It's good to be skeptical about wonder drugs, because often there's nothing wonderful about them at all. So when a finance worker friend of mine told me he'd discovered a miracle treatment that gives him a huge advantage over his colleagues, I was dubious. "No – I'm full of energy every day and feel like a new person!" he promised. "I don't need to drink eight cups of coffee every day now; this is so much better, and I just get a top up every few weeks!"

I suspected he may have just found out about modafinil, or one of the other study drugs internet psychonauts have already been using for years. But I was wrong. He sent me a link to a pharmacy in South Kensington offering intravenous "Brain Reboot Infusions", which of course sound far too much like something from Minority Report to be genuinely real. But I decided to give my friend the benefit of the doubt and do a little research anyway.

The main ingredient in the intravenous cocktail is nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide, or "NAD+". Discovered in 1906, it's a coenzyme found in all living cells that is "essentially responsible for converting food energy into cellular energy", according to Dr Mark Collins, Consultant Psychiatrist at the Priory Hospital, Roehampton.

The internet tells me NAD+ is popular among the "anti-ageing community", thanks to a Harvard Medical School study that found it rewound "aspects of age-related demise in mice". It's also supposedly good for: detoxing from drink and drugs, increasing energy and focus, reducing chronic fatigue, increasing your metabolism and improving your cardiovascular health.

It still sounded like bullshit, but the only way I could tell for certain was to put it to the test. I'd quit drinking that particular week, and – as I'd learned online – this treatment could apparently help to mitigate my booze cravings, so the timing was perfect: I booked an appointment for the following day.

Zen Healthcare, just around the corner from Harrods, specialises in the kind of things you might expect a Knightsbridge clinic to specialise in: "bespoke weight loss therapies", travel vaccinations for far-flung locations, botox, "vampire facials" and, of course, Brain Reboot Infusions – which will set you back £500 (full disclosure: I got mine for free).

I arrived a little early, but a Dr Yassine was there to meet me and explain some of the side effects I might experience while receiving the treatment.

"You will feel your chest tighten and may get a headache," he said. "But this will pass."

I signed some waivers and was escorted to a room where Yassine took my blood pressure. Which, you'll be happy to hear, was normal.

"Are you OK with needles?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine."

Yassine inserted the drip and, a moment later, the "Brain Reboot Cocktail" was flowing through my veins. As he'd warned, I began to feel my chest tighten. Thirty minutes in, I started to wonder what I was doing – my head was aching, the discomfort was becoming kind of alarming and I was suddenly acutely aware that a foreign substance had by now probably completely flooded my bloodstream. I toyed with the idea of hitting the buzzer Yassine had provided me with should I want to end the treatment, but I decided to stay the course.

Fifty minutes in I felt a calm sense of positivity envelope my body. Yassine came in and said I had 10 minutes left, which flew by. Removing the IV, he asked me how I felt.

"Kinda dreamy," I said.

"A lot of people say similar. Be careful on your way home."

I thanked Yassine more than I needed to. It was time for me to go.

I walked outside and it hit me: I felt a surge of energy, but no jitters or edginess. My mood had noticeably improved. I felt poised, positive and pumped-up. I remember thinking, 'This is awesome,' and then saying exactly that out loud. I hopped on the tube, which was as crowded as ever, but for once all the back sweat and the fact it was nearly getting in my mouth didn't bum me out at all.

WATCH: "Inside the UK's Ecstasy Underworld", the first episode of our new series about drugs in the UK, 'High Society'

I woke up the next day at 7AM and didn't feel horrendous, which is unusual for me. In fact, I felt great. The dreamy feeling had gone, but there was a definite improvement in energy levels, focus and mindset. This continued throughout the rest of the day, and then for the following eight or so days. But what of its supposed effects on my otherwise unwavering love for beer?

"It's been known for decades that a high dose of vitamin B3 – the 'poor man's' way of elevating NAD levels – has a beneficial effect for alcoholics, both in terms of detoxification and, perhaps more importantly, in reducing craving and anxiety levels after detoxification," said Dr Mark Collins in an email.

And it seems the theory still holds: in all the time I could feel the treatment's effects, I didn't crave the cold embrace of a freshly poured pint even once.

That said, my cravings were just that: cravings. It's not like I was in the midst of a full-blown Stella dependence; I just like alcohol. So to find out how useful NAD+ therapy really is when it comes to drug or alcohol addictions, I asked Dr Yassine to take me through the theory of how exactly a Brain Reboot Infusion can help someone suffering from withdrawal.

"NAD+ has a significant role in reducing the withdrawal effects by restoring the neurotransmitter balance, which shifts significantly after the drug that's been withdrawn has been removed," he explained. "As a result, the patient experiences almost no withdrawal symptoms whilst and after completing the infusion cycle."

Of course, Dr Yassine works at a clinic that offers this procedure, so it would make sense for him to talk up NAD+. Still, Dr Collins – who specialises in addictions and has no real reason to sing the treatment's praises – is also complimentary, if a little cautiously. "I have now witnessed its use in many patients and am very impressed with the short-term results," he said in his email, adding that "what is clearly needed is more research, and in particular longer-term outcome studies".

Dr Yassine put me in touch with some patients, on the condition of anonymity, to hear how the treatment has worked out for them.

"I've been taking codeine for the last few months," said Jeff*. "It started with a back pain, and I never realised I was going to be hooked up. Then I tried to stop and it was hell. But having tried NAD+ infusions, stopping codeine has been easier; I didn't feel all the debilitating symptoms I'd experienced earlier."

Ian*, who had been using crack and heroin, had a similar experience.

"I'd be lying if I said the thoughts aren't in my mind, and in my mind often, but that deep 'urge' that addicts will know about isn't there any more," he said. "I also see a therapist to talk through and figure out why I'm driven to such behaviours, but as of right now I feel a sense of self control that I've not felt in a long time. I still have more treatments to go and I feel I'll always need therapy, but thank god I decided to tell some strangers my deepest problems. Things could have been very different."

Ian's point is important: NAD+ therapy – while seemingly useful, according to everyone I spoke to – is not a panacea. While it may well dull cravings in some patients, it might not for others – and clearly it can't be relied upon exclusively without additional therapy and other forms of treatment.

For me, the treatment did exactly what it said it would, and there are promising signs that it helps with drug and alcohol withdrawal. But as for NAD+'s supposed anti-ageing properties, or its ability to improve your metabolism and cardiovascular health, it's very early days. As Dr Collins pointed out, much more research needs to be done before anything can be said for sure.

@jonnybdeviant

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A RealDoll model, not one currently equipped with AI (Photo: Stacy Leigh / copyright RealDoll)

RealDoll, as the name suggests, make incredibly life-like sex dolls. You might have seen the documentary on the BBC about the four men who treat their RealDolls like girlfriends, or Lars and the Real Girl, the Ryan Gosling movie where the co-lead is a RealDoll called Bianca. Or you might have just seen them on the internet, for it is a vast and thorough thing. You also might have seen, on the internet, that RealDoll founder Matt McMullen is working on integrating robots and artificial intelligence into the dolls.

While most AI personal assistants we chat to today – Siri, Microsoft's Cortana, Amazon's Echo – hire writers to ensure their responses are charming but always professional, Matt's trying to exploit the developments in speech recognition to create an AI whose main aim is to get you mentally and physically excited. A doll that can think for itself and will learn more about you as your relationship develops, while also satisfying your sexual urges.

David Levy, an international chess don and AI expert, said in his book Love & Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships that, by 2050, "robots will have the capacity to fall in love with humans and to make themselves romantically attractive and sexually desirable". So is Matt's work the first step in swapping our relationships with real people for fake ones?

I spoke with him to ask that very question, and to find out how the project is coming along.

A RealDoll model, not one currently equipped with AI(Photo: Copyright RealDoll)

VICE: How would you describe what you're doing with AI at Real Dolls?
Matt McMullen: I met some people in robotics and started asking, "How can we connect AI to robotic dolls?" That's at the core of what we're doing: integrating artificial intelligence into RealDolls. We're spending time and effort perfecting the AI as much as possible so that interactions with the dolls are entertaining and believable. We're not trying to fool you into thinking, 'Is this a real person?' We're trying to make the experience something you'll enjoy.

So the move into sex robots was your consumers' idea?
Well, when I started the dolls back in 1997 they weren't the same dolls you see today. They were pieces of art, very high end mannequins, if you will. And the public wanted to buy these dolls as companions and sex toys, so I just went with it. So yes, it's kind of the same thing with AI.

What developments in other AIs are you taking inspiration from?
We're trying to build on top of the basic personal assistant AI architecture you see elsewhere to create something similar to The Sims, where the AI has a needs system and the experience is game-ified. So the AI has desire – or at least the illusion of desire – and there are goals, and if you meet them you're going to get some kind of reward, be that verbal, visual or in sexual movements.

People are only designing AIs to be support systems – they're not trying to make them entertaining or a lover, like we are. So we're asking: what can we do from a programming standpoint to mimic what happens between two people when they have a relationship? It's far more than sexual entertainment. People really zero in on, "Oh, you're making a sex robot." I'd say we're making a robot that can have sex. Although it's a very different, very intimate way that you can connect with something that is robotic and has AI technology built in.

