on the nightstand while coughing cigarette butts out of my mouth. I stumbled into the living room to see the remnants of the jar of peanut butter I’d scarfed the night before—not by smearing it on bread, or even using one of the knives lingering in the petri dish that doubled as my sink, but by sticking the TV remote into the jar and licking the peanut butter off the buttons like a hobo. I remember feeling like Magik Markers were my only friends, and looking back I’m pretty sure they were.

JED LARSON

25.

SUUNS
Images Du Futur

Secretly Canadian

This album made me nod off into a blissful, meditative state that felt dreamy and drug-induced, like when the dentist puts the “space mask” on you. It made me want to steal a car and do more drugs, further proving that euphoria is often intertwined with mischief. It’s full of pulsing instrumentation that’s genuinely strange without purposefully catering to the avant-garde and exemplifies the same type of raw but confident swagger that underlies the best post-punk. Can, and dare, I say it also recalls the Beach Boys at their weirdest? Interested parties will dial into it immediately, as if you just dropped acid with Timothy Leary as he tells you to quit school and kill your parents.

ORANGE JULIUS SIMPSON

24.

TIM HECKER/DANIEL LOPATIN
Instrumental Tourist

Software

Mystical drone/ambient/experimental-electronic sages Tim Hecker and Daniel Lopatin (Oneohtrix Point Never) team up to coax assorted digital magic out of synthesizers and other digital apparatuses, only to slice, sort, restructure, and reassemble it with computers, probably while conducting some sort of pagan ritual. The outcome? Only the best deep and hard nighttime-car-ride soundtrack since, oh I dunno… probably Slowdive’s Pygmalion.

WILLIAM CODY WATSON

23.

CAN
The Lost Tapes

United Artists

These tapes weren’t really lost; Can just never shared them with us before because these guys understand the virtue of patience. This is coupled with the fact that Holger Czukay could just randomly select one tape from the piles of live recordings strewn about his house, slap some cover artwork on it, and it’d still be better than 90 percent of the diarrhea people are making now. Ergo, this three-disc set could have easily been two discs, and I’d still probably feel like I was getting more Can than I could handle on one album.

NICKY TOOTS

22.

DEERHUNTER
Monomania

4AD

I once saw a show where a guy in the band was making fun of Deerhunter. He mockingly said, “Hey, we’re Deerhunter! Check out our cool pedals!” But you know what? Deerhunter has some cool fucking pedals, so shut up and go to the jazz club already. Since when is having cool pedals a reason to hate a band? The implication is that anyone with cool pedals could sound like Deerhunter, but Blue Man Group has cool pedals, and Monomania only sometimes sounds like Blue Man Group. Other times it sounds like Lou Reed blowing his transvestite ultimate lover of all time through a Playskool bullhorn, while Mick Rock takes photos of the entire thing, and I am A-OH-FUCKING-KAY with that.

JFGAY

21.

LE1F
Fly Zone

Greedhead/Camp & Street

Is it me, or is the rap/hip-hop game now one where the most talented artists give their shit away for free? It’s like they record the most mind-bendingly amazing tracks, with beats as thick as maple syrup on a hot blacktop driveway, and don’t want anything in return for them. As a poor-as-shit person, maybe it’s easy for me to say this, as like a fantasy, but could it be that to make it now, the easiest thing thing a person could do is to NOT give one flat, watery shit about money? I’ve been listening to LE1F’s latest mixtape endlessly, for hours, since it came out, and it has brought me more joy than most things I can recall.

WANDA WIGGINSVILLE

20.

VERONICA FALLS
Waiting For Something to Happen

Slumberland

Have you ever listened to indie pop through a stained-glass cathedral window? Of course you haven’t, but I’m trying to create a metaphor here so just bear with me, OK? Shit. Let’s start over. Like maybe the court jester or minstrel or whatever has mistakenly discovered a record dropped by a time-traveling twee fan? And then recorded it surprisingly well with future technologies? Nope. Never mind.

ALEX HOLMES

19.

MAJICAL CLOUDZ
Impersonator

Matador

If 2011 was the year of the Joy Division tee, then 2012 was the year of the Joy Division tat, and 2013 is the year of the Joy Division frontman, which I’m fine with when it comes to Majical Cloudz because they make the inside of my head feel like a Sofia Coppola movie (and not the shitty one with Dakota Fanning’s sister). These guys have been plugging away, playing shows in basements, warehouses, and bodega backrooms up in the Great Northern Ice Box for a few years now, and they deserve all the recognition they’re getting, if only for finally realizing that †¥¶¡πg l¡k∑ †h¡§ ¡§ ∆ ¶∆¡π ¡π †h∑ ƒu¢k¡πg ∆§§.

CLAIRE DOUCHER

18.

VAR
No One Dances Quite Like My Brothers

Sacred Bones

At times, this record’s innovative, slow-moving morass of thick industrial atmosphere just makes me want to listen to more innovative, slow-moving morasses. Other times, these Danish tots and all their spooky-boogie brothers are totally good enough on their own.

MORE ASSES

17.

PHARMAKON
Abandon

Sacred Bones

I once read an article about an emerging sexual fetish known asedgeplay, which is essentially equivalent to your standard BDSM tomfoolery after butt-chugging a beer bong of Everclear—no safe words, no limits, no mercy. I’m no prude, I remember thinking, but this seems wildly irresponsible. Why would someone put themselves in such an obviously dangerous situation without a safeguard in sight? Are you really going to risk your life for an orgasm? All that being said, I think I get it now. Margaret, call me.

SASHA HECHT

16.

DIRTY BEACHES
Drifters/Love Is the Devil

Zoo

Fuck singles: 2013 is the year of the double album. If you liked Alex Zhang Hungtai’s recent record Badlands, then pick this one up too. If Badlands was a gaggle of greasers trapped in the echoing carburetor of a ’57 Chevy, then Drifters is that Chevy logging its 248,000th mile on the freeway in 1983, and Love Is the Devil is it being compacted at a scrapyard in 2007. If Badlands took your aunt to Lovers Lane to park in the dark, then Drifters brought her to a divey disco instead, and Love Is the Devil wouldn’t have had the guts to take her out at all. If Badlands were a fluorescent tube light, then Drifters is an early-model, off-color LED, and Love Is the Devil is a dimmed bulb humming on its lowest wattage. Whatever. This double album is really good, and Alex Zhang Hungtai rules.

WURM IMP

15.

PARQUET COURTS
Tally All the Things That You Broke

What's Your Rupture?

