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How Significant Are Obama's 1,385 Commutations?

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On Tuesday, the White House announced 209 people, including Chelsea Manning and Puerto Rican nationalist Oscar Lopez Rivera, will have their sentences commuted, bringing President Obama's total number of commutations during his presidency to 1,385—more than the total number of commutations issued by the past 12 presidents combined, the White House reports.

Obama also issued 64 pardons, including one for retired Gen. James Cartwright, who was charged with making false statements to the FBI during an investigation into a leak of classified information.

"These 273 individuals learned that our nation is a forgiving nation," wrote White House counsel Neil Eggleston, "where hard work and a commitment to rehabilitation can lead to a second chance, and where wrongs from the past will not deprive an individual of the opportunity to move forward."

Samuel Morison is an attorney who specializes in federal executive clemency and previously worked in the Department of Justice's Office of the Pardon Attorney, which is responsible for making commutation and pardon recommendations to the president. He says historically, it's unusual for a president to exercise his clemency power so much during his last days in office. "Presidents have traditionally started granting commutations and pardons relatively early in their presidency, and they did it on a fairly regular basis throughout the course of their [time in office]," he tells Broadly. "So there wasn't any pressure to do a huge number at the end because they already had a record of doing it all along. That's a much more rational way to do this."

Read more on Broadly


We Spoke to the Teenager Who Got Mia Khalifa's Face Tattooed On His Body

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Photo via Instagram

This article originally appeared on VICE Brazil

Being a teenager is rough, but it's especially rough when you're a teenager and you decide to get the face of your idol tattooed on your leg, only to have your idol call you an idiot in front of her 758,000 Instagram followers. That's exactly what happened to F.A., a 17-year-old Brazilian student who had the delicate features of the Lebanese-American former porn star/current webcam model Mia Khalifa tattooed on his leg. Mia wasn't impressed, and made that known on her official Instagram account by calling him an "idiot" three times in one post:

The post on Mia Khalifa's official Instagram account, in which she calls the Brazilian student an idiot three times. Photo via Instagram

F.A. had not seen this backlash coming. He's a fan of Mia Khalifa (who, despite only dedicating herself to porn for three months, made big waves in the industry, being ranked the number one searched porn star on PornHub in December of 2014) and he just thought it would be nice to have her face on his body. It wasn't that big of a deal for him – he might be a minor, but already has 12 other tattoos. Plus, the tattoo artist he found was willing to work for free.

He tagged Mia's official account in the picture he posted of his new tattoo, and then received a notification that she had tagged him back. "I didn't expect her to see it. I thought: this girl is famous, I'm from a town in middle-of-nowhere Brazil," he tells me over the phone. "I never thought she would see it, post it on her profile and, worse, call me an idiot."

VICE: How big of a fan of Mia are you?
F.A.: Well, I think almost every man in Brazil knows her. But I follow her on Instagram and Facebook. I know she went to college, that she's married. Stuff like that. I saw her face and just thought, 'I have to get this girl marked on my body.' So I did.

Why?
Well, it's like – in the past, sailors used to have images of Marilyn Monroe tattooed on them. So I thought it was a good idea to have one of Mia, like a celebration of that past. I knew most people would make fun of me, though.

What was it like when you saw the notification that she had tagged you?
I thought it was great at first: "Fuck, Mia Khalifa tagged me!" But then read "idiot", "idiot", "idiot". That was harsh. I don't know how to explain it – I felt sad. I got the tattoo out of love and admiration. But it didn't bother me enough to consider having it removed. I don't think I'll ever get it removed – I don't regret getting it at all.

Did you reply to her post?
No. I did receive a lot of messages from random strangers calling me an idiot. Other people defended me. But I don't care about all of that. My friends think I'm a legend – they say the only person who this could happen to is a Brazilian.

Has the tattoo turned out exactly the way you wanted it?
More or less. I wanted it for months, but the first artist I spoke to about it asked for R$1,500 [€435]. Then I asked someone else, who said he could do it for free. So I said, "Lets go!" It's not 100 percent, but that guy was good. It looks a lot like her. I really like the result.

Does your mum know who Mia Khalifa is?
No. I've mentioned her, but my mum doesn't know who she is, exactly. And the tattoos are just something I do – something I like. I have 13 in total now, and I'm learning to do it myself. My mum doesn't bother me about it.

I'm happy to hear that don't have any regrets.
I do what I want and I let other people do what they want. My body, my rules.

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Fake Two-Week Tattoos Are the Future of Dumbass Self Expression

Let’s Spend a Few Minutes with This Photo of Donald Trump, Shall We

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Let's talk about sex, bay-bee / let's talk about you– and –me / let's talk about every single pixel of this photo please:

For context: this is the tweet President-elect Donald J. Trump sent yesterday, which as best as I can tell had two primary objectives and one secondary objective:

  1. Slowly put a smooth face on the first in a long, long, long, long, long line of Twitter-disseminated propaganda to be expected over the next four to eight years;
  2. Launch the new official Twitter-endorsed #Inauguration emoji-hashtag, which, seeing as Donald Trump doesn't ever use hashtags – I don't think he knows how to access the deep menu on his phone for secondary symbols – and, because the text of this tweet is relatively well punctuated and un-insane, presumably means it was written, approved and sent by a member of staff, and not by DJT himself *1;

And:

3. Confirm to the world that yes, god, he is definitely working on his speech, god, shut up. Like: I used to pull this exact pose at my desk when I was supposed to have been doing homework for hours but had actually just been playing Sonic 2 on the Megadrive, and a parent or parents were checking up on me to make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and not playing Sonic 2 on Megadrive, and I would hustle and rush into this exact pose, a placid simulation of working. Notebook tilt and everything. This was exactly me.

But what's going on in this photo is the question, really. Because there's a lot going on. And we are going to inhale the entire thing like a musky, complex whisky, and see what bones come out. Come. Come with me. Come with me on a journey. A journey into this photo of Donald Trump.

FIRST FUCKS, THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THIS HASN'T BEEN RETOUCHED

SIRI, ENHANCE:






Look at any other photo of Donald Trump and see if you come to the came conclusions as me, which are: the cheeks have been airbrushed smooth. The eye bags have been blurred to oblivion and, I think, colour-corrected to lessen the now-iconic white-on-orange look DJT's been rocking. I don't think computers have been used to tuck the jowls in, but I do think he's doing that "SHA-BANG!" thing we all learned about on YouTube a few years ago. The hair – and I mean Donald Trump's hair is kind of a walking, real-life Photoshop project, a perfect illusion; David Copperfield could make the Statue of Liberty disappear but he could not assemble as perfect a trick as Donald Trump's nest-hair – has had a few strands added to it here and there, I think. Not a lot of work, but some work.

Listen, if I were 70 years old, I would ask my team to airbrush my press shots before I tweeted them. I would do that. But if I were a millionaire-or-billionaire and I had an entire press team at my disposal, I'd get someone to do it properly. I would not tolerate such clumsy retouching on my watch, on my face.

Anyway, I'm sure a dude who signs off on what looks like five-minute sub-standard selfie airbrushing is going to make America great again, for sure.

THERE IS NOTHING ON THAT FUCKING NOTEPAD AT ALL

How do I know there is nothing on that notepad when I cannot see the page of the notepad? How can I see so firmly make a judgement call that there are no markings on that page? Hands, people:






You only tilt a notepad like that when there's no plans written on it and you're trying to shield that information from the American people, or when you are in an exam and you don't want anyone copying your work. Unless DJT is writing his inauguration speech via a series of multiple choice questions, I think the first option is the one we're going to go with, here. Additional clues: pen being held halfway down the page in the absolute dead centre of it, where nobody has ever held a pen before; still using the first page of the notepad, suggesting no drafts at all; and, wait, why does a billionaire not have a leather-bound notebook to hand? Even I have a leather-bound notebook to hand, and I'm nothing. Did Donald J. Trump have to rootle around behind the stationary desk at Mar-A-Lago reception for something to write on, like I do every time I'm called into a meeting and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get fired in it, so I take a notebook in just so I look slightly more intellectual and less unemployable?

YO WHY IS HE WRITING HIS INAUGURATION SPEECH IN A TURKISH BATH HOUSE








You can try to tell me that, just out of shot, there aren't three extremely hairy dudes in matching piss-yellow towels, steaming together, but I'm not going to believe you. There is definitely a large bald dude vigorously, vigorously drying his balls in the same room as this photo is being taken. I am talking: with vigour. Like he wants them to fall off.

DO YOU GET THE INTRICATE EAGLE STATUE WHEN YOU WIN THE PRESIDENCY AS A SORT OF WEIRD CURSED GIFT, OR DID HE HAVE THAT ALREADY?








I have never seen a statue look so mad at a human being. I didn't even know statues could get mad. But huh: this eagle statue is super, super pissed.

WHAT'S THIS TILE SAYING? WHAT'S THIS TILE UP TO?

I asked some Latin nerds and as best as I can tell the tiles say "PLVS VLTRA" – even though the "R" looks consistently like a "P", I know, I know – which is i. the motto of Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor and ruler of the Spanish Empire; ii. is Latin for "plus ultra", which sort of translates to "no one is better"; and iii. refers to the ambition of world power after the European discovery of the Americas, it says here.

"Oh, you're thinking too much about a tile" – You.