So what are you putting into your AI to mimic human relationships?
For me, it's the random factor; it's nice to have some random things occur in a conversation. Sometimes it works and sometimes it's a catastrophic failure because she'll say something that completely doesn't fit or make any sense. But other times it's like, "This is the perfect statement at the perfect moment." And you go wow.

Is your ultimate goal to make a human fall in love with a machine?
I don't know about falling in love, but I would love for people to be able to create a bond. Call it a friendship, a companion, whatever you want – but a bond that you wouldn't see in any other machine-human relationship.

Do you think we'll begin to trust machines to be our friends?
Yes, emotionally.

Are you concerned with the ethics of that? Do you think it's going to make humans less social?
I feel strongly that not every person on the planet is going to create bonds with the robots and AIs. I think it's a specific type of person who finds it appealing for one reason or another. Whether it's by choice, they're in a head-space where the idea of "I want to bond with a robot, and I prefer the company of this robot or AI to a human being" is compelling to them. So I don't know that, all of a sudden, it's going to be this thing where everyone disconnects with each other and goes with robots.

So you think it's a niche market?
Well, I think the sexual component may be a bigger market. Too many people talk about it and ask me about it for that not to be the case. I think a lot of people will limit their interaction with the technology to that level. I think the actual emotional connection – really creating the pseudo-relationship with an AI – won't be something that everyone will engage with. Although, for both, I think it takes a certain type.

How would you describe that person?
Some are very lonely and for one reason or another do not have the desire or ability to make real bonds with someone else. Some are victims of circumstance; either something happened to them or someone broke their heart, or they might have lost a loved one to a disease. They don't want, necessarily, to start new relationships. It gives them some level of: "Oh, I have someone at home..."

But if I was to summarise the people who buy the dolls, I would just say they're very nice. They're very down to earth, super sweet people. There's nothing strange or off-putting about them, and they come from all different age and social-economic groups. People think, 'Oh, they're with these dolls and that's really strange,' but really, in the grand scheme of things, there are far stranger things out there in the world that we don't pick apart as much. This is something that makes them happy in the privacy of their own home, so why is it your job to critique what they're doing or judge them as being strange?

Do you want a world where humans are walking the streets, chatting with their AI dolls?
Sure. Absolutely. Yes!

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How do you feel about feminist concerns? A lot of your dolls have unrealistic-sized eyes, breasts and waists. Do you think your creations are perpetuating unrealistic body images?
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it. I've always said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all I've ever done artistically is imitate the female form in all its sizes and shapes. There are obviously limitations to how large we can make bodies before they become too heavy to move. I don't think it's going to create any more of an impact in the feminist sense than, say, Barbie dolls. I'll make a doll in any size or shape if someone will buy it.

Okay, tell me a little about the work you're doing with VR.
The AI that we've created can be interacted with in three ways: one is on a tablet with the avatar that we've created, the second is to connect the AI to the robot and the third is in a virtual reality environment. So we're creating a separate platform that runs on a semi-powerful computer and a headset – an Oculus Rift, for example – where you can immerse yourself in fantastic environments. You could be on the surface of the moon or walking on the rings of Saturn with the avatar that runs on your AI. Everyone's version of the AI will be different because, as you interact with it, over time it will grow and learn specific things about you. So it's pretty exciting, trying to learn and come up with all these ways that people could interact with them. First on the agenda is getting the app – the AI itself – out there.

Will the app have sexual functions as well?
Yes, it will have some adult aspects. It'll have some nudity, you'll be able to pick and change the clothes on the avatar, change her body size and really customise it to your liking.

Have you thought about how your developments might affect the prostitution industry?
That hasn't been a motivation of mine, but I think if they evolved to be so good that people no longer had to engage in human trafficking, that can only be a positive thing. Someone could buy a bunch of them and the robots could be the prostitutes instead of people.

So you could pimp robots?
Yeah. This hasn't been one of my main motivations by any stretch, but the question has been asked.

Thanks, Matt.

@georgia_la

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Some names have been changed to protect identities.

The independent slavery commissioner Kevin Hyland recently published a report that put the number of current victims of modern slavery in the UK at approximately 13,000. In the years I have taught in prisons, I've been in frequent contact with men serving time for murder, domestic abuse, armed robbery, and on more than one occasion, "nicking from Greggs". I wasn't aware of having ever come across a 'slave master', however. The first time I met Stan, a middle-aged man of traveller heritage, I was helping out in the specialist unit for prisoners with either very limited or zero literacy. He was a keen and quick learner, but I soon came to suspect he was a better reader than he was letting on, probably using the class as a hustle to demonstrate his model citizen status. On our third day together, he told me he was being falsely charged with animal cruelty. The next day he changed tack and began talking about a quarrel with a vindictive local farmer. I didn't buy either story.

Several weeks later I found out that Stan had been sentenced to serve time for charges of modern slavery. I was shocked; it simply hadn't crossed my mind that it was a possibility. Having read Kevin Hyland's report, and baffled by the notion of modern slavery existing in the UK, I decided to track Stan down on his wing and see if he fancied a chat.

Standing outside his cell during association time, Stan offers me a biscuit and a cuppa. Against prison rules to accept any offer of gifts from a prisoner, I politely decline. I figure it's pointless beating around the bush and ask him to tell me what all those men were doing living in outhouses on his property. "We took starving people off the streets and gave them food and a roof over their heads," Stan says. "I'll tell ya about one fella, Jonesy, he was nine stone when he came to us, thin as a board. A month later he comes up to the house and tells me he hasn't felt so good in years. He's not Hulk Hogan, truth be told, but he's not far off. He thanks me, tears in his eyes and that. Starts talking about how he wishes his family had been as kind to him as we had been. The bastards threw him out because he was sniffing. That's not our values, we look after people."

Yes, but that isn't how the police or the court saw it, I say. "Ask him if he thought we were mistreating him, holding him against his will. He was with us for six months before the pigs got involved," Stan says. "I'm scared to imagine where he is now, homeless, cold, dirty. That's no way to live; there's no dignity in that life."

There's no avoiding the fact that Stan is a charismatic man. I have Romany blood in my family, and recognise the oral storytelling tradition that comes easily to him. But having read up on the pretty bleak details of his case (men sleeping in rat-infested, uninsulated barns, no access to phones or electricity, continual non-payment of wages due to supposed 'board and keep' costs), I need to press him for proper answers. I ask about one particular individual, a man in his late 30s, who was said by the prosecution to have severe learning difficulties and who stated that he was never paid any money and regularly went over 24 hours without a meal.

"Bollocks. That was all his parents. Trying to make out he was slow in the head, didn't know what he was doing. He worked every day, grafted. Not everyone can be a rocket scientist... or a teacher," Stan says, grinning. "He did a day's work and he got a roof over his head. Life isn't as complicated as people make it out to be. There's a way to live simple and happy."

But what about the claims, echoed by other witnesses, that meals weren't provided and many men suffered from malnutrition and related illnesses?

"If they wanted to go out and have scran at the pub, fair play to them. We weren't going to stop these lads having their social, not like in here. But my mrs wasn't going to stand around cooking them a tea either if it wasn't going to get eaten. Listen, this here is slavery, we're the slaves to these bastards. How they can call me a slave-owner when you see what it's like in here is a scandal."

Stan may have a point about prison conditions, but it's a blatant attempt to derail the discussion. It's difficult to call Stan out on specific points and apparent inconsistencies; under pressure he'll filibuster his way out of difficult questions without breaking rhythm once. To make matters more difficult, a group of Stan's mates from the wing have gathered around us. One of the lads is Stan's son, Robbie. It's Robbie's first time in prison, serving a few weeks for criminal damage, and he is understandably keen to speak up for his dad. Stan looks at Robbie and nods.

"All them boys on our yard could have left, but they didn't. You don't stay somewhere unless you like it," Robbie says. I ask Robbie how people went to the pub, several miles away, as Stan suggested they sometimes did for a curry and pint. "Their business. Walk I expect." Had anyone asked to leave, though, would he have given them a lift into town so they could get a bus home? "No one ever asked," Robbie replies, suddenly serious and unsmiling. Right.

Stan laughs and puts his arm around Robbie and brings him in close for a hug. "This fella knows the score," he says, grinning. Stan loves the attention he's getting, but can see I'm losing my patience at this point. He explains to Robbie how he's learned to read since being in prison, massively exaggerating my involvement. He looks to me and winks, then thanks me for listening to his side of the story. I ask Stan if he considers anything about the arrangement on his land as having been immoral or ethically questionable. "I told the men straight, they knew what to expect and were happy to go along with it." But this simply isn't true, I say. "Never believe what you read," Stan replies. "All lies, written by bullshitters with as much to hide as the next fella," he says as he turns and walks back into his cell, shutting the door behind him.

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Mark 'Billy' Billingham. Photo courtesy of Channel 4.

Who do you think are the hardest bastards in the world? There are, let's face it, a lot of contenders: MMA fighters, bare knuckle boxers, rugby players, American Navy Seals and Russian Spetsnaz. All good options, yes. But without a doubt, the hardest bastards in all the world are the UK's very own Special Air Service, or SAS. So it's little wonder so many of them go into guarding the rich and famous when they're doing serving their country.

