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A German Town Tricked Some Neo-Nazis into Marching to Raise Money for a Good Cause

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Every year for the past 25 years in  Wunsiedel, a sleepy town in the northeast corner of Germany​, neo-Nazis have marched through the streets in honor of a Deputy Führer Rudolf Hess, who had a family plot in the area until 2011, when his body was exhumed and cremated. Still, the German fascists of today have a real thing for Hess, so the lack of a monument hasn't stopped them from showing up for the past three years, much to the consternation of the Nazi-hating locals.

So when the 2014 march happened two days ago, the townspeople contrived a sort of walk-a-thon, the twist being that for every meter that the neo-Nazis walked, the townspeople would donate an amount of their choosing to an organization called ​Exit Deutschland, a nonprofit that helps reprogram fascists after they stop being fascists. Donations totaled 10,000 euros, or about $12,000.

The organizers didn't inform the neo-Nazis in advance that this was going on. Instead, they welcomed them to their town and put up huge, technicolor banners, informing them of what would happen with each step, along with other signs and spray-painted lettering to encourage them. Signs featured slogans like "Quick like a greyhound, tough like leather, and generous like never before." (It sounds better in German.)

The elaborate, multi-stage prank included markers on the ground to indicate how much money had been donated and a snack station called "Mein Mampf" (My Munch), which was mainly just a table stacked with bananas—a comedy snack if there ever was one. Clearly, no expense was spared. 

You've likely seen this kind of counter-activism before. It was used beautifully when Fred Phelps died and ​people donated to LGBT causes in his name. It was used dickishly when blogger Maddox spited vegetarians with that oft-shared ​graphic that says: "For every animal you don't eat, I'm going to eat three." It was used for laughs when 50 Cent pledged to donate money for ​every word of Harry Potter that Floyd Mayweather read "without stopping or starting or fucking up." 

It's becoming so common, I've given it a name: "trollanthropy." 

The philanthropic aspect of the  Wunsiedel neo-Nazi walk-a-thon was symbolic, of course. Would they have only donated half if the march got interrupted by a rainstorm? I doubt it. Would they have still donated the money if they neo-Nazis had backed off at the start? I'm sure they would have. The important part was that the marchers looked idiotic. The cameras caught delightful shots of their confused faces, and their slow walking made them seem ridiculously self-important, while the townspeople look like they're actually having a good time. If Hess still had a grave, he'd be spinning in it.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twit​ter.


Mucus, Plugs, and Buttholes: The Secrets of a Young Midwife

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Artwork by ​Dan Evans 

This post originally appeared in VICE UK

Midwives are facilitators of life. They are the conduit between a baby's uterine world and our world. But how many of us know what the delivery person actually sees, smells and get soaked in up to four times a day? And, if you're about to give birth, how do you know that what they're going to see between your legs won't shock them? 

We spoke to a young London midwife who works in a busy central London hospital to find out what work at the coalface of colostrum and cervixes actually looks like, and what knowledge they can pass on to new or expecting parents. And to reassure you that, honestly, from catching shits in sanitary towels to getting amniotic facials, they've seen it all before. 

YOUR BUTTHOLE 
Women should not be embarrassed about shitting in front of their midwife. "We literally don't give a toss—it doesn't faze us," my midwife friend says, smiling. "You just deal with it. You get a sanny pad out, catch it, and get rid of it. It's absolutely fine, and a good sign." You see, when the baby's coming down, it presses against the rectum and that may force a shit out.

Also, don't be surprised to be on all fours, with the midwife staring deep into your butthole. They're looking for signs of full dilatation of the cervix, which can include dilation of the anus. And if you do a shit, the midwives may well start saying things like "It's great!" because it means that things are moving on well.

The urge to shit will come quite late on in the labour, once the baby is fully engaged. Once you're fully dilated the second stage can take up to two hours, but is normally quicker with a second baby.

THROWING UP
Women are sometimes sick when the contractions get really intense, and a bit of diarrhea in early labour is perfectly normal—like a much stronger version of when you have such bad period pains you have to vomit.

Your body is, effectively, chucking out any excess ballast—clearing the way for one of the most complicated, most exhausting and most remarkable things it will ever do. Don't worry that you're ill, or that the midwife will be grossed out. These people are impossible to shock.

THE MUCUS PLUG
"Your cervix is a long channel," explains the midwife. "Inside that canal is a mucus-y plug. It's a good sign of early labour when that mucus plug comes out. It might be bloodstained, which is fine, but if there's fresh blood then we'd worry more." 

If you've never seen a mucus plug before then you can—and I say this from experience—find lots of photos online. It's basically like a little mucus tampon, like the product of a particularly heavy sneeze. And, as she says, it's not remotely disgusting; merely a good sign that things are getting under way.

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL
Your midwife may tell you not to push at the very end. Although naturally you'll have a massive urge to push, the stinging sensation when the head is getting lower is actually a sign to slow down. If the head comes slower—when you just give little pushes—you're less likely to tear. So it's the midwife's job to time it, to guide you, like an air traffic controller.

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GETTING SOAKED
Some midwives have even been known to take a spare pair of pants with them to work, because they regularly go home completely covered in piss, blood and amniotic fluid. Again, like a lifeguard, plumber or Irish farmer, getting soaked right down to your underwear is simply another part of the job for midwives. They don't resent it. 

When the baby's born there's often a lot of amniotic fluid built up behind it. If the head is really tight, you'll only get a trickle when the waters break, but it'll all come out afterwards. "So you're kneeling down on all fours and it'll come shooting out all over you."

Of course, the fluids don't stop once the baby has been born. Babies will frequently piss all down the person who delivered them, while there may be blood and, of course, the odd nappy to sit on during home visits. All of which calls for a change in trousers.

PULLING OUT A PLACENTA
After the baby is born, there's still the niggling little matter of the placenta to be addressed. "When you breastfeed, the same hormone that causes milk let down will also cause the uterus to contract," my midwife friend explains. It's a very clever feedback loop: As the uterus contracts, the placenta will come out. Or you can get an injection, which will cause the same thing. With an injection, the midwife will guard the uterus—with their hands—and pull the placenta out.

The placenta—the thing that has kept the baby connected to the uterine wall and given it all of its nutrients for the last nine months—does contain a lot of minerals and other things of nutritional value. Some women choose to have their placenta capsulated or, at the risk of spending a fairly large sum of money on something that is very likely to get thrown up a few minutes later, turned into a smoothie, with fruit juice and berries.

TIT MASSAGES 
"Advising a woman on hand-expressing can sound quite funny," says our midwife. "If the baby's not feeding very well, you may not get as good a supply." Because, like capitalism, breastfeeding is a case of supply and demand. You have to keep stimulating the breast to keep the milk flowing. Also, there is a theory that the smell or taste of colostrum can make the baby want to feed.

So, don't be afraid to knead your tits like soft white rolls. Your body knows exactly what it's doing and just needs a little encouragement. Any midwife will be happy to give you pointers either over the phone or during one of your home visits.

Don't be surprised to be on all fours with the midwife staring deep into your butthole.

AFTER PAIN
The pain doesn't stop after you've given birth. Any tears may need to be sewn up but don't worry, says our midwife, "it heals very well." Of course it does, otherwise nobody would ever have more than one baby.

You may also experience after pain, often when you're breastfeeding, because the uterus has to carry on contracting into the pelvis. But don't worry, any discomfort or anything you're concerned about can be discussed totally frankly with a midwife. It's what they're there for. 

OTHER THINGS YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF
The danger of booze. Any amount of alcohol during pregnancy could cause problems; visible disabilities, heart problems, ADHD. The more you drink the higher the risk. The less you drink, the lower the risk. And if you don't drink at all for nine months then you've not put your baby at any unnecessary risk. It could be 40 years of care, against nine months of not drinking, says our midwife, which is quite a persuasive bit of math.

BLEEDING AFTER SEX
You may bleed after sex when you're pregnant because your cervix is vascular, i.e., it carries blood. So, if you're prodding it with a healthy bit of horizontal rugby, it may bleed. However, any bleeding during pregnancy should always be reviewed by a doctor—never assume it's normal just because it happened after sex.

MALE MIDWIVES
There are male midwives. Just like there are male obstetricians. And male gynecologists. And male most things, really. They may not have vaginas or ever experience a dilated cervix first hand, but they will have studied for a long time to understand it. 

IF YOUR PARTNER IS MAKING YOU ANXIOUS, TELL THEM TO SOD OFF
Fear, anxiety and stress can all stop your labor progressing. So it's important that your birth partner is someone who will help you feel calm and relaxed. That might be your mum or it might be your boyfriend or girlfriend. And, of course, it might be neither. So, fuck personal politics—pick someone who is going to keep you feeling as relaxed as possible. After all, you've got quite the task ahead of you. 

Follow Neil Frizzell on ​Twitter

Scientists May Have Found the Greatest Evidence of a 'Gay Gene' Yet

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Photo by Franco Folini ​​via Wikimedia Commons​​

Last week, a man ​claimed to have been "delivered" from homosexuality.

"I'm not gay no more. I am delivered! I don't like mens no more," he actually roared in front of crowds at a church in St Louis. "I said I like women. Women, women, women, women!" The pastor then gave the man $100, saying, "God said he's going to bless you because of your commitment. Just to prove it, He just told me to give you $100."

Lucky bastard, eh? Thing is, someone should probably tell this benevolent pastor to hold onto his cash in future, because ​​new genetic research—recently ​published by the New Scientistmay have provided some of the strongest evidence yet that gay people are born gay. 

Researchers analyzed 409 pairs of gay twins. In doing so, they found clear links between sexual orientation in men with "two regions of the human genome that have been implicated before, one on the X chromosome and one on chromosome 8." In layman's terms, scientists are saying this means that they've found a single gene in all of the twins that can only be attributed to sexual orientation. The findings are—according to study leader Alan Sanfers of the NorthShore Research Institute in Evanston, Illinois—an enormous contribution to the catalogue of evidence that "erodes the notion that sexual orientation is a choice."

Gene hunters had previously isolated the so-called "gay gene" back in 1993, with 40 pairs of twins. But this new study is far larger. Over five years, Sanders's team collected blood and saliva samples and looked at the locations of genetic markers called SNPs, or single nucleotide polymorphisms. These are, for those who don't speak genome, the difference of a single letter in our genetic code. The scientists then measured which SNPs were shared by the men.

In all 818 of them, being gay was the only shared trait. The twins were non-identical, see, so similar genetics in traits like height, intelligence, hair color, etc, differed between all sets of twins. So, the scientists reasoned, any SNPs found in the same genetic group—wherever it is in the world—would more than likely be aligned with sexual orientation.

Sanders still stresses that sexual orientation depends on both genetic and environmental factors, and that even if he has honed in on individual genes they may only have a small effect on their own. But this research is huge.

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"This study knocks another nail into the coffin of the 'chosen lifestyle' theory of homosexuality," Simon LeVay—a neuroscientist ​who claimed in 1991 to have found that a particular region within the hypothalamus is smaller in gay men—told New Scientist. "Yes, we have a choice in life, to be ourselves or to conform to someone else's idea of normality, but being straight, bisexual or gay, or none of these, is a central part of who we are, thanks in part to the DNA we were born with."

But presenting religious fanatics with science—however unequivocal—can be a tough task. I know someone with born-again Christian parents who believe that dinosaur bones were buried in the Earth by Satanists to trick us. They said to me once, looking me dead in the eye, that London's National History Museum was "a farcical joke." (This is despite there being plenty of Biblical writings that sound pretty dinosaur-like to me. "The Book of Job," for example, in which Job writes: "Look at Behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox. What strength it has in its loins, what power in the muscles of its belly! Its tail sways like a cedar; the sinews of its thighs are close-knit. Its bones are tubes of bronze, its limbs like rods of iron. It ranks first among the works of God, yet its Maker can approach it with his sword.")