And: yes. But tell me that again in three years, when Mexico is on fire. Let's see who takes the ego tile seriously then.

HOLD UP: WHAT'S A 'WINTER WHITE HOUSE'?

The bit we've so easily smoothed over because we've been too busy looking at Trump's smooth eyes/death eagle/making notebook memes is he referred to his sprawling Florida estate Mar-a-Lago as "The Winter White House", which isn't a thing. Yes, the person who built it hoped it would one day become a winter retreat for presidents, but no presidents ever took her up on her offer, and then Donald Trump bought it in 1985. The White House is the Winter White House. I mean, I kind of respect DJT's attempt to make being the president a sort of part-time summer gig, but no. You have to be president every day for four years. That's sort of one of the rules. You don't get to nominate another White House to go and live in when you're cold.

IS THAT EVEN HIS DESK?

Signs point to no! But then whose terror eagle is it!

So what can we derive from this photo, this photo of Donald Trump? Firstly: dude needs a better airbrush guy. Secondly: needs a desk of his own. Third: better stationery or at least a better stationery supplier. Fourth: someone really needs to sit this guy down and teach him about typing on a computer, because that's a way more efficient way of writing an inauguration speech. Fifth: In one day's time this man – a man who just tweeted (via, from the looks of it, someone else) in an attempt to convince me he owned a desk and regularly wrote on a notepad at it and failed on both counts – is going to be the most powerful man in the world. Michael Flatley's going to be doing a wizened old Riverdance at the inauguration. Bring champagne with you to the end of the world ceremony.

@joelgolby


1. I often think about this. In my head, I like to compare DJT's to my own tweets: I would say, maybe, that out of every hundred tweets I send, there is a blaring typo or punctuation fuckoo in maybe one of them (bar deliberate stylistic errors as per the trend of the day: missing full stops off the end, "u" instead of "you", that sort of thing). That is an unspectacular hit rate: I think a 1 percent error in voicing my own message and the thoughts inside my own head is pretty average, to be expected. But Donald Trump – as of tomorrow, the leader of the free world, remember – is idling at around about a 95 percent rate. Like the tweets he writes himself are total utter shit shows. In the run up to the election, his campaign staff famously took his own Twitter password away from him.

The man cannot be trusted to write a tweet but we are giving him nuclear codes. I mean, it's fine. I've been ready to die for years. But the rest of you – people with purpose, people with ambition, people with potential and something to live for – man. Man. I would be so pissed off that this guy was marching us so inevitably to our deaths. †

† Ha ha, wow: getting a lot of feedback from this footnote already. A lot of critics are saying, "But Donald Trump is 70 fucking years old! You expect him to be able to use the technology and lingo of the youth? Come on, man! You ever see your nan try and program a VHS machine? You think she could send a tweet? Do you want to make your nan send a tweet? No! Give the guy a break!" And I must concede that no, I do not want to make someone who cannot program a VHS player send a tweet. Nor would I want them to sit as President for four years minimum, eight years maximum. That's just my opinion! I just feel like Donald Trump doesn't know how to charge his own phone without having to get Ivanka to help him, and for that reason – no other reason! – he shouldn't be the most powerful man in civilization! ‡

‡ That said, if Donald Trump completes an open challenge – say, programs a VHS to record a full episode of Match of the Day, successfully plugs a USB keyboard into a laptop, orders exactly one Uber, all within, say, an hour timeframe – I will take all the previous back and endorse him forever. Because I know he can't do it.

Meet the Syrians Who've Taken Refuge in Clarkston, Georgia

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"Syria is God's heaven on earth. I used to plant all kinds of vegetables and fruits. Once, I was a farmer of greens and fruits, now I work in a restaurant as a dishwasher." Sameer Kiwan glanced sadly at his wife, then continued, "when we were in Syria, we used to dream of leaving to see the world. The moment we left, we realized that Syria was actually the whole world."

The Syrian civil war forced Kiwan, his wife, and four children to flee their farm in Daraa for safety: a small, two-bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia. Suha Zein, a Syrian immigrant living in the states for 27 years, volunteers with families such as Kiwan's to help them get established. She introduced me to Kiwan's family and brought me to hear their story.

With the assistance of friends such as Zein, I began visiting other newly arrived Syrian refugees in their homes. I quickly learned that these families fled one battle to encounter another: the arduous process of obtaining an American visa. Starting their lives on foreign soil presents a rocky road for "new Americans." Refugees are given an aggressive timeline for self-sufficiency, cultural integration, and English acquisition. They have to pay back the American government for their airfare to get here and they get just six months of financial assistance with their rent. Then, they're on their own.

For many of these families, life in the United States is tremendously difficult and anxiety-ridden. "It is not reasonable in my opinion to expect them to learn a new language, find a job, make enough money to support a family of five or six, and be completely independent within six months," Zein explained, "I have a masters degree and if you send me right to, let's say Germany, and you tell me, 'learn German, get your license, make money, and be independent in six months,' I wouldn't go. There is no way I could make it in six months."

Suha Zein organized a group of her friends to help Hazar and her family get settled

"This isn't a charity thing, it's a rescue. It's a triage. Some groups have likened it to basically throwing someone into the deep end so they learn how to swim. Certainly, if they are at risk of hurting themselves or drowning, we'll throw them a life preserver. But it's sort of tough love," explained Ted Terry, the Mayor of Clarkston, Georgia.

Situated in the outskirts of metro Atlanta, Clarkston is one of the most ethnically diverse cities in the United States, serving as a prominent landing pad for refugees since the Vietnam War. "You can chart the course of world events over the last 35 years through the residents of Clarkston," Mayor Terry told me. "People who have been persecuted, who have been forced to flee because of war or violence or famine or other sorts of strife—those people have found their way to Clarkston."

Mayor Terry and I met at Refuge, a community-focused coffee shop that provides living wage jobs, English classes, and skill training for Clarkston's refugees. Despite these community efforts, Syrian refugees face considerable opposition by the state's conservative political leaders. Georgia Governor Nathan Deal, for instance, issued an executive order to ban further admission of Syrian refugees. Mayor Terry, who currently sponsors a Syrian family, is a maverick in Georgia's conservative political arena.

"When I came out in support of welcoming Syrian refugees, I got a lot of interesting comments. This one guy called me and said, 'I'm just worried we're going to have Sharia law in Clarkston, we're going to have Sharia law everywhere.' He was genuinely worried that 10,000 Syrians were going to force Sharia law on America... I think that the political nature of some of these issues distracts people and we forget our humanity. We forget that there have always been refugees." With a big grin he adds, "The most famous refugee story of all is Jesus."

Mayor Terry catches up with Syrian refugee Ahmad Alzoukani.

Brian Bollinger is the Executive Director of Clarkston-based non-profit Friends of Refugees. I asked him if he thought long-standing residents felt resentful about the multiculturalization of their city. "Our founder Miss Pat Maddox, the 'Mother Teresa of Clarkston,' was a native born Clarkston resident. She grew up here when it was mostly dirt roads and it was largely [a] farm community," Bollinger replied. "My desire would be to see people who have a serious concern about the security and the wisdom of the refugee resettlement system, to really give it a serious look and go meet some refugees, go volunteer at one of the organizations and just get a good look at it for [themselves]."

These photographs offer a look into the struggle new Americans face as they seek asylum in our country. Traumatized by a civil war ravaging their homeland, refugees arrive on our shores with nothing but the hope that their children will have a better life.

"We used to have dignity and a homeland called 'Syria.' We used to live a sweet life," Kiwan told me. "We came to America to deliver a message that we are peace-loving and freedom-loving. We thank the US government for welcoming us. And thanks to God, we now live safely."

Meina Al Mufti (age 10) learns English by watching American vlogs on Youtube.

Hazar Alsayah with her sons Mohammad Kiwan (age 17) and Zakariiya Kiwan (age 6).

For many refugee families, the children rapidly surpass their parents' in speaking English. They become their parent's liaison with the world

Mariam Al Mfalani (age 12) says she doesn't want to move back to Syria because she feels safer in the United States.

Kassim Alloh stands in front of a verse from the Quran.

Fatime Alnasan's husband was jailed for five months in Syria by the Assad regime. She was not given any word about his whereabouts. "During that period I was psychologically destroyed."

Remembering their journey from Syria is painful, especially for Mohammad Alloh (age 13) who was bullied for years in a refugee camp in Jordan.

Manal Al Mfalani shows her daughter one of the few possessions she has left from their life in Syria, her grandmother's Quran.

Hala Isiwan, a shy young lady, shows me an honor she received from the American school she's just started attending.

"Once a country that welcomed all the world's refugees, we became refugees in all the countries of the world" Sameer Kiwan says sadly.

Sameer Kiwan shows me his favorite possessions from home.

Samir Alshimali lives with his family in a low-income housing project in Clarkston, Georgia.

Hala Isiwan (age 11) laughs as her parents pretend to perform a traditional tea ceremony for the camera.

"Everything is new to us and everything changes. But here is safer, I really suffered in Syria," Fatime Alnasan says.

See more work by Avery L White.