Mark "Billy" Billingham spent 27 years in the SAS. He fought in Iraq and won the Queen's Commendation for Bravery after capturing an IRA sniper by using himself as bait. He's also an MBE and is currently on the Channel 4 survival show SAS: Who Dares Wins. But before taking part in that he was bodyguard to Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kate Moss, Russell Crowe and Clint Eastwood.

I caught up with him to find out what it's like to be the hardest bastard in the world, how he got into looking after famous people and whether he'd rather fight in a war or take care of Kate Moss.

Sean Penn. He's a lovely bloke, really nice guy but I tell you what, he can look after himself.

VICE: Hi Billy. How did you get into guarding very famous people?
Mark "Billy" Billingham: It was a natural progression. Before I'd even left the regiment I got invited to help out with a few A-list celebrities, the first one being Tom Cruise. A friend of mine had recommended me, and it really just started from there.

Why do so many ex-SAS guys end up getting involved with A-listers?
It's really through word of mouth. Celebrities want the best protection, and the SAS is that. They've had ex-SAS bodyguards before, so they naturally want to carry on with that level of service.

How hard is it to get into the SAS?
Well, let me put it this way: there were 280 people who applied, and seven got in. It's the most arduous physical and mental testing you could ever imagine. You have to be a physically robust person, but the most important thing is your mind – it's about how you think, how you look at things, how you interpret things, your integrity.

What makes people like you such good bodyguards?
Being a bodyguard is about forward planning. It's not about beefcakes with a six pack. It's about knowing how to escape, about contingency plans, about how to read a situation. We're all about keeping calm in high pressure situations and avoiding conflict. We keep our heads when everyone else is losing theirs.

Are there any celebrities who have been so bad that you wished you were back in a war zone instead of having to deal with them?
They've all been really nice, to be honest.

What about Kate Moss? How was she?
She was Kate Moss; she was different. She was professional, she was good at what she did. I didn't get to know her as well because there was a lot going on at the time. It was a busy time with the paparazzi – there were photographers following us around all the time. But she respected me and always did what I asked, so we had a good working relationship.

Who's been the nicest person you've taken care of?
I've spent the most time with Brad and Angelina, so I'd probably be biased towards them.

What are they like as people?
Very professional, very motivated, with an incredible amount of energy – even more than I've got. They were so good at planning their lives, always managing to find time for their children and charities. To be honest, the amount of pressure they're under – to always look good, to be good when everyone is always looking for the bad side of the story because it sells better – the way they dealt with that was incredible.

What did you think of their breakup?
I'm not saying anything about that. They were my clients and I always respect their privacy.

Do you pick which celebrities you look after? Or is it like you're the hardest bastard so you look after the most famous people?
No, no, it's got to be the right person for the right celebrity. For me, with Brad and Angelina, they trusted me with their children and their inner most secrets – right down to their clothes sizes. So if you want to have someone to work with, you've got to be the right fit.

What's the worst moment you've had with a celebrity? I guess most of it is quite trivial, but was there ever a time when you were genuinely worried?
Absolutely. As you say, most of the time you are more worried about what will happen if there's a coffee spill on a dress. But I do remember one time with Brad and Angelina at a film festival in Toronto – I was on my own in the car with them and the driver got into a frenzy because of the crowd. It was chaos – people were trying to pull the doors open, blocking the road. They were trying to rip me out of the car. Brad and Angelina were looking to me for answers. The answer was to get the vehicle out of there, get out of town and cancel the party they were supposed to be giving. We were lucky we didn't run anyone over.

Do you have to overrule people when things are getting out of hand?
My contract is to look after the client at all costs. If I advise them that a situation is unsafe then they usually respect that. I mean, they can overrule me if they want, but I've always been lucky that my clients listen to what I tell them to do.

Lastly, who is the hardest celebrity you've ever taken care of?
Sean Penn. He's a lovely bloke – really nice guy – but I tell you what, he can look after himself.

Thanks, Billy.

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Hillary Clinton speaking at a campaign rally in Phoenix, Arizona. Photo by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons

US News

Clinton Targets Red States as Lead in Polls Grows
Hillary Clinton leads Donald Trump 47 percent to 38 percent in a four-way race among likely voters, according to the latest CBS poll. Two weeks ago, Clinton's lead was four points in the same poll. A confident Clinton campaign is moving resources into red states like Arizona, where an additional $2 million has been allocated for ads.—CBS News/AP

Trump Accuses Ryan of Wanting His Campaign to Fail
Donald Trump has been beefing with Paul Ryan on and off for a while now, and said Monday night the House speaker may not want him to win the presidential election. "Well, maybe not, because maybe he wants to run in four years or maybe he doesn't know how to win," Trump said. The GOP nominee's supporters chanted "Paul Ryan sucks" before Trump arrived at a campaign event in Wisconsin.—ABC News

Houston Man Pleads Guilty to Trying to Help ISIS
A 24-year-old Iraqi refugee accused of plotting bomb attacks at two malls in Houston, Texas, has pleaded guilty to trying to help ISIS. Omar Faraj Saeed Al Hardan, who moved to the US in 2009, said in his plea deal that he pledged loyalty to ISIS in late 2014 and quickly took to learning how to use tactical weapons to carry out an attack.—CBS News

One Killed, Four Wounded in Chicago Shooting
A total of five people were shot, one of them fatally, on Chicago's South Side Monday night. One of the wounded was a 13-year-old boy, who suffered critical injuries. The five victims were posted up outside in the West Englewood neighborhood at about 8:50 PM when multiple shooters unloaded as many as 40 rounds, cops and neighbors said.—Chicago Tribune

International News

Iraqi Forces Make Progress in Mosul Offensive
Iraqi government and Kurdish forces are plowing ahead in their effort to retake the key city of Mosul from ISIS. Some 20 villages were seized from militants surrounding the city, and the Kurdish Peshmerga said it had secured "a significant stretch" of the 50-mile road between Erbil, their capital, and Mosul.—Reuters

Judge Who Handled Cartel Cases Murdered in Mexico
A federal judge who played a key role in cartel cases has apparently been assasssinated near Mexico City. Vicente Antonio Bermudez Zacarias, 37, was reportedly shot in the head while exercising outside his home in Metepec.—Al Jazeera

Hospital Fire Kills at Least 20 in India
Some 20 people are dead after a fire broke out at a hospital in the Indian city of Bhubaneswar in Odisha State. State health secretary Arati Ahuja said the blaze, suspected to have been caused by an electrical short circuit, had left more than 100 people injured. "The tragedy is mind-numbing," tweeted PM Narendra Modi.—BBC News

British Bank Shuts Down Russian Broadcaster Accounts
British bank NatWest is closing the accounts of Russian Today, a state-run broadcaster, inside the UK. Russian MPs and the foreign ministry condemned the move, accusing the British government of violating press freedom. The UK Treasury said it had nothing to do the closure of the accounts.—The Guardian/CNBC

Everything Else

Billy Bush Leaves NBC After Trump Tape
Billy Bush is out at NBC's Today show, "effective immediately," in the wake of the leaked 2005 tape in which Donald Trump talked about groping women. The move was not unexpected, though during her CNN interview with Anderson Cooper Monday, Melania Trump said Bush "egged on" her husband to make the comments, which she described as mere "boy talk."—CNN

WikiLeaks Says Ecuador Cut Assange's Internet Access
Controversial antisecrecy outfit WikiLeaks has confirmed the Ecuadorean government cut figurehead Julian Assange's internet access at his residence in the country's London embassy. WikiLeaks has "activated appropriate contingency plans" after service was cut at 5 PM local time on Saturday.—TIME

Target Pulls Clown Masks
The retail giant has decided to pull some creepy clown masks from its stores and website due to the "current environment"—which is to say a weird nationwide spike in reports of threats and pranks involving people dressed as clowns.—USA Today

Netflix Subscriber Numbers Soar
Netflix added 3.2 million international customers in the last three months, far more than the 2 million the company had predicted. In the US, subscriber numbers rose almost 400,000, helping Netflix's stock trade up about 20 percent Monday.—VICE News

Silicon Valley Is Cutting Ties with Peter Thiel
Diversity initiative Project Include has cut ties with startup incubator Y Combinator, citing its employment of Donald Trump's financial backer, Peter Thiel, as an investor. Co-founder Ellen Pao said Thiel had made "a direct contribution to creating hate."—Motherboard

Dylan Is Still Ghosting the Nobel Prize Committee
Bob Dylan has yet to let the Nobel Prize committee know if he'll be attending the awards ceremony and dinner in December. "If he doesn't want to come, he won't come," said committee secretary Sara Darius.—Noisey

Sean Penn as Surf God Jeff Spicoli in 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High.' Photo via Universal Pictures.

On the very first episode of VICELAND's newest late night series, Desus & Mero, hosts Desus Nice and the Kid Mero talked about how America is making a total mess out of what was once sacred to our 12-year-old selves: dinosaurs, Eminem, and clowns.

Sure, when some of us think of clowns we imagine joyous birthdays, grown men driving tiny cars, and maybe the nightmare-inducing Pennywise. But others—well, they're interested in a certain type of pie that you (hopefully) won't see at a clown-themed children's party.

Speaking of clowns, earlier on the show, Desus and Mero discussed Trump and his terrifying—yet not so bright—die-hard supporters. Check out their hilarious take on news about the Republican nominee below.