Interpretation is everything. You make your own reality from what you read. Written word—or, indeed, in the case of Sanders's research, empirical scientific evidence—might be black and white, but we all absorb information in different colors. And for the 79 countries around the world where homosexuality is illegal, beliefs surrounding same-sex relationships are often so deep-rooted—so born of a desperate fear of "other"—that you wonder what difference such a strong piece of scientific evidence will make. 

[youtube src='//www.youtube.com/embed/AZ_aSl3ktjg' width='640' height='360']

It's 2014 and so many parts of our world aren't just living in the dark, but actively making the shadows bigger. It's ​now ille​gal to even advocate on the behalf of gay people in some countries, and, if you're ​young and gay in a country like Putin's Russia, you're completely cut off from any kind of legal support network. In some places—Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen, Mauritiana, some parts of Nigeria and Somalia—they ​still murder people for being gay. In August, two adult men were ​hanged in Iran, supposedly for consensual sodomy. 

The ​plasticity of the brain is widely acknowledged and accepted these days. We can change the way we think and, as a result, the physical structure of that grey blancmange we carry around with us. We are capable of eclipsing our own beliefs with more rational ones. "That's your responsibility as a person, as a human being—to constantly be updating your positions on as many things as possible," ​said Malcolm Gladwell recently. "And if you don't contradict yourself on a regular basis, then you're not thinking."

We can only hope (or pray, if that's your bag), then, that such hard science can make a dent in the terrified minds of those who believe that people who fall in love with those wielding similar genitals to their own should be punished for making such a "choice." Surely, as human beings, we're not that fucking stupid. 

Follow Eleanor Morgan on ​Twitter

Brisbane, Australia’s 2014 G20 Security Costs Were $500M Less than Toronto’s

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[body_image width='675' height='442' path='images/content-images/2014/11/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/11/18/' filename='brisbane-australias-2014-g20-security-costs-were-six-times-lower-than-torontos-647-body-image-1416334793.jpg' id='4834']Brisbane cops at the G20 in Australia. Photo ​via Flickr user paul_cunningham.

You may have caught wind of the Brisbane, Australia G20 summit that just wrapped up over the weekend. If you read anything about it, you most likely gleaned that Canada's Prime Minister had a very stern ​warning for Vladimir Putin about the Ukraine conflict (which I'm sure he took so seriously), despite said conflict not making it to the summit's official agenda. Or that Australian cops made fun of Harper for Nickelback, Celine, and Bieber. While the summit officially focused on the global economy, the bad blood between Russia and the west "dominated" the summit according to Al Jazeera, whereas the Toronto Star said those tensions are what the summit will be "remembere​d for."

Besides the posturing over Ukraine, US President Barack Obama pushed an agenda of getting smart about climate change, as Australian protesters literally buried th​eir heads in the sand as a way to protest their current government's deaf and dumb approach to the environment. This came on the heels of America's new climate deal with China, which by all accounts seems like a really great step forward. Harper has alluded to a new Canadian climate plan that will be announced soon, but so far, Canada has been silent on our commitment to environmental progress.

But another interesting detail that emerged from the Brisbane summit, which hasn't been getting that much attention, is the amount of Aussie-bucks that our friends down under spent on security. The Brisbane summit's security costs totalled $100 million, according to the Brisbane Times. That's a lot of money, of course, but in comparison to the 2010 Toronto G8/G20 summits, it's chump change.

While Toronto had the unique challenge of hosting two separate summits in both Muskoka and Toronto for the G8 and G20 respectively, our security budget totaled a seemingly exorbitant $929 million (if you go by Parliament's o​wn​ numbers). The common argument for why Toronto needed this much money is twofold: 1.) cities like Washington, DC or London, England already have a pre-existing super-security infrastructure since they do so many flashy, important things. Toronto needed to build ours from the ground up. 2.) just as former CSIS directo​r Ward Elcock argued, other cities may not be very transparent about the money they've actually spent, whereas Canada has been totally transparent. Scout's honour.

But, what kind of existing security infrastructure did Brisbane have, which required such a low (comparatively low, of course) security budget to be spent in an Australian city of just over 2 million people? Clearly, they're not on the level of a London or a Washington, so why did Toronto go so crazy with spending in 2010?

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Police officers at the Toronto G20 event in 2010. ​Photo via Carl W. He​indl.

​While they did not respond to VICE's request for comment in time for publication, it doesn't take a forensic accountant to determine that the Toronto Police Service (TPS) were a major beneficiary of the G8/G20 security spending. Reports say that the TPS may have netted up to $100 millio​n dollars from the G20 budget, which would equal the Brisbane summit's total security spending. Chief Bill Blair, at the time, explained that his cop squad "did not see this as a windfall opportunity," though his force was able to gear up with things like "Long Range Acoustic Devices (LRADs) that use noise to blare messages and ​​disperse crowds."

I spoke to Jenilee Guebert, the Director of Research for the University of Toronto's G20 and G8 research groups, about summit spending. She told me: "The most expensive summit in history was actually the 2000 Okinawa summit in Japan. And the Japanese chose that particular site because they wanted to funnel funds into Okinawa. It was one of the poorer districts in Japan, so it was a very conscious decision to pick that and spend that much money going into the lead-up to the summit."

The Okinawa G20 was, in fact, a pricey one. Their 2000 G8 cost $7​34 million, and they had a reported 20,000 polic​e officers designated to police the summit. While total security costs for that G8 are apparently unavailable, Guebert's point about funneling money into Okinawa raises an interesting question: If indeed this was a similar case of our government trying to funnel money, where did it go?

Guebert's research group assumes that the total G8/G20 spending for Canada's 2010 summits (which is $1.1 ​billion all told) should be split 35 percent to 65 percent. That means roughly $385 million was spent on the G8 summit in Muskoka. This is more than three times the security budget spent in Kananaskis, Alberta for their G8 in 2002. Kananaskis is the mountainous region outside of Calgary that hosted the G8 one year after 9/11, and yet they didn't need such an extraordinary amount of cash to protect our planet's precious leaders.

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​Photo via Carl W. Heindl.

The Muskoka spending was particularly controversial, as Canada's auditor-general at the time declared "rules wer​e broken" over both the G8 and G20 summit spending; but he called special attention to the "32 municipal projects" that were greenlit in Muskoka from the coffers of a $50 million "G8 Legacy Fund," meant to repay the cottage-country community that hosted the disruptive summit. These 32 projects were in Tony Clement's riding (he is the current President of the Treasury Board), and apparently "the​n-infrastructure minister John Baird approved the funding based on the advice of Clement."

When I reached out to Tony Clement's office for comment, hoping to discuss how Brisbane, Australia was able to spend six times less (given a rough estimate that Toronto's G20 security spending was about $603,850,000) than Canada for their G20, I was told: "The RCMP can assist you with your questions pertaining to security at the G20."

The RCMP did not immediately respond to my request for comment. Their line item in the G8/G20 security spending budget represents roughly 55 percent of the total pie, and of course would not be at liberty to discuss the big picture spending questions I have.

While Clement was, at one point, criminally investigated by the RCMP after a Liberal complaint was filed, pertaining to his G8 spending, the investigation was eventually dropped. By all accounts, however, the process through which the G20/G8 funding was greenlit was a rushed one, which allegedly did not follow the due process required for a decision to be reached where all of the proper information is on the table. At the time, the NDP said Clement circumvented "all normal checks and balances" when it came to making a responsible spending decision on the 32 municipal projects for his riding.

In 2011, a political source told the Toronto Star that the $50 million G8 legacy fund "has nothing to do with a legacy for the G8. It seems like a legacy to the minister. [They] did everything but build a statue to Tony Clement in the riding."

Clement has since admitted that he overloo​ked certain procedural checks and balances.

To make his "legacy fund" even more peculiar, the City of Toronto, which was ransacked and riotted through by cops and protesters alike, did not receive a comparable "le​gacy" fund to repair the city. David Miller, Toronto's then-mayor, called out Ottawa for their excessive spending on the summits, saying it could have been better used to boost T​oronto transit.

This all may seem like old news now, but the G8 and G20 summit budgets were designed and pushed through by our current government. And, with cities that have a similar population size to Toronto, like Brisbane, holding G20 summits with spending that comes to a fraction of our Toronto G20 cost, it seems even more brazen that such an enormous amount of money was pumped into Canada's summits.

Add that to the ongoing legal trauma caused by numerous accounts of police brutality during the summit (a Toronto cop will be facing a h​earing tomorrow after ordering the detentions of more than 260 people for, allegedly, no good reason), and it's not hard to see that Canada might have gone too far. This is not to mention two significant class action law​suits against the TPS are only in the preliminary legal stages. These cases were brought by hundreds of citizens, who are suing TPS, a police force that is defending itself using public money. And, there is also the currently unresolved issue of G20 detainees being videotape​d during strip searches.

With all of this in mind, I reached out to the Prime Minister's office, and asked specifically how they reconcile the major spending discrepancy between the Toronto G20 and Australia's most-recent summit. I was told, by their Director of Communications Jason MacDonald: "The amount spent on security at the G20 four years ago was what was believed necessary to ensure the protection of the many world leaders in attendance at that particular meeting at that point in time."

Toronto did, indeed, get a serious amount of protection for the visiting leaders. And the city certainly did feel as if $600+ million was spent on locking the city down, given the makeshift detention centre, the intense swarm of cops (Toronto had four times the cops that London did for their 2009 G20), and the gigantic security fencing around Union Station. But to the untrained eye, how can you really tell how many millions were spent, without a deep audit?

Parliament's own assessment admits that "it is not possible to compare Toronto with previous G20 meetings" due to a lack of data, and identifies a key threat that explains some of the spending: "protesters would be considered a known threat and a portion of security operations would be geared to countering this specific threat."

With so many questions pertaining to the rushed nature of budget approvals, and with only a vague understanding where the money went, even now, four years later, it's no wonder the G20 and G8 summits in Toronto were once called "​the billion dollar mystery." Considering the questionab​le efficacy of such summits to address the key issues of the world to begin with (Ebola and the environment were ignored in Brisbane, whereas economic promises were made that likely won't be met), it raises a new, larger question: Why do we have these summits in the first place?

@patrickmc​guire

The "Smack My Bitch Up" Video Was Inspired by a Crazy Night Out in Copenhagen

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​This article originally appeared on VICE Denmark. 

Even if you haven't heard the name ​Jonas Åkerlund before now, you've definitely seen some of his work. The longhaired former Bathory drummer is now one of the most iconic music video directors of our time, having made a couple of pop classics like Madonna's "Ray of Light" and Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi." Before all of that though, he got his big break with the controversial video for "​Smack My Bitch Up" by the Prodigy. Apparently, the idea for the first-person POV video, where a woman does a bunch of drugs, goes out and gets wasted, and then brings a pretty lady home to get frisky with, was based on a night out that Åkerlund had in Copenhagen. We called Jonas up to hear what went down that particular evening.

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Photo by Longrenn Widell Photography

VICE: Hey Jonas, how's it going?
Jonas Åkerlund: Hey, I'm freezing my balls off over here in LA, but it's good. Thank God you're speaking English, I was afraid that this would be in Danish and I'm totally shit at it.

When was the last time you were over here in Copenhagen?
I've gone every summer since I was young, actually; been in and out of the city my whole life. Now it's a little different though, I mostly just take the kids to Tivoli and have some nice dinner.

So it was a little crazier in your youth?
Oh yeah, it used to be the place to go and get wasted and smuggle beer and alcohol back to Sweden because it was a lot cheaper. We used to get a private boat, before the bridge to Sweden was built, and just sail it over. But it's not illegal to bring booze back anymore, so that thrill is gone. Copenhagen was the place to go and see uncensored movies, too, because it's always been a lot more open over there. I remember seeing Evil Dead 2 there back in the day.

