It's been tense year on the Korean peninsula, with North Korea making major headway in its nuclear weapons program, and showing no signs of slowing down. In 2017, the rogue state launched 20 missiles, conducted its sixth and thus far most powerful nuclear test, and successfully tested an intercontinental ballistic missile capable of hitting mainland United States. These continued tests have sparked alarm, and debate, about how to deal with North Korea and its unstable dictator.

But living less than 60 kilometres from where the 38th parallel divides the Korean peninsula, Australian photographer Ashley Crowther says life on North Korea’s doorstep is not as tense as some media outlets would have you believe." Some things that I read are more hawkish than others and do misrepresent the situation in a way that makes it feel as if war is imminent," he says. "On the ground, here in South Korea, there isn’t a hint of war in the air. Life goes on."

I asked Ashley to reflect on a year living so close to the sabre-rattling of North Korea, and reflect on some of the images he's shot in 2017 that have stayed with him:

Ashley Crowther: A flag waver leading a protest outside Gyeongbukgung Palace in Seoul’s Gwanghwamun area, taken a few days after one of the numerous nuclear missile tests north of the border. This man was part of a nationalistic, right-wing protest that called for a first strike against North Korea if they continue to test nuclear weapons. Essentially, supporting the idea of a second Korean war. I felt that the entire protest reflected a divide between old and young Koreans. From my observations this particular protest, which was sizeable, did not have one young Korean present.

Seong-yoel Lee, spinning handmade noodles in his rustic old restaurant in Korea’s rural Gangwon-do province. Hurriedly inviting me to come in, he showered me with hospitality—which is a beautiful characteristic of Korea and its people. Our voices echoed off the walls of the empty restaurant while we ate noodles thrown into a hot soup. Mr Lee worryingly explained his worries about the rise in living expenses in Korea. “I don’t have any money, look at my restaurant,” he said. South Korea is one of the wealthiest nations in the [world;] however, meeting people like Mr Lee is a reminder that many Koreans, like him, struggle to eke out a living on such minimum wages and limited resources.

Young men on their military service in Korea

In South Korea, it is compulsory for young men to do up to two years of military service. This can range from being posted on the South-North Korean border, to civilian police postings or security guards. While the official reason is to train young men in case of an attack from North Korea, there are counter arguments that many young men mention. In Korean, the word for the military is guendae, but many young men use the term to explain how they are going to be a slave for a couple of years. It is common for those doing their service to view it as essentially free labour for the government and its security services, as their wages can be as low as 45 cents per hour. Other reasons go deeper into ideas that the military service is used to further condition young Korean men into a strict hierarchal system of obeying older people and superiors. This idea is a strong foundation of Confucian culture, something that is deeply rooted in South Korea.

Aerial photo of Seoul, where the city stretches as far as the eye can see.

Close to half of Korea’s population of 50 million live in Seoul and its metro area. It is one of the most densely packed places on the planet and truly earns the tag of a megalopolis, which can be comprehended only from above. Seoul’s pull is far-reaching and people—especially the young—flock here from rural areas to pursue careers and education or just to live that big city life. Competition is fierce. Due to this magnetic pull of Seoul rural areas across Korea are in slow decay.

VICE: Are the everyday South Koreans you’re meeting whilst conducting your street photography scared about the threat of North Korea?
It’s like a barking dog. It makes a lot of noise but never does anything. That’s a description I frequently hear from many, especially young, Koreans in regards to the North Korea issue. This explanation, in my opinion, is rooted in history. Most postwar Korean’s have grown up with constant non-materialising North Korean threats. Almost making it normal. From a general observation, people are preoccupied with careers, relationships, getting good grades, and trying to make a living. Similar to most industrialised societies.

However, that isn’t to say that Korean’s do not care about the North Korean threat. They do. A young university student, Earl Han, who I photographed for example, explained that he voted for the current president Moon Jae-In because of one reason—his position against conflict with North Korea. He said it is the job of every president to do everything they can to avoid war. On the other end of the spectrum, there are significant numbers of older generations convinced that action is required immediately. I’ve talked to older generations at recent protests that openly want a U.S. led nuclear first strike. It’s concerning considering the potential casualties and geopolitical fallout that would occur. From a national perspective, you are almost guaranteed to get a story, short or long, on North Korea throughout the Korean media landscape. It’s a near constant national issue and domestic politics, at times, can revolve heavily around North Korea policy.

A senior woman on Seoul’s subway

In Korea, like many other East Asian cultures, place great importance on age. Found in language is this cultural characteristic and also in the way people address one another depending on age. In Korean Joendet Mal (honorific) is used to address older people and Ban Mal (casual) is used to talk to younger people or close friends. At times, it can even be considered rude not to agree with someone older than you, despite them being wrong or rude. From adults to children these ideas still have a strong presence in contemporary Korean culture.

Heeja Choi

Heeja Choi, 72, putting on makeup in her small apartment during while a documentary on North Korea plays on her old Samsung TV. Heeja, part of the post-Korean War generation, didn't have an opinion on a solution between North and South Korea. Right after this image was taken, she turned to me and said, “Right now, Korea is more dangerous, but it always has been... It is too complicated."

VICE: Do you think there’s anything that “western” media is fundamentally misunderstanding about what’s going on in Korea, and how the conflict is affecting the lives of South Koreans?
It is interesting when I receive messages from people at home or other western nations asking if everything is ok or that I should consider leaving. That, to me, makes it clear that the Western media is blanketing the current political climate with some sense of fear mongering. However, on the flipside, so much of what I am reading, from the western media, is making a reasonable case against war. Mark Bowden’s article in the Atlantic "How to Deal With North Korea" makes it clear that there are no good options if conflict is the chosen policy. No matter how you look at it the cost of human life would be unimaginable if a second Korean war broke out. From a mass refugee crisis that would make Syria look like a walk in the park to the potential of Seoul, a city of 15 million people, being shelled or bombed.

If I were to point the finger, I wouldn’t point it at the western media, rather at the current US leadership. The war rhetoric spouted is extremely destabilising and does not show a good understanding of the situation on the Korean peninsula, both past and present. As Barbara Demick, author of Nothing to Envy: The Ordinary Lives of North Koreans, correctly said in a recent interview that North Korea views that being nuclear armed is the only way the current regime can hold on to power... It’s easy to tout war when you’re an ocean away from the mass devastation a war on the Korean peninsula would cause. It is a very complex situation; however, and there are no easy answers. I think that the Koreans here in the South know that too, which is why life goes on here, mostly uninterrupted.

Elevator hostess fixes her hair while assisting people all day as they travel up and down

Work and corporate culture in Korea can be harsh. South Korea ranks third globally for hours worked. On average South Koreans work over 2,000 hours per year, which is almost double Germany’s average. It is also not uncommon for workers in South Korea to work dramatic overtime for little or no pay. These overtime hours, at times, are not included in average statistics. It is still common practice in some companies that if a higher ranking employee has not left the office, no matter what the time, the lower ranks cannot leave.

Seoul's Chojidong area

Gentrification in Seoul is striking and rampant. This area, Chojidong, part of Seoul’s larger metro area is part of a redevelopment project close to a new high speed train station connecting it to the national rail network. These old businesses catered to people of lower socioeconomic backgrounds. They will soon be demolished to accommodate high end luxury apartments, such as those that loom over the area now. The poor are, at an increasing rate, being pushed further away and out of sight. Where they are going and what they will do with their lives goes largely unnoticed.

A street scene inside a relatively unchanged area of Seoul. Much of the city was devastated during the Korean War, and the majority of Seoul was build up after the war. Old districts resemble unplanned mazes that are crowded and unorganised. More than 50 years has passed since the war and Korea is continuing to undergo rapid modernisation. However, there is still, what one might call, its rough and beautiful edges. Many restaurants and shops, such as the one pictured are disappearing and taking their places are fancy new buildings and overpriced menus.

A man in mourning, alone. He was wandering a subway station in Central Seoul asking strangers and calling out if anybody had seen his wife. “This is my wife. This is my wife! Have you seen her? This is my wife.” Those were the only sentences that he was calling out and asking people while showing them her portrait. It was heartbreaking to witness such an old man in such a helpless state. It looked like he had been like that for many years.

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The 37-year old woman behind the HauntedDollys [sic] eBay storefront is at her best when she's drafting up her item descriptions. "CLEANSE YOUR HOME, THIS STATUE IS A HOUSE BLESSING!" she bangs out in 18-point capital Arial letters. "MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING EVIL LURKING IN THE SHADOWS. MAYBE YOU ARE CURSED. IT COULD BE NUMEROUS REASONS WHY YOU ARE HAVING A SPAT OF BAD LUCK. THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO HAVE PROTECTION, AND PROTECTION THAT WORKS AND IS SURE TO GET THE JOB DONE."

The appurtenance itself, a two-foot marble seraph gently considering the thistled bird's nest in her palms, is priced at $199. HauntedDollys, in her usual witchy jargon, dubs the listing a "Haunted POWERFUL Angel statue." It peacefully takes its place alongside the rest of her inventory, all bearing a similar brand: "Haunted ALIEN ENTITY CRYSTAL BALL" (a glass orb with a few stray plastic planets inside), "Haunted MAGICAL WISH GRANTING FROG" (a stone toad on a small pedestal), "Haunted MAGICAL HEALING TATTOOS" (a wax-paper sheet bearing 16 press-on Hennas). She's been managing this eBay account since June, and has racked up a 319 positive reviews and a 99.1 percent approval rating. There is only one instance of sour grapes, from an anonymous customer who was apparently disappointed with his "Haunted WISH GRANTING STAR FAE FAIRY NOTEBOOK." "I should've known this was a hoax," the comment reads. "Enjoy your cash you con."

This is the world of Haunted eBay: a loose confederation of paranormal sales-people passing on their home-cooked mysticism to souls in need. HauntedDollys's business model is quite simple. As she explains over email, her supply comes from either collectors of haunted items who are downsizing, or by taking "ordinary objects" and binding "a spirit to the vessel." ("This is either done by myself or a friend of mine who's a sorcerer," she says.) If you browse her wares, you'll find a lot of items that seem to be reclaimed from your local thrift shop—passed-off ornaments of kitsch, with a vague phantasmagoric glimmer. The real work to being a successful capitalist witch is all in the presentation; creating the perfect pitch to convince the skeptics and lifers that your inventory is more supernatural than the rest.

There's no rhyme or reason to what's deemed to be haunted, though the most popular subdivision of the paranormal eBay trade by far are children's dolls. A search for "haunted dolls" yields hundreds of results. The toys themselves are fashionably Victorian—porcelain faces, frilly dresses, rosy cheeks—and each come with their own autobiographical ghost story. Like Lillian, for instance. For sale by a merchant named Fayetality, Lillian contains the spirit of a dead ten-year old girl who cracked her head open after slipping on icy steps, according to the listing. She can communicate with a potential buyer through "spirit board, pendulum, EVP, spirit dice, and in dreams."

"Please be prepared for paranormal activity if you decide to adopt sweet Lillian," writes Fayetallity. "Be assured—she is an innocent, pure child of white light. Nothing negative will ever arise from Lillian. She is beyond kind. When you feel Lillian's presence, you feel how pure her intentions are. Lillian reduces anxiety, and keeps negative feelings as well as entities at bay. She is truly a spiritual presence that will make a believer."

The auction for Lillian's vessel is now over. The asking price: $50. That means, if you’re willing to buy into the occult window dressing, a dead child's intrinsic, immortal essence is worth about the same as the new Madden. Which... seems kinda wrong? How, exactly, do sellers of these metaphysical materials decide on price points?

Laci is a registered nurse in a neonatal care unit who moonlights as an eBay seller MysticMagicks. She's been selling haunted materials (and specifically possessed dolls) for 15 years, and tells me she appraises her goods on a variety of different ghostly barometers.

