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What Your Choice of Tallcan Says About You

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Ah, there it is again: that craving. It's Saturday night and early enough in the month that you haven’t yet had to extend your overdraft to buy a loaf of bread, and there’s some house party or warehouse rave or something, pulsing away, pmf pmf pmf, and you need it. Your body needs it. A big blue bag. Of mother-fucking cans.

This party or whatever promises free entry and til-the-morning-light longevity, so you’re going to need several of these bags. The options are: you’ve got about five minutes to leg it to the Big Sainsbury's, half-pissed already, and purchase your beverages; or you can face the inevitable 45-minute round trip to the nearest off-license in the pouring rain instead. Either way, there’s just so much choice isn’t there. Do you go Polish or Belgian? Pale ale or pilsner? Or... how about a little pre-mixed gin situation?

Not to stress you out, but you don’t actually know that many people at this party, and your choice of beer consequently serves as an essential signifier of what kind of person you are. The tallcan decides whether you make friends here, or enemies, lovers or fighters. So – who are you?

This is who you are:

Red Stripe

Topshop puffa 'n' scrunchie. Pink Air Max 95s. Pretends to like PC Music. Currently selling some old Urban Outfitters stuff on Depop to buy a Lovebox ticket. Has, at some point, handed over a crisp five pound note for one solitary can of Red Stripe Jamaican Lager at some sort of "street food pop-up" in east London, and knows deep down that this is a terrible, shameful thing to have done.

Fosters / Carling / Carlsberg

You are a grown adult male who owns a full 2017-18 West Ham kit, including fucking socks, and you haven’t missed a Premier League home match since 2012.

Carlsberg Export

You’re a student and your loan just came through.

Kronenbourg

Maximum ABV:£ ratio here. An extremely practical lager beer. You probably go hiking or something. Maybe you can do basic mechanics.

Strongbow

What you doing this weekend, Strongbow Drinker? Ah, yes, you’re going to see your friend’s punk band in Camden, which is what you’ve done every weekend since Year 10, when your mum finally decided you were old enough to get the Megabus to London on your own. Tattoo of a bluebird (Camden Town, 2010) and a septum piercing.

Strongbow Dark Fruit

The lead singer of a punk band, and you’re actually doing a gig at The World’s End this weekend so you reckon you’ll be signed within a few months for sure. You work in a guitar shop but you also do some stick and poke tattooing on the side, and all your friends are a solid decade younger than you.

Tyskie / Lech / Zywiec / Holsten Pils

It’s 3.30AM and you’ve already got through… was it, nine cans? Well, shit. Time to head to the nearest offie, and then the second-nearest offie when that one turns out to be closed. It’s 4:5AM before you finally manage to grab seven assorted cans of Polish lager beer, and 4:25AM when you’re finally done counting out huge handfuls of change at the till – one eye closed so you can actually focus – to a very tired, very patient old man in a big fleece and slippers, who counts it out again, correctly this time, and lets you off the missing 22p. By the time you get back there are only five people left at the party, and one of them is fully asleep face down on the living room floor. You’re getting strong "please leave my house now" vibes from the only host still awake. At least you’ve got some tinnies for the night bus, I guess.

K Cider

An extremely "last person standing on Sunday afternoon at a squat rave" choice. Very "I bought all my clothes at Boomtown Fair". Strong "I didn’t wash my hair for two months so that it would start self-cleaning" vibes. Staunch defender of white person dreadlocks. Theory: the "K" stands for "ketamine".

Guinness

In a tallcan? Um, ok then.


VICE's beer company, Old Blue Last, is throwing a week of free events in Manchester from the 16th to the 19th of April. Get your tickets here.


Tuborg

The only time I have ever actually seen anyone purchase Tuborg is at Leeds Festival in 2011, and as such I can only assume that if you drink Tuborg you’re a Scouse teenager who idolises Liam Gallagher and will gleefully burn down your own tent on Sunday evening by throwing hot coals at it from a neighbouring group’s bonfire.

Tennent’s

You still have a "Yes" sticker in the window of your flat in Glasgow.

Supermarket-Sold Craft Beer – (Punk IPA / Beavertown Gamma Ray kind of vibe)

Will only relinquish control over the AUX lead once you’ve had the chance to enthusiastically sing along to the following songs in their entirety:
– "Monster", Kanye West
– "My Number", Foals
– "Sweatpants", Childish Gambino
– "Retrograde", James Blake

American Craft (Blue Moon / Brooklyn Lager / Pabst Blue Ribbon)

You are a white man who listens to a lot of Mac Demarco and thinks that smoking rollies, owning (but not actually reading) a copy of Infinite Jest and having an anxiety disorder is an adequate substitute for any sort of personality whatsoever.

A non-supermarket craft situation

You, an intellectual, have got a subscription to a craft club where they send you six new beers to try each month. You wouldn’t go back to drinking commercially brewed lager now. It’s just a more pleasurable experience. You don’t just drink to get drunk anymore. But hey, the joke’s on you for blowing £38 on six very small cans of extremely dark, bitter ale that you now realise each feel like eating a very rich and hearty meal. Good luck with that hangover poo.

Pre-mixed Gordon’s Gin and Tonic

You’re going to post a Boomerang of some avocado toast on your Instagram story tomorrow morning with the caption "CURE ME".

Pre-mixed Gordon’s Gin and Diet Tonic

If you’re honest with yourself, you haven’t genuinely enjoyed drinking since that fateful day in 2013 when your new personal trainer told you how many calories were in a glass of red wine and ruined your life forever. You’ve bought two little cans of Gordon’s and Diet Schweppes (despite the fact that it’s 3 for £5) and will leave the party at exactly midnight so you can make it to pilates in the morning.

Bonus round: Bottles

Corona / Desperados

You own a novelty apron for barbecuing things in.

Peroni

It’s 5.30PM on a Friday and you’re penned into the outdoor bit of a central London chain-pub with Will, Charlie, Oscar and the rest of the work boys, all of you wearing the the same brand of ultralight gilet in slightly varying shades of blue. The tie has come off and the New Balance fresh foams are on. What’ll you have, mate? Peroni please, mate.

Tiger / Cobra

You’ve gone for a curry with the lads, an ostensibly fun activity, ruined by the fact you got a bit overexcited and ordered a fucking vindaloo for a dare, which you now have to finish in its entirety for fear of the unrelenting and merciless punishment you will receive in the group chat otherwise. Deep breaths, mate. Don’t cry. Wash it down with a nice cold bottle of Cobra.

660ml Big Boys

Just buy a four-pack. Way cheaper.

@RosieHew

Old Blue Last beer is hosting a week of free events in Manchester from the 16th to 19th of April. Get your tickets here.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.


14 People Killed After Bus Carrying Humboldt Broncos Hockey Team Hit By Truck

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Fourteen people have been killed after a bus carrying a junior hockey team to a playoff game collided with a tractor trailer.

The bus was carrying the Humboldt Broncos and was about 300 kilometers north of Regina when it happened. Fourteen people, including the driver, were killed, while another fourteen were rushed to hospital—three are in critical condition.

The Broncos were on their way to Nipawin for their fifth game in a semi-final playoff series between the small Saskatchewan community and Humboldt. Humboldt itself is located about an hour east of Saskatoon. The teams play in the Saskatchewan Junior hockey league which is eligible for North American-born players between the age of 16 and 20.

The president of the Nipawin team told the Globe and Mail that the accident occured when a semi-trailer T-boned the bus.

“Our thoughts and prayers are extended to the families of our staff and athletes as well as to all who have been impacted by this horrible tragedy,” said the president of the Humboldt Broncos organization, Kevin Garinger in a statement. “Our Broncos family is in shock as we try to come to grips with our incredible loss.”

Garinger told the Globe and Mail that the team still doesn’t know who on the team was killed in the accident and said that parents of the players are rushing to Saskatchewan from all over Canada.

Justin Trudeau sent out a tweet offering his condolences to the community late Friday night, writing, “I cannot imagine what these parents are going through, and my heart goes out to everyone affected by this terrible tragedy, in the Humboldt community and beyond.” Saskatchewan Premier, Scott Moe, wrote on Facebook, saying “to the City of Humboldt, the entire Broncos organization, and the families impacted by this tragedy, please know you are in Saskatchewan's hearts."

The crash has brought back memories of a similar accident from the 80s in which a bus carrying the Swift Current Broncos crashed in 1986, killing four.

A Go Fund Me campaign has raised $75,000 for the team and their families in the last twelve hours.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter

A Very High Percentage of Young People Aren't Sure the World Is Round

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This week, the online pollster YouGov released a survey of 8,215 American adults who were asked if they believe the Earth is flat, a ridiculous and obviously false conspiracy that has become a weirdly durable movement in the past couple years. YouGov found that 84 percent of respondents "always believed the world is round," 5 percent used to be sure the world was round but have begun to doubt it, 2 percent used to be sure the world was flat but now have doubts, and 7 percent clicked the "other/not sure" box.

More alarmingly, only 66 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds always knew the world was round, a hell of a statistic to contemplate when thinking about the future of the planet, whatever shape you imagine it is.

In one sense, this wasn't surprising—surveys that ask basic questions are always coming up with facepalm-y results, like the one from last year that found that 7 percent of US adults thought chocolate milk comes from brown cows or the 2012 poll that found that a quarter of Americans thought the sun goes around the Earth. But I mean, come on. Maybe people got nervous taking the poll and flubbed a response, maybe they were goofing around or trolling, maybe they started having doubts about the shape of the Earth or chocolate milk precisely because a pollster was asking about it. In the case of the YouGov survey, who knows why so many people clicked "other/not sure"?

It's worth noting, too, that there were a lot of lousy headlines about this survey that asserted that "A Third Of Millennials Aren’t Sure The Earth Is Round" or "Only Two-Thirds Of American Millennials Believe The Earth Is Round." Millennial no longer means "young person," for one thing (shoutout to my fellow old millennials), and for another, a whopping 16 percent of that young cohort clicked "other/not sure," meaning who knows what they thought? (Only 4 percent of under-25s have always believed the world is flat, a percentage that surely includes some trolls.)


That doesn't change the fact that flat Earthers are somehow real people. Rapper B.o.B. made the theory popular. People are shooting themselves out of homemade rockets to "prove it." Even Kyrie Irving, a basketball star with the resources to hire an expert on the topic, apparently buys into the theory. What the hell is up with that?

Believing the Earth is round means relying on sources. Most people haven't sailed around the world like Magellan or looked upon it from space or sorted out the relevant math involved in tides, gravity, and so on. The Earth's roundness is something we feel we know because we're confident that every reputable expert from the ancient Romans onward can't possibly be wrong. The thing is, confidence in experts is eroding—people don't trust institutions or experts as much as they used to, and they really don't trust the media. At the same time, some internet algorithms, like YouTube's "related videos," seem to point people to information that is more extreme and potentially less reliable.

Just as an experiment, just now I googled "is the Earth round" on Chrome's Incognito mode and clicked on the first video that came up—an explainer from popular YouTube channel Vsauce that shows that yup, the Earth is round. But it took me only two quick clicks on the right rail to end up at "Worlds Beyond The South Pole (Hidden Lands?)," a low-quality, almost nonsensical 21-minute video that nevertheless has more than 200,000 views; the channel that posted it, apparently run by some guy named "Jayson," has 10,000 subscribers and loads of that sort of video. How many of those sorts of things do you have to watch to flip from "always believed the world is round," to "not sure/other"? How many people have gone down that particular rabbit hole? And how the heck do we pull them back up from it?

Correction: An earlier version of this article said that a poll found a quarter of Americans thought the Earth orbited the sun when in fact it was the other way around.

Follow Harry Cheadle on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.

The Death of Stephanie Yellowhair and the Resilience of the Queer Spirit

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An iconic queer hero has died.

Some time around the turn of the millennium, Stephanie Yellowhair, a Native American trans woman, was arrested while being filmed for the TV show, Cops.

Despite the indignities Yellowhair faced during her arrest, she never wavered in her self confidence, throwing out a host of quotable one liners, including "excuse my beauty" (which can be seen at 5:10 in the video below).