Rumor has it that the "Smack My Bitch Up" video was inspired by a crazy night out in Copenhagen, can you tell us about that night?
​I actually don't remember much of that night at all. Not because we were too wasted or anything, but because it was a seriously long time ago. I think it's better if I start from the beginning of the whole thing, is that ok?

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Jonas's storyboards for "Smack My Bitch Up," which he made by following a couple around getting wasted in Stockholm.

Please do.
Well it was a random series of coincidences that got me the video in the first place. I hadn't made anything outside of Sweden yet, but I was lucky enough to have worked with Roxette, who were big internationally, so that gave my work some kind of spread. I got a call from Liam from the Prodigy one day and he invited me to his house in Essex to talk to me about making a video for their new single, "Smack My Bitch Up." I was pretty excited, because these guys were really cool and here I am, this longhaired metal dude, totally out of my element. So he showed the rest of the guys a video I made for a ​Per Ge​ssle track "Kix," and I got the job.

And then you decided to make it about this night in Copenhagen?
No, actually. I had absolutely no ideas at all. I even ended up canceling the job because I couldn't think of anything great; my mind was totally blank. So I had to quit the job. I then decided to take one of those Copenhagen escapades with my friend Hans to blow off some steam. We took the ferry from Helsingborg to Helsingør and then drove down the coast to the city and got a room at Hotel Kong Frederik, which was probably way out of our budget. I have no idea why we ended up there.

That's when the night got crazy?
Well, like I said, I don't remember much of it, but what I do remember is at the end of the night Hans and I were at a strip club around the corner from the hotel. It's not there anymore, though. We were totally wasted and I kept losing him, so I remember at some point going into the bathroom and finding a locked stall and thinking Hans was stuck in there and something went wrong, so I kicked open the door and it was just some poor random dude taking a dump. That image in my head of kicking down the door and finding a random guy taking a dump is what gave me the whole idea for the video. I called the guys from the band the next day and said I had an idea if they wanted to give me the job back.

[body_image width='1200' height='815' path='images/content-images/2014/11/17/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/11/17/' filename='we-heard-the-music-video-for-smack-my-bitch-up-was-about-a-night-body-image-1416234313.jpg' id='4410']

How come the main character ended up being a woman instead of you?
I literally didn't think much about it, other than it would be an unexpected twist if this crazy party person was a woman and not a man. Some feminists loved it and some hated it. It was supposed to be outrageous and over the top, and we considered it comedy when we watched it later.

What was the actual shoot like?
It was absolutely crazy. We shot the whole thing in one day in London and we didn't have GoPro or anything back then so we had to tape a gigantic old 35-mm film camera onto Henrik, the director of photography, and the poor guy had to wear it all day. I even have photos of him napping with it on. Plus we were constantly trying to hide from my bosses because they had seen the storyboards that we made with tits and blood all over them and they told me I'd be fired if I made it like that.

Did the band love the video when they first saw it?
Nope, I got fired after the first edit. They had been hassling me for a rough edit so I threw something together without any effects or anything and sent it off on a VHS, and then I got a fax telling me that the label hated it, I was fired, and to stop working on it. The funny thing is after they stopped breathing down my neck I could say "fuck it" and do it how I wanted. So I ended up finishing it and sending it to the lead singer just to show him, and he loved it.

Luckily. And then you went on to make Madonna's "Ray of Light" video, how the hell did that happen?
Well that's a whole other interview but yeah—she saw "Smack My Bitch Up" somehow and loved it, and actually called me personally to ask me to work on her video. I didn't believe her so I hung up and she had to call me back and convince me it really was Madonna.

Follow Danika Maia on ​Twitt​er.

Rule Britannia: Young Reoffenders - Part 2 - Part 2

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In this episode of Rule Britannia, VICE meets "Saky's Finest"—a gang of young reoffenders based on the Saxton Road estate in Abingdon, Oxfordshire. Locked into a cycle of reoffending and going to jail, some of these guys have spent so much of their childhood in Young Offenders' Institutes that they'd rather be back inside than in the real world.

In the second part, things start to unravel for the boys of Saxton Road. Shop owner Reggie has had a grievance exacted upon him in front of his shop and Coopz, who has been rebailed, risks falling back into the cycle of reoffending that might keep him from his girlfriend for nearly a decade. 

Ross goes to see Ali, who is on the run from the police and fishing at a nearby lake, where he recounts the tale of when he bottled himself on purpose in a fight. Meanwhile, after only a few weeks out of prison, Pitts has reoffended and is left to consider where it all went wrong for him and his friends.

​Why Did a Ghost Hunter Stab Himself Inside a Famous Ax-Murder House?

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On November 7, a visitor to the world-renowned Villisca Axe Murder House in Villisca, Iowa, was rushed to a nearby hospital after being found with a self-inflicted stab wound to his chest. The house is a familiar site to paranormal investigators, who have ​proclaimed it to be one of the most haunted places in America following the 1912 murders of six children and two adults whose skulls were crushed while they slept in their beds. The crime was never solved, and visitors to the house regularly report emotional, physical, and supernatural disturbances during their overnight visits.

"They play with the children, they hear voices, they get pictures of anomalies," says Martha Linn, 77, who bought the house in 1994 and restored it to its 1912 condition, stripping the place of all electricity and plumbing and turning it into a tourist attraction. "I have notebooks from just the last two years full of what overnight experiences people have had. Very few of them go away without experiencing something."

Those experiences cost guests $428 a night—apparently, people will pay good money to sleep in the presence of potentially malevolent spirits. Due to the overwhelming number of paranormal experiences reported in the house, it has become one of the most regularly visited sites for ghost hunters, who will often bring Ouija boards, ​EVP recorders (the Geiger counters of the paranormal investigator world), or the original axe from the murders into the house in attempts to stir up whatever dark forces lie within its cursed walls. 

Earlier this month, Robert Steven Laursen Jr., 37, of Rhinelander, Wisconsin, was one such visitor. He arrived with a group of friends for a "recreational paranormal investigation," according to Montgomery County Sheriff Joe Sampson. "From my understanding he was alone in the northwest bedroom, and the rest of the party was outside, and he called for help on their mobile, two-way radios," Sampson told me. His companions found him stabbed in the chest—an apparently self-inflicted wound—called 9-1-1, and Laursen was brought to a nearby hospital before being helicoptered to Creighton University Medical Center in Omaha.

According to a Montgomery County police report, the incident happened around 12:45 AM, which is said to be the approximate time that the 1912 murders of Josiah and Sarah Moore, along with their four children and two visiting girls, took place.

"We call the Moore murders 'America's greatest unsolved mystery,'" says Kelly Rundle, the documentarian behind Villisca: Living with a Mystery. "The story reads like fiction, and the more you know about it, the weirder it becomes. It's a story that needs no embellishment."

On the night of June 9, 1912, Josiah Moore and his wife, three sons and daughter attended an evening church service before returning home, accompanied by two friends of his daughters who were invited to spend the night at the house. Around 7 AM the following morning, a neighbor noticed the house was unusually quiet, and when she found the doors locked and all of the windows covered, she called Moore's brother, who unlocked the house and found his relatives bloodied and lifeless in their beds.

Local officials quickly lost control of the crime scene, where an estimated 100 people arrived to gawk at the mutilated bodies. Fingerprinting had yet to become an widely established tool of criminal investigation in the US, and the massive disturbance to the house from onlookers prevented detectives from collecting sufficient evidence for a conclusive investigation. Gouge marks across bedroom ceilings from the upswing of the axe revealed something about the killer's height (exonerating one particularly short suspect), but these marks were in the center of the room, not above the victim's beds, and were thought to be the killer whirlwinding the axe in a one-handed frenzy of excitement.

The bodies of Lena and Ina Stillinger were discovered in the downstairs bedroom. At the base of 12-year-old Lena's bed, a kerosene lamp was found, possibly used to project light onto her body, which was lying in a sexual pose with her underwear missing, blood smeared across her legs, and defensive wounds across her arms. Investigators believe she was the victim of sexual abuse, and also the only member of the house who attempted to fight off her attacker. 

With today's technology and investigative techniques, the original murders might've been solved quite easily. While a wide array of suspicions and finger-pointing at the time divided the town into feverish hysteria, historians today identify three different possibilities for the killers: A serial killer with ties to other, similar murders, a traveling preacher with a history of sexual misconduct, and a state senator who was thought to have hired a coke-addled hitman to kill Moore. But no one was ever convicted.

A number of books and documentaries have chronicled the murders and subsequent paranormal investigations of the Moore house. They cite various individuals who claim to have seen a man with an axe roaming the hallways, or heard the desperate cries of children in their bedrooms, or become trapped inside the bedroom closet where Lena Stillinger is thought to have hid from her attacker.

But when Rundle began filming his documentary in the 1990s, there had been little talk of the house being haunted. He says that in his years of filming inside the house, he never experienced or saw anything out of the ordinary, nor did any of the previous occupants he spoke with who had lived in the house for years before it became a tourist attraction.

"The first paranormal investigators visited the house in 1999; they declared the house was haunted, and that they would identify who the killer was," he tells me. Before this, those who visited were interested in the place merely as a well-preserved document of the past (the house is on the National Registry of Historic Places). "It's unfortunate that more people aren't interested in the true story of the house, because like any historical story there's something to be learned," Rundle says. "If people are just going in there to get scared at something they thought they heard or saw, I don't know what they learn from that."

Sheriff Sampson has been on the county police force since 1992, and sheriff for the last six years. He says that he's never been called out to the house for any emergencies in the past, and refers to Villisca as just "your basic, small-town, Iowa farming community."

The town has drawn a lot of attention since the Laursen episode, however, and both Sampson and Linn, the caretaker, say they have been inundated with media inquiries, which they hope will end soon.

"This particularly incident has been very upsetting," Linn says. "It's publicity, but it's not exactly the kind of publicity you desire to have. I don't want people thinking that when they come to the Villisca Axe Murder House something's going to happen that's going to make them do something like that. I want them to have a good experience from the house, learn about the history, and if something [paranormal] comes about, then that's one-up for them I guess."

Linn and Sampson say that Laursen has recovered from his injuries, but will not comment any further out of respect for the family.

"There is a whole body of folklore surrounding the Moore murders," Rundle, the documentarian, says. "And that in itself is fascinating, so long as you keep in mind that it's folklore, not fact. So I just regard the paranormal sightings as a contemporary version of that—it's an extension of the folklore that began on the day of the murders. Folklore can tell you more about people how people see themselves and how they see the world than it does the facts surrounding the case."

Follow Josiah M. Hesse on ​Twitter.

Meet the Girl Who "Puked The Button" at an Above and Beyond Show


Blake Anderson? More like #Based Anderson

That Time Bill Cosby Got Rape-y with Janice Dickinson, Allegedly

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Photo by Michael N. Todaro/WireImage

Before her (reality) star-making turn as a judge on America's Next Top Model, Janice Dickinson wrote a sharp-witted and engaging memoir, No Lifeguard on Duty: The Accidental Life of the World's First Supermodel, about her heady days as an in-demand model in the late 70s and early 80s, when she partied hard and rubbed elbows—and other body parts—with celebrities.

The book was published by HarperCollins in 2002—two years before Bill Cosby was accused of drugging and raping former Temple University employee Andrea Constand. (When 13 additional women agreed to come forward and testify that Cosby had sexually assaulted them, too, the comedian ​settled with Constand out of court for an undisclosed amount in 2006.) Perhaps that's why a couple of chapters in Dickinson's book—which detail her own uncomfortable experiences with a sexually-aggressive Bill Cosby—initially went under the radar.

