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Jennifer Lawrence and Why Hollywood Is Done with Boring Male Heroes

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Photo via Wiki Commons

What makes a hero? Hollywood might tell you that a hero has to be a man. It's no secret that the meatiest leading film roles go to men. For all the relative success of Maleficent, Gone Girl, and The Hunger Games last year, only 12 percent of the leading actors in 2014's highest grossing films were women.

Which is why it's making headlines that Steven Spielberg has cast Jennifer Lawrence in an adaptation of It's What I Do: A Photographer's Life of Love and War, the autobiography of photojournalist Lynsey Addario.

A Pulitzer-winning photographer without formal training, Addario specializes in photographing women in regions of conflict. Her portraits are bittersweet, haunting, and occasionally too tragic to bear. They show women at war, in pain, and in poverty, women who suffer with courage and who frequently don't give a fuck.

In 2011 Addario was held captive by the Libyan army, threatened with death, and sexually assaulted. Asked if she plans to stop working now that she has a child, she has defiantly answered no and noted that men are never asked that question. Addario's life was made for a Hollywood film, and that film was always going to be political.

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It's great to see it being made now, but is Spielberg really the best director for the job? His work defines the modern blockbuster: Oscars won, record after record broken ( Jaws, ET, and Jurassic Park all broke box office records), a list of awards and nominations 236 lines long. He has directed 35 films, but it has taken him 30 years to get around to casting a female lead since Whoopi Goldberg in 1985's The Color Purple, made before Jennifer Lawrence was even born.

How could this happen? Women go to see films, too: In fact they buy just over 50 percent of cinema tickets. Don't they deserve female heroes?

The question might seem facile. Of course cinema is informed by gender constructs dating back to fairytales via the seven basic plots, stories that rely on princesses rescued and villains vanquished, roles traditionally filled by generic "handsome prince" types.

What's interesting now is how that formula has gone stale. Though Spielberg's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull succeeded in replicating (and surpassing) the financial success of the original franchise, other recent works like The Terminal, War Horse, Munich, and The Adventures of Tintin have been met with less commercial success. What these films have in common is their male leads, and predominantly male casts.

This is not to blame the actors, but to question why Spielberg didn't think to switch up the formula sooner. How many times does the hero have to be Tom Hanks? How many of Spielberg's leads are sexless, generic "everymen" or bland, budget-eating dinosaurs like Tom Cruise? Did anyone even still like Tom Cruise when he made Minority Report?

Spielberg has directed 35 films, but it has taken him 30 years to get around to casting a female lead since Whoopi Goldberg in 1985's The Color Purple, made before Jennifer Lawrence was even born.

Not that likability is always enough. It seems cynical to detract from Lawrence's charm, her courage in the face of nude photo leaks, her fondness for McDonald's, and her habit of constantly falling down, but it was likely none of these things that endeared her to Spielberg. Lawrence was the most bankable star of 2014, perhaps all the more bankable for her ability to be human. She will make your film a lot of money, and she will pull off an impossible combination of sexy and wholesome while doing so.

For all the Katniss Everdeens of this world, to build a grown-up, blockbuster war film around a woman remains a radical step. This year's Oscar titles were steeped in machismo: everything from American Sniper to Foxcatcher to Birdman to Boyhood explored facets of the male experience. Though interesting female roles existed (Gone Girl and Interstellar stand out) it would take a particularly twisted personality to view Rosamund Pike's "Amazing Amy" as a heroine. Hollywood struggles to present women as powerful and brave: there's always some paralyzing weakness or failing (Still Alice) or sociopathic flaw (Gone Girl) which places them off-center. In order not to alienate or emasculate male viewers, they can never be wholly heroic, only—at best—worth being rescued by the hero.

But what's so strange is that the economic benefits of a female lead are obvious. Casting a female lead serves a double purpose: You lure men in with a hot actress only to turn around and impress their girlfriends. Would the abstract and wilfully strange Black Swan ever have grossed $329 million worldwide without that sex scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis? Would Under the Skin, a dreamlike feminist allegory, ever have reached viewers were it not for those promo shots of Scarlett Johansson in lingerie? These films leverage the sex appeal of their leading ladies in order to explore something far more complex. It's a compromise, but it's a start.

Lawrence is a once-in-a-generation talent: She even beat Kim Kardashian as the most-googled person of last year. It was speculated that the "Fappening" photo leaks would destroy her career, but that she has run the gauntlet of critics and trolls and remained successful makes winning this role a greater triumph. It's also worth remembering that she has always excelled at playing heroines, dating back to her breakout role in 2010's Winter's Bone.

Winter's Bone was an indie made on a low budget, and by taking a risk on Lawrence as its female lead it went on to punch above its weight. Progress seems to work its way inwards from the fringes to the center: independent films, children's films, (witness the success of Frozen, which featured two female leads and became the highest-grossing animated feature of all time) and interestingly, horror films, a genre frequently dismissed as trash, afford their meatiest roles to women. Within horror the "Final Girl" has taken on a life beyond simply running from the killer in a tank top: recent titles As Above So Below, It Follows, The Babadook, Carrie, and A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night all featured female leads who were far more than eye candy.

It's odd how we accept certain tropes that repeat themselves in certain genres. Action men with gorgeous, vacuous women by their sides. Oscar-baiting dramas with men of gravity, who keep women as sidekicks and accessories. Boring heroes whose influence can only go so far, and sell so many tickets. Where are the female iconoclasts, the Ripleys and Clarice Starlings of today?

Frozen's head of animation famously complained that drawing female characters is more difficult than drawing male ones, because they have to demonstrate more emotion. Perhaps the same applies to writing female characters. But don't the returns show that it's worth the effort? Hopefully where Spielberg goes others will follow, and the end of the boring action hero will bring with it the end of those same boring plots we're used to seeing him in (new "mansplaining" con artist comedy Focus comes to mind...).

It's fitting that Spielberg's new heroine is based on one found in real life, and it's more fitting still that Lawrence's role is that of a photographer. That old familiar male gaze always seems to get in the way of taking heroines seriously—how better to subvert it than by casting a female lead and putting a camera in her own hands?

Follow Roisin Kiberd on Twitter.


After Years of Incompetence, the New York Fed Is Losing Power to Washington

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If you ranked all of government's financial regulators on how they handled Wall Street's crime wave during the Great Recession and its aftermath, most of them would wind up tied for last place. But then just under them would be the New York Federal Reserve.

This is the agency Tim Geithner ran during the Bush Administration. It's the one that missed the housing bubble, bailed out AIG, and made sure all of the mega-banks owed money on credit default swaps got paid out at 100 percent. This is the agency a former employee named Carmen Segarra secretly taped to show how officials there rolled over for Goldman Sachs after finding evidence of potential wrongdoing. It's the one that learned about JPMorgan Chase's risky practices in the office that made the catastrophic "London Whale" trade four years before that blew up, and did absolutely nothing to investigate or put a stop to them. It's the one that got early reports of the Libor scandal , the largest rigging of interest rates in world history (literally, a trader at Barclays Bank told a New York Fed official, "We know that we're not posting, um, an honest rate."), and did nothing but write a letter to British regulators, telling them to deal with it.

In context, you can understand why the New York Fed would let Wall Street run roughshod over the country. It's part of the Federal Reserve system, a strange hybrid of government and private financial institutions. There's a Board of Governors, which is mostly made up of appointees chosen by the president and confirmed by the Senate, and then there are 12 privately-run regional federal reserve banks in major cities across the country. Those regional banks have supervisory responsibilities over the banks in their area. But the local banking industry in the region and other corporate interests choose the board of directors for the regional banks, and the board subsequently selects the president.

In the case of the New York Fed, that means Wall Street banks play an active role in choosing the head of the institution that then has to regulate them. Until 2013, JPMorgan Chase President Jamie Dimon sat on the board. This is really the textbook definition of cronyism, clearly evidenced in the results of the New York Fed over the last decade. Bill Dudley, the current president of the New York Fed, spent his career as a chief economist for Goldman Sachs.

So the news last week that the Board of Governors has gradually taken over regulatory power from the New York Fed matters. A secret directive, known as the "Triangle Document," handed control over bank supervision to the Board of Governors under its point person Daniel Tarullo, a critic of big banks who was instrumental in tightening borrowing requirements for financial institutions.

The change was actually put in place five years ago and slowly implemented, an example of the extreme secrecy at the Fed. According to the Wall Street Journal, New York Fed officials have been shut out of policy meetings and criticized by Tarullo for failing to stop bank misconduct. One banker told the paper that the New York Fed "doesn't breathe anymore without asking Washington if it can inhale or exhale."

In 2010, the Fed established the Large Institution Supervising Coordinating Committee (LISCC), an umbrella group overseeing supervision, the first line of defense in the regulatory process. This has to do with the day-to-day monitoring of banks for compliance with federal law and overall safety, which is often performed by examiners inside the banks themselves. Under the reorganization, the regional banks still carry out supervision, but the LISCC is now their boss, at least in the cases of large institutions.

And there simply aren't that many large financial institutions outside Wall Street; almost half of the federal bailout in 2008 went to institutions in the New York Fed's district. So you can see the LISCC's creation as a direct rebuke to the New York Fed. The agency's bank examiners don't even report to President Bill Dudley anymore, going instead to the LISCC, a committee Dudley does not sit on. Several examiners have left.

Given their aptitude in the past, we should be thankful for their departure.

Presumably at the direction of the LISCC, the New York Fed has pulled its examiners out of the offices of the major banks, instead coordinating them through an off-site headquarters. The LISCC itself also runs off-site "risk teams" that are constantly looking at large institutions. This makes sense: Working inside the bank that you're supposed to be monitoring has to be incredibly difficult, as you build personal relationships with people you may have to rat out later. Yet that was the New York Fed's structure for decades. The new organizational model allows for some perspective, and the ability to see correlated risks across multiple banks.

Critics of big banks may be rejoicing, but they also have to question the timing. If this has been policy for five years, why introduce it now? And why did it come from Wall Street Journal writer Jon Hilsenrath, seen as so tied into the central bank that he's been called "actually the chairman of the Fed"?

The answer may be found in an obscure Senate hearing earlier last month, where Senator Elizabeth Warren criticized the continued service of Fed General Counsel Scott Alvarez, one of the most powerful public officials that nobody's ever heard of. Alvarez, an acolyte of Alan Greenspan, shares the deregulatory, laissez-faire approach of his mentor, contradicting the stated goals of his superiors and continually stepping in to help the banks by weakening the Fed's oversight powers.

It's unclear what role Alvarez plays on the LISCC. But with Fed Chair Janet Yellen and the Board of Governors were under fire from Warren recently for still employing a pro-bank operative at the highest level of their organization, they have every interest to demonstrate their independence from Wall Street right now. Trotting out a five year-old reorganization plan to show how they demoted the New York Fed serves that purpose. Yellen gave a speech last week criticizing Wall Street banks for "brazenly" failing to follow the law and questioning the ethical values of the firms. Combined with the Hilsenrath article, which comes right out of the Board of Governors, you can see this as comprehensive image rehabilitation effort on behalf of the captains of American high finance.

But this shift in regulatory responsibility from NYC to DC should give us some pause. It means that any illegal post-crisis practices, from market-rigging to the Lodnon Whale, happened on the new regulatory overseers' watch, and that members of Congress concerned about the failures to supervise and regulate should have hauled in the Board of Governors for questioning, not the New York Fed.