They say life on the road does odd things to the human mind, but the last time I texted Parquet Courts’ bassist Sean to ask if he’s been happy on tour, this was—I shit you not—his response: “It’s definitely not the most stable lifestyle. Horses smoking cigarettes, magic mushrooms, the fear. It’s all there, wrapped up in a poorly tied bow, mouth filled with old newspapers, the ashes of burning money peppered over the dimly lit metropolis of my past and future self’s imagination. 9/11, or worse, 9/12… fuck it may even be 9/13 at this point. Red-toothed prostitutes lumbering by a pit of bluegrass musicians plucking Dixie. Gamblers, racists, pregnant woman stomachache. A delicious quiche made from miserable ingredients. And that’s just in the last 24 hours. Alligator-skin running shoes, shellacked tortoises, tiger benzos. Chartreuse with Kunta Kinte while Reading Rainbow plays in the background. Humongous birds. It’s fucked. What the fuck is happening in your life?” This is why we love Sean and this record.

BENJAMIN SHAPIRO

14.

A$AP FERG
Trap Lord

Self-Released

A$AP Ferg used to be a fashion student. Then he dropped out of shirt-and-pants school to become a rap man who sounds like a gigantic, adorable bear. It’s usually a bad idea to sound like you’d rather be rummaging around garbage or eating seals or getting your hairy fist stuck in a honey pot, but A$AP Ferg is hilarious and these beats rock harder than a grizzly slashing through your camper top to tear your throat out.

JON DOHNSON

13.

DEAFHEAVEN
Sunbather

Deathwish

Because I have an innie instead of an outtie, I've never known the crushing embarrassment of suffering an ill-timed and unexplainable boner. I've never had the experience of being called up to the board to solve an algebra problem with my little preteen peener suddenly standing unimpressively at attention. I've never had to wrestle any part of my body into my waistband. But what this also means is that I'll never be able to describe one of my appendages as "raging" or tap a very short person on the shoulder when my hands are full. Listening to this album is the closest I'll ever come to the feeling of standing on the bow of a yacht, bowlegged in basketball shorts, with my majestic erection penetrating the ocean breeze.

SHAWTY WANNATHUG

12.

HIS ELECTRO BLUE VOICE
Ruthless Sperm

Sub Pop

By the time you hit 19, you are painfully aware that pimps in Borneo are shaving orangutans and forcing them into prostitution with humans. (All because of VICE. You're welcome.) Today's world is such a distended, bloody scrotum that bleak heroin punk doesn't have the effect it once did, and instead confirms our collective understanding that humans aren't worth our weight in itch mites. But imagine the sort of impact Ruthless Sperm would have on your co-worker's four-year-old if you forced it on him after his mommy-mandated dance lesson? It would be like that part in Shadow of a Doubt where Joseph Cotten corners teenage Teresa Wright and menacingly whispers, "Do you know the world is a foul sty? Do you know, if you rup off the fronts of houses, you'd find swine?"

BENJAMIN SHAPIRO

11.

MEDECINE
To The Happy Few

Captured Tracks

Chuck a tremolo bar into the 21st century and it’s bound to ricochet off more than one pack of pasty, underfed My Bloody Valentine nerds. Most of those kids are aloofly strumming Jazzmasters through so much delay that nothing comes out until the drummer’s limped off to grad school. You’ll find fewer bands replicating Medicine’s signature buzz: the drugged-up, androgynous tones of a murder of stoned miniature hunchbacks playing in a broken kitchen appliance. Thankfully, you don’t need anyone else; this here band hasn’t aged a day in 20 years.

CARRUTHERS

10.

VARIOUS ARTISTS
Purple Snow: Forecasting the Minneapolis Sound

Numero Group

Ah, hell yeah. Hell. Fuckin’. Yeah. I bet this four-disc survey of Minneapolis pre-Prince boner jams will set you back like $80 or something, but I got it for free and my girlfriend’s been thanking me for it ever since by reenacting scenes from Body of Evidence. Last night we threw this fucker on, and I rocked her until four in the morning sans protection, pausing only briefly to switch positions from the “Jiminy Stick-It” to the “Ferdydurke.” And to think, all this time I thought the only way to fix a broken relationship was to pork someone else every now and then.

WHACK PALANCE

9.

DESTRUCTION UNIT
Deep Trip

Sacred Bones

You know those people who sometimes point a roman candle into a crowd, or turn to you and murmur things like “I’ve seen how it all ends” with freaky assertiveness and bug eyes? Destruction Unit is fronted by one of those guys, and it makes me want to eat the pills he just handed me and drag myself through the Arizona desert to see whatever holy shit he found out there. This trip could have a few possible outcomes: we’d either have a threesome with Jodorowsky’s armless midget, end up in that acid sequence from Beavis and Butthead Do America, or lay down the theoretical groundwork for a record like this. Whatever happens, you should slam this thing into your mouth immediately. It tastes soooo good.

LONG WONG

8.

PUSHA T
My Name Is My Name

G.O.O.D. Music/Def Jam

I really miss hiding earbuds up my sleeves in ninth grade, bumping Hell Hath No Fury like I wasn’t wearing zip-off pants and a visor in Latin class. Clipse filled my boring life with unpronounceable brands, technical crack terminology, and doughnuts of ruthless violence, lightly glazed with a hint of moral ambiguity. When Malice and Pusha T split for God and G.O.O.D. respectively, I was a little bummed, and perhaps overly critical of Pusha’s solo mixtapes. This record is a welcome relief. It finds him undeniably in the zone. Six years ago, the Neptunes and Clipse taught me the meaning of stunting. Now, spurred by the kind of production only Kanye can afford, Pusha’s offering a higher education on the subject of being an attention-grabbing motherfucker.

EZRA “URBAN/TOP 40” MARCUS

7.

DANNY BROWN
Old

Fool's Gold

Danny Brown’s been our favorite rapper for a couple minutes now, even though we know he’d blast a love load on our girlfriend’s stomach if given even a pube’s worth of opportunity. Actually, we like Danny Brown so much that if VICE as an editorial collective could have a girlfriend, we’d probably let him slip it in as long as we could lay claim to any child support that may or may not result. It’s not like we’re being greedy; most of it would go to bail bondsmen and psychiatric evaluations. And that’s why we love the dude, and the reason he is able to receive fellatio onstage. And yet everyone is more offended by that (and Miley Cyrus’s dumbness) than children being gassed to death in Syria.

JACK POOSTEAU

6.

DISCLOSURE
Settle

PMR

My boyfriend never does drugs, but last year, we went to a UK dance festival in Bognor Regis—which is as grim as the town’s name suggests—and he decided that this was the perfect opportunity to double-drop for the first time. He came up just as Kevin Saunderson and Inner City performed “Good Life.” In the throws of his first chemical climax, he turned to me he said, "This is the most fantastical moment of my life forever.” At that exact moment, Papa John’s poisonous pizza decided to reverse its way out of my gut and explode in my mouth, but that's a story for another album review.

BORING KIM

5.