It starts with Cosby reaching out to the young model through her modeling agency sometime in 1981 or 1982, under the auspice that he had some ideas for television and had been following her career. This is similar to how Cosby allegedly contacted at least ​two other women, both models, who have accused him of sexual assault. The comedian invited Dickinson to meet him for lunch at the Sherry-Netherland Hotel on Fifth Avenue, where he was staying. For some unexplained reason, Telly Savalas was also there. ("He just grinned and looked at me with those big eyes, like he wanted to ravage and murder me at the same time," Dickinson wrote.)

Cosby asked Dickinson—who would've been in her mid-20s at the time—about her acting experience and whether or not she could sing. He poised himself as being her mentor.

Both men grinned through the entire lunch. Grinned and stared and drooled. At one point I thought Savalas might ask his buddy Bill to hold me down while he had a go at me, right there on the table. But they were both unfailingly polite. And before I left Cosby asked me to do two things for him. First he wanted me to read An Actor Prepares, by Stanislavski. Next, and far more important, he wondered if I would be good enough to give him my home number [...]

I spent the following day devouring An Actor Prepares, and beginning, unfortunately, to take myself oh-so-seriously. So I was plenty prepared by the time Cosby called [...] Again he told me how beautiful I was, how powerfully I had affected him, and how much he wanted to see me again.

Cosby set Dickinson up with a musical director he knew to see if the model could sing. She couldn't. But that apparently didn't matter.

Just then Cosby arrived, smoking a big cigar. He marched over and took my hand and literally bowed and kissed it. My Black Prince!

"So," he asked Stubie, "how was she?"

"Great," Stubie said. The silly smile remained in place.

At that moment I had a small epiphany: This is why there's so much shit on TV and in the movies! Because people always lie to people in power. No one has the courage to tell them the truth!

"I'm glad to hear that," Cosby said. He stuck that big cigar in his mouth and licked it. I tried not to read too much into that cigar.

Maybe it's true that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Cosby turned to look at Stubie and said with great gravity: "Because I'm thinking about having her open for me in Vegas."

An assistant poked his head inside. "Mr. Cosby," he said. "Your wife is on the line." Cosby looked at the assistant as if he wanted to kill him. This was no time to be bothered with the fact that he was married. He turned and took both my hands in his, smiled sweetly, said he'd call me later. Then went off to deal with his wife.

Dickinson continued to work with the musical director until she was booked for a debut performance of her pop single at Studio 54 in early 1982. It was a disastrous event. She got wasted and forgot the words. After an intervention from her friends and family she entered rehab a few days later. Cosby sent her roses and a card while she was there.

When Dickinson left treatment, her agent called her to let her know that Bill Cosby was looking for her and had left a number in Lake Tahoe saying it was "really, really important" that she call him. So she did.

"Well, get your ass to Tahoe," he said. "You can connect through L.A."

"Why? What's in Tahoe?"

"I'm doing a show here. I want you to open for me."

I thought he must be kidding. I'd bombed at Studio 54. "I can't sing," I said.

"You're wrong," he said. "Who hits a home run their first time out? Almost nobody."

Dickinson hopped on a flight to Lake Tahoe as instructed. She immediately relapsed and began drinking on the plane. By the time she arrived at the hotel she was drunk.

Cosby answered the door in nothing but a white towel. He was fresh from the shower, too; his black skin was glistening. He hugged me, a little too enthusiastically; told me how much he'd missed me, and how nice it was to see me. I believed him. Liquor does that to a girl.

"God, you're beautiful." 

He kissed me, full on the lips, then went off to dress and we went downstairs, to dinner, where Cosby spent the next two hours talking about himself. It was An Evening with Bill Cosby. A Tribute to Bill Cosby. 

And suddenly I remembered something Andy Warhol once told me. It was his definition of an actor. He said, "An actor is a person whose eyes glaze over when the conversation is no longer about them." 

And I thought, Well, then, Bill Cosby is an actor's actor. 

After dinner he asked me back to his room, and I went. But I stopped myself at the door. "I'm exhausted," I said, begging off. His eyebrows went a little funny.

"Exhausted?" he asked, and it was clear he was trying hard to keep his temper in check. "After all I've done for you, that's what I get? I'm exhausted." 

"Well, gee, Bill," I stammered. "If I had known it was going to be like this—"
He waved both hands in front of my face, silencing me. Then he gave me the dirtiest, meanest look in the world, stepped into his suite, and slammed the door in my face.

Perhaps Cosby figured that a young model with a very obvious substance abuse issue, fresh out of rehab, would be more malleable. But maybe Dickinson was already too established as a celebrity in her own right for Cosby to risk pushing the boundary beyond manipulation into physical aggression.

In 2006, while promoting her third book, Check Please! Dating, Mating and Extricating, Dickinson stuck to her story when she ​told Howard Stern that Cosby is "a bad guy" who preys on vulnerable women.

Quebec's Fight Against Austerity Could Be the Next Maple Spring

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​Police at an austerity protest in Montreal, via the author.

​​Quebec's austerity agenda may have roots in the drastic spending cuts during the recession of the mid-90s, but the current Liberal government is pushing it forward in an unprecedented and aggressive manner. Arguing that the state of the province's public finances—currently projected as a $3.1 billion deficit this fiscal year—calls for draconian reductions in public spending, Philippe Couillard's government is dismantling the remains of what is known as the "Quebec social-democratic model" while actively promoting the extractive industry's interests over those of its own population.

But with recent protests sometimes growing to over 50,000 people strong, the program is facing mounting opposition and might soon be up against a social movement as fierce as the 2012's so-called "Maple spring." Two years ago, amid-widespread allegations of Liberal corruption and an underperforming economy, massive student demonstrations against the 75 percent tuition increase, and the general civil society uprising against repressive Bill 78—which more or less banned protests across the province—cost former Liberal leader Jean Charest his seat and put the Liberals back in the opposition in September 2012.

But the demise of Liberal power was already foreshadowed by years of corruption scandals in the construction industry involving high-ranking municipal and provincial officials, illegal political funding by mafia bosses, and strong opposition to a Liberal push for shale gas exploration in Quebec.

However, after a 20-month minority Parti Québécois reign—where sovereignty was forgone by austerity with cutbacks to welfare, daycares and education—the Liberals came back into office on April 7, 2014, on vague promises to create 250,000 jobs and to reduce the taxpayers' fiscal burden.

Under their new leader Philippe Couillard—who had gone from Health Minister under Jean Charest to private sector health consultant in partnership with former McGill University Health Centre CEO, Arthur Porter (yes, the same guy accused in a $​22.5 million fraud conspiracy)—the Liberals' first move was to commission neoconservative economist Claude Montmarquette and tax expert Luc Godbout to report on the state of public finances.

Their conclusion? Quebec is $3 billion dollars ​in t​he hole.

The newly elected government then announced immed​iate cuts of $3.7 billion and an additional $3 billion for next year. In a drastic effort to reduce public spending and eliminate the deficit—the most brutal since the "zero deficit" campaign of the late 1990s, led by the PQ after the failed referendum of 1995—the government is slashing education, health, and social services budgets and has even ordered a recruitment ban in the public sector. A move that concerns both activists and economic academics alike.

"It's the base of the social security net," Serge Petitclerc from Collectif Québec sans pauvreté told VICE, criticizing the government's decision to cancel $162 million of support to community groups as part of what it calls a spending revision.

"We're faced with a sort of rhetorical extortion," said author and political science professor Alain Deneault. "The government is pretending that there is only one column: expenses." But the problem isn't with expenses, he argues, it's with revenues.

To address the revenue issue, Finance Minister Carlos Leitao—the Laurentian Bank Securities' former chief economist—put toget​her a​ commission on fiscal reform to examineQuebec's tax system and propose changes to make it more competitive.

According to Deneault, the proposed tax reforms mark an ideological shift in public finances: from a progressive rate income-tax based system to a public utility rates model, where individual user-payer contributions progressively replace collective wealth re-distribution mechanisms. These regressive tax policies translate into raising costs for the public—which mostly impact low-income people.

Indeed, the Liberal government recently confirmed an incre​ase in s​ubsidized daycare rates several times higher than the current inflation rate. Since April, domestic electricity rates have also increased by 4.3 percent, leading to record num​​bers of electricity cut offs this year.

Corporate Welfare

This doesn't keep the provincially-owned Hydro Quebec from offering discount rates for large business clie​nts. These choices show the government's double standards when it comes to spending reductions.

Additionally, Quebec is also now prepared to invest billions to develop the Plan Nord, which is basically creates a resource-rich open bar for the mining industry. During the recent 2014 Arctic Circle International Conference in Iceland, Couillard said his government would spend $15 to $20 billi​on over the next eight years in energy projects and construction of infrastructure to attract mining companies to Quebec.

After having approved Enbridge's Line 9b inversion project, the former PQ government invested $115 million in shale oil exploration in Anticosti. Last summer the Liberals gave TransCanada permits for seismic surveys and exploratory drillings in Cacouna—at the heart of the habitat of the endangered beluga—for an oil shipping port, a key part of the Energy East pipeline project. It was forced to suspend the permit after four environmental groupswon an injunction in October. Even though Quebec's attitude towards TransCanada has hardened in the past few weeks, the provincial government still actively​ pro​motes the project.

Crossbreeding resistance

This fall has seen a growing momentum of demonstrations and direct actions both to stop fossil fuel exploitation and transportation in Quebec and to oppose the austerity agenda.

[body_image width='670' height='447' path='images/content-images/2014/11/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/11/18/' filename='in-quebec-the-fight-against-austerity-and-the-resource-extraction-industry-is-heating-up-935-body-image-1416340401.jpg' id='4841']
​Protesters at an austerity march in Montreal this past October. Photo via the author.

On October 7, four activists forced the shut down of​ a refinery in Montreal East to protest against the Line 9 inversion. A few days later, on October 16, several hundreds people went out to a protest ​against TransCanada's oil shipping port in Cacouna. There was the estimated 50,000 people then took to the street of Montreal on October 31 in mass-demonstration again​st austerity called by Coalition contre la tarification et la privatisation des services publics. On November 9, thousands across Quebec protested against the end of unive​rsal daycare rates. More recently, students groups organized a day of action agains​t austerity on November 12 and a march against pipelines a​nd Plan Nord on Saturday, November 15.

As the protests intensify, bridges between the climate justice and the social justice movements are starting to emerge. "Each of these struggles has specific demands and needs, but they are all fighting against the same corporate-driven policies aimed at extracting profits for the rich from the austerity imposed violently on everyone else," reads the Together Against Austerity basis of unity s​tatement. "These efforts and struggles can find common cause. Let us clearly identify the source of this assault and confront it together."

The next national protest is scheduled for November 29, under the large coalition banner of Refusons l'austérité (Refuse austerity), and it might just be a preview of things to come. The anti-austerity organization Comité printe​mps 2015 acts as a hub for protests and is already calling for a wildcat strike. It's statement entitled "Bearing the fangs" calls for "effective struggles on collective and environmental rights" to take place all across Quebec.

From the sounds of it, spring might come early next year.


@mais​893

The Planet’s Most Hated Pick-up Artist Has Apologized

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Julien Blanc, the infamously outcasted pick-up "artist," who has been described by some as being the world's most hated man, appeared on CNN yesterday. Blanc went on TV ostensibly to apologize for an infamous video that shows him parading around Tokyo assaulting strange women, along with a series of other online posts made by Blanc that make light of domestic abuse and encourage a general aura of male shittiness.

Blanc appeared in studio with an interviewer by the name of Chris Cuomo, who grilled this greaseball extraordinaire about his behaviour. Blanc told Cuomo: " I'm not going to be happy to feel like I'm the most hated man in the world. I'm overwhelmed by the way people are responding." He also described the video that shows him grabbing the necks of strange women as a "horrible attempt at humour."

These statements demonstrate a blatant misunderstanding as to why people are upset that a man like Mr. Blanc is traveling the world to teach men how to meet women, while collecting $2,500 - $3,000 per student at his seminars. Also, his focus on being "the most hated man in the world" rather than the types of misogynist and dehumanizing messages he's been sending, illustrates a shallow and immature grasp of the issue at hand.