In the years since, “excuse my beauty” has gone viral. The video of her arrest has been viewed and GIF’d hundreds of thousands of times, RuPaul has used the phrase, a Drag Race contestant released a single named after it, and it inspired a scene in Reno 911.

On March 30, Stephanie Yellowhair died. She was 41.

Yellowhair grew up on the Navajo Nation Reservation in Arizona in a time when trans and genderqueer politics weren’t at the forefront of our political awareness. Her refusal to back down, to be anything other than who she was, helped turn her into a defiant role model for many still trying to understand who they were and what it means to be different.

My friend Karla works as a barista in a cafe in Hollywood. We often talk about queer identity and politics.

“Growing up Filipino and queer was hard enough, but being a genderqueer cisgendered male who identifies as female made me feel alienated and isolated from my family and community,” she told me. “When the Excuse My beauty memes came out, suddenly I was like, there’s someone like me, someone who doesn’t look like everyone else, someone who doesn’t fit the mold of the blond, blue-eyed beauty queen, but someone beautiful and glamorous because she didn’t care. She was like fuck you, this is who I am. And you are going to accept me for who I am whether you want to or not.”

“For kids like me she was a hero. I hope she knew that,” she added.

Watching the Cops video can be unsettling. The officer who arrested Yellowhair was, to put it mildly, a dick about it. He referred to her as a crossdresser, called her “man,” refused to let her shield her face from the sun, and made fun of her clothes and makeup.

It’s hard to tell if the video went viral because people were celebrating her or making fun of her. But what is clear is that, for kids like Karla, for those of us growing up queer and feeling like freaks, she was a hero. She was someone to celebrate.

Yellowhair proved herself to be resilient and strong, transcending any attempt to make fun of her, rising above the petty discrimination she faced, demanding that we acknowledge her for who she was: someone beautiful and strong.

“My Uncle Sugar was one of the most unique and inspiring influences in my life,” Chanel Yellowhair, Stephanie’s niece, told me.

Chanel said Stephanie was aware that maybe some people were making fun of her, but she didn’t care. “It meant a lot to her to know that maybe she helped to empower people who were in the same situation she was in,” she said. “She refused to back down, turning all the negatives that happened to her into something positive. She wanted her life experiences to help others. She was fearless and helped so many others give the middle finger to the world. [She showed them that] it was okay to just be who you were. To do you.”

Chanel remembers Stephanie as a strong and vibrant personality in the lives of those around her, always reminding them that they were beautiful and loved, always making sure to treat each of her friends and family members, as well as her fans, as something special and worthy of respect, regardless of who they were or how they lived their lives.

“I marveled at how strong she was," she said. "She was a woman stuck in a time dealing with something so new and so foreign. Especially on the reservation. The last time I saw her she was fabulous and as happy as could be. Her bright red tube top and black skirt in all her glory. She came to give me a hug and tell me I was beautiful. I will deeply miss her and her non-judgmental and unconditional love. She was an amazing person and a bright soul. A true Navajo queen.”


Strength like that is something to be admired. In a time when our own president is telling the trans community they aren’t worthy of serving their country, when comedians still think being trans is something to be made fun of, where people are being denied access to proper health care and services based on their gender identity, and the very bathrooms they use have become politicized, there is hope in Stephanie’s refusal to be told who she was was a joke, something not worthy.

Humor has a long history in the queer world as a way to deflect those who would say we are flawed or in someway unnatural. Through drag, dance, movies, and music, queer artists have always stood proud, refusing to back down, using sass and wit to undermine those who would degrade our existence.

We can all learn something from those words, made in protest against discrimination and harassment. “Excuse my beauty!” is a challenge to anyone who says that who we are and how we love, the gender we identify as, our race and our very identity, is somehow flawed.

As Stephanie Yellowhair herself said to her fans on her Facebook fan page, “I make Hollywood everywhere, daulins. My love is with you all!!!”

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Follow Jeff Leavell on Instagram.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.

The Old Man and the Screen

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Here he comes, from the back of the theater, Al Pacino, swerving down the aisle, grinning and ricocheting from one set of rows into another with the delicious glee of a young boy who’s stolen the car keys, kissing people in the audience as he heads toward the screen, shirt unbuttoned to mid-chest, skin tan like espresso foam, body engulfed by a heavy coat and a scarf that looks softer than Kleenex.

Pacino is an old man and we know this by his posture, by the occasional slow-churn froth of his enunciation, by the half-century of movies that seem to exist somewhere on basic cable, permanently, like a constellation. But here, approaching midnight, with needy friends in the lobby and A Schedule and Commitments, he is still skidding around with what you could describe as a fucking appetite for these sort of moments.

It is a Wednesday night in late March, at the Quad Cinema on West 13th street. It’s almost 10:30 by the time Pacino is introduced. He is here for a de-facto ribbon-cutting for the first proper release of two films he is in: Salome, based on a one-act Oscar Wilde play about the way lust can set fire to logic and decency, and a documentary, Wilde Salome, which Pacino also directed, about his years-long, stop-and-go assembly of Wilde’s play for the screen and stage. Pacino plays King Herod, whom he portrays with a blubbering, infantile petulance. Herod spends the play slouching in a throne and howling for more wine, pleading with his stepdaughter (played by Jessica Chastain) to take her clothes off. Chastain is mesmerizing; Pacino is too, but in a way like a magic eye poster, a mess to behold until, after 85 minutes, things begin to take shape.

The premiere concluded a two-week retrospective of Pacino’s career at the small Greenwich Village theater, which featured all the hits and a couple pockmarked films lost in the no-man’s land between when he got sober in 1977 and a four-year hiatus in the late 80s. This Sunday, HBO also premieres Paterno, which stars Pacino as khaki’d football coach and legendary geezer Joe Paterno, a man who, until the scandal he died inside of, seemed to exist somewhere between obliviousness and the tranquilizing indifference of old-age. If it’s felt at times like this is a phase Pacino has entered himself, well, that’s sort of the idea, and Pacino is in on it.

Paterno centers around the two-week period before and after allegations were made that Jerry Sandusky, Paterno’s former defensive coordinator at Penn State, had for years been abusing young boys, many of them on the football team’s facilities. The film mostly avoids Sandusky himself as a character, and focuses instead on Paterno swirling the drain (he died of lung cancer just two months after being fired by the university). In the trailer, he’s played like a man who depended on football like it were a bodily function, a clearing of the throat, and the dopey selfishness of a pursuit that narrow at the cost of everything else.

Al Pacino in 'Scarface.' Photo via Getty

Paterno originally had Scarface director Brian De Palma attached to it, and it’s easy to see him making a film where Paterno is a big inflated parade float imbecile to poke pin holes in. Instead, Barry Levinson lets Pacino grumble and sigh; the question of complicity seems less of a focus than what happens when your time is up, and now you have to go away.

In the Q&A following a screening of the two Salome films, Pacino spoke for an hour, mostly about the lure of theater. There is, you realize, little else for him to reveal about his films; every butterfly wing of his mythology has already been pressed neatly between glass slides and examined. The roles he turned down (Han Solo), the bit about how no one at Paramount wanted him for Michael Corelone except Francis Ford Coppola. Or how he based the .gif-able cartoon lunacy of his character in Heat, detective Vincent Hanna, on scenes from earlier drafts of the script, not present in the final cut, in which Hanna is shown doing cocaine.

But something happens, the way he answers every question, the vivid intimacy with which he recalls the pocket lint details of his career, how he describes the sway of the audience response from one night’s performance of “Richard III” to another, 30 years later, like it’s a thing he can run his fingertips over. Or how once, he became so fixated on a review of a performance that described him as “prowling the stage like a panther,” that in the middle of an early scene at the next day’s show he realized that he had been standing almost catatonically still the entire play.

The work, the immersion, this was Pacino’s true love. Pacino has had many relationships; none of them ever really took. His obsession instead was this thing he did, the grenade pin he pulled on a full range of human torment and delusions.

In Diane Keaton’s second memoir, published in 2014, she wrote of Pacino, with whom she had a relationship through the 70s and 80s, “His face, his nose, and what about those eyes? I kept trying to figure out what I could do to make them mine. They never were. . . . For the next twenty years I kept losing a man I never had.”

When he was interviewed by Playboy in 1977, Pacino was 37 and had already been nominated for four Academy Awards. His attractiveness was described by actresses and girlfriends with an enraptured awe typically reserved for comets and Renaissance cathedral ceilings. But this was not a man of extravagance even then, when he was getting paid $1 million for some roles, when women he’d never met recognized him from across the street. Journalist Lawrence Grobel said his apartment at the time “consists of a small kitchen with worn appliances whose toilet is always running.” Pacino lit his cigarettes on the stove and ate celery and lettuce leaves for dinner. Almost 30 years later, in a New Yorker profile, his house in California was described as having an “absence of texture” and “remarkable for its indifference to externals: no paintings, no designer furniture.”

Most of his characters have been maniacal obsessives. During the Q&A, he said, “I require tremendous amount of rehearsals. It’s my nature.” You see that discipline in Frank Serpico, camping out on subway platforms for hours in the clothing of a vagrant, then later, at the dinner table, “If I could work alone— That's the thing, see?” As Michael Corleone, resisting all temptation besides cigarettes—not even banana daiquiris—and scrubbing rivals from his life like mildew. In Heat, as a detective whose obsession with chasing lowlifes has turned his face into old luggage. There is a near-invisible line between obsession and addiction, and Pacino tap-dances on it.

Al Pacino in the 'Godfather.' Photo via Getty

Pacino had been drinking hard liquor since he was 13 years old. He was hungover when he auditioned for the Godfather. After a binge one night in London some time later, he tried to back out of Dog Day Afternoon after initially agreeing to it, before producer Marty Bregman convinced him to sober up long enough to read the script. Pacino did, for three days, then he read it, and then he did the movie, in which he is a fidgety, compulsively-lip-licking work of art, bouncing around his scenes like a racquetball. And he kept drinking.

“I don’t remember much of the 70s,” he said. “All that stuff—the explosiveness of my life change. It would be almost fair to say I wasn’t really there. It was too much for anyone to handle.”

In Sidney Pollack’s Bobby Deerfield, one of the misfires included in the retrospective, Pacino plays a spiritually vacant racecar driver shaken by a friend’s violent crash. It was made shortly after Pacino stopped drinking, and in the film—deeply reflective drives to nowhere; half-there conversations with a woman trying to reach him—he seems like a man who has lost a dear friend. In one scene, Pacino’s character drives through a tunnel with the woman next to him. She asks him to scream with her, as a means of catharsis. Pacino had spent the previous seven years playing characters defined by an incandescent, seismic mania, but here he was, sober for the first time. His character tells her, “I’m not screaming.”

The movie was ripped as dull melodrama, which it is, though there is something beautiful and haunting in the way Pacino seems to wear his own face as though it were a Halloween mask. Three other duds followed, with the initially-misunderstood Scarface somewhere in between. After that, Pacino quit acting. “I was blinded by the spotlight on my face. I needed to turn it around so that I could see out again,” he told the Telegraph in 2015. While Pacino was gone, he did theater work in New York, he financed movie adaptations of obscure one-acts. And he went broke. “Diane (Keaton) turned around one day,” Pacino told the Village Voice last month, “And said, ‘What, you think you’re going to go back to living in a room? Like the old days?’”

When he finally came back he was something else, someone who would be great and famous again, but the myth had scuffs on the corners now.

In the interview with the Village Voice, Pacino said, “But mostly what you’re always trying to do is get to the personal—because that’s what art is. It’s got something to do with how you feel about what you’re doing.”

***

It is easy to see parallels between his personal life (his father abandoned him and his mother when he was very young; his mother died when she was only 42; the kids he had late in life; the way he was treated once like an earth-rattling force of nature and then, in some roles, a pull-my-finger mockery of himself) and the heavy themes of his work. Fathers and sons, solitary men paddling against big waves, the contemplation of decay, men sweating and panting on their way to redemption.