The Illuminati Are Taking Over Populism

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(Top image: photo of Theresa May via the UK Home Office; Image of Donald Trump by Michael Vandon)

It looks like it's not just Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour party who are trying to re-brand themselves as populists: the Illuminati are at it, too. At this year's World Economic Forum at Davos – a semi-secretive event held annually in the Swiss Alps where members of the global political and business elite meet to discuss how many tons of human flesh they're going to process for meat in the next year, or whatever – the event's founder, Klaus Schwab, has announced that "it's important to listen to the populists", and expressed a desire for incoming US President Donald Trump to attend next year.

This might sound surprising. The current populist wave seems to derive its strength from a sense that economic globalisation is favouring "elites" and failing "ordinary working people", and must be halted in some way (by, for instance, curbing immigration).

You'd think the people behind the World Economic Forum at Davos would want to shut the current populist wave down. After all, if anyone is a member of the globalising elite, it's the "Davos Man" (this is apparently a genuine phrase they use to describe each other): a jetsetting "master of the universe" who conceives of their identity in truly international terms.

But actually, the World Economic Forum's newfound curiosity about the possibility of allying populist sentiment to the interests of global political and financial elites is, if anything, lagging slightly behind the curve. After all, Trump himself is a globetrotting businessman – or at least he used to play one on TV. And although Trump's movement in many ways caught US party insiders off-guard, if the Davos Men want someone to teach them how an established political party can co-opt populist sentiment in order to fortify their rule, there's no better teacher than the event's headline act from earlier today: Theresa May.

May's Davos speech largely played up her soft, "centrist" one-nation side: the side that, when she first came to power, tricked broadsheet hacks into thinking she was a "safe pair of hands". But her posturing over Brexit, which reached a new apogee on Tuesday with her soon-to-be-infamous "that right, it's Scorched Earth Brexit!" speech, is thoroughly populist.

May's rhetoric pitches the will of the "ordinary British people" – who, on her understanding, want to leave the European Union (and thus "regain control of our borders") at any cost – against the "experts" and "metropolitan elitists" who love immigrants and want to stay. May is a career politician. She campaigned to Remain (admittedly, at a volume so quiet as to be imperceptible). She is nevertheless pitched, both in her own rhetoric and in the triumphalist right-wing press, as the one true defender of the interests of ordinary people – the "New Iron Lady", as Wednesday's Daily Mail front page puts it; the one destined to deliver the Brexit deal that can restore prosperity, settle all grievances and make Brussels pay.

Any attempt to think critically about this massive, self-inflicted and basically pointless political upheaval is met with hostile dismissal. A lot of May's sabre-rattling is directed against parliament, who she never wanted to give a vote on Brexit to begin with. The judges who ruled that she had to were notoriously derided on another Mail front page as "Enemies of the People". In her speech on Tuesday, May made bullishly clear that her government would not be providing a "running commentary" on Brexit negotiations, i.e. that she had every intention of keeping anyone who might call her plans into question as in the dark as possible.

And guess what: it works. May has used populism to consolidate political power and is, despite basically every other relevant factor in play here, extraordinarily secure as Prime Minister. Her party has only a very slim parliamentary majority, and as premier she lacks any sort of electoral mandate. The Tories have presided over a wretchedly sluggish economy for years now; England's public services are clearly disintegrating; there's a constitutional crisis in long-neglected Northern Ireland and, once Brexit hits, there's undoubtedly going to be another one in Scotland as well. Despite this, May is doing brilliantly in the polls and has somehow managed to carve out a position where she has carte blanche to instigate major constitutional change with only minimal parliamentary oversight.

Call it "Illuminati Populism". By managing to maintain the pretence that they are governing in the interests of "real" people, the Tories have found themselves in a position to be able to remodel the UK basically however they choose to – which of course means in the interests of people like themselves: wealthy members of the political and financial elite. The latest ruse is to use Brexit to make the country into a tax haven – an idea that can only possibly be in the interests of the super-rich. But there's nothing anyone can do about it, because this is, you see, what the people have demanded.

There was a moment of mystical significance last year when the will of the British people was gauged, and in all the open-ended emptiness of that decision its force has been fixed forever, and now it can be used to justify whatever the Tories want it to – provided that the decision in question is related, however tangentially, to leaving the European Union. Of course, most things in the UK will be altered by our leaving the European Union, so that's an awful lot of things that Brexit can be used to lever out of the usual channels of political decision-making – just wait until they try and use it to destroy the transport unions, or privatise the NHS.

All of this, of course, puts Labour's own recent dabbling with populism into perspective. Corbyn was supposed to be re-launched in the new year as a (presumably) Sanders-style "left-populist", but as yet all this has amounted to is a pledge to introduce a wage cap, alongside some mild – but still horribly discouraging – xenophobia.

Can there really be a "left-populism"? Well, there are certainly examples of this working around the globe – in Latin America historically, and more recently in Greece and Spain. But in the UK, "the people" are defined as the group whose desires only ever play into the hands of those already in charge. Perhaps a responsible opposition would focus less on trying to capture this anger as a force for themselves, and more on speaking up against the nightmare politics that this anger is being used to unleash – to stand up, in particular, for those that May's Illuminati Populism excludes.

@HealthUntoDeath

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Will Brexit Turn Britain Into a Corporate Tax Haven?

A Deep Dive Into the Conspiracy Theory That Governments Are Controlling Us with Fluoride

Theresa May's Fantasy Brexit 'Plan' brings the Nightmare Closer to Reality

Let’s Take a Look at the Australian Politicians Who Support Trump

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Plenty of Australian politicians struggled to mask their disdain for Donald Trump during the US election campaign, confident that a Clinton win would offset any future diplomatic awkwardness.

But with the swearing-in of Donald Trump this week as the USA's 45th (and final) President, it's worth looking at our own politicians and asking: who is happy about this? Which Australian MPs and senators support Trump, and, most importantly, why?

Cory Bernardi

It would be unfair to begin every single piece about LNP Senator Cory Bernardi by reminding you that he was forced to resign from his position as Deputy Manager of Opposition Business when he said that same-sex marriage would lead to polygamy and bestiality, so I won't.

Instead, let's ponder why Bernardi, a deeply religious man, supports Donald Trump, a man who has boasted of extra-marital affairs and was caught on mic admitting to sexually assaulting women. "It's not about his character, it's not about his policy positions," Bernardi told the ABC, "but I thought he's a catalyst for change and that many of the issues that he's been targeted about and criticised for, I think are absolutely mainstream."

To clarify, career politician Cory Bernardi is saying that neither a candidate's character nor their policies are as important as whether they represent change. Like if you're on a cruise ship and you're unhappy with the quality of the breakfast buffet, you hug an anchor and throw yourself into shark-infested waters. You know, change.

Bernardi was initially shocked by revelations that the FBI was investigating the Clinton Foundation's so-called "pay to play" scandal. "How anyone can defend HRC & WJC is beyond belief," he twittered in a now-deleted twit. Presumably, revelations about Donald Trump's numerous conflicts of interest, all of which massively dwarf those of Clinton's, have shocked Bernardi so much he's been unable to comment. Bernardi is a man of character, and we can only assume that his view on corruption is consistent and not cherry-picked.

Bernardi has further warned the LNP not to ignore the lessons of Donald Trump's victory. Given Clinton received three million more votes than Trump, we can assume that the lesson Bernardi is citing is "let's encourage voter suppression."

Pauline Hanson

One Nation founder and hardened ex-con Pauline Hanson was delighted to have received tickets to Trump's inauguration, elevating her to the level of seat filler. Sadly, Hanson had to decline the invitation, instead sending Senator Brian Burston in her place.

Hopefully Burston, whose sole tweet was last August and read "I want to contribute in my own way to a better Australia", can pick up some tips from President Trump about getting those Twitter numbers up.

Hanson scored an invitation despite the fact that our own Prime Minister (a quick google reveals this to be a "Malcolm Turnbull") did not. At first we presume this was because she and fellow One Nation members decided to celebrate Trump's win by drinking champagne in front of Parliament House, in what will one day become one of the key images depicting the pre-apocalypse. It later transpired that this was not the result of some special relationship between the two outliers, but the result of multiple requests from Hanson and Malcolm Roberts to DFAT, who then simulated shock when the invitation came through.


George Christensen

Nationals MP and man who willingly did this, George Christensen, is a supporter of both corporal and capital punishment, doesn't believe in climate change, supports Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte, and thinks the Safe Schools program is something akin to a sexual predator grooming children. What would an inquiring mind like his find to admire in Donald Trump?

On his Facebook page, Christensen, like Bernardi, promoted Donald Trump as an agent for change. On November 6, he said that Hillary Clinton would "drive an agenda of more crony capitalism, more regulation, more globalisation, more climate change nonsense, more attacks on core Western values, more pandering to radical Islam and more war and conflict including against Russia."

Trump, he says, "is funding his own campaign" and will put government "back in the hands of the people rather than special interests." Except for the fact that he didn't self-fund his campaign and his cabinet is stacked with special interests. But hey, facts aren't massively important when you're a politician openly supporting a candidate in another country's election.

Christensen did add that Trump "will spark a bushfire that will see other Western nations jettison [global] deals and treaties as well." On that point, we agree with Christensen. Given bushfires are a destructive force we face every Summer, it's about as apt an analogy as you can get.

Tony Abbott

This brings us to Tony Abbott. Historians and fans of trivia may remember he was briefly the Prime Minister of Australia when a staffing shortage meant there was literally no one more qualified available for the job in mid-2013.

