Quantcast
Channel: VICE CA
Viewing all 38002 articles
Browse latest View live

Bad Cop Blotter: Stop SWAT Raids

$
0
0


Photo by author

How many dead and injured cops and civilians will it take for police to reevaluate how SWAT raids are conducted? There are almost 150 such raids a day, mostly over drugs, and many take place in the wee hours and include potentially lethal flash-bang grenades, military-like tactics, and plenty of chances for violence to escalate. Unless it’s a true hostage situation, using SWAT teams, especially against people in their homes, means you’re either scaring the hell out of a nonviolent person or making a violent one believe he’s being attacked. Bloodshed can occur in either case.

When these raids go wrong, lives are destroyed. One example is Matthew David Stewart, who committed suicide in his jail cell last month, apparently to avoid potentially facing the death sentence over his killing one officer and injuring five more in a 2012 Utah marijuana raid (he said that he opened fire on police because he thought he was being robbed). In the last decade, other cops have died at the hands of other targets of similar operations like Cory Maye and Ryan Frederick, both of whom plausibly claimed that they didn’t know who was busting down their doors.

When SWAT tactics go really wrong, civilians who haven’t even committed a crime end up being killed by cops. Some of the recent dead include Iraq veteran Jose Guerena, 92-year-old Kathryn Johnston, and seven-year-old Aiyana Stanley-Jones, all of whom were killed in their homes by police in horrifically botched raids.

Detroit cop Joseph Weekley, who is currently on trial for involuntary manslaughter in the 2010 death of Stanley-Jones, admits he accidentally shot the young girl. But he says it happened while he fought with the girl’s grandmother in a confused, post–flash-bang-grenade struggle. (The raid was part of a search for a murder suspect who was eventually found in the above duplex; the police were being trailed by a TV crew from the reality show The First 48.)

Weekley’s account was surprisingly—what with the famous “blue line” code of silence that officers adopt when one of their own is charged with wrongdoing—disputed by fellow cop Shawn Stallard, who testified that he didn’t see any scuffling when he entered the home close behind Weekley.

If all officers on the stand were as honest as Stallard seems to be, that would be a hell of a start in reforming police misconduct. But to hold cops accountable, we would have to change—among other things—drug laws, Homeland Security military-tech grants, overcriminalization in general, biased judges and prosecutors, and immunity laws that let cops get away with murder if they were on duty at the time. There’s a whole lot rotten in the state of American policing—much more than any one cop, or even one department, can claim credit for. But this doesn’t excuse those officers who fail spectacularly at the whole protect-and-serve thing.

To point out at least some of those failures, today marks the start of the Bad Cop Blotter, a new VICE column where dangerous, arrogant, and stupid police behavior gets shamed, and good officers—on occasion—get praised (even if that praise is damningly faint). Here are the worst things cops have done in the past week:

- A grand jury won’t bring charges against Matthew Marin, a Houston cop who fatally shot 45-year-old Brian Claunch last September. Marin killed Claunch, a schizophrenic wheelchair-bound double amputee living in a group home, after he backed Marin’s partner into a corner, and refused to reveal what turned out to be a ballpoint pen.

- Forty-year-old Christopher Self was sentenced to 18 years in prison for shooting a member of a team of SWAT officers and narcotics detectives in June 2011. Officers threw a flash-bang grenade through Self’s window and Self responded by firing a single shot, which hit a cop in the arm. Throughout the trial, Self argued that he didn’t know the identity of these morning intruders.

- There are lingering controversies—enough to warrant a grand jury hearing—in the case of 19-year-old Daniel Vail, a suspect in a weed-related home invasion who was killed by cops in a 1 AM no-knock SWAT raid on January 10. Vail’s family says that the cops should have just knocked on the front door rather than storming the house with weapons drawn in the middle of the night.

- A homeless, mentally ill man was fatally shot by Lancaster, Pennsylvania, police on Monday, June 8, after allegedly waving a nine-inch knife, running away, and then coming toward cops and not dropping his weapon. Witnesses dispute some of this, including whether he had a knife at all.

- Buffalo, New York, narcotics cops raided the wrong apartment earlier this month, which wouldn't have been so newsworthy had the resident, Adam Arroyo, not come home to a busted door, multiple bullet holes in his kitchen wall, and a dead dog.

- The family of David Silva filed a lawsuit this past weekend stemming from Silva’s May 8 death in police custody. The autopsy claims that the 33-year-old died of heart disease, but the family disputes this and says that he was beaten to death. Cops took several witnesses’ cellphones after the incident.

- A 14-year-old who got suspended from school for refusing to change out of his National Rifle Association shirt was also arrested; he’s been charged with obstructing an officer.

- The police chief in Provincetown, Massachusetts, is looking into why a bar played NWA’s “Fuck Tha Police” while he was present. (That bar, by the way, is called the Squealing Pig.) Good use of police resources there.

- USA Today reported this week on the police giving tickets to a 20-year-old from New Jersey named Dan Langley for having a heart attack while driving, thereby causing a minor traffic accident.

- On the other hand, a different police officer probably saved Langley’s life by performing CPR on the scene. VICE salutes Sergeant Andrew O'Neill for that good work, and we grant him—and Shawn Stallard—our Good Cop of the Week award.

Lucy Steigerwald is a freelance writer and photographer. Read her blog here and follow her on Twitter: @lucystag

More on cops:

3,500 Cops Who Want All Drugs to Be Legal

Testilying: Cops Are Liars Who Get Away with Perjury

New York Cops Will Arrest You for Carrying Condoms


Really, Ryan?: Try Not to Destroy Your Life

$
0
0

A few months ago I tried molly for the first time in the bathroom of a bar in Brooklyn. I dissolved the powder in water, drank it, and waited till I felt different. A short while later, fireworks exploded all over my brain. Everything sped up, people’s voices sounded like the Chipmunks, lights started flashing. Overwhelmed, I left the bar and ran into a friend who I hadn’t seen in years.

“Kevin, wow, you look really skinny,” I said with more than a tinge of judgment.

He smirked. “I know. I had a hyperactive thyroid and lost a lot of weight.”

“I miss your curves. WHERE ARE YOUR CURVES?!”

Kevin focused his eyes on me and said, “Wait, you’re rolling right now, aren’t you?”

I paused before blurting out, “OK, yes, I am, but it’s really fucking intense and this conversation is helping me calm down, so please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” he assured me, rubbing my arm.

Then, just like that, everything got worse. My heart started thumping violently in my chest and I began to see shadows that obviously weren’t there. Without giving it a second thought, I ditched my friends and hailed a cab back to my apartment where I felt it would be safer. On the ride home, my scalp felt like it was an orange being squeezed with the pulp dripping onto the seats. When I got out of the cab, I took one step and found it incredibly difficult to walk. It was as if sandbags were attached to my shoes and every step I took required more energy and focus than the last.

I need water, I thought. I cannot be dehydrated right now. Otherwise, I will die.

I walked into my corner bodega, grabbed three bottles of water and made my way to the counter, still moving like a pathetic slug.

The clerk looked at me quizzically as I plopped down the water bottles.

“Um, sir,” he said gently.

“WHAT?”

“Do you need an ambulance?”

An ambulance? I didn’t think I needed one but then again I hadn’t looked in the mirror since I started rolling. If a sober person is looking at me and immediately thinking “ambulance” that means I should probably get one, right?

“Sure,” I responded with defeat. “An ambulance would be nice.”

The clerk gave me a milk crate to sit on in the middle of the bodega while he called 911. Drunk people were floating in and out, taking notice of my disheveled appearance, and laughing.

“Oh shit,” one girl with cornrows remarked to her friend. “That dude is having a bad trip.”

It took a long time for an ambulance to come. Finally, I spoke up and asked the clerk what the hold up was.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, stamping prices on boxes of Advil. “I called them twice.”

My phone rang. It was my friend Carey. I answered.

“Hey Ry, where are you?”

“I’m sitting on a milk crate in the middle of the bodega rolling on molly. They’re calling an ambulance for me.”

“An ambulance? What’s wrong?!”

“I don’t know. They just thought I needed one. I feel OK now, though.”

All of a sudden, I heard the sirens coming.

“It’s almost here, “ I said.

“Ryan, don’t take that! An ambulance costs $2,000 WITH insurance!”

“It does?”

“Yes! Don't go in there!”

I got up from the milk crate.

“Sir, stay put. Your ambulance is here!” the clerk yelled at me.

I continued walking outside and saw the EMT get out of the ambulance. For a moment, we locked eyes.

“OK, I’m running! I’m running away from the ambulance and going into my apartment!” I started sprinting spastically down the street. Curiously, no one even bothered to chase after me.

“We’ll be there in five.” Carey said, before hanging up.

I ran the half block to my building and waited until Carey and her girlfriend, Renee, came over. My whole body was drenched in sweat but drinking water made me feel a million times better. I didn’t feel like I was going to die anymore.

The buzzer rang and I let them up. Carey and Renee came in, immediately assessing me to see if I was really OK.

“Do you feel better?” Renee asked, rubbing my shoulders.

“Yes,” I said, my eyes involuntarily closing. “Can we listen to Cibo Matto?”

***

I am doing what I do best; I am running away from intimacy. I am lying in bed with someone, it doesn’t matter who, and the sun is hitting me like a scolding parent. I need to get him out of my apartment.

“I feel like I am going to be sick,” I say to him, clutching my stomach. This is a move I have perfected over the years, and it works every single time.

“Really?” he looks at me with concern. He is dumb, he is sweet, he could be good, but we will never knowwwwwwww.

“Yes,” I groan. “I’m sorry.”

He gets the message. I’m not asking for his help. He leaves and a sense of relief washes over me that feels almost better than the orgasm I had 20 minutes earlier. I feel safe again. Comfortable. Nothing can hurt me when there is no one to do the hurting.

I order a breakfast burrito and watch some Netflix. This is when I’m at my happiest. This is why I’m going to die alone.

***

Every time you make a decision that’s dishonest and dripping in self-sabotage, you get further and further away from the person you are and the person you want to be. In my 20s, it’s been my m.o. to experience it all. Did I even really want to try molly that night? No. I figured it would be too intense for me, but I did it anyway because I don’t want to be finished making mistakes. The bad things, unfortunately, still feel good. Except that’s a trick. They don’t actually feel good anymore. Not like they used to. Bad things can only be fun when you don’t know yourself yet. That’s sort of the point in doing them in the first place. You sample different things and find out what you like and what you don’t like, and in the process you hopefully get a better handle on your personality. It’s different, though, when you’re at the age when you already have a good understanding of who you are. The days spent pushing anything that’s real out of your apartment, the mishaps that you gleefully told over brunch the next day with your friends are no longer cute or funny. In college, people took pride in their mistakes. They wore their Plan B emergency or alcohol poisoning like it was a badge of honor. Then things changed. Or they were supposed to change. I don’t know. Not everybody gets it at the same time. Some people have a natural inclination to grow up and be healthy and take care of themselves while others just want to see how near death they can get until they feel alive again. I’m somewhere in between. I don’t want to eat kale or work out or go on hikes because, boring, but I don’t want to be a mess either. I want to be happy, I want to let someone love me, I want a dog and a backyard. Basically I want a life that feels real and earned.

I had no idea it would be this hard to fix the bad things in myself. Every day I feel like I’m falling behind my friends and missing the point, not letting the life lesson marinate. The impulse to destroy your life is strong but it can fade more and more each day. Happiness is not getting an ambulance called for you while sitting in the middle of a convenience store rolling on ecstasy or faking nausea to get someone to leave you. Not even close. Everybody deserves a life in color. Everybody deserves all the love, all the money, all the orgasms in this world. You just have to stop fucking yourself over before you get there.

Previously - With Friends Like These, Who Needs Casual Acquaintences?

@ryanoconn

Pen Pals: There's No Sex in Prison Showers

$
0
0


Photo via Flickr user J. Todd Poling

Let's talk about turning gay in prison. I feel like I’ve written about this before, but let me repeat myself, ’cause the gay/rape question is frequently brought up when discussing jail. Basically, everyone I know thinks I did some gay shit in jail, or got raped or something. It makes me chuckle, ‘cause I never saw rape and rarely even heard rumors about gay hookups. Maybe there are a lot of rapes in the big, scary, maximum-security federal pens where they put the real insane hardened criminals. I don’t know about any of that though.

The average guy in jail is so scared of homosexuals or people thinking that he might be gay that we all wear our underwear in the shower. It’s pretty funny—we’ve all seen the jail shows and heard the endless “don’t drop the soap” jokes, but in all the years I was locked up, I was NEVER NAKED except when getting strip-searched by the cops or during my time in Shock boot camp, where they make you get naked on some psychological belittling bullshit. It was so nice to get out the slammajamma and just be naked. In fact, I’m naked right now, letting my ass and nuts marinate on the couch. I’m naked whenever I can be to make up for all that time I spent clothed in jail.

I don’t know why exactly we were so worried about being naked in front of other men, but I really don’t like it—having other dicks bouncing around me is gross—and I was real happy that everyone wore their boxers in the showers. I've noticed in prisons and gyms that older dudes are cool with other men’s joints flopping around them though, so I guess it’s a generational thing. The OTs (old-timers) shower freeball style, and so do some gay dudes who just don’t give a fuck. I should mention that there are hardly ever any openly gay men in prison but when there is one, no one in the dorm will shower with him. Usually, it’s an understood rule that the gay guy will shower early in the morning when no one else is in there. Some don’t give a fuck and they run up in the shower basically ready to fight, but 99 times out of 100 when they get in the shower, it will clear the fuck out. Inmates are really scared of the gayness.