You see it in Deerfield, in 2015’s Danny Collins, about an old rockstar ashamed at some of the things he’s done for money, trying to spend more time with his kids. In 1992’s Glengarry Glenross, a film about man’s looming impotence, made just three years after Pacino returned from exile, as a character that seems like both the matador and the bull at war with each other. And now as Paterno, a man close to his end. What’s irresistible about Pacino is the way his career has served as this memoirish self-commentary, a glimpse.

In the Playboy interview, Pacino mentions a trip to the doctor to see about a pain in his toe. “I said to the doctor, ‘Well, it has to get better, right?’ He said no. And I realized there’s an age where everything doesn’t automatically get better… We talk like this, I’ll smoke cigarette after cigarette.”

Everyone gets old. Then you start wondering how you got there.

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Follow John Saward on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.

The 'Jersey Shore' Cast Said 'I've Changed' Countless Times on the Premiere

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The theme of the premiere of Jersey Shore Family Vacation was change. Five years have passed since we've seen our favorite guidosMike "The Situation," Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, JWoww, Deena, Pauly D, Vinny, and Ronnie—all under the same roof. "The Situation" is sober. Ronnie's about to be a father. Snooki and JWoww have children, all of whom, judging by their introductions, like to jump on their parents' mattresses. Pauly D, uh, has a white Lambo adorned with a license plate bearing his name. (Sammi, who isn't participating in the show and stayed at home in Jersey, has been replaced by a sex doll.)

They're grown up. They've learned some lessons. They've changed.

There are other stabs at maturity, too. In the two-part, almost two-hour-long episode, their vacation home this time around isn't a bungalow in Seaside, but instead a Michael Corleone–esque compound in Miami's South Beach. No one needs to fight over what bedroom to take anymore, and there are few moments of what you'd call high drama. The (literal) knock down, drag out fights of yesteryear have been replaced by... Snooki being mortified that ants have gathered on some pizza left outside. And... Ronnie clogging the toilet.

But the crew hasn't gone from wild to completely mild just yet. And despite each cast member's frequent and exhausting declarations of how much they've changed since last we've seen them, there's little real evidence they have. The truth of each cast member's self-proclaimed metamorphosis, like the waters of the Jersey Shore itself, is not clear. As such, we combed through all 120 minutes of the premiere Jersey Shore reunion episodes and meticulously noted each instance a cast member said they (or a fellow cast member) has changed, and then exhibited some behavior that proves they actually kinda sorta didn't. You can find them below, with time stamps.

Ronnie

"Things have changed, but they really haven't changed." [Episode I, 00:30]

Mike: "[Ronnie]'s a mess, his life is a mess, and something's gotta change." [Episode II, 27:20]

Vinny

"There is a change. I have a girlfriend." [Episode I, 4:20]

Vinny's mom, it is revealed, still does his laundry. [Episode I, 4:31]

"She's exactly the same." [Episode I, 4:43]

"Since the last time you saw me at the Shore, I am a completely different person than I was. I'm super into nutrition and the way I eat." [Episode I, 10:10]

"I'm working out now, trying to get abs. I feel the best I've ever felt—mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, everything..." [Episode I, 10:23]

"Everyone's dance moves are exactly the same." [Episode I, 38:30]

"I'm looking around and realizing we're not these wiser, more mature people. We're still the same shit show that was around five years ago." [Episode II, 1:35]

Photo courtesy of MTV

Deena

"I'm a little classier, but I'm still a meatball." [Episode I, 5:14]

Mike "The Situation"

"Not much has changed." [Episode I, 1:24]

"'The Situation' is under construction." [Episode I, 2:00]

Vinny: "I hear 'The Situation' is under construction. [Episode I, 10:16]

"'The Situation' is under construction." [Episode I, 10:17]

Vinny: "You look great, bro. You're like a new person... I know you're all into bettering yourself. We used to just look at the outside of 'The Situation,' now we're looking at the inside." [Episode I, 10:29]

"Today 'The Situation' lives with integrity. I don't lie. I don't cheat. I don't steal. I don't drink. I don't do drugs." (Episode 1, 10:44)

"The Situation" explains to Vinny why he might do years of jail time for tax evasion. [Episode I, 10:50]

Vinny: "[Mike]'s in the best place of his life. He totally changed his life around." [Episode I, 11:30]

Pauly D: "Mike's all different now." [Episode I, 14:15]

Ronnie: "I hope [Mike] stays sober. I'm not going to lie. But I kind of want to see him be a dick." [Episode I, 14:20]

Deena: "The old Mike fucking sucked. But this Mike is just amazing. He really is like born again—and I mean not come out of the vagina born again, like a baby born again, but I mean, like, he's a new soul... I love this Mike." [Episode II, 21:35]

Mike explains to Snooki and Deena that he no longer smokes cigarettes. [Episode II, 27:45]

Vinny: "You're an inspiration to all of us." [Episode II, 32:00]

Snooki: "Mike, you were like my best friend, and then we totally fell off... We were like fighting. We hated each other. I couldn't even stand to look at you, and then all of a sudden you were Mike again." [Episode II, 32:18]

JWoww: "There was a point where I actually punched you in your face... but at the end of the day I could not be more proud to call Michael Sorrentino my friend." [Episode II: 32:42]

Ronnie: "So, Mike... You're in a great place, and I respect where you've gotten to. But we have had more downs than ups, that's for sure... Since day one, we've gone at it, we've had issues with each other. Fighting. Yelling. Screaming. I didn't like you... You know, you were not a good person. You were not the person I met when you first walked into the house. you became something I didn't want to be around, I didn't want to associate myself with... But after seeing you the last couple months, and talking to you, I respect where you've gotten to and the strength that you have. Very inspirational, bro." [Episode II, 33:03]**

Photo courtesy of MTV

JWoww

"A lot has changed." [Episode I, 2:45]

"We all grew up, sort of." [Episode I, 7:30]

Snooki

"Keep your titty out," Snooki, to JWoww. [Episode I, 7:32]

Deena: "Motherhood has definitely not slowed Nicole down. I don't think Nicole will ever slow down." [Episode I, 12:20]

Snooki FaceTimes Mike and begins screaming inside a restaurant. [Episode I, 13:00]

"I can't eat pickles like I used to." [Episode I, 28:25]

"I want to be like Mike, but that's never going to happen. I love my alcohol too much." [Episode II, 28:30]

Pauly D

"I'm the number one guido. And I still am. I'm killing it. And never fell off." [Episode I, 3:10]

"Now everyone's in a different place in their life." [Episode I, 14:10]

JWoww: "You look like you haven't aged ever." [Episode I, 22:50]

"Some things just don't change," Pauly, after Snooki pisses in a pool. [Episode II, 3:25]

**Wow, really seems like Mike has changed. So inspirational, bro.

Follow Alex Norcia, a proud New Jerseyan, on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.

Here's What Will Happen After a Huge Earthquake Inevitably Hits California

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California is the land of beaches, mountains, and all the legal marijuana you can stomach. It’s also, inconveniently, a dangerous minefield riddled with nasty fault lines that rupture without much warning, generating massive earthquakes that can level buildings, pulverize roads, and kill lots of people in the span of seconds.

The San Andreas is the most notorious of these faults. It runs roughly 800 miles long and produces quakes so catastrophic that there’s a 2015 action movie about it starring The Rock. The southern section of the fault generates earthquakes every 150 years on average, and considering some parts of it haven’t ruptured in more than 200 years, Southern California is overdue for a major shaking, otherwise known as “the Big One.”

“There is no fault that is more likely to break [in California] than the San Andreas Fault,” says Jonathan P. Stewart, professor and chair of UCLA’s Civil and Environmental Engineering department and an expert in earthquakes. “Small local earthquakes—the Northridge earthquake, the San Fernando earthquake—they can kill people in the dozens, they can have freeways coming down, they can affect dams, and all of that is bad,” he says. “But it doesn’t really pose an existential threat to our economy, our ability to live here.” A large earthquake on the San Andreas Fault, on the other hand, he says, could create a devastating threat to humanity, infrastructure, and the economy, with implications that extend nationally and even globally.

Scientists don’t know exactly where the Big One will hit or how large it will be when it does, but they do have some ideas: One of the most likely scenarios, according to a 2008 federal study, is a 7.8 magnitude earthquake starting at the Salton Sea and running up through Lake Hughes, on a 200 mile long section of the fault that, in parts, hasn't ruptured since 1680—almost two centuries before California became part of the United States and long before it had any major infrastructure.

The largest possible earthquake that can strike throughout most of the San Andreas is an 8.4 magnitude, according to Southern California Earthquake Center spokesperson Mark Benthien, who says the bigger the earthquake, the lower the probability of it striking. While the impact depends on a range of unknowable factors, here’s what experts say might happen in the moments, hours, and days immediately after the big one rattles California.

During the Quake

Buildings Crumble and People Die

All earthquakes produce high frequency motions that have the potential to badly damage nearby structures, but “earthquakes of different magnitudes produce motions that are damaging to different types of structures,” says Stewart. “When we design tall buildings in downtown LA, we’re definitely thinking about the San Andreas fault. But for more typical structures, say a two-story apartment building, a house, the critical earthquake […] is going to be the smaller faults that are nearby.”

Unreinforced structures—typically made of bricks, cinderblocks, or adobe—unsurprisingly fare the worst. California banned construction of these buildings in 1933, but plenty of them still exist and would not fare well in a major earthquake. Buildings with wooden frames are a lot better off because the wood can withstand shaking, but not all of them are created equal: Apartments and condos with parking tucked underneath tend to collapse because they don’t have enough structural support. Steel towers, although they’re typically pretty sturdy, aren’t immune to destruction: the federal report predicts that five steel high-rises will collapse and 10 others will be red-tagged, or unsafe to enter, after the big one hits.

“Residential structures tend to be better than our business structures,” says Benthien. “A lot of our office buildings were built in the late ‘60s, early ‘70s, and are quite vulnerable, much more so than our wood frame residential structures.” For that reason, he says, earthquakes that strike at night tend to have fewer fatalities than those that hit during the day.

The death toll probably won’t be as bad as movies like San Andreas—which Benthien calls “Hollywood fantasy”—make it out to be. Scientists predict that a magnitude 7.8 earthquake along the southern San Andreas would likely kill about 2,000 people—or less than .1 percent of Southern California’s population of more than 22 million.

Luckily, the San Andreas fault is far enough inland that its rupture wouldn’t disrupt the ocean floor and cause a tsunami, according to Benthien. He says the biggest threat of a tsunami comes from smaller faults off the coast, particularly in far northern California, where the Cascadia subduction zone begins in Cape Mendocino and stretches about 500 miles north to Vancouver.

Power Lines Collapse

“The first thing [to fail] is usually electricity. It’s usually almost instantaneous,” says Brad Aagaard, a research geophysicist at the United States Geological Survey’s Earthquake Science Center. It doesn’t take an enormous earthquake for that to happen: A magnitude 6 would do the trick, Aagaard says.

The degree of damage depends on how many electric power transmission lines intersect with the part of the fault that ruptures. The southernmost section of the San Andreas fault, for example, crosses more than 140 different transmission lines, according to the 2008 analysis. “There’s a lot of electricity lines crossing. If it’s crossing from one tower to the next tower and the towers don’t collapse, you can have the fault moving underneath and it’s probably alright,” says Stewart. “Of course, if the towers do collapse, then you’re going to have some issues.” Those issues might include wildfires, which could erupt as a result of damage to the power lines. (Because most major transmission towers are in remote areas, they wouldn’t pose a huge risk of harm to people if they fell down, says Stewart.)

A suggestion: Stock up on flashlights, keep your phone and laptop charged, and hoard some extra batteries, because you may be forced to reenact pioneer days if the power lines are downed. Stuffing a wad of cash under your mattress could be a good idea, too, since banks, ATMs, and credit cards might not work for a couple of days.