THE BODY
Christs, Redeemers

Thrill Jockey

The Body is one of my favorite bands because they’re basically the Christopher Hitchens of nihilist sludge as shrieked by Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. They recently relocated from Providence to Portland, and judging from this album it sounds like life up in the big Northwest blanket fort (no wonder all the racists want to move there) has pushed these dudes deeper into whatever K-hole of sightless aggression they’re currently drifting down. This one gets five upside-down crosses shoved up Regan MacNeil’s Satanic birth canal.

BSHAP

4.

KANYE WEST
Yeezus

Def Jam

Complete list of Kanye West's collaborators on Yeezus: Daft Punk, Rick Rubin, Chief Keef, Bon Iver, Kid Cudi, Arca, Young Chop, King Louie, Travis Scott, Hudson Mohawke, Mike Dean, Papa John, Johnny DiGiornio, Speedy Domino, Francois Pizza Hut, Lexus Sbarro, Little Caesar. The joke here is pizza. Also, this album rules.

KANYE VEST

3.

DEAN BLUNT
The Redeemer

Hippos In Tanks/World Music

People like Dean Blunt make music the way other people clean sinks: tossing cultural scraps into a garbage disposal and emerging with a mess of ambient noise, film samples, gunshots, and smeary electro-dub. He typically keeps the presence of the artist at a distance, but Blunt’s solo work has been teasing an approach toward greater clarity for a while now. The Redeemer is like listening to the unsolicited life story of a stranger on the subway—raw, vulnerable, potentially unhinged, yet by the end of the ride, you’ve somehow given him your number and a hickey.

XXX_MUSICISMYLIFE69_XXX@HOTMAIL.NET

2.

VARIOUS ARTISTS
The I Am The Center: Private Issue New Age Music in America, 1950-1990

Light In The Attic

Wait, what? A small Seattle reissue label drops a sprawling three-LP collection of private press new age and it didn't make your top 50? At VICE, we're all about healing, and this record healed the fuck out of me. Most new age music is cheesy trash, but Yoga Records's Douglas McGowan came correct on this one. The music is glacial, ambient drones, made from analog synths, harps, and pure sine waves. Plus there's no annoying vocals to get in the way. Ever since I got it my chakras have locked into place, my nerves are 100% soothed, any hint of aggression has been cleansed from my mind, and I'm ready to lie down and accept whatever ungoldy shit the world might throw at me like a good little slave, because I deserve it.

SE7EN SISTERS

1.

THE YELLOW RIVER BOYS
Urinal St. Station

Drag City

You guessed it: Tim Heidecker made ten songs about drinking piss, written "for those who believe the human mouth smiles the most when it's being used as a makeshift urinal." You're welcome.

DAN THANKS

 

Stay tuned for VICE's Worst 50 Albums of 2013, coming later this week.

VICE Premiere: Metronomy's "I'm Aquarius" Music Video Is a Cosmic Rabbit Hole

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Metronomy's "I'm Aquarius" Music Video Is a Cosmic Rabbit Hole

The VICE Podcast - Hilton Als on Writing and Race

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This week on the podcast, Reihan Salam welcomes Hilton Als, the theater writer for the New Yorker and one of America's most daring and inventive critics. In his latest book, White Girls, Als blends criticism and memoir in a series of interlinked reflections on race, sex, and art, and he discusses the book with Reihan along with his early years as a writer and what it means to cross boundaries of class, color, and culture.

Previously on the Podcast: The $500 Billion Scrap Industry

Is Montreal's Mayor Serious about a Massage Parlour Crackdown?

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Glamor shots from Lily's profile on "Montrealaise," an online directory of Montreal sex workers and erotic masseuses.

Lily jerks off men for a living at an east end Montreal massage parlour. She loves her job. Sometimes she massages her clients’ prostates, and sometimes she pees on them. She doesn’t give blowjobs or have sex with her clients, though. “I know some girls are more open-minded,” she says. “But not in my case.” She makes about $50,000 a year, pays her taxes and, most importantly, feels safe where she works.

Lily is not a drug addict. She doesn’t have a pimp. She’s 29 and Quebecoise. Over the phone she sounds bright, fun, and articulate. She doesn’t fit the profile of the kind of masseuse that Montreal’s new mayor Denis Coderre and his administration are looking to crack down on.

Coderre, a former federal Liberal cabinet minister elected last month, announced shortly after taking the mayor’s chair that one of his priorities was cleaning up the city’s many, many massage parlours. How many there are is difficult to calculate—but a rough estimate by several sources puts the number between 250 and 350 on the island. Counting the greater Montreal area, there are probably well over 400.

It’s no secret that most massage parlours often offer a lot more than a simple massage. Most erotic salons have, at a minimum, naked masseuses and a handy box of Kleenex nearby. Some, Lily acknowledges, offer “full service” (that means sex). She also says that others offer sex with underage girls, or girls trafficked from East Asia or Eastern Europe or Latin America. But that, she says, is a tiny percentage of the total.

So Lily, and many other people in the city, are wondering if the mayor’s crusade against the rub and tug industry is political grandstanding or a genuine concern. The industry is deeply worried that it’s the latter.

Yannick Chicoine runs La Montrealaise, a massage parlour on Hochelaga Street. He’s also the spokesman for the newly created Quebec Association of Erotic Massage Parlours (ASMEQ), formed in the wake of Coderre’s announcement. Yannick, like Lily, insists the overtly criminal establishments that hire underage or trafficked women represent a tiny percentage of the market.

“We offer great service in a legitimate way,” he says. “We want to follow the rules and collaborate with city officials.”

His organization currently represents about 30 massage parlours in the city, but he’s keen on expanding it. He says his associates are all strictly above board, run clean establishments, and see a real need to clarify and regulate the industry.

“We offer a safe environment,” he says. “We give the girls schedules, training, advice, we work closely with [sex workers’ rights group] Stella—and any girl that needs help can go to Stella and get options in order to get out of the industry.”

In a perfect world, Yannick would like to see massage parlours regulated, with clear rules on where and how they can operate. He wants no part of the truly awful side of the industry, which clearly exists, in Montreal as elsewhere. But he would like to see established lines along which he can operate. One part of the solution is fixing the issuing of permits. Unlike other big Canadian cities, Montreal’s licenses are spread over 19 boroughs, and cover very different industries, creating a lot of confusion while opening up the door to a whole host of problems.

“Toronto and Vancouver separate their licenses between therapeutic and erotic massage parlours,” he says. “In Montreal, you have the same license for hairdressers, nail filers, tanning salons and erotic massages.”

Sex workers in Montreal have had to do a lot of moving around over the past few years. Ever since the city decided that the nerve center for its interminable annual festivals would be within spitting distance of its former red light district around St-Laurent and Ste-Catherine streets, Montreal’s working girls have been scattered hither and yon, moving mostly indoors. Which means they’re popping up in strip clubs, escort agencies, and massage parlours.