Also, Blanc's attempt to reduce all of his behaviour to a "stupid attempt at humour" is quite clearly dishonest. Blanc and his fellow "seduction coaches" appear to be very earnest and brazen in their speeches and seminars about how to seduce women. The video where Blanc is shown parading around Tokyo is preceded by footage of Blanc in a seminar room, with an audience of pupils, explaining his behaviour as if it revealed some hidden truths. His assertion that being a white male in Tokyo somehow means you can go around and grab strange women on the street is much more than a bad stand-up routine. It's a dangerous pick-up artist "lesson."

The sheer amount of content that Blanc and the other pick-up artists who work under the company Real Social Dynamics have published to the internet is astounding. And, really, the Tokyo video just scratches the surface. Not mentioned in the CNN interview is a video featuring his business partner Owen Cook, which shows Co​ok laughing while he describes forcing sex on an unwilling ​woman that he was dating.

Take the video embedded above, for example, which shows Julien Blanc advising his audience not to be a "permission boy" and to put on their "big boy pants" by avoiding the supposed trap of "seeking permission" when it comes to approaching a strange woman. While he seems to be teaching men that they need to be assertive in social situations, which would be fine advice normally, his laser-focus on eradicating "permission" is not a wise or helpful way to approach this particular lesson.

In the video, Blanc appears to equate obtaining permission from a woman in a social situation to possessing male weakness, instead he suggest men "cut through the bullshit" and use assertive lines like, "Hey get the fuck over here young lady, get your little ass over here." He refers to men who "seek permission" as rodents. And the video, for some reason, ends with two strange women fighting each other in the streets of Austin.

This is just one of many RSD videos that profiles an aggressively dangerous approach to meeting women. While it's not as intense as Cook's admission to forcing sex on a woman who didn't want it, or Blanc's infamous Japan video, it sheds light on the kind of mindset the RSD teachings stem from. It's clear that these two individuals are responsible for a wealth of material through the course of their respective "careers" that ranges from eyebrow-raising, to offensive, to downright incriminating.

While the shine of the media spotlight seems to be scaring Blanc and Cook away for now (neither of them seem to respond to any media requests, save for Blanc's unconvincing CNN appearance), the larger issue of sexual assault and ignoring consent being packaged as some kind of seduction strategy, is abhorrent and needs to be addressed. For men who approach courses like Blanc and Cook's honestly—as a way to gain confidence and approach strangers—hopefully the bullshit tactics of their curriculum are completely evident. Because the bottom line is that there's nothing about ignoring consent, forcing sex on women, or physically groping strangers in public that makes a man respectable, let alone dateable. 

​​@patrickmcguire

Meet the Nieratkos: Ed Templeton On His New Book and Life After Skateboarding

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Fuck Laws Kid, Portland

All photos courtesy of Ed Templeton

​Ed Templeton drew the graphic for his first pro model skateboard in 1990. Since then, he has been a regular tour de force in both the skateboard industry and the art world. While almost everyone who rides a skateboard considers themselves an "artist," very few have been able to make a successful leap into the fine art world. Templeton is one of those few. His work has been shown in some of the most respected museums around the globe. From his paintings to his board graphics, to his photography, to his skills as a skateboarder: he is, in my opinion, the best and most multifaceted artist that skateboarding has ever produced.

His latest photo book, ​Wayward Cog​nitions, is a collection of riveting images taken during his travels abroad and stateside. Shot mostly using a Leica M6 with a 50mm lens on film, printed in his home darkroom, and then scanned and laid out by the artist, this book is 100% Templeton's brainchild. Known as the Eternal Voyeur, it's not uncommon to find Ed lurking around his local suburban sprawl, Huntington Beach Pier, or the backstreets of some European town, snapping away whatever passes before his lens. This book shares those captured moments.

I had the opportunity to catch up with Ed to discuss photography, his company Toy Machine, and the legend's retirement from skateboarding.

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​Girl On Swing

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Deanna 


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​Man Walks, Sign Flare, Zurich

VICE: Thematically, Wayward Cognitions is a departure from your previous photo books. Can you talk about the process of picking the images for this book?
Ed Templeton: I just wanted the freedom of not having a specific theme for once. Most of my books are very specific, to the point where the title of the book pretty much explains the subject matter. Those books have come from having a big archive to mess with. I just have fun searching for words and coming up with groupings. Teenage Kissers was born that way. I searched the word "kiss" in my archive and had so many photos of people kissing that I was able to narrow it down to "teenagers kissing"—although technically not all of the people in the book are teenagers. 

For this book, I had a title in my head before I even started thinking about what would be in the book. I was thinking about how my style of photography produces a lot of stray thoughts. All the photos that I shoot that are not shot for any reason or theme—which is most of them—are just stray dogs with no place to go. I just walk around shooting people, and most of it does not fall into the category of something that I will use for a future project. So that was the spawn of the title, Wayward Cognitions, which is a more poetic way of saying stray thoughts.

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​Woman and Monkey, Santa Monica[body_image width='728' height='1080' path='images/content-images/2014/11/18/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2014/11/18/' filename='ed-templeton-on-his-new-book-and-life-after-skateboarding-333-body-image-1416346470.jpg' id='4876']
​Puddle Woman, London

The bulk of your book seems to be strangers passing in front of your lens, many of whom don't appear to realize you are taking their photo. Have you had people freak out on you?
I don't use a flash for the most part—only natural light. Also, I have developed a few techniques that make my shooting fluid and essentially unnoticed for the most part. Or even if you did see me, you would have some doubt over whether I was shooting you or something else. There's some acting involved sometimes, other times Deanna [Templeton's wife] helps me by throwing a screen, or talking to me really loudly so we look like we couldn't possibly have been shooting someone else.

​I also feel hyper aware of all the people around me. I'm not only thinking about the person I'm shooting but about the people possibly seeing me shoot them, including their partners. You can't go in with blinders on. That homeless guy passed out might have some buddies across the street watching him, or that girl doing cartwheels in a bikini might have a meathead boyfriend waiting to stomp some ass, so you have to be aware of the whole scene you are a part of. I pick and choose my battles for sure. I have passed on photos to avoid a likely confrontation. It's not worth it, there are other photos down the block. The times where I have just said screw it and went in shooting regardless of my surroundings have mostly turned out OK though. Nobody has freaked out on me.

My in-laws know I write about naughty topics, but we don't ever discuss that side of my work. I've always wondered if it's the same for you. You put images of your lovely wife, Deanna, in various states of undress and even occasionally in the throes of a sexual act. What does her family think about that?
It's strange. I kept everything from my grandparents, including ​the b​ook Deformer, which is essentially about them and how they were instrumental in shaping me as a human. They would have really enjoyed seeing me published and have some degree of success at what I'm doing, but the nudity in there would be beyond their comprehension. I can't picture my grandfather being OK with photos of my naked wife with my penis in her hand no matter what the explanation. He has since died. My mother and grandmother are still alive, and they don't see any of my books or shows.

​I have not seen my dad since I was eight years old—I have no idea if he knows anything about my artwork and I don't care. My Aunt Margie and Uncle Bob are both super hip and have seen my books. Uncle Bob even came out to my last photo show in LA. But they are the only non-Christians in the family. The rest are certified born-agains. Deanna's brother and his wife would probably be pretty tripped out. I suspect they have googled me and seen some stuff, but they have never brought it up. My niece is 13 and she's on Instagram now, but she's not allowed to follow me. One time she was going to do a report about me for school, but then suddenly she said she couldn't, and that's when I think they Googled me.

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​Deanna Leg Lift, hotel in Rome

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​Boy Watches Graffiti, Barcelona

I believe you to be one of the best, if not the best, talent scouts in skateboarding's history. Since the inception of Toy Machine you've always had the best guys riding for you. What's your secret? What do you look for in your riders?
It's sort of a gut feeling. I don't hang out in the streets with the guys and I'm not a hands-on team manager, so I need a rider who doesn't need to be babysat, who is out there doing shit on his own. You have to be able to blend well with the team, too. So talent is only part of it. I'm not going to sponsor the best skater ever if they are an asshole to be around. I would rather have the second best guy who's fun to be in a van with, and then use his own personality to promote him. I like to coax out the character of each rider and not have them be faceless rippers who nobody really cares about. You have to put yourself out there, that's what people connect with. I honestly don't know how I do it, there's no formula. Luck is part of it. Being open to weird shit is part of it. I want the freaks. I think good skaters seek Toy Machine out actually. We are not the big bucks type of company, so if you are riding for us it's because you want to.

In your opinion, what was the gnarliest, most heavy-hitting team in Toy's history?
At one point we had Jamie Thomas, Chad Muska, and Brian Anderson on the team—all dudes who would be megastars at different points in their careers. So there's a strong case for the Welcome to Hell era, but to tell the truth right now is the best team I've ever had. Leo Romero, Collin Provost, Daniel Lutheran, and Jeremey Leabres? And that's only half of the guys. My main job in the near future is laying this team down on tape, er, pixels.

Have there been any guys you can recall that got away? That you wanted on the team but it didn't happen or work out?
I passed on Chris Cole. Kerry Getz brought me his sponsor-me tape—I still have it somewhere. Bam Margera left the team right before he blew up into mega-stardom. Muska left before he became a mega-star, too. I was after Spanky before he went to Baker. Alex Olson was on flow but he went for Girl. There's more... I can't remember all of them! All of them probably worked out for the best. I think kicking Muska off was a tough one, and I like Alex, so it would have been cool to have him on. But really things work out how they're supposed to.

You mentioned Alex Olsen. Long before getting on Girl, Alex went on a Toy Machine tour and was in the running to make the team. Why didn't that work out?
I'm not even 100% sure. I think for a few reasons. He was essentially couch-surfing from a really young age, and I think me being based in HB as opposed to LA played a factor. Also, I cared maybe too much about him and wanted him to get back in school so he could think about life after skating as well. But that may have been too overbearing for him. Like I said, things work out and he is doing all sorts of stuff outside of skating and will be fine without any help from me. There was no bad blood or anything. When he chose Girl I was sad but totally stoked that he was making moves and starting to go for it. Up until then he didn't even seem sure if pro skating was what he wanted to do, having grown up in it with his dad [Steve Olsen] and everything. I was always saying, "You're a natural! You have to try and make it!"

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​Boy Walking and Smoking in White Suit, Antwerp
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​Handstand, Ohio

In the final part of your ​Epicly Later'd ep​isode, Deanna gets very emotional about the thought of you further injuring yourself skateboarding. You had a severe leg break a few years back. How does it feel now? Are you able to skate again?
I skate here and there, but for the most part I have retired. I have other things in my life and I don't need to skateboard for money. I feel very lucky that I don't have that pressure to come back and be a pro skater at my age. I started Toy Machine in 1993 for this very moment. Now that I'm useless as a pro skater, I can still be involved with the thing I love and be able to be around skateboarding. 

​The leg is as good as it can be. I still feel it when I take a little impact. I'm sorta scared to try anything that will put big stress on it because there are two plates in there and 21 screws, and they take away the natural flexibility of bones, which makes it more likely that the leg will break again right above the plates. I think about skating all the time. I need to make it part of my routine. My routine now is just to get up and work all day and all night.

What's next for you and Toy Machine?
We want to finally make another full length Toy video. Our last three have been incomplete because riders were working on other videos. We have been waiting for Emerica videos, Vans videos, etc. Now it's time to start making an official video that will be on the level of Welcome to Hell and Good and Evil.

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​Keegan Points, Grand Canyon

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​Balloon Girl

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​​Follow Templeton on ​Inst​agram and pre-order Wayard Cognitions from ​Um Yeah Arts.

More stupid can be found at ​Chrisnieratko.com or on ​Twitter.