"This is, if you like, the revenge of the deplorables," he said. "All of the people who are sick of being called racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic… just because they hate people of other races, women, gays and Muslims." He didn't actually end his sentence that way, but what he did say was pretty dumb so I decided to help him out. You can read Abbott's original unmolested quote here if you really need to.

Unlike his pro-Trump conservatives buddies in the Liberal Party, Abbott does seem to admire an actual policy of Trump's, as opposed to his general je ne sais quoi.

"The moral panic about [global warming] has been completely over the top," he said (no, really, I didn't change this one). "One of the encouraging things about the election of President Trump is that we should finally be able to see this issue in better perspective."

So what is Trump's position on this issue? He has called global warming a Chinese hoax, denied he called global warming a Chinese hoax, said that global warming couldn't be happening because it's cold today, planned a sea wall to protect his golf course from the effects of global warming, said that Al Gore should have his Nobel Prize for his work on combatting global warming rescinded, met with Al Gore to discuss global warming, says he's keeping an open mind on the subject, nominated climate change denier Scott Pruitt to head the Environmental Protection Agency, and met with the physicist who says global warming is actually happening except it's a good thing because plants like CO2. This water-tight position is clearly one that appeals to Tony Abbott's brand of consistent, value-oriented politics, so it's not hard to see why he's heartened by Trump's victory.

Lee Zachariah is journalist, TV writer, and author of Double Dissolution: Heartbreak and Chaos on the Campaign Trail, out now from Echo Publishing. You can also follow him on Twitter.

The Scientific and Personal Benefits of Masturbating

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Last year, my colleagues in the UK ran a story extolling the virtues of not masturbating. The virtues were, um, limited—a bit of increased productivity, seemingly brought on by a reduction in guilt. With the help of Jim Pfaus, a Concordia University neuroscientist who studies sexual arousal, that piece basically concluded that if you quit stroking it, it would be an interesting novelty, but you're probably going to fall off the wagon pretty quickly, and that won't be a big deal.

But what about the other side of that coin? I consider myself cuffed in the extreme, and my very fortunate romantic situation means I rarely have the inclination to crank it these days. I feel fine, but the realization made me curious: Am I missing out on something? Is masturbating a healthy habit?

To find out, I got back in touch with Pfaus. He told me there's a dearth of useful masturbation data, and helped me look at the topic through a lens of scientific common sense.

VICE: I'm trying to figure out if masturbating is good for you. Googling around, I see a lot of contradictory information, and some obvious myths. You're a scientist who studies this. What's the actual truth?
Jim Pfaus: You're not gonna get an STI. That's maybe the biggest health benefit that, by definition, comes with solitary sexual activity.

Why isn't there more scientific information about masturbation?
There's not a hell of a lot of good science. That's the problem. You can't get [institutional review boards] to give you the authorization to watch people masturbate. And you have to rely on people's self-projection when it comes to asking them questions about how many times a week they masturbate, and try to correlate that with health issues.

"A lot of people masturbate in order to go to sleep—crank it, wank it, splooge, boom, go to sleep." - Jim Pfaus

And what good news is there from that?
What I could find from the last two years [is that] people who masturbate more frequently—[and openly] admit to masturbating—have a more liberal view of sex and sexuality. Women that masturbate more frequently than those who don't also tend to have more sex partners, but also be more confident with their sexual activity. They seem to know their erogenous zones better. Guys don't really, because it's all about our penis, and not so much our nipples, so we don't really go anywhere except our penis. But certainly if we masturbate more frequently, we know our penis better than those who don't.

Is there a way to look at the actual benefits of that self-knowledge? Say by comparing it to the repercussions from a lack of self knowledge?
We can only surmise what would happen. [If a woman] doesn't touch herself for whatever reason—just [being] raised in a very religious household that tells you touching yourself is bad, and you're gonna go to hell? If you buy that, you don't touch yourself, and the repercussions of that are going to be that you've got a really bad sense of sexual self-esteem.

OK, so maybe you get improved self-esteem. What about anxiety relief? When you talked to my colleagues in the UK, you mentioned that masturbation helps people relax. Is that backed up by data?
It's utterly anecdotal. It appears in Kinsey. Masters and Johnson talk about it that way. All of that comes from their patients and clients.

Has it been tested at all?
Irv Binik at McGill [University] has an orgasm checklist. It has all these different adjectives, and on a five-point scale you answer "How well does this word relate to your normative sense of orgasm." [To test for relaxation] you would have to scale the orgasms, and say "when the orgasm does this, does that reduce anxiety?"

Has anyone tested for anything even remotely close to anxiety?
Barry Komisaruk [at Rutgers Univeristy] did a study published in 1986, [which found that women's] pain threshold was elevated dramatically after orgasm and not before orgasm. So [when women have orgasms] their pain thresholds go up, because orgasms have an analgesic effect. That's a real thing.

Can we call that a health benefit?
No, but it follows from the activation of the opioids that your pain threshold would be increased.

OK but are there other aspects of that opioid effect that we can surmise might be beneficial?
Opioids and serotonin. So there are things like sleep—a lot of people masturbate to fall asleep. Anecdotal reports from Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, [and others] say a lot of people masturbate in order to go to sleep—crank it, wank it, splooge, boom, go to sleep. But that's due to the increase in serotonin that gets released. Serotonin pulls you into deep sleep.

"That's where porn use can actually be good. People can see things—whatever it is: anal, oral, throat-fucking, whacking it on somebody's cheek, and they're like 'Oh, you can actually do that!'" - Jim Pfaus

Again, when you spoke to my UK colleagues you touched on the way fantasizing can benefit people's sexual imaginations. How does that work?
If you take porn away, what happens? If you've only had that as your modus of fantasy, it can be kinda hard. You can replay porn in your head, but now what? Are you replaying it with characters you like? Characters from the grocery store you go to? The divorcée two doors down? Who and what are you putting into this? And the situations become kinda cool. You create role-play situations from that. It's not just me taking her to bed. It's me taking her to a bar and fucking her in an alley. Or me taking her to a bar, and then taking her a sleazy hotel that smells of disinfectant... That then is another form of exercise. You're exercising your sexual fantasies.

OK, but how does fantasizing improve our lives?
This is exactly what sex therapists do when bored couples come to them, where the idea would be to increase the arousal. Masters and Johnson did this in the 1960s. You had to go to St. Louis for two weeks [and] be in a room with other people your age who are all talking about their sexual fantasies. [Sex therapy] tries to arouse you by getting you to do something you've never done. So instead of doing it every week on a Friday night in the dark in the missionary position, now the idea is to do it in the bathroom, or the kitchen, [or] in a hammock, or on the swings, or in the kids' bedroom when the kids aren't home. Whatever it is, just explore that.

I see so the fantasy is like a pair of glasses that shows you new and exciting ways to get aroused in the world around you?
Exactly. That's where porn use can actually be good. People can see things—whatever it is: anal, oral, throat-fucking, whacking it on somebody's cheek, and they're like "Oh, you can actually do that!"—[and] when you actually do them, and you have your massive orgasm, riding on that way higher arousal, now you're going to feel like it's safe. Because you know you like something that you didn't know you liked.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

Thirty Missing After Avalanche Buries Hotel in Italy

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Up to 30 people are missing, with many feared dead, after an avalanche struck a ski resort in central Italy Wednesday evening. The avalanche pushed the Rigopiano hotel 30 feet from its foundation and buried it in snow, causing the roof to collapse under its weight. Rescue workers were forced to use skis to reach the hotel in the country's mountainous Abruzzo region, as the surrounding roads were blocked by mounds of snow.

Initial estimates had 20-30 people staying at the resort when the avalanche hit, and at least one body has been retrieved from the scene, the Guardian reported. Authorities have said that at least two children were staying at the resort. It is not yet clear if anyone has been rescued from the building, but several reports say that at least two men escaped the snowslide.

Read more on VICE News


Inside the Anti-Trump Comics Collection 'Resist!'

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The words A Woman's Place is in the Revolution cut across a sea of faces representing American women on the front page of RESIST! The paper, a special issue of Gabe Fowler's quarterly tabloid comics anthology Smoke Signal, includes pieces by over 100 artists of varying ages, genders, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds, but is mostly the work of women. (The cover illustration is by The New Yorker cover artist Gayle Kabaker.) A whopping 58,000 copies have been printed and are being distributed across the country.

"It started from the paralysis right after the election," Françoise Mouly told me over a Google Hangout with her co-editor and daughter Nadja Spiegelman. Mouly is the art director at The New Yorker and publisher at Toon Books. She and Fowler knew one another through the world of comics—Fowler organizes a yearly comics festival in Brooklyn and is the owner of Desert Island, a comics store. Fowler asked Mouly to guest edit this special issue "because he felt it should be women's voices," she said. The project seemed like a tangible and quickly actionable endeavor, and Mouly agreed to do it, recruiting Spiegelman to help with organizing submissions and building a website. "I loved the idea of seeing what the world had to say," Mouly explained.

The issue includes work donated by the likes of Alison Bechdel, Lynda Barry, Roz Chast and Liana Finck, but as Spiegelman (whose father is Maus cartoonist Art Spiegelman) told me, "80 to 85 percent are things that came through the open call." She and Mouly changed the call for submissions on the RESIST! website several times in order to refine and explain what they were looking for: comics of varying sizes, with images by women being "privileged," as Mouly put it, over men's submissions. However, the issue dedicates the final pages to men's work, as well as a page featuring gender-nonconforming artists. Mouly and Spiegelman ended up with over a thousand submissions, all of which will appear on the site over time.