I don’t want to shower with a gay dude either—sorry if that offends anyone, but it’s the truth. Isn’t it similar to having a woman shower naked next to me? They wouldn’t want to be washing themselves knowing that I’m secretly staring at them and dreaming of licking them nipples hard. Gay guys always say, “Don’t flatter yourself—like I would ever be attracted to someone like you!” But I could easily tell that to a female so she doesn’t get worried about being half naked around me.

Anyway, I bet some inmates really enjoy having a gay man stare at them. That’s a real self-esteem booster, right? I’ve had supposedly straight men tell me that I’m looking good and really getting cut up while I’m in the shower and that makes me uncomfortable—that means they’re staring at my mostly naked body noticing that I’ve been working out, which is like only a couple steps away at most from fantasizing about makin’ sweet love to me. Or maybe I’m just not comfortable with my sexuality. I dunno.

The question I have is, how long does it take the average straight man to change and start feeling gay feelings in prison? I’ve never been remotely close to the point where I’m like, Fuck it, I need some love, I don’t care what type it is, but I imagine a lot of men have made that choice at some point. If you haven’t been with a woman in years and you get to staring at a dude’s physique in the shower while he’s lathering himself up with soap, wouldn’t some guys start imagining how it might not be so bad to start switch-hitting?

In any case, even if some dudes were checking me out, I still felt safe in the shower. It’s not easy to rape someone like it is on TV. How do they just jam it in like that? Is everything pre-lubed and ready to rock? Seems like the logistics of man-rape are pretty tricky. After all, it’s not that easy to ram a cock into a butthole, especially the tight, virgin buttholes that most of us are packing.

Some people hypothesize that we all have a little bit of gay in us but we repress those urges, some more than others. I’m sure a lot of men and women go into jail thinking they are completely straight and eventually start to question that notion, especially if they do a long bid. This would be a very interesting study for some super scientifical psychologist looking to waste everyone’s time, money, and brain power. All I can tell you is that I never saw anything gay in the shower—though that doesn’t mean I wouldn't be real, real happy if I never have to bathe with a bunch of dudes again.

Bert Burykill is the pseudonym of our prison correspondent, who has spent time in a number of prisons in New York State. He tweets here.

Previously: Burying the Dead and Unloved

I Wore Blackface in Quebec and Everybody Loved It

$
0
0


Mario Jean in blackface. via SRC.

A Quebec media war exploded over the past few weeks after a Mario Jean a popular Francophone comedian wore blackface on national public television to impersonate black comedian Boucar Diouf. To the rest of the country, blackface is an obvious no-no, but every now and then in Quebec, you’ll see a white French comedian painting up his face and impersonating a black guy on TV, and by every now and then, I mean every single fucking year. Strangely enough, most people usually just laugh it off. But this time, Huffington Post commentator Nydia Dauphin called it out and said that the racist behavior has got to stop.

Rather than throw up their dark foundation-stained hands while sheepishly saying “guilty!” Nydia’s piece sparked a series of articles from various publications criticizing her for bashing Quebec and calling all Quebecers racists. It’s important to point out that Nydia didn’t actually call all Quebecers racists. She did, however, point out a major problem in Quebec—one that very few people here seem interested in tackling. And that is the fact that most French Quebecers are totally okay with a white person slathering black makeup on their face and imitating a black person.

In her response to Nydia’s article, journalist Judith Lussier admitted having never heard of the term blackface before. She even provided her readers with a link to the Wikipedia page, assuming they would be as just clueless (if you’re from Quebec and still confused check it out here).The unfortunate truth is: She’s totally right, lots of Quebecers don’t know about blackface. Some say Quebec’s education system might be at fault. The province’s high school curriculum provides youth with very little information concerning the history of black people in Canada, and makes a very brief mention of black slaves’ presence in the country. This results in most Quebecers having the impression that slavery and racism in the nineteenth century was not a Canadian problem, but rather an American one. Of course Canada did have slaves (in fact the only known slave cemetery in Canada, unfortunately named “Nigger Rock,” is located an hour south of Montreal).

The problem is that when Quebecers do find out about it, as they have during this debacle, they claim that it’s not part of their history, and therefore, not their problem. Which is weird because last time I checked, racism and cultural insensitivity is everybody’s problem.

It seems that Quebec’s isolationism and desire to be distinct from the rest of North American culture has come back to bite us on our artificially-darkened comically-inflated ass. Because we live in a microcosm with our own language—with separate political, entertainment, and economic spheres—it’s actually possible for a kid to grow up without ever hearing about blackface.

In fact, I’m embarrassed to say that I was one of those kids. When I was 12, I wore blackface. For my seventh grade English class we were asked to write and perform a monologue presenting the life and work of a dead English-speaking personality. I wanted to be Ray Charles because I just discovered downloading and was totally obsessed with his music. Naturally I wanted to look like Ray Charles so I asked my mom if I could paint my face black and go to school. Instead of giving me a lecture on cultural sensitivity and the extreme hardships that people of color have gone through, she just said: “Sure!” And off we went to the pharmacy.

We bought “espresso shade” Cover Girl foundation (not easy to find in Quebec city where pretty much everyone is white) and my mom dabbed it all over my face, snapped a black swimming cap on my head (Ray Charles doesn’t have long hair, duh), and sent me off to school. I did my presentation, everyone loved it, and I got an A.

Now, I look back on it and cringe. But at the time I had no idea I was being a racist asshole. I was paying homage to an artist that I thought was a genius. Does that make 12-year-old me a racist? I don’t think so. Does that make it okay? Probably not. But I did it, and now I feel pretty crappy about it.


The real Ray Charles. via.

But that’s what’s a bit problematic about Mario Jean’s impersonation of Boucar Diouf. As fucked up as it sounds, it also came from a seemingly good place. Mario was not parodying Boucar as a black person. His portrayal was literal and intended to show Boucar as an integral member of the Quebec comedy community. Was it malicious and caricatured? No more than any other impersonation. Was it insensitive, offensive and a poor choice? Clearly.

The fact that no one—not the actors, co-hosts, producers or directors of the event—took into consideration the significance of blackface as a racist concept, and the implications that lie behind it are rather stunning. This isn’t some sheltered 12-year old girl’s English presentation. This is a full-grown man and respected Quebec performer on a national awards ceremony. Ignorance is no excuse.

Of course as Nydia points out, this isn’t an isolated incident.  Remember two years ago when a group of University students decided to dress up in Jamaican colours, chanted “smoke more weed,” and painted their bodies black? The outrageously stereotyped depiction of Jamaican people shocked bystanders who watched the students simplify Jamaican culture while parading around with stuffed monkeys like a modern day minstrel show. Yikes!

Complaints with the Quebec Human Rights Commission were filed quickly thereafter. The students defended themselves by saying it was a tribute to Olympic athlete Usain Bolt. Yeah, I’m sure the runner was incredibly flattered to see a bunch of white kids in blackface running around a stadium like complete morons.

There Is No Quebecois Word for the N-bomb

In her original piece, Nydia discusses how uncomfortable it is watching Quebec movies or TV series for fear of hearing the word “nègre” being dropped in reference to a black person. In Quebec this is totally normal. I’ve felt the same discomfort being around family members who unabashedly use the n-word. It’s also interesting to notice that there is no equivalent in French to saying “the n-word,” as if we hadn’t yet figured out a way to talk about it without trying to sound racist. And as for blackface, there is no term in French to describe the act of painting your face black to portray a black person. Some will argue that it is because the concept of blackface and minstrel shows are foreign to Quebec—that it was never practiced here. However that’s clearly bullshit.

In a letter to a local paper, Boucar Diouf said he wasn’t offended by Mario Jean’s impersonation. He also argued that comedy is a means to tackle race relationships and serve as a way to break barriers. But that’s a weak defense. How is doing a literal impersonation of someone trying to push any boundaries? Since when does blackface attempt to tackle any issues related to racial discrimination in Quebec?

Intolerance in Quebec takes many forms, from racial profiling to alarmingly higher unemployment rates for ethnic communities. The unemployment rates for Quebecers is of 6.6 per cent, while that of immigrants in Quebec is of 11.1 per cent. Last year, a study conducted by the Quebec Human Rights Commission tried to explain the phenomenon by sending out fake resumes to employers, some bearing common Quebec names such as Tremblay and others bearing African names such as Traoré. The study concluded that individuals with common Quebec last names were 60 per cent more likely to get a call for a job interview than people with names of African descent.

Maybe the silver lining on this gloomy, ignorant, and racist cloud is that people in Quebec are finally talking about the pervasive cultural insensitivity in the province. Perhaps in a few years, white moms all across the province will think twice before sending out their kids to school dressed as 2 Chainz for their oral presentations. But until, then we have hilarious skits like this to look forward to.
 

Follow Steph on Twitter: @smvoyer

Would you like to read more about racism in Canada?

Africville: Canada's Secret Racist History

Canada Is Still Racist

The Totally Unnecessary DJs of E3

$
0
0

Photos by Dave Schilling & Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

I understand and appreciate the rise of EDM and DJ culture. I see how it brings people together, allows for personal expression, and gives you a great excuse to do tons of molly and "accidentally" rub up against women in a club. I get it. And yet, I do not accept that DJs belong everywhere. DJs should not be at mundane events like baby showers, Christmas-tree lightings, sentencing hearings, art-gallery openings, dog shows, rollerblading competitons, political rallies, traffic accidents, Chinese New Year, or the Super Bowl. Not everything needs to have dancing. Actually, most public gatherings are awkward, especially when the event is one in which the host is trying to sell you something. 

I went to the E3 video-game trade show this past week, and like every other convention or industry gathering in our modern era, DJs were shoehorned into the proceedings. I don't need the "bass to drop" while I'm waiting in line to see the new XBox or to use the bathroom, thank you very much. 

I decided to take a stroll around and see if anyone was actually getting down to the music the many, many E3 DJs were playing.

As you can see, our first vinyl master was totally striking out. I commend this fellow for his commitment to traditional DJ techniques. Sure, he's got his laptop, but he also "keeps it real" with the turntables. He even has the "one headphone slowly creeping off his head" look that screams, "I know what the fuck I'm doing, but also don't have the time to fix a glaring issue with my equipment." Unfortunately, he's doing it for an audience of zero. Perhaps playing loud dance music inside a giant convention center where everyone else is also playing loud dance music and no one is there to dance is a waste of time.

Hey, maybe the DJs should go outside? You know, where there's less noise? Oh, wait—there's no one here either. Perhaps he needs a little help from his friends...

Oh shit! It's Pac-Man! He's back, and now he's twerking up a storm! There's no video-game character in the world more into EDM than Pac-Man. He ingests tons of mysterious substances and is always hugging people with his weird stubby arms. In spite of Pac-Man's best efforts to seem inviting, no one came to keep him company.

There's a guy that's actually yawning. He's right in the DJ's line of sight, and he's visibly disinterested. It's not like this gentleman doesn't love to party. Anyone with that many buttons on their messenger bag strap must be a barrel of laughs. How much auditory and visual stimulus does this guy need? Get a coffee, for Christ's sake.

Even if no one is around to listen, taking an intense interest in your craft is vital. I assume that this dude is keeping a close eye on the sound levels and tweaking his playlist to perfection. Either that or he's updating his OKCupid profile.

After hours of searching, I finally found a crowd of convention-goers having a blast and feeling good vibes. If you've ever wanted to see four color-coordinated hot-steppers doing an interpretive dance to "Careless Whisper" by George Michael (and I know you do), then this was your Woodstock. There was a crowd, and they were all grinning ear to ear. There was even a kid at the bottom of the stage who is clearly high—but there wasn't a single DJ in sight.

Let's all remember that DJs don't actually do anything, and add very little entertainment value to events that aren't raves. They sometimes get paid thousands of dollars to stand around and press buttons awkwardly. At least these people were doing something interesting. They practiced for hours to look this silly, and it paid off. They look very silly. Now, I'm sure there was someone who hit the button to make "Careless Whisper" play, but guess where he or she was? In the back, out of sight. Sometimes, I don't want to party. Sometimes, I just want to watch people embarrass themselves. Is that so much to ask?

@dave_schilling

For more on gaming:

There's a Video Game Church (and It's Totally Lame)

North Korea's First Racing Video Game Is Terrible

How Awful Are the Free Porn Games on the Internet?

Nicaragua's $40 Billion Canal Would Fulfill Two Centuries of Ambition

$
0
0
Nicaragua's $40 Billion Canal Would Fulfill Two Centuries of Ambition

Is the Mexican Government Failing to Protect Journalists?

$
0
0

Anabel Hernandez is one of the most decorated journalists in Mexico, and currently reports for the weekly news magazine Proceso and the online magazine Reporte Indigo. She's been on the radar of the most powerful corrupt law enforcement officials in the country since at least 2008, when she published her first expose on Genaro Garcia Luna, the head of Mexico's equivalent of the FBI and then-president Felipe Calderone's right-hand man in the drug war. She revealed he owned lavish homes and vast amounts of property that far exceeded what could be bought with the salary of a humble public servant and followed that up, in 2010, with Los Senores del Narco, a 588-page history of the Mexican drug mafia that exposed, in exhaustive detail, the crimes of Garcia Luna and his inner circle of corrupt officials. (That book is being translated into English by Verso Press and will be available in September under the title Narcoland: The Mexican Drug Lords and Their Godfathers.) Sources in the federal police warned her soon afterward that Mexico's top cop was plotting to have her murdered and make it look like an accident. 