"Items are priced based off of the amount of activity a spirit exhibits and the type of spirit," she explains via eBay's messaging client. "For example, if a spirit is highly sought after then the price is increased. People tend to like spirits that are active but do not cause harm. They also like spirits with special gifts—spirits that aid with spell castings, cause visions, and vivid dreams are examples."

Another (perhaps unsurprising) thing that may increase the value of a spirit in the afterlife, is how beautiful the object they possess tends to be. This is abundantly clear on Laci's page, which ranges from a boring $25 felt jewelry box, to the $80 robe-and-bonnet donned Genevieve. As for why spirits seem to possess dolls at a higher rate than any other object, Laci tells me that they're drawn to human-shaped figures.

Both Laci and HauntedDollys stand by the integrity of their products. Laci claims those who purchase from her consistently experience "paranormal encounters," and swears she would never peddle any item that didn’t host a spirit. HauntedDollys has built herself a small, tight-knit community—holding monthly raffles, and dedicating one-on-one time with customers to "find the perfect product that's right for them." Her most popular items are her spell bags and wish-granting notebooks, the latter of which comes with a testimonial from a patron who claims its power helped restore electricity to her Florida home during Hurricane Irma.

If you’re wondering how these merchants get away with marketing the tangible qualities of items of questionable paranormal veracity, the truth is they technically can't. After all, Lillian and Genevive will likely not give you an authentic metaphysical experience, and no notebook will protect you from a Category 5 hurricane. Hell, this person is literally selling a "haunted weight loss bag" that will help "burn calories faster," by ostensibly summoning the Angel of Fitness or something.

Back in the day eBay was full of amateur witches and wizards advertising spells, hexes, and prayer circles—which were all subsequently prohibited in 2012 by a policy change on the site. That injunction forced people who sell corporeal paranormal goods to add a disclaimer to their inventory, essentially explaining that they're not guaranteeing anything spooky to happen. Fayetality spells it out right at the top of Lillian's introduction: "I am required as per eBay's policy on the paranormal to indicate that eBay forbids the sale of intangible items and this listing is for ONLY A TANGIBLE DOLL with NO promise of spirit attached. eBay requires me to say that this is all for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY."

This obviously creates a weird dynamic, where vendors of the paranormal have to give a wink and a nod to potential customers, but eBay brass hasn't stomped out their weirder side completely. What's the point of online commerce if not to allow us to be a little foolish with our money if we so choose? What is economic freedom if you can’t buy a magical and haunted wish-granting frog that comes from the astral realm, anyhow?

"I do understand why some people are skeptical about the paranormal world, but this is something you either believe in or you don't," says Laci. "For me, it's no different than any other organized religion. You must believe in the magic for the magic to work."

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If fans are unhappy with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, maybe it's because Star Wars isn't what it used to be. The humour is self-deprecating, the main cast is no longer almost exclusively white and male, and the light/dark binary struggle that underpinned the original movies has given way to more complex notions. Rogue One presented us with ostensible "good guys" who merc'd friendlies and "bad guys" who were more or less just bureaucrats who happened to be working for the Nazis; The Force Awakens gave us our first Stormtrooper with a conscience, a soldier of the Empire who defected to the other side. The Last Jedi goes further: Luke Skywalker, our original Star Wars hero, is now a gloomy hermit who wishes the Jedi to end, while the saga's latest villain Kylo Ren is a sympathetic antagonist whose actions seem almost rational.

Up until this point, the primary villains of Star Wars—Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku, the asthmatic android General Grievous—were old-school, the sort of bad guys who took pleasure in others' pain for no more reason than they were unrepentant bastards. Palpatine actor Ian McDiarmid—the only person who seemingly had any fun in George Lucas's prequels—played his Big Bad Guy with a near-Shakespearean relish. But nothing could hide the fact that the emperor's sole motivation was still one-note inherent wickedness. Meanwhile, those same prequels attempted to rationalize Darth Vader by showing how innocent young Anakin Skywalker became a homicidal cyborg, but Lucas—far from the visionary he'd been when he first created Star Wars in 1977—bungled the transformation.

Kylo Ren, who started life in The Force Awakens as an emo Vader clone but has been made infinitely more complex by Rian Johnson's latest installment, isn't simply evil—he's someone who's driven to do evil by a disturbed mental state. An unhinged, emotionally traumatized Adam Driver plays the character with the conviction of someone who, if he weren't starring in a popcorn sci-fi movie, might be a contender for this Oscar season's Best Supporting Actor category. But the key to Kylo is in the writing: Born Ben Solo to one of cinema's most famous heroes, Kylo Ren is a great Star Wars villain—perhaps the greatest—because of how believably complicated he's been drawn.

We only have a sketch of Ben Solo's childhood, but it's enough: two absentee parents, including a cynical father who thought little of his son's powers ("Han was… Han about it," says Luke in The Last Jedi of Han Solo's dismissive attitude toward Kylo's force-sensitivity), and a trusted uncle who almost killed his nephew as he slept. Throw in the simultaneous entitlement and inferiority complex that came with hailing from a much-celebrated family, and you get one mixed-up kid for whom legacy has been a burden—who seeks father figures beyond his own biological parentage, whose painful past has left him suspended in adolescence and often unable to control his own emotions. (You also, poignantly, get a person of millennial age who feels betrayed by the previous generation and has the gut instinct to just blow everything up and start over.)

Kylo is volatile—a character of extremes, both fearsome and pathetic, seductive and repulsive, superior and small. Toward the end of The Last Jedi, having spent much of the movie in a sexually charged telepathic conversation with fellow force user Rey, Kylo impulsively murders his master before giving Rey a furious speech on killing the past in a bid to win her over. "You come from nothing, you're nothing—but not to me," Kylo tells Rey, in one of the most beautifully twisted declarations of love ever uttered in a family blockbuster, before quietly pleading with her to join him like he's the most desperately lonely person in the universe.

Kylo Ren, unlike those previous Star Wars villains who were tempted to a mysterious "dark side" by an intangible power we as viewers find difficult to comprehend, is understandably—even relatably—bad. Darth Vader will always be more iconic: He’s a black knight with the unearthly baritone of James Earl Jones, the intimidating stature of David Prowse, and the sartorial style of a post-punk samurai. But that great Star Wars villain, so effective in the context of another time, wouldn't ring as true were he introduced today. It just no longer makes sense to us that cinematic evil can be that…inexplicable. Our current reality is a complicated one, coloured in shades of gray, and we're well past the fairy-tale idea that in this world there is good and there is evil just because.

Movie villains that are simply cackling wrongdoers in this day and age register as false. Marvel, for one, is frequently criticized for having a "villain problem" because its bad guys often lack clear motivation beyond the story's need for a character to pose a threat to the heroes. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, is the perfect antagonist for our complex world—a world in which one person's villain is another's warped hero, in which we view morality on a spectrum, and in which we're all too familiar with the concept of cause and effect, and how the "good guys" sometimes inadvertently help to create their own enemies. When it comes to the villains, no: Star Wars really isn't what it used to be. It's better.

According to a recent radio interview with the Detroit Cast, a Rick and Morty writer said that the wait for season four could dwarf the year-and-a-half hiatus between the sci-fi sitcom's second and third seasons. Writer and producer Ryan Ridley told the hosts that as far as he knows, none of the show's writers—including creators Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland—have even started working on it yet.

Some might argue that after blowing the lid off of Adult Swim's ratings records, the cast and crew have earned a break. While Adult Swim hasn't ordered any new episodes, Harmon seemed to confirm he had plans for season four in an interview with Entertainment Weekly. But Ridley, who also worked with Harmon on his cult NBC series Community, said he hasn't heard anything about getting back to work.

"They really take their time," he said. "I never understood why everybody—all parties, Dan, Justin, and Adult Swim—didn’t get their shit together, and make the show fast. I just don't get it. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I'm sure they all have their reasons."

Ridley said that while he highly doubts there won't be a fourth season, he doesn't expect any new Rick and Morty episodes to be released in 2018, since it took eight months to produce the show's third season after the script was finished.

"I know how long this show takes to write, let alone animate," he said. "I'd be surprised if there was a fourth season on the air anytime sooner than 2019... late 2019."

Since Rick and Morty fans really don't cope well when they don't get their way, Ridley said the network, Harmon, and Roiland should probably get their "shit together."

"Get it all together," he said, "and put it in a backpack."

Going by Ridley's assessment, the only Rick and Morty we may get to see in 2018 is a two-minute clip from a Deadmau5 show. According to the AV Club, the DJ, who famously bought a packet of Szechuan sauce for $15,350, dropped the exclusive clip for his audience on New Year's Eve.

Have you been outside lately? If you're anywhere on the East Coast of the United States, it was probably not a very pleasant experience. It snowed in Florida on Wednesday, and hospitals in Southern cities like Atlanta have seen a surge in hypothermia patients. Meanwhile, temperatures in North Dakota and northern Minnesota have been recorded in the negative 50s with windchill, which is dangerous enough to give someone frostbite within minutes. Oh, and sharks are literally freezing to death in the water.

Despite Donald Trump's tweets to the contrary, it's not insane to wonder if this fresh frigid hell has something to do with climate change. Some meteorologists have even taken to talk of a "bomb cyclone," which in the words of the always-measured and reassuring New York Post, is a sick joke by God designed to "make your life a frozen hell." But what the hell is a "bomb cyclone," and will it even be safe to go outside later on this week?

Rob Reale is a meteorologist who works as the director of education at the meterological firm WeatherWorks. He'd been working since 4 AM to draw up forecast reports for the company's clients when I got a hold of him Wednesday, but was kind enough to spend a few minutes with me on the phone explaining why it's so cold—and what's coming next.

VICE: The simple question I'm hearing most is the obvious one: Why is it so cold? I keep seeing news outlets refer a blast of Arctic air. Is this because the polar ice caps are melting, or is it more complicated than that?
Rob Reale: The answer is probably not, but it's tough to say for sure. It certainly has been anomalously cold. One thing that's typically present for the East Coast to be cold is the jet stream to cause a large ridge out in the west that makes it warm and dry. We've seen that out in California—they're in desperate need of rain. What's happening is the warm ridge is out there, and what happens over us is a trough of colder air settles in. The pattern just happens to be so that the air flows directly out of Canada between them, and we've been getting cold shots.

The coldest New Year's Eve on record in New York City was 1 degree—in 1917. If weather is getting more extreme due to climate change, why aren't we shattering temperature lows?
It's not unusual for there to be cold snaps, though I will say this is one of the most prolonged cold stretches we've had in recent memory. But I mean, it's common for brief arctic blasts to move through, and temperatures to go below normal. We just haven't had it [like this] in the past five to ten years. We're going on at least three weeks of prolonged cold air. But it's not necessarily colder than is ordinary. There haven't been too many record lows broken.

Why do I keep hearing about "bomb cyclones"? Who the hell came up with that term, anyway?
Is the word "bombogenesis" one that you've heard? That is a real weather term that has to do with rapid pressure falls below 24 millibars, which means that the [air] pressure is strengthening quite a bit. If it does that in less than 24 hours, it's considered a "bomb." This is a very strong storm that has to do with a lot of moisture being over the Gulf right now, and a disturbance that's kind of meeting up with that cold Arctic air. A lot of ingredients are there. Storms like this aren't completely out of the ordinary—we get maybe one per year. It's not a once-in-a-century storm.

"Bomb cyclone" is not a real word. I would imagine a newspaper heard "bombogenesis" and called it a "bomb cyclone." Kind of like how polar vortex became a thing. It's catchy.

What makes this different from a Nor'easter, or is it just a really big one?
This is a Nor'easter. [That's] just when there's a strong low-pressure over the Northeast. Once the storm starts affecting the Northeast, we'll call it a Nor'easter. It's not a type of storm—it's a strong storm off the coast that's affecting a certain area.