The editorial process, Spiegelman said, was unique for her and Mouly—they felt they were midwives more than editors. "Rather than saying, 'Do we like this, do we not like this, do we agree with this, do we not agree with this?' we were trying to add in as many voices and styles as possible so that there's the full range and diversity of the collective voice."

"There's a substantial portion of professional artists [in the issue]," Mouly added, "but there are also people who can't draw to save their lives, doctors and dentists and auto mechanics that have not until now used comics or drawing. For an art director, this is so exciting because it is such a real visualization of the energy that drawing can channel when you let it happen."

The project has created a grassroots network of distributors (you can become one here), volunteers in various cities around the US who will be getting massive amounts of copies and will work with their local connections to get the paper in bookstores and other spaces. "I think it's a way of beginning to define what we're for," Spiegelman said. "We're for unity, diversity, creativity. By making this manifest, by printing so many copies and papering the streets with it—it's being the change you want to see in the world."

Joan Reilly

One of the volunteers is Joan Reilly, a 44-year-old cartoonist and illustrator who contributed to RESIST!. She lives in Kurztown, Pennsylvania, and she and her husband have been "getting involved with the local literate, artistic, future-thinking community." Distribution for her "may end up being a door-to-door, town-to-town road-trip type of thing, but I am passionate about getting it into people's hands, so I'll make it happen one way or another."

Jazmine Boatman

Other contributors I spoke to were similarly determined. Jazmine Boatman, a 22-year-old college student and freelance illustrator, said that she felt betrayed after the election: "Not only had I just watched our nation elect an awful, vile, childish, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, inexperienced, etc. man as our next president but I also had to cope with the fact that quite a few people close to me had voted for him. There's probably going to be a lot of pain and struggling for the next couple of years and that is exactly why artists are needed now more than ever. Artists in all forms of media need to be even bolder in their statements and more assertive and insistent on making sure their voices are heard. People are going to want to know that they are not alone in their fears and concerns and those who are not afraid need to know why a lot of people are. Publications like RESIST! are setting an example by giving artists like me a platform and a chance to share our feelings with people on a larger scale."

Quinn Nelson

Quinn Nelson, a 13-year-old contributor, told me that "RESIST! will spread awareness of the fact that people have very real and raw emotions about the election and everything it stands for." She added, with wonderfully prescient understanding of feminist history, "Typically, feminist movements are very white. Hopefully, because of the racist ideals Trump stands for, more ethnically diverse women and men alike will participate this time around."

Ali Shapiro

Ali Shapiro, a 33-year-old lecturer at the University of Michigan, was more skeptical about the project, but still eager: "I tend to vacillate between 'Everything matters and art must save the world!' and 'Oh well, nothing matters, may as well make art.'" But she also sees a possibility in this medium of communication: "We have a fake news problem, right? Which tells me (among other things) that we need to find new ways to communicate important information and ideas. Maybe comics can help! Maybe visual language can produce empathy in ways written words can't. Maybe comics journalists (like Joe Sacco and Josh Neufeld, e.g.) can render sources (and their relative trustworthiness) visible and accessible in ways a hyperlink in the middle of a dense news article can't."

Gabe Fowler's outlook was also less hopeful. "I've never been more skeptical in my whole life as I am right now," he said. "The election itself was proof that communication is impossible, so I don't really expect to change anyone's mind with this paper and I questioned that all the way through—why are we even doing this? Well, there is a cathartic benefit to artists participating in an avenue for expression to just get rid of some of these negative feelings. All I can do is attempt to create a platform to expunge some of these bad vibes." He went on, "I think it is the duty of anyone who is upset to make it as visible as possible all the time. There's no other way."

Both Fowler and Spiegelman are going to Washington, DC, for inauguration and the Women's March on January 21. "To me, inauguration day is the target," Fowler told me. "The people who need to see the content of this newspaper are the people who will be at inauguration, the Trump supporters. Getting it to the people who are marching is important, and it's a gesture of solidarity, but it is also preaching to the converted." How distribution will work at the inauguration is still a mystery, as a van full of papers will need to be inside the area that is closed off to nonresident parking on days before and after January 20 so that Fowler, Spiegelman, and volunteers will be able to unload and hand out copies without needing to go through security checkpoints.

Despite the difficulties in putting together the issue and the still-open questions regarding the project's future—if it has one, which is unclear, though the website will continue to be updated often—Mouly and Spiegelman were invigorated by the endeavor. "What we experienced personally," Mouly said, as Spiegelman nodded emphatically, "was a reconnection with optimism, and a belief that the future will be something we can inhabit because we'll be making it and we'll be a part of it. This clearly demonstrates the power of collective arm-holding. There is a collective will that is not xenophobic, racist, sexist, but is very democratic and knows how to express itself."

Follow Ilana Masad on Twitter.

LIVE: Watch Rick Perry Explain Why He Should Lead the Agency He Wanted to Cut

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On Thursday, former Texas governor Rick Perry will sit before the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources and tout his vision for the very same department he famously forgot the name of while listing government agencies he'd vow to get rid of as president.

Despite that hiccup during his 2012 presidential campaign, Perry is seen as a favorite of conservatives for the job having overseen Texas's energy economy as the state's longest serving governor and capable of bringing reform to the department.

However, Perry, who lacks the scientific background crucial to the role, will also be grilled on how he plans to manage the country's stockpile of nuclear weapons—a part of the job he apparently did not understand initially—under a president who has called for the US to "expand its nuclear capability." The department of energy also played a crucial part in Obama's nuclear deal with Iran, something that Trump often criticized on the campaign trail.

Additionally the former governor will likely be asked about his ties to the coal and gas industry and his views on clean energy, climate change skepticism, and connection with various pipeline companies. Before Trump's nomination, Perry served as a director for the company behind the Dakota Access pipeline, which Obama blocked last month.

Watch the livestream of his confirmation hearing below at 10 AM.

The New 'Power Rangers' Trailer Has Fewer Sad Teens and More Colorful Punching

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The Power Rangers gritty reboot attempt will hit theaters in March, but up until now, we haven't seen a whole lot about it. The first trailer was heavy on emotional teens emoting, and light on the stuff that actually made Power Rangers great back in the 90s—namely, brightly colored ass-kicking scenes and giant robots.

Thankfully, a new trailer for the movie dropped Thursday, and it tones down the brutally lame "sad teens in Angel Grove" stuff in favor of some campy action. We get to see the Rangers morph and summon their Zords and even fight some bumbling rock creatures that may or may not be an updated Putty Patrol.

We also get our first look at Zordon, the Power Ranger guru who was a blue head floating in a big tube back in the original series. This time around, Zordon is played by Brian Cranston, and he looks like someone sticking their face in a giant pin art toy. Could be worse!

The whole thing is still the same overly slick, CG action that's par for the course in our post-Transformers world, but it's fun, at least, which is more than could be said for that last trailer. The movie will still be garbage more likely than not, but at least it looks like it will be entertaining garbage.

Watch the trailer below. Power Rangers hits theaters on March 24, and look out for the inevitable Big Bad Beetleborgs reboot to follow.

Help, I Think the CRA is Stalking Me Online!

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Heeeeey CRA, hope you're not reading this right now because I haven't combed through my Twitter account yet to delete all those tweets about not paying my student loans. I noticed this morning that you suddenly employ a bunch of tax narcs to dig through Facebook pages and Twitter feeds looking for suspects who cheat on their taxes, which honestly just kinda seems like it's specifically about me.

I'm really sorry I haven't filed my taxes in a while but someone once told me that if you don't owe anything then technically the deadline is more of a suggestion than a hard rule. Is that true? I hope that's true because I've just been suuuuuuuper busy and to be perfectly real it's not fair to make someone who makes so little deal with that reality in such an official way every single year.

Like I said, I'm fully planning on doing that as soon as I can get my shit together. I just need to renew my health card first, so that's a whole morning right there. And then I was going to join that sketchy gym that gives away free pizzas on Mondays, and I feel pretty committed to that, so as soon as I get those two things off my plate I 100 percent will get those taxes in to you, ASAP. Just need to cross that stuff of the list. Also gonna be out of town for a bit, but after that, I'm all yours.

No need to scroll too far back on my Facebook wall. I was obviously just kidding about hiding money under my mattress. I don't even have a bed. I'd also appreciate some leniency on those Instagram posts about my nice new coat, because it cost a lot less than you think. If you do the math on how many times I'll wear it this winter it was basically free. Besides, everyone knows that social media's just one big flex, you can't take any of that seriously. It's just my online brand!

Why are you doing this to me? Is it because I didn't call you back? I can't afford voicemail and my screen's too cracked to see who's calling. Also I moved and my new place doesn't allow mail, so again, sorry. It's not you, it's me. Call off your social media creeps, I swear I'm working on it! Unrelated, does anyone know how to file taxes?

Follow Amil on Twitter unless you're the CRA in which case she actually died two years ago.

Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump Are Going to be Hilariously, Dangerously Mismatched Roommates

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You know that scene in Children of Men where Clive Owen is riding the bus while a propaganda video is listing the names of world capitals over apocalyptic newsreel footage before declaring "THE WORLD HAS COLLAPSED; ONLY BRITAIN SOLDIERS ON"?