Comics: Flowertown, USA: Henry Hotchkiss Never Pays for It

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Is Congress Finally Going to Reform the NSA?

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The Senate is expected to hold a vote Tuesday evening on the USA Freedom Act, a bill that would end the National Security Agency's bulk collection of U.S. citizens' telephone metadata. The bill, introduced by Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Patrick Leahy, would also strengthen transparency and oversight of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance (FISA) Court and ban the NSA from undermining common encryption standards, among other provisions.

It has taken more than a year since Edward Snowden first leaked evidence of the NSA's massive surveillance apparatus for legislators to craft a reform bill that was palatable to both privacy advocates and the Obama administration, and their efforts will now face a crucial test that will decide the future of major intelligence reform in the US.

The USA Freedom Act would scrap the NSA's massive database of domestic phone records and so-called "back door" access to Americans' communications. That information would remain with telecommunications companies, which would no longer be barred from reporting estimates of the number of FISA orders they receive and users affected. The bill would also make redacted FISA Court records public and allow an independent privacy advocate to argue before the FISA Court. However, the NSA and FBI will still be able to obtain domestic phone records through court orders, and the international communications would still be subject to warrantless surveillance under Section 702 and Executive Order 12333.

In a statement released late Monday, the White House said the administration "strongly supports" passage of the bill because it "strengthens the FISA's privacy and civil liberties protections, while preserving essential authorities that our intelligence and law enforcement professionals need."

Despite some reservations, tech companies and advocacy groups such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation have also lined up in support of the bill. A coalition of tech companies—including Facebook, Google, Apple, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Twitter, AOL, Dropbox, Evernote, and Yahoo!—released a letter Monday urging the Senate to pass the legislation.The legislation even spurred a rare joint op-ed from the ACLU and National Rifle Association.

"While there is much the Senate shouldn't or needn't do during the 'lame-duck' session, the USA Freedom Act is badly needed legislation that has bipartisan support and will protect the rights of all Americans," the NRA's Chris Cox and the ACLU's Laura Murphy wrote in the Washington Times. "The NRA and the ACLU, along with many members of Congress from both parties, support these reforms and they should be enacted, without weakening amendments, by the Senate and sent to the White House as soon as possible."

The Senate Judiciary Committee has been counting votes, and a committee aide told VICE that Tuesday's vote will likely be close. The bill needs a fair amount of Republican crossover votes to pass, and only four GOP Senators—Ted Cruz of Texas, Dean Heller of Nevada, Mike Lee of Utah, and Lisa Murkowski of Alaska—signed on to cosponsor the legislation.

"One of the most troubling things we have seen in recent years is an expansion of federal government authority into surveilling American citizens," Cruz said during a speech in Austin last week. "I am proud to be a co-sponsor of the USA Freedom Act."

But the bill still has some strong opposition within the GOP. In a speech from the Senate floor Tuesday morning, Republican Leader Mitch McConnell said he was "strongly opposed" to the legislation. "This is the worst possible time to be tying our hands behind our backs," McConnell said.

His concerns echo those of hawkish Bush-era officials. In a Wall Street Journal op-ed Tuesday, former CIA Director Michael Hayden and former Attorney General Michael Mukasey said the bill would institute a "cumbersome and untried process" into the FISA Court. Congressional intelligence committees, the FISA Court, "and everyone else at the NSA live in constant dread of failing to detect a terrorist attack," the two former Bush officials, who helped build the post-9/11 surveillance apparatus. "Nonetheless, the sponsors of the USA Freedom Act prefer the counsel of hypothetical fears to the logic of concrete realities."

There are also detractors on the opposite side. Significantly, Sen. Rand Paul, one of the most libertarian members of the Republican caucus and a vocal critic of the NSA's spying tactics, has said he will oppose the bill because he believes it's too weak, and because it includes an extension of the PATRIOT Act. And Marcy Wheeler, a prominent independent journalist covering national security, wrote that she opposes the bill because its limits on the NSA are overstated, its key provisions are unclear and its transparency requirements "are bullshit."

Tuesday's vote is not on whether to pass the bill, but rather a procedural vote to decide whether or not to proceed with debate on it. If the bill advances, the next challenge for supporters will be the amendment process.

Politico reported Monday that if the Senate advances the legislation, Majority Leader Harry Reid will not use a procedural move to block consideration of amendments to the legislation. This will open an opportunity for legislators to water down the bill or, as is likely in the case of Paul, beef it up.

The House passed an NSA reform bill in May, but technology groups pulled their support for it after privacy protections in the bill were watered down at the last minute.


Wearing TACKMA's Streetwear Is Like Giving the Finger to All of Your Haters

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In January 2012, back when LeBron James was fighting to get his first championship ring with the Miami Heat and dealing with intense media scrutiny, he was spotted in the locker room wearing a pair of sneakers customized with the acronym TACKMA stitched across the b​ack. Sportswriters and social media users tried to figure out the six-letter mystery before finally figuring out that it stood for "They All Can Kiss My Ass."

At that moment, TACKMA was just an idea of Jeffrey Schottenstein's, born out of his own frustration with the people around him who doubted his aptitude for greatnessHis crude mantra resonated so much with James that he had Schottenstein toss the letters on the back of a pair of NikeiD sneakers to send a message to all of his haters. TACKMA soon evolved into a much larger project that attracted a following of others who wanted the world's naysayers to shut up. Schottenstein, who has a background in business, decided to transform the acronym into a full-fledged clothing line, and called on Ed Givens, a creative Cleveland native he'd met years earlier at an Ohio State football game, to help make his vision a reality.

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Later he hired Danny Victor to handle business, Allan Francisco to design clothes, and eventually Mike Camargo to do sales and marketing. TAC​KMA officially launched in November 2013 as a brand focused on creating high-quality menswear pieces that benefit from the team's attention to detail—their varsity jackets feature lush lambskin sleeves and some of their woven shirts boast detachable collars. Their stuff is relatively affordable, too: The brand's cheapest items are suede-brim hats at around $65, and its most expensive offerings are outerwear pieces like suit-lined suede bombers, which cost about $600. The company's slogan is "Seek No Approval" (basically a cleaned-up version of what their acronym stands for) and its garments often feature the brand's black sheep logo. Since it's inception, Lebron has been spotted several times sporting TACKMA, in addition to athletes like Kevin Durant and musicians like Fabolous and Drake.

Today the brand drops its fourth collection, "Ruling Forces," which is loosely inspired by Top Gun and incorporates themes of aeronautics and aviationThe pieces include double-sided zip hoodies, leather-shouldered button-ups, and woven chinos. I met with the guys, minus Givens, at their showroom near Midtown in Manhattan to talk about Cleveland, their upcoming holiday collection, and how sometimes you just want to tell people to fuck off.

Allan Francisco, Danny Victor, Jeffrey Schottenstein, and Mike Camargo

VICE: They All Can Kiss My Ass is an interesting concept for a brand. How did that become the jumping-off point?
Danny: Jeff came up with the acronym. He was just feeling a kind of way. Everyone gets into a funk. Sometimes you can just wake up in the morning and be like, Fuck everything.

Jeff: It wasn't a funk. I would say it was more of a frustration. I was working on another brand, but this one acronym always resonated with me. I had it trademarked.

Why is the idea of TACKMA so important to you guys?
Mike: How we use that acronym when approaching the brand is, we know that there are a lot of people who say because you do this, you can't succeed at that. You can't make a brand that is niche and cool, because you do this other type of business. The way we push that now, aside from the seed that was planted with how [Jeff] was feeling, is TACKMA is a representation of what people think we can't do.

Jeff: The acronym applies to everyone. There is a certain basketball individual who was feeling that emotion at the same time. He wanted to NikeiD some shoes and I did it for him. He was in it from day one. I am sure when people were burning his jerseys, he felt that acronym. So whether you are black, white, orange—you can feel that emotion. It applies to a lot of people.

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What role has Cleveland played in supporting the brand?
Mike: I have no ties to Cleveland, but it already feels like I have something there. I think its dope because I am from Brooklyn and you know how proud Brooklyn people are. So it is cool to be able to help somewhere else have that cultural relevance. To be like, Yo, that shit Chris Paul is wearing, that started in Ohio. I think that is where the flag of TACKMA should wave.

Danny: In between Ed and Jeff, that's where it started. It is a brand that was conceived in Ohio, designed in New York, and sold everywhere.

What is the concept behind your collections?
Allan: The way I design is the way I would want my closet to look. I want pieces that are going to stand the test of time. A lot of places go with the trend, but I am trying to stay away from that. I have always been into Americana.

Danny: We are still growing and figuring out exactly where we want this to land. Some of the pieces that people really like are our outerwear and our hats.

What's the goal of the brand moving forward?
Mike: TACKMA is in such a niche area. We are creating a lane now that a lot of brands aren't, with fashion-forward and high quality pieces that are at a price most brands aspire to, but they aren't hitting the mark. We want kids to know you can wear fashionable shit without going to Zara. You can create your own look and you can have your own voice. 

Buy some TACKMA gear right now at ​their website

Follow Erica Euse on ​Twitter.

All the Reasons Why Uber Is the Worst

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Travis Kalanick is the guy behind Uber, a company that's spawned into an almost-$20-billion empire since its launch in 2009. He's also kind of a tool. That was immediately obvious to anyone who read his March 2014 GQ profile, in which he used "hashtag winning" as the substitute for a sentence and implied to a reporter that he was getting laid so much that the company should be called "Boo-ber."

But Uber's executives are truly apart from the rest of the alpha-male, mega-rich computer nerds. They're in a whole other echelon of dickdom, a fact that was confirmed by a BuzzFeed report Monday night that quoted Uber Senior Vice President Emil Michael suggesting the company dig up dirt on journalists who've been critical of the company. The idea was to give us muckraking smearmongers a taste of our own medicine.

Although Uber's proponents tout the company as an essentially democratic enterprise that provides entrepreneurial opportunity for drivers and eliminates the cumbersome regulatory red tape of the taxi industry, Michael doesn't really seem to value the idea of a democratic free press.

But although Michael's remarks are making headlines around the world right now, this is far from the first time that Uber's questionable business practices have been called into practice this year. Let's look back.

They're Trying to Take 50,000 Vets for a Ride

In September, the company launched UberMILITARY, which aims to hire 50,000 veterans, which amounts to roughly one-quarter of all the unemployed vets from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. While the goal may seem laudable enough, the "jobs" Uber is offering aren't quite the opportunity the company has promised. As one recruit told The Verge,"Uber promises a good job, but in reality it's a very precarious way to make a living. I'm looking for a new job, and there's no way I would recommend this life to other vets."

If anything, UberMILITARY seems more like a patriotism-soaked PR move at the expense of a vulnerable and needy population. In fact, Kalanick has said that he can't wait for the moment when he can get rid of "the other dude in the car" (as in, the driver) and replace them with robots. Which should give you a sense of how much the company values its new veteran hires.

And while the company claims each of its drivers is a small business owner, it reserves the right to change their cuts and to terminate people for seemingly arbitrary infractions. And they famously won't release the medium income of these "business owners." Therefore, some people report making as little as $12 an hour all while being terrified of losing their livelihood over a bad passenger rating. Thanks for your service, and welcome back to America.

When They Compared Their Females Drivers to Hookers

In October, Uber launched an app that promised to pair male customers with sexy female drivers. "Who said women don't know how to drive?" asked ads for the promotion, which was launched by the company's office in Lyon, France. The fantasy rides had a 20-minute time limit, for reasons that are unclear.

Thanks to a media backlash, the creepy promo never actually rolled out. "They didn't anticipate the reaction of Uber US," said Pierre Garonnaire, co-founder of Avions de Chasse, the escort service that co-sponsored the idea."In the US, you are more Puritan. For me and most of the people of France, it was a good [idea]. It was fun."