Anabel alerted the authorities in Mexico City, and they've been providing her and her two children with 24-hour armed protection ever since—until now, that is. On April 26, she received a letter from the government of Mexico City informing her that her armed escort would be revoked at some point in June (no date was specified in the letter). Her protection, she was told, will become the responsibility of the same federal police whose top officials she believes are the ones behind the death threats and attacks against her life, not to mention the jailing, intimidation, and in some cases even assassination of her sources.  

I recently reached her by telephone in Los Angeles, where she was on tour to promote her newest book, Mexico en Llamas: El Legado de Calderon ("Mexico in Flames: The Legacy of Felipe Calderon"), and asked her about the danger she's in and the Mexican government's total lack of effort to proctect journalists like her.

Interview has been translated from Spanish.

VICE: Could you tell me about the threats made against you because of your work?
Anabel Hernandez: In 2008 I began investigating a clique of Mexican police officers, all with more than 20 years of service, who are deeply implicated in criminal activities like kidnapping and drug trafficking. Since then, I've been targeted by this group of cops headed by Genaro Garci Luna, Luis Cardenas Palomino, and Facundo Rosas Rosas. 

The first thing they did was threaten to kill me and incarcerate those who were my sources of information. I was publishing, for example, investigations into the criminal past of Luis Cardenas Palomino, who was one of the main chiefs of police in Felipe Calderon's government. I also published stories about the homes and properties that Genaro Garcia Luna owned and how far beyond his policeman's salary they were. Plenty of people say that that money came to him from organized crime. I also published items about how federal police officers, on orders from Garcia Luna, carried out kidnappings, like in the well-known case of Fernando Marti, the [14-year-old] hostage who was murdered in 2008. The policemen who kidnapped him were very close to Garcia Luna. They worked for the federal police directly, in the anti-kidnapping unit. Only instead of preventing kidnappings, they carried them out. 

All of those investigations that I published over the course of five years made these corrupt policemen very angry. Then in 2010 I published Los Senores del Narco. In December 2010, I got a tip from police sources of mine who warned me of a plot being hatched to have me killed. One of my sources told me that he had just come from a meeting in which Garcia Luna tried assigning members of a federal police unit to carry out my assassination and faking an accident or kidnapping or robbery—they'd kill me and in exchange he was going to give them better salaries and higher posts in the government. Thanks to that tip I had enough time to protect myself—if I hadn't found out from the policeman, I certainly wouldn't be here now. I'd be just another journalist executed in Mexico. When I got that tip, I immediately brought a complaint to the National Commission on Human Rights, and the human rights commission went with me to the office of the district attorney in Mexico City, which opened a case file and quickly assigned me an armed security detail. 

I've lived with bodyguards 24 hours a day for the past two years. It's what has allowed me to keep working and remain safe.  

In January 2011, two men aimed pistols at my daughters. They threatened my family with guns—not stealing anything, mind you, because the only purpose was to terrorize them. The message became clear to me after that night. It was: we can do whatever we want, whenever we want, to whatever it is you care about the most. My family has lived under armed guard ever since that attack to protect their lives.

Over the past two years I myself have also been physically threatened. For example, at a restaurant in January 2010 I was accosted by a man wearing a hoodie. My bodyguards had to rush in and get me out of there. I managed to take a photo of the man who threatened me and chased after me, but the authorities didn't investigate it any further. 

In May of 2012 a source of mine was kidnapped and tortured by the federal authorities in order to force him to make false accusations against me. Other sources of mine have been jailed, still others have been murdered. And I get word from people who are close to Garcia Luna that he hasn't given up his plan to have me killed. I've been informed that Garcia Luna has commented to more than one person that I was his worst enemy, that he was going to get rid of me. And to be honest, it's not a fair fight. I'm just a journalist. This man is one of the most powerful men in Mexico—because he is so corrupt, because he is the leader of a group of corrupt police that has been around for 20 years. And basically I've gone beyond trying to comprehend it. I am incapable of understanding how a public servant can think that a journalist and her pen are more dangerous than all of the cartels he's supposedly combating. 

What's your opinion on the procedures that are in place to protect journalists in Mexico?
My experience with the whole process has been terrible. Now I understand why they keep killing journalists in Mexico, and why others choose to flee the country. The money spent on paying for it is money wasted. On April 26, I went to a meeting with the Secretary of the Interior and I criticized the process for its lack of commitment. [The government seems to think] that the law enforces itself, without any effort necessary from the men and women sworn to enforce it. It has become clear to me that the [Journalist Protection Program] is being used simply to put on a show for the outside world. It's a means to save face internationally. Keeping up international relations is more important than addressing freedom of expression. 

It's obvious to me that these government institutions are only good for simulating a concern for journalists' lives. But the truth is that my case put them to the test, and now I have a better understanding of what the rest of my colleagues are facing. The procedures in place for protecting journalists are nothing more than the appearance of concern, because this government—not the outgoing government of Felipe Calderon, not the incoming government of Enrique Pena Nieto—has no interest in either solving the murders of journalists or protecting them while they continue working in the country. I'm worried because they know that my life is in danger and even so they want to take away my security detail. I'm worried that the real objective is to force me to flee the country—because how convenient would it be for everyone if a journalist who asks tough questions, who won't shut her mouth, were forced to run away crying to another country instead of continuing the struggle for freedom of expression and continuing to publish in Mexico? 

I'm not leaving Mexico. If something happens to me and I become another name on the long list of murdered journalists, it won't be because of any failure of mine, but the failure of the Mexican government that refused to protect me. It's an institution, a whole government, that can't even protect its journalists—it's not that it can't, but that it doesn't want to. 

What is the extent of the security provided to you by the Journalist Protection Program? 
The bodyguards I have are from the district attorney's office in Mexico City. That is the only tangible, real, concrete benefit I've received from any ministry in the Mexican government. That's why I was requesting that they please not take them away from me, because that's the only thing that has kept me in Mexico in recent years in spite of the death threats. I've been physically targeted in the past two years, my family has been attacked, and more threats have come recently. I think the plots to harm me establish there is a clear danger in removing my police protection. That's why it's important that I keep it. As for the agency headed run the federal government, they haven't followed up on any leads. The only thing they've given me is a so-called panic button that is nothing more than a telephone number to call if someone is trying to kidnap me or shooting at me. It does nothing to aid in the pursuit of the attackers, it does nothing to protect me, and nothing to prevent the attack. The panic button's only purpose is that if I'm being attacked, killed, or kidnapped, snatched off the street like so many thousands have been in Mexico, I can call that phone number if I have the chance—though of course if [the attackers] take the phone out of my hands I won't have anything to call with. What I mean to say is that the protection program is a joke, and the whole world might as well know it. 

Why are they removing your security detail? 
I should say that I entered into the Journalist Protection Program last March at the suggestion of the Secretary of the Interior, which came after the district attorney's office in Mexico City recused itself, after two years, from the investigation into the threats and the assassination plots against my life. So my case ended up in the hands of the [federal] office of the attorney general.

I should also point out that by then I had already filed a criminal complaint against Genaro Garcia Luna as the culprit in the threats made against my family in 2011, independently of the complaint I'd brought to Mexico City authorities in 2010. When the Mexico City authorities recused themselves from my case, and the whole investigation shifted over to the federal authorities, I asked the attorney general's office to show me my file for the first time. That was how I learned firsthand that the attorney general's office hadn't lifted a finger to investigate my case in a year and a half. Nothing. They hadn't investigated a thing, hadn't interviewed a single person, hadn't even followed up on the leads that I had given them about people who had harassed me. So to enroll in the Journalist Protection Program was my only option. 

If the Mexico City authorities take away my security detail, all that the federal government has to offer me is protection from the federal police, which is stupid, illogical, and absurd in the extreme—these are the same federal police who are under the command of Garcia Luna. They're delivering my head into the hands of those that most want me dead. To me, protection from the federal police is not an option. So I'm asking for the Mexico City police to continue providing for my protection. 

The Journalist Protection Program was supposed to clear up this situation. At a meeting on April 26 attended by the Secretary of the Interior, the Mexico City government, the UN, the office of the attorney general, and the protection program itself, they vowed to continue providing for my protection, leaving only the investigation in the hands of the federal authorities. However, the protection program informed me a week ago by mail that it was going to withdraw my security detail in June, without telling me what day or time. And this in spite of the fact that the same protection program acknowledged—this was told to me over the phone by its director, Juan Carlos Gutierrez—“Anabel, your level of risk, according to our assessment, is high.”

To me it indicates one of two things: either the federal government wants me dead or wants me gone. And of course neither of those options is viable to me. 

What conclusions should we draw from your experience with the Journalist Protection Program?
I know based on what I have lived through that the federal government doesn't care about punishing those who make threats against journalists. The government has no interest in putting in prison the assassins who murder journalists. The government that allows this to happen is as guilty as whoever ends up pulling the trigger. I'm not sure I'm making myself clear: The government, if it wanted to, could lock up every murderer of every one of the 90 journalists killed in the past 12 years. The government, if it wanted to, could scare Garcia Luna, put him in jail for all the threats and for all the harm he's caused in the past five years. It doesn't do so because it doesn't want to. It prefers a dead journalist to a corrupt policeman in prison. 

More on Mexico:

Deportee Purgatory

The Warrior State

The Messenger Angels of Ciudad Juárez

The Evolution of MF Doom


Talking to the Bulldozer-Stealing Soccer Fans About Their Role in the Turkish Uprising

$
0
0


Photos by Ekin Özbiçer

I think it's safe to say that the YouTube video of a group of men wearing surgical masks and safety helmets, chasing the police and waving Turkish flags from the top of a bulldozer they've just hot-wired is one of the most enduring—and certainly most entertaining—images from what's been a grim couple of weeks of social unrest in Turkey.

The group that staged the avant-garde protest performance is called Çarşı, hardcore fans of Istanbul's Beşiktaş soccer club, "the people's club." For the most part, the members of Çarşı share an anarchist, antiracist ideology, as well as a love for what is generally considered to be Turkey's third-most prominent soccer club after Istanbul rivals Galatasaray and Fenerbahçe. On the night of June 2—the third day of an out-and-out war between police and protesters—Çarşı members hot-wired a bulldozer that had been left at the construction site outside Beşiktaş's Inönü Stadium and used it to push the police’s water-cannon trucks away from their home turf. 

“Tell everyone that we are also against the demolition of our stadium—that’s another reason why that 'dozer was snatched that night,” Ayhan Güner, Cem Yakışkan, and Kemal Ulhal, the senior members of Çarşı, tell me when I ask them why the Beşiktaş supporters decided to borrow the bulldozer. “The owner of the 'dozer turned out to be our friend, you know? He came up to us and said, ‘Brother, I see you took my bulldozer.’”


Çarşı ride their borrowed bulldozer through the streets of Istanbul.

Last Wednesday, on Miraç Kandili—one of the five Islamic holy nights—the Çarşı members organized an event in Beşiktaş's central market (and their namesake and base), Çarşı. There, they handed out Kandil bagels (a special kind of miniature bagel made for holy Kandil nights) and publicly declared that they're against violence, holding a placard above an illustration of a peace-symbol-shaped holy bagel that read, “May Allah accept our resistance.” It was a tactful move amid the government’s accusations that all protesters are “marginals, looters, extremists,”—or, in the lexicon of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and his supporters, “godless.”

While they were still refusing to talk to Turkish media, wanting to remain reclusive, I managed to speak to the Çarşı members on Skype the day after their event. I waited on my end of the webcam while the appropriate seating arrangements were made: Ayhan, Cem, and Kemal sat in the middle, surrounded by their less senior “equals” (so they wouldn’t feel left out)—an all-inclusive seating arrangement they clearly felt was imperative in order to maintain Çarşı customs.


Çarşı members handing out Kandil peace bagels.

I soon discovered that Çarşı members were well prepared for the unprecedented social uprisings. They’re already well acquainted with tear gas and a number of the police’s other oppression techniques. “We’re experienced with tear gas, you know?" they told me. "That’s why we were able to be in the front lines with our banners. We eat tear gas at least two times a week. We get tear gassed in away games, in handball games, in basketball games...”

The last clash between supporters and police was just a few weeks ago, before the last game of the season, when police tear-gassed the area surrounding Çarşi. To distance rival fans and prevent chaos around the turnstiles before games, Turkish police have taken to liberally aiming tear gas canisters in the general direction of anyone wearing a team shirt as if they were trying to kill a swarm of wasps with a can of Raid. “Pepper spray is a Beşiktaş fan’s perfume,” the Çarşı members tell me, grinning proudly.

The mischief involved in the bulldozer incident isn't particularly out of character for Çarşı, or, in fact, the rest of Beşiktaş's fans in general. Playful, witty slurs against other teams are often brandished on graffitied banners from the stands of Inönü Stadium. On one occasion before a game between Beşiktaş and Fenerbahçe, a few undercover Beşiktaş fans approached Fenerbahçe fans outside the stadium. They told them that they'd made a banner for Ariel Ortega—Fenerbahçe's star player at the time—but that they couldn’t find tickets to get into the game. So they asked the Fener fans if they could hold it up for them during the match instead, and they agreed.