That's probably how most Canadians are feeling this week now that Donald Trump's inauguration has finally arrived.

This is it, folks. Zero hour of a brave new world where America may or may not have a functioning executive branch as of 12:15 PM on January 20. Fasten your safety belts and please keep your limbs inside the vehicle at all times.

Meanwhile, Justin Trudeau is now the Dudley Do-Right of international liberalism, riding ass-backwards into a confrontation with an unpredictable US president bent on overturning the North American order. It's a tall order for anybody, but especially for a prime minister whose political ideas and personal style are so wildly different from The Donald's.

How will this actually play out in US-Canada relations? Here are a couple of the major issues where we're likely to see some real tension.

THE BRAND

Even if the formal machinery of international North American politics hold more-or-less together, the biggest shift in Canada/US relations once Trump is inaugurated will likely be at the symbolic level. Not only can we probably expect an awkward personal relationship between Trump and Trudeau, but both countries have staked out pretty different turf for their national identities.

It will be fun to see Trudeau's Canada facing off against Trump's America. The Liberals are in charge of the Canada 150 celebrations this year, and their branding of this country is famously tied to the Great White North being a magical multicultural land where immigrants with advanced degrees can thrive as menial labourers while Laurentian whites nod sagely to one another during Vinyl Café listening parties. Canadian smarm will probably go into overdrive sometime around late June.

On the flipside, it's been barely two months since the US election and it's already having a profound impact on our political discourse (hello, Kellie Leitch!). It'll be interesting to see what happens as the Conservative leadership race wraps up and sets the tone for the next two years of federal politics, in much the same way that tracking the progress of Ebola was interesting for people working at the Centre for Disease Control.

At a more elemental level, there is the basic clash of personalities. It's tailor-made for a low-budget TV comedy. Trudeau is the soft-spoken, metrosexual male feminist who cares about your feelings and will do the dishes for you and possibly also give you a foot bath if you indulge that weird sexual thing he's into that you find vaguely uncomfortable in its strangeness but not particularly threatening in any way, it's just not your thing but he's really into it so it's a bit of a give and take situation and otherwise honestly he's a pretty good catch all things considered. This is a metaphor for ethics scandals, I guess.

Donald Trump is a big loud oaf who only cares about making deals and bragging about sex crimes and tweeting rude reviews of the burrito stand across the street. What will these two wacky roommates get up to next?!

Despite their totally opposite personas, the great irony in all this is how similar they are. They're both glorified salespeople for nationalist ideas that extend beyond themselves. Trudeau is technocratic neoliberalism with a human face and Trump is chauvinism in a gaudy suit. Trudeau is the spokesman for the Ottawa mandarin class and Trump is the spokesman for the impotent American id.

They are the two-faced god of late capitalism in North America. One face sweetly whispers empowering slogans and the other hisses your most erotically violent revenge fantasies. They are the apotheosis of the politics of branding, and the worst conflicts always stem from the narcissism of small differences. Expect Canada to be thoughtlessly lionized in the liberal press on both sides of the 49th parallel and for cuckoldry to go mainstream as a Canadian conservative epithet.

NATO

Assuming Trump is not literally a Russian stooge (doubtful, but don't tell Clintonites), he has still expressed cavalier indifference for NATO. This is a stark contrast from the last six or so decades of American presidents, who have otherwise sworn up and down that they were willing to start a nuclear war with Russia over a bas-terre principality. He's on the record as calling it "obsolete" and questioning the relevance of a Cold War relic for the 21st century.

His specific complaints are that its organizational structure is ill-equipped to tackle terrorism, and that most NATO members are free-riding off American military power. Add in Trump's, uhh, enthusiasm for thawing American relations with Russia—once and future nemesis of the North Atlantic alliance—and it's likely this signals a scaling down of American involvement in NATO.

To say this would really shake things up is an understatement. Canada has repeatedly stressed its support for the alliance, and it's currently leading the charge to stack Eastern Europe with soldiers as a deterrent to Russia. But Canada also ranks 23rd out of 28 in terms of actually funding and supporting NATO, so, in the wake of a US shift, Trudeau will have to put up or shut up as far as defence spending goes. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether or not that actually happens, but given the last 40 years of trends in Canadian government, I'm not holding my breath.

CLIMATE CHANGE

Trump, rather infamously, is on record stating that climate change is a hoax invented by the Chinese. He is heading a cabinet full of climate change deniers, has promised to resurrect the declining American coal industry, and mused about expanding petroleum drilling and mining operations on federal land.

Of course, to an extent, this might not matter. Even if Trump does make good on his promise to rescue coal, it may be too late to stop the march of clean energy. Renewables are increasingly cost-competitive with fossil fuels—thanks, in part, to efforts from the Obama administration.

But he will also be leading an American state that will be non-cooperative with international climate standards at best and actively obstructionist and belligerent at worst. This will be fun for Trudeau, who will have to struggle to have Canada meet those international standards (a tenuous goal for the Liberals in the best of times). He'll also have to do it while the American government is broadcasting its hostility to climate change policy. Imagine "Radio Liberty" but for the tar sands and you have the blueprint for all future fights between Alberta and the federal government for the next two-to-eight years.

Then again, if Trump does actually open up federal land to drilling and mining and floods the market with cheap American oil, the tar sands might be rendered obsolete anyway. Have fun, Justin!

TRADE

Donald Trump has said he wants to rip up the North American Free Trade Agreement. We should probably take it pretty seriously, since ramping up domestic protectionism seems to be the only consistent aspect of post-campaign Trump (aside from the generalized atmosphere of lunacy). If dude is chirping car manufacturers on Twitter for moving to Mexico, he might also come at Canada hard, either through threats of tariffs or promises of subsidies for American companies who stay at home.

Canada will want to be prepared to play hardball at the negotiating table, and shuffling Chrystia Freeland into Foreign Affairs suggests this is the tack they're taking. Freeland is credited with salvaging the Canada-Europe Trade Agreement from Brexit and the Belgians last year, so now Trudeau has picked her to lead the country's counter-offensive when Trump arrives at the bargaining table.

That said, there are also a lot of indications that Trump's swipes at NAFTA have more to do with Mexico than us. According to Wilbur Ross, the billionaire leech tapped to handle the US Department of Commerce, the main issues on the renegotiation table will be NAFTA's "country of origin" regulations and the treaty's independent dispute resolution panels.

Country of origin regulations dictate how much non-NAFTA origin content that commodities can contain to qualify for duty-free movement within the North American trade zone. Trump, for instance, has accused Mexico of cheating NAFTA and undercutting American manufacturers by exporting cars made with cheap Chinese auto parts. Similarly, the independent dispute panels are meant to sort out trade disputes at arms' length from the states involved. The Americans feel that these panels—where representatives of the US, Canada, and Mexico adjudicate disputes—are too unaccountable and stacked against the US (although Canada and Mexico would probably disagree).

All told, Canada probably doesn't have much to worry about on the trade front with the US. Canada is America's largest trading partner and we generally keep our heads down. Even Wilbur Ross is on record stating that "you don't hear [Trump] voice huge complaints about Canada… trade between the US and Canada is relatively much better balanced than between the US and Mexico."

In all likelihood, most of these NAFTA negotiations will probably focus on the US cutting Mexico out of its free trade deals with Canada, and the Canadian government taking credit for standing up for the middle class. Also, expect to hear a lot about softwood lumber, whatever that is.

So, there you have it. You won't need to read another article about Trudeau-Trump relations ever again because there is no possibility of President Trump doing something completely insane and unpredictable and fucking up our dear nation's thoroughly unambitious plans for the future.  

Follow Drew Brown on Twitter .

The Vice Morning Bulletin

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Everything you need to know about the world this morning, curated by VICE.

US News

Law Enforcement Agencies Probe Possible Russian Payment of US Hackers
US intelligence and law enforcement agencies have reportedly been investigating whether Russia sent money to hackers in the US to try to help Donald Trump win the election. According to two sources, one of the lines of inquiry is whether a routine system of giving Russian-American pensioners money was used as a "ruse" to pay off hackers in the US.—McClatchy DC

GOP Aide Fired for Setting Up Fake News Site
A Republican aide who created a fake news site accusing Hillary Clinton of trying to rig the election has been fired. Republican David E. Vogt III, a Maryland state delegate, said he fired aide Cameron Harris "on the spot" after learning he had set up ChristianTimesNewspaper.com and a false article about fraudulent Clinton votes in Ohio in September last year.—The Washington Post

Clinton Leads Poll in Hypothetical NYC Mayoral Match-Up
A new Quinnipiac University poll shows Hillary Clinton leading current New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio 49 percent to 30 percent in a hypothetical match-up for this year's mayoral election. Neither Clinton nor any of her closest advisors have given a real inkling she would be keen to run for public office again.—ABC News

Former Georgia Governor Chosen as Agriculture Secretary
President-elect Donald Trump has apparently settled on former Georgia governor Sonny Perdue as the next US agriculture secretary, according to transition officials. Perdue, 70, whose cousin is a US senator, was known to advocate a "pro-business" agenda as a legislator and is the founding partner of a global agribusiness trading company.—Bloomberg