You can watch the first episode of Desus & Mero for free online now and be sure to catch new episodes weeknights at 11 PM ET/PT on VICELAND.

Photo courtesy of HBO

Game of Thrones, HBO's massively popular fantasy series, is catching flak again. Despite the addition of supporting cast members over the past few seasons, actor David Oyelowo recently criticized the show's lack of diverse main characters, saying there was "no excuse" for it. "Even if for whatever reason," he continued, "it's a world in which people of color in those stories are subservient, or they are more in a helper role, that doesn't mean they can't have prominent storylines."

I agree with Oyelowo, and as a medievalist, I'd go further in saying that, by not including people of color in major roles, author George R.R. Martin is creating a whiter medieval world than our own ever was.

Though medieval ideas about race differ from modern definitions, medieval European history and literature are full of what we would today call people of color. Sometimes they play supporting roles, but other times, they're the main characters. In medieval European religious literature and belief, both St. Maurice and Balthazar were depicted as black Africans. Maurice was eventually named the patron saint of the Holy Roman Empire; medieval churches and cathedrals across Germany, Switzerland, and France were dedicated to him, and wealthy lords lavished funds on paintings of Balthazar in scenes of the Adoration of the Magi.

Historically speaking, there's just no way around it—medieval Europe was a multiracial, multiethnic place.

Retaining a popularity that extends to the present day, Arthurian literature celebrates the great deeds of black knights and Berber or Arabic knights along as their white brothers in arms. Though his adventures vary in different traditions, the "Saracen" (Muslim) knight Sir Palomides is an important character who is renowned for his chivalry and converts to Christianity only late in life.

Historically speaking, medieval Europe was a multiracial, multiethnic place; in our world, the Dornish didn't stay in Dorne, nor the Dothraki in their desert. In the 700s, a Berber army crossed the Straits of Gibraltar and took over almost all of what we would today call Spain. While the borders of al-Andalus, or Muslim Spain, shrank over the centuries, the Emirate of Granada was not toppled until 1492. For nearly 800 years, Spain was profoundly multiracial and connected to places like Syria, Egypt, Libya, and Morocco. Even the Christian kingdoms of Castile and Aragon were multiracial—and they continued as such while Portugal conquered territory in north and west Africa.

But Spain wasn't the only hotspot of cultural exchange in medieval Europe: Italy was more diverse than most would imagine, too. The Emirate of Sicily lasted only a few hundred years, but with Italian, Greek, Arab, and Berber cultural, ethnic, and racial heritage, one would be hard-pressed to find a more multicultural place than medieval Sicily. Other parts of Italy were plenty diverse, too: Venetians worked as far afield as the eastern coast of the Black Sea and Damascus, injecting a taste for Far Eastern culture into Italian crafts. In one Italian silk woven in the 1300s, an Annunciation scene features the angel Gabriel, Mary, and the dove—in the form of a Chinese phoenix.

Considering all this, it's not surprising that Alessandro de Medici, who for a time was the Duke of Florence and the head of the great Medici family, may have been mixed race. (We don't know for sure if his mother was black, Berber, Arab, or none of these, but we can now see why people in his era thought it was possible that he had north African heritage, since other Italians did.)

Whether they wanted to or not, people just didn't stay put in the Middle Ages any more than they do today, which partially highlights how common slavery was in parts of medieval Europe—not just limited to certain places, as it is in Meereen and the other Ghiscari cities in Game of Thrones. In fact, slavery meant different things in different medieval cultures, although it always meant being unfree. A slave might have been a prisoner of war, or sold himself or herself to pay off a debt. In the Mamluk Sultanate, the ruling class, the Mamluks themselves were freed slaves. Any race of person could become enslaved: In the early Middle Ages, Vikings raided almost the entire Spanish coast, as well as much of the North African coastline; however, they also traded as far south and east as Baghdad. In the 800s, Vikings took black slaves in North African cities before selling them in northern Europe, and Vikings sold northern European slaves in the Middle East, too. In the 1200s, an Englishman was looking for his missing Ethiopian slave; by the later Middle Ages, both wealthy Italians and Turks were buying slaves from the Caucasus.

Our 21st-century world is more multicultural than the European Middle Ages, in part due to the expansion of European peoples into the Americas and Asia that began toward the end of the Middle Ages. People of many modern races search carefully for traces of our heritages in that earlier world.

Yet Martin has gone on record claiming that the series's historicized setting does not allow for main characters of color and stating firmly that the books are the books and the show is the show. Will showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss find a medievalist to consult this season? They could also just listen to Oyelowo, who says that limiting characters of color to supporting roles "highlight the inequality of storylines." Because we all deserve a chance to see ourselves center stage.

Follow Kathleen E. Kennedy on Twitter.

I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across a photo of my first boyfriend with a new partner. I was transfixed. It's a peculiar feeling when an old love finds new love. Initially, I felt forgotten. He was my first boyfriend, and I'd been entirely besotted. Yet, here he was, in a new relationship. I had visions of her sitting in the back of his station wagon, watching him surf like I used to. It infuriated me but deep down I felt happy for him. He deserves good things.

It's an entirely different feeling when an ex who abused you finds love again. I remember how different that moment was to seeing my first ex on Instagram. It was like a slap in the face, only the slap hurts even more than the ones you knew before.

When someone hurt you so much, over such a long time, you don't even consider their next love. It's easier to assume that they are incapable of it. Seeing them being kind to another woman feels ugly, wrong. No longer is he the lonely, guilty man you thought he was. He is someone else's now.

And here I am wondering if I owe her anything—as her predecessor of sorts. I turned the idea of reaching out to her over in my mind, but I couldn't bring myself do it. If she ever asked me, I know what I would say: I would tell her to run. But maybe he's no longer the abuser I thought he was. Perhaps he will be kinder to her. Perhaps she is just less volatile.

And even then—where does that leave me? Where's my apology? An explanation, even, for why he controlled and humiliated me for so long. For making me believe I was the "dumb cunt" he said I was.

Scouring the internet for advice, I came up with nothing. Amidst the endless forums addressing "How to love again after..." or "how to start feeling like yourself again" there were absolutely zero resources on how to deal with this situation.

All I wanted to know is what responsibility I have to her, if any. But it's as if the internet raised its hands, and sighed that we are meant to believe that our abusers just disappear: like a poof of angry smoke. Once we get on that plane or burn those photographs, they no longer exist.

So here I am scrolling through her Instagram. "Husband, now," one girl comments on a photo of the two of them. I feel sick.

All illustrations by the author

Of the myriad of resources for those who've experienced abuse, most describe survivors, unintentionally, as blank canvases. But the "today is a new day" bullshit only remains motivating for so long. I'm not looking for ways to be "okay" anymore. The truth is, I am okay. I was okay yesterday, and I'll be okay tomorrow. Where the resources fail us is that they want us to forget, blissfully, that our ex-partners still exist.

Abusive exes go out for breakfast, update their statuses, and have permission to fall in love again. If you live in the same city, you're probably going to bump into them. But there's no Yahoo Answers describing the dark, sad feeling in your chest when you do. There's no website dedicated to assisting us in our pursuit to encourage other women to leave long before we had the chance to.

I ran into my first boyfriend at a sweaty pub once. "Madison," he called amid the loud guffaw. His girlfriend was nearby, sipping something, talking to her friends. I thought they looked damn good together. It was, honestly, nice to see them.

There will never be a time when it's "nice" to see my abusive-ex and his new girlfriend, even if it's in a photo. And it's not because I wish it was me with him grinning, full tourist, outside some Buddhist temple. It's because when I think of my first boyfriend I remember two people doting on one another with respect—regardless of the relationship reaching its inevitable expiration date. He's fully capable of loving in ways others deserve to be loved—even if it means having to witness their sun-bleached life together online. But when I think of the life my abusive-ex and his new girlfriend will have together, I just see hurt.

It may be unrealistic, but I hope the abuse stopped with me. That I was the first and last to bear his wrath. That in our time together, I collected all of his anger in my hands, and there's simply nothing left to douse her with. I hope, for her sake, that I did.

See more of Madison's illustrations on Instagram

Photo by Henry Langston

From Donald Trump, Hungary's xenophobic prime minister Viktor Orbán, post-coup Turkey, and Africa's "third-term problem" of leaders clinging to power, the past few months haven't exactly looked good for democracy. For some, it's just a temporary blip, but according to Brian Klass, author of a new book, The Despot's Accomplice, it all fits into a pattern.

"After the Soviet Union fell, democracy expanded at an unprecedented rate," he says in the book's introduction. "Today, global democracy has receded slightly every year since 2006; in other words, there has been no democratic forward progress for the last decade."

In his book, Klass argues that as authoritarians roll back democracy or refuse to embrace change, the West is acting as a willing accomplice. "Western governments in London, Paris, Brussels, and most of all Washington, have directly and indirectly aided and abetted the decline of democracy around the globe," he says.

During the Cold War, that meant toppling democratically elected governments—such as the US-sponsored assassinations of Congolese independence leader Patrice Lumumba and democratically Chilean president Alvador Allende. Today it means cozying up to regimes like Saudi Arabia and authoritarian leaders like Rwanda's Paul Kagame and Egyptian president Abdel Fatah al Sisi.