So why is the pressure dropping so drastically? And how does a pressure drop cause winds to pick up?
It's a very complicated question. If you have higher pressure next to lower pressure, that alone is what causes the wind to strengthen. So if a meteorologist talks about a high-pressure day, that's associated with light winds and mild weather. But if you have a low-pressure [area,] especially near a high pressure [one,] that gradient in that pressure is what causes winds to strengthen.

Most storms will form with a temperature gradient, which there is in the Southeast [United States]. That's why storms form a lot of times off the Mid-Atlantic and into the Northeast—the Gulf current runs through there, and there's a temperature gradient in that area. Even if it's not a air temperature gradient, it's a water temperature gradient. Then there's moisture, and a disturbance moving through. This storm has those three basic ingredients right now.

In reading about this phenomenon, I've also seen the words "hurricane," "blizzard," and "cyclone." Is this like every extreme weather phenomenon rolled into one?
It's just a very strong coastal storm. It, in a way, has hurricane characteristics. The pressure is very low. One of the reasons the winds are so strong in a hurricane is because the pressure is so low that it creates a pressure gradient. As the storm strengthens, the gradient increases, and the wind will increase. There will be 40–50 MPH winds up and down the coast. Not extreme winds, but very, very high winds.

I think people are mostly wondering how they are supposed to prepare for this weather in practical terms. Is it dangerous to, say, walk to work in this weather, or drive your car in your community, or should I put my wishful thinking about working from home to bed?
I wouldn't necessarily go out of your way to prepare for a Day After Tomorrow–type setup, because this is something that almost everyone has lived through once, or twice, or multiple times. This isn't necessarily overly dangerous. Whenever the storm hits you, though, and there's 40–50 MPH winds, no, you shouldn't be on the road. Are you gonna need to stock up for days and days? Probably not.

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For the past few years, Aad Peters has been tooling around Europe in a 42-foot-high, 230-foot-long replica of Noah's ark, bringing people onboard to check out his floating Bible-themed museum. His travels recently brought him to Urk, a small fishing village in the Netherlands—until his ship got battered by a storm of biblical proportions.

On Wednesday, 66 MPH winds broke the massive boat free from the dock it was tied to, sending it careening into Urk's quaint little harbor, the NL Times reports. With a handful of people and apparently some live animals onboard, the boat careened into a jetty and slammed into a few nearby boats, causing some serious damage and sending several ships down to their watery graves, De Stentor reports.

The seven people onboard made it off the ark without sustaining any injuries, but a few animals were stuck on the ship through the night, according to the NL Times. Emergency crews jetted out to the harbor to try to contain the damage and even sent a dive crew down to check out the boats that sank, De Stentor reports.

"Noah's Ark is on Urk unhinged," the town's mayor, Pieter van Maaren, wrote on Twitter. "The damage is quite considerable."

Wednesday's mishap was not the first time Peters's boat lost control out on the high seas. Back in 2016, it slammed into a coast guard ship off the coast of Oslo, leaving a gaping hole in the wooden vessel's hull, the Guardian reports. According to the NL Times, the hulking ship almost sailed away on its own last month. But for Peters, Wednesday's crash was the worst he's seen so far.

"We have been on the road for years and have experienced many storms, but this has never happened before," he told Omroep Flevoland.

Still, it's unlikely that Peters saw the wreck as some kind of act of God. He told VICE back in 2015 that he's not even religious, but rather "a storyteller" telling Bible stories that he thinks "need to be told."

But on Wednesday Peters's story ended a little differently than Noah's, seeing as his ark was no match for the harsh demands of Mother Nature.

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A Tim Hortons franchise run by the heirs to the famous hockey player’s estate (yes, that Tim Horton) are getting roasted on Twitter after blaming Ontario’s minimum wage increase for recent cuts to benefits, incentives and paid breaks.

After a minimum wage increase in Ontario that took effect at the beginning of this year, bumping workers’ earnings up to $14 an hour from $11.86, Jeri-Lynn Horton-Joyce (Tim Horton’s daughter) and Ron Joyce Jr. (the son of Ron Joyce, who co-founded the chain) decided to cut their employees’ paid breaks and benefits at a franchise they own. Joyce and Horton, who are married, run their franchise out of Cobourg, Ontario.

The cuts at this particular Tim Hortons came to light in a letter to their employees, which was posted on Facebook in late December and first reported by CBC News. The letter says that the changes “are due to the increase of wages to $14.00 minimum wage on January 2, 2018, then $15.00 per hour on January 1, 2019, as well as the lack of assistance and financial help from our Head Office and from the Government.”

As a complete side note, that’s included in here for no real reason, Ron Joyce Jr’s father's net worth is estimated by Forbes to be around $1.4 billion US. The online world reacted to this news exactly as you would expect it to.

The heirs aren’t the only ones to suggest a minimum wage increase hurts workers. A paper put out by the Bank of Canada recently estimated that the changes will cost Canada 60,000 jobs by the start of 2019.

The specific cuts at the Tim’s location include: no more paid breaks, meaning that “a 9 hour shift will be paid for 8 hours and 20 minutes”; cut benefits with the workers being “required to cover the cost of the benefits by the following: over 5 years of employment will pay 50% of the cost of their benefits. Employees will 6 months up to 5 years will pay 75% of their benefits cost.” Two incentives, both for working on your birthday and working six months without a sick day, have also been pulled.

One employee told CBC that while the pay at Tim Hortons was never good (it sat around $13 an hour) the benefits were and that is why they stuck around.

"I don't understand why you can take it away. Sounds like you are penalizing your staff because the government is trying to help your staff," the employee told the national broadcaster.

Calls for a boycott, for both this restaurant and the chain as whole, made the rounds Wednesday. One of the employees at the location told the CBC that with their paid breaks cut they, even with the minimum wage increase, will be taking home less money at the end of the day.

Tim Horton corporate told the CBC in an email that “almost all of our restaurants in Canada are independently owned and operated by small business owners who are responsible for handling all employment matters.”

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Last Thursday, a wave of protests broke out across Iran, with tens of thousands taking to the streets for the largest and most sustained wave of political activism in the country in years. By most accounts, what began as unrest over pocketbook issues like high food prices and unemployment soon metastasized into a broader frenzy of agitation against the Islamic regime and its focus on religious issues over economic ones.

It took about a day for Donald Trump to insert himself into the situation.

On Friday, the president took to Twitter to laud the protests as a sign Iranians were fed up with their government for its “squandering of the national wealth to fund terrorism abroad.” And he’s continued sounding off about the protests since, in part by bashing his predecessor’s Iran policies—the Obama administration was famously rather hands-off during the 2009 “Green Movement,“ the last major outbreak of protests in the country, a strategic decision then secretary of state Hillary Clinton came to regret. On Wednesday, Trump went so far as to suggest his administration may take some sort of action in support of the protesters “at the appropriate time,” though as usual with him, it’s awfully difficult to know what this actually means.

Trump’s fixation on the protests isn’t surprising. As always, he seems determined to use the issue to show he’s bigger and better than Obama. Practically speaking, he could conceivably take this opportunity to re-impose sanctions the last administration lifted in 2015 in exchange for a freeze on Iran’s nuclear program. (The waiver on those sanctions needs to be renewed every few months, and the next deadline is coming up in just over a week.) Key Trump allies have also been talking openly about adopting an explicit policy of undermining the Iranian government and pushing for regime change.

But there are signs the protests may already be flagging. At least 21 Iranians have been reported killed and hundreds arrested in recent days, and while anti-government activism continued Wednesday, it may have been overshadowed by curated pro-regime counter-protests. Still, whatever happens to quiet or bolster this show of dissent, Trump’s response has already diverged from that of his predecessors. To understand the full implications of what this administration's approach means for Iran and its political dissidents, we reached out to Jamal Abdi of the National Iranian American Council, a group promoting greater understanding between the two countries. Here’s what he told us.

VICE: When these protests broke out, given everything we know about him, how did you expect Trump to react?
Jamal Abdi: My fear was that Trump would exploit [this] for his policy agenda that his administration was hoping to push forward for a long time... that Trump [might] use this to kill the nuclear deal and change US policy firmly towards regime change in Iran. Which I don’t think will lead to regime change. It could lead to war. But more likely, it will lead to a situation in Iran where there’s a more severe clampdown… and the prospect of moving towards more open governance and greater human rights becomes even more reduced because of tensions with the United States.

How has the regime responded to Trump’s rhetoric on the protests and threats of action?
I don’t think the rhetoric has factored into the Iranian response yet. Probably that will change if Trump decides to not [continue to] waive sanctions. I see that as an opportunity for Iran’s leaders to say, Look, the United States is behind the economic grievances that sparked these protests.

With Obama, as much as there was criticism of how fast his reaction to the Green Movement or how strong his criticism was, that was the Iranian regime’s worst nightmare. You had a president who wasn’t willing to fall into these traps suggesting the US was behind the opposition and who was talking about reintegrating Iran into the global economic system.

Trump has said nice things about the Iranian people, that they’ve been held back by their current system of government. But that’s rhetorical. You couple that with new policies like piling on sanctions that actually will hurt Iranians and the fact that Trump is banning all Iranians from coming to the United States and it rings hallow in Iran. I don’t think many Iranians are looking at Trump as someone they want as the leading voice of whatever this movement ends up being.

What do you make of the idea that Trump’s comments might deter protesters?
I can’t speak for all Iranians, but I think there is a fear of destabilization. When Syria began to collapse, even during the Arab Spring, there was a sense in Iran of, Wow, the rest of the region is falling apart and things are really stable here. Many people feel disenfranchised. But there’s also this feeling of, If we push too hard, we could end up in a really bad situation.

Trump has exacerbated that, because now people [think] the US could really try to get involved. Then other players may want to get involved. I’ve heard people talk about this fear of, What if the Saudis try to get involved and send weapons into Iran? That has made a lot of people who were maybe involved in the 2009 protests or who want changes to say, I don’t want to get involved because I’m afraid what could happen with Trump and other outside actors if this goes too far.

What will happen in Iran if Trump pulls out of the nuclear deal and re-impose sanctions?
The nuclear deal is one of Hassan Rouhani’s [the moderate who won Iran’s presidency in 2013] only major achievements. It was supposed to bring economic prosperity. It hasn’t, and the majority of Iranians view it as a failure because they don’t see their lives getting better. If Trump does this, it will pull the rug out from under the Rouhani government and any hope diplomacy and moderation can make things better and will give the hardliners cover to take over.

In the short-term, if Trump reacts with sanctions that go against the economic concerns of the protestors, will that make it hard for the regime to argue, as it often does when unrest breaks out, that the people on the street are being funded or stoked by America?
Ripping up the nuclear deal will likely give ammunition to those in Iran who say outside forces are at least trying to exploit this. It will also give ammunition to those in Iran who are saying outside forces [rather than domestic policies] are responsible for Iran’s economic plight.

It’s going to come across as hypocritical if the US says, We support the demonstrators who are calling for an improved economy, so we’re going to hurt the economy. These sanctions hurt the ordinary people. They actually enable the most radical elements of Iran to enjoy a greater share of the economy. They drown private business and kill jobs for factory workers.

I also want to say that protests started as an economic but developed into a broader critique of the regime. The sanctions would actually undercut that critique. You’re sending a signal to the rest of the country that, if you pursue critiques of the regime and call for political freedoms and human rights, you’re actually doing damage to the country and undermining your own interests.

So I think it’s going to have a chilling effect on this movement.

If the protests end soon, do you think Trump’s focus will lapse before he makes any significant decision on this front?
This is probably an opportunity for what Trump wants to do that his administration is not going to let go of, even if the protests fizzle out. They are going to use this to try to push the US into a full regime-change policy. That’s where I expect things to lead, unfortunately.

Magic wand question: If you could somehow shift Trump’s reactions to these protests right now, but couldn’t erase his rhetoric to date, what would you want to see him do?
The first thing I would do is lift the Muslim ban, which prevents most Iranians from coming here. That is one of the ways the US has demonstrated a lack of solidarity with the Iranian people. Lifting that would show solidarity and give the US more credibility to comment on human rights.