International News

Thirty Trapped After Italian Hotel Hit by Avalanche
At least one person has been killed and some 30 others are believed to be trapped inside a hotel in central Italy after it was engulfed by an avalanche. The first rescuers were forced to battle the snow on skis to reach the hotel at the foot of the Gran Sasso mountain.—CNN

Gambian President Clings to Power Despite Deadline Passing
Yahya Jammeh has refused to step down despite losing December's presidential election in Gambia. The leaders of the Economic Community of West African States had threatened to enforce the election victory of his rival Adama Barrow if a Wednesday night deadline for his resignation was missed. Troops from Senegal, Nigeria, and Ghana have reportedly gathered on the Senegalese border.—Al Jazeera

ISIS Lost Almost a Quarter of Its Territory Last Year, Report Says
The Islamic State lost nearly a quarter of its territory in 2016, according to a report by security and defense analysts IHS Markit. The 23 percent reduction in land in Iraq and Syria has left the group with collective turf roughly the size of Florida. The firm behind the report suggests ISIS will lose the city of Mosul to Iraqi government forces by the middle of this year.—BBC News

Duterte Lashes Out At Catholic Church, Calls for 'Showdown,' Despite Blessing
Pope Francis just blessed the Philippines' president Rodrigo Duterte, but that didn't stop the brutal drug warrior—who has killed thousands as part of a national terror campaign against users and addicts alike—from going off on church officials for alleged homosexuality, corruption, and child abuse.—Reuters

Everything Else

McCartney Sues Sony for Copyright of Beatles Songs
Paul McCartney has filed a lawsuit against Sony in an attempt to get copyright control of songs he wrote with John Lennon as part of The Beatles. McCartney's suit cites a US law allowing songwriters to get copyright back 56 years after the date of original ownership.—SPIN

Beyoncé Backs Women's March in DC
Beyoncé has backed Saturday's post-inauguration women's empowerment march in Washington, DC, making her Chime for Change campaign an official partner. She said the march was a chance to "raise our voices as mothers, artists, and as activists."—Rolling Stone

Julian Assange Backpedals on Extradition Pledge, Obviously
In a less than shocking development, WikiLeaks' Julian Assange appears to have backed away from a pledge to accept extradition to the US if Chelsea Manning was granted clemency. His lawyers argue he had actually demanded Manning's immediate pardon and release.—AP

Earth Has Hottest Year in Recorded History
According to both NASA and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, 2016 was the hottest year on planet Earth since records began in 1880. NASA said 2016 was .22 degrees warmer than 2015.—VICE

John Legend and Metallica to Play Grammys
John Legend, Metallica, and Carrie Underwood are among the first artists announced to be playing at the 2017 Grammy Awards. More performers will be revealed before the Sunday, February 12 ceremony at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.—Noisey

Sixty Percent of Primates Under Threat of Extinction
A huge new study, authored by 31 experts on primates and conservation, found that 60 percent of the world's non-human primate species are threatened with extinction due to human activities. Tearing down forests has had the single biggest impact.—Motherboard

Inside the BPM Shooting: Drug Cartels and Corruption Threaten Mexico's Festival Scene

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The future of Mexico's dance music festivals is in limbo after the BPM festival, one of Mexico's preeminent electronic music events, ended in a bloody shootout that left five people dead and 15 others injured on Monday. The incident took place at a nightclub in Playa Del Carmen, a top tourist destination on Mexico's Caribbean coast. In response to increased organized crime-related violence in the iconic Riviera Maya region, local authorities are now calling for a ban on upcoming festivals until further notice.

Almost two days after the incident, authorities have yet to shed light on what exactly happened at the Blue Parrot night club at around 2:30 AM on Monday, when a gunman entered the establishment on closing night of the festival's tenth edition. Yesterday, Quintana Roo state attorney Miguel Angel Pech Cen said that local law enforcement are pursuing three different lines of investigation pertaining to extortion, drug dealing, or a targeted execution. But while authorities work on determining the motive, Monday's deadly shooting is already threatening the future of the area's live music scene. Local officials and businesses are now voicing their opposition to BPM's return next year, bringing to light some of the complex tensions between a burgeoning musical tourism industry, organized crime, and public safety.

"We want [...] to generate jobs, but in a cordial and healthy environment, where families, [those of] us who live here, can live in peace," said Maria Elena Mata, president of a local union representing business owners in the region, at a press conference on Monday. "We also ask, and we're having a positive response, that these kinds of events go away from here, that we do not allow one more. We don't want more BPM, nor any other events like it." Mata added that the area was hoping to attract a different, "healthier" kind of clientele.

Read more on Thump


I Got Shot on Facebook Live

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A version of this article originally appeared on the Trace.

The evening of July 12, 2016, began like any other carefree summer night for Tommy Williams. He had just made up with his girlfriend and had picked up two of his cousins. The three were now hanging out in a car parked in the Berkeley neighborhood of Norfolk, Virginia, laughing, sharing a blunt, and chanting along to the drill music of Lil Bibby. From his phone, Williams streamed it all for a handful of followers on Facebook Live. About five minutes after pressing record, Williams rapped the lyrics, "Word around town is we got them pounds." Seconds later, a volley of bullets exploded through the passenger side window.

I felt the glass fly across my face. I tried to jump out of the car—that's when I was shot two times in my back. I tried to move but I couldn't, so I lay on my stomach with my face to the ground, holding my head. Gunshots were still going off.

I remember looking to my left, where my cousin was laying on the ground beside me. He'd jumped out of the car too. I saw his body flinching as he was getting shot.

There was a warm, tingling feeling in my legs—I guess that was my legs going out on me. One of the bullets hit me in my back and exited through the front of my neck, close to my shoulder; my arm was real twisted up. It was like a sharp burning pain, like my arm was broken.

I was thinking I was about to die.

Williams's phone fell to the car floor but continued to record. Dozens more shots snapped off. Then came a moment of silence, and Williams's voice saying, "Call the ambulance, please." A man can be heard urging the cousins to "stay calm, stay relaxed." Williams tried to follow that advice, even though he was in searing pain and it was becoming hard to breathe. The paramedics arrived and took him and his cousins to a hospital. As night fell, the video slowly faded to black.

The next day Williams awoke groggily in a hospital bed, at the beginning of a long and difficult recovery. Overnight, the Facebook Live video had spread across the Internet, picked up by outlets from the local newspaper to the New York Times to the BBC. What very few of the video's million-plus viewers knew was the extent of Williams's injuries. One of the bullets had severed his spinal cord, paralyzing him from the middle of his chest down.

I knew I couldn't walk that first day, but I thought it was temporary. After I'd been moved to the ninth floor for rehab, the doctor and his assistants came and told me my injury was complete. That was terrifying. I broke down and cried, cried, cried. I remember calling my girlfriend and telling her that I had a one percent chance of ever walking again. We were both crying together on the phone.

From time to time I catch myself going back to watch the video, trying to refresh my memory of that day—what I could have done differently, how I could have been more alert. It's hard to watch, and sometimes I have to exit out. I don't listen to that Lil Bibby song anymore.

Other times, I wish the video didn't exist, because a lot of people had negative stuff to say about it. One guy was saying we brought the shooting upon ourselves because we were sitting in the car smoking marijuana. Just because we were smoking a little bit of weed, they feel like we gangstas, America's Most Wanted. Another guy made a comment saying the whole thing was a hoax.

There is no national registry of spinal cord injuries, but the National Spinal Cord Injury Statistical Center estimates that between 243,000 and 347,000 people in the U.S. have suffered one. Thirteen percent of those patients—or between 31,590 and 45,110 Americans—were injured as a result of violence, usually a gunshot.

A recent photo of Tommy Williams

The path of each gunshot survivor's recovery is shaped by an array of variables, including their level of injury, insurance coverage, financial situation, and support system—but almost all will spend the rest of their lives coping with their conditions. According to Jooyoung Lee, a sociologist who has studied gunshot survivors in Philadelphia, many victims do not have access to extensive medical or mental health care once they're released from the hospital.

At 25, Williams is still young enough to receive health insurance through his father's employer. He sees a physical therapist and an occupational therapist and attends therapy five days a week, from 7:30 AM to 4 PM. He says he recently got approved for Medicaid, which he is counting on to take over when he ages out of his dad's plan, though the potential repeal of the Affordable Care Act and other changes to federal health insurance policy make his future access to necessary treatments uncertain.

I signed up for social security, disability, but all of that is still pending. I haven't been approved for anything.

Once you get a spinal cord injury, it throws off your whole balance. At first, I couldn't even sit up without my blood pressure dropping. I had to learn how to transfer from a wheelchair to a bed or a mat, how to put my shoes on, how to dress myself, how to bathe myself.

One of the bullets came out through my neck near my shoulder and messed up a lot of nerves in my arm. I had to learn how to use my core muscles in my stomach and regain a lot of strength in my arm again. I have real bad nerve damage and have to take pain medicine.

Spinal cord injuries can be extremely disruptive to a person's ability to do physical activities they once took for granted. Williams is one of many forced to leave jobs they can no longer perform.

Before this happened I could make my own money. I'd been working at the Norfolk Naval Shipyard as a fire watcher, watching out for fires on the ship. Now, being in a wheelchair, I can't walk up stairs on the naval ship or move through tight spaces.

I'm not able to work. I have zero income. I'm relying on my mom and my dad to help me out.