Improving the process by which Wall Street banks are regulated makes obvious sense. But we have to be sure the new solution is better than the original problem.

Follow David Dayen on Twitter.

Post Mortem: Pastry Chef Annabel Lecter Will Turn Your Nightmares into Cake

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The cakes of pastry chef Annabel de Vetten, a.k.a. Annabel Lecter, the woman behind England's Conjurer's Kitchen, take the form of severed baby heads, human skeletons, and taxidermy animals. It's a combination of fine art (she was originally trained as a sculptor), the macabre, and dessert.

I'm a big fan of all three, so I recently chatted with Annabel via Skype to find out more about where she gets her inspiration for these creations, what she tells the haters who accuse her of "inciting cannibalism," and if there's anything that's too weird to turn into a chocolate-filled pastry.

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VICE: Did you have an interest in the morbid from before you started baking?
Annabel Lecter: Absolutely. When people say, "How come you're doing all this weird, unusual dark stuff?" I always say it would be weird for me not to. If I started to make pink, girly cakes with flowers, all my friends and family would think I'd gone mad. I did taxidermy at university, a lot of body casting, horror films—it's just something I've always been into. When I was 16 I was a bit of a goth and I'd run around cemeteries. I do like the dark and [the] morbid, but I always want a bit of lightheartedness to go with it. So I'm not this kind of doom and gloom type of person.

Before I got into pastries, I was a fine art painter. From the time I could hold a pen I was always drawing and painting things. I studied sculpture at university. Growing up in Germany—taxidermy was big over there—there were stuffed squirrels on the hallway at my granddad's house. So taxidermy gave me something to utilize for my sculpture work at school. One of my pieces was a taxidermied owl with a wax baby head on top.

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Is that where the idea for the chocolate baby head comes from?
There was a TV show and they wanted something really, really, really disturbing. They wanted something edible. It was a pilot and it was based on the "would you rather" principle. I don't think it ever got picked up. One of the things was "would you rather eat this chocolate baby head" or do this other thing. The first thing they wanted was a severed penis, and I was like, "No, I'll come up with something more disturbing." And when I showed the chocolate baby head they were like, "Yup." So that's where the chocolate baby head piece comes from. I still have the mold.

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Do you think that if you combine the macabre with something edible it becomes more appealing to people who maybe aren't usually into dark stuff?
I think people get a real thrill from cutting into a body part. Because it's not something you're supposed to do, obviously. And then you go ahead and do it and you get rewarded with this tasty treat. It really messes with people's heads. I've watched people eat fingers and they have this look in their faces—Oh, I should hate this but I love it. They just feel really naughty. I do find it challenges people but they really enjoy it.

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How did you end up making morbid pastries a full time occupation?
It's really quite boring. I was asked to do a wedding cake at kind of DIY wedding. I knew how to make a cake but not much about decorating. So I read a few books and I really took to it. I think I did one class but I'm pretty much self-taught. So the first few times there was a bit of trial and error. And then I had a few requests from friends and it started taking over. And I started getting jobs, and because I wasn't going in the pretty, flowery sort of direction, I kind of stuck out because of the theme and the subject matter. I was a full-time fine artist, so I was painting, and it got to the point where I quit my other job. Because I asked myself if I got an order for a cake or for a painting, which would I rather do? And I said cakes. It's great. That was four years ago. I'm busy all the time now. If people want a weird wedding cake, they come to me.

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Are most items made to order or based on existing designs?
Made to order mostly. My clients are great. They have a general theme or a general idea, but I get free rein. It's amazing, I appreciate their trust in me. Like this weekend, I have a client who sells taxidermy in London and she's having the grand opening. So I'm making the death and burial of cock robin where the birds are the pallbearers based on Walter Potter's work. My kitchen is full of little birds at the moment.

Do you have a "typical" buyer or is it all over the place?
Really all over the place. Usually creative people with alternative tastes. No living wakes or anything. I have done weddings, birthdays, vow renewals, lots of corporate stuff—just events and media stuff. I've done a couple of funerals, but they were just for friends, relatives, that sort of thing. [Funerals] are all very short notice. It's a bit more difficult.

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I saw a piece that was labeled "Jessica Joslin." Is this a collaboration with a traditional artist? Do you do these often?
Yes, I like those. With Jessica we did "art for art" trades where I sent her chocolates and she sent me sculptures. This one on my site was one we cooked up together where she designed a piece specifically for me to make into chocolate. So that was really special. I've got some [other] stuff in the pipeline but I can't say anything about it yet.

I also had one recently where I got an order from a guy for his girlfriend's birthday and he asked me for something "vile and disturbing." After some back and forth we decided on an enlarged replica of Jonathan Payne's Fleshlette, which is a tongue with teeth on it. They ended up keeping it in a glass case and not even eating it.

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The Dexter one seems interesting.
Yes, that was for the media event at the beginning of Season 8 here in the UK. I think in the press pack for the media there was his "eulogy" and had kind of an "order of service." We sent out slices of the cake and of course it was flavored blood orange and it was wrapped in cling film. I didn't know if he was going to live or die at the end so I just tried to make him look amused rather than scared or happy. I created a "kill room" here in my kitchen to take all the pictures. You learn very quickly when you do that there is no way he can set that up in a few hours and then go home. It took three people a full day. And miles and miles of cling film.

On your site you say "there is nothing too weird for the conjurer's kitchen." What is the oddest request you've gotten and were you able to deliver?
The perfect example is the S&M wedding cake. This lady phoned up—it's my favorite kind of phone call—"This may sound weird, but can you...". And I said yeah, whatever it is I can do it. So she wanted something to reflect her interests but she also wanted something stylish and not over-the-top in your face. It was her wedding and she didn't want to put people off. Some of the online research I did was... interesting (I think I know blocked that whole research from my mind). It's still one of my favorites because from far away it just looks like a good looking cake. The delivery from that was interesting as well because we took it to her house and put in her dungeon. She was just a lovely lady. She was in her 50s and was having sort of a second life.

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Are there any designs you won't take on?
Somebody phoned and said they wanted vagina cupcakes. A) I don't do cupcakes and B) I don't do anything with genitalia. It's not for me. There's other people who do them. Also, no cutesy baby stuff. I've turned people down because I don't do [typical] kids cakes. But I don't get those calls any more. If they want a Halloween cake that's fine though.

Although I did do some severed testicles once. But it was for media for a good film and they were in jars and stuff. So it was more... medical.

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The sloth one is really cute. Is it modeled after a live or taxidermied one?
A living baby one. I don't think there's a stuffed baby sloth. There shouldn't be. That's just a whole bowl of wrong.

Do you get a lot of negative comments on the internet?
It comes with the territory, I get, "Why are you disturbed," "Why do you do that", "how can you make this"...and I'm like, "At the end of the day, it's only a cake." It's food. I'm not burying anyone, or digging anyone up, or killing anyone. It's food. With the baby heads if you google the comments I was called out for "inciting cannibalism," being a "satanist," as well as called a racist because they were white chocolate. It was just the best. And with all of that, people were asking if I was upset. No, because I'm none of those. [However], if somebody said they were really badly made I would have cried. If somebody said this tasted like crap then yeah, I'd be upset. The other stuff I just find entertaining. Priorities, you know.

Follow Simon Davis on Twitter.

Russian Roulette: a Rebel Beauty Pageant

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Russian Roulette: a Rebel Beauty Pageant

A New Video Reportedly Shows Suge Knight Running Over Two Men with His Truck

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Warning: This video contains graphic violence.

The horrifying footage above shows what appears to be 1990s West Coast rap mogul Suge Knight tear-assing around the parking lot of Tam's Burgers in Compton, California, hitting two people with his car, one of whom died. The family of the deceased, Terry Carter, claim responsibility for the release of the surveillance video, telling TMZ—which released the clip early Monday—they're glad "the public can see what actually occurred, and not be forced to speculate based on third party descriptions of the video."

Before the footage was released, Knight had claimed that the video was evidence for his side of the story. His legal team said the Tam's Burgers incident, which took place in January, was an ambush, and that the footage proves that Cle "Bone" Sloan—the man he ran over but didn't kill—had a gun. That's not impossible, since someone runs up and takes something from the injured victim at about the one-minute mark. Knight's claim that Sloan attacked him through a window right before he backed over him also seems at least somewhat plausible after viewing the footage.

Still, it's hard to imagine that the gruesome video will exonerate Knight, since it appears to show him gunning it and plowing into Carter straight-on. Carter is then pulled under the truck and crushed by Knight's tires at relatively high speed. It also remains to be seen how the footage might build a case that Carter was somehow conspiring with Sloan to attack Knight.

The Death Row Records founder was arrested on January 30. Knight reportedly got into an argument with the Straight Outta Compton film crew, and the conflict apparently continued at Tam's Burgers, where things got violent.

Earlier Monday, Knight attended a brief hearing, his first since telling the court he had fired his attorney and that he was going blind. He hasn't been released on bail, and has been locked up since the incident, despite three hospitalizations for his ongoing illness, the most recent of which was on March 2.

One way or another, the video is likely to play a significant role in determining Knight's legal fate.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

China’s First Prison-Themed Restaurant Wants to Take a Bite Out of Crime

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China’s First Prison-Themed Restaurant Wants to Take a Bite Out of Crime

I Had My First Feminist Orgy on International Women’s Day

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Sculptures at the Khajuraho temple in India. Photo via Flickr user Abishek Singh Bailoo

For most people, International Women's Day is an opportunity to bless Facebook with incessant photos of famous women alongside vague quotes about perseverance and persistence. Or for companies to co-opt the day's true meaning with whatever distorted idea of feminism they've schemed up. This year, I spent this year's International Women's Day the way Mother Teresa would have truly intended: an orgy with four men followed by an epic feminist awakening.

My singleness defined most of my adolescence and 20s. Like so many young women in college, my sex life existed as a strange duality of prudishness on one hand and not giving a fuck on the other. I was notorious amongst my friends for bringing men home at the end of the night and not having sex with them. It kind of became My Thing in the same way that quirky sneezes, losing your house keys, and filled-in eyebrows were other people's things.

One time, I brought home a TA and, to his dismay, tossed him my LSAT prep book. "Quiz me," I said. The look on his face told me he hoped this was some sort of naughty euphemism. It wasn't.

A few weeks later, though, I lost my virginity in a one-night stand and unabashedly asked him to use a vibrator. After that, I decided that my unapologetic attitude toward fucking was a good thing, and I've been super upfront with men ever since.

As I moved on and away from the tedious list of bros who had characterized most of my sex life, I watched my feminism radically evolve. I stopped the silent judgments that often came alongside the destructive envy of other women's sexual tales. I began to feel less weird about enjoying porn and I even developed a surprising proclivity for a bit of kink.

The weekend before The Big Event, I'd had weirdly intense sex with an old flame that left me feeling emotionally spent. I vowed that the next dick I encountered wouldn't be attached to any of the charming but exhaustingly complex string of guys from my recent past.

So, this past weekend, when I found myself at a recording studio in the heart of Montreal with four dudes I'd just met that evening, something in me clicked.

The five of us had been chatting all night and, although the vibe had been relatively platonic, I could sense an openness in the room. The sun was starting to rise when all of a sudden, I felt a little bold. Surprising even myself, I stood up in the middle of the room and suggested we take off our pants. The words were barely out of my mouth before all four men stripped totally naked in an excited flurry of clothes and limbs.