Oil and Gas Pipelines Rupture

If you think dealing with a dead iPhone and navigating your apartment—which may or may not still be standing—by candlelight is rough, wait until high-pressure gas lines rupture. When they break, they leak gas into the air, which can potentially ignite and cause explosions. The myriad natural gas and petroleum pipelines running through the Cajon Pass, a mountain pass between Los Angeles and Las Vegas, are particularly vulnerable to damage, says Benthien. The area not only lies on top of the San Andreas Fault, but it was actually formed by previous fractures in it.

Similar to power lines, the extent of the damage would depend on how many major gas and oil lines cross the fault when it moves. For some perspective: The southernmost section of the San Andreas fault alone intersects with 39 pipelines. One thing you can do to prepare, says Stewart, is to make sure you have access to an automatic shut off valve on the gas line running through your home. If you live in an apartment, ask your landlord if you have access to it.

Water and Sewer Pipes Fail

The Los Angeles Aqueduct, the Colorado Aqueduct, and the California Aqueduct are just some of the major networks that pump water into Southern California from the northern and eastern parts of the state. They also all cross the San Andreas Fault and could be catastrophically ruptured in a large-scale earthquake. "We would have to make do without all that imported water,” says Stewart. “It would be a race against the clock. Can we get these aqueducts repaired in time before we run out of our local water supply?”

Even if the aqueducts don’t break, a major earthquake would probably damage the water pipes, which presents a whole other set of problems: “How do you actually get the water from where it’s stored once it comes out of these aqueducts to people’s houses and businesses?” says Stewart. “This is going to be one of the biggest impacts actually. You’re going to turn on your tap, you’re not going to be able to use it.” Even if the water does come out of the tap, Stewart warns, it could potentially be contaminated from broken sewer lines, so the utility companies would have to issue warnings not to use it.

Part of the problem is that “many of the pipelines of Southern California have been in the ground for [up to] 100 years, and so they’re vulnerable, they’re breaking,” says Benthien. “You hear about water main breaks, you see it on the news. Those happen even when there’s not rumbling and shaking.” One piece of expert advice: Keep at least a two-week supply of water in your house so you won’t have to fight your neighbors over bottled water when the shit hits the fan.


Immediate Aftermath of the Quake

Communication Breaks Down

Living without Internet, phone service, and social media sounds anxiety-inducing enough as it is, but it could be a scary reality after the big one hits. “For many people, if they can’t go on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, it may be more troublesome than if they don’t have water,” says Benthien. He’s thinking about instances where people might get trapped under rubble or separated from their friends and family and don’t have phone service or Internet to call for help or ask for resources.

It may sound counterintuitive, but if you do have cell service immediately after an earthquake, Benthien warns, don’t use it to make a phone call. He recommends sending a text instead, which uses up a fraction of the bandwidth on the cell network. “The phone system is not designed for everybody to be able to pick up their phone and make calls at the same time,” he says. That can lead to outages. If you really have to make a call, dial someone out of state and let them know you’re okay (or not) so you’re not jamming up the local phone lines.

Longterm Effects

Businesses Shut Down and the Economy Tanks

California boasts one of the largest economies in the world—but that may not be the case after the big one hits. Major transportation networks like railroads and highways could be shut down for days, weeks, or even months. Maybe the most detrimental shutdown would be the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach, which handle about a quarter of all cargo entering the US. “The whole country is going to be impacted,” says Benthien, who adds that a lot of major retailers stock their stores around the country with inventory that arrives on ships docked at these major West Coast ports. Because most of the inventory is based on demand, if these ports closed, even for a couple of days, plenty of big box stores like Target and Walmart could have empty shelves for a while, even in areas that weren’t hit by an earthquake. (Consider that further motivation to stock up on water and other essentials now.)

“If you can’t unload the ships and get the stuff off the ships, then it won’t go through the stores,” says Benthien.

Not only that, but plenty of people could be out of work because their companies are forced to shut down, at least temporarily, due to power and water outages or building damage. “All these places that need water to do their business, they can no longer operate, they can no longer pay their employees,” Benthien says. Even someone whose employer isn’t impacted might not be able to get to work anyway: The highway they use to get to work might be fractured, their home could be uninhabitable or need major repairs, or worse, they might need time to search for family members.

The estimated total financial cost of the big one in California? About $200 billion. That’s according to researchers who compiled the 2008 federal analysis, so the number is likely even higher now. They took into account potential devastation in four major categories: damage to buildings, non-structural damages, destruction of lifelines and infrastructure, and losses due to fires.

The estimated total impact of just building damage is $33 billion, not counting the costs following a potential quake-induced fire. It’s a hefty price tag, especially considering that most Californians don’t have earthquake insurance, which is rarely included in homeowners or renters’ insurance. Just over 14 percent of homeowners and 5 percent of renters with residential insurance have an earthquake policy, which typically covers damage to belongings and personal property like furniture and the cost of relocating to either new or temporary housing, according to 2016 data from the California Earthquake Authority. (The state agency, which supplies most of the state’s earthquake insurance, doesn’t keep statistics on how many Californians don’t have residential insurance.)

A California law passed in 1971, a year after the San Fernando Earthquake destroyed thousands of homes and businesses, requires the state to establish earthquake fault zones and distribute maps of all active faults to the cities, counties, and state agencies that control construction projects around them. Those agencies are then required to conduct a geological investigation before approving any new construction; if they find an active fault line, they have to require that developers set buildings at least 50 feet away from it. These rules are obviously intended to prevent construction on active fault lines, but they’re not always enforced: a 2013 LA Times investigation that found that officials in LA approved more than a dozen construction projects on or near fault lines because they said the state hadn’t yet designated the areas as earthquake fault zones. A law passed in Los Angeles in 2015 attempts to remedy some of these oversights by requiring the owners of particularly vulnerable buildings to either prove their properties have been retrofitted or get permits to do so.

The city allows property owners to take years, and depending on the building type, decades to complete the retrofitting process, however. The best thing you can do in the meantime is prepare for the worst: Buy a first aid kit, get trained in emergency medical response—FEMA offers a program—and keep tabs on less-able-bodied friends and neighbors who may need your help after the ground stops shaking. “It’s what you do before the earthquake that will determine your quality of life afterwards,” says Benthien. “That’s really what it comes down to.”

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This article originally appeared on VICE US.

Ballmastrz 9009 Is the Last Sports Anime You'll Ever Need

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More than nine millennia ago, the Rad Wars devastated Earth. “They weren’t rad, they were bad!” shrieks a floating, sportscasting, mohawked orb in the opening moments of Ballmastrz 9009, the new show from Superjail! creator Christy Karacas.

Instead of war, movies, TV, football, or politics, the only activity anyone obsesses over is the blood sport invented by earth’s immortal Supreme Leader to enforce peace. The Game entertains the masses and gives rowdy war hawks something to do besides starting political conflict. There are only two rules: Use the ball to score, and use the ball to kill.

Ballmastrz feels like Devilman Crybaby tossed The Bad News Bears, Looney Tunes, a jar of Adult Swim promos, and Rollerball into a blender and then jumped in after them. For the uninitiated, Karacas is known animating spectacular deaths, whether in his ten-deaths-a-minute show Superjail!, short films like Bar Fight , or music videos like Royal Blood’s “Out of the Black.” Ballmastrz “isn’t as violent, but is just as intense” as his previous work, said Karacas. “What I like about Superjail! and violent scenes in general is that it’s creative and funny, not that it’s grossing me out. I like violence, that’s true, but this is like Looney Tunes violence.”

Karacas has been working on the show for four years, but lucked out in the casting phase when he scored Orange Is the New Black star Natasha Lyonne to play his leading lady, disgraced superstar athlete Gaz Digzy. “She’s like the Michael Jordan of the sport. But then she kind of went the Kenny Powers route,” Karacas told me over a beer. In the first episode she tumbles from celebrity rehab into her last chance at redemption: helping the worst team in the league win just one round of The Game.

The worst team in the league is an archetypal group of misfits, part Bad News Bears and part One Piece, called the Leptons. They’re from the poorest region on the planet and are the butt of the most violent visual gags in the first few episodes. The main character is peppy orphan Ace Ambling, who talks like Ash Ketchum and idolizes Gaz—until she abandons the Leptons to go on a bender. They must unlock the secret power of the Ballmastrz if they want a shot at victory.

Karacas reached out to Lyonne while she was shooting a scene with Superjail! vet David Wain for his satirical National Lampoon biopic A Futile and Stupid Gesture . "She asked [Wain] if he knew anything about this Adult Swim thing. And he was like, ‘You should do it, they’re cool!’ And she said OK!” said Karacas. “When Natasha and I were reading the lines, she said, ‘I love this character.’ She liked that she’s basically like a dude. Gaz is just a badass person who happens to be a chick.”

Despite Lyonne's star power, Karacas knows Ballmastrz isn't for everybody. "I didn't know how it was going to turn out when I started. There was a process of figuring it out," he said. Lately he’s been getting into anime like Kill la Kill and Ping Pong, and is open about the influence it had on the show (though he isn’t sure if Michael B. Jordan's endorsement has made the medium cool yet). Its DNA is instantly recognizable in everything from the super tight cuts, over-the-top themed battles, and characters’ big crying eyes. It's a departure from Superjail! and he doesn't know if fans of the show or the Japanese animation style will enjoy his fusion.

While Karacas is cautious about the future, he's very excited. He already knows the direction he wants to take the show. “If we get another season," he said, "I want to make it weirder.”

Ballmastrz 9009 premieres Sunday, April 8 at midnight (EST/PST) on Adult Swim.

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This article originally appeared on VICE US.


Why London's Teenagers Are Killing Each Other

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Amaan Shakoor was with friends outside a leisure centre in Walthamstow last Monday night when masked attackers exited a car and shot him point blank in the face. He was 16. Only three weeks beforehand, half a mile down the road, 20-year-old Joseph Williams-Torres died in a pool of blood after he was shot in the stomach.

The day after Amaan was murdered, yards from the secondary school where he had studied, the police forensics tent went up. Young people in hoodies and masks paying their respects clashed with police. As is becoming the custom when a youngster dies in a London street killing, online, Amaan's friends were updating their social media profile pictures to photos of him.

"We grew up on a dirty and fucked strip. I was with you only four days ago talking about how many man we lost," said one tribute posted on Instagram. "You said to me that one of us man were gonna be the next and subhanallah you wasn't wrong. I've seen too many friends of mine drop and it needs to stop I can’t take it anymore ngl. Farewell to a true driller and warrior. Rest in power."

It's a bloody time to be young and working class on the streets of London. You don’t have to pore over statistics, or know anything about the victims, to get that these fatalities are an abhorrent waste of life. Amaan was one of three teenagers murdered in only three days at the start of April. In nine weeks, there have been 19 homicides in the capital involving victims aged under 25. Nine of them were yet to reach their 20th birthdays.

Most of those killed this year have been young black men, as was the case in 2017, when teenage homicides began to spike nationally, with 27 teenagers killed. The last time the numbers of young homicide victims was so high was a decade ago, in 2007 and 2008. Again, the dead were chiefly black kids living in deprived neighbourhoods.

As the Home Office today launches a new £40 million strategy to reduce youth violence and tackle the County Lines drug trade – identifying the "devastating effect of crack cocaine as a key driver" in the rise of the violence, and blaming social media for allowing young people to taunt rivals – explanations of why young people are getting stabbed to death in such large numbers have rained down from all angles.

Racists blame violent immigrants. Tories say it's London Mayor Sadiq Khan's fault. The mayor himself wants more stop-and-search, while Home Secretary Amber Rudd says it's nothing to do with police, but the drug trade. Metropolitan police chief Cressida Dick has it down to social media, while many of her officers think the killings have been prompted by a fall in police numbers and stop-and-search. David Lammy, MP for Tottenham – where 17-year-old bystander Tanesha Melbourne was killed in a drive-by shooting on the 2nd of April – singles out the cocaine trade. Tory MP Sarah Wollaston goes further, asking recreational drug users "whether they are proud of their own role in fuelling gang violence & dead teenagers".


WATCH:


But let's move away from the political posturing. If we want to know why this is going on in London right now, we have to look at the motives of the killers: what drove them to stab or shoot someone to death? As suspects in this recent spate of homicides are rounded up and charged, we can only guess the thought processes that led the guilty ones to murder.