My oldest daughter, who lives in Georgia, was turning four in October. I didn't have no money to buy her nothing for her birthday. My dad gave me some money and took me to the mall so I could go shopping for her. It ain't nothing like being able to do it yourself.

Shooting survivors who are paralyzed sometimes feel isolated in their new lifestyle. Many turn to social media for practical advice, connection, and inspiration. Earlier this week, The Trace profiled Tyrone Shoemake, a gunshot survivor and paraplegic in Philadelphia who's hawking his personal brand of motivation to others in wheelchairs. Williams discovered Shoemake as well, and was amazed to see him working out and driving.

I just can't move the way I used to. I stay in a second-floor apartment, and I can't walk up and down the stairs. I could benefit from a single-floor apartment or house. When I'm not at therapy, I'm just in the house. The only thing I really have to do, if I'm not playing video games or playing with my kids, is be on Facebook.

A lot of my closest friends faded away. It's like they forgot about me, or I don't exist to them anymore because I can't walk. The only people that really come and check on me is my family and my girlfriend. Say the weekend come, I know everyone else is going out to the clubs, but I gotta be in the house, stuck. That's when I feel lonely.

Driving is one thing I'd like to do that would make me feel normal again. I've seen this one lady who goes to therapy, she has her own customized van and the hand controls. I'd like a customized van or truck that could easily put me into the vehicle. I also need those hand controls that people in wheelchairs use. There's a place in Norfolk that sells them.

My youngest daughter lives in Norfolk, and we spend a lot of time together. She's used to seeing me standing tall, walking straight. It hurts that she has to see me in a wheelchair, that she has to ask me, "Daddy, why you can't walk?" To go outside to play with her, my cousin has to carry me down the stairs on his back.

Check out the VICE News short on how 2016 saw the most homicides in Chicago in decades.

Three weeks after the Norfolk shooting, US Marshals arrested a suspect. But Williams worries there was more than one shooter, and that the others are still at large. (The Norfolk police did not provide further comment on the case, citing a pending trial.) After getting out of the hospital, he decided he needed protection.

When I first got out of the hospital, I went to the local gunshop and I tried to purchase a handgun. I was just trying to protect myself. The people who shot us were still out on the streets, and they hadn't been in court yet. Back then they had a lead on one person, but he wasn't the only one involved. There was other people involved.

Williams failed his background check—he says he didn't realize a felony conviction on his juvenile record would bar him from owning a firearm—and was now guilty of providing false information. Virginia is one of eight states with a "lie and try" policy, meaning local law enforcement is notified whenever someone fails a background check. Virginia law enforcement also is compelled to investigate every denied sale, which resulted in Williams's indictment and arrest. He is due in court in March.

Once they told me I couldn't get a gun, I let it go. I take different precautions. I used to post on Facebook, like, 'I'm going this place, I'm going that place.' Now I just keep my whereabouts and location to myself, secretive.

A version of this article was originally published by the Trace, a nonprofit news organization covering guns in America. Sign up for the newsletter, or follow the Trace on Facebook or Twitter.


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Revisiting the New Radicals Song That Taught Us How to Navigate the Future

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Traditionally, the best and most important songs are those that win awards, feature in box-sets, or push toward a movement that illuminates how we view the world and everyone in it. Tracks like David Bowie's "Heroes," Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit," or The Sex Pistols' "God Save the Queen" spring to mind. But if we're to see ourselves as a vessel that's slowly being filled with our own experiences until the ticker in our brain turns itself off, there's another type of song that's as important to existence as anything Rolling Stone have put in their 500 Greatest Songs of All Time list.

These significant, crucial compositions are the tracks that carry us through life. They're as infused in our childhood memories of riding in hot cars as they are in collapsing to our knees in a karaoke bar, somewhere around the age of 25, feeling like we're teetering on the edge of an existential crisis. Of course, there's no reason these songs can't be in the vein of Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On" or Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind". But more often than not, the ones that make the most impact are those you were forced into listening to, through domestic legislation, as a child. They're The Pale Fountains' "Jean's Not Happening." Or they're The New Radicals with their enchanting hit single and 1990s totem "You Get What You Give."

In my case, it is both of these songs. For the sake of argument though (and to keep in line with anyone born after 1990), forget The Pale Fountains. Instead, let's remember The New Radicals. Like most formative memories, my first experience with the band took place as I was sliding across a village hall floor, calypso cup in hand, reaching for my own version of heaven or Las Vegas. At that age, you don't really think about what happens next. In your unformed mind, you imagine you'll be skidding across dusty, recreational floors for the rest of your life. As someone who's leaning into adulthood though, I've found myself thinking a lot about "You Get What You Give," what it means to me, and perhaps more pertinently, to the way in which we navigate the future.

Read more on Noisey

People Are Really Pissed Off About This Leaked Footage from 'A Dog’s Purpose'

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There have been mixed emotions leading up to the release of A Dog's Purpose—a feel-good movie starring Dennis Quaid about a dog who is reincarnated as different canine breeds. The trailer made my colleague Amil Niazi sob repeatedly. Another friend, on Twitter, wrote "this is it. The dumbest movie possible."

But, after the release of leaked footage of a clearly-terrified German Shepherd from the movie being forced into rushing water, there seems to be consensus that the people behind A Dog's Purpose fucked up.

The leaked clip, which was filmed in Winnipeg and surfaced on TMZ Wednesday, shows the dog, Hercules, and his trainer at the edge of a pool filled with rushing jet streams. Hercules is scrambling to get away, but his trainer holds onto his collar and pushes him towards the pool.

The man behind the camera says, "he ain't gonna calm down until he goes in the water. Just gotta throw him in."

Hercules' feet slip into the pool, as the owner continues to hold him, and he scrambles back out, still very afraid.

"He wants to get away, just throw him in," says the cameraman, chuckling.

Eventually Hercules is pushed back into the pool, though his owner holds onto his collar so his head is still sticking out. The footage then cuts to a scene of Hercules struggling under the current, as a man shouts "cut it! Cut it!"

Since the footage leaked, a Toronto-based group called Animal Justice has filed a lawsuit over the treatment of the dog. Meanwhile, PETA has accused the movie of violating animal welfare laws and has called for dog lovers to boycott A Dog's Purpose. Even the director, who said he wasn't on set for the scene, has called it "disturbing."

Amblin Entertainment and Universal Pictures released a statement Wednesday, saying Hercules was treated with care and was not forced to perform that stunt.  

Meanwhile, the not-yet-release film's IMDB ratings are sitting at one star, with all six reviews referencing animal abuse.

Melissa Millett, a stunt dog trainer with Ultimutts, who has worked with dogs on movies, said the scene was completely mishandled.

She told VICE trainers are given scripts ahead of time and should be able to cast animal actors that are suited to the roles.

"We look at what these dogs can do, what they're comfortable with, and in this scene you would find a dog who is obsessed with water," she said, noting there is never a shortage of dog actors.

In this situation, she said the right thing to do, once observing that the dog is scared, is to try to get the dog comfortable.

"Turn off the jets, get him swimming around, then while he's already in the pool and he's in a good mindframe… turn on the jets for just a second" and gradually increase the duration he's in the pool with the jets.

"You don't shove the dog in the pool."

Millett, who has been training dogs for 18 years, said she would describe the scene as animal abuse, especially because of the turbulent nature of the water.

"To the animal, he's fearful for his life. When he went under, it turns out, valid fear. There were no safety measures in line."

She said it didn't appear the dog had a strong relationship with the trainer. Millett said a trainer can feel pressured to make a dog perform on a movie set due to the amount of money spent on any given scene. But she hopes the release of this footage will cause people to think twice.

"It's a good thing for the ethical people to kind of give them that strength to say they're not going do that," she said. "If (the dogs) are not having fun there are a million other volunteers."

Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.

Season 5 of VICE on HBO (Trailer)

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The award-winning VICE on @HBO returns February 24 at 11PM

BC City Hit with More KKK Propaganda, This Time for Martin Luther King Jr. Day

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For the second time in recent months, residents of Abbotsford, BC woke up to find KKK propaganda on their doorsteps—this time on Martin Luther King weekend.

Constable Ian MacDonald of the Abbotsford police told VICE at least 70 residents received pamphlets containing information about the KKK, the infamous white supremacist, and that they contained racist rhetoric about MLK, the American Civil Rights Movement leader.

The pamphlets were delivered in the KKK delivery tactic known as "Knight Riding," where the packets are thrown out of the window of a moving vehicle onto the driveways of residential homes.

The pamphlets labelled MLK as a "communist pervert". Constable MacDonald, told the Canadian Press that the pamphlet just "goes down from there" in terms of content. The pamphlets were delivered on Martin Luther King Jr. day, the US holiday celebrating the Civil Rights movement leader.

This is documents espousing racist rhetoric have been distributed in the BC community. Flyers with KKK recruitment information and messages such as "Yes! White Lives Do Matter!" were included in bags of rice last year.not the first time

Local cops are investigating whether these incidents are "two idiots in their basement," or if the white supremacist movement is gaining traction in the BC community, MacDonald said.  

"I don't think the KKK is spreading here," he said, however.

"Everyone [who received the pamphlets] responded the same way—disgust." We can't just shove our shoulders and say, 'Oh well.' These actions are not welcome and not wanted."

Follow Ankanaa Chowdhury on Twitter.

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