But cops already regularly scope these places out, says Stella’s director Emilie Laliberte, and they already have enough tools at their disposal to properly police the industry—provided their resources are used efficiently. She’s hoping Coderre’s plan will target the establishments with real problems and not bust women like Lily. Closing down the massage parlours would do nothing but drive the industry further underground and into darker corners, she argues. That would put the women in more danger, away from resources that help them and even further stigmatize them.

It would be nice, both Yannick and Emilie say, if they knew what the mayor’s plan was. Both have tried repeatedly to get in touch with the mayor and his representatives to discuss the issue, to no avail.

Yesterday, Dec. 17, was the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. And there remains a fair amount of room for debate about the nature of sex work (including on this website, with strong opinions from Sarah Ratchford and Meghan Murphy), Friday, Dec. 20 is going to be a big day for the industry. That’s when the Supreme Court of Canada delivers its verdict on Bedford vs Canada, which will either upend the country’s prostitution laws or cement them.

Maybe Denis Coderre, savvy politician that he is, is being quiet for a reason.

 

@patricklejtenyi

A Look Inside Illegal Vancouver Grow-Ops from the 1990s

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Sometime between 1996 and 1997, photographer Victor John Penner did a pro-bono shoot for Jim Skipp, a graphic designer friend in Vancouver, that included photographing a police chopper and some officers. A few years later one of those cops asked him to photograph some grow houses as they were being busted, so they could submit pics for some sort of “crime fighting award." For Victor it sounded like an awesome opportunity to gain a veritable backstage pass to what was then a mostly unexplored and shady underground scene. His response was a resounding "fuck yeah!" The project became the series “Not Safe to Occupy,” named after the warning the cops would tack to the door of grow houses after every bust. We recently asked Victor about this haunting, candid series.

VICE: Can you give us some context on what things were like in Vancouver back when you shot these?
Victor: I think that, back then, the citizens of Vancouver were blissfully ignorant about what was going on in every neighborhood as far as grow houses went, but in general, pot has been such a part of the fabric of the city that they stopped paying attention to its casual use. 

At the time that I shot this, there was definitely organized crime running the show. But, they were much more low profile than the explosion of very public gang violence that happened here in 2009 when there were 20 killed and 40 wounded in the first three months of the year, while the street price of BC Bud hit $3,000 USD and up, per pound. 

What was the process like for taking these photos?
I would get a call to meet them early in the morning at a random place for coffee, never the same place twice in a row. They would have a list of the grow-ops that they were going to bust that day and they would give me the location of where they were going to search for the first one. They would roll out in various marked and unmarked vehicles and I would go in my own, usually in a different direction than they did. Everyone would get out of the vehicles at the meeting place which was usually just down the block, but out of sight of the grow house. Here they would put on armor, check their weapons, and co-ordinate what each person’s task and position would be. I always hung back and I never took any pictures, as a matter of fact I never photographed any of the squad, which was a direct order. 

As they got into position around the location I stayed in my vehicle but in sight of them. They would go to the door, pound, ID themselves, yell, "we have a warrant!" and bash the door off the hinges with a battering ram in about ten seconds! I would usually hang for a minute while they were doing this, then exit my vehicle with my camera bag and wait on the front lawn. When they had cleared the house they would call me in and I would photograph the grow rooms as found with plants, lights, power etc. After doing that, they would pull down any lightproof, black out materials on the windows and BC Hydro would kill power to the house. I would continue shooting around the grow rooms while they were seizing the plants and equipment and when I had enough I would go photograph the rest of the house which was usually incredible. 

When they had finished busting the grow, they would screw the door back on and post a notice on it that says "Not Safe to Occupy", which is what I have called this body of work. 

I shot this whole series handheld with my 35mm Nikons on color negative, available light.

What was it like working with the Vancouver PD?
I had met this cop who asked me to come out to take pics the first time and after that went okay, I asked to go out again and again and it grew from there. The other guys on the squad were a little uneasy with me being there at first but eventually they chilled out and pretty much ignored me. I shot fairly regularly when I wasn't out of town on commercial gigs and then eventually it was starting to look all the same so I moved on to other things. In 2002, this squad was going to do their 1000th Grow House bust and asked me to come and take pics again. I guess that they were way more comfortable with me because almost all of them started giving me "creative direction" until I told them to "point the fucking guns and I'll take the photos!" a couple of months later they gave me a plaque with that engraved on it.

Who said cops don’t have a sense of humor. What was it like in the actual grows?
The very first grow that I went in with this squad was a quaint little bungalow in a nice family neighborhood, but inside it was a full on factory. It was amazing! I have been sober for many years but, personal choices aside, the sheer criminal ingenuity was impressive, and visually it was more than I expected. As a matter of fact, less than twenty minutes into it I said, "This should be a book!" They stopped pulling out plants, stared at me and asked, "What the fuck are you talking about?!" I guess they didn't feel as visually stimulated as me.

Did you ever feel unsafe?
I didn't ever feel unsafe because there was hardly ever anyone in the grow houses when they were busted. The police always raided them on either a Wednesday or Thursday and the people running these places would usually "take the day off”. If there were someone there they would be cuffed and taken outside. Sometimes there were pitbulls but they were usually more into wanting to play than biting you. 

I was creeped out sometimes just because the places were so fucking moldy with lots of crazy exposed wiring and rotten walls and floors. I was also a little nervous that I might get "made." I grew up in East Van where "snitches get stitches" and I certainly didn't want anyone thinking I was a narc. This is actually the reason that I haven't shown the work before now, I figured that enough time has passed that most of the places I photographed are forgotten about. I had the first public showing of this work as "Not Safe to Occupy" at Gallery 295 during the Capture Photography Festival in October and it will be at The Gordon Smith Gallery of Canadian Art in February 2014.  So far I haven't been shot, so fingers crossed for the future.

In your experience, how did the law enforcement feel about these places and the war on marijuana in general?
In my opinion—and I never discussed this with them—it was just a job. I think that they could be on their game and roll in hot six times or more in a day, once a week, and after a year or so rotate out of the squad when they were bored. I don't think that any of them thought they were making a dent or impact on the "war" because they told me that there were an estimated 10,000 grow houses in the Greater Vancouver Area at that time, and the yield was $1,000,000 per house a year. They were busting around 300 grows a year, so it’s not hard to see it isn't doing much. I really believe that in the future my photos will be looked at like we do now at pictures of alcohol prohibition from the 1920s and 30s. We'll laugh that it was illegal and maybe in 40 years when it’s all "Big Marijuana" there will be a Discovery channel show about illegal grows like they do with "Moonshiners" now.

That would be great. There's a sort of haunted feeling to some of these photos, like they were almost normal living spaces suddenly abandoned, I’m thinking specifically about some of the bedrooms and that half-prepared sandwich.
Only a few of the houses were really "lived" in, most of the them had caretakers that might sleep there but they all put up appearances of living there by decorating the front room, or all of the upstairs so that it looked occupied. Hiding in plain sight is the best way to put it and it’s one of the main things that I found so fascinating in each house, because it was usually so shitty looking but it fooled almost everyone in the neighborhood. I loved the bedrooms also and they make up the biggest series in the show. 