What can be done to stop this? And how can the West promote democracy without dropping bombs? I called Klass for a chat.

VICE: The central theme of your book is that democracy is in decline around the world. Why do you think this is happening?
Brian Klaas: There are a couple of things that we can claim as the smoking gun. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were falsely packaged as efforts to democratize countries and ended up giving authoritarian regimes political cover to claim that any democracy promotion activity the West undertakes is secretly about regime change.

The other aspect is that Western governments don't really have the stomach for democracy promotion any longer. Diplomats look at the Arab Spring or the democratization effort in Ukraine, see the destabilization and conflict that has resulted, and they start to feel that the dictatorial devil they know is better than the democratic devil they don't.

I talk to people in Thailand and they say if Donald Trump is democracy, we don't want democracy

You say the West often supports dictatorships to further its own self-interest. Can you give some examples of this happening?
There are two that I highlight in the book. One is the Saudi Arabia effect—the idea that Western governments face difficult decisions in trying to simultaneously chase economic and security objectives and democracy. As a result, they end up cozying up to regimes like Saudi Arabia and achieving none of the above. Saudi Arabia's government is brutal and ruthless, and at some point, the regime is not going to survive. The question is: Do we want to be the force that propped it up? Because we saw what happened when we did that in Iran—a lot of Iranians still blame the US for toppling a democratically elected leader in the 1950s. The more the West is on the wrong side of despotism, the more it hurts us in the long-term.

The second aspect is what I call the curse of low expectations. From my field research, I've consistently found that many regimes package themselves as democracies when they are nothing of the sort. Paul Kagame, the president of Rwanda, is one of the best at doing this. He is governing in ways that are despotic and authoritarian, but he's extremely good at packaging himself as a darling of the West.

You mention Pakistan after 9/11 as an example of the West sometimes being forced to work with a despot. Can you expand on that?
Sometimes governments face difficult choices, and I think the US navigating the situation with Pakistan after 9/11 is a good example of that. When Pervez Musharraf came to power in a coup in 1999, the US was critical. But as soon as we needed Pakistan to hunt down terrorists that had committed 9/11, politicians were obligated by voter opinion to disregard democracy in Pakistan to pursue something that everyone wanted—to capture and kill those who carried out 9/11. The paradox of democracy is that sometimes voters' preferences in the West are for the pursuit of an objective that runs counter to democracy elsewhere.

You say Western democracy is a model to aspire toward, but many believe that globalization, privatization, and the blurring of corporations and the state has led to a situation that could be described as "post-democratic." Why aspire to that?
I'm the first to say that the West is extremely problematic when it comes to how democracies operate. The question is what other model do we have to aspire to? Of course, Western democracies are in crisis and trying to mimic them in every way is a mistake, but I think there are many ways to revitalize Western democracy—by tackling inequality and by providing real solutions rather than divisive rhetoric to those that have been left behind by globalization.

With the rise of Trump in the US, Brexit in the UK, and authoritarian populism elsewhere, is it not becoming increasingly difficult for the West to promote liberal democracy as something to legitimately aspire toward?
I think the example the West is setting at the moment is emboldening leaders around the world to be more despotic. I talk to people in Thailand and they say, "If Donald Trump is democracy, we don't want democracy." The more that our democracies struggle and produce essentially bad outcomes the more rival models like China and Russia start to seem appealing and provide despots with cover... You can't lecture others until you have fixed your own problems.

At the same time, while people say Donald Trump shows democracy is a bad system, you have to ask: Would you rather have a President Trump that came to power in a coup or a President Trump that came to power in an election? The answer is an election because at least there you have recourse. If the US makes a huge mistake and elects Donald Trump, there is a way to block him in a lot of domestic-policy decisions through the democratic process, and there is a way to fire him. None of those things exist in non-democratic systems.

The Despot's Accomplice: How the West is Aiding and Abetting the Decline of Democracy is out now, published by Hurst Publishers.

Peter James Kiernan at an event with Donald Trump. Photo courtesy of Peter James Kiernan

Amid the more recent Donald Trump scandals—the sexual assault allegations, his repeated accusations that the election is "rigged"—casual election watchers may have forgotten that with only a few weeks before Election Day, the Republican candidate has still refused to release his tax returns. These returns would likely be complicated and long, but they would answer questions about Trump's charitable giving and how much he pays in taxes.

There has been a chorus of voices across the political spectrum calling for Trump to release his tax information, but none have been so compelling as Peter James Kiernan, a 27-year-old veteran who served in Afghanistan and was the youngest-ever member of the elite Marine Raider Regiment. Last month, Kiernan started a crowdfunding campaign to raise money to be donated to veterans groups if Trump makes his returns public. It's since brought in more than $6 million—including $5 million from LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffman that will kick in if Trump releases the info before Wednesday's debate.

With that deadline fast approaching, I spoke to Kiernan about his career in the Marines, what inspired his campaign, and what his fellow veterans think of the election.

VICE: Your campaign has made headlines, but your personal story is less well-known. Let's start from the beginning: Why did you originally decide to enlist?
Peter James Kiernan: I think there are always a lot of reasons why someone decides to serve, but for me, I was pretty intimately affected by 9/11. On that day, 42 people from my hometown were killed. Even my uncle, he actually worked in the World Trade Center, and the only reason he's alive today is because he was outside on a smoke break.

I was 11 at the time, so I was still pretty young, but watching all the funerals following 9/11 really galvanized my commitment to public service. Then in high school, when I started thinking for myself [ laughs], I first heard the quote: "The society that makes a distinction between its warriors and its scholars will have its fighting done by fools and its thinking done by cowards." That really resonated with me, especially as someone from a really conservative area where people were super supportive of our wars—even when they weren't going well—yet very few actually stepped up to serve. So when I graduated from high school, I enlisted in the Marine Corps.

"When I was 19 years old, I was responsible for $4.5 million of equipment, and by the time 22, I was leading 30 men on the battlefield."

You quickly ascended to the highly selective Marine Special Operations Command, became a scout sniper, free-fall qualified, and a fluent speaker of Pashto, which you used during your deployment in Afghanistan...
Being so young and given that much responsibility was just incredible. When I was 19 years old, I was responsible for $4.5 million of equipment, and by the time I was 22, I was leading 30 men on the battlefield. It's that kind of exponential development that doesn't happen anywhere else. Out of most of my six years, I spent a good majority of that in military schools, learning different skills, doing all sorts of things. So that's why I speak Pashto, I got to be a scout sniper, I got to jump out of planes, all those different things were really just because I was fortunate to be in this community, and why I try to give back to this community now as a veteran.

So turning to your campaign: Why'd you launch this effort?
I attended the Commander-in-Chief Forum on the Intrepid, the forum where both Secretary Clinton and then Mr. Trump answered questions for about a half hour on foreign policy, military, and veterans affairs. It was very apparent that the candidates were not being treated equally: Secretary Clinton took daggers for ten minutes about her emails, and Mr. Trump only got softballs. Clinton's released like 40 years of tax returns, Mr. Kaine's released ten years, Mr. Pence has released ten years, and yet, the fact that Trump hasn't released his tax returns seems to be like an asterisk, it's not even a serious question in the media.

The forum frustrated me because I'm genuinely concerned about the tax returns issue as it relates to national security. I think that if you have any conflicts of interest, which is the biggest issue for me and for national security, it can be exploited by your adversaries or influence your decisions. For example just theoretically, if you owe $100 million to China, let's say, there could be an incentive to go to war to erase that debt. In Afghanistan for example, we exploited our adversaries' conflicts of interest deliberately as a tactic all the time. I've seen how this works, and it works really, really well.

So for me, the fact that he didn't get asked about his taxes in a national security forum was insane. I started this campaign out of frustration with Mr. Trump, his campaign, and just to hold him accountable. He said he'd release these tax returns for months now, he still hasn't done it, and the American people have the right to review these factors so it could be discussed at least in the final debate.

"Too often veterans get used as props in political battles because they're a small, little demographic, and it's easy for politicians to play with us."

Your campaign really exploded when LinkedIn's Reid Hoffman pledged $5 million to your CrowdPac. How did that happen?
On the day I launched the CrowdPac, I happened to be on Rachel Maddow—not for our campaign—but was tweeting about it. And yeah, the founder of LinkedIn found it and then pledged $5 million and totally raised the profile of the project.

We were at probably under $10k, and then after he pledged, we raised $100k in 24 hours. Since then, over three weeks, we are averaging about $20k per day. So we've raised a ton of money for these veterans organizations and completely passed that initial $25k goal. It's been incredible.

Both candidates have been making overtures to the veterans' community. What's been your reaction to the discourse on these issues throughout the 2016 election cycle?
As far as putting concrete details on how each candidate is going to help veterans, the Clinton campaign far exceeds Mr. Trump's, certainly based off their policy platforms. Too often veterans get used as props in political battles because they're a small, little demographic, and it's easy for politicians to play with us.

But the thing that annoys me most was when Mr. Trump used veterans when he dipped out of the last Republican debate. He said it was more important to raise money for veterans than it was to attend the debate. This was just political convenience; it wasn't because he actually cared. And we know this now because it wasn't until four months later when David Fahrenthold [of the Washington Post] challenged Mr. Trump about his donation that we discovered he hadn't donated. He hadn't even pledged this supposed $1 million of his own money.