Minutes before kick-off, the banner was held up in the Fenerbahçe stands, until the fans realized they were brandishing a sign that read, “Cobarde Gallina Ortega,” meaning, “Coward chicken Ortega.” The banner had political connotations, criticizing Ariel Ortega’s admission that he would fly back to his home country of Argentina if a war erupted in Turkey's neighboring countries—a fear he vocalized in February of 2003, just before allied troops invaded Iraq.

Another one of their banners, just after Michael Jackson’s death in 2009, read, “He who lived half of his life black and the other half white, great Beşiktaşlı Michael Jackson, may your soul rest in peace.” That one, in case you're not au fait with the uniforms of Turkish soccer clubs, was comparing Jackson’s two different race phases with Beşiktaş’s own black and white colors.

But beneath Çarşı's sense of humor lies a deeply romantic attachment to their beloved team, which is often expressed in poetry. One of their anthems, “We’ll see beautiful days, kids; we’ll see sunny days,” is a quote from the poet Nazım Hikmet, who spent most of his life either in prison or in exile for his political beliefs. And, they tell me, their love for Beşiktaş is based on the idea that “to love is more elegant than to be loved.”

Founded in 1982 by “Optik Başkan” (a pseudonym for Mehmet Işıklar) and Cem Yakışkan in Beşiktaş’s town center, Çarşı originates from a traditionally working-class, leftist, and social-minded group. The members I spoke to talked of Optik Başkan—a.k.a. “the Last Hooligan,” who passed away in 2007—with the utmost love and reverence. Başkan was a leftist who became a history teacher in Ankara after college, before eventually leaving his post because he couldn’t stand being so far away from his beloved Beşiktaş.

In the late 70s, when Inönü Stadium was the collective home ground for Beşiktaş, Galatasaray, and Fenerbahçe (the two latter teams were having their stadiums renovated), Optik Başkan was part of the core Beşiktaşlı group who would spend the nights around Inönü in a bid to protect the best seats—a period of overly violent musical chairs that was dubbed the "Inönü War." After the military coup in 1980, the violence intensified until the three teams decided to reach an entente. “We made a truce with the major teams in 1995," the Çarşı told me. "We haven’t had any problems since then—it’s the media that makes it look like there’s still trouble. We’ve swapped violence for humor now.”

And while on match days there's still a certain amount of belligerence in the air, people have definitely begun to associate the group with a certain level of tenderness. It's a sense of safety that manifests itself in jokes like, "Oh, there's something wrong in the neighborhood? I won't call the police, I’ll call Çarşı.”

That attitude stems from the insecurities you often encounter in people who live in dysfunctional democracies, where the rules of law don't always apply. In such cases, leadership is often sought elsewhere—and intense, protective masculinity, as is apparent in the Çarşı, can be an attractive asset. Ironically, there's a similar logic behind Erdoğan being hailed as a charismatic leader by the Muslims he's taken care of—the same citizens who were oppressed by the secularist elite in the past. But Çarşı is too self-conscious to get carried away with its citizen-appointed power, as well as the fact that their socialist-leaning beliefs would prevent them from ever acting out.

Over Skype, they told me, “For years we had an attitude: 'Çarşı is against everything.' Then we decided that Çarşı is also against itself, because we wanted to show—and prove to ourselves—that we have a strong inner democracy. We are against ourselves, too.” It's that self-effacing attitude that led to the group’s temporary dismantlement in 2008, when they felt that their growing popularity and the interest around their clashes in Çarşı were overshadowing the soccer club they love.

They claim not to subscribe to a particular political agenda, but Çarşı is undoubtedly politically-conscious. “We don’t have a political stance, we’re not affiliated with any political parties; our stance is being Beşiktaşlı," they told me. "What does it mean to be Beşiktaşlı? We protect the oppressed, the ones who need their voices heard. We support the youth, we endeavour to shift to a more modern democracy, to a stronger democracy.”

A New Yorker article in 2011 cited a headline that called the Beşiktaş stands, “the only place where the Armenian problem has been solved”—a statement referring to the stereotype that "Armenians in Turkey [two countries who don't exactly have the best history] support Beşiktaş.” I asked the members about Çarşı’s pluralist image and the fact that one of their most prominent members, Alen Markaryan, is of Armenian descent. “That is a message," they responded. "Our inner dynamics are very strong. We are the people’s team; our leftists are populists, our nationalists are populists, our Islamists are populists—you can’t find extremists in Çarşı. Our members support and protect the people and Çarşı is an umbrella under which everyone is included.”

But what does their involvement in the resistance tell us? First and foremost, this is not the first time Çarşı have voiced their opinion about an act of "urban renewal," as the plans for Gezi Park have been labelled. In 2007, they protested against the demolition of another Istanbul landmark: the Muhsin Ertugrul Theater. Then, during the 2005/2006 soccer season, they collaborated with Greenpeace to oppose the installation of a nuclear-power station in Sinop (a Turkish city near the Black Sea), taking part in demos and staging shows at Inönü Stadium. So their presence in the protests didn’t come as a surprise to many.

Their involvement at the crucial initial stage—and the involvement of fans of other soccer clubs, and from varying socio-economic groups—also confirmed that this movement strived to be the people’s movement, a more innately secular resistance asking for freedom and basic rights, free from greater political outlook. Which separates it from, say, the nationalist-secularist alliances of the past.

The group's involvement has contributed to this urban movement’s status as being a civic and democratic one, aiming to unite people from disparate backgrounds whose common interest was to protect a shared public and cultural space. (It’s worth noting that their involvement didn't begin when the police made their way down to Beşiktaş. On the first day of the protests, a handful of Beşiktaş fans walked to Taksim to save the trees in Gezi Park.)

This movement feels like a grass-roots phenomenon, impossible to reduce and confine to political bodies, making it difficult for politicians and political parties to control and make sense of. And Çarşı's unique voice in the movement is considered imperative by some. Which perhaps explains why Cem Yakışkan and another 23 of the Çarşı members who look up to him were taken into custody on Sunday morning.

They were detained by police on the grounds that they were "organizing a mob" and "committing crimes with the aim of looting." The group immediately organiszd a peaceful sit-in, told their members to use their common sense and refused to confront the police—a continuation of the nonviolent, reconciliatory attitude that they've maintained since day one. “As long as we have a strong sense of humor, we won’t cease to exist, we will prevail," the members had told me before we hung up. "This is the people’s movement; we want to have our say, we want to show how to fight without violence, how to fight back with humor.”

Follow Esra (@esragurmen) and Ekin (@eqopeqo) on Twitter, and see more of Ekin's work here.

Turkey Is Waging an Invisible War Against Its Dissidents

Watch - The Battle of Taksim Square

Watch - Istanbul Rising

A Teacher and Her Student

$
0
0


Illustrations by Denise Nestor

M

arilynne Robinson was my fourth and final workshop instructor at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. She is an intimidating intellectual presence—she once told us that to improve characterization, we should read Descartes. When I asked her to sign my copy of Gilead, she admitted she had recently become fascinated by ancient cuneiform script. But she is also generous and quick to laugh—when she offered to have us to her house for dinner, and I asked if we ought to bring food, she replied, “Or perhaps I will make some loaves and fishes appear!” Then she burst into giggles.

After receiving my MFA this May, I left Iowa believing that there’s no good way to be taught how to write, to tell a story. But there is also no denying that Marilynne has made me a better writer. Her demands are deceptively simple: to be true to human consciousness and to honor the complexities of the mind and its memory. Marilynne has said in other interviews that she doesn’t read much contemporary fiction because it would take too much of her time, but I suspect it’s also because she spends a fair amount of her mental resources on her students.

Our interview was held on one of the last days of the spring semester. The final traces of the bitter winter had disappeared, and light filled the classroom, which now felt empty with just the two of us. My two years at Iowa were over, and I selfishly wanted to stretch the interview for as long as possible. 

VICE: You recently told the class you had discovered the ending to your new novel—or so you hoped. How does that happen for you? How do you know?
Marilynne Robinson: A lot of the experience of the novel—after the beginning—is being in the novel. You set yourself with a complex problem. If it’s a good problem or one that really engages you, then your mind works on it all the time. A novel by its nature is new. The great struggle, conscious or unconscious, is to make sure that it is new. That it actually has raised issues that deserve to be dealt with in their own terms. They’re not terms that you have seen elsewhere. It’s sort of like composing music. There are options that open and options that disappear, depending on how you develop the guidelines. You think about it over time. And then something will appear, something that is the most elegant response to the question that you’ve asked yourself. And it can absorb the most in terms of the complexities that you’ve created.

It struck me when you said we must “trust the peripheral vision of our mind.” It seems like a muscle in your body that you have to develop by training some other part of you. 
One reaches for analogies. I think it’s probably a lot like meditation—which I have never practiced. But from what I understand, it is a capacity that develops itself and that people who practice it successfully have access to aspects of consciousness that they would not otherwise have. They find these large and authoritative experiences. I think that, by the same discipline of introspection, you have access to a much greater part of your awareness than you would otherwise. Things come to mind. Your mind makes selections—this deeper mind—on other terms than your front-office mind. You will remember that once, in some time, in some place, you saw a person standing alone, and their posture suggested to you an enormous narrative around them. And you never spoke to them, you don’t know them, you were never within ten feet of them. But at the same time, you discover that your mind privileges them over something like the Tour d’Eiffel. There’s a very pleasant consequence of that, which is the most ordinary experience can be the most valuable experience. If you’re philosophically attentive you don’t need to seek these things out.

In a way, it seems more difficult. Like trying to look beautiful without makeup. 
Harder in some cases than others. It is hard. Frankly, I think most people would think that if you look beautiful without makeup, you’re more truly beautiful than if you’re beautiful with makeup. Although that’s an argument in and of itself. If it were simply discipline, like learning to juggle, or something like that, that’s one thing. But it’s finding access into your life more deeply than you would otherwise. Consider this incredibly brief, incredibly strange experience that we have as this hypersensitive creature on a tiny planet in the middle of somewhere that looks a lot like nowhere. It’s assigning an appropriate value to the uniqueness of our situation and every individual situation.

How can we—your students—improve ourselves as writers?
It’s hard to talk about something like that without sounding prescriptive, but I think that there’s a reluctance in all writers in early stages of their development to really commit themselves to trust their interests as being actually focused on things that are interesting. To realize that they do not have to talk in the same dialect that is being talked around them, in terms of literary convention and all the rest of it. Something that I sometimes say, and even sometimes believe, is that there has been a loss of the cult of genius. When I was younger, I remember going around totally deluded by the idea that other people might, in fact, be geniuses or at least be able to express this in any intelligible fashion. The idea that you might do something radically brilliant—that assumption is very empowering and it has given the world a lot of really interesting things to look at. It’s a side effect of the cult of normality—the idea that it would be preposterous and perhaps undesirable to single yourself out in that way. I think that’s why a lot of stuff that basically amounts to breaking china is seen as being creative when, in fact, it’s as subservient to prevailing norms as anything else is, as obedience to them would be.

There is that whole Malcolm Gladwell thing—if you spend 10,000 hours on something, you’ll be good at it. Or good enough. 
The “good-enough” standard is not very desirable.

I wanted to ask about some of your recent students like Ayana Mathis or Paul Harding. Every year, someone in the workshop must look to you as a mentor or as a guide to an intellectual process. 
One of the good things about this program is that the students have their choice of mentors. I work for some, and I have to assume that I don’t work for others. It’s really affinity. Something that preexists in the younger writer that makes them seek out a certain kind of guidance. It was my experience when I was an undergraduate that the most valuable thing in my own preparation was very selective approval. Really truly finding out what you do well, and really truly finding out what you do badly. I try to sort of approximate that. I know that every good writer is deeply distinctive. That means that if you want them to develop as good writers, there are very practical limits on how you can try to mold them.

How were things different when you graduated college in 1966? 
It was kind of strange. I was at Brown. Pembroke was basically a residential campus. All my classes were at Brown, my degree is from Brown. Pembroke was basically, if you looked at it positively, an unusual elite training for women, which was not so available then. If you look at it negatively, it was a pretext for making sure that the ratio for women to men was very low. The other side of that was that there were a lot of incredibly bright women at Pembroke because it was difficult to be accepted. At that time, Brown, like any other university, had an overwhelmingly male faculty. There were no women writing teachers. I lived in a dormitory that was like a nunnery. These things always have two sides—people would get really angry at each other for slamming doors. It was just as quiet and serious as it could possibly be. Which suited my natural tastes, and was an excellent atmosphere to study in. There were definite advantages to all the disadvantages, which certainly don’t compensate. I was on a cusp, as you say. My teachers were all men. All my teachers were men. In writing classes, for example, I never felt as if I were dealt with on any other terms, or that any of the women were. I received what seemed to me to be authentic encouragement, excellent advice. 

While I’ve been a student here, you’ve taught Faulkner, Melville, and the Old Testament. Part of me is reluctant to ask this question, because I suspect that you don’t think along gendered lines, but I’m curious if there are female writers whom you revere in the same way?
Emily Dickinson. But it’s partially just an accident of the period in which I am immersed. Emily Dickinson is a poet of the very first order, and there’s no question about that. This is an odd thing—there were other women writers in the 19th century who were very much revered. Much more famous than Dickinson was, which is not difficult. But people like Lydia Sigourney. Never heard of her, right? She would be quoted as if she were Shakespeare. She was very important. Like many writers of that period, she was an important abolitionist. And she was utterly revered. I have several collections of her poetry, and I really don’t see what all the excitement was about. I really wish I could say she had such resonance in her time, but I can only assume that there was some music in her poetry that I can’t hear. Rufus Griswold made an anthology of American poetry, The Poets and Poetry of America. And it’s all men, although the introduction talks about early American women writers. But he made a companion anthology called The Female Poets of America. I have it. It’s not as long as the other, but it’s a big book. A lot of the poetry is written in the style of Greek tragedy, which, frankly, I don’t find readable. Most people don’t know that Rufus Griswold made that second volume, so they only have this male narrative of the poetry. The fact that he did two volumes indicates the fact that women were active as poets and recognized as poets. I wish that I could be responsive to that. But frankly, however it sorted out, the 19th-century people I am drawn to are overwhelmingly male.