The four dudes—whom we'll call Sean, Adam, Michel, and Philippe—were all acquaintances between the ages of 28 and 45. Two of them were in a band. I didn't really care to inquire for more details. We put on some music and I grabbed a beer before heading into the centre of the room, still partially clothed.

"It's your turn, you know. We're all naked here and you're the only one with your underwear on," urged Sean. I made a mental note to be a little skeptical of Sean.

"Hey. This is her night, don't pressure her," instructed Michel, who himself had a daughter nearly my age.

I floated around the room dancing to the music and gauging the group's energy. I could feel the polite gaze of the men on my body, waiting to see what I would do next. Their expressions were curious but not frantic, full of half-smiles and shy, confirming glances. Being the centre of attention was freeing. I felt powerful and in charge. It was addictive.

I'd always been curious about having a threesome but was never really in any scenarios where I felt truly comfortable and in control. As the minutes progressed, it became obvious that this was the moment I had been waiting for. My skin began to tingle with the excitement of what was going to happen next and, slowly, I took off my underwear.

"This is your night," one of them reiterated to me. "It's all up to you now, you goddess." I giggled. Normally any man calling me a goddess would be too new-agey and irritating. But somehow, in the dim light of this apartment, it seemed appropriate. Maybe even seductive.

We stood in a circle and slowly began caressing one another's bodies. I asked if all the guys were straight. They said yes and it became increasingly obvious that this entire experience was basically The Me Show. Sean kneeled down in front of me as though he was about to go down on me.

"Hey dude," interjected Michel. "If you wanna do something to her, you've got to explicitly ask." I paused for a second and realized we'd already made a slight blunder. The number one rule of any feminist orgy should be to establish rules of consent. I looked at all the guys and told them to ask before touched me. They nodded along wisely.

I sat down on a piano bench and one of them, as per our new rules, asked to go down on me. Here we go. I said yes and he pushed open my legs. I paused. "I haven't showered today," I said, a little self-conscious. "Good," they all said. Oh my god.

The men took turns going down on me as I tried to give them all my due attention. It was quite a feat given the incredulous amount of penis hovering near and around my face.

We stood up and moved over to a blanket on the floor and assessed the situation. "How many condoms do we have?"

"Uhhhh, juste un," replied Philippe, a shy Quebecois dude. We pondered the dilemma for a moment before the men conferred and decided that if there was only one condom, it should go to Philippe because he had the biggest dick and I would probably enjoy fucking him the most. I agreed and found the strange democracy of this decision oddly inspiring. It went along with the obvious me-centred theme of this orgy. How doth a girl get so lucky?

The sex was exciting and tactile in a way I had never experienced. While Philippe took me from the back, I was kissing one of the other three who would float in and out of the scene. For four straight guys, they were surprisingly comfortable with one another's nakedness, although I noticed they expertly navigated around one another. It was an impressive feat given the tangled sea of limbs and blanket. At one point, I handed my phone over to Michel. "Photograph this," I bluntly instructed. I needed to remember that this had not been a weird lucid dream.

It ended when Philippe came all over my chest. Exhausted and laughing, we all lay there silently. In my final act of subversion, I dipped my fingers in the liquid now drying on my body and motioned for the other guys to come over. "Taste it," I said with a smirk. They all obliged and I gave myself a mental high-five.

We cleaned up and attempted to find our clothes while slowly, the reality of the night's events began to sink in. Sean somewhat awkwardly asked if I wanted to go for dinner sometime soon. I knew after that it was time to leave. I arrived home and fell into a broken sleep for a few hours before waking up and recounting the story to a friend.

I spent that Sunday quiet and contemplative. I started to feel slightly anxious as I replayed the parts of the night in my head that seemed the most daring and promiscuous. The experience felt slightly detached from me, as though I was watching an indie film where some manic pixie dream girl tumbles her way through sexual misadventure.

It's easy to be sex-positive when it's another woman's life. But if you really want to challenge your so-called progressive politics, wait to see how you treat yourself after an intense sexual experience.

I realized that my guilt stemmed from of all the internalized misogyny I never even realized I carried. The kind that allows men to write off orgies as youthful rites of passage while assuming the brokenness of any woman who might dare do the same thing. But I did not feel broken. And in that room surrounded by four men I barely knew, I tapped into a level of femininity unbeknownst to me.

I'm not sure that I'll have another sexual experience like this one. It was fun and hilarious and, most importantly, entirely on my own terms. But it was also highly circumstantial and took a great deal of energy to process. If you had told me two years ago that I would have instigated ménage à cinq with four men I barely knew on International Women's Day, I would have scoffed and told you "There's no fucking way. I'm just not that kind of girl."

Now I know there's simply no such thing.

Anonymous* is a writer and artist living in the Mile End of Montreal with her two dogs, her sense of adventure and no healthy concept of boundaries.

Debt-Ridden and Desperate, America's Adjuncts Are Attempting to Unionize

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Philly adjuncts marching for union rights last month. Photo courtesy American Federation of Teachers/United Academics Flickr feed

Linda Lee used to have a successful career in publishing. Then came what she calls "the worst financial decision I ever made in my life."

She went to graduate school.

Lee enrolled in a doctorate program in folklore at the University of Pennsylvania but, after her funding ran out, began working as an adjunct professor to pay her bills. Six years later, she's still at it. But even as she teaches five classes per semester at four different Philadelphia-area universities, she struggles to pay her rent, let alone keep up with the massive students loans she took out along the way.

"When I started grad school," Lee said, "I never imagined that this is what my life would be. This is not what I signed up for."

So goes the plight of the adjunct professor—the growing cohort of part-time instructors who now make up more than two-thirds of all college faculty in America. Highly educated (and often carrying the debt to prove it), adjuncts say that even as tuitions have skyrocketed, their wages have stagnated, leaving many in poverty and therefore just one canceled class away from total financial devastation.

In response, adjuncts nationwide have been organizing in hopes of better pay and conditions. National unions, including the American Federation of Teachers (AFT), United Steelworkers and Service Employees International Union, have made a project of it, putting on pressure with events like National Adjunct Awareness Week at the tail-end of February. Since November, at least eight colleges have seen their adjuncts form unions. A new ruling from the National Labor Relations Board in favor of adjuncts at the Jesuit-led Seattle University would also allow their votes from a union election last year to be tallied.

One of the most ambitious efforts is in Philadelphia, where the AFT has launched an initiative, United Academics of Philadelphia, with the goal of representing 15,000 adjuncts at colleges and universities in the metropolitan area.

First up is Temple University, where Lee works part-time. According to organizers, the majority of the school's 1,300 adjuncts have signed union authorization cards, but the administration is opposing the plan, which it says will "dramatically and negatively impact the mission of the university." According to organizers, the dispute will be heard by the Pennsylvania Labor Relations Board beginning March 19.

Adjuncts at Temple want increased compensation, greater job security, access to health insurance, paid sick days, transparency around hiring decisions and an improved pay schedule (they claim to often not see a paycheck until six weeks after the semester begins). In the long term, the vision is a standardized contract and terms for adjuncts citywide.

For Lee, more than just her livelihood is at stake. She sees this as a battle for the future of higher education.

"I want the university system to be sustainable, and it's not right now," she said. "It's not sustainable to have university teaching as your profession."

This is nothing new for Jeffrey Dion, a painter who teaches at Moore College of Art & Design in Philadelphia.

He has worked as adjunct since 1991. He loves his job, and, based on years of positive student evaluations, he believes he's very good at it.

"But does it pay my bills? No," he said, when reached by phone just after 8 AM on a Friday. "So what I'm doing now, I just walked into a job painting a house."

Dion, a single father of a 12-year-old, paints houses at least 40 hours a week, teaches two classes, and makes art when he can. By his résumé, and his monumental canvases of industrial landscapes, he appears to be a successful artist. "But it doesn't feel like that in day-to-day life," he told me. "I haven't missed a mortgage payment, but there's been times when I've borrowed money or... work at 6 AM at one job and then go and teach, then clean somebody's garage."

Even after 18 years on the job, Shanker's still never sure when her next paycheck is coming.

Something the actor Patrick Stewart said in an interview keeps sticking with him: "I find myself continually torn between a sense of almost juvenile hopefulness and a real despair." He said it perfectly describes the life of an artist. But he added that "without an economic support system that gives you security, you feel that despair all the time."

Second, third, and fourth jobs are common. Elizabeth Spencer, an English adjunct at Temple and area community colleges, used to babysit to supplement her income, which peaked around $25,000, the average for adjuncts. She knows a number of colleagues who work at a pool in Philadelphia to survive the lean summer months.

One adjunct who teaches in the city and didn't want to be named said that, despite working overtime, she was in default on two of her student loans, for which combined monthly payments exceeded $1,500. She faces her wages being garnished in the next few days if she can't work out a payment plan. She's considered bankruptcy, but doesn't have the money to consult with a lawyer on how to proceed.

Meanwhile, the dream of a full-time professorship seems further out of reach than ever. Spencer believes there's a stigma attached to adjuncts that makes landing those jobs even more unlikely. "There's a perception that you're damaged goods."

Not that a union is a panacea. Dion is, after all, a member of the faculty union at Moore. And at some colleges and universities around the country, adjuncts have voted down organizing efforts. (At others, like the newly unionized Bentley University outside Boston, those no-votes have flipped in just a couple years.)

But Jennie Shanker, an artist and instructor involved in organizing at Temple, said it could be an important protection for adjuncts, who otherwise make easy targets for cutbacks.

"If you're not at the table, you're on the menu," she told me. "And because we don't have a union, because we're not organized and we don't have any power, we are constantly the ones who are on the menu."

Even after 18 years on the job, Shanker's still never sure when her next paycheck is coming.

She's had classes canceled with a day's notice because they were just one student short of minimum enrollment. (She said that's doubly painful in cases when she's turned away another job, and then is left with no income for the semester.) More recently, she's noticed the university has employed other tactics in lieu of canceling classes: reducing teacher pay for under-enrolled classes, or combining two nearly-full sections into one, resulting in double the work for no additional money.

"People are afraid to not accept a class," she said.

(Temple declined to comment on these practices or on the organizing effort. Moore also declined to provide a comment.)

Shanker worries that the part-timing of education has broad implications for both faculty and students. There's no question that full-time positions are disappearing: less than a quarter of faculty were part-time in 1970, whereas now, half are.

Her own income from adjuncting isn't sufficient to support her, so she gets by through a combination of teaching, hustling art commissions, and taking on credit-card debt.

But what really scares her is that, as she's grown older and more expensive, she's been offered fewer classes. Many of Shanker's older colleagues, who have no retirement plans or health insurance, are in similar situations. Margaret Mary Vojtko, a Duquesne University professor who died in abject poverty in 2013 (she had taken to sleeping in her office because she couldn't pay her utilities) became a tragic symbol of this phenomenon.

"After 12 years at Moore, my new boss decided I was no longer needed," he said. By then, it was too late to apply for jobs elsewhere for the next semester.

For the first time, Shanker mentioned the issue to her students as part of February's national week of action.

"When students hear that, as of the end of April, I don't know if I'll ever have a teaching job again—and this is the way I've been leading my life for close to two decades—they're stunned," she said.