From there, the best thing any administration could do is to talk about this in terms of the Iranian government’s human rights obligations. Not getting into political squabbles, but talking about the fact that Iran is a signatory to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. You could unite the international community to make sure that protesters’ rights are protected.

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

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There was no cross behind the pulpit in this church. Instead, a sign hung. It read, “Have I therefore become your enemy, because I speak the truth?” I sat in the last pew, beside a woman who would later tell me I deserve God’s wrath. She shared her Bible with me. We followed along as the pastor slammed his fist down on the pulpit, shouting, “You must have no fellowship with the ungodly. No fellowship. No fellowship!”

I am a queer woman. My knee bounced beneath her Bible. I had come for fellowship.

Last October, I visited three of the 52 organizations identified as anti-LGBT hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center. I had just returned from a year abroad to my hometown of Gulf Breeze, Florida, where LGBTQ slurs had been spray painted on an old rail bridge and a friend who is gay and Latino told me he’d experienced hate speech at a grocery store. Recent hate crime statistics from the FBI had showed that the number of reported hate crimes due to sexual orientation was increasing nationally, specifically targeting trans people of color. I am white, cisgender, female, small, more inclined to listen than to talk—privileged, in other words, and protected. I wanted to combat the prejudice of my home, to prove to myself I was part of the solution.

I had read about combating hate through short conversations and contact, promoting acceptance by “reaching out to people beyond your own group,” “establishing personal relationships with conflicting parties,” “connect[ing] with those who think differently, even if they are hateful.” I had a sleeping bag, money for gasoline, and a book on nonviolent communication. I decided to take a road trip.

The Southern Poverty Law Center identifies its anti-LGBT hate groups, which run the gamut from churches and think tanks to firms that promote anti-LGBTQ litigation and laws, in part by their use of “dehumanizing language…to portray LGBT people as, for example, sick, evil, perverted, and a danger to children and society.”

Through personal contact with these groups, I wanted to see if I could combat this dehumanizing language, which enables hate crime. Psychologist Dominic Parrott, director of the Center for Research on Interpersonal Violence, supported this understanding. “Research literature clearly shows that intergroup contact reduces prejudice (including anti-LGBT prejudice),” he wrote me. “Most scholars agree that intergroup contact is the #1 way to combat prejudice and, by extension, dehumanization that leads to violence and discrimination.”

Heidi Burgess, co-director of the Conflict Information Consortium, which promotes constructive approaches to conflict through online resources and seminars, agreed. “Hate crimes become acceptable psychologically,” she told me, “because the victim is seen as non- or less than human. Once a connection is made, and the ‘enemy’ is found to be human—even similar to oneself in some way—then the hate crime becomes more difficult to do and, hence, unlikely. Thus, your visit was…likely a very effective action.”

I’m not sure it was.

I connected with people I met. I found similarities, experienced kindness and generosity. I received garden-fresh tomatoes and an invitation to a potluck lunch. A Christian proselytizer gave my car battery a jump. I met a woman who had worked in manatee conservation, as I had, and a woman who worried about hurricanes as I do, because we both have family on the Gulf Coast.

I also experienced anti-LGBTQ prejudice. I was told that homosexuality is abhorrent, depraved, a “society-murdering plague.” Someone told me that homosexuals “should even be put to death, so strongly does God oppose this.”

These expressions of prejudice most often came from the very same people with whom I’d established connection, found similarities, and engaged in dialogue.

Watch Broadly explore what it means to be transgender in the Mormon church:

The organizations I visited were all located in the Southeastern US; they included two churches that espoused anti-LGBT rhetoric and a group which distributes pseudoscientific, anti-LGBT literature. I will leave them anonymous to avoid offering publicity or increased visibility to these groups. Though my experience was specific to my demographic and personality, it was not, I think, specific to these three hate groups.

The friendliest woman I met was a church member. We spoke between Bible study and Sunday service. She shook my hand, said of my queer identity, “Most around here are friendly. They don’t need to talk about things like that.”

We spoke about education. (I teach writing workshops for public school students.) We discussed literacy teaching strategies. She gave me a book of classroom writing exercises from her car. “It’s going downhill,” she said of public education. As evidence, she listed large classes, no cursive, poor test scores. “Even you,” she said. “I don’t think you should be teaching kids.” I laughed. I thought she was joking. “I wouldn’t want you teaching my kids.”

A pastor from her church offered me the warmest welcome of my trip. He shook my hand. I said I was queer. He said, “We’re glad to have you.” I’d arrived an hour before the service. He offered me a hot drink, said I should make myself at home. We agreed that promptness and a desire to keep busy were things we had in common. When he asked why I was at his church, I told him I was interested in understanding anti-LGBTQ prejudice and had seen anti-LGBTQ messages on his church’s old website—it had claimed that all homosexuals are mentally ill perverts, and that all gays were deserving of AIDS, hellfire and salvation. He replied that prejudice isn’t part of it—a sinner is a sinner.

I called him a few days later to continue our discussion. He told me the Bible was clear about sexuality, and quoted Leviticus 20:13: “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.” I asked him why, and he quoted Leviticus back to me again. What harm came from a same-sex relationship? Leviticus again. What do you think? Doesn’t matter, he said. I could not have dialogue with Leviticus 20:13. I thanked him.

He was the one who told me homosexuals should be put to death, and said he he was not threatening me, just speaking “the truth in love” so I could meditate upon it.

On the last day of my trip, I tried to define hate with members of a hate group. I’d already told them I was queer. One church member asked me how I’d come to visit their service. I told her the church was listed on the SPLC’s anti-LGBT hate map. She said the SPLC confused hateful with Christian. (They aren’t. Organizations which only oppose same-sex marriage or homosexuality on Biblical grounds are not considered hate groups by the SPLC.) Her church had said LGBTQ Americans would bring about the apocalypse, and its pastors' sermons were regularly anti-gay. But if I was looking for hate, she said, I should read the online messages and mail the church receives. I should understand there was hate coming from my side, too.

To ground the conversation and move it away from accusations, I asked her how she would define hate. Other congregation members joined us. We tried to settle on a definition. This was dialogue—not pleasantries, actual dialogue. I was one of the last to leave. When I reached my car, I saw the only slur of my trip—the word “fag” written in the road dust on my window.

I scrubbed it out with my sleeve and drove toward home, past the Family “Flee” Market and a washer/dryer Pick-Ur-Part, wondering why I’d so badly failed. Despite the dialogue and connection I sought out, I had not managed to overcome prejudice.

When I asked Dr. Parrott, he explained effective contact relies on certain conditions—equal status between the two groups, common goals, even mutual dependence. Clark Olson, from the Institute for Civil Dialogue, an organization which promotes techniques for productive communication, said dialogue similarly relies on specific conditions—ground rules for civility, more then two viewpoints, a neutral space and facilitator.

But even if I failed to meet these conditions, shouldn’t handshakes, eye contact, given names—small but significant recognitions of humanity—have had some effect? Wasn’t my humanity alone an argument against their prejudice?

Perhaps not.

At a Christian bookstore, I was given a booklet which argued against “dehumanizing and derogatory stereotypical descriptions of homosexuals,” because they cause Christians who meet homosexuals to “feel as if they’ve been misled by the rhetoric and conclude, ‘They are actually ‘nice people.’’” The booklet cautions, “That a sinner is a nice person, does not negate what the Bible has to say about their sin.”

We know you are human, said the people I met, clasping my hand. We know you are friendly, they said, and were friendly in turn. We cannot be moved by that, they said, and pointed to Romans 1: 24-27, to the same Leviticus quote I’d heard several times. How can friendliness combat intolerant “truth”?

I don’t know who wrote “fag” on my car. It might have been the boy I met who said he’d never hated anyone, or the woman who told me that only after I’d married and divorced would I understand hate. It might have been the woman who told me, “The people I hate, I love them, too. Hate’s just disappointment you nurse a long time.” I suspect it was someone with whom I’d shared conversation, someone whose story I’d heard, and who’d heard mine in turn. It was likely someone who could not be deterred by familiarity, connection, dialogue. The least I could hope was that I'd planted a seed of doubt in their mind.

But, as Clark Olson reminded me, dialogue isn’t designed to deter action. Connection and dialogue are primarily tools of understanding, not tools of combat. I still don’t understand hate. The people I met didn’t either. But they did teach me this—to combat intolerance we will need more than handshakes and how d’ya do’s, more than similarity, conversation, connection. This doesn’t mean conversation can’t combat intolerance (studies continue to show it does) or that reaching out to those who are different from you is a waste of time, only that expressions of prejudice are complicated, motivated by multiple factors, and in my experience not easily or quickly "solved."

Luckily, many organizations nationwide have invested time and resources in fostering tolerance, whether efforts explicitly aimed at nurturing LGBTQ acceptance within the church or those who work to advance queer tolerance in general. Near the end of my trip, I volunteered at a Pride event where an LGBTQ-friendly church was tabling. I told them about my trip. They said, “Many interpretations come from the letter of the law.”

I said, “I’m glad you’re here.”

They said, “We’re glad you are, too.”

It was enough.

Morgan Thomas received her MFA from the University of Oregon and was the recipient of a 2016-2017 Fulbright ETA grant to Mongolia.

On an all-new episode of VICELAND's MOST EXPENSIVEST, 2 Chainz and Vic Mensa head to Topgolf in Las Vegas to check out the driving range's most exclusive suite. For about $8,000, the two rappers get bottle service, hors d'oeuvres, and as much lobster tail as they can eat—along with a private instructor to help them out with their game.

MOST EXPENSIVEST airs at 10:30 PM on VICELAND. Find out how to tune in here.

A Christmas and lingerie-themed birthday party outside Atlanta devolved into chaos on New Year's Eve after cops allegedly found a small amount of weed inside and carted more than 60 people off to jail, WSB-TV reports. Now, dozens of folks who were just looking to have a good time are fighting charges they say they don't deserve.

Deja Heard told WSB-TV she rented the house in Cartersville, Georgia, on Airbnb for her 21st birthday. According to WXIA, the December 30 party promised a few Jell-O shots, "drunk/strip Twister," and beer pong, but quickly got out of hand after a neighbor phoned the local police department to report hearing gunshots.

Photo of invite via NBC 12 News

When they showed up just after 2 AM on Sunday, the cops said they smelled pot outside the party and walked into the house to investigate, finding roughly 70 people inside—including a few high school athletes, the Cartersville Daily Tribune reports. According to a press release, the local cops called in the Bartow-Cartersville Drug Task Force to search the property. The search allegedly turned up a small amount of weed, a stolen handgun and two other firearms, a baggie of what's believed to be cocaine, and drug paraphernalia.

When no one fessed up to owning the pot, at least 63 partygoers between the ages of 15 and 31 were booked and charged for possession of less than an ounce of weed, the Daily Tribune reports.

"All the subjects at the residence were placed under arrest for the possession of the suspected marijuana which was within everyone’s reach or control," Bartow-Cartersville Drug Task Force's major, Mark Mayton, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

In interviews with WSB-TV, those arrested Sunday claimed the cops barged in without a warrant, and that the gunshots they responded to were actually just fireworks. Attendees also said the police roughed them up, binding them in zip ties and threatening to tase them.

"All of us are innocent," Heard told WSB-TV. "It's just not right."

Several folks who were arrested have hired lawyers to fight their charges, and Georgia's NAACP has stepped in to help investigate what went down on Sunday morning. According to BuzzFeed News, the partygoers were each slapped with $1,000 bond, and some remained in jail until Tuesday before posting it.

Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on i-D.

I recently went through a crushing breakup that happened quite suddenly. For weeks, it left me reeling. The parting forced me to recognize some harsh truths, and to reevaluate who I am and what I want. Being interested in science and psychology, I also wondered what research has to say about the phenomenon.

Here are a few things I’ve learned.