What do you like so much about their writing?
I like the expansiveness of them. I like the scale at which they think. I mean, I’ve written books called Housekeeping and Home. And this is another reason I so love Emily Dickinson. You can look at things however microscopically and understand that there’s metonymy for the cosmos. But if you’re actually concerned with them in the little, that feels like horrible captivity to me. I just can’t stand it. I don’t like the novel-of-manners thing. If it doesn’t open on something larger, I get claustrophobic almost immediately.

What about the way we think now troubles you?
I think that a lot of the energies of the 19th century, that could fairly be called democratic, have really ebbed away. That can alarm me. The tectonics are always very complex. But I think there are limits to how safe a progressive society can be when its conception of the individual seems to be shrinking and shrinking. It’s very hard to respect the rights of someone you do not respect. I think that we have almost taught ourselves to have a cynical view of other people. So much of the scientism that I complain about is this reductionist notion that people are really very small and simple. That their motives, if you were truly aware of them, would not bring them any credit. That’s so ugly. And so inimical to the best of everything we’ve tried to do as a civilization and so consistent with the worst of everything we’ve ever done as a civilization.

This magazine is called VICE, so maybe we should talk about vices. Do you have any?
It’s very strange, because if I look at my life objectively it looks to me that I’ve done a good deal of work. My most consistent impression of myself is lassitude. I say to myself, “Well that’s just my deeper consciousness.” I remember once reading speculations about why creatures sleep. The one that impressed me was some scientist saying, “It keeps the organism out of trouble.” So every once in a while I sit on the couch thinking, I’m keeping my organism out of trouble. I do get myself involved in things that require a tremendous amount of work. And of course, I’m always measuring what I do against what I set out to do. My other vices—I cannot have macaroons in the house! I’m a pretty viceless creature, as these things are conventionally defined. On the other hand, one of the reasons I have taken [John] Calvin to my heart is that I can always find vices in the most unpromising places. 

What is a vice, to you?
I have no idea. Underachievement, I suppose. The idea being that you have a good thing to give and you deny it.

How do you try to be good?
I try to write well. I try to keep commitments and appointments. It’s a funny thing, you know, because my life is so absorbed in these problems I set myself, either fiction or nonfiction, that I sort of drop in on the world every now and then. To the extent that I interact with it, I try to make my interactions positive. But I realize that I’m sort of outside the fray in a lot of ways, simply by these choices, which would not be satisfactory to everybody, but come very naturally to me, and are very consistent with what I try to do as a writer. I don’t think my notion of goodness is terribly unconventional. Do no harm—that’s item number one.

This is a bit digressive, but it’s about being good: there are times in workshop when you point out a fundamental problem with a story; the story can just lose its head. We call it “the guillotine.” 
An aspect of myself I had no knowledge of!

Intellectually, it’s as if you pull the bottom out of a story and the whole thing falls away.
It’s a learning experience.

It’s very terrifying! But I like seeing that, because it makes me write the better story. And when it happens, even on a very small scale, I do think that even in this moment where you have totally dismantled someone’s premise, it is very evident that you do not judge that student for his or her failings. 
I have the profoundest respect for fiction as thought. It has to have that degree of integrity. That’s fundamental. Everything else grows out of that. I do hope that the people I teach learn to be very critical of their premises. To ask soundness of themselves. If there’s one thing in this world I’m grateful for, it’s teaching in a program that does not give grades. Because it’s absolutely ridiculous. Somebody can make a fantastically gross error one day and be completely brilliant five years later. It makes no sense at all to say that this failure matters in any absolute way or is an indication of anything beyond itself. I remember talking about the tendency that society has to expose young people to all sorts of things that are traditionally not for them to know about, and on the other hand, to treat them as if they are corrupted or cynical on the basis of knowing things that they could not help but know. It’s just bad faith. It’s completely arbitrary negative judgment. It takes no responsibility. Besides that, cultures vary so much in terms of things like that. It’s the absolute value of the human being that has to be remembered. So I think that anything that tends to be judgmental is proceeding on faulty assumptions. 

Are you ever afraid you won’t write again?
No. When I went to college, I had this idea in my mind that I was a writer, with incredibly little to document that belief. It’s always been important to my sense of myself. Of course, now that I have a certain number of books on the shelf, I can say that I am one. But there are lots of things that interest me. If I were to spend the rest of my life just reading or just thinking about what I have read, I would consider that a very satisfactory thing. 

What’s an ideal day for you?
Aha! Rare. It’s generally when I have no demands being made of me—of any kind. And then I can sit on my couch and worry over a paragraph until lunch. And then sit back down on the couch and worry about the paragraph until supper. Sometimes I like to work in my very neglected garden. In any case, that’s basically it. I usually have a book or two that I’m reading. I have a book or two that I’m writing. I like to be at home and have on my slovenly clothes. 

I like that, too, but I get a little stir-crazy and need to see people.
Yeah, you’re probably a healthier personality than I am.

But I envy that! I feel like that’s part of the success of being a writer.
It sure helps. I don’t think there’s any question about that. But there are the people who write in coffeehouses and all the rest of it. 

I’m sure not many people want to see me in my bathrobe!
The bathrobe is a wonderful institution.

I thought we could do some VICE DOs & DON’Ts, but more in your area of expertise. John Calvin: DO or DON’T?
Do! Given those choices, what else can I say?

Freud: DO or DON’T?
I believe in reading all the influential writers. Freud certainly. Read it! Just remember that he’s a strange product of a strange historical moment. Incredibly influential. 

American Transcendentalists: DO or DON’T? 
Absolutely DO!

William James?
Yep. Definite DO. 

What about him in particular?
William James is deeply in consciousness in that way I am very admiring of. And his insights are just magnificent. Over and over again. He has that geniality that you find in 19th-century writers of being brilliant and unpretentious at the same time. That whole tradition—well, it’s not simply that I admire it as a tradition, it’s that I feel as if I learned to love the experience of consciousness from those writers. And that is perhaps as valuable a gift as anybody could have given me. 

More interviews with people who write books:

Tao Lin Talks to Tyrant Re: Taipei

Living Inside The Canyons

A Chat with David Byrne About How Music Works

The Ocean Is Melting Antarctica

It’s Lavish, Bitch: The Internet's Celebrity Bashing Brat King

$
0
0

Param Sharma is just a normal 17-year-old living in California’s Bay Area. But on the internet, he’s known as Lavish—the disgustingly rich brat who goads celebrities like Rihanna and Soulja Boy into pissing matches on social media with scathing insults. He flaunts his apparent big bucks on Instagram, where he has nearly a quarter of a million followers. He’s attained internet fame by taking pics of himself doing everything from throwing away thousands of dollars by tying cash to balloons, hosting cash sweepstakes, pouring Pellegrino down the toilet, and rocking two pairs of trendy True Religions at the same time.

The media has been having a field day trying to figure out if the first-generation American is the heir to a great fortune earned by his Indian parents, or if he is just a goofball with too much time on his hands.  Some believe his mom is Shikha Sharma, CEO of Axis Bank, or Anu Sharma, a Bay Area marketing consultant. These conclusions seem laughable, especially considering Axis Bank released a official statement debunking Param's potential relation to their CEO and threatened to take legal recourse.  But whatever. I could care less if Lavish is the real deal or not. As long as he keeps pissing on celebrities like Kim Kardashian, he can be whoever he wants to be.

To get inside the mind of the kid who who has become a huge pain in the ass to smug celebutants, I gave Lavish a call. Here’s what the little twerp had to say for himself.

VICE: What’s life like for Lavish?
Lavish: I wake up, shower, make sure my nails look good, get dressed, and get a ride to school. I’m always checking stocks throughout the day, but otherwise things are normal. After school I get a massage, kick it with friends. Nothing too crazy. I shop on Saturdays.

You follow the stock market?
I started this year. In 2012 I invested heavily in Apple, since I predicted the iPhone 5 would shoot up. And it went up a couple hundred. I bought a lot of shares and I made over 300,000 in profit.

You’re almost 18. Do you have any college aspirations?
I wanted to go to Princeton, but it depends. I’m planning on shooting something off with my whole online persona. If I play my cards right, I can start my own venture based off my following. If I start earning well before summer ends and it’s looking up, I’ll skip college. Think about Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs, they just got up and left and started their own companies, look where they are now.

How’d your family come into their fortune? Oil? Banking?
They're definitely not in the oil business. I can tell you that, but we prefer to not comment on it because of their reputation.

I checked out your site, although the coding is fairly simple, you took the added precaution of registering your domain via proxy. Why is that?
It's not impressive. I’m looking to hire someone. It’s something that I whipped up quickly. Have you seen my website?

Yeah. Itslavish.com?
Good. That’s my official site.

There’s an unofficial site?
Yeah. When I was becoming popular, someone purchased the domain Itslavishbitch.com. He bought it for 25 bucks and he tried to sell an eBook by stealing my identity and handle. At first, when he bought it, he tried to sell it to me for ten grand. I didn’t take it seriously and he raised the price to $25,000.

Now the domain account is suspended. Why?
We talked to our lawyers, and since he stopped selling the eBook using my name, he’s not doing anything illegal. People were thinking I was a fake because I was selling an eBook. But I wasn’t.

Some people find it odd that you’re interacting with the so called “serfs and peasants” online rather than living your own life. Is the Lavish persona detached from reality?
Yes, I have a private Instagram under a different name that's used to keep up with my friends. That’s my main one. You might notice that there’s nobody in my pictures except me. I don’t want my girlfriend or my friends being subjected to that attention.

I can’t relate to the plight of affluence. 
I'm the most popular kid at my school. People are always pestering me to advertise them on the internet.

There are Tumblrs, Twitters, and Instagrams dedicated to “exposing Lavish.” That’s crazy.
It’s hilarious. I don’t pay attention to comments, but I’ve seen those pages. I look at them and shake my head. It’s crazy the amount of time people have to bring me down. But it feels good because it lets me know that there are people out there obsessing over me. The more they hate, the more famous I’m getting. And you’ll notice I’ll never mention the word “hater," because if I let them know I liked that, they would stop. It's like how Ray J released a song called "I Hit It First?" And did you notice how Kanye and Kim just ignored the whole situation? Celebrities shouldn't really lash out. People are more interested when they don’t say anything. It makes you look professional.

You’ve managed to get under the skin of some famous people. Can you tell me about your thing with Rihanna?
Rihanna was an exception. I only do it to people that are big and worth my time. It started with the “2 trues” picture? It’s the one of me wearing two pairs of True Religions jeans. It was a social experiment that I came up with. Me and my friends laughed at it and I posted it. Are you familiar with the Bay and the BART [Bay Area Rapid Transit]?

Yeah.
So I thought it'd be funny if I went on the BART wearing that, it led to someone getting a picture of me and the picture went viral. Four weeks later I see a picture of Rihanna wearing two jeans. When I confronted her about it she blocked me on Instagram. She blocked me and she took my style. It’s weird to know that she stole my style and when I called her out she blocked me. How I know she definitely copied me is because she put a comment up saying that I looked like a fool. So she noticed my style and then later on she called it her style. I was angry for like an hour, but I got over it.

Do you think part of your appeal lies in the fact that the people want to see wealthy people act the way you do.  
There are several reasons. As you said people find entertainment in it because it's how they think rich people behave. People feed off the crazy things I do, like pooping in sparkling water. I’m using wealth as comedy. They see these things and they find it funny since they don’t do it on an average day—like my $2,000 receipt that said “economical meal.” That’s funny to them because they think two grand is a lot of cash for a lunch. It’s nothing to me. And there’s humor in that.

You give away a lot of money, and people doubt its legitimacy. Can you shed some light as to how you choose the winners?
All the comments are fed onto my computer and I highlight all the usernames and then randomize them, then pick one. With the past winner, I went to his page, swapped contact info with him and then we went to the bank and pulled out the money. My American Express Black card has a 250,000 dollar limit.

How much cash have you given away so far?
I think we’re breaking about 100 thousand.

Many people claim that all the money is counterfeit because of similar serial numbers. What do you have to say to that?
If the money were counterfeit I assure you government agencies would have something to say about it. I don’t think most people understand this or not, but when you take out large sums of money from your bank account they're generally newly minted. You'll notice the serial numbers are ordered and are only one or two digits off from each other.

Seems a little fishy to me.
I don't know. I uploaded a YouTube video of me counting thousands in cash and every serial number was different. I was in a bank. How can I have counterfeit money in a bank?   

For being so wealthy, your taste screams middle class, minus the sports cars.  
I buy a lot of Viktor & Rolf, Hermès, and stuff like that. But it's not relatable. So,I upload stuff that peasants can associate with, like Polo and Louis Vuitton. I try to do things that serfs can relate to.

When is the jig up?
Never. I want my son to take over “Lavish.”

God help us. 