That's essentially what happened to artist Mike Geno, a painter who has earned a degree of fame for his lush portraits of cheeses. Just as his painting career was taking off, his adjuncting career screeched to a halt.

"After 12 years at Moore, my new boss decided I was no longer needed," he said. By then, it was too late to apply for jobs elsewhere for the next semester.

Eventually, he landed a job at Temple, where he teaches two classes. But, he said, "There are no guarantees."

As of last year, adjuncts at Temple started at $1,300 per credit hour, significantly more than the national average of $2,987 for a three-credit course; some also have access to health-insurance subsidies. But Art Hochner, president of the Temple Association of University Professionals (TAUP), the union the adjuncts hope to join, said they're limited to two classes per semester, and that full-time professors are rallying around the issue. "It weakens the full-time faculty for there to be so many unrepresented adjunct faculty who we have no way of involving in the work we do."

TAUP's last effort to unionize adjuncts, four years ago, fizzled out. This time around, though, adjuncts are energized. Many said they have little to lose.

Without significant changes, people like Lee don't see much of a future in academia.

Though she has no shortage of jobs, including teaching in Temple's Intellectual Heritage program, a required humanities core curriculum, "They're just really sucky ones."

She's still trying to find time to finish her PhD in folklore, in between the 50 to 65 hours per week she spends teaching, grading papers, planning lessons, and driving between jobs.

"That's why I'm involved in the efforts to unionize," she said. "I want to make sure the best, most talented people aren't being driven out of higher education simply because there's a need to be able to pay your bills."

Follow Samantha Melamed on Twitter.


Fifty Years After Selma, Civil Rights in Alabama Are Still in Rough Shape

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There's a fictionalized scene toward the beginning of the movie Selma, depicting a meeting between Martin Luther King, and two other SNCC organizers. King wants to know if Selma Sheriff Jim Clark is a clever pacifist like Albany, Georgia Police Chief Laurie Pritchett. John Lewis tells King no, Clark is a brutal dinosaur like fellow Alabaman Bull Connor, and he loves to crack heads whenever possible. That sort of backwardness seemed to defined Alabama law enforcement at the time, and King decided that that made Selma the right place for the Selma marches.

The rest is non-fictionalized history. The head-crackings of Bloody Sunday were 50 years ago this weekend—enough time for a styrofoam cup to completely decompose—and Alabama is still a backwards place that too often doesn't learn from the present, let alone the past. The fight for civil liberties of all kinds in Alabama is still as vibrant as ever.

Perhaps in a nod to the draconian days of Bull Connor, Alabama legislators are well on their way toward returning the electric chair to Alabama. The last time an American was forced to die in that Bond villain-esque contraption was in 2002, when Lynda Lyon Block was put to death in—where else?—Wetumpka, Alabama. Alabama State Representative Lynn Greer has apparently noticed that now that they're giving prisoners the choice between the chair and lethal injection, prisoners all want the injection. That's a problem because not only are they using up all the good death drugs, and occasionally having injections ruled unconstitutional, but since nobody wants to ride the lightning, they have to delay executions. The bill could pass as early as Tuesday, and if it goes into effect, the state will be able to force prisoners into the chair once again.

But more conventional civil rights struggles are still going on as well. Nate Silver predicted years ago that Alabama and Mississippi would be the last states to legalize gay marriage. Alabama came close to proving him wrong four weeks ago when it became the 37th state to give gay couples marriage licenses. Then this week, Alabama's Supreme Court became the first of its kind to directly challenge a federal judge's order allowing same-sex marriage. Starting last Tuesday, marriage licenses were withheld from same-sex couples, prompting George Takei to sick the evil power of obnoxious internet positivity on the entire state in the form of the hashtag #LuvUAlabama. Such were the priorities of Alabama's Supreme Court docket during the week leading up to the anniversary of a civil rights triumph in its state.

As for issues of race, In 2002, one little popcorn kernel of old-fashioned segregation that had managed to stick to the back of Alabama's throat—the issue of segregated sororities a the University of Alabama—was shoved into the spotlight with a story from The New Republic. Surely the only way an institute of higher learning could respond to something like that would be to shout "Roll Tide!" and wash that racism away into the past, right? Hardly. But a Buzzfeed report published late last year showed that despite a few attempts, nothing substantive has been done to fix the problem.

As Gay Talese's elegiac Selma anniversary essay for the New York Times pointed out, even the Selma Country Club has somehow managed to remain all-white to this day. In 1965, Talese writes, he watched club members "hiss at the television" in that club. Today it's still not integrated.

Alabama just can't seem to wrap its head around the symbolism it has been burdened with, even while some of that symbolism—like the fact that the iconic Edmund Pettus Bridge is named after a Klansman—is so frustratingly obvious a producer would tell a screenwriter to rewrite it. But, as we learned from the historical accuracy dustup around the movie Selma, history is no screenplay. Whatever power hatred has, it's not a force that simply changes upon seeing the light, like a character at the one hour and 20 minute mark. It persists, relentlessly.

Dallas County Sheriff Harris Huffman told Talese that in Alabama, "You've got some people in Selma who live in the 1960s, and you've got some that live in the 1860s." That's what made it the perfect catalyst for a dramatic change in 1965. It stands to reason that a place known for resisting change would be the last to change its "I don't want to change" policy. Still, you would think that by now Alabama would be tired of being the place where marginalized Americans have to demand their dignity the loudest.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

I Went on LA’s Weirdest Underground Scavenger Hunt

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[vimeo src='//player.vimeo.com/video/121495036' width='500' height='281']

I ducked out of the rain into the Los Angeles Chinatown dive bar where I'd been told to meet, ordered a whiskey, and waited. For what, exactly, I wasn't sure, although I had been informed in no uncertain terms that tonight would be like "nothing I've ever experienced."

It was a Saturday night and I wasn't quite sure what I'd gotten myself into. The only information I had about the evening ahead came from a video I'd been sent about something called Rabbit Hole—a sort-of multimedia underground urban scavenger hunt experience. The footage, from a previous hunt, and was dark, mildly foreboding, and didn't really provide much intel beyond the fact that this was going to be really weird and that someone might be filming it with a very shaky camera to make a video of later.

I was secretly hoping that Rabbit Hole would be a lot like that Michael Douglas movie The Game: some sort of deeply-conceived, convoluted conspiracy that would slowly unravel, blurring the lines between reality and artifice, gaining a dark, irrevocable momentum all its own that churned toward an unsettling denouement, clouding my judgement and senses with creepy clowns and Sean Penn.

I finished my drink just as people started to filter in, and I began shaking hands and exchanging small talk with the group I was going to spend the next three hours with. They seemed like a solid crew, mostly. There were 14 of us in total, all assembled in the bar, buying drinks, introducing themselves, and speculating on the nature of what would soon befall us. Christina and Zack, the couple who had arranged all of this, were friendly and engaging, encouraging us to have a drink and assuring us that things would begin shortly.

And so they did. We were led upstairs, into a cramped room above the dive bar, where we found a briefcase on a table, a large screen and projector, and a heavyset man wearing sunglasses and a lab coat. Other men in white coats stood off to the side, watching us.

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One guy in our group, who I will describe charitably as "probably owning a lot of polo shirts," seemed destined to take a leadership role, seemingly by virtue of his overall volume and authoritatively shiny shoes. He wasted no time in opening the briefcase, which held various items with every group member's name on them: I got a thumb drive, someone got keys, someone got a book with drawings in it, and, mercifully, one girl got a flask that had instructions on it to share among the group.

As we debated the merits and functions of our find, a video began to play on the screen. It was accompanied by strange music and whirling lights, and it soon became apparent that the video featured us as its subject. Images from our lives flickered before us, and one by one the people in the group saw their memories and photos play out across the room. Although easily accomplished with a bit of Facebook snooping, the effect was immediate and unsettling, and everyone quieted down and listened.

The images came faster, jumping from one life to another, until finally they became a jumble of light and sound; an alarm sounded and smoke rose. Something was amiss. One of the "scientists" in lab coats, well cast with his long white hair and spectacles, stepped from the back of the room and consulted with the heavy set man at the controls. He spoke into his radio hurriedly: "It's happening again." Then he turned to us.

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"This project was created with the purpose of allowing people to re-live their memories. The best, most beautiful moments of your life can be experienced, in real time, again and again—that was our goal. And it almost worked. But something has gone wrong." The project, he said, hinged on a synthetic memory implantation program called Zacteena, which was able to digitally synthesize memories and store them in its database.

"Tight," said shiny shoes.

We followed the head "scientist" downstairs and out into the evening chill as he explained to us that the supercomputer would get stuck on various events, unable to fully process them, leading to a calamitous malfunction and the creation of false and confused memories, a fractured timeline of intermingled events. By this point, I had befriended the girl with the flask, and told her that with such an uncertain future facing the group, now would probably be a good time to start passing that whiskey around.

We sipped from the flask and listened to the scientist, who told us to be careful, and to use the book of sketches we had been given to guide us. With the machine behaving as it was, all of our accumulated memories were at stake and could be manipulated. He was then engulfed in a strategically placed cloud of mist from a smoke machine and we became aware that another scene was playing out before us.

A girl with sad eyes looked longingly at a man in a trench coat who stood near us. He didn't see her though—he was looking at a sheet of music in his hand, humming it, seemingly committing it to memory. When their eyes met, he smiled, and she ran to him. They embraced, and she began to sob. Smoke machines, real tears; I hit the flask and nodded my approval at the solid production values so far.

"I don't need this anymore," the man said gleefully, brandishing the sheet music. He pointed to his head: "It's all up here!" He then produced a lighter and burned the composition, smiling at his lover as the flames curled over the staves. Another puff of mist and the couple disappeared, another lost memory.

That was our cue to begin the elaborately prefaced scavenger hunt. We set off into the cold Chinatown night, armed only with our items from the briefcase and the flask of warm whiskey. We still had no idea what was in store, but we knew we'd be getting free food at the after-party.

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Our first stop we got from the book of sketches that had been in the briefcase, it had an address and a picture of an old Asian man, so we reasonably assumed we should go to said address and locate said man. The problem was, once we got there we were faced with a locked door. We tried the keys we had been given, to no avail. At this point, our group dynamic, which was still in its fragile, nascent stage, began to break down rapidly. Some people wanted to simply push on to the next clue in the book, some insisted we were missing something, and some just took the flask and sat under a nearby tree and wrote in a notebook about how the group was turning on each other and how this was nothing like that movie The Game.

Shiny shoes decided we should push onward to the second location, which turned out to be a plaza with a rock and waterfall fountain that was covered in coins. One guy had gotten a bag of 14 pennies from the briefcase, so we deduced that this would be an opportune time to use them. After all 14 had been thrown into the fountain, a woman dressed in red and black caught our attention. We began asking her questions all at once, but she only smiled demurely and remained quiet. Finally, she stood, walked to the fountain, and began to speak. She went through the group one by one, and told us things about our lives, our memories. She brought up past loves and siblings, parents and life events. Did she get all of this from Facebook stalking us, too? At one point she also produced a hula hoop that glowed and hula-ed while she talked. It was pretty impressive overall. She then told us to follow her.