That point is up for debate, but the promo didn't do much to quell Uber's reputation for not giving much of a fuck about the safety of women in its cars. On the flip side of the equation, female customers are still frequently complaining that male drivers are harassing them and somehow managing to learn their identities.

Hiding Cut-Throat Tactics Behind 'Libertarian' Ideals

Among the technorati, Uber has gained accolades for its "disruptive" technology, and its relentless quest to wage an insurgency against the politicians and taxi industry regulators who stand in its way. But it has also used those ideas as cover for the sneaky-as-fuck tactics Uber employs to shut down its competition. Like, for instance, giving "brand ambassadors" burner phones to order and then cancel rides from its rival, Lyft. That's not exactly letting the best guy win or letting the bad performers get naturally weeded out by a free market.

There's also the matter of Uber putting career drivers out of business. In Miami and other places where ride-sharing services are illegal, members of taxi unions are trying in vain to preserve their livelihoods, for which they fronted lots of money to pay for costly medallions. In London, black cab drivers spend years studying for what some people consider the most difficult test in the world, and they're now facing possible extinction from unqualified newcomers.

And Now They're Attacking Critical Journalists

Unsurprisingly, Uber's faced a ton of criticism from the media. One of the most vocal critics has been Sarah Lacy, who edits the website PandoDaily. In a widely shared article that came out in October, Lacy wrote that she was deleting the Uber app because it promoted "asshole culture." In Michael's dinner party speech, he reportedly targeted Lacy in particular, floating the idea of hiring investigators to uncover details of her personal life. He even went so far as to say that if any woman reading Lacy's column decided to take a regular taxi instead of using Uber, and was subsequently sexually assaulted, it would be Lacy's fault.

After the PR nightmare, Kalanick tried to distance himself, and the company at large, from Michael's remarks. Just past 2 pm on Tuesday, he issued an apology. "Emil's comments at the recent dinner party are terrible and don't represent the company," he wrote in a 10-part response on Twitter. "I will do everything in my power to towards the goal of earning back [people's] trust."

​The Human Billboards of New York City

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Photo via Flickr user ​David Tan

For the past two years, Muhammad has stood on a corner in New York City's Times Square, holding a sign. His job is simple: He's trying to get as many people as possible to go to a nearby Irish pub they've never heard of. This means he's on his feet for eight to ten hours a day, five days a week.

This past winter was one of the worst in recent memory. Muhammad, whose name was changed for this article, remembers seeing the temperature broadcasted on a skyscraper's screen above him—0 degrees—for three days straight. Amid polar vortices, Muhammad would order a hot tea from the pub ("Some people need alcohol to stay warm, but I don't," he said); he tried heat warmers for his hands once, but gave those up fast ("I think they cause cancer"). If his feet started to ache, he took Tylenol and lined his shoes with plastic as a kind of makeshift Dr. Scholl's ("It helps with the pain").

On good days, business is good at the bar so he'll be able to work inside cleaning the bathroom and the floors. If not, he has a micro-marketing game plan to fall back on: hand out menus on 47th Street to the morning crowd, and then finish the day out a few blocks down, sign in hand. Once the sign gets dirty, he has a nicer backup sign for the pub that he bought himself. (He proudly shows me the receipt as proof.)

Muhammad doesn't tell me his hourly wage, but he says the more customers, the better his compensation. And that's what's most important to him: sending as much as money as he possibly can back to his family in the West African country of Guinea.

Muhammad is just one of the many human billboards standing on the streets of New York City with fliers, menus, and business cards serving as their advertising arsenal. Most of these people are immigrants deployed by businesses to the busiest areas of the city to snatch up the tourist trade, New York residents being generally skilled in the art of ignoring these people. .

They survive by directing our eyes to nearby chain restaurants or bars, and sometimes their livelihoods depend on whether we pay attention.

"Much like immigrant workers who don Mickey Mouse and other cartoon character outfits in Times Square to make a living wage, the work of 'human billboards' is grueling and lacks security," Thanu Yakupitiyage of the New York Immigration Coalition told me. "Workers rights violations are common for these workers and brings up the broader issue of immigrants, particularly recent arrivals, being treated fairly and humanely."

Most of the human billboards I spoke to were men who just immigrated from Africa to the Bronx or Brooklyn with no employment prospects lined up for them. Africans make up just 4 percent of the city's foreign-born population, yet their numbers have incre​ased by 39 percent, to 128,000, over the first decade of the 21st century. (That's not counting many more who are living here without proper documentation.)

These outdoor advertising gigs don't require experience and usually pay in straight cash, so it's an attractive industry for recent arrivals like Muhammad. "You come to New York and you don't know anything else," he told me. "You can't find other jobs, so you take this."

The hours at Muhammad's last job were too short, so he told his manager he wanted a stable pay. Soon enough he was outside, holding a sign. But he hopes to eventually get his driver's license and maybe even go to school so he can score a higher-paying job. "This is my dream," he says, pointing to his head. "But until then, I work."

That is another part of the human billboard formula: a make-it-or-break-it attitude, a headstrong Horatio Alger mentality that has driven immigrants to New York since the 19th century. Of course, this up-by-your-bootstraps mantra tends to overlook the rough conditions one has to endure.

Take Koffi, a native of Togo. The young transplant spends eight hours a day, seven days a week, selling bus tours. Adorned with the company's green jacket, he wears a sign around his neck that shows off the latest deals and discounts for a ride through Brooklyn. If temperatures drop, he rotates between an hour outside and an hour under some sort of urban shelter (like scaffolding, foyers, or awnings). This has been his life for the past year and a half, so he's used to standing by now.

"If it's an opportunity, I'll take it!" he said to me. "I don't have any other option. But it's not easy: If there's no work, there's no commission."

He's been there before, once spending eight hours out there on Times Square and selling only two rides to starry-eyed tourists, which amounted to $68 in total sales for the day. A quarter commission left Koffi with just $15. Without an hourly wage—which, unlike Muhammad, Koffi does not have—that comes out to less than $2 an hour. And this is his only job, so he has to sell. His life depends on it.

"It's easy enough to stand here," he said. "But being able to communicate is what matters. Being able to sell these packages well. When you sell, there's no pressure on you. Because if I lose it, I can't pay the bills."

I asked New York State's Department of Labor whether all of this is legal, presenting them with the situation: a commission-based job for immigrants, who are presumably working "off the books," that involves standing outside for hours on end with the risk that they might not earn anything at all. But the agency did not respond to repeated requests for comment. (This piece will be updated if I hear back from them.) 

"It's unpredictable, too," Koffi said. "On rainy days, I've sold a lot. And on sunny days, I've sold little." He hopes that fortune is on his side every day, because "on lucky days, you're very busy."

When I asked Koffi if he had friends who do this, he listed their outposts: Rockefeller Center, Penn Station, Fifth Avenue, and here, in Times Square. Most of them are immigrants, he told me, who were "eager to work." He had heard about the job himself through a friend soon after he landed in the States.

The means by which these immigrants find themselves in the epicenter of American commercialism varies: From what I was told, it's either via word-of-mouth or through an employment center similar to the ones in Chinatown, where immigrants are siphoned off to restaurants along the Eastern seaboard, as was recently r​eported in the New Yorker.

Kebba, a native of Gambia, spends his days holding a sign for an Asian restaurant located down the block in the Theater District. Issued with a temporary visa, he's here on his holiday to make quick money, and, like Muhammad, a majority of his income is sent back home, where he works in banking.

"It gets cold out here, and my legs feel tired," he told me one night. "It's bad pay, but I'll continue this." When asked why he doesn't seek an alternative, he said, "I don't believe in sitting around all day, acting lazy." 

In September, Mayor Bill de Blasio, who campaigned on a "tale of two cities" narrative that emphasized the unfortunate gap between New York's rich and poor, expand​ed the livable wage to $13.13 from $11.90 for workers connected to city projects. That, of course, doesn't affect Kebba, Muhammad, or Koffi, but what does is the idea that they're not earning a legit wage.

This is Kebba's second week outside. He works six hours a day, six days a week, in two shifts: one in the afternoon, and one at night. In between, he's given a free lunch by his employers and, for his time, he's paid $9 an hour. That's $324 a week, $1,296 a month, or $15,552 a year.

As of 2012, the median income of the  lowest fifth of N​ew Yor​kers was $8,993, according to Census data. Human billboards are just a few thousand dollars above that, tiptoeing around the poverty line, which is curren​tly set by the city's Center for Economic Opportunity at $31,039 for a two-adult, two-family home. Nearly half of New Yorkers live near the poverty line, and, for non-US citizens, the poverty rate increased 5.9 percent to 29.9 percent between 2008 an​d 2012. (The Center for Economic Opportunity did not respond to my request for comment, and neither did the mayor's office.)

When you look at the statistics, the odds are vastly stacked against these guys. But none of that matters to Muhammad; statistics don't really affect his day-to-day grind. Besides, nobody else is willing to do what he does. Hardly anyone wants to be a human billboard.

"In New York, the sign holder is the most bottom-rung job," he told me during rush hour. "People are ashamed to show their face like this. They don't want other people to see them doing this. But me, I don't care. I'm working hard, and I get paid."

Follow John Surico on ​Twitter.

Catholics Are Going to Freak When We Find Aliens

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Once, a long time ago, while partaking in an activity that is now legal in Washington and Colorado, I got stuck on one hell of a deep question: What would happen to the world's religions if we made contact with alien life? Would leaders tweak their theology in the face of the revelation that humans are no more unique than a particularly resilient strain of mold? Or would the pious see that their scriptures were bullshit and riot in the streets with nothing left to live for?

Instead of just forgetting the question like I did, Dr. David A. Weintraub, an astronomer at Vanderbilt University, wrote a ​book of answers. ​Religions and Extraterrestrial Life: How Will We Deal With It? examines how the world's major religions will handle it if we ever discover life elsewhere in the universe. So I talked to him about that.

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VICE: Why did you write this? Do you know something we don't about first contact?
David Weintraub: No contact I'm aware of. Astronomers have gotten very good at discovering planets, and the reason we're interested is the possibility they might host life. That's the driving question, ultimately. Astronomers are just as interested as everyone else, but we're throwing big toys at the problem. As we speak, that question is very quickly becoming one astronomers may be able to answer.

How do astronomy and religion overlap?
Let me give some examples. One very simple and obvious one is the Star of Bethlehem. That's a religious question for most Christians, but it's also an astronomical one. Was there an actual Star of Bethlehem? If so, what was that thing? There's an overlap between the accuracy of calendars and astronomical holidays. One of the courses I teach is on the trail of Galileo. Why did the Roman Catholic Church put Galileo on trial for saying the Earth orbits the sun? Isn't that an astronomy question? Apparently, 400 years ago, that was a religious question.

It seems there are two competing narratives between religion and astronomy. Religion is the story of how every single person is special, while astronomy is the long reveal of how our planet is not all that special. Is there room for coexistence?
It depends on what astronomers find, and then how different religions deal with that. The existence of alien life does not, in and of itself, threaten religion. A lot are quite compatible with, even happy with, the idea that extraterrestrial life exists. There are only some religions that seem worried.

So, if aliens land in Times Square tomorrow, which ones are in trouble?
Let me step back for a moment and say that what I was writing about was not aliens in flying saucers making contact. What astronomers are doing is detecting chemical signatures in the atmosphere that says life is out there, which is very different from aliens climbing out of flying saucers and saying, "We're here." But the ones that would have problems are the most conservative forms of Christianity. 

Why?
They put the most literal weight on the creation of humanity through God creating Adam and Eve—that the Garden of Eden was a literal place on the physical Earth, and that's how intelligent beings were created. If there are intelligent beings from another place, that would threaten the idea that evolution doesn't occur. Because either life somehow gets started in other places and evolves to become intelligent, or God made a decision to create intelligent life in some other place, and that would seem puzzling if we're supposed to be the favored creatures.