More wierdos that exist on the internet:

Shoenice22 Will Eat Anything for Fame  

The Man Behind @DadBoner

Keyboard Cat Guy

Costa Rican Drug Addicts Are Killing Turtles and Conservationists

$
0
0


Jairo Mora Sandoval, the murdered turtle conservationist. (Photo via)

At the end of last month, Costa Rica witnessed its first turtle conservationist murder. On the evening of the May 30, Jairo Mora Sandoval and four other conservationists were abducted while carrying out their checks on Moin beach near Limon, a city on the east coast of the country. While the four others were tied up and left in a house, Sandoval was beaten to death. His body was found in the early hours, allegedly with sand stuffed in his mouth—a clear message to conservationists that they should keep their mouths shut.

For years, volunteers in Costa Rica have battled against poachers to protect the endangered leatherback, green, and hawksbill turtle species as they move onto the country's beaches to lay their eggs. And despite beatings, robberies, and threats at gunpoint, the conservationists protecting the dwindling turtle population have struggled on.

Jairo had been working as a beach monitor for the Wider Caribbean Sea Turtle Conservation Network (WIDECAST). In the immediate aftermath of his death, WIDECAST suspended projects on the stretch of coast where he was killed. However, in other parts of the country the work carries on undisturbed, with many redoubling their efforts and continuing the work that Jairo gave his life to.


A nesting leatherback turtle, one of the breeds Jairo Sandoval was fighting to protect. (Photo via)

I asked Daniela Moeller, the outreach officer at WIDECAST, why poaching is such a problem in Costa Rica. “Many different kinds of poachers come to the beaches during the turtle season,” she told me. “Many of them are drug addicts and their lifestyle prevents them from being accepted in a regular job. Usually they trade turtle eggs, meat, and shells for drugs. Mostly crack. Sometimes they are so desperate that they kill a hawksbill turtle for as little as $20. It’s easy money for them—a leatherback turtle egg is worth about $1.00 [they are believed by some to have aphrodisiac properties] and a turtle lays about 80 to 100 eggs. So, if they find several nests, they can make several hundred dollars a night.”

Drug cartels are also known to operate widely in the area, using the turtle beaches to smuggle in shipments. At the beginning of last year's turtle nesting season, one group of dealers threatened Sandoval with AK-47s, demanding that he stop his patrols. Moeller told me, “Drug dealers take advantage of drug consumers—the poachers. The poachers trade eggs or meat for drugs, then the dealers sell the turtle products on the black market."

The concept of machine gun-toting drug cartels trading narcotics for turtles confused me a little—I couldn't picture any mid-level Brooklyn dealers swapping a gram for a massacred badger—so I asked Daniela where exactly the value in turtle products lies. "Hawksbill turtle is used to make jewellery or spurs for rooster fights," she explained. "Without a market for drugs or turtle products, this business would die. But as long as there are addicts and people consuming turtle eggs and meat, this commercial trade flourishes.”


Sandoval supervising at a WIDECAST event in 2010. (Photo via)

The problem in most cases is that, although poaching is illegal, the police don't consider it a serious crime. In her six and a half years in Costa Rica, Daniela says she has only seen the police visit the beaches once. Usually they simply lack the manpower or necessary vehicles to get the job done; if a call is made, the police have to clamber into a boat and sail over from another island. By the time they arrive, the poachers and the eggs are usually gone.

Daniela told me, “The main reason for not making poaching the main priority is the drug problem, according to the coast guards I have spoken to. There are a few coast guards who really are interested in helping us, but their superiors aren't supportive, so even groups that want to help are stopped from coming. It's not the individuals, it's the system that fails, because environmental crimes aren't seen as real crimes, and as long as it's like this, the situation won’t change.”

Many believe that Sandoval's murder could have been avoided with more police attention. As well as the previous threat against the murdered conservationist, there was a raid on a hatchery in Moin on the April 26, 2012. Armed men burst in during the night and tied up the people working there. Another conservationist, Vanessa Lizano, was also forced to leave her position and relocate to the capital, San Jose, after receiving threats and pictures of her son in the mail.


A Costa Rican policeman on a motorbike. (Photo via)

After these incidents, the police did begin to send men on patrol with conservationists, but since that initial period the police support has been sporadic and inconsistent. And when I attempted to contact them for information on the case, the police weren't forthcoming; I received an email all in capitals—and, weirdly, with no spaces—telling me that they wouldn’t give me any information on an ongoing case. 

By the beginning of 2013, the police support pretty much dried up altogether, despite the fact that Sandoval had posted messages on Facebook begging for armed police to not be scared, come down and help patrol the beach. Unfortunately, it was him who eventually had to pay the price for the police's lack of commitment. In the wake of his death, conservationists are hoping that the police will begin paying more attention to the problem, meaning Jairo won't have died in vain.

Regardless of police input, the conservationists have continued to patrol and monitor the beaches every night. “If a nesting turtle is found, we wait until she has dug her nest so that we can collect her eggs," Moeller told me. "We record important data, then we tag the turtle and take tissue samples and evaluate the health status. The eggs will either be relocated to a safer area of the beach and well hidden, or we take them to our hatchery, where they will be buried. The hatchery is guarded for 24 hours a day until the nests hatch.”

Despite all their work, Moeller told me, “We only manage to save around 50 percent of the turtle eggs each season. One hundred percent of hawksbill and green turtles would be killed by poachers if they came across them.”


WIDECAST volunteers at work. (Photo courtesy of WIDECAST, via)

Surprisingly, some of the poachers in areas other than Moin have agreed to a treaty of sorts, which dictates that whoever is first to a nesting turtle—the conservationists or poachers—has the rights to their nest. But, Daniela told me, that can often be more infuriating than useful: "Sometimes our people will be sprinting from one end of the beach while poachers sprint from the other. If they beat us to it, we have to accept that the turtle is theirs. It’s so frustrating when you know that they’ll just drag the turtle away and kill it, but we’re powerless to do anything about it. Sometimes there will be 25 poachers waiting on the beach.”

A $10,000 reward has been offered by conservation groups to anyone who helps bring Sandoval’s killers to justice. A week after the murder, two men were arrested with weapons on the beach where he died, but it’s still not clear whether they were linked to the killing. A memorial fund to Jairo Mora Sandoval has also been set up.

In the meantime, conservationists like Moeller are urging people to support WIDECAST and continue to help out, as their organization can only survive with the help of volunteers. They are also imploring tourists to stop supporting the turtle trade by refusing to buy any turtle shell souvenirs or eating at restaurants serving turtle meat or eggs. Whatever the outcome of their wishes, Moeller promises that they're not going anywhere and will still be there, night after night, to battle the poachers.

Follow Jack on Twitter: @JBazzler

More times humans have been horrible to animals:

Talking Animal Testing

Scientists in Wales Have Been Sewing Kittens' Eyes Shut

Conclusive Proof That There Is No God and Humans Are Essentially Evil

Fringes: Cowboy Capitalists - Part 1

$
0
0

For maverick entrepreneur Ian Cox, Africa is the last frontier of free enterprise. The former small-time hustler has been busting his ass on the continent for years, selling and moving merchandise. In 2011 he nabbed a lucrative United Nations contract to transport equipment from South Africa to South Sudan, a country on many countries' embargo list. The other problem: the journey north entails passing through countless checkpoints and dealing with bribe-happy officials and their nonsensical paperwork and regulations.

Photographer and filmmaker Tim Freccia followed around Ian and the guys he hired for this job. Cowboy Capitalists documents their attempts to navigate the continent's dangerous roads and bureaucratic chaos.

Watch our other documentary about truckers in Africa, West African Truckers.

Molly Crabapple Sent Us Sketches from Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s Pretrial Hearings at Gitmo

$
0
0

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s military commision at Guantanamo Bay is a guarded affair. It will be the trial of the century—the first attempt at bringing a high-level war-on-terror detainee and four of his accused co-conspirators to justice. There are only a handful of media permitted there at any given time during pretrial hearings that have been held on-and-off for months, and press have to sit in a tiny room separated by glass from where the hearings for the self-proclaimed "mastermind of 9/11" are being held. At any moment the sound can be cut off if classified material is presented as evidence. 

Molly Crabapple secured access and traveled down there for an upcoming issue of VICE, and she sent us these sketchbook drawings of yesterday’s pretrial hearings, which were mostly about how the defense can’t properly represent their client because they don’t have access to classified evidence that will be brought against him and that attorney-client privilege is being breached because calls between lawyers and client are recorded.

These are the only visuals of the hearings that exist other than the drawings by the official courtroom sketch artist. There's more from Molly to come. Click images to enlarge.
















More courtroom drawings from Molly Crabapple:

Lulz and Leg Irons: In the Courtroom with Weev
 


 


Noisey Canada Premiere: Gay - Chrysotile

$
0
0
Noisey Canada Premiere: Gay - Chrysotile

Move Over Poutine: Pizzaghetti Owns Quebec

$
0
0


Baby girl you're so fine.

Montreal has had like, two days of warm weather recently. The rest of 2013 has been dickered with cold and rainy weeks that have kept everybody indoors. I know what you're thinking—this is amazing. The crappy weather gives us all more time to work on our bikini bodies, to sculpt ourselves for inevitable on-the-beach Instagram photos. No filter or blurring effect can save me from my weird lumps, so I've done my part by taking up running. Those four mornings out of the entire year that I dragged myself out of bed, jogged for one minute and then walked and heaved for ten have really done my body good. I deserve a treat, one with an estimated calorie count of ten trillion. I know I shouldn’t be stuffing any sort of junk into my mouth but this is Quebec, the comfort food province. I can’t resist. Enter: pizzaghetti.

Pizzaghetti has been around here longer than I have. It's the Quebecer Calzone, the Carbohyplate. It's actually neither of those things… but I didn't lie about its prevalence. To me, pizzaghetti has always been as Québecois as poutine, the pet de soeur or the oreilles de crisse. I'm not even reaching. Pasta and pizza may be two distinctly Italian dishes, but we’re the ones who thought of serving them side-by-side, forever solidifying their place in steamie culture. By ‘we’ I likely mean the Greek owners of a Belle Province franchise, but the combo’s history seems undocumented.

Growing up, I remember visiting my maternal grandparents in Hochelaga. They raised five kids in a two-bedroom apartment. It never even occurred to me that most Italian immigrants settled in other, more prosperous areas. I took the neighborhood in. I liked it. Dépanneurs, casse-croûtes and bars with big foamy mugs painted on the windows surrounded their old duplex. But as soon as you walked through their front door, you forgot where you were. My grandfather never learned French or English. He was often dressed in suit pants and a canottiera, stained from gardening all day. Slightly more noticeable was the distinct smell. Pork legs would hang from the basement ceiling for months, eventually becoming prosciutto. Homemade cheeses and sausages tempted you. My grandparents' fresh pizza and pasta were something I didn't know I was supposed to cherish. Then they died. “Fuck, all food sucks,” I soon realized. I had to learn to cook. I had to wander the city streets and eat up everything I could. The pizzaghetti combos I’d find were admittedly never even close to being as delicious as my grandparents’ cooking but they were cheap, tasty and available enough to keep me coming back for more.

It’s become such a staple here that Kraft Dinner, the number one selling product in Canadian grocery stores, once offered an “extreme pizza” flavoured version of their macaroni. More recently, Couche-Tard dépanneurs started selling pizzaghetti slushies. When I first heard about this I shrugged and dismissed it. To my surprise the rest of the world got totally grossed out. I guess I never fully realized that pizzaghetti was limited to Quebec. I figured they at least had it throughout Canada, like the all-dressed chip. Americans, did you know there are all-dressed chips? They’re amazing.

As a general rule, the farther out you go from the centre of Montreal, the better the pizzaghetti gets. Pathetic areas have really perfected the recipe. That makes sense, as this meal is not a gourmet thing. It’s not hip. It’s not fashionable. It’s disgusting, almost guaranteed to give you a gros caca. No one has dared sprinkle foie gras over it (yet). No one has served it to Habs players at their staple St-Laurent supper clubs. I’m almost positive I ate it inside an arena once. Oh, and at these places, too:

MIAMI DELI, 3090 Rue Sherbrooke Est, Montreal
This 24h mega diner is usually crowded with elderly peeps from the many nearby old folks homes. The cooks must use steamrollers and hoses to produce enough dough and sauce to satisfy all those elderly and salivating mouths. Though service is quick, you’ll find yourself spending time gazing at the décor. Fake palm trees, sharks and crocodiles all blend together to try and nail an authentic Floridian vibe. It’s an always pleasant, always filling experience.

SALONICA, 5621 Rue St-Denis, Montreal
I’ve scarfed down countless late-night gyro poutines on Salonica’s banquettes, swatting its resident flies away, sweating out the Johnny Bootleggers I just drank. The same waitress is always there, forever complaining. It’s got an inexplicable charm that draws you in. But then you remember they put cinnamon in their tomato sauce. No.

MARCONI, 2224 Rue Beaubien Est, Montreal
Marconi does it right. Their pizzaghetti is unreasonably expensive and they don’t give you a free 2L of Pepsi with it—but every once in a while, it’s worth it. See, they don’t serve pizza with a side of spaghetti. They serve spaghetti on pizza. That’s right. Tucked below a thick, greasy fortress of melted mozzarella and all-dressed toppings rests a perfectly portioned serving of spaghetti. The slices are noticeably heavy.

RESTAURANT DE LA PLACE, 75 Boulevard St-Jean Baptiste, Châteauguay
Off the highway and in the middle of nowhere rests one of countless “Let’s just eat anywhere… Here… Stop… Let’s just eat at this fucking place” restaurants. You’re not sure what’s good so you ask the waitress and she coughs out, “Moi j’aime la peetza getzi.” Boom. Moi aussi je l’aime.
 