From there the hunt zigzagged all over Chinatown, Little Tokyo, and Downtown LA. We were led into restaurants with secret codes in our fortune cookies; we rode the metro to a karaoke studio that contained copious alcohol and messages only readable with a UV flashlight we'd been given; we ate New Orleans king cake in a po boy shop to find a bunny figurine inside. At each point, there were encounters with more memories from our past revealed by strange figures like a rabbit-masked man in a suit leading us through rainy downtown alleys, a homeless shaman who used his lighter to burn away certain words written in flammable ink in our book to show the next step, and a quartet of masked men serenading us on the street. There were copious drinks, Uber rides in a black Suburban, and many hidden keys. Eventually, in the commotion, shiny shoes and his friend got lost and we never saw them again. Nobody was really that bummed about it.

Eventually, we saw the man in the trench coat—the one who had burned up his sheet music—but now he was older. He sat alone in a cavernous, ornate abandoned theater, and told us he had forgotten the melody he wrote and burned all those years ago, forgotten his love for her. Since this was a scavenger hunt, we happened to have a scroll with holes punched in it that we had procured along the way, and he put it in a music box he had and turned the crank.

As the lost song played his face came alive and his eyes welled with tears. "That's it," he said, remembering.

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It might have been the beer and whiskey from the karaoke place making us overly emotional, but we were all pretty caught up in the moment. I even felt touched. As he lost himself in the tune, a string quartet in masks filed in and began to play the now-remembered song, the music soaring beautifully through the crumbling glory of the massive space, and up in the balcony we saw him as a younger man, re-united with his love. The old man smiled and the couple above us began dancing together, and as the music swelled, they kissed.

And then, it was over. The head scientist from the beginning walked in and thanked us all for helping to navigate this labyrinth of lost memory, and told us that there were cars outside waiting to take us to the after-party, which was in a very nice loft nearby. Despite the fact that this had been merely an elaborately planned and well-acted production, I felt genuinely moved by all of it.

At the after party, next to the open bar, I got a chance to talk with Zack and Christina, the architects of Rabbit Hole. They said they wanted to create a totally unique experience that only happened once, and that each hunt that they put on would be a singular event, with music and performances crafted specifically for one night, never to be repeated. For them, it was a labor of love, arising from a desire to entertain and engage their friends with scenarios both strange and fantastical. With this mysterious fusion of scavenger hunt, performance art, team problem-solving, science-fiction narrative, and drunken karaoke, they had certainly succeeded.

As we drank craft cocktails with all the actors who had taken part in the night, and availed ourselves of free pecan pie and po boy sandwiches, I realized this was just like the final scene of The Game, where Michael Douglas falls into that party and everyone from all that he has experienced is there, laughing and drinking. I toasted the rabbit-mask guy and the mysterious lady in red, got myself another slice of pie and reflected that despite its utter lack of creepy clowns and/or Sean Penn, this certainly had been like nothing I'd ever experienced.

Follow Karl Hess on Twitter.

The Fight to Make Corporate America a Little More Democratic

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For years, women and minorities have struggled to find seats at fancy boardroom tables. Photo via Flickr user reynermedia

James McRitchie calls himself an "activist shareholder," or someone who buys shares in a publicly-traded corporation and attempts to use them to instill change from within. After the Enron collapse, the corporate governance advocate and editor of CorpGov.net unsuccessfully petitioned the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) for proxy access, a fancy name for idea that shareholders should be able to nominate people and their platforms to the boards of corporations. And just this past December, he attempted to restrict Costco's board members' tenure to 15 years. His proposal will come to a vote at the annual Costco Wholesale shareholders' meeting in the coming weeks.

"I'm an old person myself," McRitchie told me over the phone. "So to put out this proposal goes against my own grain. But it's hard to imagine that you need to be against a 15-year term limit in this day and age. The problem is, if you have one choice, it's not really an election."

Next up on his list: Whole Foods.

Last September, McRitchie called for elections on the board of the Austin-based grocery giant with a proposal that would give nominating privileges to a shareholder, or a group of shareholders, who have owned 3 percent of the company's shares for more than three years. The high threshold (now known as the "3 and 3 rule") is the standard for proxy access proponents and the handful of companies who have had their boardroom doors pried open to elections by shareholders, including Verizon, Western Union, and HP. The linchpin in this proposal, however, is that it would only apply to one-fifth of Whole Foods' board, or at least two directors.

To combat these changes, Whole Foods executives proposed an even higher threshold: owning 9 percent of shares over five years as a nomination requirement. The grocery giant eventually capitulated to 5 percent ownership of stock—criteria that, according to investors, are nearly impossible to meet, even for the largest shareholders. (Currently, only two stakeholders in Whole Foods meet that mark.)

Whole Foods also argued, somewhat confusingly, that McRitchie had broken the I-9 rule, which states that a shareholder cannot issue a proposal that "directly conflicts with one of the company's own proposals to be submitted to shareholders at the same meeting." In December, the SEC agreed, issuing what is known as a "no-action" letter in favor of Whole Foods, meaning that the regulatory agency would not tell the corporation what to do.

Basically, if Whole Foods didn't want to put McRitchie's or its own proposal up for a vote, it didn't have to. McRitchie appealed the decision, but the SEC's abstention was a victory for the corporation, which no longer had to worry about competing voices from within. Soon enough, ten other major corporations lined up to ask the SEC to rule the same way for them, now dealing with their own activist shareholders.

The guys at the very top had won, again; shareholders like McRitchie were still without a way to change the companies they owned pieces of.

"The problem is, if you have one choice, it's not really an election." –James McRitchie


What makes a corporation a corporation is that it is owned by shareholders, who may own a single piece of stock or a much larger chunk of the company. In theory, these shareholders are represented by a board of directors, whose duties range from choosing and setting the salary of the CEO to approving the annual budget and stock options of the entire corporation and its employees. The shareholders elect the board of directors, and the board members are usually shareholders themselves, too.

But who they're electing is where it gets troublesome. Board nominees are generally hand-picked by the directors in committees, and, on most boards, a director can re-nominate him or herself (usually himself) with just one share of the company. Sometimes, the nominee doesn't even need to pass a majority vote by shareholders to be appointed.

The result is a Soviet-style voting process, where one board candidate is presented on the proxy statement (a platform announcing nominees and resolutions) and voted on by all the shareholders during a period called proxy season, which is happening across corporate America as we speak. If a shareholder disagrees with the choice, he or she can abstain from voting, but has no other options. A plurality of yes votes, no matter how tiny, can win an election.

This, many critics argue, is how Enron happened. The early Bush-era scandal that led to the biggest bankruptcy of its time saw executives trading insider information to make millions off Enron stock for themselves, even though they knew the company's financial core was rotting away. The board then stashed this fraud in secret offshore accounts, and encouraged corporate officers to oversell in order to create the facade that the company was worth billions. Throughout it all, the investors who held major stock in a company worth $111 billion a year before it collapsed knew absolutely nothing about what was going on.

A recent New York Times study found that more men with my first name controlled large companies than the entire opposite sex.

A common complaint against boards is that these bodies are made up almost exclusively of old white men. According to one study from 2013, women held only 16.9 percent of corporate board positions; black women, a mere 3.2 percent. In 2010, there was not a single Latino woman on a Fortune 500 company's board. A recent New York Times study found that more men with my first name controlled large companies than the entire opposite sex. And these bodies are only getting whiter, while the rest of the country is doing the opposite.

It only takes a second grader to know why diversity is a good thing: Varied perspectives from different genders, races, and socioeconomic classes lead to better input and collaboration. And even less investigations: research shows that female executives are actually less prone to tax evasion and fraud than their male counterparts).

The argument in favor of the status quo is that boards need to remain insulated from the demands of their more rebellious investors, have the power to block the influence of special interest groups and keep the proxy process moving. The idea is that we need unilateralism in business, not How do you feel about this? pluralism. After all, corporate America doesn't want to turn into the federal government, polarized and unable to make any real decisions.

So for decades, the SEC explicitly granted corporations the right to ignore any shareholder proposals that even mentioned an election. In fact, the SEC has a history dating back to 1942 of declining to back real proxy access. The strongest attempt came in 2010, with the passage of the Dodd-Frank Act—the post-meltdown financial regulation bill fought vehemently by business interest that has been the subject of countless legal battles. The legislation finally gave the SEC the power to mediate the 3 and 3 rule across corporate America—a privilege that was arguably one of the most significant financial reforms in American history.

Almost immediately, the Business Roundtable and Chamber of Commerce, two of the most influential corporate interest groups in the country, filed a lawsuit against the rule, arguing it was too arbitrary to enforce and did not provide any economic benefits for installing proxy access. Under the Administrative Procedure Act, those deficiencies ("arbitrary or capricious," as the law goes) in rule-making can cause a court to overturn any action taken by a federal agency.

What happened next shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone who's watched corporations push the government. The US District Court in Washington DC vacated the rule, and the SEC never appealed the decision. The SEC Chair at the time, Mary Shapiro, said she believed "providing a meaningful opportunity for shareholders to exercise their right to nominate directors at their companies is in the best interest of investors and our markets." But, in the end, her agency caved without much of a fight.

Instead, the law permitted the SEC to engage in what is known as "private ordering," another amendment under Dodd-Frank that, starting in 2012, allows shareholders like McRitchie to submit proposals for proxy access on a company-by-company basis, laying the groundwork for individual showdowns with corporations like Whole Foods.

So now the SEC must intervene when these competing proposals come up to decide what's best for both parties, as the agency did with Whole Foods in December. But even with the ability for shareholders to propose board elections, the I-9 rule created a loophole that protects corporations by preventing any sort of conflict. As a result, the SEC is still very much confused as to what side it should take in these fights.

Michael J. Ryan, Jr., a vice president of the Business Roundtable, a group made up of CEOs, told me in an interview that his organization applauded this piecemeal approach. Each corporation, he said, is its own species, equipped with different boards, different shareholders, and different mechanisms of rules. So putting a blanket proposal over this system—like the SEC mandatory proxy access rule that the Business Roundtable successfully sued over—was a bad idea.

"Our philosophy is that one-size-fits-all corporate governance is not good public policy," Ryan said. "There's this relatively silent majority of shareholders, too, who aren't as activist about the I-9 rule. By and large, the system has worked effectively for boards and shareholders.

"Our issue is that it should be worked out within each individual company," Ryan continued. "Corporations need to figure out what works best for them."

But when I asked him whether or not board elections—in theory—are a good thing, he responded simply, "Corporations are not democracies."

"As a shareowner, I want to know that the board is focused on the company, not whether or not the CEO gets 'taken care of.'" –Scott Stringer


As comptroller of New York City, Scott M. Stringer has what most of us would call leverage. His office is in charge of five municipal public pension funds that total over $160 billion in assets. As a result, the city owns enormous amounts of stock in major corporations—New York claims over 9.6 million shares of Exxon-Mobil, for example, worth a combined $910 million.

Last November, Stringer used that leverage to announce the Boardroom Accountability Project—an unprecedented push for proxy access by a trillion-dollar coalition of institutional shareholders (local and state governments) from as far away as Norway, including the California Public Employees' Retirement System (better known as CALPERS). On Stringer's list are 75 major companies from all sectors of American industry and our daily lives, ranging from Chipotle and Netflix to Priceline and eBay.

Stringer's office is arguing that boards would be worth more to shareholders if they were held accountable on three specific issues: the use of fossil fuels, excessive executive pay, and a lack of ethnic and gender diversity on their boards.