I felt like a voyeur because I wasn't invited by the owners and I want the viewers to feel like they are inside the grow houses by themselves, where they shouldn't be. They do feel "haunted and abandoned." Some viewers at my exhibition kept asking how the police let me in there, and they didn't believe me when I told them that the house was full of a dozen or so police while I was photographing.

The sandwich is hands-down the photo that gets the strongest reaction from viewers. Someone was making it when they smashed the door down and it was the first thing I saw when I came in. If anything symbolizes how basic and not glamorous a grow house is, it would be this house-brand pastrami with mayo 'n mustard on white, "gangsta" sandwich. 

Did working on this project affect your view on marijuana prohibition?
You can see how it would be easy to go "breaking bad" and have a farm in your house, but if you are not growing it for your own consumption, I wouldn't forget to put body armor on your shopping list. 

As I said, I'm sober, so it’s not part of my life anymore but I don't judge. This work is about how I see this, the hiding in plain sight, the subterfuge under your nose, I like this part a lot. I can't see how prohibition is in any way working and I do think that the money is too tempting for the government not to want their taste. It will be legalized, eventually, and then some graphic designer will use this vibe to market some organic pot just like they do with Sleeman, Baccardi and Canadian Club. 

 

Rastaman Rob Ford Dances for Dogecoins in City Hall

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Rastaman Rob Ford Dances for Dogecoins in City Hall

Angry Mobs and Revenge Killings in the Central African Republic

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Photos by Robert King

The mob wanted blood. Almost 100 people, many of them barely teenagers, had massed in front of the gates of Friendship Hospital, kept at bay only by French soldiers and their armed personnel carriers (APCs). Earlier that day, five Muslims had been killed by Christians in the embattled neighborhoods of PK 5 and Combattant. One Muslim man, badly beaten, had escaped by running into the hospital, hoping the French troops stationed there would be able to provide protection.

Though a semblance of normality has returned to the Central African Republic’s capital city of Bangui—taxis prowl the streets and many markets have re-opened—reconciliation between Muslims and Christians is still proving extremely difficult. Nightly outbreaks of violence and revenge killings continue unabated.

Minutes before we arrived at the hospital, we’d met with members of JUPEDEC, a local NGO staffed by Central Africans. Initially founded more than a decade ago to combat and encourage defections from Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army (the army operates in the southeast portion of the country), JUPEDEC is now tasked with helping to bring peace to Bangui.

In addition to its reconciliation efforts, the NGO runs medical clinics, works with the media, and provides special care for women, children, and the elderly. It also provides much-needed psychological counseling for kids who have witnessed horrific acts of violence.

Pastor Armand Bembissot Kebela is in charge of providing that kind of counseling, and right now he is very, very busy. “Many children have seen soldiers killing people and houses being burned down,” he told us. “And if we don’t do something for these children, we don’t know what they will be like in five or ten years. Everybody is traumatized”

In addition to dealing with the children themselves, Kebela trains teachers to recognize signs of trauma in young students and help them cope. But in a country where there’s almost no money for basics like food, water, and medicine—JUPEDEC receives little outside financial aid—Kebala must make do with what he has, which isn’t much.

I asked the pastor if dealing with the traumatized had traumatized him. “You have to cry,” he said. “I just met a child in Damara. Her father was killed by the Seleka and then they kidnapped her mother. We feel very bad. We can’t help them. We can’t give them food. We can’t give them houses. We can’t do anything. We only can try to give them hope.”

Lewis Alexis Mbolinani, the coordinator of JUPEDEC, took us to a packed medical clinic in the mixed Muslim-Christian neighborhood of Malimaka. The clinic treated both Muslims and Christians, and was staffed by doctors of both faiths; JUPEDEC had set up the clinic with a twofold purpose. “We’re using the mobile clinic as a tool of peace,” Mbolinani explained.

He had reached out to religious leaders from both sides to encourage their community members to come to the clinic, in the hope of fostering peace. “Every day we give speeches about peaceful reconciliation,” he said. “We see what we can do to resolve this conflict and to promote the idea of pardons, to beg the pardons of each other so all can live in peace.“

JUPEDEC aims to encourage reconciliation in hopes of breaking the cycle of revenge that continues tearing apart the city. “It is not easy to resolve or stop something like this,” said Marius Sebastien, JUPEDEC’s program officer. “But I’m convinced that little by little, the people will agree and peace will come back.”

Sebastien blamed the widening religious conflict on the emergence of the Seleka, and the manipulations of civil society by politicians. Now, though, he sees a change that frightens him. “We cannot avoid the fact that religion takes an important place in the conflict,” he said. “The people got along before, we were one people the same… why before we didn’t have this problem?”

Back outside the hospital gates, some young men in the mob pointed out dried bloodstains on the dirt. The previous week, former Seleka rebels had taken 12 people out of the hospital and executed them on the spot. Now the young men wanted revenge on the already injured Muslim hiding in the hospital.

They wouldn’t get it. The French troops eventually put the injured man in an APC and escorted him past the angry men, who jeered as the APC drove away. At one point, one man’s voice was heard yelling above the others:

“We’re going to find you someday!”

@DGisSERIOUS

From Insanity to Death: Inside Burma’s Drug Eradication Museum

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All photos by Alex Palmer

A few hundred feet from glittering Junction Square Shopping Center, in the center of Burma’s former capital city Yangon, you’ll find the crumbling Drugs Elimination Museum. As an insight into the strangeness and paranoia that has pervaded Burmese society for decades—and that still linger today despite the country’s abrupt turn towards democracy and capitalism—the museum is sublime.

The first thing that strikes you about the museum compound is its eerie, Miss Havisham’s-house quiet. While most of Yangon is alive with the din and energy of the city's nearly 6 million inhabitants, the museum grounds are oppressively silent, unkempt, and nearly abandoned. The dense tropical vegetation lurking outside the walls seems poised to swallow the museum whole at any minute. Out front is a defunct water fountain, flanked by a garden overrun with weeds and brush. The packs of stray dogs that roam the compound easily outnumber visitors and employees combined, and flocks of black birds swoop by as they please.

Visitors are welcomed into the museum by a large portrait of junta leader Senior General Than Shwe, and a quote that is at once strange, defiant, and obsessively self-confident— “The drug abuse control because it is related to all the people of the entire world is a very huge and difficult task. We are willing to warmly welcome sincere participation by anybody. Even if there is no assistance whatsoever, we will do our utmost with whatever resources and capability we have in our hands to fight this drug menace threatening the entire humanity.”

A similar quote nearby, from another general, declares, “The big nations are giving human rights, democracy, and drug elimination as excuses in applying various means to dominate the small nations.” Independent newspapers are flourishing across Myanmar—but the legacy of five decades of leaders who equated freedom of speech with heroin use persists, even as the Drug Museum crumbles.