Mood swings

One of the most striking things is that even compared to past breakups, in this case, my emotions shifted quickly and unpredictably. One moment I’d feel upbeat and positive — thinking that despite being difficult, it’s all for the best. The next, other thoughts would intrude, and I’d sink back into feeling sad, angry, or fearful. Or I’d question whether or not I’d made the right call in breaking it off. Such emotions are normal, of course, and I’ve taken it as a chance to meditate on the impermanence of emotions and other life circumstances. But what exactly drives these wild swings?

Grace Larson, a doctoral candidate at Northwestern University who has studied romantic breakups, says that close partners help us regulate our emotions, our circadian rhythms — when we go to sleep and wake up, when we get hungry — and other aspects of our physiology. We also look to partners as “attachment figures,” who make us feel secure and with whom we share our feelings and many activities. Thus, when that relationship is no more, our physical cycles, and emotions, become dysregulated. “It completely makes sense that without that, for a while, your emotions will be out of whack,” she says.

“Like a lot of life’s experiences, break-ups are a mixture of positive and negative outcomes,” says Gary Lewandowski, professor and chair of the department of psychology at Monmouth University. “Even if you’re sad about a relationship ending, chances are there are positives as well, such as more time to focus on yourself and your friends, etcetera. Even if you initiated the breakup, while you may feel better overall because you were more prepared, you’re still going to have some negative feelings such doubting whether you did the right thing or guilt about hurting your partner.”

Feeling the pain

One of these negative emotions is feeling hurt, and research shows that emotional loss does actually seems to act on the brain similarly to physical pain. In a study published in 2011 in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers put participants in a functional MRI machine, which measures patterns of brain activity. Then, they showed people an image of their ex, with whom they’d recently broken up. Later, they exposed the participants to a painful (but not harmful) sensation of heat. Both experiences caused a similar level activation in the brain. “These results give new meaning to the idea that rejection ‘hurts,’” the researchers wrote.

Withdrawal

While there’s pain, there’s also a feeling like withdrawal. Some research suggests that romantic love can impact the brain similarly to an addictive drug like cocaine, and that the loss of this love can lead to biochemical effects similar to withdrawal. I don’t like this comparison, because it conflates one healthy and life-affirming thing with something destructive and enslaving. And it also only looks at the brain from a materialistic standpoint, which has its limits. Regardless, the fact is that there are biochemical parallels between love and addiction on the one hand, and breakups and withdrawal on the other. Good ways to work through this process include exercise and socially bonding with new and old friends.

It helps to talk it out

When you build an intimate relationship with somebody, it’s not surprising that your sense of identity can change. For a time I dated a woman whose family made it clear that they wouldn’t approve of me unless I converted to Judaism. Although the relationship didn’t work out and I didn’t convert, I seriously considered a significant identity shift that wouldn’t have otherwise crossed my mind. One of the many challenging parts of breaking up is having to address this question: Who am I now that I’m not with my partner?

Psychologists call this rejiggering process “self-concept reorganization.” In a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, Larson and University of Arizona psychologist David Sbarra conducted an experiment in which they had 210 undergraduates come into the lab following a breakup. A total of 120 of the students came in four times over the course of nine weeks, during which time they spoke to researchers about their breakup, and the psychologists took physical measures like blood pressure. The other 90 students just came in once at the beginning and end of the nine week period. The former group fared better and reported less “self-concept disturbance over time.” In other words, they seemed to be more clear on who they were independent of their ex.

Compared to the 90 who didn’t come in four times, these 120 also had “decreases in breakup-related emotional intrusion, loneliness, and the use of first-person plural words when describing the separation.” Larson concludes that these changes may be the results of talking about what they were going through with the psychologists. Regardless, the results suggest that it’s helpful to confide in friends and family about what you’re going through, not only in terms of emotional support but also to help cognitively process what’s going on.

Rejection really does affect the heart

Processing a breakup involves not only the brain and the mind but also the body. An interesting 2010 paper in the journal Psychological Science relates an experiment in which researchers showed the faces of unknown people to study participants. After being informed that the person “rejected” them, the participants heart rate slowed down. This suggests a disturbance of the parasympathetic nervous system, which governs the automatic processes of the body at rest, which are sometimes called the “rest and digest” functions.

In another paper in Psychosomatic Medicine, researchers looked at 70 divorced men and women. Participants were asked to reflect on their divorce, while the researchers measured each person’s blood pressure. Men who were still emotionally upset about their divorces showed increases in blood pressure upon reflection, while women generally did not.

Regardless of how long you were with somebody, breakups can be incredibly difficult. But you are likely to come out stronger, and with a better sense of who you are and what you want. Researchers suggest that the best way to cope is riding out the emotions and feeling them deeply, as opposed to trying to hide from them or numb the feelings away. Lewandowski says his own research “finds that writing about the experience, particularly focusing on the positive aspects that you may otherwise ignore, promotes positive emotions post-breakup.” Other things that help include learning new skills or trying new activities, pursuing enjoyable hobbies, immersing oneself in work, and hanging out with friends and family.

And then there’s the most obvious factor: Time. Time heals all wounds. While of course there’s no magic interval (every person and situation is different), one bit of positive news is that research shows that most people tend to overestimate how long it will take to get over a breakup. And with luck, the next relationship will be better.

As Adele would say: “Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.”

In addition to oversleeping and working lifelessly through the last of the Quality Street like oral sex on a hangover, procrastination is January’s definitive characteristic. You probably woke up on Monday with a sore head, a bloated stomach and the overwhelming feeling that you must become a completely different person immediately. This is why we make New Year’s Resolutions – not to improve the quality of our lives, but to attempt to warp ourselves into someone much better. And we fuck it. Every one of us. Every single time.

Despite having the requisite tools at our disposal – the great outdoors, Amazon, the ability to turn our phones off – we simply cannot better ourselves. There are a select few who get bang into running and spend the rest of their lives Instagramming pictures of fog in the park at 6am. But you? You will register at a Leisure Centre and go swimming precisely thrice. You will have salad for lunch for a week before making the mistake of having one pint, two pints, six pints, and a kebab. Come January 20, you will be found wrapped in a duvet cover that hasn’t been changed since November, binge watching a period drama while screaming down the phone as HMRC’s hold music surrounded by a pandemonium of unorganised receipts and used mugs. Yes. We can all set goals, we can all make lists. But how do you actually follow through without getting distracted, clicking intermittently between Facebook and Netflix until the shops start blasting Slade again?

Guess how long it took me to write even that paragraph. Actually, don’t. The answer is objectively "too long". Wars have been settled faster, probably. After walking into my first working day of 2018, I simply sat down, ate a banana, and spent [redacted] minutes staring at a blank Google document thinking about soup. All of which is to say: my name is Emma and I am a raging procrastinator.

Despite what you might think, procrastination isn’t simply a time management issue, it’s an emotional one. In some cases it’s pretty straightforward: you don’t want to do your taxes because literally who does, you don’t want to write that essay for uni because you’d rather be sinking an endless conveyor belt of VK at an 80s cheese night. So instead you tell everyone “sorry, I have to work” for a week, spend most of that time scrolling through Reddit conspiracies about the moon, and eventually rush through the task six hours before its deadline. In other cases – putting off something you actually want to do, for example – procrastination can be more nuanced.

Like drinking or social withdrawal, procrastination is a maladaptive coping strategy that temporarily addresses a problem by avoiding it entirely. It is, in essence, picking half your wardrobe up off the bedroom floor and shoving it under the bed. Researchers have revealed that procrastination is a risk factor for poor mental health, poor physical health and other aspects of well-being.

The act of avoiding something itself is fairly unloaded, but the guilt and shame that comes after makes you put it off again, which leads to more guilt and shame – and on the horrid cycle goes, until the simple task of texting your aunt back is now tantamount to dumping a partner of eight years.

In an act of desperation, I spoke to Dr. Timothy Pychyl – an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Carleton University and founder of The Procrastination Research Group, which does exactly what it says on the tin.

“The reason people procrastinate is pretty much the same for everyone in the sense that we face a task that we intended to do earlier,” he explains, “and then our emotional response to the task is simply: 'I don’t want to’ or ‘I don’t feel like it’. The thing is, our motivational state doesn’t have to match the task at hand, although many people typically believe it does.”

At this point it’s probably worth mentioning that I am a highly unreliable case study for this phenomenon since I often ignore pressing tasks because I’m clinically depressed – haha! – so I tried to speak to some other people who do things about how good they are at doing them.

“My procrastination is an expression of fear, I think,” London-based yoga teacher Lis tells me, “And my biggest fears are change and my ability to do stuff. So if I’m afraid of moving house, because my gut-brain tells me that evacuating means leaving behind everything I know, then I might put off packing my life up by organising paper bank statements or checking old stockings for holes by wearing them on my arms.”

Obviously, procrastination manifests different for everybody. Some people blow through all their #career #goals with Terminator-like intensity, but let their dishes transmogrify into rancid tower in the sink. Others regularly swear to use their leisure time to do more reading and then spend months binging all nine seasons of Seinfeld or becoming a memelord. I, personally, have been threatening to take up the piano again for the last ten years. So far the closest I’ve come to doing that is telling my dad that no, he cannot get rid of the electric keyboard I’ve left rusting in my nan’s garage because I will obviously need it.

People’s motives for procrastinating are different, too. I could tell you that I’ve been using my small amount of free time to do better, more realistic things, like doing volunteer work or learning some recipes that aren’t pasta-based. But the truth is I’ve routinely put it off because I would sooner die than not be good at something immediately. Which is ridiculous, but not uncommon. Lis tells me she feels similarly.

“I am my own biggest bully,” she says, “I am very unforgiving about not being able to do things expertly on the first go, even if I wouldn’t hold anyone else to this standard. Since figuring this out, I've started removing myself from the daunting task for a while, or breaking it into bite-size chunks. Naturally this feels condescending and I tell myself as much, but once the stress hormones are no longer flooding into my bloodstream and I regain some sense of self and tranquility.”

This, Tim tells me, is referred to as perfectionistic concern. It isn’t necessarily related to procrastination, but can be if you also happen to be an impulsive person. “If we’re impulsive, we’re more likely to escape negative feelings and procrastinate,” he says, “And if you’re defined as a socially-prescribed perfectionist, you’re more likely to procrastinate because you’re trying to live up to unrealistic expectations of others.”

At this point it all starts to feel a bit too much like therapy, so I decide to speak to an objectively high achiever and see how they deal with things. At the age of 24, Ellie is getting a doctorate in Art History at King’s College London and spent last year working on an exhibition at Tate Britain alongside its curators. All of which seems, to horribly re-contextualise a phrase from Sex and the City, “good on paper”. She is also a self-confessed “horrible procrastinator”.

“Procrastination usually comes from a fear of getting something wrong, or worrying that what I'm doing is a bit shit,” Ellie says, “This means the procrastination isn't even fun, it's often just a kind of paralysis, and usually means consuming a thousand memes and occasionally ending up on someone's Facebook profile who I haven't spoken to since year 11 maths.”

And here we are again: back at the table of self-defeat, gorging on the neverending buffet of social media and fear of failure. But the fact that society hasn’t totally collapsed suggests that these cycles can been broken; procrastination has to come to an end at some point.

“I suppose this is where I could suggest The Pomodoro Technique,” Ellie says, “But in all honesty it was listening to "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield that got me through my masters degree. Simple stuff like writing to-do lists and answering emails always helps me to focus more, as well as not-so-simple stuff like learning to be kind to yourself about your own work, and having reasonable expectations around your own productivity. Sometimes procrastination is part of the process. It's better to accept that and make yourself some tea than to sit in a pit of self-loathing.”

The thing about New Year’s Resolutions is that they’re famously easy to break because they’re so nebulous. “Lose weight, exercise more, eat better… These are what we might think of as anemic intentions because they are so vague as not to have any real strength or force,” Tim says, “So, it’s not so much that these goals feel insurmountable because of pressure, but that they’re are typically our most difficult because we have failed many times before.”