At this point, we've raised $6.2 million. That's more money than he raised by skipping his debate, and all he has to do is release his tax returns. He claimed he'd come out for veterans when it benefitted him, but what does he do when it really matters?

I've talked to you before about partisanship in the military, and you once said you felt a lot of Democratic views were taboo among your former comrades. You've run this as an independent voter, but of course, it's a challenge to the country's Republican nominee. What's been the reaction from your community?
Thankfully, it's been overwhelmingly supportive. I anticipated getting blackballed, but that really hasn't been the case. Most have been super supportive and excited that the campaign's raised so much money and attention for these veterans organizations.

While you still see kind of a rampant hatred for Secretary Clinton among veterans, you don't see a lot of support for Mr. Trump—most people see him as an asshole or an idiot, or both.

In this election, it seems like people aren't definitively Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal; we're really seeing mostly personal politics, politics of personality. So I think people support our campaign because it's benefiting veterans by challenging Trump to just have some integrity, to just stand by his word, and at the same time, it's not endorsing Secretary Clinton. And I think that's the line most of my buddies have come down on.

Anna Therese Day is an award-winning independent journalist. Follow her work in the field on Twitter and Instagram at @ATDLive and on Facebook.

Melania Trump finally broke her silence to defend her husband, ten days after Trump was revealed on tape saying he could grab women "by the pussy" because he was famous.

"He was led on—like, egged on—from the host to say dirty and bad stuff," Melania told Anderson Cooper Monday night on CNN, presumably blaming the whole thing on Billy Bush. Cooper recently grilled Trump about his sexually aggressive comments during the second presidential debate and, after Trump denied ever groping women without their consent, a number of them came forward with stories that called that into question.

Melania said she was surprised by her husband's recorded comments, but likened his misogynistic boasts to just "boy talk."

"The boys, the way they talk when they grow up, and they want to sometimes show each other, 'Oh, this and that' and talking about the girls. But yes, I was surprised, of course," Melania said.

As to the claims from multiple women that Donald Trump had touched or kissed them inappropriately, Melania went on to blame "the opposition"—which at this moment could mean Hillary Clinton, the media, or even members of her husband's own party, really—for bringing the women's stories forward.

"Did they ever check the background of these women? They don't have any facts," she said. "I believe my husband. I believe my husband."

Read: Donald Trump and What Men Say When They Think Women Won't Hear

Love you JT. Photos via Tagwa Moyo.

I often look at people with questionable looking or questionably-placed tattoos and think, You're going to regret that in 20 years. Whether it's an ill-planned homage to Drake, or a randomly-selected tat from a vending machine, the thought of living with a tattoo that loses its cultural significance after just a few years (or in the case of Harambe, months) is an absolute nightmare. And in our society full of impulsive decision makers and dumb trend-lovers (god love y'all), there are tons of people living that nightmare today (proof here and here).

But at the same time, tattoos are the most beautiful, personalized outlets for self-expression, so who am I to judge you for that "pussy eater" tat on your face?

I don't have any ink, but I'm definitely drawn to the sense of originality and creativity that the good ones provide. However, I'm incredibly indecisive—I can't even recall the last time I actually wore the first outfit I tried on in the morning.

And according to a Harris Research Poll last year, 23 percent of Americans regret some of the tattoos they got for a slew of reasons like, they were too young when they got it, their personality changed and it doesn't suit them anymore, or it was poorly done.

So earlier this year when I discovered Inkbox, a temporary tattoo company that's tailored for irritatingly sensible people like me, I was eager to try. Founded by Tyler and Braden Handley, two brothers from Toronto, Inkbox is perfect for the person who wants to express themselves but doesn't know WTF they want. And since the tats look super realistic and last you just a couple weeks, the only question to ask yourself is, why not?

To summarize exactly how this sorcery works, the Inkbox tattoo formula consists of a bunch of natural ingredients that sink into your skin through a 15-minute application process (which is pretty much like the regular temporary tattoo process).

Photo via Flickr user Kate Ter Haar

The Ontario government's two-year freeze on new water extraction permits and stricter rules on water-bottling companies are the "bare minimum" to protect groundwater supplies, according to water activists.

Not now, Canada. Photo via Flickr user Presidencia de la República Mexicana

By now you've probably come across the vom-inducing Tell America It's Great campaign.

Your crossfitting ex-roommate who loves posting inspirational quotes to Facebook has no doubt slapped it on her profile alongside a self-congratulatory message about being a good neighbour. If, by chance, you're lucky enough to not know what the hell I'm talking about, here's a quick recap:

In response to the dumpsterfire that is the US presidential campaign, a Toronto ad agency has taken it upon itself to release a series of videos in which earnest Canadians blow smoke up America's ass.

Set to a backdrop of ukulele music, the main video features a montage of fresh-faced Canadians making declarations like, "We're big fans."

"We're just up here in Canada talking about how great you guys are down there and we thought we'd just send you a little bit of a love note," says one cherubic man, who is inexplicably delivering his pep talk while lying on a hardwood floor. The next few people continue, "We know you've got some really big decisions to make, but as you're thinking about your future, we just want you to know that you guys are great. You really are."

They then list some of America's greatest achievements, such as inventing the internet, space travel, and having a good national parks system.

Honestly, what the hell are you guys on about?

First off, let's be real: Americans never have and never will give a shit about what Canadians think. Secondly, what they probably need right now is a dose of tough love—more along the lines of "If you get this wrong, you will fuck the whole world up" than "Y'all have some real pretty parks down there."

Like, if your friend was choosing between two dudes—one of whom was literally Satan—and she asked for your advice, would you be talking about her amazing shoe collection? Well, this isn't even really like that because no one wants our input.

The story has been picked up the New York Times (following up on its hard hitting 'Canada has Thanksgiving too!' coverage) and the Washington Post, and predictably, most of the comments are either from Americans talking about how everyone really was so polite that one time they visited Toronto, or from Canadians who are clearly jizzing themselves over being mentioned by a US news outlet.

While the tiny part of my soul that isn't cynical can see that the people behind Tell America It's Great have good intentions, mostly I just think this campaign is a thinly disguised excuse for Canadians to pat themselves on the back about how nice they are. Because, as I've already stressed, Americans are too busy dealing with real shit to be paying attention.

Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.

A 2013 protest in Montreal. Photo via The Canadian Press.

Just three years after Quebec's proposed Charter of Values died in the provincial legislature, thanks to backlash that knocked the Parti Quebecois out of power, the Quebec Liberal Party has brought a watered-down version of the bill back.

The legislation, Bill 62, will require that most provincial employees — doctors, nurses, teachers, professors, bureaucrats — have their faces uncovered at work. Anyone obtaining services from those employees will, likewise, be forbidden from wearing a face-covering.

That bill was introduced as a moderate, less intrusive version of the PQ's values charter, but it hasn't made the idea any less controversial.

A Parliamentary committee in Quebec's National Assembly started studying the bill on Tuesday, and was immediately decried as counterproductive by a representative of a women's rights group called to testify.

Quebec's justice minister, Stéphanie Vallée, defended the bill, promising the committee that it maintains "respect for others" while also ensuring "security, identification, and communication"—three things, apparently, made impossible by a burqa or niqab.

Read More: Quebec's Values Charter Worse Than Expected

But the fiercest critics won't even appear before the committee to bash the bill. More than 20 groups, including Quebec's commission on religious accommodation, are boycotting the hearings. They're staying at home not because the bill goes too far—but because it doesn't go far enough.

Quebec's two main opposition parties, the PQ and the Coalition Avenir Quebec, agree.

"This bill worries me greatly because it's not legislation about the religious neutrality of the state, it's legislation which shoves Liberal multiculturalism down our throat," said Nathalie Roy, the CAQ's critic on religious neutrality, according to La Presse.

The legislation, entitled An Act to foster adherence to State religious neutrality and, in particular, to provide a framework for religious accommodation requests in certain bodies, will be studied by the committee until November 9. The PQ has already signalled their intent to try and amend the bill to expand its application.

Follow Justin Ling on Twitter.

Willam Belli does what he does best. Photo by Mathu Andersen courtesy Grand Central Publishing

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Ladies and gentlemen, the library is open. If you've ever wanted a chance to read notorious drag queen Willam Belli, your opportunity has arrived—literally—in the form of Belli's new book, Suck Less: Where There's a Willam, There's A Way, out today on Grand Central Publishing. It's a deranged quasi-self-help tome that doles out advice on how to become a "hairless creature of god," "ways to make your dick look bigger," and "fucking shit up on reality shows for your benefit."

The latter is something with which Belli has intimate experience, as the only queen to become famous from RuPaul's Drag Race not for winning, but for being mysteriously disqualified from its fourth season after breaking various show rules. (To this day, Belli refuses to say exactly what those rules were.) The ensuing drama was enough to secure Belli a permanent, if unofficial, spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame, along with legions of devoted followers.

But Belli has proven he's more than just a flamboyant flash in the Drag Race pan in the years since his appearance—the versatile queen is also a genuinely talented actor, with roles in Nip/Tuck, Southland, American Wedding, and Because I Said So. His popular YouTube channel is a comedy goldmine, spawning viral hits like the Alicia Keys parody "Boy Is A Bottom." He's modeled for American Apparel, performed around the world—and now, he adds a brilliantly twisted book to his list of drag-ccomplishments.