In the 1990s, at the peak of Myanmar’s opium production, the country’s ruling military junta—desperate for good P.R. after a series of crushed pro-democracy protests invited international condemnation—launched its very own war on drugs. At the time, there were almost 650 square miles of opium-producing fields scattered throughout Myanmar, and 80 percent of New York City’s street heroin arrived by way of Southeast Asia’s notorious Golden Triangle. The United States Embassy released a report in 1996 concluding that Myanmar’s “exports of opiates appear to be worth as much as all legal exports.”

The Drugs Eradication Museum was built in 2001 to commemorate the ongoing war on drugs and to educate the public about the dangers of drug use. On the first floor, visitors are introduced to the basics of the drug trade in Myanmar. Wall-sized maps display world heroin and cocaine trafficking routes, with rainbows of Brite Lite bulbs showing drugs pulsating outwards from Myanmar to markets in North America, Europe, and Russia.

Father on, black and white photos of stern-faced state leaders receiving education in drug prevention flank meticulous records of military offensives, which document the precise quantity of detonators, magazines, bombs, and drugs captured in each operation. Against the walls are life-sized mannequins of soldiers reenacting the greatest hits of the army’s drug war, complete with pints of fake blood.

Though the museum’s exhibits tout countless government successes, Myanmar’s efforts to stamp out drug use have had mixed results. Myanmar’s opium production peaked at 1,800 metric tons in 1993, decreasing 80 percent by 2006. Now, however, opium poppy farming is back on the rise. In 2005, the United Nations Office of Drug and Crime estimated that 200 square miles of Myanmar’s farmland were devoted to opium production, and in 2012 that number increased by 17 percent. Today, Myanmar is the world’s second largest producer of opium, behind only Afghanistan.

But opium is only part of the problem: Myanmar is now the world’s largest producer of methamphetamine. In 2010 alone, the country exported one billion tablets to neighboring Thailand, including the wildly-popular Yaba (“madness drug”), a potent mix of methamphetamines and caffeine that was invented for horses laboring in hilly, undeveloped rural Myanmar.

A toxic combination of corruption, poverty, and ethnic conflict make drug production especially intractable in Myanmar. For years, the junta discreetly encouraged and supported the drug trade: profits were laundered exclusively through companies owned by junta leaders and their friends, keeping those in power rich and happy. The same economic motivation applies at the bottom of society: poor rural farmers can earn nine to 15 times more profit per acre on opium than on rice. Opium is also a safer investment, since the price is less susceptible to changes in the global market. More than 90 percent of the country’s production originates in the large and lawless Shan State, where ethnic insurgent armies promote opium production as a source of funds for their battle against the central government. Rather than acknowledging these deep-seated local drivers of the drug trade, though, the first floor of the museum closes with a life-size diorama of a mischievous Westerner—complete with a pink blazer and black top hat—arriving via steamship to introduce drugs into Burmese society. For the junta, obsessed with closing off Myanmar to the outside world, drugs were just another foreign menace to be stamped out via the “Burmese Way to Socialism.”

Upstairs, the museum’s second floor serves as an odd shrine to dozens of generals. As you’d expect in a country run by a junta, every painting in the Drugs Eradication Museum—state leaders in fields of poppy, state leaders greeting honest farmers, state leaders directing military advances—crams in as many leaders as possible. The Central Committee for Drug Abuse Control is extensively documented, as are the strategies, methods, and tactics adopted by the Central Committee in the drug war.

Judging by the size of the accompanying signs, Central Committee is most proud of two accomplishments: cooperation with regional allies—each country in Southeast Asia, as well as China and the United States, gets its own exhibit—and wiping out ingredients and tools (“precursors”) used for drug production. “NO PRECURSORS NO DRUGS” declares one display in ceiling-high 3-D letters, like an elementary school student’s warped PowerPoint project. On each letter of “NO DRUGS” is a different precursor to drug production, from assorted machinery to chemicals and illicit crops.

The most popular second-floor display is a photo collection of captured drug producers and drug traffickers, who have been made to stand beside their illicit goods with heads hanging low in shame. Beside the mugshots are photos of bulldozers crushing the captured drugs, which have been arranged in elaborate flower-like patterns for demolition, and state leaders pressing buttons to incinerate the drugs in grand explosions. An interactive display gives visitors the chance to try their own hand at lighting drugs on fire, but unfortunately it’s broken. As consolation, the museum has posted printed PowerPoint slides tracking Myanmar’s declining opium production—but the slide cuts off just as production begins to increase in 2006.

On the third floor, the education aspect of the museum veers into nightmarish warnings. Coming off the elevator, visitors are greeted with a colorful wall-length mural depicting all of Myanmar in joyous celebration. “WITHOUT DRUGS LIFE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL,” it says, leading you straight to the drug display unit, where hundreds of fist-sized ecstasy and methamphetamine pills are displayed and extensively documented by name (Adam, Boomerang, Dino, V.I.P., Cal, PT, Pigs, Superman…). The exhibit anticipates the fun you might get out of the colors and cartoonish names of the pills. “These tablets look beautiful,” it says, “but the dangers in using them are much, too much…”

If the pills have lifted your spirits, the next exhibit is there to drag you back to earth. Five snapshots, each illustrated with life-sized mannequins and background paintings, trace the life of a young Burmese boy. When we begin, the boy is thriving. “Some flowers are blooming,” the first snapshot says, and we see the boy, well-dressed and smiling, standing in a beautiful field of flowers with his classmates. Next door, where “Some flowers are pale, poisoned by Drugs,” the light is an ominous dark purple as young men inject and smoke various drugs. “Say no – to drugs” warns the third snapshot, but it is already too late: the boy sits on a white stool, disheveled and high out of his mind, looking older than his years.

Then the real consequences begin. The fourth snapshot, “Stimulant drugs – stairway to insanity” is packed with people dying in creative ways: one man jumps off a bus, another hangs himself, a third dies of disease, and a woman stabs herself in the wrist with a knife, her face emotionless as blurt spurts out. Finally comes the final snapshot: “From insanity to death,” a hellish landscape of decaying bodies cast across an abandoned graveyard. Worms crawl out of decomposing intestines and a wild-eyed pig devours a dead man’s shoulder as a vulture watches silently from a nearby tree.

Lest you conclude that their own death by stimulant drugs is imminent, visitors leave the graveyard scene to arrive at an extensive display of the junta’s efforts to keep Myanmar safe. Public education campaigns, crop subsidies, “electronic media” units (computers, circa 1980) are on prominent display alongside a mock rehabilitation center. At the center of the third floor, a huge painting shows junta members marching triumphantly down a red carpet, flanked by dancing, cheering peasants on both sides and a golden rainbow above.