The best and most effective method of coping with procrastination is to cop to the fact that you’re never going to feel like doing The Thing. So, instead of putting it off, ask yourself what would be the next action to take if you were to do The Thing. “Make this action as small and concrete as possible,” Tim explains. “When we phrase things like this, we see that we can do that and we move forward instead of avoiding. This little bit of progress fuels our well-being and our motivation, and we’re able to take another little step.”

Basically, you have a better chance of doing something if you take it one tiny conquerable piece at a time. You start a big block of writing with a single sentence; you wouldn’t have full sex without first doing some snogging and that. So go forth, listen to Natasha Bedingfield, and interpret this whole thing as “yeah, that’s right! I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want!” and continue to be your eternally unimproved self. We all know you’re going to.

@emmaggarland

Justin Timberlake has officially rebranded himself. The ramen-haired boyband heartthrob turned soulful pop star once again transformed—this time into a wilderness enthusiast.

Timberlake released a trailer for his new album, Man of the Woods, on Tuesday, portraying an earnest and introspective version of himself who appears to have a newfound love for Bon Iver, campfires, and wading through lakes, fully clothed.

During Wednesday's episode of Desus & Mero, the hosts dissected the new album teaser, which Desus called "American History MAGA."

You can watch the latest episode of Desus & Mero for free online now, and be sure to catch new episodes weeknights at 11 PM on VICELAND.

Everything you need to know about the world this morning, curated by VICE.

US News

Trump Threatens to Take Bannon to Court
The president’s lawyer Charles Harder accused Bannon of violating a non-disclosure agreement and giving cause for a defamation case with comments he made to Michael Wolff for a new book. The former White House strategist reportedly told Wolff that Donald Trump Jr.’s meeting with Russians at Trump Tower was “treasonous." Trump reacted angrily to the published excerpt, issuing a statement claiming Bannon had “lost his mind.”—VICE News

Manafort Sues Mueller and the Justice Department
The former Trump campaign chairman filed a lawsuit against the special counsel, the Department of Justice, and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein on Wednesday. The suit alleges that their actions in setting up and pursing a wide-ranging special investigation into Russian election meddling have been “arbitrary, capricious, and not in accordance with the law.” A DOJ spokesperson called the suit “frivolous.”—VICE News/NBC News

Trump Gives Up on Election Fraud Dreams
On Wednesday, the president scrapped his own commission designed to look into false claims—by him—that widespread voter fraud took place during the 2016 election. In a statement explaining his decision to use an executive order to dissolve the panel, Trump blamed the “many states” who refused to provide information on voters.—VICE News

Flawed Microchips Vulnerable to Hacking, Researchers Say
Security researchers have found two significant defects in the Intel, ARM, and AMD chips that power almost all computer devices and servers around the world. Both weaknesses—named Meltdown and Spectre—leave microprocessors susceptible to data theft. One researcher said the Spectre flaw would “live with us for decades.”—The New York Times

International News

Australia Wants to Be World Leader in Medical Weed
The Australian government is drafting legislation to allow the export of marijuana for medicinal purposes in a bid to compete with leading exporters Canada and the Netherlands. The health minister, Greg Hunt, said he wants “to give Australian farmers and manufacturers the best shot at being the world’s number one exporter of medicinal cannabis.”—BBC News

French President Plans Crackdown on Fake News
President Emmanuel Macron has proposed legislation aimed at stopping the spread of fake news online. Under his rules, websites and social media platforms in the country would have to have to explain who is paying for sponsored content, and limits would be placed on such spending. “If we want to protect liberal democracies, we must be strong and have clear rules,” he said.—The Guardian

Israel to Investigate Death of Disabled Palestinian Protestor
Military police will examine how 29-year-old Ibrahim Abu Thurayeh died at a December demonstration against the Trump administration’s decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital. The UN high commissioner for human rights, Zeid Ra‘ad al-Hussein, has claimed Thurayeh, who used a wheelchair, was shot by Israeli soldiers at the Gaza-Israel border.—Reuters

Everything Else

Trump to Attend College Football Final
The president is said to be planning to show up at the College Football Playoff national championship game on Monday, despite Kendrick Lamar playing the halftime show. Lamar called Trump a “chump” on his track “The Heart Part 4.”—USA Today / Vulture

Ellen Page Shares News She Got Married
The Juno actress revealed she wed dance teacher Emma Portner on Instagram. “Can’t believe I get to call this extraordinary woman my wife,” Page wrote alongside photos of the wedding rings and the couple together.—AP

Tony Blair Rejects Trump Surveillance Story
The former British Prime Minister refuted a claim in Michael Wolff’s new book that he once told Jared Kushner UK intelligence could be monitoring Trump’s campaign. “This story is a complete fabrication,” Blair said.—The Guardian

Spotify Reportedly Set to Go Public
The streaming company has filed initial documents with the feds to go public on the New York Stock Exchange, according to reports published Wednesday. Spotify, last valued at $15 billion, is apparently keen to make the move in the first quarter of 2018.—Noisey

Probably No More ‘Rick and Morty’ Until 2019
Writer and producer Ryan Ridley said the Adult Swim show was set for another long hiatus, noting he would be surprised “if there was a fourth season on the air anytime sooner than 2019... late 2019.”—VICE

Make sure to check out the latest episode of VICE's daily podcast. Today we're digging in to how Black Mirror portrayed emergency contraception this season.

Dear So Sad Today,

How do we survive amidst the mainstream trash of generation K (K for Kardashian), the age of pointless affectations, excessive navel-gazing, and existing only for looks?

Thanks,

Kaught

Dear Kaught,

I know. The Ks are everywhere. And it only seems to be getting worse. They’re proliferating! How many more of them are there going to be? Their breeding seems infinite.

For years I did a good job of escaping the Kardashians. I didn’t watch the show or fall into clickholes. I remained dispassionate. Then one day I found myself in a 3-hour google vortex involving the true substance of Kylie’s lips and who Scott Disick was fucking. Occasionally, we all fall in the hole. Have compassion for yourself if you do.

But as you pointed out, it’s not just the Kardashianization of it all, but the proliferation of superficial corporate signifiers—particularly in headline jargon—that’s a real creeper. The other day, a friend of mine (who is neither stupid or superficial) referred to an online clothing chain as EVERYTHING, as in, “that store is EVERYTHING.” At first, I wanted to say, “No! Look what they’ve done to you! The universe is everything! Love is everything! The mystery is everything! That’s just a fucking boutique.” But we must have compassion for others who have drank the elixir. When we’re all swimming in it, it seems impossible not to.

So what do we do? In attempting to parse himself from the social meganarratives of conformity that bled from the 50s into the 60s, Timothy Leary said, “Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out.” For me, nowadays, I’d say it’s more a question of: “Go Away, Go In, Create.”

In terms of “Go Away,” I do mean flee humanity. Get yourself to the nearest woods, desert, pond, river, lake, or field where there are very few people. If you live in a city and transportation out of the city is impossible, find an abandoned stairwell. Just sit there. Take in the glory of silence, of emptiness, the way there is no media fingerprint on anything. Feel yourself miss, and even crave, that media. Fight the urge to tweet about silence. Don’t Instagram the fucking trees. But have compassion for that instinct.

In terms of “Go In,” it’s time to start meditating. Despite what some Silicon Valley bros will tell you, meditation is free, requires no equipment, and any human being can do it. I’ve been meditating for many years, the first ten of which I used no instruction other than a few free classes, podcasts, and YouTube videos, and can truly say that inner space is the one place on Earth that’s actually your own. It’s where we can have an infinite quantity of something (nothingness) that won’t hurt us. It’s where we get to be truly free.

Of course, we don’t always feel free in innerspace. Some days it’s bliss and some days Khloe Kardashian’s baby bump sneaks in there and we think about that. It’s fine. We are thinking creatures. If you can’t stop thinking it doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. You’re probably doing it right. Trust that those thoughts need to be purged.

As for “Create,” it doesn’t matter whether you are an artist, writer or musician, or not. The point is that you are making something that is your own brainchild and not consuming someone else’s. Anyone can make something—be it a long, handwritten letter to a friend, a giant stack of sandwiches for the unhoused in your neighborhood, or something craftier. The point is that it’s you dictating the narrative, not the Kardashians.

xo

So Sad Today

Dear So Sad Today,

You say in your book, “I know I have an ocean of sadness and I have been damming it my whole life. I always imagined that something was supposed to rescue me from the ocean. But maybe the ocean is its own rescue—a reprieve from the linear mind and into the world of feeling. Shouldn’t someone have told me this at birth? Shouldn’t someone have said, ‘Enjoy your ocean of sadness, there is nothing to fear in it,’ so I didn’t have to build all those dams?”

How do I enjoy my “ocean of sadness”? Feeling sad things so much just makes me unhappier. Feeling anything so much in fact. I feel the same as you do about how people like us spend so much time building dams, but could we even avoid it? The ocean of sadness sometimes comes in waves but many other times comes as a whole ocean and it’s quite terrifying not knowing what is gonna happen the next time.

Thanks,

Swimmer

Dear Swimmer,

I find that I have to take things one day at a time, or one feeling at a time. It’s important for me to remember that everything is always changing. Feelings are scarier to me when they seem permanent, like an eternal state that is going to suffocate me. I can perceive one wave as an entire ocean, forgetting that it will always break—even if there is another, similar wave behind it.

I’ve also discovered that many of the things that felt like “the way” out of sadness ended up being bad for me. So I guess what I am saying most of all is beware of what seems to be “the cure” for overwhelming feelings, for being human, and focus more on incremental changes. Don’t buy into anything that says it can dam the bad feelings permanently. Don’t let our society’s focus on selling you happiness make you feel like there is something wrong with you.

Of course, it is human to seek to escape negative feelings just as it is human to have them. There are moments in my life where I am grateful for being such a sensitive person, but it’s usually after I’ve gone through something—not during. Everyone seeks refuge in things that might not benefit us, to some extent. But to totally eradicate that sadness is to eradicate one’s own humanity.

On the @sosadtoday Twitter account, I appear to be sad all the time. That’s because it’s only conveying one side of me—the side I don’t feel like I can express in waking life. It’s my outlet for feelings I’ve had to “dress up” IRL. Before I found a way to express these feelings via the account, my attempts to eliminate them almost killed me. Sadness seeks to be felt. It will always come out in one way or another. And the less we strive to feel good all the time, or present ourselves as “all good” (inhuman), the more fully-integrated we are.

xo

So Sad Today


Buy So Sad Today: Personal Essays on Amazon, and follow her on Twitter.

“New year, new me” is one of those lies we tell ourselves like “my parents did the best they could’’ or “wearing sweatpants in public is acceptable.” I should know, I usually made it to about January 9 before I was up to my neck in deep-fried ice cream covered in Jack Daniels with my new gym membership on fire in a paper shredder. But I’ve learned that beating an addiction is not impossible. In 2009 I was a 240-pound, alcoholic cocaine addict who lived in my mom’s basement. I fully expected my addictions to kill me before I turned 30. And they almost did.

In 2015 I drank heavily nearly every day and had a cocaine relapse after going two years without it. I smoked weed everyday. I also did Oxycontin, MDMA, magic mushrooms, and—considering what dealers are known to cut drugs with—probably a fair bit of battery acid too. In between, I was drinking five cups of coffee and going through a pack of smokes to keep me standing. Add in a McDonald’s meal with a side of porn before I’d call it a night, all paid for with credit cards. In December of that year I was diagnosed with my second bout of pancreatitis one week before my 29th birthday. Since that day two years ago I haven’t had a single drink. After some relapses, I haven’t done hard drugs in over a year.

Nine months ago I started a podcast called Alex Wood Quits Everything, which has seen me also quit weed, caffeine, biting my nails, cigarettes, red meat, dairy, porn, credit cards, and gossip. The last three items on my list for the podcast are sugar, social media, and my smartphone. I’ve learned through my experiences and interviewing drugs, food, shopping, porn, gambling, cigarette, and anger addicts for my podcast, that everyone’s path to quitting addiction is different. The advice I have to offer is simply what has worked for me and my hope for anyone reading this is that they can take something from that.