We caught up with Belli and dished with the queen's queen about his new book, his passion for drag, and why his "flower continues to blossom like a Bloomin' Onion from Outback Steakhouse."

VICE: Congrats on your book, gurl! Why did you choose to write a book, and why now?
Willam Belli: I've been friends with Neil Hedwig and the Angry Inch, he wanted to learn about the ins & outs of drag a bit. In helping out a friend, I figured out that some people might care about some of the shit I know. So why not write it down, along with 19 typos (I'm a drag queen, not a scientist).

How are you uniquely qualified, as a drag queen, to help people "Suck Less"?
Listen—by the time I'm 40, I'm either gonna be super famous or dead. I have a fuckload of fun and waste no time on covering all the bases in my book: topics like getting outta DUI's, piercings, makeup, taking your clothes off for money, and especially fucking shit up on reality shows for your benefit.

In your book, you touch on your infamous Drag Race disqualification. Looking back on that season of Drag Race, would you do things differently now? Or are you glad things went down like they did?
Breaking rules was always in the plan for me. I never planned to stay past a certain point because I had a show to do in NYC at Fringe Fest. At the time, I was still attempting the acting thing. Now I just make a living being myself. So, short answer—no. I wouldn't change shit.

Was it hard to translate your personal brand of humor into a bona fide book? What do you think is the most revealing part of the book, in terms of your personal life?
I recorded tons of it into my phone and just transcribed it after. It's how my editor told me I could capture my "voice" in print. The most revealing part was talking about how I used to be an underage prostitute in a Dave & Buster's parking lot. I wish I was lying about that, to a degree.

What was your favorite part of this to write?
The quiz about reality shows, because I can't get sued for asking a question, now can I? I don't blatantly say what I did on RuPaul's Drag Race half a decade ago , but I allow the reader to read between the lines for sure.

Why do you personally do drag?
A lot of people in my field complain about the travel, or bemoan things like "I hafta be in drag six outta seven days this week," and I wanna donkey punch them. It's like, "No, bitch—you don't HAFTA be in drag six days. You GET TO BE in drag six days." Our jobs are amazing. We make people happy. I'm incredibly fucking blessed that people care. I don't know how to do anything else and lack any skill that would be applicable on a résumé. Drag is what I know. The gigs are my life.

It seems like there are more drag queens that ever these days. How have you managed to stay relevant?
Creating content and never being afraid to try something new have been my two hallmarks. I'm lucky to not have to worry if World of Wonder or Logo will like what I'm doing or not. I just do my own thing, and my flower continues to blossom like one of those delicious Bloomin' Onions from Outback Steakhouse.

What are you looking forward to most about your upcoming book tour?

(Photo: Evan Amos, via)

Having kids is weird, isn't it? Presumably you know many, if not all, the risks and permutations before the wean pops out. Yet, it's still a seemingly agonising, relentlessly exhausting form of group madness that you share with your partner. You begin to think the smell of human effluence is cute and endearing. You stand in a kitchen with a creature that is giving itself a sore throat through constant screaming, and you bob up and down to try to get it to stop. You're not cool any more, unless you're a celebrity, which you're not, and the chances of you becoming a celebrity have now decreased by an incredibly large margin.

Of course, it's all worth it for the joy of creating an actual human being whose name is entirely up to you. But bear this in mind: there are certain things in life that you should have done before you have a kid. Mostly, these are basic things like "knowing how to put up a shelf" or "being able to buy a crib", though some things you can only learn on the job, as it were, like "the best way to wipe an arse full of shit".

Below is a list of things that you should have done or taken care of before you have your little ankle-biter.

OWN A DOG

If you can't look after a mangy mutt that will literally do anything in its limited power to gain your approval and admiration, you're certainly not cut out for an equally mangy child who actively shirks your approval and wilfully disobeys everything you say, staring you in the eye while it tips a glass of sticky orange juice all over your new upholstery.

"It's pretty cliche, but I think having a dog before the baby came sort of prepared me for what was to come," says creator of a human life, Gemma. "The dog is a walk in the fucking park – literally – compared to the baby, but it was a lesson in responsibility and it meant we were already kind of used to having something more important to go home to."

The dog demands attention, it will not leave you alone, it will shit itself, it will cry. The only differences between a dog and a baby is that it will sleep when you want it to and owning one is much cooler and more chill. The only problem is they die sooner, but if the kid is born in the lifespan of the dog then you have a good friend on deck for the child who will one day end up teaching them about the painful, unfair horrors of mortality.

Which brings us to our next item:

Photo by Don LaVange via Flickr.

GO TO A FUNERAL

Your first experience of the weird procession of goodbyes should come well before you squeeze out a being that will inevitably have to say goodbye to you as well. This ritual of both pain and relief is a test of your resolve and an eye-opening experience, during which a level of acceptance is tattooed onto your psyche, allowing you to properly guide your brood into their lives and teach them the ways of this cruel, unforgiving world.

Yep, seeing that casket move through the air at head height, then seeing the white smoke from the chimney lift into the clouds – a vessel deconstructed and blown back to the heavens – is a moving thing, and something you don't want to see for the first time holding the hand of some screaming prawn who wants to go home and watch whatever latter-day version of Minions: The Animated Series is on Cartoon Network.

LEARN HOW TO HIDE YOUR DRUNKENNESS

As a child, there is nothing more terrifying than the confusion that comes with witnessing adult inebriation. Seeing your parents – stalwarts of chastity, the birth givers, the closest thing your small brain recognises as God – stumbling through the front door, laughing and shouting, moving erratically. It's a lot for the child to take in. If you're going to be pissed half the time as a parent – which is a fair enough life choice, really – learn to hide how pissed you are. Or, perhaps you could incorporate your pissed personality into your normal personality; that way it's not as disorientating for the kid when you've had two bottles of wine and a Peroni chaser.

Conversely, getting wasted all the time prepares you for a life of near-constant exhaustion. "Slightly shameful to admit it, but regularly turning up to work hungover and on little sleep has definitely prepared me for these first months," says Dexter, a man with a small child. "Every day feels a bit like the third morning of a festival. You're not sure if you can really be arsed to go and do it all again, because while yesterday was bloody great, it was really fucking tiring, but then everyone else gets up and you all need to encourage each other to get involved, and you do, and it's all fine."

GO ABROAD

It might sound a bit #CheckYourPrivilege, but even if it's just Ireland or something shit like that, it's good to have seen another place and different people, even if those people are Welsh. It's also a good opportunity to enjoy some moments of solace before your life is wholly encompassed by the Damian of your loins. Before having a kid, "Go on a holiday where you actually read a whole book, because you will never finish a book again," says mother of one, Sophie. "Your brain goes soft."

GO TO THE GYM AND THEN DON'T GO TO BED AFTERWARDS

Of all the things the parents I've spoken to express about their new lives as caregivers, the extreme lack of rest they experience seems to be the most common. "One thing that literally nothing could have prepared me for was the sleep deprivation," says Gemma. "You'd need to participate in some kind of science experiment on sleep torture to truly prepare yourself for it."

One way to simulate this illegal-level of exhaustion would be to hit the gym for a sweet workout – glutes, lats, you know, bit of cardio – then go home and just stare at the ceiling in the dark. Maybe you could fashion a rudimentary Rube Goldberg machine that emits a scream and pours a bucket of hot sick on your face at bi-hourly intervals, too?

Man, the miracle of life, huh?

@joe_bish

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(Photo: Matt Desouza)

People caught carrying personal amounts of drugs, including cocaine and heroin, are being diverted away from the criminal justice system in what could mark the first step towards the decriminalisation of drugs in Britain, VICE can reveal.

In a move that appears to fly in the face of the Home Office's official anti-drug reform mantra, both Durham and Avon & Somerset Police forces have for several months been operating "diversion" schemes which have resulted in scores of drug users avoiding court, jail and a criminal record.

It marks the first time people caught with cocaine and heroin have avoided automatic criminalisation since the possession of both drugs without a prescription was banned a century ago under the Defence of the Realm Act, which was introduced in 1916 during the First World War.

In Bristol, where Avon and Somerset's Drug Education Programme has been running since April, 215 people caught in possession of drugs – an offence with a maximum sentence of seven years – have been offered an alternative to receiving a criminal record and court summons. Instead, drug users can attend a three-and-a-half hour drug education workshop run by a local drug service. If the workshop is successfully completed, those caught with drugs receive a letter confirming that their drug possession offence has been dropped. Anyone can be offered the diversion, regardless of their past criminal record, including previous cannabis warnings and drug convictions.

Police say 80 percent have taken up the offer and completed the workshop. However, those diverted onto the scheme, which has been extended to April next year, only get one shot. As with cannabis warnings, if they are caught a second time they will be arrested and dealt with as normal.

Over half of those diverted onto the scheme were picked up for possession of cannabis, and a quarter were stopped carrying either cocaine or MDMA. Others have come onto the scheme after being caught with heroin, crack cocaine, speed, ketamine, magic mushrooms and 2CB.

Drug workers say problem heroin and crack users are less likely to take part in the experiment. Most already have a history of drug convictions and some prefer going to prison. Police say people caught in possession of drugs alongside more serious crimes such as theft are less likely to be offered the scheme than others. So far, 40 young people, who attend a special youth version of the workshops, have taken part in the experiment.