However, looking at court cases involving some of the 27 teenagers killed in the capital last year provides a good insight into what it was that triggered these homicides. What they reveal is a procession of lives lost to petty social media beefs, tit-for-tat revenge attacks and small world rivalries. It's the street equivalent of a Twitter spat which ends in the morgue.

These guys might be tough, but it's important to remember that they're still kids. In June of last year, for example, a 16-year-old killed Osman Sharif – also 16 – with a meat cleaver in a Tottenham street because of a row over some laughing emojis on Snapchat. Two months earlier, 20-year-old Syed Jamanoor Islam was stabbed to death by a 16-year-old in Mile End in a feud that started with eggs being thrown by the victim's brother as a joke.

YouTube and Snapchat have become, in the words of Brixton youth worker Ciaran Thapar, "a medium through which groups of young men can fire shots at their opps without leaving their estate". Yet, sometimes the online abuse translates into visceral street violence.

In February of last year, Dean Pascal-Modeste, 21, was stabbed 14 times by two 18-year-olds after being caught up in a gang feud over a rap video shown on DJ Tim Westwood's YouTube channel. Two weeks later, Mohammed Hassan, 17, was sliced to death with a machete in Battersea by four teenagers, days after filming a rap video taunting a rival south London gang.

Social media compounds youth violence because it has the power to intensify feuds in a matter of seconds to an audience of thousands. The ubiquity of Snapchat and Instagram among teenagers now has ramped-up the potential to humiliate and therefore the need to maintain, or restore, reputation.

There is a certain element of a feeding frenzy at play here. Not just that the media is reporting every single stabbing in London, but because, like social media, killing can go viral. Murders can generate more murders, especially in London’s currently febrile state, and this could be a contributing factor to the rise. Because the bar for committing extreme violence is lowered, what is acceptable to some becomes acceptable to many. As well as the inevitable tit-for-tat attacks, those involved in that world are now more likely to be armed and dangerous, whether police decide to conduct a mass shakedown or not, because, in 2018, their life is more at risk.

Many – but by no means all – of those involved in these killings, both victims and perpetrators, are street hustlers who will have made money from selling drugs on the street. It's a tough life, especially if you're going country, and many of them will have carried weapons and got into fights.
But claims that the drug trade is the prime mover behind this spate of killings are hard to back up; there is no evidence to show that new trends in the drug economy have fuelled London's surge in violence.

The recent rise in purity and prevalence of crack and heroin – the drugs connected with street sellers and violence – does not appear linked. The last time street violence was at its height, in 2008, crack purity had hit rock bottom. The spread of young dealers from the capital's gangs selling drugs in satellite towns may be increasing homicides in towns such as Southend, but will have little impact on London's violence.

London is not The Wire. Unlike in Baltimore, where a significant number of last year's 343 homicides were drug trade turf wars, only a handful of teenage murders in the UK capital over the last year appear directly linked to drug patch disputes. For most of them, it’s a way of making a living without attracting too much police heat, rather than a reason to commit murder.

In London – like other big cities in the UK, such as Liverpool – youth violence is more about where you live than what you are selling. In most parts of London, the boredom of everyday life is alleviated by an obsessive rivalry with crews from the block of flats down the road. Last August, 15-year-old schoolboy Jermaine Goupall was stabbed to death simply because he lived in the CR7 postcode and happened to be hanging out in his neighbourhood when a gang from the nearby CR0 postcode swung by armed with knives, looking for enemies to maim.

But there are deeper, underlying and long-term elements at play. It's difficult to understand why someone can be whacked for posting up a laughing emoji, or why carrying a knife has become a way of life for some school-age children. But then outsiders have little idea of the marginalised, claustrophobic life led by the populations most at risk of being killed and of being killers.

Dr Ebony Reid of Brunel University carried out in-depth research, published last year, into road culture and trapping on her own estate in north London. She told me the bloodshed is fuelled by a crisis: too many young, socially-excluded black men living in poverty in London see postcode rivalries and a life of crime as the only viable way of making something of themselves. Once set on this path, says Dr Reid, they become trapped, not only physically in council estates, but within the brutalised mental state that being on road requires.

"There is a structure and logic to the violence which consumes life 'on road'," says Dr Reid. "Identity has to be managed, and they employ violence to redeem themselves. These men have nothing else, but their lives on road, and no real prospect of making it. But they are essentially traumatised by their experiences. These men feel lost, isolated and invisible."

Which leads to the conclusion that increased stop-and-search, social media restrictions and tougher clampdowns on the drug trade might not do the trick. These knee-jerk policies could temporarily put a lid on these tragic killings, but they can't tackle their deep-rooted causes. "Investing more in prevention and early intervention" will reportedly be a focus of the new Home Office scheme – which is a start, but we've heard those kinds of promises before.

What is needed is empathy, not restrictions, tasers and batons. Crime expert Gavin Hales, who spent the 2000s analysing intense levels of violent youth crime in Brent, got it right when he said that "policymakers aspiring to prevention must meaningfully address opportunity, esteem and the worldview held by vulnerable youngsters".

If we fail to enter their mind-set, to understand why young people carry knives; why they live criminal lives and why they kill, there is no chance of stemming the slaughter. Young Londoners from marginalised communities are becoming increasingly trapped in a deadly echo chamber, a blinkered zone of narrowing horizons and artificial social media beefs, where reputation is an all-consuming currency. Unless they are offered a way out, young bodies like Amaan's will keep on falling.

@Narcomania

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Introducing Olly Murs, Oxford Street Terror Attack Truther

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Remember when Olly Murs shat himself in Selfridges? It's been a long time since 2017 now, so it's probably hard to remember exactly, but he did: last November, in the midst of a country-wide panic about terror following a number of incidents in London and nearby European countries, Olly Murs – who you know from coming second on The X Factor once – started a mass evacuation-cum-terror panic after tweeting to his 7+ million followers that a maniac with a gun was firing shots in the Selfridges he was in.

Nearby office workers locked themselves in buildings. The thousands of members of the shopping public stampeded to the nearest Tube station, or hid out in shuttered shops. People were calling their mums, convinced they were going to die because of what Olly Murs had said. Anyway, turned out it was nothing – there had been a fight on a Tube platform, people had run away, more people had run away from that and a gun squad had been called, prompting everyone to believe something serious was happening. There had not actually been any gun shots.

So, to re-iterate: Olly Murs started a terror panic for no discernible reason at all. That, I would argue – second only to Fabio killing a goose with his face that time – is the greatest celebrity story of a generation.

Anyway, Olly Murs is back, now, and he still believes. Speaking to Danny Wideshoulder at The Sun, Murs doubled-down, saying there was definitely a gunner in Selfridges that time – in the beauty aisle, specifically – and that there must have been a cover-up, or something, because it definitely happened. Here he is explaining how Selfridges is ruined for him now it's tinged forever with the taste of terror:

I am obsessed with this: Olly Murs, the most embarrassed man alive, going full tin-hat over the mythical Selfridges Shooter, maps printed out on his wall at home, pieces of string linking all the clues together, daubing "WHERE ARE THE BODIES? WHERE WAS THE BLOOD?" in Sharpie on the wallpaper when he should be sleeping. Olly Murs is demanding the CCTV. Olly Murs hasn’t slept properly in weeks. He’s the moderator of a whole conspiracy sub-reddit about it.

Can you imagine being locked in a potential Selfridges terror attack with Olly Murs off of X Factor? As best I can tell, Olly Murs has about three useable skills, which are: putting hats on and then cheekily adjusting the brim of them; making mums wet; and putting a decent shift in during an ITV-screened 11-a-side charity football match. Few of these can be used to distract a shooter inside the complex stations and side-stores of Selfridges. Olly Murs, sprinting into touch in a slightly-too-tight full England kit. Olly Murs, licking his lips and trying to flip a fedora onto his head, dazzling terrorists while the rest of us slink away. Olly Murs, winking to the camera and doing that cheeky smile. Olly Murs, taking a hail of bullets so we don’t have to, his body contorting and exploding to a perfect doo–wop beat. Olly Murs, buried a hero beneath the Union Flag, a mass parade to carry his coffin down the Mall towards Westminster Abbey.

But Olly Murs saw the truth in Selfridges that day. If he could find the people he huddled in the changing rooms with (didn’t get the names, didn’t get the numbers) then they would tell you: there was gunfire, there, despite all evidence pointing otherwise. Something happened in the Selfridges beauty aisle, and They don’t want you to know what. Olly Murs knows, though. Olly Murs will get to the bottom of it.

@joelgolby

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Why Kinder Morgan Is Pausing ‘Non-Essential’ Trans Mountain Pipeline Spending

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After a couple hundred protesters blocked a Kinder Morgan construction site in Burnaby Saturday, the Texas oil company announced it will stop all “non-essential” Trans Mountain pipeline expansion spending Sunday.

Kinder Morgan’s CEO Steve Kean said in a statement that the “current environment” poses too much financial risk to his shareholders, calling out the government of BC’s legal opposition to the project as a major hurdle.

“The uncertainty as to whether we will be able to finish what we start leads us to the conclusion that we should protect the value that [Kinder Morgan] has, rather than risking billions of dollars on an outcome that is outside of our control," Kean said.

The company is seeking “clarity on the path forward, particularly with respect to the ability to construct through BC” as well as “protection” for its shareholders on the $7.4 billion pipeline expansion. Kean warned if these concerns aren’t addressed by May 31, “it is difficult to conceive of any scenario in which we would proceed with the project.” Kinder Morgan plans to consult with stakeholders until then.

Indigenous leaders and environmental protesters celebrated the announcement as a win for on-the-ground protest. So far the company has not put a price tag on delays caused by ongoing blockades at its Burnaby marine terminal, though estimates submitted in court documents suggest it could be hundreds of thousands per day.

Grand Chief Stewart Phillip of the Union of BC Indian Chiefs, who was among blockaders Saturday, told supporters Sunday that Kinder Morgan “blinked.” “They took a step back, and I think probably after some long hours in the boardroom last night they’ve come to the inevitable conclusion that you simply can’t ram a pipeline through in the face of such opposition.”

For years pipeline opposition has focused on ongoing First Nations legal challenges, a flawed environmental review process, uncertain spill risks, and the climate impacts associated with tripling the daily capacity of a 1,150 kilometre pipeline.

Canada’s natural resource minister pledged to fight BC opposition, calling Trans Mountain a “crucial resource project.”

“The Government of Canada calls on Premier Horgan and the BC government to end all threats of delay to the Trans Mountain Expansion,” reads part of Minister Jim Carr’s statement. “His government's actions stand to harm the entire Canadian economy. At a time of great global trade uncertainty, the importance of Canada's role in the global energy market is bigger than individual projects and provinces.”

Alberta Premier Rachel Notley echoed the feds, adding her province will provide investment if necessary. “If we have to, Alberta is prepared to do whatever it takes to get this pipeline built,” reads a Sunday tweet from the premier.

In a short afternoon press conference BC Premier John Horgan said his government would continue their legal battle against the project, and “respectfully disagreed” that the project was in the national interest. “The interests of Texas boardrooms are not the interests of British Columbians,” he told media.

“We will always stand up for British Columbians, our environment and the thousands of jobs that depend on our coast.”

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An Ode to Craigslist Hookups

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I haven’t used Craigslist personals in years. If I want to get laid, I, like most queer men, am more likely to jump on one of the many apps like Scruff, Grindr, or Hornet.

But now they're gone. Craigslist axed their entire personals section last week in response to the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act passing Congress. The bill will make websites more liable for the content users post on their platforms. It's designed to fight sex trafficking, though experts say it will actually increase the risk for many sex workers.

The personals section were a big part of my sex and love life for many years, and I've found myself mourning its loss.

About ten years ago, after a pretty rough breakup, I found myself cruising the Craigslist personals. I met some pretty amazing guys on there. Some were just fucks, some became friends, and one of them, Tony, became my boyfriend.