The first addiction I ever quit was cocaine. I was 22 years old. I had been doing coke recreationally (which is a hilarious term for drug use, it sounds like I was in a bowling league where we do cocaine) for a few years. I was asked to perform at the Just for Laughs festival in Montreal—a dream come true for a Canadian comedian. It lit a fire under me to reach for the stars and throw off the shackles of my… OK that didn’t happen. It lit a fire under aluminum foil and I reached for cocaine to try freebasing it. Over the next few months I spent every dime I had on cocaine. As it turns out cocaine costs more than a few dimes, so I also racked up an $1,100 debt to a drug dealer. One night I ended up throwing up onstage from withdrawal sickness and a week later my nose exploded with blood right before I was to go onstage. It felt like I was in the last 25 minutes of the movie Blow, if Johnny Depp lived with his mom and never got laid.

I went cold turkey. I borrowed money from a friend to pay off the dealer because I was pretty attached to my unbroken legs. I didn’t leave my mom’s basement for over a month and cried myself to sleep every single night. I contemplated suicide. I had felt nothing but emptiness and depression for that whole time, until one day Miley Cyrus saved me. I had just got out of the shower and heard a beautiful guitar riff coming from the other room where I had left the television on. It immediately made me feel good. Wearing only a towel I hurried into the room to see what angels had brought me this sweet gift. When I saw Miley Cyrus singing “Party in the USA” on the television, I burst into laughter. It was the first time I had laughed in over a month. When I realized I was in a towel laughing hysterically at a Miley Cyrus music video it made me laugh harder. It was the first time I felt like I might be OK. I wish it was someone cooler like Kanye West or Lou Reed but we play the cards we’re dealt. I went two years without cocaine after that day before relapsing for an entire summer. Then I relapsed again in 2015 at a strip club in Montreal.

2015 was a year to forget that I can’t remember anyways. I drank almost everyday. I relapsed on cocaine. I did MDMA so much I actually started liking house music. I took more mushrooms than Super Mario. I ate so much pizza that the pizza place next door actually named a pizza after me (to be honest, still kind of proud of that one). I would have put my penis inside of a toaster oven if I thought it would make me forget about my ex-girlfriend. If there weren’t any household appliances at my disposal I would settle for porn. I was a mess. In May of that year I was diagnosed with pancreatitis. I was given a month of antibiotics and told to quit drinking for a year at least. I thought my zero years of med school stacked up well against my doctor’s education so I quit for a month instead. I would be diagnosed with pancreatitis again in December of that year. A trip to the emergency room with an alcohol withdrawal seizure would finally get through to me that I needed a change (and a change of underwear because I pissed my pants).

Once I decided I really did want to quit drugs and alcohol for good this time my first step was to get motivated. My primary motivation was my health and to transform my life for the better. I was sick and tired of being hungover, of being flat broke, of hurting my family. I realized that my whole life revolved around my addictions. Every decision I made was based on how it would affect getting my fixes.

I wasn’t born addicted to drugs and alcohol. I rewired my brain to become that way. So I thought it stood to reason that if I rewired my brain into this mess, I could rewire it out of it. You have to believe that you can, too. Personally I looked to inspirational figures to give me motivation. Think of Terry Fox, he ran a marathon every single day for 143 days. With cancer. On one leg. At first he wasn’t getting the donations or attention for his cause as he had hoped. But he kept running every single day. He’s now remembered as a Canadian icon, with over $650 million dollars raised for cancer in his name. He was a human, just like you and me. If he can do that, you can quit something that’s hurting you.

Now that I was thinking positively it was time to put that motivation into action. The first thing I did was tell my family and friends. For a control freak like myself, it was important for me to recognize I couldn’t do this on my own. I was going to need their support. Control is also a concept I had to get a firmer grasp on. I had to learn how to control myself and my reactions to the things that happened to me. January 1, 2016 was a big moment for me. I was 12 days off of alcohol. I made it through the shakes, delirium tremens, my birthday, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve without drinking. Then I lost my wallet on the subway. I was consumed with rage and had planned to go grab drinks as soon as I could. That’s when I had an epiphany that if I went and got drunk, my wallet would still be lost, I would just be drunk with a lost wallet. It was a huge moment in my recovery and one that I still remind myself of constantly. Drinking, getting high, overeating, or smoking won’t make my problems go away. It may temporarily numb the pain or anger of something bad happening to me, but then I’m left the next day with the same problems and a hangover. Only I can make my problems go away. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was learning how to play the tape out.

Playing the tape out means, when you have a craving for the vice you want to quit, don’t get stuck in the craving part of thinking about it. Continue past that to how you will feel after you have done it. I learned to do this when I quit cocaine (the first time). I realized when I had a craving my only thought would be “it would feel so good to get high.” I was fighting against a mounting tidal wave of these thoughts before one day, I simply thought “what happens after I get high?” Sure, it would feel good to get high, but it means I also spent money when I already owed a drug dealer $1,100. The high wouldn’t last very long. And then I’d be left feeling guilty and depressed.

Everything I had learned about addiction gave me an idea last year, I would quit the rest of my negative addictions and make a podcast about it. Quitting porn is the one I’ve been asked about the most. When people asked me if I was addicted to porn and I said yes, I could read a look on their face like, “This guy must masturbate at weird times and weirder places.” It’s been oddly rewarding. It’s made sex even more pleasurable. I’m even more connected now, and I’m not picturing my partner as a naughty librarian who also happens to be dating my father. I probably only masturbate two times a week now—far healthier than my previous number, which more closely resembled an NBA player’s average points per game.

Quitting dairy and red meat really made me realize that food can be just like a drug. I will use it to celebrate, I will use it to numb pain, I will use it when I’m bored, and I will spend money I should be using in better ways on it. Season four of Narcos could be set in a Pizza Hut and I would be just as invested. I’ve also learned that vegans aren’t deluding themselves when they mention recipes that are just as good as the real thing. I used to think they had the credibility of Nigerian princes who needed your credit card info to give you a huge amount of cash. But my girlfriend just made me dairy-free chicken alfredo sauce last night, and it was the best I’ve ever had. Email me your credit card info and I’ll give you the recipe.

The last thing I realized is I shouldn’t be afraid to fail. Relapsing is part of addiction. The key is to not let your moments of weakness erase all of your hard work. If you were driving somewhere and you got off at the wrong exit you wouldn’t give up on going to your destination. “I made a wrong turn, time to turn the car off, throw the keys out the window, take off my clothes, and take a hot shit in the backseat because I now live in this car.” That obviously sounds ridiculous. So think of your addiction in the same way. I came back stronger after every relapse.

Since sobriety, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been physically and mentally. I paid off my credit card debt and I have a savings account for the first time since my Hulk Hogan piggy bank. I’m in love and it’s far and away the best relationship of my life. I’m a better listener, friend, brother and son. My career has found new life and after eight long years I was asked to perform at Just for Laughs again this past summer for Kevin Hart’s LOL Network.

Quitting addiction can sometimes feel easy and other times feel impossible. I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded. For instance I’m writing this on Day 3 off of sugar and the withdrawal is making me a tiny bit angry. Part of me feels like I would kill the families of everyone reading this article just to vent some steam. So I know it’s difficult, but you can quit your addiction in 2018. If it ever seems too hard, or you stumble and relapse, have faith in yourself. You have more strength inside of you then you know, you just have to dig down deep to get it. And if all else fails, just throw on some Miley.

Follow Alex on Twitter.

Growing up in Vancouver, we never had snow days—it was never even cold enough for me to own a parka. The ocean generally keeps the city's temperatures from getting too hot or too cold, though in recent years things have gotten a little kooky out there.

Moving to Toronto was my first experience with a true Canadian winter. I came straight here from Guatemala, where I’d been travelling, so I got out of Pearson airport wearing only flip-flops. I’d lost my actual shoes on the last leg of the trip. It was mid-January, and around -25 C with the windchill. Within a couple of minutes of walking outside my feet began to hurt. I almost stopped to take a photo of them in the snow, but I was genuinely concerned I was going to get frostbite. My toes burned for a week every time I took a shower.

Although I found Toronto to be pretty cold at times, I noticed that wasn’t a sentiment I could express without getting an unreasonable amount of bitter snark in return.

“You think THIS is cold? Try living in Ottawa, it’s -40.”

“Winnipeg is literally colder than Mars right now.”

“It’s snowing, so everyone in Toronto has forgotten how to drive.”

You get the idea.

This tendency to one-up each other based on how cold our respective hometowns are is uniquely Canadian. It’s like the weather version of a dick-measuring contest and until recently, I thought it was pretty fucking weird. Like, why are you bragging about how cold it is where you live? Being cold sucks. I would take Vancouver winters back any day and calling me a little bitch baby won’t change my views on that.

But the past couple weeks, I’ve found myself cold shaming others. Namely, Americans who are seemingly just realizing that winter is cold. I spent the holidays in New York, and it was chilly but nowhere near cold enough to warrant the level of hype I heard.

“It’s dangerously cold outside,” my friend, who lives in Williamsburg, texted me on a day that was -4 C, using it as excuse not to go out that night. Minus 4 is not even North Face jacket weather. You could still go for a run in -4 if you’re one of those performative fitness weirdos who does things like run outside. I swear there are some older Canadian men who would wear shorts in -4.

Then there was New Year’s Eve, which saw New York City drop to -12 C, the second-coldest ball drop ever, apparently. That’s not even a temperature most Canadians would think is worthy of screenshotting and posting on Twitter. Up here, we’re familiar with terms like “polar vortex” and there are 20-year-anniversary stories about ice storms that left people without power for weeks. So you can understand why watching Anderson Cooper lay out his heated balaclava before going live from Times Square and reading headlines like “Deadly, Bone-Chilling Cold Grips Wide Swath of United States” feels a tad dramatic. Also maybe y’all are handling this poorly because this is what you’re being advised to wear when it’s “cold AF.”

To be fair, it has been fucking freezing in parts of the US—Duluth Minnesota was around -42 C last week. (We’re with you, Duluth.)

But just when I start to feel sorry for you, I check my weather app, compare New York’s weather “advisory”* with Toronto’s “extreme cold warning” and my empathy disappears. Allow me to coldsplain for a moment—an advisory or alert isn’t really shit. If you see a warning, that’s when you should start to be worried.

All this said, I think I’m starting to see the appeal of Canadians’ winter superiority complex—there’s not really any other upside to four months of absolute crap weather. And if you live in a city like Winnipeg or Ottawa that regularly gets dogged, maybe your winter “cred” is all you have over places like Toronto and Vancouver.

I’ve never been good at winter sports, but cold shaming is one I can get into.

*I just checked the weather app, and sorry, New York, looks like you do have a pretty shitty blizzard coming your way! Welcome!

Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.

Bill Weier, the father of one of the two girls charged in the 2014 Slenderman stabbing, has spoken out against Sony Pictures's new Slenderman-inspired horror film, calling the movie "extremely distasteful," according to the Hollywood Reporter.

"It's absurd they want to make a movie like this," Weier told the Associated Press Wednesday. "It's popularizing a tragedy is what it's doing."

Weier's daughter Anissa recently pleaded guilty to attempted second-degree intentional homicide after she and a friend, Morgan Geyser, stabbed Payton Leutner 19 times in May 2014. When police arrested the girls, both 12 at the time, they explained that they attempted the murder to appease Slenderman—a fictional horror character that first appeared on the Something Awful forum.

Anissa Weier has since been sentenced to 25 years in a mental institution for the attempted Slenderman murder. Geyser, whose sentencing is scheduled for February, could be institutionalized for 40 years. The case has already been the subject of an HBO true-crime documentary, Beware the Slenderman, but now the urban legend has inspired its own horror flick.