What religions would be cool with it?
Judaism could care less. That has nothing to do with other intelligent beings. If God wants to creates other beings, why should we care? Mormons seem to believe quite strongly there are intelligent beings elsewhere. Within the scriptural writings of Islam, there seem to be strong assertions of intelligent beings elsewhere. The same goes for Hindus and Buddhists. There doesn't seem to be any contradictions for religions that believe in reincarnation. Reincarnation can happen anywhere in the universe, so why wouldn't there be life elsewhere? There might be something special about being reincarnated in human form on Earth, a special opportunity for shedding bad karma or generating good karma, but in terms of simply the opportunity, reincarnation doesn't preclude it from happening anywhere else in the universe.

In the book, you go through the possibility of angels being aliens...
I felt I had to address the question. Because if you believe in angels, they are not human, and they're sort of from beyond the Earth. They come from heaven, right? But most religions don't seem to think of angels as we would think of extraterrestrials, because they're not made of anything. They're not corporeal, you can't touch them. Other than a few unusual folks who identify angels with the devil, angels are not thought of in the same way as we think of ET, or Klingons, or Spock, or whatever.

You break down the negative or nonchalant responses from religions. But are there any religions where this would be positive news?
There are a number I stayed away from [in the book] that would say, Yes, that proves it! There are a lot of 20th-century religions, sometimes referred to as "UFO religions," that very strongly believe in UFOs. They believe that aliens have visited the Earth. I didn't deal with those. 

What about older religions? 
​I'm not sure. The Seventh Day Adventists, for example, believe in extraterrestrials, but that humans are the only sinful beings. This is the belief that Adam and Eve are real, and we're directly descended, and so if you're not directly descended from Adam and Eve you can't suffer from sin. They believe extraterrestrials exist, but they're not sinful—but if we actually met them and shook their hands, we would be able to learn whether or not this is true. For some religions, the meeting with the extraterrestrials would teach them something. That holds true for Roman Catholics, who are wrestling with how to deal with the idea of sin throughout the universe. They're gradually moving [away] from the literal Adam and Eve, but the idea of original sin still exists as a concept. Exactly what that would mean if life existed beyond the Earth is not something they have quite figured out.

Pope Francis said last May that he'd​ baptize the aliens.
The important question is whether the extraterrestrials merit conversion. You only want to convert if they suffer original sin, if they need to be saved. I think Roman Catholics ultimately will decide that, Yes indeed, in ways we don't quite understand, extraterrestrials have suffered original sin and therefore need to be converted. I think the history of Roman Catholicism shows they're ready to convert. The question is, does Christianity, through Jesus's redemption on Earth, apply to them? Or do they need their own savior on their own planet?

Would there be a jailbreak by other religions to convert aliens?
Most religions would not convert. Judaism's not in the business of proselytizing. Islam, as best as I can tell, wouldn't. Those within the Islamic community seem to understand that Islam was brought to Earth by the prophet Muhammad, and it seems to be a religion for humans. Other intelligent beings on other planets would have their own prophet and prophetically revealed religion, so they don't need to export Islam. Mormons might want to do the conversion. A lot of other Christian denominations would. Eastern Orthodox churches might. More conservative Protestants might. The Evangelicals might. Unitarians, Quakers, Hindus, and Buddhists wouldn't.

When did the question of alien life first enter the thoughts of theologians?
Most major religions go back a couple thousand years. If we go back to that time, I don't think anyone spent a lot of time thinking about this. But certainly the Greek philosophers spent time thinking and writing about it, and that inheritance is a mixed bag. Because Aristotle was pretty dominant in his opinion that the Earth is the center of the universe, so there can't be life anywhere else. There were those who disagreed with him, and they usually lost the argument, but the ideas were nevertheless in the intellectual sphere. Soon after Aristotle, Christianity became the dominant religion, and the early ideas were pretty Earth-centered. But the idea that God couldn't make other worlds was seen to be limiting God's power. So in the 13th century, Thomas Aquinas argued against Aristotle's ideas. He said, You know, if God wants to make other worlds, God could have made other worlds. However, it's evident God chose not to. That was the major intellectual thread within Christianity for most of its history. But in other religions like Buddhism and Hinduism and Judaism, I don't think there was a lot of thought expended on the issue. What little thought was invested was either, it's impossible and who cares, or it's definitely out there and who cares. It wasn't a big deal.

Have religions tweaked their philosophy in the past century as technology made it possible for new planets to be discovered?
Part of what motivated me was that there hasn't been a lot written or said. I think it's very possible that in the next century, within my children's lifetime, we will discover life in the universe. Isn't it time we actually started thinking seriously about this? Two hundred years ago, Thomas Paine put forth an argument that said you can't be a Christian and believe in extraterrestrial life. You can pick one or the other. When he said that, a number of Christians tried to wrestle with his arguments, but they basically swept it under the rug. Perhaps it's time to take it back from under the rug and wrestle with it again. I don't think it's impossible to believe in extraterrestrial life and be a Christian, but if we find life, people are going to have some problems to deal with. They ought to start wrestling with those issues sooner rather than later. 

Follow Rick Paulas on ​Twitter.

Luzzara, 1953

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YOUNG MAN, LUZZARA (IVO LUSETTI)
1953; gelatin silver print
Image: 5 7/8 × 4 5/8 in. (15 × 11.8 cm)
Sheet: 6 3/16 × 4 15/16 in. (15.7 × 12.5 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Retrospective Collection, 1915 -1975, gift of the estate of Paul Strand, 1980 - 21- 309

Paul Strand has been put on a pedestal so high it can be difficult for a contemporary audience to notice him. In 1945, he became the first photographer to have a one-man show at the Museum of Modern Art, and his early urban scenes and abstractions helped cement photography as an integral part of modernity's aesthetic. But if he's so seminal, why hasn't there been a comprehensive retrospective of his work since 1971? Strand should without a doubt be considered one of the greatest American photographers. So why does a Google search of his name return only a few of the photos that are on the following pages?

Strand didn't think reproductions of his photographs did justice to the originals. Viewed in person, his masterful silver and platinum gelatin prints are full of inky shadows and delicate highlights that are impossible to duplicate in print and often translate poorly on screen. Strand's work is also under-discussed because his photos rarely have a "hook." These are serious pictures by a serious man—in many ways the antithesis of pop art. They are black-and-white, lingering on the dark part of the spectrum, and formal in composition.

Georgia O'Keeffe was a friend and subject of Strand's, and she remembered in her later years that his first wife, Rebecca, "was a very lively, lean young woman, and Strand was thick and slow." He liked to arrive at a town square and wait for hours until the locals began to ignore him. Once they would relax into their daily routines, he would sneak his photos. He often used a lens that contained a prism to photograph the people of these places without their knowing. While he pointed the camera in one direction, he could photograph the scene 45 degrees to his left or right.

Today, photographing people without their knowledge is often considered problematic, but because of his sensitive approach, Strand managed to present his subjects as equals rather than others.

This fall, the Philadelphia Museum of Art is presenting Strand's first career-spanning retrospective ­in four decades. The show celebrates the museum's recent acquisition of 3,000 photographs and glass positives from the Paul Strand Archive at the Aperture Foundation. Combined with 600 pieces that Strand's estate gifted the museum in the years following his last retrospective there, in 1971, it now holds the largest collection of his work in the world.

For years, Strand had dreamed of photographing an entire village, an ambition inspired by Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio. In 1949, he met Cesare Zavattini, who wrote the screenplay for Vittorio De Sica's neorealist classic Bicycle Thieves, and expressed this desire to him. Zavattini encouraged Strand to photograph the Italian town of Luzzara, his birthplace, over the course of more than five weeks in the spring of 1953. Luzzara is a small agricultural town in the Po river valley, known for its cheese industry and its straw hats and horse bridals. Strand and Zavattini chose to focus on local craftsmen as well as family structures. A townsman named Valentino Lusetti, who had learned some English as an American prisoner of war during WWII, acted as their translator and fixer, giving Strand access. In fact, Strand's most iconic group portrait from Luzzara depicts Lusetti's family, posed in front of the facade of their ancestral home. This photograph became the cover of Aperture's 1955 monograph Un Paese, which paired first-person narratives collected by Zavattini with Strand's photographs. Despite the unique achievement of photographing an entire village, the following pages contain images contemporary audiences may largely be unfamiliar with.

Strand's portrait of Luzzara is sincere. The series was created over a long stretch of time and was made using slow exposures in natural light. There is no irony here, only a desire to picture an entire human ecosystem in a way that is slow and cool, but by no means removed. As more and more self-conscious photography is hurled at humankind every day, it's important to remember to stop and look closely at what we consume. Strand understood that photography has the power to change the world. He was willing to sit and wait for the world to look the way it does when nobody notices it. That's why now is a good time to stop and notice Paul Strand.

-MATTHEW LEIFHEIT

MARKET DAY, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image: 4 5/8 × 5 7/8 in. (11.7 x 15 cm)
Sheet: 4 11/16 × 6 in. (11.9 x 15.2 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, purchased with funds contributed by Zoë and Dean Pappas, 2011- 90 - 45

THE FARM, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image and sheet: 4 11/16 × 5 7/8 in. (11.9 × 15 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, purchased with funds contributed by Barbara B. and Theodore R. Aronson, 2011 - 90 - 44

PLACE TO MEET, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image and sheet: 4 5/8 × 5 7/8 in. (11.8 x 15 cm)
Mount: 4 15/16 x 6 1/8 in. (12.5 x 15.5 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, purchased with funds contributed by Zoë and Dean Pappas, 2011‑90‑48

BICYCLES, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image and sheet: 4 3/8 x 4 in. (11.1 x 10.1 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, purchased with museum funds, 2010-
14-294

IN THE RICOVERO, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print; image and sheet: 5 7/8 × 4 5/8 in. (15 × 11.8 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, gift of Lynne and Harold Honickman, 2011 - 197 - 16

GLORIA, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print; image and sheet: 5 13/16 × 4 5/8 in. (14.8 × 11.7 cm); Fleischmann Vintage Works, Zurich, Switzerland

HAT FACTORY, LUZZARA
1953 (negative); 1960s (print); gelatin silver print; image: 9 3/4 x 7 3/4 in. (24.7 x 19.7 cm); sheet: 9 15/16 x 8 1/16 in. (25.2 x 20.4 cm)
The Paul Strand Collection, partial and promised gift of Marguerite and Gerry Lenfest, 2009 - 160 - 417

THE COUPLE, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image and sheet: 4 5/8 × 5 7/8 in. (11.8 × 14.9 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, purchased with funds contributed by Ralph Citino and Lawrence Taylor, 2011 - 90 - 33

WORKER AT THE CO-OP, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image and sheet: 4 5/8 × 5 7/8 in. (11.8 × 14.9 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Retrospective Collection, 1915 - 1975, gift of the estate of Paul Strand, 1980 - 21 - 282

PARMESAN, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image: 4 5/8 × 5 7/8 in. (11.8 x 15 cm); sheet: 4 7/8 x 6 9/16 in. (12.4 x 16.6 cm)
The Paul Strand Collection, purchased with funds contributed by Andrea M. Baldeck, MD, and William M. Hollis Jr., 2011 - 90 - 15

THE MAYOR, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print
Image and sheet: 4 5/8 × 5 7/8 in. (11.8 × 15 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Collection, purchased with the Fiske and Marie Kimball Fund, 2011 - 90 - 27

PORTRAIT, LUZZARA
1953; gelatin silver print; image: 5 7/8 × 4 5/8 in. (14.9 × 11.8 cm); sheet: 6 3/16 × 4 15/16 in. (15.7 × 12.5 cm)
Philadelphia Museum of Art: the Paul Strand Retrospective Collection, 1915 -1975, gift of the estate of Paul Strand, 1980 - 21 - 310

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