When I met Tony he was 22 and I was 39. I responded to an ad he'd placed on Craigslist. He was living in Torrance, California, in a two bedroom house with his mother, three sisters, and their four kids. Tony had grown up sheltered in his family, removed from the more mainstream gay LA.

After a few days of trading pictures and emails, Tony took the bus to my house in Silver Lake. When he arrived, I was blown away. He was way sexier in real life. Short and muscular, dark hair and eyes, a huge smile. We sat on the couch and made out, then spent the afternoon fucking and talking. He free-formed poetry for me and I read him short stories I'd written. We bought a bottle of wine and spent the whole night getting drunk and telling each other everything, only stopping to fuck and make out.

Tony used Craigslist to break away from his home life, from his family, from a world where he couldn’t be out, where he couldn’t be who he was. He told me stories of all the guys he'd met, including a couple in West Hollywood who'd taken him to Palm Springs for the weekend.

“They treated me real good,” he said to me, excited and proud. “Those guys were really amazing guys. They made me feel special. Like it was okay to be gay. That there was nothing wrong with me.”

Tony moved in with me a few months later, and we lived together for four years. He is still one of my best friends.

Before Tony and I started dating, I met all kinds of amazing men on the site.

There was Christian, who lived in a large modern house in the Los Feliz hills. He would spend hours sucking my dick, edging me, while I looked out at the expanse of Los Angeles shimmering in the darkness like a field of endless fireflies. After I would cum he would massage me and tell me stories of growing up in Belgium, and moving to California with his father after his mother had died. He told me about the films he worked on, affairs he'd had with closeted actors, and secret Hollywood sex parties.

Christian was HIV positive. He was proud of himself because he'd done the AIDS ride from San Francisco to LA three years in a row.

A few years ago Christian got sick. I was able to visit him in the hospital before he died. We told each other stories, and laughed about all the hours we'd spent together in that house of glass floating above the city.

A couple of days ago, I was talking to my best friend, special effects artist Alex Rondon, about Craigslist.

“I fucking loved Craigslist," he said.

Alex grew up in Huntington Beach, California. While he was open to all his friends and family, he still found it hard to meet other gay guys. Feeling lonely, he found himself cruising Craigslist personals.

He found another queer high school senior who lived nearby, and they made plans to meet at a coffee shop in nearby Long Beach.

"We fucked around in his car, parked in some residential neighborhood. I remember fucking him in the back seat, and there wasn’t any real room, but it felt so amazing. Like we were breaking all the goddamn rules, and we didn’t care. That guy and I hooked up for years. Always in one of our cars, always on some quiet, suburban street. It made those years less lonely.

He told me about another guy, a makeup artist for horror movies, who he found through the personals section. "I thought that was the coolest thing ever," he said. "I had always wanted to be a makeup artist ever since I saw Evil Dead II. This guy, we didn’t even have sex, we just went for walks and talked. He made me feel like I could actually do this for a living. I ended up going to film school in Vancouver, and got my first real gig on Sharknado.

Another friend, the musician Big Dipper, gave me his thoughts on the shutdown.

“I kind of came into a new confidence of being a sexual person using Craigslist," he said. "There was a freedom in reading posts and posting ads for exactly what you wanted to experience... A Craigslist ad is the perfect place to list exactly what you are looking for. I want to walk into your house and find you naked on your couch with Metallica playing on your stereo. You blow me while you eat a meatball sub."




Big Dipper's job takes him all over the country. Craigslist became a way for him to find out who the local gay guys were, where the cruise spots were, and to find whatever fantasies he was looking for.

“It kind of became a sexy secret to know that someone in my same hotel was looking for loads in their ass, or a business man up the street wanted to jerk off with someone in the bathroom at Jimmy John's on his lunch break. It made me look at people and the world around me as this sexual playground with tons of fun rendezvous happening around every corner."

"It's also a place for people who are closeted or on the down low and looking to explore their sexuality," he added.

One of the advantages for many people using Craigslist—and one of high importance for guys who are closeted—was that you didn’t have to enter a bunch of personal information or download any apps that might be found on your phone. Craigslist personals were truly anonymous. All you needed was an email account.

I hooked up with so many "straight" or "curious" guys who didn't feel comfortable out in the world, but wanted that experience behind closed doors.

For most of our history as a community gay men have lived in the shadows, too scared to be open, discriminated against, forced to live lives that were lies. Sometimes, those of us who live in big cities can forget that many in our community are still struggling with these things. Craigslist offered a judgement-free zone.

Craigslist personals weren’t just about getting laid. They were about meeting other people who felt and loved and desired the same things you did.

The personals section offered segments of our community who are still struggling with what it means to be queer a place to go to discover who they were, to feel connected to something larger.

Meeting guys and getting fucked has always been easy, whether it’s through cruising or dating apps, bars or sex clubs, but there was something magical about the true anonymity and privacy that came with a hooking up on Craigslist. You got to be whoever you wanted to be. Top or bottom, boy or daddy, dirty piss hungry slut or rough fisting top. You weren’t constrained by the limits of your real life, you got to live out the fantasy, and, to be honest, I’m going to miss that.

A lot.

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This article originally appeared on VICE US.

We Asked People in Bendigo About That Parody Ep of 'Rick and Morty'

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On April 1st the US cable channel Adult Swim trolled Rick and Morty fans with a “new” Rick and Morty episode. And while the episode was definitely new, it wasn’t Rick and Morty.

Instead, the show was a parody of Rick and Morty called Bushworld Adventures. The 11-minute episode followed the show’s protagonists to a town in regional Victoria called Bendigo, and needless to say Bendigo was depicted as a pretty depressing, redneck place.

No one was more upset than the town’s mayor. “Bendigo is nothing like what’s in the parody,” she told the Guardian. “Bendigo is a very vibrant and beautiful place.”

But is it actually vibrant? Or beautiful? To find out we paid Bendigo a visit and talked to locals about what they thought of the episode, the mayor’s comments, and whether it’s a nice place to raise the kids.

Zach, 23

VICE: Hey Zach, have you seen Rick and Morty?
Zach: Yeah, 100 percent. You gonna ask me about the Bendigo episode?

I am. When did you see it?
About two nights ago. I saw it on Facebook. One of my mates shared it and it’s pretty funny if you ask me.

Is that episode a big deal here in Bendigo?
Yeah but if anything it just means more publicity. The government is focused on getting revenue so in that regard I think it’s doing well for Bendigo. The actual energy and the intention of it was probably a bit dark—dark comedy—but the people who live understand what they’re getting at.

The mayor wasn’t too happy about it.
Each to their own, you know what I mean? She can keep sweeping it under the carpet but I think it portrayed Bendigo for what it is… well, mostly for what it is.

Do you like living here?
Yeah man, it’s good as. Good energy about it. Highest concentration of quartz in the whole of Australia so it’s high vibrational. Quartz is an energy conductor, so it amplifies energy running through it and so the energy here is highly amplified. Because of that you get a lot of high vibrational beings and a lot of low vibration beings as well. It’s both sides of the spectrum, right here.

Shirley, 76

Hey Shirley, what’s your favourite part about living here?
The pokies mainly (laughs). Nah it's nice here. I’ve got my grog shop, my chemist, my bank, and two fish and chip shops. Everything you need.

You mentioned that you’ve lived here all your life. What’s your fondest Bendigo memory?
When I got married. But my husband’s dead now, he died at 54. But now I’ve got a new one and I’ve been with him for 16 months, and he’s only 45. I’m a cradle snatcher. Do you have any more questions about Bendigo?

Well, do you know a cartoon called Rick and Morty?
No, what station is that on?

Well, the internet mostly. But reason I’m asking is that a parody of the show was set in Bendigo and it upset the mayor.
Oh really? Well I love Bendigo. I couldn’t live in Melbourne, I’ll tell you that much. Melbourne is a rat race. Too many people.

Jason, 48

Hey Jason, how long have you lived in Bendigo?
Fifty years.

But wait, you’re 48?
Yeah but… roughly half a century.

Right, so how has your day been?
Super, super busy. Bendigo is a lovely place to live in. You can walk around and there’s shops, Bendigo markets, you’ve got the bank, the mall, and you can visit people. There’s lots of troublemakers here though. These people are always fighting, swearing at innocent bystanders like myself. Like there’s a certain person named Bernie, he was yabbering his big mouth at me the other day while I was waiting for the bus. He wanted to fight me.

Bernie sounds like a dick.
Yeah. He’s a scumbag.

Do you know the show Rick and Morty?
Nah. I sold my television. It was a mistake.

A mistake?
Yeah I sold it to Cash Converters. I sold my whipper snipper, my push bike, and computer PC monitor, and keyboard too.

Sorry to hear that mate.

Mel, 43

How long have you lived in Bendigo?
I’ve been here all my life. It’s home. It's got everything, good schools, a university, plenty of jobs—people will say otherwise but you know there’s plenty of jobs if you want a job.

Do you know Rick and Morty?
Yeah, I do. The kids got me into it of course. I haven’t seen all of the Bendigo one but I’ve seen a bit of it and I liked it.

What’s your favourite thing about Rick and Morty?
It’s amusing. I’ve got a pretty dark sense of humour and I think it’s Rick that I like more than anything. The alcoholism amuses me, and just his whole attitude.

Is there anything you don’t like about Bendigo?
You know, you can say there are a lot of delinquent kids but I think the kids just get stuck in a rut. What I’m not a fan of is the begging and the people asking for money—it’s a recent development. Two or three years ago it wasn’t a thing. I won't give them money, some of them are just as well off as what I am. It’s not a huge problem though, there’s an increased police presence on the street and people aren’t tolerating it.

Andrew, 38

What comes to mind when I say the word Bendigo?
Just a normal country town pretty much. Plenty to do. Plenty of work.

Do you know Rick and Morty?
Vaguely. It’s pretty much a realistic view of this place, I imagine. It’s not like Melbourne or anything like that, it's got its bogan-ish side to it. I used to live in the outer eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Down there was better. There’s a lot of young troublemakers everywhere at the moment.

Why do you think that is?
Well, imagine you’re a young kid with nothing to do, what else are you going to do? They’re gonna cause mischief, they’re teenagers. They’re bored. There’s a shitload more graffiti around now, and a lot more of them just generally hanging around now. It never used to be like that when I first moved up here. It’s a recent thing that’s happened in the last five or six years.

How does Bendigo solve this?
You can't. It'll only get worse.

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This article originally appeared on VICE AU.

'Isle of Dogs' Is a White Man's Fantasy of Japan

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As Wes Anderson’s latest stop motion offering Isle of Dogs reaches its climax, there’s a scene where one of its leads—foreign exchange student Tracy Walker, voiced by Greta Gerwig—exclaims in a moment of revelation. All her Japanese peers proceed to nod in whispering, mumbling agreement.

At first glance, it’s a wholesome sequence. Tracy’s just incited the rumblings of a plan to rescue the dogs of the fictional city of Megasaki after they’ve been banished to an island off the coast of Japan by the city’s mayor. It has all of Anderson’s aggressively aestheticised trademarks, too—his unrelenting twee-ness, precious pastels, and stickling for symmetry.

But something about the scene, and the passivity of the non-white figures in it, sits uncomfortably.

It’s a discomfort that runs through the entire film. Just like the scene, Isle of Dogs is innocent enough on the surface. It’s a cute and cuddly tale of 12-year-old Atari’s journey to save his lost pet Spots. It’s heartwarming! It’s beautifully animated! Its title is literally a homophone for I Love Dogs!

Look beneath the film’s intricate sets and furry friends though, and there’s something more insidious. Los Angeles Times film critic Justin Chang touched on it when he wrote of Anderson’s “weakness for racial stereotyping,” pointing out the dubious politics of having the dogs speak perfect English, while the Japanese human characters—speaking in their native tongue—aren't subtitled, translated just a handful of times by Interpreter Nelson (voice by Frances McDormand).