Sony Pictures released the first trailer for Slender Man on Wednesday, based on the same internet boogyman—complete with screaming teens, a girl stabbing herself in the face with a scalpel, and voiceover describing how Slenderman "gets in your head like a virus."

It's unclear whether the film's plot will borrow any specifics from the 2014 attempted murder, but Weier told the AP he hopes his local theaters in Wisconsin choose not to screen the movie regardless.

"I'm not surprised [this film exists]," Bill Weier said, "but in my opinion, it's extremely distasteful. All we're doing is extending the pain all three of these families have gone through."

Slender Man is set to open in theaters this coming May. It's directed by Sylvain White—who previously directed Stomp the Yard and a direct-to-video I Know What You Did Last Summer sequel—and stars IT's Javier Botet as the lanky, faceless figure himself.

Season four of Black Mirror is out, and by now you know everything you need to know about it—right? You've figured out your ideal viewing order, picked a favourite episode, learned about creator Charlie Brooker's newfound optimism, decided which characters you love, and which ones you love to hate. But wait, there's more!

Brooker said in an interview with the Black Mirror Cracked podcast that season four is peak Easter egg–hunting territory for superfans. "As people have appreciated that more, we've leaned into it," he told the hosts. So we scraped each episode, read interviews, and dove deep into the labyrinth of Reddit for every reference to other Black Mirror episodes and pop culture we could find.

The pure volume of Easter eggs has all but confirmed a long-running theory that all of Black Mirror takes place in the same twisted techno-dystopia. “We always used to say it’s a shared universe, but then I started to say it’s a psychologically shared universe and now some of the episodes are definitely connected because there’s specific references within that story to things we’ve seen in other episodes," Brooker told Express.co.uk. “So it sort of is now.” That's the extent that Brooker will talk about it so far, but the piles of evidence below speaks for themselves.

"USS Callister"

-- This whole episode was a big reference to Star Trek, so it’s like an Russian nesting doll of Easter eggs. The whole premise of “USS Callister” references the original series’ flaws, such as how its treatment of women and race hasn’t aged well.

-- Elena Tulaska (Milanka Brooks), the woman at Callister’s front desk, uses the dating app from “Hang the DJ.”

-- Kristen Dunst—who's engaged to Jesse Plemons—has a brief cameo in the Callister office.

-- When gushing to Nanette Cole (Cristin Milioti) about Space Fleet, Daly tells her the show is now on Netflix. (Sure, it’s a navel gaze-y joke, but maybe the streaming giant has earned it.)

-- As spotted by Reddit user Gaijira, Daly boots up his computer with an OS called Ono-Sendai. It’s named after the computer Henry Chase uses in William Gibson’s iconic novel Neuromancer, which popularized the term “cyberspace.”

-- The office is on the 13th floor—which is the name of another cyberpunk classic, pointed out by Redditor HairyFotr1.

-- The planets Skillane IV and Rannoch visited by the USS Callister crew are named for Victoria Skillane and Iain Rannoch, the criminals from “White Bear.”

-- Raiman brand milk, Daly’s favourite beverage besides skinny lattes, calls back to a soldier named Raiman from “Men Against Fire,” who talks about her family farm. Apparently, it’s a dairy farm.

-- Director Toby Haynes revealed a few Easter eggs to The Hollywood Reporter: “Michaela [Coel, who plays Shania] had to be in a red outfit because she’s the first of the crew to get killed. On Star Trek, the guy in red always gets nailed. [Daly is also wearing red on the ship.]”

-- Haynes also said that Jesse Plemons had a vocal coach on site to help him perfect his dialect, inspired by William Shatner’s Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek series. “We did it one or two times where he went full Shatner, like when he says 'Fire' in the opening. That’s straight out of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. I love those movies. I’m quoting my heroes. So it comes from a place of love. We’re not punching down, we’re punching up.”

-- He also pointed out a few Star Wars references: “When Cristin wakes up in the medical bay, the way the lights came on was a reference to Gareth Edwards’ Rogue One trailer—the shot that never made the movie, when Felicity [Jones] is standing up and the lights come on in sequence... The tube that Jimmi [Simpson] goes into when he reactivates the engines of the spaceship, I wanted that to look like the tubes of the Bepsin in Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back, the tubes that Luke Skywalker falls down inspired that... When Daly has just turned Michaela into an alien where he says, ‘Take that thing to the bridge.’ That’s the same line they say about Chewbacca when they are on the Death Star in A New Hope.” Check out the full interview here.

-- The “King of Space,” in the final sequence, a.k.a. Gamer691, is Breaking Bad star Aaron Paul. Notably, he reunites with Plemons, who played Jesse Pinkman's neo-Nazi captor. Paul also seems to be channeling his role as Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman instead as he shouts, “Are we gonna blow each other, or are we gonna trade?”

"Arkangel"

-- Sara has a Waldo lunchbox, referencing the cartoon TV personality turned politician from season two’s “The Waldo Moment.”

-- When being fitted with the Arkangel system, young Sara watches a children’s show called Shimmer and Shine on a streaming platform that looks a lot like Netflix. The show, produced by Nickelodeon, isn’t currently available on Netflix—but in the wake of Disney’s buy-in to Hulu, perhaps the streaming giant is tipping its hand toward a future relationship.

-- To test the Arkangel system’s stress filter, Sara watches military footage that appears to be cribbed from the season three episode “Men Against Fire.”

-- A poster hanging in Sara’s room references the rapper Tusk, who dies in “Hated in the Nation.”

"Crocodile"

-- Mia may have designed Daly's house seen at the end of "USS Callister." Redditor AZ_Enforcer23 noted that the designs on her desk match up with the aerial footage of his apartment complex.

-- “Anyone Who Knows What Love Is” by Irma Thomas is played throughout the episode. It is also the song Abi (Jessica Brown-Findlay) sings in the American Idol–like show from “15 Million Merits.” One character sings it for karaoke in season two’s “White Christmas,” and another croons a verse in season three’s “Men Against Fire.”

-- There's a PSVR in Mia’s (Andrea Riseborough) studio, spotted by Reddit user harrisonisdead. Brooker has extensively tweeted about his love for the device.

-- The newspaper article about the cyclist killed in the opening has a secret message for Easter Egg hunting nerds: "'Of course the real question is why anyone would pause what they're watching just to read a sentence in a printed out newspaper article', says a voice in your head—before advising you to go and share this finding on Reddit." Which u/AFellowofLimitedJest did. That article was published by UKN, a news network that covers the prime minister’s pig-fucking incident in the first Black Mirror episode, “National Anthem.”

-- Wraith Babes, the porn series from the season one episode “15 Million Merits,” is available in the video on-demand selection at Mia’s hotel. She instead chooses a production by Erika Lust, a well-known feminist adult filmmaker who is vocal about changing the industry. Good choice!

-- A title under the "Classics" category in the hotel's video-on-demand section pictures a robot bee from "Hated in the Nation."

-- Fence’s Pizza—whose automated car accident leads to Shazia’s investigation—is the same company that delivers Robert Daly’s pizza in “USS Callister.”

-- When Shazia visits Mia’s hotel searching for information about the car crash, the concierge reveals a strict privacy policy was enacted after a data breach lead journalists to the name a prominent man who was caught there with a male prostitute. That man was a judge on Hot Shots, the American Idol-like show from “15 Million Merits.”

-- The episode ends with a children's play rendition of "Bad Guys" from the musical Bugsy Malone, the 1976 film of which starred "Arkangel" director Jodie Foster.

"Hang the DJ"

-- The sublime, atmospheric soundtrack to this episode was composed by Sigur Rós and Alex Sommers.

-- The episode's title is a reference to "Panic" by The Smiths, which plays over the credits.

-- Redditor CallMeJono found that if you go to 44:40 of "Hang the DJ," the fourth episode in the fourth season of Black Mirror, Coach tells Amy to count to four. She does, ending at 44:44. This is tied to the fact that it's impossible to slip a stone more than four times—which Amy does as she abandons Coach in her swimming pool. That's a lot of fours.

-- The dating app from "Hang the DJ" also appears in "USS Callister" and the season three episode, "Playtest."

"Metalhead"

-- The dogs’ design resembles robots designed by DARPA-funded engineers at Boston Dynamics, known for their viral videos being mean to their lifelike creations. Maybe that’s why these computerized canines are out for blood?

-- The car that Clarke (Jake Davies ) hacks just before he dies has the logo for TCKR, the company that developed the digital afterlife of "San Junipero."

-- Redditor TonyMoca found this gem hidden in the startup sequence of the car that has a list of other Black Mirror episodes, as well as a special message for Easter Egg hunters:

LOADED: \BMS1E1.drivers.tna.pigpoke LOADED: \BMS1E2.drivers.15mm.bing.abi LOADED: \BMS1E3.drivers.tehoy.men LOADED: \BMS2E1.drivers.brb.attic LOADED: \BMS2E2.drivers.white.bear LOADED: \BMS2E3.drivers.waldo.mt LOADED: \BMS2E3.drivers.white.xmas LOADED: \WHY.did.you.bother LOADED: \PAUSING.this.you.freak

-- Bella (Maxine Peak) finds a San Junipero postcard in the luxurious house in which she hides from the dog.

-- The white bears revealed at the end of the episode could be a reference to the [season three] episode, “White Bear,”—although Brooker told Entertainment Weekly that they’re actually yellow. Nevertheless, he adds, "I was happy with that being a little Easter egg. "

"Black Museum"

-- This episode was one big bone to throw at superfans who love sifting through every frame to find those sweet references. There were also a few so obvious, even casual watchers couldn’t help but get in on the game. References to episodes from every season are glimpsed as exhibits throughout the Black Museum. Here are the ones we found:

• The artist who hung himself in “National Anthem”
• Mugshots of Victoria Skillane from “White Bear” and production designer Joel Collins, which he points out in an Indiewire interview. Jane Fonda's iconic 1970 mugshot is also on display , as pointed out by u/SophieBulsara
• The hood and hunting costume that Baxter (Michael Smiley), Victoria's torturer, wears in "White Bear"
• Daly’s DNA uploader from “USS Callister,” along with Tommy’s lollipop
• A sign that reads in bold letters, "Cloning Without Consent" references Daly's crime in "USS Callister"
• The game from "Playtest"
• Roach corpses from "Men Against Fire"
• One of the robotic bees from “Hated in the Nation”
• The bathtub in which Mia murders Anan Akhand, Shazia's husband, in "Crocodile"
• Marie’s smashed Arkangel tablet

-- The hospital where Rolo scouts for victims is called St. Juniper’s, a reference to season three’s “San Junipero.” He also works for the company that developed the virtual world, TCKR.

-- Rolo explains consciousness transfer and the concept of cookies introduced in "White Christmas," and Nish asks if it’s, "Like when they upload old people to the cloud," referencing the technology in "San Junipero."

-- The Dr. Peter Dawson subplot is based on a short story by Penn Jillette called “Pain Addict.”

-- The lab rats from "Pain Addict" are named Hector and Kenny after the two main characters from season three’s “Shut Up and Dance.”

-- Dawson experiences death secondhand while trying to diagnose United States Senator Whitley (Mark Kempson), who is poisoned by Russians. Haynes remarks that Whitley was involved with "that whole thing," which The Wrap theorizes is a reference to Robert Mueller's investigation into collusion between the Trump presidential campaign and Russia. Brooker has spoken about how Trump's election impacted the series, so it's not too farfetched.

-- A news ticker during the second story spotted by Redditor too_wit references "National Anthem" with the line, "PM Callow marries pig," and "Metalhead" with the line, "Autonomous military 'dog' robot unveiled."

-- More news ticker Easter Eggs found by hetzjagd read, "Arkangel system pulled from stores" and "Waldo Politician makes waves in Mexico," referencing "Arkangel" and "The Waldo Moment."

-- “15 Million Merits” shows up as a graphic novel in Rolo’s second story.

Berate Beckett Mufson for the references he missed on Twitter.