Rather than close on this happy image, the museum has a final exhibit documenting “Victims of Drug” by drug type. The walls are lined with graphic photos of sick, emaciated, and dying drug users; a mural on “Horrors of Drug Abuse” is introduced by a menacing skeleton motioning toward you to join him. At the skeleton’s feet are jars of decomposed brains, livers, kidneys, and miscarried fetuses, all, we are told, the results of illicit drug use.

Back at the entrance, a security guard and the front desk workers are napping. Their boredom is hardly surprising—the museum’s rare visitors are mostly curious foreigners. For Burmese, there is a much more enticing attraction just down the road: the bustling new Junction Square mall, with its gleaming, foreign shops, packed food court, and cinema.

Worshipping at the Altar of Maximón, the Drunken, Devilish Mayan God Beloved in Guatemala

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A shrine to Maximón in Santiago Atitlan, Guatemala. All photos by the author

Depending on who you ask, Maximón is Satan, a Catholic saint, or a relic of the pre-colonial Mayan religion. Everyone can agree on what he looks like, at least: He’s a dapper, mustachioed gentleman in a black suit and sombrero. You'll never mistake him because he's always smoking a cigarette or large cigar, and his houses of worship are filled with burning candles, bottles of rum or Quetzalteca grain alcohol, and other offerings from his supplicants.

“He's friends with the saints,” an elderly Maya man named Pablo said of Maximón as we wound our way through a series of dark, narrow, smoky allies on our way to the deity's house in the lakeside town of Santiago Atitlan, in southern Guatemala.

Santiago Atitlan is where the worship of Maximón (pronounced Ma-shi-mon in Mayan dialects) takes its most ancient and indigenous form. There he is rarely if ever referred to San Simon, which is what many Catholics call him. The deity’s statue is looked after by a group of men who take turns housing it; every year a different private house is converted into a sanctuary for Maximón.

Since Maximón is both a remnant of an old faith and a figure venerated by many Catholics, his altars are crowded with all kinds of conflicting imagery—icons of the Virgin Mary, but also taxidermied animals hanging from the low ceiling. The priests who speak to him in the Tz'utujil Maya dialect remain constantly drunk off of Quetzalteca (a necessary part of the process), and the air is choked with cigar and cigarette smoke.

The day I visited Santiago Atitlan, two shamans, completely in the bag and dressed in traditional indigenous clothing, knelt on either side of a man who was “sick in the head” according to Pablo. They gesticulated wildly amid the small bottles of Quetzalteca scattered on the floor, beseeching their god to heal the supplicant.

Scenes like that are why the Catholic Church has a pretty low opinion of Maximón. “He's the devil,” a priest named Hugo Estrada recently told the Guatemalan newspaper Prensa Libre.

Abelardo Ruiz Perez, a leader of the Archdiocese of Solala, an area near Santiago Atitlan that’s home to many indigenous people, said, “Maximón is a phenomenon of the gravest religious corruption… Only God may know the destruction of souls and bodies.”

The Church officially considers prayers to Maximón to be witchcraft, and wild, grisly urban legends about his congregants circulate among the Christian community—even though many of Maximón’s fans are Catholics who consider him to be a saint (or, as Pablo has it, at least in the saints’ social circle).

Worshippers in front of a statue of Maximón in San Andrés Itzapa.

The worship of Maximón is thought to have begun around the time of the Spanish conquest, and since then it has grown in Central America as Catholicism took root. Maximón's designation as a Catholic saint by many of his worshipers is a classic case of religious mixing; San Simon has allowed many Maya to keep traditional ceremonies and medicines intact while still participating in the dominant religion of the colonists. Not incidentally, the worship of Maximón gives people a way to pray for worldly goods (a practice not usually endorsed by Christianity) while smoking cigars and drinking rum.

Admittedly, prayers to Maximón can seem pretty demonic. The Oracion del Puro (“Prayer of Purity” or “Prayer of the Cigar”), which is thought to grant personal protection, begins with an ominous invocation: “I conjure you pure, in the name of Satan, Luzbel, and Lucifer… Dogs bark, cats howl, children cry, and thus as you conquered the heart of your father and of your mother, thus you had conquered the heart of [the subject's name] for me, so that I will go singing through all regions until the seventh region.”

Mostly, though, Maximón is less of a devil than a transactional god. Oracion de las Siete Velas (“The Oration of the Seven Candles”), an important text for Maximón's followers, lists all the different things they can ask him for. Green candles are associated with Wednesdays and the planet Mercury and bring “hope; mastery over a loved person; a good outcome in a business negotiation, employment, or the lottery; the cure for a vice or bad influences; and to exile bad things.” Black candles, on the other hand, are associated with Saturdays and Jupiter and are burned to “confound an enemy, doubters, enviers, and betrayers and to remove a bad neighbor and murmuring tongues.”

Shamans burn offerings to Maximón outside of his temple in San Andrés Itzapa.

The worship of Maximón differs greatly from person to person and from place to place. San Andrés Itzapa, a town not far away from Santiago Atitlan, is deeply infatuated with the god, but instead of households shrines, residents have constructed a massive temple to Maximón at the opposite end of town from the Catholic church.

It’s one of the most popular shrines to Maximón in the region—people travel from all around Guatemala, Mexico, El Salvador, and Belize to burn offerings to him. Out front, shamans set fire to piles of flowers, corn, and candles in public sacrifices every day. There is a nearby cantina where pilgrims can buy different colored candles, bottles of Quetzalteca, and cigars. A sign delivers a message from Maximón: at this shrine, negativity is not allowed. “I entreat that you do not come to me with a fist of candles to seek evil against your brothers, because the damage that you ask for them will be given to you,” it says. “Don't waste my time coming dressed like a sheep if inside you are a wolf.”

The pilgrims line up on one side of the temple’s main room and slowly move up to the altar, where they leave rum, bread, Quetzalteca, cigars, or money. The walls are decorated with Christmas bunting (‘tis the season, after all), and multicolored candles cover rows of simple metal tables. When I visited, a mariachi band was performing hymns to Maximón or San Simon—the names are interchangeable here.

Inside the temple in San Andrés Itzapa.

Those whose prayers have been answered purchase embossed plaques to be hung in the temple. These plaques usually include the names of the supplicants, where they are from, and what they asked for. They commemorate all kinds of favors: help in love, good health, or success in business. “Thank you for the money,” tends to be popular, as does, “Thank you, San Simon, for the new motorcycle.”

Anecdotally, the Guatemalan press has claimed that the worship of Maximón has declined in recent decades due to the rapid growth of evangelical churches, but this is difficult to measure with any certainty. In any case, he’s still a powerful figure in Santiago Atitlan and San Andrés Itzapa. It’s easy to see why: The Guatemalan government seems powerless to bring an end to the poverty, corruption, and violence that has plagued the country, and Jesus isn’t the guy to ask for a new motorcycle. Maximón is a useful psychological conduit for many people who want to express a desire to better their lives.