The comptroller likes to cite a report released last year by the CFA Institute, a group that, on its website, describes itself as the largest association of investment professionals in the world. The international organization makes the case that the market cap for publicly held corporations would raise 1.1 percent, or $140 billion, if board members feared reelection, because financial markets react positively to democratic corporate governance. Democratic boards, this line of argument goes, are actually better for business and our 401(k)s.

"We want these companies to start thinking about the environment and clean energy, because that's how coal companies are shrinking in value," Stringer said in an interview. "With the majority-minority shifting in the next few years, you can't have an all-male board. That's going to deplete value. And, as a shareowner, I want to know that the board is focused on the company, not whether or not the CEO gets 'taken care of.'

"As the fiduciary of the fourth-largest pension fund in the country, the 12th-largest in the world, we're looking at these companies because we have concerns about our investments," Stringer added. "At the end of the day, this is about adding value so our retirees have a strong retirement standing."

Stringer and his coalition have further legitimized the proxy access movement, which, up until now, had been led by individual activist shareholders like McRitchie. In essence, the idea is that the SEC cannot ignore the pleas of New York City, the state of California, and other major stakeholders for corporate America to democratize.

And it might actually be working.

In January, in what Gretchen Morgenson of the New York Times called " a regulatory about-face," the SEC temporarily revoked its own no-action letter to Whole Foods after repeated requests to revisit their 2014 decision by the Council of Institutional Shareholders, which includes Stringer's office. Basically, Whole Foods can't do whatever it wants anymore. For the first time ever, the little guy, encouraged by city and state governments, may get a seat at the table.

In a January statement, current SEC Chair Mary Jo White said that her agency had an issue with "the proper scope and application" of how the conflict rule was used, and would review the matter.

The issue, according to McRitchie, involves intentional sabotage of shareholder proposals. "You can't propose something you weren't gonna propose before," he told me. "And that's clearly what Whole Foods had done."

White also went on to announce that the SEC would not offer no-action letters on behalf of other corporations—a move that could have a domino effect, especially for the 75 targets of Stringer's proposals. And they are fighting proxy access tooth and nail: 16 of the companies, including Chipotle and Citigroup, have scrambled to file their own proxy access proposals, which set the bar at a nearly-impossible 8 percent mark, in order to quell tensions.

Since the SEC's decision, GE and Citigroup have effectively thrown in the towel by allowing shareholders to vote for proxy access in the coming months. But Whole Foods has remained quiet; the company's annual shareholders' meeting, originally set for early March, recently postponed until further notice due to the SEC's review. (I have reached out to the lead negotiator for Whole Foods, as well as their Northeast spokesperson, and have yet to hear back.)

McRitchie, of course, is pleased that his Whole Foods proposal is making waves. The way he sees it, Whole Foods' next move is deciding whether to deal with bad press or a bad bet. They can cave to proxy proponents, which would be against their own board's interests but cast the company in a better spotlight for investors. Or the corporation can put both proposals up for a vote and hope for the best.

McRitchie doesn't want any of this to go to court, as judges tend to side with major corporations. "One of the advantages the company has is that the court doesn't know much about the SEC or financial regulation," McRitchie told me. "They're ruling on something they don't necessarily know, and they tend to rule in ignorance."

So if corporate America was democratized, he said, it would be a gradual process. "I don't expect we'd see proxy access be reached," he said. "What should happen, though, is that directors will know someone is looking over their shoulders."

In a July article on the subject, Michael Ryan from the Business Roundtable was quoted as arguing that the recent upswing in proxy access demand is "far from a tipping point in terms of corporate governance." Thousands of corporations exist, he said, and this select few are a small minority. He told me he wouldn't weigh in on the Whole Foods situation, or any individual proxy fight for that matter. (The US Chamber of Commerce, however, wrote a letter to the SEC, criticizing the agency for adding "an additional layer of uncertainty into an already complicated set of rules.")

One question that often remains unasked is what would it even mean for average citizens if corporate board elections were a bit more democratic? Even investors with only 3 percent of a company's shares are generally very wealthy, and transferring power from the obscenely rich to the merely well-off doesn't strike some as being very progressive.

"We'd love it if Elon Musk got on the board of Exxon and changed their whole business plan to focus on electric cars—but that's never going to happen," Karthik Ganapathy, a spokesman for 350.org, Bill McKibben's environmental group, told me. "There's no way the most powerful corporations on the planet are going to hand over the reins to anyone who would seriously challenge their destructive practices. Fossil fuel companies have made it crystal clear—in their business plans, in their letters to shareholders, and in their political lobbying—that they have no intention of combating climate change.

"The NYC Comptroller can stick his fingers in his ears and talk about democratizing the board process, but that isn't going to change the fundamental reality that divestment is the only practical and responsible way forward," he continued. "A democracy initiative may work at the Park Slope Food Coop, but it's not going to make a lick of difference at a place like Chevron."

But proxy access isn't about changing the way businesses fundamentally operate—it's a reform aimed at making corporations more responsive to shareholders (as opposed to the general public) and perhaps alter the decision-making processes inside boardrooms.

"Even if we weren't able to elect one board member, the fact that we could do this in this country would change corporate America," Stringer said.

"Hopefully," McRitchie said, "it'll make directors feel somewhat accountable to the ones who elect them."

Follow John Surico on Twitter.

VICE Vs Video Games: Notorious Gangsters and No Games: The Gory Story of the Gizmondo

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This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

In 1981, an auto shop worker living in Uppsala, Sweden, went down for three months on robbery charges. Seven years later, he found himself back behind bars, this time for drugs- and arms-related convictions. But prison didn't stall Stefan Eriksson's pursuit of wealth beyond legal means, nor his lust for regional power imposed through a campaign of violent intimidation. Come the early 1990s, he headed what the domestic media came to call the Uppsala mafia. Further jail time followed, as is to be expected when you've attempted to defraud the Swedish Bank Giro Central out of 22 million krona.

Eriksson is a career criminal of the purest kind, unfalteringly chasing a payday by all and any nefarious means—but not a particularly successful one, as his lengthy arrest record serves as a testament to. In 2006 he was arrested in the States, where he'd bought a property in Bel Air, on suspicion of grand theft auto and cocaine possession, among other ill doings. He went down again. But between spells in the can he found the time to invest in a brand-new games console—one that "celebrates" its tenth anniversary in March 2015.

Fellow Swede Carl Freer founded a tiny electronics distributor in 2000, called Eagle Eye Scandinavian. A wholly improbable merger happened in 2002 when Freer joined forces with Michael Carrender, the director of a carpet retailer in Florida. A new company was born, Tiger Telematics Inc, with Freer as its CEO. Its mission: to take on the giants of Nintendo and Sony and launch an innovative handheld machine that would change the face of gaming on the go. But Tiger needed capital, which is where Eriksson and two other executives, Peter Uf and Johan Enander, came into the already somewhat suspicious picture.

Setting up shop in Farnborough, an unremarkable town just off the M3 linking Southampton to London, Tiger was immediately presented with a second-tier competitor as Nokia unveiled its freakish console-in-a-phone N-Gage in October 2003. Around three million of these "frankenphones" were sold, qualifying the N-Gage as a greater success than the Atari Lynx but an outright failure beside Nintendo's market-dominating device of the time, the 2004-launched DS.

Tiger's response to the N-Gage reaching retail was to post details of their own contraption online. At the time named the Gametrac, this "lifestyle" product was pitched at the seven-to-15-year-olds market, packing MP3 playback and SMS compatibility beside 3D gaming and GPS functionality so, get this, "parents concerned about their children's whereabouts" could keep tabs on them. The concept pitch became a working product at January 2004's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, and soon enough the system's technical director Steve Carroll was talking the talk like an industry pro.

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"Affordably priced, pocket-sized and seriously sexy," is how Carroll described the Gizmondo to games trade site MCV in the summer of 2004. It was certainly small when released in March 2005, especially if you were still rocking baggy jeans, but sexy? That's a matter of taste, I suppose. Affordably priced, though, the Gizmondo certainly wasn't. After a shower of celebrities-supported launch events and advertising featuring Formula 1 driver Jenson Button, it retailed for a hardly pocket-money-friendly £229—or close enough to $400 in the States, where a considerably slighter promotional campaign led to incredibly poor public visibility. That's £100 more than Nintendo's DS had launched for, and that handheld had Mario, Rayman, Pokémon and more. The Gizmondo debuted with Trailblazer. And that was it.

Trailblazer wasn't terrible, at all—a high-speed racer of sorts, it looked like a rhythm action game like Amplitude mixed with the PlayStation classic Wipeout, but was actually a souped-up rework of a game that'd come out for the Commodore 64 in the mid 1980s. But the Gizmondo wasn't going to get by on a fancily clothed clone of something that'd earned a high score in Zzap!64. More titles were needed, fast, and when the system's own Regent Street store opened up, its coming-soon shelves indicated that plenty were expected: ports of Worms World Party and Carmageddon, the "world's first GPS video game" Colors, and bizarrely titled affairs like Milo and the Rainbow Nasties and Momma I Can Mow the Lawn. Bankable franchises were dangerously thin on the ground, but progress was being made.

Progress pulled a muscle. In total, only 14 games were commercially released for the Gizmondo—more a clutch of crap than a catalogue of classics. Many were deplorable. Of the titles that weren't, the chuckle-worthy puzzler Sticky Balls earned an iOS rebirth in 2014 and was regarded as a must-have for Gizmondo owners, and Gizmondo Motocross 2005 was an enjoyable, Super Skidmarks-recalling isometric racer with plenty of fart-like motorbike emissions. A couple of EA titles, FIFA 2005 and SSX 3, also transferred to the console, although you'll be lucky to find anyone who owned a copy.

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Because the Gizmondo made N-Gage's meagre sales look like an industry conquering achievement. Fewer than 25,000 units were shifted, and the fact that all of its games came out between March 2005 and October of the same year tells you everything about its longevity, as Tiger struggled to impress against more-established competitors. A £100 price cut just a month after launch couldn't improve its fortunes dramatically, and the Gizmondo was killed off in February 2006—the same month that Eriksson crashed a $2 million Ferrari in California at such speed, reportedly around 162 MPH, that the car was torn in half. The resulting investigation developed into the charges that put the Gizmondo partner back in prison later that year. On release in 2008, he was deported back to Sweden to face the music for crimes committed in his homeland, including aggravated assault.

The console never recovered—not from its first-year flop, or its ties with the main man of the Uppsala mafia. A proposed widescreen version with WiFi connectivity didn't make market, but its announcement meant that American consumers yet to see the original go on sale simply waited for the better machine, completely killing the system's chances in the territory. (A classic case of the Osborne effect.) Tiger Telematics went out of business in early 2006, as previous collaborators lined up to aim lawsuits at the company, including Formula 1 racing team Jordan and MTV Europe. When the dust had settled, liquidators found nothing of value left at Tiger, with losses in the first nine months of 2005 said to amount to half a million pounds per day against total sales revenue of under one and a half million.

Freer had resigned in October 2005, when reports first surfaced of Tiger's connections with known criminals. He resurfaced in 2007, announcing his intention to revive the Gizmondo brand. But a new system would never come out, with Freer offering excuses when he could. "The delay is due to the economic climate in the US, as well as the rest of the world," he told Swedish writer Hans Sandberg in late 2008, and in August 2012 he spoke to Eurogamer about the project, saying "of course" he was still hoping to launch it, and doing so against all odds would be "any entrepreneur's' dream"—"I've learned more from my mistakes than from any success I've ever had."