No matter where you are in Quebec, in some deserted farm town or piss-poor city neighborhood, everyone orders the pizzaghetti because everyone loves it. Feel free to contact me with restaurant recommendations or if you’d like more suggestions. Until then, I will be here, sitting at my computer, eating pizzaghetti attentively.



Follow Melissa on Twitter: @pizzaghetti (yes that is seriously her Twitter handle).


More on food in Montreal over here:

Montreal’s Food Truck Plan Is a Symbolic “Fuck You” to Poor People and Immigrants

Munchies: Joe Beef

Should Iranians Be Celebrating Their New President So Soon?

$
0
0


Rouhani supporters in Tehran. Image via

At 11 PM on Friday night, voting in Iran's 2013 presidential election ended. By Saturday afternoon, the result was clear: Hassan Rouhani, a 65-year-old Shia cleric and "moderate," had won by a landslide. That means nuke-loving, Holocaust-denying President Ahmadinejad, who has run the country into the ground since 2005 (and once claimed there were no gay Iranians), is finally on his way out.

To the millions of angry young voters who flooded the streets after blatant vote-rigging back in the 2009 election, it seems Rouhani was the best of a bad bunch. As soon as the result was announced, thousands partied in the streets of Tehran, mostly chanting their support for Rouhani and his “hope and prudence” platform, which promised normalization of relations with the West, the toning down of nuclear rhetoric, and controls on the hated "morality police," whose duties seemed to include beating up women for not wearing their hijabs properly.

Turnout at the polls was high. According to Iran’s Interior Ministry—who took time out from torturing students in the basement—some 72 percent of those who could vote, did. But that doesn’t mean it was a fair fight. Of the hundreds of candidates who tried to run, only eight were deemed "suitable" by the religious elite who run the show in Tehran. The vote may even have been fiddled with among them. But the support for Rouhani, especially from the Green Movement protesters of 2009, seems to have been genuine.


Hassan Rouhani. Image via

Whether anything will actually change is another matter. The country’s "supreme leader" Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is thought to call the shots on all the real issues, with the elected president doing little more than setting the tone for the debate. If Rouhani can’t fix relations with the US or convince the world that Iran isn’t hell-bent on wiping Israel off the map, then crippling EU and US sanctions will continue and a nasty situation will get worse. With Iran now backing murderous Hezbollah militants across the border in Syria, change can’t come soon enough.

Since November 2011, when a mob of Ahmadinejad’s religious zealots ripped it to shreds, the British Embassy in Tehran has been closed, and relations between the two nations are at an all-time low. Surprisingly, that didn’t stop British Iranians from voting. On Friday, just as they did in Iran, people lined up around the block at the Iranian consulate in London, ID in hand. I wanted to speak to some of those who voted (and some who didn’t bother), so I headed to West Kensington, home of London’s biggest Persian community. 


Hossein, an Iranian expat from West London.

Ali, a shopkeeper who sells Iranian produce, voted for Rouhani: “He’s very good—everyone thinks he’s good. Since the UK Embassy closed, prices have gone up and people are very unhappy—I think this will change.” Ali’s friend, Hamid, was hopeful, but said he’d seen it all before: “I voted for Rouhani, too. But at the end of the day, a mullah is a mullah—they’re basically all the same and I’ll believe in change when I see it.”

Hossein, who runs a shop down the road, was a bit more positive: “There’s not such a big difference between the candidates, but these people are under real pressure and I think there’s a change coming—you’ve got Iran propping up Hezbollah in Syria and a nuclear program that everyone else hates. It really has to end.”

Massoud, who arrived in London in 1976 and now drives a “Tehran Taxi” around the city, was much more cynical: “I’m literally shocked that people were out celebrating; this guy Rouhani is [part of the same system] that was ordering the killings of the rioters last time. In 2009, these young people were wearing green and marching against the government—now they’re out celebrating. I just don’t understand it. There’s really nothing to celebrate.”

Massoud saw the result as a success of the Ayatollah’s media manipulation machine: “Iranians are being very naive—they live in such depression and with such restrictions on every part of life that the smallest promise will give them hope. That’s what Rouhani and the government have succeeded in doing—telling people they have a choice when, really, it’s a choice between a few puppets of the regime.”


Massoud, a skeptical Iranian taxi driver. 

Asked if Rouhani might have changed, Massoud laughed: “We live in hope, but not really.” He continued, “You’ve got girls dancing in the street in Tehran without hijabs right now, and they think that, in two weeks, they’ll be able to take them off permanently. No way—it’s not going to happen. The people who are hopeful now are wrong. Why have hope? Iranians have had hope for 30 years. The Islamic system in Iran is nonsense, and all the leaders care about nothing but themselves. As long as Khamenei is in charge, Iran is in trouble. These people are murderers.” Massoud did not vote.

Whatever happens, it’s going to be a long road. With much of the mainstream media fawning over Rouhani as a “centrist,” a “moderate,” and a “bridge-builder,” it’s easy to forget that Iran is likely to remain at least partly run from the shadows by a secretive crowd of black-cloaked mullahs. As Massoud pointed out, Rouhani isn’t exactly a liberal. That said, he has promised to release activists who’ve been locked up since the 2009 protests. If that actually happens when he takes power in August, it will clearly be a good sign. Next on his to-do list will be making friends with the elite, who currently aren't his biggest fans, then gently enchanting Obama. If he can succeed at that, maybe sanctions will ease and life for ordinary Iranians will get better.

And it could have been much worse. Until last week, most pundits (including Hooshang Amirahmadi, a presidential hopeful I spoke to a couple of weeks back) were predicting a win for Saeed Jalili, the country’s chief nuclear negotiator and all-around loose cannon. For the time being, the parties in Tehran are ongoing. Whether the young, sane people of Iran—of which there are many—will keep celebrating remains to be seen.  

Follow Alex on Twitter: @alexchitty

More from Iran:

I Spoke to a Rejected Iranian Presidential Candidate

Is the Media Coaxing Us Into Accepting War with Iran?

What Are Iran Trying to Hide with Their Space Monkey?

Don't Insult the Iron Sheik, Bubba

$
0
0

The trailer for Iranian Legend: The Iron Sheik Story

If you know anything about professional wrestling, you know who the Iron Sheik is. The legendary heel started his WWF career back in the early 80s, when he was part of an anti-American tag team with Nikolai Volkoff. Hulk Hogan beat the Sheik to earn his first title, and the Iranian-born star—his real name is Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri—was a major character during pro wrestling’s golden era. In “real” life, Hossein was a talented Greco-Roman wrestler who served in the Iranian Army and worked as a bodyguard to the Shah before emigrating to the US in the late 60s and achieving the American Dream many times over.

Today, nearly 40 years after the Sheik adopted his trademark shaved head and mustache and stepped into the ring, he’s more famous than ever before, thanks to frequent appearances on The Howard Stern Show and his Twitter account, a hilarious, profane, stream-of-consciousness rant about everything from celebrities to the Sheik’s former rivals to days of the week:

The Iron Sheik doesn't personally run his Twitter account, but they're still his words.

Last month at Stones Fest LA, a concert where musicians and A-list actors perform covers of Rolling Stones songs, the Sheik held court on some couches in the back of the Fonda Theater, proudly posing for photos with both concertgoers and celebrities. I headed over—I was a child of the 80s, after all, and meeting the Iron Sheik would be like meeting the Easter bunny or Darth Vader.

I found the Sheik seated in the handicapped area (he had recently had surgery on his ankle), and he growled at me, threatening to put me in his trademark Camel Clutch hold if I didn’t join him on the couch. Even at 73, the Sheik is intimidating, and when he tells you to sit down, you sit down. We got to talking and he mentioned that he has a documentary coming out soon—if I don’t watch it, he informed me, I can go fuck myself. Fair enough.

A week later, after doing some research into the documentary being made about his life (it’s called Iranian Legend: The Iron Sheik Story and you can donate to its Indiegogo campaign here), I called him at his home in Atlanta for a slightly more formal interview. While talking to him, I felt a little like Mean Gene Okerlund circa 1985—in the back of my mind, I worried that he’d jump through the phone and choke me. Our conversation covered his whole career, from Iran to his fights with Hulk Hogan to his Twitter attacks on celebrities like Amanda Bynes. I left his distinctive syntax intact, and at his request, his responses are in all caps.

VICE: What was it like serving in the Iranian military?
THE IRON SHIEK: YOU ASK EXCELLENT QUESTION. I HAD TO GO TO THE ARMY FOR ME TO LEAVE THE IRAN. I HAVE TO LEAVE THE IRAN BECAUSE AT THE TIME THE REZA TAKHTI WAS THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF IRAN. HE WAS WRESTLER AND HE WAS MOST IMPORTANT ATHLETE, CELEBRITY, HUMAN BEING IN THE COUNTRY. PEOPLE SAY HE KILLED HIMSELF, AND IN MY RELIGION AND MY COUNTRY WE ALL KNOW THAT NOT TRUE BECAUSE IT IS AGAINST OUR RELIGION. I BELIEVE SOMEBODY IMPORTANT KILL HIM. THIS MAKE ME VERY NERVOUS BECAUSE I WAS BEHIND HIM, NUMBER TWO, AND HE TEACH ME AND HELP ME BECOME BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. SO I HAVE TO GO TO ARMY, WHICH MAKE ME PAY MY DUES SO I LEAVE THE COUNTRY. BUT BECAUSE I WAS MOST IMPORTANT ATHLETE IN THE COUNTRY AND BEST FIGHTER IN THE WORLD, THEY LET ME DO THE TRAINING FOR MY GRECO-ROMAN WRESTLING INSTEAD OF ME BEING A SOLDIER WHO KILL PEOPLE. I VERY HAPPY AND I WORK VERY HARD TO MAKE MY COUNTRY PROUD IN DIFFERENT WAY.

How did you end up as the Shah’s security guard?
I WORKING AT NATIONAL IRANIAN TELEVISION STATION. I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SHAH AND HIS WIFE IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS. I WAS THERE TO PROTECT THE SHAH AND ANYTIME ANYONE CAME NEAR HIM, I MAKE SURE NO ONE TOUCH HIM. IF ANYONE DID, I BREAK THEIR NECK. I RESPECT THE SHAH AND MAKE SURE HE PROTECTED. THEY CHOSE ME TO THIS POSITION SO I KICK THE SHIT OUT OF ANYONE WHO FUCK WITH HIM AND MAKE THEM SUFFER.

When you moved to Minnesota, how did you meet American Wrestling Association owner Verne Gagne, who was the first guy to offer you a pro-wrestling gig?
THE MR. GAGNE HEARD ABOUT THE LEGEND—HE HEARD THAT I WAS THE NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD AT THE GRECO-ROMAN. HE COME LOOK FOR ME, HE BEG THE LEGEND TO BECOME WRESTLER, HE TELL ME I PERFECT FOR THE BUSINESS. I SAY OK AND HE INVITE ME TO THE GYM AND I IMPRESS HIM BECAUSE I’M THE LEGEND AND HE WANT ME TO WORK FOR HIM.

What made you decide to change your stage name from the Great Hossein Arab to the Iron Sheik?
THE VINCE MCMAHON TELL ME I AM BEST MIDDLE EASTERN WRESTLER EVER. HE TELL ME I NEED NEW NAME TO SHOW HOW STRONG I AM LIKE THE IRON. HE WANT ME TO BECOME LIKE THE SHAH. HE CALL ME THE SHEIK. I BECOME IRON SHEIK AND EVERYBODY KNOW EVERYTHING AFTER THAT. BUBBA, DON’T INSULT ME.

What is it like when you were WWF champion? Were you worried at all about fans’ behavior because of the Iranian angle?
WRESTLING HOTTEST THING IN THE 1984, 1985. I MOST-HATED MAN IN THE AMERICA. I HAVE THE REAL, REAL HEAT WHERE THE FAN TRY TO KILL ME IN THE RING AND ON THE STREET. THE FANS BELIEVE IN THE CHARACTER. THEY BELIEVE I AM WORSE PERSON IN THE WORLD. THE SECURITY HAVE TO PUT ME IN AMBULANCE AT THE ARENA AND DRIVE ME MILES TO ANOTHER CAR BECAUSE IF I GO IN MY OWN CAR OUTSIDE BUILDING THOUSANDS OF THE PEOPLE TRY TO ATTACK THE LEGEND. I SWEAR TO THE JESUS I SO SCARED.

Why don't you like Hulk Hogan?
HULK HOGAN PUNK. HULK HOGAN NO GOOD. WHEN I WRESTLE HIM I WAS OFFERED $100,000 BY THE MR. GAGNE TO BREAK THE HULK HOGAN LEG BEFORE THE MATCH AND BRING THE BELT BACK TO THE MINNESOTA. I COULD HAVE RUINED THE BUSINESS, BUBBA. BUT BECAUSE I AM THE REAL RESPECT FOR MY BOSS, THE MR. MCMAHON, I NEVER DOUBLE-CROSS THE BOSS. HULK HOGAN SAYS “I OWE YOU ONE,” AND HE NEVER REPAY ME. I COULD HAVE RUINED HIS LIFE.