Paul Bunt, Avon and Somerset Police's drug strategy manager, who devised the scheme, said: "In schools, drug education is patchy – it's not taken seriously. Being arrested for drug possession is a shock. When someone gets detained by a police officer it's a scary experience for those who have not been arrested before. But I wanted a process where I could deal with low-level drug offences without getting people involved in the criminal justice system. As of yet we are not aware of anyone being arrested again after attending one of these workshops."

In Durham a more wide-ranging diversion programme, Checkpoint, has been targeting perpetrators of several high volume offences such as theft and violence, as well as drug possession, since April of last year. The force attracted attention last year after announcing it would not arrest people for low-level cannabis possession and cultivation offences, but nothing has been said about its decision to divert some class A drug users away from the courts – although they have a tougher alternative than the one employed in Bristol.

To date, 74 people arrested for possession of drugs under the Checkpoint scheme in County Durham – including for class A drugs cocaine and heroin – have had their prosecutions "suspended", subject to successful completion of a four-month "contract". During this contract offenders cannot break the law and must attend a series of drug awareness, restorative justice and community work programmes. So far, only three of the 74 caught in possession of drugs have failed to see out their contract and get their offence expunged.

A third police force, Devon and Cornwall, is in line to roll out Durham's Checkpoint scheme, including the diversion of people caught in possession of drugs.

Evidence collected from Avon & Somerset and Durham police forces, which will be seen by the Home Office, suggest that the schemes have so far been highly successful in engaging certain drug users, reducing re-offending and keeping people out of the costly justice system.

A Home Office spokesperson said of the schemes: "This government has no intention of decriminalising drugs. It is vital that the police and criminal justice system have a range of measures available to them to prevent drug use, also have the tools to deal robustly with serious and repeat offenders who cause the most harm in our communities."

However, VICE has learned from a senior policing insider that, despite its historical ambivalence, the Home Office has "an appetite" for looking at ways of edging towards decriminalisation, which it prefers to call "diversion" because it's less likely to get the right-wing tabloids excited. If the pilots are given positive evaluations there is a real prospect that the Home Office and Public Health England could set up a UK-wide programme similar to those being tested in Bristol and Durham.

WATCH: 'Inside Britain's Ecstasy Underworld,' the first episode of our new series about drugs in the UK.

This is not as surprising as it sounds. The Psychoactive Substances Act introduced in May this year outlawed a raft of substances, but crucially did not criminalise possession. There is growing support for a Portuguese style system of decriminalisation in the UK, from public health bodies, medical experts and newspapers such as the Times. Moreover, a report into Britain's drug laws – to be published later this year by the government's own drug advisory body, the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs – looks set to back decriminalisation as an effective policy. In 2014, more than 60,000 people received a caution or conviction for drug possession in England and Wales. A criminal record for drug possession – which you can get via a caution – can severely restrict people's future job prospects and ability to travel abroad.

Niamh Eastwood, executive director of drug law charity Release, said: "The fact that police forces are recognising the futility of criminalising those who use drugs and are willing to implement alternative approaches shows that they are well ahead of the government when it comes to recognising what good public policy can look like. We hope that the government takes note and learns from local policing initiatives – such as those in Bristol and Durham – so that they can inform a much-needed shift in national policy."

Eastwood said over 20 countries in the world, such as Portugal, have adopted non-criminal responses to possession of drugs, with "irrefutable benefits for individuals, society and the government", and without leading to sweeping rises in drug use.

However, the pilot schemes in Bristol and Durham are far from being part of a national trend of relaxing how drug possession is policed. Across the country stop and search for drugs remains persistently high, accounting for 60 percent of all searches, and even reaching 80 percent in some parts of London, Eastwood points out.

One senior police officer with experience of the drug trade, who did not want to be named, told VICE: "I fail to understand why anyone caught with a small amount of drugs should face seven years in prison. It doesn't solve the problem of why they have that drug in the first place and we don't have the time of day to help them if they need it.

"Officers should be able to stop people in the street without thinking they are going to have to arrest them if they find a small amount of drugs on them. At the moment our hands are tied. The experiments going on in Bristol and Durham are brave. You have to hope the government looks at the evidence, because criminalising people for drug possession is counter-productive."

@Narcomania

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What happens when you put #mermaidlife into Instagram. Screen grab via Instagram.

Mermaids, in 2016, are everywhere. A search for #MermaidLife on Instagram returns multiple pages of girls kicking it by the beach, giving peace signs with their friends or taking selfies of their pastel dip-dyes.

They're all over the high street, too. Put "mermaid" into ASOS's search box and you'll find reams of mermaid merch: make-up bags branded "mermaid off duty" or claiming that "mermaids have more fun". There are glittery phone cases with "oh yeah, I'm mermaid" written on the back. Paperchase do a line of mermaid stationary – their "let's be mermaids" pencil case has now sold out – and Topshop have a line of Little Mermaid products.

These are not just products for little girls. They are clothes and accessories sold by high street chains and marketed to adults. So why are grown women identifying with #mermaidlife?

A #MermaidLife is a magical life, full of possibility and wonder.

There's an obvious connection here with the rising interest in witchcraft – a trend that intersects the mainstreaming of feminism, mainstream culture's newfound obsession with nature and spirituality, and a revival of 1990s new-age ephemera – horoscopes, The Craft, birthstone crystals.

Jessica Nunley is 27 and uses #mermaidlife regularly on Instagram. "It can mean a couple things," she says of the hashtag. "It can be more literal, like living near the beach – which I do – or it can just mean living a carefree life and having an appreciation for nature."

She says the hashtag works to describes her personality. "I've always loved mermaids and the ocean. I'm a free spirit and very laid back, so when I say #MermaidLife, that's usually what I'm referring to. Also, my hair is teal so I use it to describe my mermaid appearance."

Renae Abbate – or Mademoiselle Mermaid, as she's known on Twitter and her blog – says she discovered #MermaidLife byd following accounts about nature and magic.

"There have been times throughout history where people have been more in touch with their own magic, with the magic inherent to the world," she says. "Using #MermaidLife is about giving yourself permission to be unconditionally happy. To take part in what brings you joy."

A big part of that "joy", it turns out, is buying stuff. "It is also about taking care of your hair, dressing beautifully and adorning your home with trinkets and treasures," she says.

Jessica Nunley. Screen grab via Instagram.

The high street is churning out these "trinkets and treasures" to meet the popular demand. Women's clothing website Boohoo sells a range of #mermaidlife slogan tees, "undercover mermaid" accessories, shimmering mermaid shoes, clothes and nightwear.

"We first identified this emerging trend about six months ago, through research across social media and via trend reports," a spokesperson for the site explained. "For this particular trend we built mood boards around mermaids and selected fabrics reflecting them. Then we make relevant for our customers."

While the commodification of the whole mermaid thing is relatively new, there's been a different kind of subculture devoted to the mythical creatures for a while. Mermaids are a sub-genre of "otherkin" – people who identify as either partially or entirely non-human. Mermaidkin, or Merkin, groups on Tumblr share stories about how they came out to their families about identifying as non-humans, their affinity with the ocean and their former mermaid lives.

Photo via Boohoo.com

Of course, that's pretty niche and has little to do with the girls with magenta hair Instagramming selfies at the beach. So why have mermaids suddenly become mainstream?

Dr Sarah Peverley is a Professor of English at the University of Liverpool and is currently writing a book on the cultural history of the mermaid. "There's never really been a time in which mermaids haven't been with us in literature, art and culture," she says. "The symbolism attributed to mermaids still persists; they embody difference, personal freedom and the natural world.

"Across social media the examples I've seen appear to denote personal liberty or the idea of escapism. Perhaps part of the mermaid's current appeal is that they're frequently perceived as autonomous. They possess a serenity and oneness with the world that is hard to obtain in our constantly switched on and fast-paced world. A #MermaidLife is a magical life, full of possibility and wonder."

Dr Louise Milne is a Lecturer at the Edinburgh College of Art and says #mermaidlife is about the mainstreaming of feminist ideas around sexual autonomy and consent – and a reaction to the sexualisation of women in pop culture. "Mermaids in folklore and customs have represented potential or "unused" fertility," she says. "Her power is benevolent and healing, or malevolent; inferring death or drowning."

While, historically, the mermaid's sexuality could be sinful and unattainable, the mermaid in contemporary culture has become attainable and possible. "The renewed relevance of the mermaid is perhaps because she is a persisting icon of young, female beauty – however, with a "look-don't-touch" element," says Milne. "It is a step back, or step sideways, from the over-sexualised cultural expectation of contemporary young women."

Young women, in particular, find affinity with the mermaid because "she is in transition. And so perhaps she is a readymade emblem for young women who are also in transition in terms of their age; unmarried, pre-motherhood, not exactly virginal but with unspent sexual power."

So maybe mermaids tell us exactly what is happening with young women right now – they represent a fantastical and idealised sexuality, but they haven't got the goods. They embody the weight of expectation for girls to confirm to a certain sexual standard but they have no sexual agency themselves. Maybe the question isn't why are young women identifying with #mermaidlife now, but why haven't they sooner?

@Lara_A_Williams

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