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Perhaps the first mistake Freer made was getting into the console business—the second being getting into bed with Eriksson and his cohorts. Prior to the Gizmondo, several examples existed of newcomers to the industry crashing disastrously against the era-dependent rocks of Sony, Nintendo, Sega and Microsoft: Apple and Bandai's Pippin, Trip Hawkins' 3DO and Philips' CD-i all tried and failed. (Yet, as the Ouya and Valves's Steam Machines illustrate, pretenders will forever step forth to challenge the reigning champions.) Today, the Gizmondo is not only the lowest-selling handheld console, but also regarded in some quarters as the absolute worst gaming system of all time, ever.

A deserved reputation? Probably. The deals made by Eriksson to suppliers were promises that the tiny company could never hope to fulfill, and its fate was sealed before the console ever reached Regent Street, with salaries in 2004 amounting to way more than Tiger would ever see in sales revenue. Its discontinuation was pain-relieving release, its very presence in the games world a black spot beside shiny gold teeth and rainbow plumes, to swing off some appropriate pirate imagery. Carroll says the Gizmondo was "ahead of its time," but the truth of the matter is that the entire enterprise only earns its place in video gaming history because of its corrupt-to-the-core backstory. Happy birthday, you stinking piece of shit.

Follow Mike Diver on Twitter.

My Evening at a Bisexual Orgy in a South London Sauna

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Some guests at The Locker Room who definitely aren't taking part in an orgy. (All photos courtesy of The Locker Room)

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Kully—a young Asian guy who's butt-naked, except for the cup of Ribena balanced strategically to cover his crotch—is really holding forth.

"Woman have all the power in this world. They get the best employment, everything. I work in pharmaceuticals. You know how I got my last job? I waited outside the company premises every night on my girl days, dressed up as a woman. Then I got chatting to one of the gentlemen that works there. I told him that my boyfriend needed a job—my boyfriend was me, of course," he sighs. "Well, after I had pleasured him he was keen to offer me his number. The next day I called and arranged an interview. I attended, dressed as a man this time, and got the job! A three-month contract!"

And he didn't figure out that you were the same person as the girl who'd given him a blowjob, just wearing different clothes?

"No, he never guessed. But there's no way I would have got that job if I hadn't met him as a girl first. The female is all-powerful in this society."

It's a rainy Thursday night in Kennington, South London, and we're at Bi Bi Baby, which is billed online as "a monthly bisexual party event primarily for boys and girls who like boys and girls. But everyone's welcome provided they are bi, friendly and respectful to the people and the venue."

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The venue in question is the Locker Room, a gay sauna situated in a leafy, upmarket area of Kennington. Beyond a square of tall Georgian mansions and a rustic-looking pub, its bold monochrome sign and blacked-out windows are incongruous to say the least.

Keen to document what a naked bisexual party might look like, imagining some bacchanalian orgy of decadence, I decide to pay a visit. The event is billed to start at 6.30 PM—presumably to attract the after-work crowd—but I'm not able to get there until 9 PM. When I arrive, I'm greeted by a friendly, naked bloke on reception who, despite his nipple ring, looks a little like a member of the cast of Brideshead Revisted. After I've paid the £20 ($30) entrance fee he hands me a black towel and asks if I've been before. When I tell him I haven't he buzzes me in and, in front of a group of seated guys, girls, and trans girls, most of them nude or wearing towels, gives me a rundown of where everything is. A chill-out space upstairs with sauna, steam room, and darkrooms in the basement. I can't help feeling it's a bit like the start of one of those prison films where the rookie lag gets paraded around by the guard before being torn apart by the other cons.

Not that Bi Bi Baby is in any way threatening. Quite the contrary: The atmosphere is relaxed and friendly. What is disappointing is the male-female ratio. When I get there, precisely three women are in attendance, as well as two trans revellers. There are probably close to 20 guys. If this is meant to be a bisexual party, then either these numbers are seriously out of whack or the girls are going to be knackered by the end of the night. But perhaps I'm simply too late. Dave, the organizer, tells me that it was rammed at 7 PM.

It has been said—unfairly, and often by people who don't know any better—that bisexuals are greedy, wanting the best of both worlds. It seems they're impatient, too, wanting to get their rocks off and get out early.

I sit down next to Dora, a heavyset woman in her late 40s, who's watching a porn movie with Chantelle, a French trans girl in a latex dress.

"Wow. That was unexpected," she says.

On screen, a woman with a bad 80s Bonnie Tyler perm has just revealed her massive penis.

I ask Dora if she's been coming to clubs like this for long.

"Oh yeah. I have a husband, a boyfriend, and a girlfriend, and I like to supplement them, so it makes sense."

How did she first get into the scene?

"My husband got ill, so he can't really play any more. He gave me his blessing. Once a month I come here and then stay over with my boyfriend in Stoke Newington."

"That's right. Drain me. That's a good boy. Empty that nutsack," he says, poetically, patting his companion's head.

Downstairs, De'lacy's " Hideaway" and other bad 90s club music plays on a loop from tinny speakers. Blue light illuminates the gloom, which is otherwise almost impenetrable, what with all the steam. Naked people hang around in the labyrinthine subterranean passage, watching and waiting. There are condom wrappers everywhere. On a ledge outside the sauna there's a bottle of Dettol. I head into the steam room. Here, a middle-aged bear is getting pleasured by someone I can't make out, while a group of four others stand and watch.

"That's right. Drain me. That's a good boy. Empty that nutsack," he says, poetically, patting his companion's head.

In the sauna, Kully, who clearly likes to talk, is ranting on again to a crowd of semi-interested guys.

"You have to learn how to be seductive as a girl," he explains. "There's an art to it. It's in how you talk, how you move. That's why, in India, there's a hierarchy among the shemales. So the older ones can teach the younger ones the Karma Sutra. Tell them how it works."

All of this is fine, but I do wonder if the supposed bi ethos of the night has been lost in what seems like a fundamentally gay party. Apart from one attractive blonde woman with huge pendulous breasts who disappears quickly into one of the private rooms with her partner, I have yet to see any male-female action at all. Even Vern and Melissa—who I'd met before at Club 487, the New Cross porn cinema, and are apparently well-known faces on the swinging circuit—seem to have done little more than wander around and chat.

Dave, who's run the party for the last six years, first at its previous location in Romford and now here, is sanguine.

"You've got to get in early," he says. "People like to come, do their business and leave. We get 90 in here sometimes."

It's nearly 11 PM, and finally a bisexual scene of the kind promised on the tin takes place, in a small alcove adjoining the chill-out area, beneath the gleaming light of an HD porn screen. A well-built black guy is having sex with Dora, who, in between taking another dude in her mouth, yelps in appreciation. Next to them Kully lays back to accommodate a good-looking Moroccan man, while others queue behind, fiddling impatiently with their condoms. Not to be excluded, Chantelle gives one of them a blowjob. I pour a coffee (hot drinks and orange juice are free) and stand watching for a while next to a Francis Bacon lookalike who, for whatever reason, has been excluded from the action. Dave turns and winks proudly. Finally, the party is really going off.

"We have the news on sometimes," says the Brideshead guy as I'm leaving, indicating the omnipresent "shemale porn" that plays on the screen above his desk.

Rather like working in a chocolate factory, nonstop boning must get a little much after a while, even for the most enthusiastic connoisseur. But judging by the grunts and groans that are still audible as I walk out into the cold, the revelers at Bi Bi Baby are far from finished this evening.

All names have been changed to protect anonymity

Follow John on Twitter.

Photos That Are Too Hard to Keep

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The following is a selection from the Too Hard to Keep submissions Jason Lazarus has received in the past year—responses to a request for photographs deemed too difficult to hold on to by their owners. See the ad below. Submissions are exhibited anonymously, without attribution.

How Chinese Women Get Around the One-Child Policy and Save Money by Giving Birth in the US

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Photo by David Leo Veksler

On March 3, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) launched a series of raids on "birth tourism" centers in Southern California. These companies, which allow Chinese women to give birth in the United States for a fee, were hit with charges including visa fraud, tax evasion, and willful failure to report foreign financial accounts, among others.

Birth tourism is nothing new—and not an exclusively Chinese phenomenon, either—but while it's often said that Chinese women travel to America to give birth chiefly to obtain citizenship and passports for their children, many also seek better and cheaper health care and to avoid fines for having extra children.

According to court documents, the average amount pregnant women pay to birth tourism centers ranges from $16,000 to $50,000, not including medical expenses. While paying tens of thousands of dollars to give birth in America may seem steep, for many Chinese families this decision will actually save them money in the long run.

"You know, if you're going to have a baby in the year of the horse, it's going to cost you a lot to get in with a good doctor," said Katherine, the wife of a mid-ranking Chinese government official, when we spoke about my apprehensions about having a child in China. (Her name, like all others in this article, has been changed to protect her privacy.) "All the best doctors are going to be booked way in advance. You'll need to find a way to get an 'in,' either through a connection, or getting a slot with another department and sneaking your way in. But don't worry. I know some people who can help you pass a hongbao to a good doctor."

The hongbao—red envelopes that are traditionally used to present monetary gifts to newlyweds or small children during the New Year—are one of the ways pregnant women can bribe their way to a competent, trustworthy obstetrician in China's public hospitals during popular birth years. During those times, families try to set their children up for a lifetime of success by giving birth to them on an auspicious date, or at least in an auspicious year.

This belief is so powerful that in the weeks leading up to February 19, 2015, some hospitals saw a ten-fold increase in scheduled C-sections as parents tried to bring their children into the world before the start of the unfavorable year of the sheep. 2014 was the year of the horse (a particularly desirable year) so the hongbao given to doctors were especially fat, containing as much $5,000. Add to that the hospital's fee of $8,000 to $15,000 for a natural birth at an established and highly ranked facility, and spending $15,000 for an American birth—and all of the benefits it entails—starts looking like a bargain.

"Financially speaking, coming to America to give birth is a good deal," said Joanna, a Chinese accountant whose baby was due in the year of the horse. "By the time I found out I was pregnant, all the good hospitals were full. I could spend the money to bribe my way in or give birth at a foreign-operated hospital, but then I'd still have to live in the pollution, work, and slog my way through traffic every day." Plus, Joanna had obtained her tourist visa legitimately on a previous trip to the US, meaning she wasn't at risk of being charged with visa fraud.

"I already had one miscarriage a few years back, so why take the risk?" she said, rubbing her round belly. "The $15,000 is worth it. This way, I get to relax and just focus on growing my baby."

Saving money on medical costs is a minor expense compared to fines for extra births. Lianghui, who lives in Shandong province, paid twice his annual income for his second daughter, and would have paid thrice that for his third child—a long-awaited son—if he didn't have a way out. "Rather than paying the fine, we registered him to my brother who lives in Canada and isn't planning on coming back," he told me.

But not everyone has the ability to exceed birth quotas. In 2012, social media lit up with the case of a woman who was forced to have a late-term abortion by local government officials trying to enforce the one-child policy. Soon, photos were released of the woman laying unconscious on her hospital bed next to her aborted seven-month-old fetus. (Eventually the online outrage led to the responsible officials being fired.)