That said, the whole black magic aspect helps as well. One resident of Santiago Atitlan, Marcos Lopez, explained to Prensa Libre why many are afraid to get rid of their personal statues of Maximón: “True or not, here it is thought that if you cease to worship, it can bring misfortune. Others believe that nothing will happen. To be secure, it is better to leave him in peace.”

There's a Tiny Chance Pussy Riot Could Be Released Tomorrow

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Pussy Riot's Katia Samutsevich. Photo by Olga Kravets

Despite the fact that most of the civilized world is upset about the Russian establishment's treatment of dissidents, so far Vladimir Putin has deflected pretty much all of the flak coming his way with a macho, iron fist. Not even finding himself in the eye of the Sochi Olympics media storm has forced him to budge. But yesterday, that depressing situation appeared to get a bit brighter when preliminary approval was granted to an amnesty bill that could see his balaclava-clad antagonizers Pussy Riot freed from prison. 

Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina, the two feminist punks currently locked up in their homeland, could be released as early as tomorrow, though it could technically take up to six months for the bill to come into effect. Also, the two girls are due to be freed in March anyway, but when Russian politicians display any kind of mercy—the country's parliament passed the Putin-backed bill by 446 votes to nothing—it tends to make headlines.

The lengthy Pussy Riot trial has been heavily criticized for breaking several articles of the European Convention on Human Rights. The evidence against the group included claims that their feminism is incompatible with Orthodox religion and so they're instigating hatred. The main flaw here is that the band didn't stage their anti-Putin “Punk Prayer” protest in February 2012 to offend religious people. They protested against a Russian state that they feel borders on the theocratic, and their punishment is proof that the legislative offspring of the cozy church-state relationship is bad news for anyone who doesn’t conform to Russia’s nationalist, family-orientated values.

Locking Pussy Riot up for singing in a church was clearly a calculated way to teach anti-Putin protesters a lesson, and finding public support for such a lesson isn't tough in Russia's media climate. Putin recently shut down the state media agency Ria Novosti to replace it with a more supportive propaganda machine. But, as karma tends to have it, using Pussy Riot to set an example has backfired on Putin. The girls quickly rose to international attention and, inconveniently for Russia's leader, every detail of their trial, jail terms, and anticipated release is being closely scrutinized.

Analysis of the amnesty bill—which should also free the 30 Greenpeace activists currently lost in the Russian prison system—will now center around Putin's motivations for not just allowing this to happen, but actively encouraging it. The president ostensibly proposed the amnesty to celebrate the country's post-Soviet constitution, but many believe he had ulterior motives. Could Putin be trying to lessen the media blow that seems inevitable following the March release of the jailed members of Pussy Riot? Or is it an attempt to dab away at some ugly stains on Russia’s human rights record ahead of Sochi?

Either way, it’s a tiny, comfortable step that will inevitably stir up some positive PR for Russia, without improving much for long-term political prisoners like former oligarch and opposition supporter Mikhail Khodorkovsky. So far, the bill only applies to mothers (both incarcerated Pussy Riot members are mothers), pregnant women, the elderly, and soldiers jailed for minor crimes, as well as anyone put away on charges of hooliganism, or for participating in mass riots. Nonetheless, this is a victory for Russia’s unorthodox civil society, because Putin is finally nodding to international pressure, even if he's not yet fully bowing to it.

This summer, I met up with Pussy Riot's Katya Samutsevich in Moscow to interview her for our upcoming film on Russia’s state-sanctioned homophobia. Katia was freed after an appeal in October 2012, and when we met her, she was hard at work trying to appeal her fellow feminist punks’s sentences with the help of lawyers and human rights groups. Her efforts were rejected at the time but are finally bearing fruit. 

VICE: How did Pussy Riot come about?
Katya Samutsevich:
How did we create this band? First we became actively interested in feminism. We were already interested in the idea of feminism, but that was the moment we decided to find out if there were any feminist artists in Russia. Honestly, we searched for a long time and we couldn’t find anything. As we researched further and further we learned about the second feminist wave in the US, which included punk feminism. We liked this idea and started searching for punk feminist bands in Russia. And again, we didn’t find any. Maybe they exist, but they are not seen. Which got us quite upset. Why does that not exist in Russia? we thought. So we formed our own feminist punk band. We had to make it because it didn't exist. Then we came up with the name, the image and started performing.

How come you were released from prison and the other two girls weren’t?
I changed my lawyer and this new lawyer came up with a pretty big procedural mistake. He found that in the verdict, there was no description of my actions, so although the court officially sentenced me to two years in prison, the verdict was not actually handed down to me. The lawyer pointed out this mistake at the hearing on October 10. The court realized they'd made that mistake and tried to cover it up. If they admitted to it, they would have to cancel the verdict. To avoid that, they gave me a suspended sentence, but left Masha and Nadia’s sentences as they were.

A suspended sentence means restricted travel. I am under an agreement not to leave Moscow. I have to get special permission from the penitentiary inspection in order to leave Moscow and I can’t leave Russia under any circumstances. I also can’t violate any laws—even a minor administrative infraction could increase the suspended sentence, or send me back to jail. It’s a pretty strong restriction, although I am able to travel around the city. That's a huge advantage.

Are you hopeful that Nadya and Maria will be soon be freed, too?
The trial, as well as the pre-trial investigation, were conducted under many procedural violations. At the moment, we are presenting these errors to the higher court, which has the power to repeal the decision of the court in Khamovniki [a district in Moscow], where the first trial took place. The Moscow City Court already tried to cover up these violations, during a hearing. My lawyer says that he’s never seen a trial with so many basic violations. He says that if the Supreme Court—who will look at our appeal shortly—are impartial, the verdict will be annulled. Unfortunately, our courts are subjected to pressure from above, so I don’t know what will happen. But we are fighting.

Why do you think you were handed such harsh sentences for an offense that should, at most, give you 15 days of detention?
There are several reasons. First, it’s the result of propaganda that is pushed in the mass media—the propaganda of an extremely conservative government, where any action that isn’t part of the normative politics of our authorities is highly criticized. Then there is our courts's dependence on these authorities. We also think we've become Putin’s personal grievance. We think that was the reason the police captured us. Our case was a gift to their president. Most likely it is a combination of all the above, and it all came together in this sentence.

Milene's latest film Young and Gay in Putin's Russia—for which this interview was conducted—is coming soon to VICE News.

Follow Milene on Twitter: @Milenelarsson

More on Pussy Riot:

We, Too, Are Hooligans

We Went to a Pussy Riot Protest Concert

Meeting Pussy Riot

No Tomorrow: A South Side Heroin Addict Parses the Noise on Chief Keef and Violent Crime in Chicago

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No Tomorrow: A South Side Heroin Addict Parses the Noise on Chief Keef and Violent Crime in Chicago
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