Tracy the exchange student in Isle of Dogs. Image supplied

Actual Japanese viewers have also found issue with Tracy as a white saviour who single handedly leads an uprising against Megasaki’s corrupt politicians, whilst emotionless Japanese citizens watch from the sidelines like perfect portraits of Asian subordination. That’s not to mention the film's approach to its Japanese setting, which plays more like a shopping list of clichéd iconography than any sense of real cultural engagement. Isle of Dogs opens and closes with a circle of taiko drummers, and in between Anderson gives us everything from poisoned wasabi to sumo wrestlers to wryly written haikus to, hell, even a mushroom cloud.

More telling, however, isn’t the stereotypes embedded in the film itself, but rather the public refusal to acknowledge them for what they are. Many words have been spilt over the tension between homage and appropriation in Isle of Dogs, and almost all have been met with the same derisive attitude from commenters: that critiquing Anderson’s heavy-handed caricature means taking the film too seriously. Or that Anderson, of all filmmakers, deserves leeway because his entire cinematic oeuvre rests on pushing stereotypes to their exaggerated aesthetic limit.

I get the second argument. I truly do! When Anderson excels in that exaggeration, it’s a cinematic feat. I marvelled at Bottle Rocket’s exhilaration and the surprising sadness of its ending. Moonrise Kingdom’s boy scout nostalgia made me yearn for a childhood filled with French pop and bushwalks. But the director’s best traits shouldn’t excuse his worst: namely, his reduction of non-white characters and cultures to little more than decoration for white storylines.

A scene from Isle of Dogs. Image supplied

And what we’re seeing in Isle of Dogs isn’t new for Wes Anderson. In The Darjeeling Limited, he dropped three white brothers (Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzman, who co-wrote Dogs) into an Indian landscape in the wake of their father’s death. Where Anderson demands too little of his non-white characters in Isle of Dogs, in Darjeeling he asks too much—instead of being white saviours, the brothers are the ones looking for salvation. Of course, in typical Andersonian fashion, they find it—from an Indian funeral, no less.

In neither film does Wes Anderson treat people of colour as living, breathing humans. At best, they’re comic relief; at worst, they’re foils used to propel other, almost without fail English-speaking white characters. Just like in Isle of Dogs, the foreign context is warped and exoticised so much that it becomes nothing but a Western fantasy. Darjeeling was released to an adoring public, which pretty much refused to call out the racism—let’s call it what it is—that was at play.

The public response to both movies seems almost odd when we consider the racial discourse Hollywood has seen of late. The story is a familiar one by now: a white director tries to make a film about people of colour; said director makes a whole slew of poor racial decisions; director and ensuing film are slammed accordingly by audiences and critics.

We’ve watched this play out in a dozen different iterations over and over again: Ghost in the Shell (and Scarlett Johansson’s casting as a Japanese cyborg) springs to mind most readily, but before that there was Emma Stone as a quarter-Chinese, quarter-Hawaiian character in Aloha. And before that there was the three-hour orgy of yellow-faced race-bending that was the Wachowskis’ Cloud Atlas.

Image supplied

So what makes Wes Anderson different? Why is it that Isle of Dogs and Darjeeling haven't elicited any sort of career-ending outrage? In some ways it's true that the racism in these films is subtler than their predecessors’ blatant whitewashing. It’s not quite as scandalous for, say, a dog to speak English compared to seeing a famous white actress in a role clearly meant for a person of colour. To Anderson’s credit, Isle of Dogs does feature an impressive amount of Japanese talent—it’s just a shame they’re underutilised.

And yes, it’s harder to critique the work of an auteur who readily admits his cultural references. These films are charming; they’re quirky; but they’re also ultimately overshadowed by Anderson’s own vision of a pop culture Japan that’s used as set dressing for the story he wants to tell. And that’s what renders his style appropriation, rather than homage.

Perhaps Anderson himself best sums this up. There’s a line about midway through Isle of Dogs uttered by Edward Norton’s character Rex when he first meets the Japanese-speaking protagonist Atari. “I wish there was some way we could understand him,” Norton says. Well, there is. If only Anderson would allow it.

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This article originally appeared on VICE AU.

Wait, 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' Might Actually Be Good

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Expectations have been pretty low leading up to the May release of the Star Wars spinoff Solo—even Disney appeared to be bracing for a flop. But the film's first trailer somehow managed to defy all odds and wound up looking pretty cool, though it was also pretty heavy on space battles and light on plot. Now, finally, Disney has released a brand-new trailer that finally delivers some much-needed substance about the film, and the thing actually looks really fucking cool.

The new trailer gives us our first real look at the movie's central narrative, which centers on a complicated space heist arranged by Woody Harrelson's character, Tobias Beckett, who introduces Han to Lando Calrissian (Donald Glover) and gets him into the cockpit of his soon-to-be-signature ship, the Millennium Falcon. The trailer also introduces Game of Thrones's Emilia Clarke as Qi'Ra, who tries to figure out what it is Han's after.

"Is it revenge? Money?" she asks. "Or is it something else?"

It hits all the standard heist beats, but, you know, with a Star Wars twist. There's a space train robbery! A space car chase! A space team-building montage! Someone even has a space grappling hook at one point! The only way this trailer could've turned out any better is if it was scored with "Sabotage."

The trailer also finally delivers some scenes of Alden Ehrenreich actually acting, which was conspicuously missing from previous clips. And while the guy isn't doing a note-for-note Harrison Ford circa 1977 impression or anything, he doesn't seem half-bad. Maybe that acting coach worked out after all.

"I've got a good feeling about this," Ehrenreich-as-Han says in the trailer. Same, man. Same.

Could Solo actually wind up being the fun and exciting Star Wars standalone that Rogue One decidedly was not? It looks like it's at least a possibility. The movie premieres at Cannes on May 15, and we'll see for ourselves when it finally lands in theaters May 25. Until then, watch Han bust into a moving space train like an intergalactic Butch Cassidy in the new trailer above.

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This article originally appeared on VICE US.


This Is What It Would Take to Turn a Virus into a Weapon

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This article originally appeared on VICE Indonesia.

Melinda Gates recently declared that the biggest threat to humanity is a pandemic brought on by a bioterrorist attack. The scenario evokes a horror movie complete with villains, mysterious laboratories, and global devastation. But before scenes from Contagion start flashing through your mind, it’s worth investigating what an outbreak would actually look like and how concerned experts really are about the possibility of an attack.

The top contenders for biological weapons are classified as Category A agents by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The top three bacterial threats are anthrax, plague, and tularemia, and the top three viruses are smallpox, botulism, and viral hemorrhagic fevers, such as Ebola, Dengue, and Marburg.

No matter what agent is deployed, a few key attributes determine how deadly an outbreak will be. A pathogen becomes more dangerous when it can be grown in large quantities, stay intact longer, exist in smaller particles, require a lower dose to infect people, spread easily, and lead more infected people to develop an illness.

The overarching threat of bioterrorism is that a bad actor or nation would increase those attributes for one of the Category A agents, says Mark Kortepeter, a professor of epidemiology at the University of Nebraska Medical Center College of Public Health and former scientist at the US Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases. Targeting those properties is more feasible now than it was in the past because genetic technologies make it easier and less expensive to manipulate an organism’s genome.

But enhancing a pathogen is still extremely challenging. “A well-funded organization with scientific expertise and the resources to grow, manipulate, or release agents, and the motivation to actually use them—that’s the worst-case scenario,” he says.

Others agree that biological weapons pose a serious threat, but that significant hurdles lower the likelihood of an attack. “It’s certainly possible. But it’s hard to do. It takes a lot of money and organization and scientific expertise,” says Stephen Morse, a professor of epidemiology at the Columbia University Medical Center.

Although experts seem to place the risk slightly lower than Gates, they note that serious incidents have occurred and biodefense is critical. If a bioterrorist attack were to occur, what would it look like? Let’s take a look at a hypothetical timeline of a weaponized virus.

Acquisition

A person or organization, let’s call them John Doe, first has to acquire the virus. Doe could somehow gain access to stores of biological weapons that nations have already developed. For example, two secure stores of smallpox exist (one in the US and one in Russia) that experts have long debated whether to maintain or eliminate. Doe could also order a virus from a culture collection, a repository of biological material for scientists, or he could find it in nature, by seeking out animals that are susceptible to particular infections.

Delivery

For a large-scale attack, Doe would disseminate the virus with an aerosol device, says William Dowling, a program officer in the Office of Biodefense Research Resources and Translational Research. Smallpox is one virus stable enough for this delivery method.

Doe could also infect himself with the virus, target others to infect, or attempt to contaminate the food or water supply. But poisoning the food or water supply would be difficult because we have strong protective measures in place, says Oliver Grundman, a clinical associate professor at the College of Pharmacy at the University of Florida.

Spread

Exit John Doe, enter Mother Nature. A virus’s natural power to spread is what makes it so dangerous. Influenza is especially concerning because it races through communities at startling speeds, Kortepeter says. “It’s so efficient in how it spreads. It’s like you light the kindling and then see this conflagration of a huge fire.

The speed also depends on how many people are initially infected. If 100 people are infected with smallpox, and each of them spreads the disease to three people, the outbreak could produce 4,200 cases in one year, according to simulation by the CDC. (Smallpox historically has a death rate of 30 to 40 percent but the UD is stockpiling 2 million doses of a new smallpox drug called Arestvyr.)

Viruses spread slower in sparse areas and faster in dense areas like schools or offices. As the world becomes increasingly interconnected, it raises our collective susceptibility. “We have worldwide air travel, increased use of public transportation, and centralization of our food supply. So if you’re trying to get a lot of people sick, we have more vulnerabilities as a society,” Morse says.

Response

When an outbreak occurs, health providers usually contact the county or city health department, which will begin investigating the situation. Based on the size and complexity of the outbreak, it might rise to the state or federal level. If the event is determined to be terrorism, the FBI will launch an investigation.

Recognition

A key step in the response process is recognizing whether the outbreak was natural or intentional. That can be tricky because a patient’s symptoms can mimic symptoms of other illnesses, and because it can take time for similar cases to materialize. “Most of these diseases start out looking exactly the same, and they look the same as 100 other diseases,” Dowling says. Public health officials will assess the number of cases, check if patients respond to normal treatments, search for multiple simultaneous outbreaks, and note whether the disease is expected in the region. Basically, everything boils down to context. “How many cases does it take to call it an epidemic? It depends on the disease. If it’s the flu, it could be thousands of cases. But anthrax in the United States? One case,” Kortepeter says. Context clues provide insight, but the only definitive proof of malicious intent is physical evidence like a spray device, a letter containing anthrax spores, or a cultured organism.

Containment

The medical community identifies symptoms of the disease—like a rash, fever, or paralysis—to develop a case definition. They assess how many patients fit the case definition and try to determine a diagnosis. Then they identify risk factors like who a patient came in contact with and how the disease spreads. They treat those who are ill and target those who are at risk with a vaccine or medication. They may block off certain areas or quarantine infected patients.

In the CDC’s smallpox simulation, the health department uses vaccines and isolation to quell the outbreak. If they quarantine 25 percent of infected patients and if vaccination reduces the transmission rate by 33 percent, the outbreak would be contained in one year. And these are conservative estimates, so the outbreak would probably be contained sooner, says lead author Martin Meltzer, leader of the Health Economics and Modeling Unit at the CDC. “A release of smallpox is a nasty thing to contemplate. But with existing tools—the vaccine, isolation, and public health intervention—we can expect that, if we plan and prepare, we can stop that outbreak,” he says.

The public health community will continue to assess and adapt their strategy throughout the response process. For example, there was a global campaign to eradicate smallpox in the late 1960s. The first strategy was to vaccinate as many people as possible around the world. But the supply soon depleted and outbreaks began popping up in communities with high vaccination rates. So in Nigeria, the team adopted a different approach. They identified which village had smallpox and vaccinated everyone in that village. Then they expanded outward in concentric circles, to eliminate the spread. The strategy worked, and it’s now known as ring vaccination. “That’s how they shut down the spread of the virus and eventually eliminated it from the world,” Kortepeter says.