And for China's wealthiest citizens, giving birth to a child overseas, not registering that child in China, and paying a lifetime of additional fees for China's "out-of-state" education and medical fees will still save them money in the long run—last year, director Zhang Yimou was forced to pay $1.23 million for violating family planning laws

Of course, most families still come to America to give birth as an insurance policy against an uncertain political and economic future. Many, like Daniel, don't have a clear vision of why they want their child to be an American citizen, but go ahead and do it anyway. "Everyone else was doing it, so we figured we would as well," he told me. "If anything, it will ensure that our son has a chance to go to school in America if he can't compete in the academic system here."

Others act with much more urgency, sending both their children and their wealth overseas at a young age. The crackdown on government corruption has fueled massive emigration over the past few years, as thousands of government officials move their money out of China before they are targeted.

Wealthy Chinese businessmen have joined the exodus, including one birth tourism center owner who sold his lucrative franchise, invested enough to be eligible for an EB-5 visa (an investment visa for immigrants who can inject $1 million into the American economy), and moved to Southern California.

"When I first arrived I planned on opening another business, but that's almost impossible for someone who doesn't know the language," he said. "I bought a couple of houses as an investment, but rather than having them sit empty until they appreciate, I thought: Why not start a maternity hotel? Over the past few years I've hosted over 100 women in my neighborhood. It's not a lot of money compared to the big operators, but it pays the bills. Truth be told, it's a boring job, but at least it's something."

When asked whether or not he expected his business to drop in light of the recent raids, he shrugged and said: "This year is the year of the sheep, so there will be a lot less women having babies to begin with. It's hard to say how the raids will affect our business. Honestly, they haven't targeted the women, and the need for the service is still great, so I think women will still keep on coming. Just maybe not this year."

Follow Jennifer Thomé on Twitter.


In Georgia, the Battle Over Voting Rights Rages On

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Over the weekend, President Obama and about a hundred members of Congress trekked to Selma, Alabama, to join civil rights leaders in marking the 50th anniversary of the vicious beating of civil rights activists attempting to cross the city's Edmund Pettus Bridge. The 1965 attack on peaceful protesters that came to epitomize the brutality of Southern racism is credited with spurring Congress to pass the Voting Rights Act that same year, resulting in one of the crowning achievements of the civil rights movement. For decades, this law ensured that, in areas with histories of finding new ways to keep minorities from the polls, any proposed voting changes would have to be vetted and approved by the US Justice Department.

The story did not end there. In its 2013 decision on Shelby County v. Holder, the US Supreme Court gutted the core measure of the Voting Rights Act, known as Section 5. Suddenly, nearly fifty years of federal civil rights oversight vanished, leaving people in Southern states and cities to fend for themselves against a new crop of restrictive voting laws that have come out in force since the ruling.

Perhaps nowhere have the rapid onset of those changes been felt more than the central Georgia town of Macon. Shortly after the Shelby decision, I visited Macon. It was a sweltering Labor Day afternoon, and C. Jack Ellis—the first and only black person to be elected mayor of Macon—was pounding the pavement ahead of a mid-September election. September is an odd month for holding an election, and it had certainly not been the customary Election Day in Macon. But these were not usual circumstances. The city's new voting schedule was the result of a months-long battle over a controversial voting change whose fate was ultimately decided by the by the Shelby decision. So Ellis was scrambling to spread the word of the new election date.

Six weeks earlier, just before the Supreme Court's ruling, the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division was taking a close look at the divisive plan to move Macon's off-year elections from the usual November date to the summer. The city's black community had implored the federal agency to object to the change under Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act; black turnout can reduce significantly during the summer months. The controversial law would also make Macon's local elections nonpartisan, a move that some anticipated would erode the city's predominantly black Democratic voting bloc.

The DOJ itself seemed skeptical of the proposal to change the date. Apparently not satisfied with the initial explanation for the Republican-backed plan, the federal agency had asked for more information on the new law and also extended its review period. In the nearby town of Augusta, the department had recently blocked a similar date change, also pushed by Republicans, on the grounds that it would discriminate against black voters by disproportionately impeding their access to the polls there.

If the DOJ was going to try to block the Macon law, it never got the chance. On June 25th, the Shelby decision dropped. Suddenly, 48 years of federal oversight vanished, clearing the way for the date-switch to take effect.

In the subsequent months, fresh battles began across the country over the issue of equal access to the ballot box. Texas and Alabama made headlines by quickly announcing that the state legislatures would renew efforts to enact restrictive voter ID laws that the federal government had previously blocked. North Carolina and a number of other states followed close behind.

Beginning in 1965, city and county governments had accounted for many of the Justice Department's Section 5 objections. After Shelby, these smaller jurisdictions also began quietly and quickly implementing new voting laws. This included a number of Macon's neighbors. In Greene County, Georgia, for instance, local officials began implementing a new and controversial redistricting plan that the DOJ had previously objected to on the grounds that it was discriminatory. In nearby Morgan County, a divisive plan quickly surfaced that would eliminate more than half of the county's polling sites. And in October, the NAACP scrambled to stop rural Baker County from eliminating all but one of its five polling places.

Across the board, civil rights advocates and local leaders told me that, in the absence of federal oversight, they felt a diminished sense of confidence that discriminatory voting laws could be effectively blocked. Section 5 was not the only means to challenge bad laws, but, by stopping them before they took effect, it was by far the most useful.

"Our whole argument was based on Section 5," said Georgia state representative James Beverly, whose district includes Macon, referring to the effort to oppose the date-change in that town. "There are so many things we have to consider now. Like what if we go to court and lose? Then we create a precedent that could negatively impact other areas. Our federal courts here are not necessarily friendly when it comes to the Voting Rights Act."

With the opposition unable to agree on a strategy to fight the date change, Macon moved forward with its September election. When locals cast their ballots that month, Ellis, who left office in 2007, came in behind the city's white incumbent, and subsequently lost the election in an October runoff. "I'm disappointed at the low turnout, for such an important election as this," Ellis told a local radio station after the vote. A black city council member in a majority-black district also lost to a white challenger in the September election.

For months, there was talk of suing to block Macon's date-change, but no legal challenge emerged. Nevertheless, the new election law remained contentious. Last February, NPR ran a segment linking the black election losses in the Macon election to the Shelby ruling. Mercer University law professor named David Oedel, writing in the Macon Telegraph, bristled at the NPR story, saying that it had disregarded local nuances in order to make the Macon election fit a narrative of post-Shelby voter suppression. He argued that Shelby had not let loose a voting rights catastrophe in Macon—and that the date switch was both legal and equitable. (The law's authors said it was necessary to bring Macon into uniformity with the several other Georgia towns that had merged their city and county governments.) The black candidates, Oedel said, had "lost fair and square."

While the NPR story could probably have included more background, in the long run, the situation in Macon—specifically, the prolonged and inconclusive disagreement over particulars of a voting law—was exactly what the federal preclearance was so effective at stopping. Under Section 5, bad laws were blocked, and laws that were deemed fair were given the endorsement of a federal agency. Determining whether a voting law like Macon's date-switch is discriminatory relies on vast sets of variables that no one commentator can easily parse. (Unlike cutting early voting days or eliminating polling places, changing a date does not inherently limit polling access.) Before Shelby, this was just sort of data-crunching that the Justice Department's army of eggheads was ready to deploy with each applicable voting change.

After Shelby, the business of parsing and challenging new voting rules has become far messier. Although the Supreme Court did let stand Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act, which lets people sue to invalidate discriminatory laws that are already in place, that route is far more difficult. Reliance on Section 2 shifts the burden of proof from away from those writing a law and on to the plaintiffs bringing a challenge, noted Myrna Perez, director of the Voting Rights and Elections Project at the Brennan Center for Justice. For civil rights advocates, this can mean an uphill—and expensive—battle.

"Under Section 2, we're constantly having to fights with [authorities] to turn over things like old email," Perez said. "It makes it more resource intensive and more difficult to amass the evidence required to argue there is a problem."

In Macon, residents have threatened Section 2 action against certain plans to alter voting rules. In late January, black leaders from Macon and other parts of Georgia converged on the office of the local Board of Elections to oppose a round of proposed poll closures that they argued would have a disproportionate impact on the city's black communities. The meeting grew heated at times as black leaders made it clear they would file legal action if the board moved forward with the precinct consolidations. (The meeting ultimately led to the formation of a community panel to further assess the plan.)

"Getting the right to vote wasn't an easy task—walking across the Edmund Pettus bridge wasn't an easy task," Ellis said during the session. Addressing the poll closures, Ellis invoked the now-absent federal authority. "If that was still in place, you couldn't do this without Justice Department clearance."

*Correction: An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated that C. Jack Ellis was voted out of office in 2007. In fact, he left office that year because of term limits.

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Police Baffled by ‘Tweed Jacket Gang' Attack in Edinburgh

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[body_image width='1600' height='1067' path='images/content-images/2015/03/10/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/03/10/' filename='police-baffled-by-tweed-jacket-gang-attack-in-edinburgh-741-body-image-1425987704.jpg' id='34579']Photo via Flickr user Kent Wang

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

A 33-year-old man was attacked in Edinburgh over the weekend by a gang dressed in tweed, brogues, shirts, and jackets, in what experts are calling the first recorded instance of a man being beaten up by a group of time travelers.

As the Scotsman reports, police are appealing for witnesses who may have been there while the incident took place in the Cowgate area of the city during what the Scottish call the "wee hours" of Sunday morning. There is currently no evidence of DeLorean scorch marks—or any residue from a powerful crystal that the time travelers grasped as they were spirited rapidly back to the Victorian time from which they came—but that could honestly just be because the police aren't looking hard enough.

Here's what Det Sgt Neil Stowart had to say about it all: "This appears to have been an unprovoked assault which left the victim needing hospital treatment. We are appealing for anyone who was in the area of the Cowgate around 2:30 AM on Sunday morning [that's Sunday March 18, 2015, on the current timeline we're on] and who saw this altercation take place."

The victim was attacked unprovoked from behind, but did manage to get a glimpse of their attackers and their curious getups before they sprinted away. As a result, police are appealing to anyone who was out in the city on Saturday night and noticed a group of lads not wearing football shirts to come forward with information.

"The group of suspects have been described as wearing distinctive tweed jackets, and so we hope this description will assist in jogging people's memories, particularly if they have information on which pub or bar they were in beforehand."

I can think of three theories to explain the attack:

  1. An aforementioned group of raging time travelers, furious about the death of Prince Albert, decided to leap forward in time by 154 years and go out on the radge, experiencing the delights of our modern kebabs and deep-fried food before going back to Victorian times to look at a pocket watch and die.
  2. Some of those "hipsters" you hear about went postal when the nearby Black Bull ran out of small-batch microbrew and decided to kick the shit out of someone.
  3. A university rugby team decided to have a "posh cunts" theme night and finished the evening in the traditional manner of a university rugby club—that is, by running through an innocent bystander before going home to bray about all the tops they've ever had in their life.

Anyway, police are still looking for leads, and seeing as the victim was taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary with facial injuries and a fractured arm, it's not grassing to call them with information. Contact Police Scotland on 101 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 if you know anything about men from a distant past coming to the future to beat our innocent citizens about the face, arm, and face again.

Follow Joel on Twitter.

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Wikipedia Is Suing the NSA to Preserve Its Users' Anonymity

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Wikipedia Is Suing the NSA to Preserve Its Users' Anonymity

Ecstasy, Ketamine, and Crystal Meth Are Legal in Ireland Until Thursday

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Ecstasy, Ketamine, and Crystal Meth Are Legal in Ireland Until Thursday
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