What do you think the legacy of the Iron Sheik is as a wrestler?
I AM GREATEST MIDDLE EASTERN WRESTLER IN HISTORY OF WRESTLING. I AM GREATEST HEEL, WHICH MEANS THE BAD GUY IN THE WRESTLING HISTORY. I WWE/WWF CHAMPION, TAG TEAM CHAMPION, AND HALL OF FAME. FOREVER I MAKE THE WORLD NEWS AND I LOVE MY FANS FOR THEY KNOW I AM THE REAL.

People love your Twitter account. Why do you like to rip on athletes like Mark Sanchez and Chris Bosh?
THESE PEOPLE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO TALK, TALK, TALK AND THEY ACT LIKE THEY SOLD OUT THE MADISON SQUARE GARDEN OR THEY MAKE IT TO THE HALL OF FAME. THEY NOT HALL OF FAME, SO I MAKE THEM HUMBLE. I BREAK THEIR NECK AND I PUT THEM IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH. THIS MAKE THEM KNOW THEY ARE NOT THE LEGEND. THEY ARE NOT THE IRON SHEIK. THEY ARE TWO BIG-TIME JABRONIES WHO DESERVE ME TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM.

What about public figures like Amanda Bynes and Chris Brown? Why do you hate them?
DON’T INSULT ME, BUBBA. AMANDA BYNES, SHE IS DUMB BITCH UNINTELLIGENT JEW. SHE TALK ABOUT HER ASS AND HER PUSSY LIKE SHE PROSTITUTE. I NEVER RESPECT HER AND IF I SEE HER I PUT HER IN CAMEL CLUTCH. SHE NO GOOD FOR THE YOUNG GENERATION.

THE CHRIS BROWN IS ANOTHER PUNK PIECE OF SHIT. HE BEAT UP THE GIRLFRIEND HE NEVER HAVE MY RESPECT. HE DESERVE FOR ME TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM BECAUSE HE NEVER PAY FOR HIS DUE. HE TALK LIKE HE WORLD-CLASS FIGHTER BUT HE LUCKY I DON’T SEE HIM AND I SNAP HIS NECK WITH MY LITTLE FINGER.

What do you think of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian? Do you think Kanye should ditch her?
I LOVE THE KANYE WEST, I RESPECT THE KANYE WEST, BUT HIS WIFE LOOK LIKE FAT PENGUIN. SHE EAT TOO MUCH CHEESEBURGER AND SHE HAVE NO MODERATION. HE NEED BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ALWAYS WITH HIM AND NOW SHE MOTHER OF HIS BABY SHE ONLY GOING TO EAT THE CHEESEBURGER. SHE NO GOOD, BUBBA. IF SHE DON’T LOSE THE WEIGHT, I TELL HIM TO KICK HER FAT ASS ON THE STREET AND GO BUY HER OWN CHEESEBURGER.

Which current wrestlers are you a fan of? How important is it to you that the Rock and wrestlers like him call you their hero?
I LOVE THE KURT ANGLE, I LOVE THE CM PUNK, THEY THE STUDENT OF THE BUSINESS. THEY LIVE THE BUSINESS. THEY RESPECT THE LEGEND. THE ROCK—I KNOW HIM, KNOW HIS FATHER, HIS GRANDFATHER FOR OVER 40 YEARS. THEY KNOW WHERE I COME FROM. THEY KNOW I PAY FOR MY DUE AND I NEVER TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY BECAUSE I WAS THE REAL, I WAS THE SHOOTER. IF ANYBODY FUCK WITH ME I BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM MAKE THEM HUMBLE. THEY KNOW WHO THE LEGEND IS. DON’T INSULT ME.


The Sheik with filmmakers Jian and Page Magen.

What have you been doing in your life after wrestling?
I DO WORK FOR THE TV OR MR. HOWARD STERN. MY AGENT’S MAGEN BOYS, THEY PUT ME EVERYWHERE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THE LEGEND. THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME LEGEND FOREVER.

What was it like being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame? Would you have ever expected that when you first joined the organization?
NEVER. I KNOW ABOUT HALL OF FAME IN THE AMERICA. I WORK HARD TO BECOME WORLD CHAMPION. I TRAIN ALL MY LIFE AND I WORK HARD ALL MY LIFE SO I BECOME HALL OF FAME. WHEN I BECOME HALL OF FAME I KNEW I MADE IT AND I KNEW I BECOME THE LEGEND FOREVER.

With so many wrestlers from you era having died or made fools of themselves like Hogan, how have you managed to stay popular?
I HAVE MOST INTELLIGENT JEWISH AGENTS, THEY HELP ME BECOME WORLD NEWS. I AM THE REAL. THE OTHER PEOPLE CAN’T HANDLE THE MODERATION. I PARTY HAVE FUN BUT THE OTHER WRESTLERS GOD BLESS THEM THEY CANNOT HANDLE THE A TO THE Z. THEY LOSE THE CONTROL, NOT LIKE THE LEGEND. ALL MY LIFE I AM IN THE GYM, STAY HEALTHY, AND I KNOW HOW TO PARTY AND MAKE THE WORLD NEWS.

Why do people love the Legend so much?
BUBBA, I WORK HARD, I SPEAK MY MIND, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK, I AM HALL OF FAME. I WORK OVER 50 YEARS IN THE SHOW BUSINESS AND I CAN TELL WHOEVER I WANT TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES BECAUSE I MAKE IT AND ANYBODY WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW THEY ARE WORLD CLASS I LET THEM KNOW IF THEY ARE OR THEY ARE NOT.

What was your favorite wrestler to feud with?
ME AND THE SGT. SLAUGHTER WERE HOTTEST THING IN THE BUSINESS. IRAN VS. THE USA. EVERYBODY PAY TO SEE HIM BEAT ME BUT EVERYBODY KNOW I BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM AND THE PEOPLE WENT CRAZY.

What does the Iron Sheik do for fun?
I LOVE THE TWITTER, I LOVE MAKING MY FANS HAPPY, I LOVE SEEING MY FANS, AND I LOVE TO WORK ON THE COMEDY BUBBA.

Tell me about the documentary. Why is the time right for you to put out the story of your life?
MY DOCUMENTARY I HOPE AND I PRAY BECOME BEST ABOUT MY LIFE. I’M A LEGEND. I WORK AROUND THE WORLD 50 YEARS AND I DO EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE TO BECOME THE LEGEND. GOLD MEDAL, SHAH OF IRAN BODYGUARD, AAU CHAMPION, WWE/WWF CHAMPION, HALL OF FAME, MR. HOWARD STERN RADIO CHAMPION. EVERYBODY KNOW IRON SHEIK PERFORMER, BUT THEY DON’T KNOW THE REAL IRON SHEIK. THEY DON’T KNOW HOW I BECOME THE LEGEND, WHY I COME TO THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, THE AMERICA, WHY I WORK SO HARD, AND ALL THE STORIES IN MY LIFE THAT EVERYBODY WANT TO KNOW. I NOW SHOW YOU. I VERY PROUD, BUT I ALSO LOVE MY FANS TO HELP ME AND SUPPORT ME BECOME IRANIAN-AMERICAN LEGEND FOREVER.

What do you want people to remember the Iron Sheik as?
BEST IN THE WORLD. BEST PERFORMER, REAL MAN, REAL SPEAK MY MIND, REAL LEGEND WHO NOBODY EVER FUCK WITH BECAUSE IF THEY DID THEY KNOW I BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM.

You can donate to make the Iron Sheik documentary a reality here.

Daniel Kohn once waited in line to meet the Ultimate Warrior with his dad and brother. After they spent two hours in the rain, the Warrior left, proving himself to be the Ultimate Dick. @danielkohn

More interviews:

Alexis Neiers’s Pretty Wild Road to Recovery

Joe Francis Is Not the King of Spring Break

Snoop Through the Ages

A Few Impressions: 'Man of Steel': The Super Movie

$
0
0


Image by Courtney Nicholas

Last week I was asked to attend the London premiere of Man of Steel, so after working on my forthcoming little thriller at Pinewood studios, I went over to Leicester Square to see the latest filmic take on the superhero.

Many things went through my head, both subjective and objective, or rather as a person on the inside of the film business and as an indiscriminate viewer of the film. I too have been in comic-book films—the Spider-Man trilogy directed by Sam Raimi. I mention the director because this distinction is now necessary in the wake of the new Spider-Man series that arose even before there was time to bury the corpse of the old one and enshroud it in the haze of nostalgia. Indeed there are still young children who approach me as fans of the original (boy, it seems weird to say that) series. I don’t have a huge emotional attachment to the Spider-Man franchise as a subject, my biggest sentimental ties are to the people I worked with on those films: Sam, Toby, Kirsten, the late and great Laura Ziskin, and the hundreds of others who worked with us. I don’t really feel much distress over its being remade, for many reasons, but what is interesting to me is that it has been remade so quickly—and the reasons why.

The answer is, of course, money. We are in the film business, and the studios are owned by large corporations who want to make money. And in this art form, where so much is spent and so much profit can be made, one criterion for success is inevitably the financial. And when movies become so big that they can make $200 million in one weekend like The Avengers did, everyone from studios to filmmakers are going to want to get in on making comic-book movies. And when great directors like Sam Raimi and Christopher Nolan show that equally great characters can live within special-effects-laden films, then the comic-book genre becomes legitimized and great actors will follow. But the biggest reason, we cannot forget, is money. For all involved, it’s about being able to work with the biggest toys and the best people, because the product can support paying for them. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If you want to make a movie about a man who can fly and tear spaceships in half with his hands, then you need lots of money to make it look good. Otherwise you might as well keep the story in the comic books, where it costs much less to make superhuman feats look cool.

I was also at Leicester Square earlier this year for the premiere of my film Oz, when the red carpet was a yellow brick road, but the night I saw the new Superman, I arrived incognito: 1) because it wasn’t my film, and 2) because I don’t think Henry Cavill would have wanted to see me there. Not that we’re enemies. Years ago we worked on a film together called Tristan and Isolde. I played Tristan and he played my backstabbing sidekick. My hunch is that he didn’t like me very much. I don’t know this for certain, but I know that I wouldn’t have liked myself back then because I was a difficult young actor who took himself too seriously.

What Henry took seriously back then was Superman. He wanted to be Superman more than anything in the world. Personally, I’m not sure why. I missed the whole Superman-film phenomenon. I was more a fan of director Richard Donner’s Goonies and Lethal Weapon. I can understand the appeal the original Superman comics had for the WWII generation and its need for a hero to rid the world of evil, but in my days as a young man, this appeal was long outstripped by the cheesiness of the character’s suit and his douchey invincibility. But Henry was dying to do the Bryan Singer version of Superman that was being put together as we were shooting Tristan in Ireland and the Czech Republic in 2005. Henry was in the running but, in the end, he was passed over for Brandon Routh.

The night of the premiere I saw Henry from afar on the red carpet and knew this was the moment his whole life had been building toward. His dream had come true, and I was happy for him. It was the role he would have killed to do, with the right director (Zack Snyder: 300, Watchmen) and the right producer (Chris Nolan: The Dark Knight)—people who would keep the story and the characters focused, grounded by Chris’s regular team of David S. Goyer and Emma Thomas. If anything this was a project that must have made the people who made it very happy.

So, what did we watch? A great film. But what makes me say this? Is it the nerd revolution that has brought our public taste to the point where comic-book characters and video games are now cool? Are these huge comic-book films the way for the world at large to embrace the subjects of these forms that are traditionally relegated to the nerd niche? Yes, in a way. But in another way, we are just wowed by the money that brings them to fruition. Kids like comic-book-style heroes, teens like flashy action and sex, and therefore these films make money. Adults—the third audience—respect money. So these films are made. Again and again. And if Brandon Routh doesn’t work as Superman, or if Sam Raimi can’t agree on the villain for a fourth Spider-Man, they will just make new versions without them. Man of Steel is great because it delivers everything it should. It made Superman cool again. It delivered great action and interesting characters with a plot that was grounded enough to make us care a little.

In addition, to be fair, movies are fighting for their lives. With all the great television that is increasingly monopolizing good drama, and the video games that allow people to actively engage rather than sit back as passive viewers, movies need to offer something that these other forms can’t: big effects, 3D, and money, money, money.

But, in the end, why did I really walk away liking it? It wasn’t because of the film’s message. Maybe I sound naïve going to a film like this for a message, but images and themes are being thrown at me in 3D, so I want to know what I’m swallowing. One of the main reasons I liked it was because in this film, Superman’s S symbol stands for “hope” on the planet Krypton. Viewers discover that Superman is the symbol of hope for his dead race and simultaneously the symbol of hope for the human race. He hides his powers for the first 30 years of his life on Earth because his adopted father (Kevin Costner) believes that humans won’t be ready for him. In this way Superman is presented as a kind of Christ figure, given to Earth to save humanity. (A parallel that has been made many times before, I’m sure. Jesus Christ Superstar, anyone?) But sadly this Christ doesn’t teach any fishermen how to fish. He just does all the heavy lifting himself. If we are supposed to have hope in anything, it’s hope that Superman keeps fighting for good. If he doesn’t, we have no way of stopping him.

I guess that sounds a bit like the movie itself. We love these movies because they’re so big, and damn, they’re all that we have. They aren’t going away, so we just have to keep hoping that they are, at the very least, well made. 

Follow James on Twitter: @JamesFrancoTV

Previously - The Parallel Structure in 'Strangers on a Train'

For more film stuff on VICE:

I'm Short, Not Stupid Presents: 'The Rambler'

The VICE Podcast Show - Greta Gerwig

Terrence Malick’s Crisis of Faith

Viewing all 38002 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images