Those are the key steps in how a virus might spread through society. Bioterrorism poses a serious risk for which the country must continue to research and prepare, but perhaps more dangerous and more likely are the outbreaks that sprout organically. The natural world has unleashed epidemics like Sars, Zika, Ebola, and the Spanish flu, which killed millions of people exactly 100 years ago. “At least 50 million people died, and almost half of the entire world’s population was infected. The 1918 flu was arguably the greatest natural disaster in human history,” Morse says.

The public health world also struggles to correctly predict outbreaks, tending to prepare for the most recent disease rather than the one that later emerges,” Kortepeter says. “To some degree, Mother Nature is the most efficient bioterrorist. She’s always keeping us humble.”

Bioterrorism also harbors a sinister motive to instill deep fear and anxiety. For instance, the anthrax letters of 2001 bred a powerful wave of terror and paralyzed the postal system. “In many cases, bioterrorist attacks are not intended to cause a whole lot of fatalities,” Grundman says. “It’s more about public anxiety. The uncertainty that it could happen anytime or anywhere causes a level of anxiety that rocks a stable society to its core.”

The US has established numerous biodefense programs to combat potential attacks, such as BioWatch, BioShield, the Laboratory Response Network, and a number of federal research agencies. Dowling, of the Office of Biodefense Research Resources and Translational Research, explains the agency has three research domains: diagnostics, vaccines, and therapeutics. One of the biggest pushes in the vaccine realm is to develop a universal flu vaccine. “If you had one vaccine that could cross all of the influenza viruses, or at least a good portion of them, that would make a huge impact,” Dowling says. In the other two domains, scientists are creating diagnostics and drugs to combat Ebola, Zika, Lassa, and others.

Dowling agrees that a pandemic is one of society’s biggest threats, and as biotechnology becomes more accessible, the possibility of an engineered virus grows too. But as the risk of bioterrorism increases, so do our biodefense strategies. “Our tools are reacting better now,” Dowling says. “We can quickly identify a virus, get the sequence, and get some kind of countermeasure out the door pretty fast.”

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Why Ronda Rousey Will Be the Next WWE Crossover Movie Star

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We knew she was money in the Octagon, but Ronda Rousey set her price in Hollywood following an electric in-ring debut for the WWE at last night’s WrestleMania 34 in New Orleans. The former UFC champion earned a submission victory with her partner Kurt Angle over the team of Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, tapping out McMahon with her trademark “armbar” hold and taking the first step into her new role in the entertainment industry.

Rousey famously retired from the UFC in 2016 following back-to-back upset losses to Holly Holm and Amanda Nunes, but the mainstream attention surrounding the UFC’s biggest star led to her popularity stretching beyond the world of sports and into a brief three-movie run in 2014–15. Rousey landed minor roles in major actions films like The Expendables 3 and Furious 7, while making a cameo as herself in Entourage and even hosting Saturday Night Live in 2016 . Though Rousey’s initial big-screen run was largely met with a shrug from critics and a lot of doubt from producers, the decorated combat fighter’s new role on WWE programming gives her the opportunity to polish her acting chops while performing in a familiar, physical setting.

We’ve seen a handful of major motion picture stars emerge from the WWE since pro wrestling’s popularity burst through the stratosphere in the late 90s. The WWE’s action-based script often requires more acting than athleticism and has provided a well-followed stage for stars like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, John Cena, and Dave Bautista to bloom from no-name wrestlers to popular television characters to real-life movie stars over the years.

If Rousey’s plan is to follow in those like Johnson’s footsteps, then Sunday night’s debut places her on the precise path "The Rock" took to becoming one of the world’s highest paid actors—albeit, with a bit of a head start. That route has been on Rousey’s radar since she began receiving offers to act. In a 2014 interview with ESPN, Rousey said that if she was going to become an actor, then she wanted to become the best. “If 'The Rock' can become the world's highest-grossing actor, I can have that same goal,” Rousey said. “I want to be the highest-grossing actor in the world someday.”



Rousey even made her first WWE appearance alongside Johnson two years ago at WrestleMania 32, confronting Triple H and Stephanie McMahon and setting the seeds for her current rivalry with the WWE’s power couple. On Sunday night, Rousey played the part of a furious badass who was looking to prove she belonged among the WWE’s roster, convincingly reacting to every one of McMahon’s schoolyard taunts before the bell rang and then expertly blending her MMA background with a freshly harnessed pro wrestling stunt set to put on a thrilling back-and-forth match with Angle, Triple H, and McMahon. Pro wrestling matches are designed to tell stories through live-action theater, and Rousey successfully did her part in conveying theirs with few hiccups along the way.

Since making her on-screen WWE debut in late January, Rousey has been distracted by the live Monday Night RAW audience. She awkwardly executed small wrestling moves and stumbled through her lines—a dialogue issue that still remains despite her excellent in-ring performance last night. Her trip-ups on RAW didn’t bode well for Rousey’s WWE run and failed to build much confidence in her performance leading up to last night’s match, especially given previous reports that the ex-UFC star’s role in the upcoming film Mile 22 was diminished in order to reduce her acting in place of more action scenes. Going from the UFC to the WWE seems like a simple transition on paper, but acting like you’re fighting and trying to make it look real is a lot different than legitimately throwing punches.

Mike “The Miz” Mizanin, a longtime WWE performer who got his start on reality TV with MTV’s The Real World, has pointed out multiple times that being able to wrestle is only a small part of becoming a successful pro. A lot of it is being able to act. As Mizanin puts it, when it comes to the World Wrestling Entertainment, the “E” is just as important as the “W.” Rousey proved last night that she’s more than capable of being entertaining on screen, bringing the live WrestleMania crowd of 78,133 to their feet following one of the most thrilling in-ring debuts in WWE’s history. If Rousey can work out the kinks on the mic and gradually prove her ability to churn out well-rounded performances beyond fast-action stunts, she’ll likely be in line behind Johnson and other WWE alumni in becoming a major box-office attraction.

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Tony Robbins Apologized for Saying #MeToo Stories 'Won't Make You Better'

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Back in March, VICE reported that self-help guru Tony Robbins chimed into the #MeToo conversation with a controversial take—saying, in a nutshell, that some survivors who've spoken out are just looking for "significance" through "victimhood." The comments divided his followers and were slammed as misogynistic after footage of what he said went viral over the weekend.

On Sunday, Robbins apologized for essentially accusing some survivors of sexual harassment, assault, and rape of playing the victim, issuing a statement calling the #MeToo movement "a beautiful force for good."

"My comments failed to reflect the respect I have for everything Tarana Burke and the #MeToo movement has achieved," he wrote. "I apologize for suggesting anything other than my profound admiration for the #MeToo movement."

The moment that sparked the fiasco came during a March 15 seminar in San Jose, California, where a fan called Robbins out for his comments. Robbins responded to her by saying, among other things, that coming forward with stories of survival "won't make you better."

"If you use the #MeToo movement to try to get significance and certainty by attacking and destroying someone else, you haven’t grown an ounce,” Robbins said. “All you’ve done is basically use a drug called significance to make yourself feel good."

Tarana Burke, who coined the hashtag "#MeToo," went after Robbins after she heard his tirade, accusing him of misrepresenting the movement and calling the footage of his comments "gross."

Robbins's comments already seem to be turning some fans off to the world-renowned, multimillionaire life coach's dogma. Logan Wick—who attended the March seminar and has followed Robbins for eight years—told VICE he wouldn't give the motivational speaker another dime "until he makes changes to actually empower women."

"The spell has been broken," Wick said.

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Related: Will #MeToo Change the Rampant Harassment in Hollywood?

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Rick and Morty Are Going on a 'Dungeons & Dragons' Adventure

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There's still no news on whether Rick and Morty season four is any closer to getting renewed, but another welcome distraction is on the horizon. On Sunday, indie publishers IDW Publishing and Oni Press announced a crossover between the Rick and Morty comic book and Dungeons & Dragons.

The four-issue arc announced at the Chicago comic con C2E2 will follow Rick and Morty through a "high-fantasy adventure blended with the wit, humour, and intelligence the show is widely celebrated for." According to IDW, "Morty goes to Rick for help to learn about Dungeons & Dragons, the game all the cool kids at his school are playing," and "the whole Smith family find themselves on an epic quest with no escape in sight." Fantasy novelist Patrick Rothfuss and Marvel Comics alum Jim Zub are writing the story, and Troy Little, who drew a comic adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, is doing the art.

The crossover makes a world of sense to anyone familiar with Rick and Morty co-creator Dan Harmon's history with Gary Gygax's tabletop RPG. Harmon's cult classic NBC show Community devoted an entire episode to the game, and he plays with famous comedians on Harmonquest. There are also a ton of references to the game in Rick and Morty, including a fantasy episode where the duo attempts to save a village from a human-eating giant and a number of Rick's inventions that mimic spells from the game. Both titles also rely on parallel dimensions and infinite universes as a plot device.

"I love Rick and Morty with a powerful love, and I’ve played D&D since the fifth grade," Rothfuss said in a press release. "When they approached me about writing a story with both of them together? That’s some serious you-got-chocolate-in-my-peanut butter $#!& right there. I’m in. I’m all the way in. I’m gettin’ that chocolate all up in the peanut butter. Like, deep in. All the way in. It’s going to be sticky and delicious."

Rothfuss isn't the only member of the team who's used the announcement to establish his nerd cred. "The Dungeons & Dragons crew is letting Pat and I open a Pandora’s Box of insane adventure material and iconic creatures from the granddaddy of all tabletop role-playing games,” said Zub. "I wish I could say we’ll take good care of it, but, the simple truth is, this is Rick and Morty we’re talking about. No fantasy world or otherworldly plane of existence is safe."

The Rick and Morty Dungeons and Dragons comic crossover series is set to debut in August.

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Questions for the Woman Who Said Wind Blew a Bag of Coke into Her Purse

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Last month, Florida police stopped a woman in Fort Pierce for crazy driving, allegedly careening all around the road, ABC 10 reports. When Kennecia Posey, 26, rolled down her window to talk to the cop, the officer said he caught a big whiff of weed. Police searched Posey's car and said they found two small bags of drugs inside her purse—one of marijuana, and the other full of cocaine.

Admitting defeat, Posey copped to the fact that the weed in her purse was, well, hers, according to the police report. But the coke? Oh no. That was all thanks to a freak act of nature.

"I don't know anything about any cocaine," Posey reportedly told police. "It's a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse."

Police apparently didn't believe Posey's tale about a magical gust gifting her gak through an open car window, and she was arrested for felony cocaine possession and a misdemeanor marijuana charge. But there are still a lot of questions needing to be answered. First of all:

Why blame the coke on the wind but fess up to the weed?

If you figured that the police were going to buy your story about a fateful flurry blowing some blow into your purse, why not just double down and blame the weed on the wind, too? Did you make some quick mental calculations about wind gust and the weight of your nugs and think, Cops will never buy that the wind picked this bag of weed up, it's too heavy—but the coke? It's just powder. I got this, no problem.

To be honest, that logic is probably sound. Good call.

What kind of massive wind power does it take to blow a small bag inside a moving car?

Let's consider the physics of this scenario for a second. You're in a car, speeding down a roadway in Fort Pierce, Florida, presumably with your windows down, and at some point, a big rush of air sweeps a plastic bag of cocaine into your car. Even without any real knowledge of aerodynamics, that seems pretty dicey.

How strong does a gust of wind have to be to force a nearly weightless plastic bag straight into your car without getting caught in the car's slipstream? What sort of heavy-duty winds were whipping through Florida that day? The weather report says that it was pretty balmy in Fort Pierce when she was pulled over on March 21, but there's no recorded mention of any cocaine-force gusts.

Were you watching American Beauty recently, or what?

"That baggy of cocaine was, like, dancing with me—like a little kid begging me to play with it."

If you're telling the truth, how unlucky is the guy who lost his baggy of blow in a breeze?

The dude was presumably just standing there, cocaine in hand, when some big squall came forth from the heavens and tore his possession from his fingers. That's even worse than losing your hat in a windstorm. If your story is completely real and honest and true, then both you and the cocaine's original owner need to clean up some serious Karmic debt or whatever. You both have really, really bad luck.

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